There is an old army joke in Russia about all those "secret spetsnaz martial arts" : To engage in hand-to-hand combat, a spetsnaz soldier must lose his assault rifle, pistol, knife, sapper blade, waist belt and helmet. Find a clean field with not a single stone or stick lying around. And enter into a tough fight with the goofball as incompetent as he is.
For the most part yes that's true, although the special forces branches of military would actually have the most possibility to end up in that sort of situation, it's just generally not gonna happen.
@NigmaSuperZo sword and shield, defend your people, don't strike anyone with your sword,, if your a Knight you would be intimate enough, I'm still trying to process power struggles and politak stuff
The Russian martial training also makes certain cultural assumptions, pain and injury endurance are as widely trained as attacking, apparently very little is in avoiding, deceiving, or retreating from harm. A Russian soldier is expected to attack, endure, or deflect and attack. But this means feints, and distance openers are ignored as an option generally, but that also features into their combat mindset, if their main weapon is lost, pistol is empty, don't fall back to reload or rearm, advance with your knife and keep going.
99% vertainty this is just russians being hilarious while Americans and all their raging xenophobia take hilarious sarcastic memes and think "OMG THE FOREIGN ADVERSARY IS GENUINELY THIS INSANE!!!!"
@VikingTeddy or stay to have a great time getting drunk with people who love comedy. Ever been to Russia? Lovely people over there if youre a tourist. You may even end up in a meme video like this one, laughing your butt off.
@@nowayjosedaniel Never been unfortunately. But for like a decade, this Russian backpacker would show up in my city and play bagpipes on the street. He hitchiked from Vladivostok to St.Petersburg yearly and toured europe with no money. He'd always find someone who'd let him crash, and when he didn't, he survived by piping on the streets and camping in the woods. Coolest dude I ever met.
Since I played a character with a Sandevistan* in Cyberpunk these instructions became much more relateable 😅 *From the players perspective: up to 80% time slow for your opponents while you move with normal speed; from the NPCs perspektive: someone is moving really fast and mows down other people
@@Candlemancerpretty sure operator is a Wizard and coughed out the Haste on him, so it's actually 5 attacks... Also it's pretty obvious, that Rogue person is Staggered, possibly Confused too.😂
@@nowayjosedaniel That's a weird comment about Americans and xenophobia when I've seen you replying to multiple people with "You Americans", or "west bad" in some sort of variation. Just pointing that out before I proceed to ignore you forever, I'd rather not turn Skall's comment section into a political shit slinging contest.
If it's off by a single atom, it's contactless. Shame you Americans cant even see. What kind of standard vision do you have over there? Something as blind as 20/20?
Contactless fighting is an old meme in the Russian community. There were some schools that taught various esoteric techniques based on controlling the chi energy which can be used basically like the blood bending from Avatar the Last Airbender. The actual lore is pretty grim though, the masters would often abuse the students physically and emotionally to make them basically vegetables that would fall unconscious every time the master would raise his hand, making an illusion of their "technique" (aside from his friends who would play fake students when the school is still small).
@@angusmuir6180 "self defense" by... basically dropping a log on your unnaturally compliant atacker? Don't ask why you're being attacked while carrying around a log but not the axe you presumaby used to cut said log.
It's a video small reacted before of guy teaching how to hit a guy attacking with a sword while you are carrying a huge sword. Title is fake sword combat ( skull loses it ) The video is quite a trip.
I'm not surprised this is tagged as Systema. Those of us who do unarmed martial arts all know it's bullshido. You could find something more effective from Master Ken.
I absolutely love the types of self-defense techniques that only work if the attacker is moving in slow-motion, while the "victim" is normal speed. Helps me train for the days my super-speed finally kicks in.
Thank you so much for making the point that technique needs to be tested against people who don't also train in that technique, who don't know how it's expected to work, and who aren't invested in reinforcing what you think you know.
@@lucasanderson1516 so true, a book, rolled up journal, a jacket, an umbrella, a chair, anything you can grab .. its funny that Jackie Chan movies even though its meant to be comedy and he did have to retry certain things several times is still more realistic and helpful than anything else you see trying to teach you self defense, because he uses the environment and gets beat up too, there is no "free" self defense with the risk of harm if someone is intend on harming you you have to be as fierce
Charitable take: In training sometimes we work on one aspect at a time. Example: A drill that is to train relaxed flowing motion may not be "effective" in any way but still may help you learn balance and relaxed movement without tension. The context you may not see doesn't make the video. Where the teacher explains that this is not a fighting technique but rather a training drill. I train in Aikido and our sword practice is not at all the same as Kendo or Kenjutsu. This is because the purpose is to teach alignment, balance, extension & projecting power. It is said practice unarmed as if you have a weapon and weapons as if you are unarmed. Posture alignment, blending moving off the line of attack should be nearly identical either way.
Not just that, but Americans love to see anything Russia or China and their xenophobia goes off to such an extreme that they start assuming everyone ther re must be a ritraded ape and then take themselves as serious as ww3.
The problem with training a technique that is 'for balance' not actual combat is muscle memory, you are likely going to use it instinctually leaving you in a bad position
The instant the blades touch, one of them completely ragdolls every time. Sometimes even bending their body to expose their neck and entirely looking away from their opponent. I think this strategy only works if your opponent is so intimidated by you, they assume they are going to lose from the beginning.
In anime, the winner of a duel is often determined in the stare-down before their blades are even drawn. In real-life tho... ehhh, not so much hehe! :P
Hey Skall, you might have minsunderstood thefirst clip there. The technique the guy with the saber uses is an russian saber technique meant to slice your opponent's nipple, which leaves him incapacitated and probably flabbergasted as well.
Yes, I really see the Sagat side of the story, great scar if you live. Because if that is a real sabre, it’s pointy and SHARP, sabres are meant to slice after all.
Makes me think of an anecdote about the live-action Street Fighter movie, with Raul Julia. Apparently at first they trained and choreographed the fight scenes with the actors pretty much all using the same overall style. Until someone pointed out that was the opposite of the point with Street Fighter “The World Warriors.”
Which makes sense in case of unarmed attacks, although it's odd to put so much emphasis on it. Normally it's a way to mitigate damage when your defense has already failed... to use it as seemingly the primary defense doesn't compute in my brain.
@@Skallagrim The guy I've trained under since 2002 is certified to teach Systema under Vladimir Vasiliev (the Spetsnaz one, not the ballet one), who I've met, moved with, and have heard a lot more about from my instructor. Now at the school I train at, my instructor doesn't teach direct Systema, but at times will talk about incorporating it into close-quarters fighting, usually in BJJ, trapping, and close-range knife/pistol (using, not defending against). The hypothesis on "rolling with the punches" is a pretty accurate take on the general application of the stuff as we've been adapting it. It's a lot about moving with force in odd ways similar to Aikido or in some cases visually, maybe even drunken boxing. Most of the time whenever we work it in (which isn't often, admittedly), it's in the guise of grappling, not dealing with an incoming strike. Imagine someone trying to grapple with your shoulder or shirt collar and shrugging them closer to you with a limp shoulder roll vs digging in and tying up directly. The result isn't going to be someone magically falling over like their bones disappeared, but if they're expecting you to meet force with force and you momentarily fold, you can probably get him to stumble forward a step where you can leave something hard like a knee, elbow, or the top of your head in the path of their much softer, squishier parts. Unfortunately, the allure of "Top Secret Foreign Special Forces Fighting System that the US Government Tried to Steal" coupled with the various practitioners who brought it over to the west kind of created this kind of Jeet Kune Do situation where certain people have claims over what the "Real Systema" is and how much that can be marketed, now you've got stuff like "Healing Punches" or whatever that's supposed to mean. At this point, the small handful of popular videos/gifs have just made it the butt of of most "bullshido" forums.
@@Skallagrim I have also been trained in Systema, that was following the Ryabko school for 4 years. And yes there were also alot of teacher around, that had their own "versions" and were very vocal about, coming up with large variety of moveset, that were realy head scratching. What I learned and still remember to this day is, that it taught me proper body movement, posture(mine was terrible when I started), feeling of strengh - as weird as it sounds, but basicaly hit soft with hard, hit hard with soft (soft on soft does nothing, hard on hard - you will likely get yourself injured or break bones), what we focused on was movement, reading of oponent, being able to relax, redirection of force and using it againts your oponent, using as little strength for maximum effect, submissions, control of opponent, grabling, how to get out of these situations too and general agility more than just brute strength, punches, kicks etc. It is a System afterall, it should cover all aspects. Including training with weapons, unarmed, improvised weapon (whatever you find in your pockets). Multiple opponents (this was realy hard, and what we learned was, that people would mostly just freeze or get stuck, and had no idea what to do, they would shut down and get overwhelmed, even though that training may seem pointless, what it did teach is,,move move move, even if that defense may be suboptimal, it is better that just freezing in place and getting yourself killed). Another thing I got out of it is I learned how to be calm, even when in stressful situation, reading movement of people and general geometry of ones body (weakpoints, locks, throwing somebody out of balance etc.) It is not perfect and even my teacher told me, in order to make this practical in full, go and learn other martial arts, not just to complement the foundation from systema, but it can also provide you with broad overview of what works and what doesn't for you which I think was generaly a good mindset to have.
I remember watching a sensei seth video a couple years ago where he tried systema and his conclusion was that it was a good exercise to complement other martial arts since it helps you relax your body but also that systema is not particularly useful by itself.
On the same level then synchronized artistic swimming then, nice! ... As a fighting style, not as an artistic expression or physical exercise. Synchronized swimming has systema beat in those two fields.
That wiggle-jiggle video totally reminded me of some bunk martial arts video from a few years ago. The sensei of a dojo claimed to have a "perfect ki defense" that was so great no one could even land a punch on him -- he had all these videos showing this, as his students came at him and completely whiffed as the sensei used his "ki" to casually evade their strike, usually followed by him doing some hand wave Naruto "ki" thing that caused the students to literally go flying. A real martial artist signed up for his class, pretending to have no skill, and promptly KO'd the sensei in their first sparring, because "ki" isn't a real thing if you're not in an anime -- which pretty much ended all the hype around him :P
Puts me in mind of another black belt who also claimed to use this power. When his students could see him do his trick, they fell over. When they couldn't see him, nothing happened. Of course, he had a rationalization, but it was one that made his supposed super-power useless: the slightest change in the target could negate his energy. Moving the tongue, or twitching a toe, or shifting weight. We move _all the time_ in some way or another (and I don't mean breathing or heartbeat). {As I type this, I am suddenly aware of my blinking and other movements.}
@@julietfischer5056 There's lots of other things that you become very aware of when pointed out too, that you usually don't think about. Like how your breathing is now manual, rather than automatic, because now you're thinking about it.
@@Darca1n- Or you're aware that you're breathing and some dumb little part of you decides that the cue to hold your breath so now you have to think about it.
The quintessential bullshido move is: "you overcommit to a strike and then I counter". Anybody who tries to show off by doing this is immediately suspect.
Another great lesson. As much as I dislike reaction videos (which is the category I would put this in) your insights are priceless. Do not open your defense by ridiculing the opponent. And most of all: honor and respect him. That is the lesson to be taken from this vid. Bows to you, sir.
I'm just an observer of sword arts... the arm position and edge of the Saber the kid's holding against Mr Bushido, he'd also likely have lost his head, or at least had his throat slit/ deep gouge with diagonal upward slash, I mean... like... the Saber is right under his chin😵🙄
Yeah, I also have no experience with a sword but I feel like instead of continuing with the thrust/draw cut? that he got going he could just swing his arm to the right to do a cut at the other guys chest or head/neck.
They're probably striking with the flats for safety reasons. I mean they're clearly using steel weapons and there isn't single piece of protective gear in sight in most of these clips. Even if the edges are dull you could still easily fracture bone if you strike with the edge or spine.
Probably giving them more credit than is deserved, but the striking with the flat may be a safety convention for sparring/demonstration in this system. Doesn't necessarily seem like a good idea from a development of muscle memory point of view, but it's the only way I can think of that it could make sense. I don't know how consistently they did that in the videos.
whats with Russian martial arts and the "contactless" bs. They already did it in systema that was popular like 10-15 years ago where guy in the video was always barely touching people who fell down for no reason Like imagine if the guy with the sabre did what the hero in Deluge movie did in the duel. no chance of any of this
A variation of the other kind of Russian martial arts video where practitioners demonstrate how hardcore they and their techniques are by practising with live blades?
@budgetcommander4849 It's amazing that american xenophobia is so intense, and you guys propagandized to such an insane degree, that anytime you see Russia or China do anything, you assume it cant be a fun meme or some out of context video - but a full throttle deeply serious religious belief from mentally handicapped subhuman ape foreigners who dont know how the most basic components of real life work.
Occams Razor dude. What is more likely? 1.) Everyone too foreign from you is a suicidal subhuman ape who doesnt know how anything works 2.) Theyre the same as any other human, except you're so propagandized that you cant see straight.
Well these people make money out of it, presenting this bullshit as patriotic activity for youth and either getting govt backing or fools who pay to be taught that crap. We have Sambo for real people though.
21:10 - don’t know how true it is, but I’ve heard something similar said about chess; sometimes grand masters find it trickier to play against newcomers to the game than players with moderate or more competency precisely because the novice hasn’t learnt that you’re ‘supposed’ to react to move X with move Y and don’t fall for traps that more experienced players would because they don’t even realise there was bait there they were supposed to take, and in general are more unpredictable in how they play. Doesn’t necessarily mean they stand a chance against a grand master, and said master would probably still wipe the floor with them quickly.
"parry it with the spine. the spine of the blade, not your own spine!" ah ... I really should start watching the whole thing before executing instructions, huh?
Speaking of machete, i found a very nsfw video on reddit some times ago, where some douches, both armed with machetes, stares and shout at each other for a while, then when they start whacking they end up in a brawl that last 5 second, one of the dude fall, get up and pick up his hand from the ground before walking away. The other see the scene while walking away in the other direction and check if he still has both hands. Real blade fights are not really forgiving.
I'm reminded of a story about my husband back in his Navy days. He was on leave and just bought a magazine and was heading out to dinner. He passes an alley that a guy jumps out with a knife and stabs him. Due to the magazine in his jumper, the blade deflects then gets stuck in the fabric. See Reply for continued
Rest of the story, fast forward to the police showing up to my husband having the assailant on the ground and he's kicking his ribs in. They're about to arrest him, but he turns to where they can see the knife still stuck in his uniform. They immediately reassess and asked if he was alright...he was pissed because he had to get the jumper repaired or replaced
Hey man! You are looking pretty slimed down! As someone who has been strugggggling with weight loss, just wanted to say great job! Even if it's unintentional, your looking great!.
I think the movements might make sense if we imagine the left huy in full plate armour and the other guy in just a simple tunic or light gambeson, and the armoured guy has the intention to not kill his opponent. In that scenario the left guy should be absolutely fine with getting a single cut or thrust, and it would explain the very defensive counterattacks. The question is though: Why doesn't he just punch the unarmoured guy in the face with his gauntlet and call it a day?
That blade looks like a Cossack saber. Given how much Cossacks love swordplay and how much it is a part of their culture, I can only imagine this guy is exiled from whatever city or village he is originally from. Flankirovka might be impractical, but unlike whatever that was, it's not meant to be practical, and it actually has some vague connection to real combat use
there's a martial art I heard about in my teens but I've never been able to track down that basically says "human's aren't predators, learn to use everything as a weapon". So for a long time I've found martial arts fairly useless unless they're intended as a form of personal growth/exercise.
Makes me think of Quicksilver in the best X-Men movie. If the world is moving in slow motion compared to you, you can do anything you want. (Humming "If I could save time in a bottle...")
Reminds me of that gunkata from that one movie I can't remember. There's a series of predictable movements and firing maneuvers that can be countered by moving very specially to dodge all the gunfire. Or something. Ahahahaaa.
Russian combat theory dictates that there are no wrong techniques, only men to weak to do them. Throw enough men at it and someone will eventually come out with survivorship bias and vouch for it. See also every war they have ever fought. Edit: Boxing is a lot more about moving off-line for the opponent so they have to correct before retaliating than it is about seeing it coming. Thats anticipating the opponents options and being where they won't land more than it is seeing and reacting, although you also do that when you don't have a hand or shoulder in the way protecting your noggin but also blocking your vision.
Maybe the wiggly snake dancing guy had a few sharpies in his shirt pocket or something and was trying to use those to help him deflect the saber? I don't know, there's simply not enough context. But that definitely looks like a sword based Darwin award just begging to happen.
I remember Systema from years back, it was advertised not just as a Russian martial art, but as something trained by Spetznaz as a hand-to-hand martial art. It didn't have all this HEMA sword fighting stuff associated with it. And yeah, it was just as bunk then too, relying on kind of quasi-mysticism to just prevent your foe from connecting with their attack, and causing them to inexplicitly fall over. Because you just pushed your fist into them, with no apparent technique, or because you moved your body away from their attack, causing you to "draw them in" and over extend, and then I guess just lose all bodily motor function and fall over. The more reasonable techniques are just things they poached from other tried and true systems to incorporate into their nonsense system to flesh it out. 16:42 Mikhail, shown here, was a big face in a lot of the representation I watched back then. He would always show how he could send a guy sliding across the mat with barely even any exertion in just his arm. Total bunk.
![[Live สด] การออกรางวัลสลากกินแบ่งรัฐบาล งวดวันที่ 16 พฤศจิกายน 2567](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/wPd7VFfWHIA/mqdefault.jpg)
There is an old army joke in Russia about all those "secret spetsnaz martial arts" :
To engage in hand-to-hand combat, a spetsnaz soldier must lose his assault rifle, pistol, knife, sapper blade, waist belt and helmet. Find a clean field with not a single stone or stick lying around. And enter into a tough fight with the goofball as incompetent as he is.
For the most part yes that's true, although the special forces branches of military would actually have the most possibility to end up in that sort of situation, it's just generally not gonna happen.
If your trading blows. You messed up
@NigmaSuperZo sword and shield, defend your people, don't strike anyone with your sword,, if your a Knight you would be intimate enough, I'm still trying to process power struggles and politak stuff
The Russian martial training also makes certain cultural assumptions, pain and injury endurance are as widely trained as attacking, apparently very little is in avoiding, deceiving, or retreating from harm. A Russian soldier is expected to attack, endure, or deflect and attack. But this means feints, and distance openers are ignored as an option generally, but that also features into their combat mindset, if their main weapon is lost, pistol is empty, don't fall back to reload or rearm, advance with your knife and keep going.
@@davehart1027 I hope you mean intimidating... intimate means something else ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
That looks like Grade A bullshido
If your teachers are out of shape, and look like they spend half their time at the pub. Better just do a 180 at the door.
99% vertainty this is just russians being hilarious while Americans and all their raging xenophobia take hilarious sarcastic memes and think "OMG THE FOREIGN ADVERSARY IS GENUINELY THIS INSANE!!!!"
@VikingTeddy or stay to have a great time getting drunk with people who love comedy. Ever been to Russia? Lovely people over there if youre a tourist. You may even end up in a meme video like this one, laughing your butt off.
@@nowayjosedaniel Never been unfortunately. But for like a decade, this Russian backpacker would show up in my city and play bagpipes on the street. He hitchiked from Vladivostok to St.Petersburg yearly and toured europe with no money.
He'd always find someone who'd let him crash, and when he didn't, he survived by piping on the streets and camping in the woods. Coolest dude I ever met.
Yup 👍 I just can’t stop laughing at how absolutely stupid this looks
What I love about demo's like these is they assume either the user has super speed or the attacker isnt gonna react
20th level fighter vs CR 1/8 bandit. He has 4 attacks per round so he can do all that nonsense.
Since I played a character with a Sandevistan* in Cyberpunk these instructions became much more relateable 😅
*From the players perspective: up to 80% time slow for your opponents while you move with normal speed;
from the NPCs perspektive: someone is moving really fast and mows down other people
100% needs super speed to pull off.
@Skallagrim you Canadians dont have superpowers yet either??? Dang no wonder everyone is talking about western empire in collapse.
@@Candlemancerpretty sure operator is a Wizard and coughed out the Haste on him, so it's actually 5 attacks... Also it's pretty obvious, that Rogue person is Staggered, possibly Confused too.😂
I'm always dodging strange and barely effective sword strikes by being an exceptionally jiggly boi
This gets my vote for best comment!
Russia exports jiggly boi memes while Americans take their xenophbia to such an extreme level that the memes become serious biznez ww3.
@@nowayjosedaniel That's a weird comment about Americans and xenophobia when I've seen you replying to multiple people with "You Americans", or "west bad" in some sort of variation.
Just pointing that out before I proceed to ignore you forever, I'd rather not turn Skall's comment section into a political shit slinging contest.
@@nowayjosedaniel a troll profile picture and all comments are troll opinions.. hilarious dude, hope you're happy with your career.
If you jiggle fast enough you become incorporeal.
The first clip looks like an A.I. interpretation of a sword fight.
AI Darth Maul: "You wanna swordfight me?"
that one guy from the judgement series “HA!”
The Skeletor "What?!" was perfectly timed.
''contactless'' fighting, proceeds to (weirdly) hug his opponent
If it's off by a single atom, it's contactless. Shame you Americans cant even see. What kind of standard vision do you have over there? Something as blind as 20/20?
It's not fighting, it's sexual assault at that point.
It's a perfectly normal hug where he is from. How dare you judge his culture.
Contactless fighting is an old meme in the Russian community. There were some schools that taught various esoteric techniques based on controlling the chi energy which can be used basically like the blood bending from Avatar the Last Airbender. The actual lore is pretty grim though, the masters would often abuse the students physically and emotionally to make them basically vegetables that would fall unconscious every time the master would raise his hand, making an illusion of their "technique" (aside from his friends who would play fake students when the school is still small).
In Russia the blade aligns you.
The irony of the accuracy.
"In Soviet Russia, art martials you!"
In Russia, CQC remembers the basics of you.
@@johntheknight3062 bruh lol
@@CursedLink666 The Wonder of You
Me going into the video: surely it can't be worse than log combat
Me after the video: it's worse than log combat
Log... combat...? Is this something I should know about?
@@angusmuir6180 "self defense" by... basically dropping a log on your unnaturally compliant atacker? Don't ask why you're being attacked while carrying around a log but not the axe you presumaby used to cut said log.
@@angusmuir6180Search for "Skallagrim log" and you get the answer.
I won't tell more about it because that's something you have to see yourself.
It's a video small reacted before of guy teaching how to hit a guy attacking with a sword while you are carrying a huge sword.
Title is fake sword combat ( skull loses it )
The video is quite a trip.
The wriggle dance sure is. The rest is surprisingly alright, for the most part.
1:40 “the defender does his seductive snake manoeuvre then…” 🤣🤣🤣
That first one looks like a bard and a swashbuckler in DnD tried to do a sword choreography perfomance, but both rolled a 1.
I'm not surprised this is tagged as Systema. Those of us who do unarmed martial arts all know it's bullshido. You could find something more effective from Master Ken.
Master Ken is a deliberate parody, these guys are serious. Ken wins.
Russian Grandmaster.
That's why I was so surprised to also see some reasonable techniques shown.
Master Ken is legit, the best of all, worst of none.
Looks like a good "systema" for an instructor to separate fools and their money.
-
edit: To clarify, I am referring to the 'wiggle defense'.
The other guy looks like a dark souls enemy getting parried and going "wooooah how'd you do that?"
Saw the wiggle in the thumbnail and immediately thought "this is gonna be systema bullshit, isn't it?"
"The enemy cannot use their sword, if you impale yourself on their sword"
I absolutely love the types of self-defense techniques that only work if the attacker is moving in slow-motion, while the "victim" is normal speed. Helps me train for the days my super-speed finally kicks in.
Until you fight someone else with superspeed.
Well said. It's utterly ridiculous. Childish mall ninja level nonsense.
Thank you so much for making the point that technique needs to be tested against people who don't also train in that technique, who don't know how it's expected to work, and who aren't invested in reinforcing what you think you know.
I feel like you generally dont want to rub your upperbody agains a sword
"use your ribcage as a contact area, don't let foe do a full strike"
Don't try to tell me how to live my life/die my death.
Jiggly bois unlock power levels you Americans cannot even imagine yet.
no kink shaming, bro, come on
But what if im really itchy during the fight. Like deathly itchy
The ultimate defense against a blade when you’re unarmed . . .
🏃 🏃 🏃
But everyone knows you run faster with a knife
@@Candlemancer so then just make sure you always carry two knives, so you can outrun an attacker with just one knife
@@Candlemancerand unlike running with scissors running with a knife is perfectly save 😄
I have an even more ingenious defense for if you're unarmed against a weapon...
arm yourself
@@lucasanderson1516 so true, a book, rolled up journal, a jacket, an umbrella, a chair, anything you can grab .. its funny that Jackie Chan movies even though its meant to be comedy and he did have to retry certain things several times is still more realistic and helpful than anything else you see trying to teach you self defense, because he uses the environment and gets beat up too, there is no "free" self defense with the risk of harm if someone is intend on harming you you have to be as fierce
Looks like something Steven Seagal would teach lmao.
Too much effort. :D
Steven Segal could do this sitting down!
@@fwiffo while downing bagels
Doesn’t he live in Russia now?
@@javierpatag3609 ok fine while eating Blini
I've used this defense many times in HEMA bouts, but the judges are biased against me!
Charitable take: In training sometimes we work on one aspect at a time. Example: A drill that is to train relaxed flowing motion may not be "effective" in any way but still may help you learn balance and relaxed movement without tension. The context you may not see doesn't make the video. Where the teacher explains that this is not a fighting technique but rather a training drill.
I train in Aikido and our sword practice is not at all the same as Kendo or Kenjutsu. This is because the purpose is to teach alignment, balance, extension & projecting power. It is said practice unarmed as if you have a weapon and weapons as if you are unarmed. Posture alignment, blending moving off the line of attack should be nearly identical either way.
Not just that, but Americans love to see anything Russia or China and their xenophobia goes off to such an extreme that they start assuming everyone ther re must be a ritraded ape and then take themselves as serious as ww3.
The problem with training a technique that is 'for balance' not actual combat is muscle memory, you are likely going to use it instinctually leaving you in a bad position
"I train in Aikido". . . You lost me there, you cannot drop a red flag that massive while talking about practices at martial arts.
This is worse than normal bullshido because sharp pointy things
Yup, the cost of failing to pull it off is a little higher...
Ahhh systema. Never fails to get a chuckle out of me.
NGL I read systerna, and my mind went to cisterna
That bunch of bullshido puts off big Detroit Urban Survival Tactics energy.
Give the rates of alcohol abuse in Russia, maybe the assumption is that one or both combatants are drunk out of their minds?
Vod ka jutsu?
That would certainly explain the attacker's incredibly bad balance.... :P
Okay cool, now compare to alcohol abuse in the states, especially among minors.
As a Russian guy myself I agree. These guys most likely had two too many shots of vodka.
@@weswolever7477lol
"How did we get here?!"
I dunno mate, I'm just along for the ride
The instant the blades touch, one of them completely ragdolls every time. Sometimes even bending their body to expose their neck and entirely looking away from their opponent. I think this strategy only works if your opponent is so intimidated by you, they assume they are going to lose from the beginning.
In anime, the winner of a duel is often determined in the stare-down before their blades are even drawn. In real-life tho... ehhh, not so much hehe! :P
Hey Skall, you might have minsunderstood thefirst clip there. The technique the guy with the saber uses is an russian saber technique meant to slice your opponent's nipple, which leaves him incapacitated and probably flabbergasted as well.
just seeing the thumbnail i knew it was systema, its uniquely ridiculous haha
Yes, I really see the Sagat side of the story, great scar if you live. Because if that is a real sabre, it’s pointy and SHARP, sabres are meant to slice after all.
Makes me think of an anecdote about the live-action Street Fighter movie, with Raul Julia. Apparently at first they trained and choreographed the fight scenes with the actors pretty much all using the same overall style. Until someone pointed out that was the opposite of the point with Street Fighter “The World Warriors.”
Skall, I havnt seen that *concern* meme in at least 10 years. Why are you unlocking memories?
As far as I know, Systema is based around rolling with the punches, so your hypothesis makes sense.
Which makes sense in case of unarmed attacks, although it's odd to put so much emphasis on it. Normally it's a way to mitigate damage when your defense has already failed... to use it as seemingly the primary defense doesn't compute in my brain.
@@Skallagrim The guy I've trained under since 2002 is certified to teach Systema under Vladimir Vasiliev (the Spetsnaz one, not the ballet one), who I've met, moved with, and have heard a lot more about from my instructor. Now at the school I train at, my instructor doesn't teach direct Systema, but at times will talk about incorporating it into close-quarters fighting, usually in BJJ, trapping, and close-range knife/pistol (using, not defending against).
The hypothesis on "rolling with the punches" is a pretty accurate take on the general application of the stuff as we've been adapting it. It's a lot about moving with force in odd ways similar to Aikido or in some cases visually, maybe even drunken boxing. Most of the time whenever we work it in (which isn't often, admittedly), it's in the guise of grappling, not dealing with an incoming strike. Imagine someone trying to grapple with your shoulder or shirt collar and shrugging them closer to you with a limp shoulder roll vs digging in and tying up directly. The result isn't going to be someone magically falling over like their bones disappeared, but if they're expecting you to meet force with force and you momentarily fold, you can probably get him to stumble forward a step where you can leave something hard like a knee, elbow, or the top of your head in the path of their much softer, squishier parts.
Unfortunately, the allure of "Top Secret Foreign Special Forces Fighting System that the US Government Tried to Steal" coupled with the various practitioners who brought it over to the west kind of created this kind of Jeet Kune Do situation where certain people have claims over what the "Real Systema" is and how much that can be marketed, now you've got stuff like "Healing Punches" or whatever that's supposed to mean. At this point, the small handful of popular videos/gifs have just made it the butt of of most "bullshido" forums.
@@Skallagrim I have also been trained in Systema, that was following the Ryabko school for 4 years. And yes there were also alot of teacher around, that had their own "versions" and were very vocal about, coming up with large variety of moveset, that were realy head scratching.
What I learned and still remember to this day is, that it taught me proper body movement, posture(mine was terrible when I started), feeling of strengh - as weird as it sounds, but basicaly hit soft with hard, hit hard with soft (soft on soft does nothing, hard on hard - you will likely get yourself injured or break bones), what we focused on was movement, reading of oponent, being able to relax, redirection of force and using it againts your oponent, using as little strength for maximum effect, submissions, control of opponent, grabling, how to get out of these situations too and general agility more than just brute strength, punches, kicks etc.
It is a System afterall, it should cover all aspects. Including training with weapons, unarmed, improvised weapon (whatever you find in your pockets). Multiple opponents (this was realy hard, and what we learned was, that people would mostly just freeze or get stuck, and had no idea what to do, they would shut down and get overwhelmed, even though that training may seem pointless, what it did teach is,,move move move, even if that defense may be suboptimal, it is better that just freezing in place and getting yourself killed).
Another thing I got out of it is I learned how to be calm, even when in stressful situation, reading movement of people and general geometry of ones body (weakpoints, locks, throwing somebody out of balance etc.) It is not perfect and even my teacher told me, in order to make this practical in full, go and learn other martial arts, not just to complement the foundation from systema, but it can also provide you with broad overview of what works and what doesn't for you which I think was generaly a good mindset to have.
systema is based around rolling out your braincells
Wasn't the initial intended application of systema surviving interrogation? (Not 100% sure if I rember that right.)
I remember watching a sensei seth video a couple years ago where he tried systema and his conclusion was that it was a good exercise to complement other martial arts since it helps you relax your body
but also that systema is not particularly useful by itself.
On the same level then synchronized artistic swimming then, nice!
... As a fighting style, not as an artistic expression or physical exercise. Synchronized swimming has systema beat in those two fields.
@@Jossandoval I don't know, you should probably see the video for yourself if you have nothing better to do.
"Contactless". It's about flipping telekinetic powers
I'm so happy you mentioned the Jim Carey on SNL bit, because that was the first thing I thought when I saw that ridiculous snake thing.
I get a feeling the flat slapping is to prevent injury, I know that's been a thing in history across many cultures
i love your tiny gauntlet cursor its so awesome
I do miss using custom cursors, sometimes.
Just like Steven "I will sit on chair now" Seagal.
That wiggle-jiggle video totally reminded me of some bunk martial arts video from a few years ago. The sensei of a dojo claimed to have a "perfect ki defense" that was so great no one could even land a punch on him -- he had all these videos showing this, as his students came at him and completely whiffed as the sensei used his "ki" to casually evade their strike, usually followed by him doing some hand wave Naruto "ki" thing that caused the students to literally go flying. A real martial artist signed up for his class, pretending to have no skill, and promptly KO'd the sensei in their first sparring, because "ki" isn't a real thing if you're not in an anime -- which pretty much ended all the hype around him :P
Puts me in mind of another black belt who also claimed to use this power. When his students could see him do his trick, they fell over. When they couldn't see him, nothing happened.
Of course, he had a rationalization, but it was one that made his supposed super-power useless: the slightest change in the target could negate his energy. Moving the tongue, or twitching a toe, or shifting weight. We move _all the time_ in some way or another (and I don't mean breathing or heartbeat). {As I type this, I am suddenly aware of my blinking and other movements.}
@@julietfischer5056 There's lots of other things that you become very aware of when pointed out too, that you usually don't think about.
Like how your breathing is now manual, rather than automatic, because now you're thinking about it.
@@Darca1n- Or you're aware that you're breathing and some dumb little part of you decides that the cue to hold your breath so now you have to think about it.
He was wearing that sexy chainmail shirt he borrowed from Frodo
"Mithril..."
~Dwarf whose name I've forgot
These are my favorite style of video besides reviews! Reacting to sparring and providing good insight is great.
The quintessential bullshido move is: "you overcommit to a strike and then I counter". Anybody who tries to show off by doing this is immediately suspect.
Attacker should be unfamiliar with a concept of using tools for this to work, not only weapons
It’s cool how the guy demonstrating the technique gets 3+ moves for every 1 his opponent gets.
I.E. “This is how The Flash/Spider-Man kicks your ass.”
Another great lesson. As much as I dislike reaction videos (which is the category I would put this in) your insights are priceless. Do not open your defense by ridiculing the opponent. And most of all: honor and respect him. That is the lesson to be taken from this vid. Bows to you, sir.
*wiggles across the blade and takes you down while my torso is sliding into two separate pieces*
When the master's ego is greater than his skill, his legacy remains a full cemetery; he just knows the names on the graves.
Ah yes, the ol' "I have unlimited action points per turn versus your one action point". AKA the Flash Delusion.
I'm just an observer of sword arts... the arm position and edge of the Saber the kid's holding against Mr Bushido, he'd also likely have lost his head, or at least had his throat slit/ deep gouge with diagonal upward slash, I mean... like... the Saber is right under his chin😵🙄
Yeah, I also have no experience with a sword but I feel like instead of continuing with the thrust/draw cut? that he got going he could just swing his arm to the right to do a cut at the other guys chest or head/neck.
Id like to see a video of a smallsword parring ridicoulus weapons (like a great sword, or two hand axe)!!! Hope said its possible !!!
They're probably striking with the flats for safety reasons. I mean they're clearly using steel weapons and there isn't single piece of protective gear in sight in most of these clips. Even if the edges are dull you could still easily fracture bone if you strike with the edge or spine.
"What would be your Street Fighter theme song?"
"Snoop Dogg's Wiggle, of course."
I will just throw a pommel
new bard technique: The seductive dodge
These techniques work if your opponent drops their controller.
Aikido by saber wielding wodka cossacks?
I bet he kills it on the dance floor though.
My first thought was "maybe this is some kind of training for if you have armor?"
But then I wondered why they weren't training in armor.
As a russian i'm amused😀. How about to make video about russian slapping contests?
It was hilarious listening to him try to be diplomatic about the first clip!
Probably giving them more credit than is deserved, but the striking with the flat may be a safety convention for sparring/demonstration in this system. Doesn't necessarily seem like a good idea from a development of muscle memory point of view, but it's the only way I can think of that it could make sense. I don't know how consistently they did that in the videos.
I was thinking that as a “gotcha” possibility too. If the swords are blunted though, you might as well just tap with the edge.
Ah yes, let me deflect this sword with the body part that contains most of my vital organs...
😃👍
Absolutely! 😆🤣
"Igor, stop that blade!"
"Instructions unclear" *takes off enemy weapon by jumping on blade and turning himself into the pin cushion*
LMFAO - doing this will get your johnson cut off
It's the "cock-block" technique.
If you're LUCKY. If you're unlucky, you get disemboweled.
whats with Russian martial arts and the "contactless" bs. They already did it in systema that was popular like 10-15 years ago where guy in the video was always barely touching people who fell down for no reason
Like imagine if the guy with the sabre did what the hero in Deluge movie did in the duel. no chance of any of this
A variation of the other kind of Russian martial arts video where practitioners demonstrate how hardcore they and their techniques are by practising with live blades?
Seems like propaganda to me. "Russian military is so strong, they don't even need to block!"
@budgetcommander4849 It's amazing that american xenophobia is so intense, and you guys propagandized to such an insane degree, that anytime you see Russia or China do anything, you assume it cant be a fun meme or some out of context video - but a full throttle deeply serious religious belief from mentally handicapped subhuman ape foreigners who dont know how the most basic components of real life work.
Occams Razor dude. What is more likely?
1.) Everyone too foreign from you is a suicidal subhuman ape who doesnt know how anything works
2.) Theyre the same as any other human, except you're so propagandized that you cant see straight.
Well these people make money out of it, presenting this bullshit as patriotic activity for youth and either getting govt backing or fools who pay to be taught that crap.
We have Sambo for real people though.
21:10 - don’t know how true it is, but I’ve heard something similar said about chess; sometimes grand masters find it trickier to play against newcomers to the game than players with moderate or more competency precisely because the novice hasn’t learnt that you’re ‘supposed’ to react to move X with move Y and don’t fall for traps that more experienced players would because they don’t even realise there was bait there they were supposed to take, and in general are more unpredictable in how they play. Doesn’t necessarily mean they stand a chance against a grand master, and said master would probably still wipe the floor with them quickly.
"parry it with the spine. the spine of the blade, not your own spine!" ah ... I really should start watching the whole thing before executing instructions, huh?
Speaking of machete, i found a very nsfw video on reddit some times ago, where some douches, both armed with machetes, stares and shout at each other for a while, then when they start whacking they end up in a brawl that last 5 second, one of the dude fall, get up and pick up his hand from the ground before walking away.
The other see the scene while walking away in the other direction and check if he still has both hands.
Real blade fights are not really forgiving.
GM: A guy attacks you with a sword *rolls d20* he hits. What do you do?
Player: I block the attack with my ribs!
I'm reminded of a story about my husband back in his Navy days. He was on leave and just bought a magazine and was heading out to dinner. He passes an alley that a guy jumps out with a knife and stabs him. Due to the magazine in his jumper, the blade deflects then gets stuck in the fabric. See Reply for continued
Rest of the story, fast forward to the police showing up to my husband having the assailant on the ground and he's kicking his ribs in. They're about to arrest him, but he turns to where they can see the knife still stuck in his uniform. They immediately reassess and asked if he was alright...he was pissed because he had to get the jumper repaired or replaced
Lol have you never seen this before? you should see his neck vs knife defence. It's like someone used kung pow as an instructional movie.
This is a traditional Russian Mating Dance. These two have four sons together.
Hey man! You are looking pretty slimed down! As someone who has been strugggggling with weight loss, just wanted to say great job! Even if it's unintentional, your looking great!.
I think the movements might make sense if we imagine the left huy in full plate armour and the other guy in just a simple tunic or light gambeson, and the armoured guy has the intention to not kill his opponent.
In that scenario the left guy should be absolutely fine with getting a single cut or thrust, and it would explain the very defensive counterattacks. The question is though: Why doesn't he just punch the unarmoured guy in the face with his gauntlet and call it a day?
Yeah in that scenario you don't need any fancy technique, just walk through the attack and backhand the guy with your gauntleted fist.
That blade looks like a Cossack saber. Given how much Cossacks love swordplay and how much it is a part of their culture, I can only imagine this guy is exiled from whatever city or village he is originally from. Flankirovka might be impractical, but unlike whatever that was, it's not meant to be practical, and it actually has some vague connection to real combat use
Its been a while man. I know you had a big weight loss journey, your looking good! Good job man.
Looked more like dancing at some point rather then martial arts, this was very funny.
You need to see the Russian Grandmaster. You just need to. Trust me.
ah yes, famous russian cosplay tin-slapping, looks like they never grown out of the 90s, in a lot of senses
nah all these bullshidoes already died in Russia, even videos that Skall shows have really shitty quality
Easy when everything is in slow motion and the other dude is more dubmissive than a ragdoll cat.
Did you mean to spell it with a 'd' or did you miss the 's'? ('Dubmissive' makes your comment even funnier.)
Russian masters taught people the legendary snake saber dodge in effort to shorten the bread lines.
there's a martial art I heard about in my teens but I've never been able to track down that basically says "human's aren't predators, learn to use everything as a weapon". So for a long time I've found martial arts fairly useless unless they're intended as a form of personal growth/exercise.
Makes me think of Quicksilver in the best X-Men movie. If the world is moving in slow motion compared to you, you can do anything you want. (Humming "If I could save time in a bottle...")
I found this video to be very calming and heartwarming
0:49 It reminded me of "I have seen everything that has ever happened... ever will happen... ever could happen... and yet... WHAT THE F*CK!?!?"
Bro trying to steal taichi's homework and changed it a bit and expecting it to be super effective
Reminds me of that gunkata from that one movie I can't remember. There's a series of predictable movements and firing maneuvers that can be countered by moving very specially to dodge all the gunfire. Or something. Ahahahaaa.
These moves may work if your opponent is blackout drunk... and in Russia he most likely is
My sword defense is bullets.
Russian combat theory dictates that there are no wrong techniques, only men to weak to do them. Throw enough men at it and someone will eventually come out with survivorship bias and vouch for it. See also every war they have ever fought.
Edit: Boxing is a lot more about moving off-line for the opponent so they have to correct before retaliating than it is about seeing it coming. Thats anticipating the opponents options and being where they won't land more than it is seeing and reacting, although you also do that when you don't have a hand or shoulder in the way protecting your noggin but also blocking your vision.
The Zerg Rush defense.
SKALLS FOR THE SKALLGORITHUM
Maybe the wiggly snake dancing guy had a few sharpies in his shirt pocket or something and was trying to use those to help him deflect the saber? I don't know, there's simply not enough context. But that definitely looks like a sword based Darwin award just begging to happen.
You always know how to make good content!
Way to play this one straight, good stuff.
Loving the badger badger meme at the start.
Good content one of my favorite- one day I gonna move to Canada
My face to your blade style
I was waiting for this. The moment I saw it I thought of Skall taking the piss out of it.
The moment you said it was Systema I started cackling like a madman, you have no clue how deep the rabbit hole goes
I remember Systema from years back, it was advertised not just as a Russian martial art, but as something trained by Spetznaz as a hand-to-hand martial art. It didn't have all this HEMA sword fighting stuff associated with it. And yeah, it was just as bunk then too, relying on kind of quasi-mysticism to just prevent your foe from connecting with their attack, and causing them to inexplicitly fall over. Because you just pushed your fist into them, with no apparent technique, or because you moved your body away from their attack, causing you to "draw them in" and over extend, and then I guess just lose all bodily motor function and fall over.
The more reasonable techniques are just things they poached from other tried and true systems to incorporate into their nonsense system to flesh it out. 16:42 Mikhail, shown here, was a big face in a lot of the representation I watched back then. He would always show how he could send a guy sliding across the mat with barely even any exertion in just his arm. Total bunk.