Mine is grief and resentment. I had a father who abandoned us w30 years ago now 3 months ago my mum has done the same so I’m in the anger stage of grieving and carrying unhealthy resentment towards those who have parents who love the unconditionally- so yes grief, anger and resentment - im on edge pretty much from when when I wake up right now. Thank you for this video - I’ve only just found your channel 🙏
I was alarmed to realize, quite late how impatient, irritable, and angry I could be with myself. I gradually say it in my relationships with others too and a cause of much of my misery. This explanation of yours has been very comprehensive. In the meantime, I have been trying to work on Self Care and Kindness. I am truly born to be my own closest friend and need my connection to others to support me too. But this basic relationship is really the most important. I wish it to us all,
Thanks for this thought provoking vdo. My state of constant anger is due to a sense of powerlessness coming from a difficult marriage, childhood emotional neglect n a child who has gone silent n uncommunicative. I am very duty conscious n always do my best. But my best just doesn't seem good enough. That too makes me angry.
This video made me cry. I have been noticing for months that my anger has been more frequent and it's affecting my relationships with friends and family. It was also one of the reasons my ex left me. I had trouble accepting that a combination of depression and my dad's way of managing anger is why I'm this way. When you mentioned that we can learn how to cope with anger through our parents, I cried. I feel like I am heard. I am going to work so hard using CBT and other methods to lower that anger level, and help me grieve. Thank you very much.
I was definitely in denial I was repressing anger until I watched this. It's interesting to know I am powerful and fear the aggression and fight response that is wired along with my experience of anger. The uncoupling of anger from action allowed me to access the more helpful and compelling life force ultimately looking for a constructive greenlight. Great video!
Great video. I am generally not an angry person but I have a long term friend with whom I sometimes feel anger. She knows that it is painful for me to walk but continues to tell me about the long walks she enjoys. I have spoken to her about this but she is unwilling to change. There are many lovely aspects about her and she does care about me so, since I cannot change her, I suppose I need to change my story line. I am only hurting myself by feeling anger. This video was important to me. Thank you.
Great video. My anger has landed me in the hospital with stomach issues several times, two days ago just got out. I am desperate to feel secure, heard, and respected. The anger is literally killing me.
Hi Beth: I wonder if any of these techniques might be helpful - like going under the anger to... (for me it would probably be sadness and powerlessness if I'm continually not heard? But acknowledging those for me might lead me to different actions?)
this is helpful, thank you. I seem to be one of the it's not fair people. I had a fairly normal and then pretty traumatic childhood with substance abuse and some violence, have been through homelessness, mental illness, poverty, job difficulties etc. in my early 60 now as I am single with no children or family of my own, and I don't understand why other people get to have what I can't have. a lot of times it just feels unfair and intellectually I know that life is unfair I understand that but I don't like it and I feel like I deserve some things because I have tried to contribute throughout my life and be a good person. I'm able to support myself now I have a functional job and all that but I am not happy and this is not the life that I wanted. the isolation of the pandemic has aggravated a lot of this. so I walk around with a low-grade irritability most of the time. I haven't really known what to do with it but I'll try to listen to more of this and get to the bottom of this irritability and anger. thank you.
Thank you so much the recommendation came today at the right time.... I so happen to be angry a lot too and its always passive and feel loss of control on my life
You hit the nail on the head. Constant stress for years on top of horrible abusive childhood. Loss of cheating spouse, followed by car wreck causing TBI, PTSD. An abusive and dysfunctional family with no support, loss job due to injuries, loss house, son died after having Covid in 2021. The list reads like a nightmare. I hate myself and my life. Some of us are born to suffer. Mad at self, the world and GOD. I only survive. I resent the fact I am alive. Therapy not worked, drugs not worked, you name it I’ve done it to get better. Thrown myself at the feet of GOD. Oh, to top it off, I married the ‘perfect man’ a couple of years ago. Friends and family thought he was great also. The narcissistic low down pile of crap started abusing me in every way possible as soon as ring on my finger. Escaped after 1 year. I’m I stupid or what??! Not trying to get sympathy or poor pitiful me. I’m pathetic. Life sucks. Don’t have the guts to end it. I have never had the luxury of having the time to grieve and heal from one assault before the next one happens. Regardless of the onslaught of disasters I still have days I think I can heal from it all. I’m a joke. I’m the person that causes therapists to have nightmares. Yeah, today, I’m full of resentment, full of pain, full of anger. Feel like an animal in a cage with everyone poking at me. That’s my life.
I realized that some kind of a paranoid issue on me is getting me angry. After a couple of situations from My two previous Jobs where I suffer some kind of a bullying from My introverted personality. Made me an extreme thinker Over thinking. But also I am reading a book called "quite" by Susan Caín and seems people worship extroverts and reject introverts
Powerlessness, it's not fair, I've no idea how to even express nevermind not suck anger like a sponge. When I wasn't being abused there's neglect. And there's 40 years from psychiatric prescription sedation sedation. I withdrew of long term high dose benzos. I'm not even here. Angry? The medical field keeps claiming "I don't know what to do for you " I believe I wss brainwashed to kill myself. Angry? I'm only just realizing my siblings were brainwashed to treat me like crap too? My therapist left a text of termination? Holiday time. After 12 years, twice a week? Yeah that's fairly accurate. I beat on myself not others, except there's audio that I'm alone. No surprise. Been realizing I'm repeating patterns too. No wonder I stayed so wasted. Yes, one of the 'beat in mes'. I dissociate too so I'm not here very much either. Here's something you all can feel grateful for. Have a good day
Yes i have resentment towards God and his hallelujah teaching in general. The fact that i didn"t get to choose whether i want to be born into this world or not. And in the process of livibg in this world have to deal with neglectful self-absorbed parents and therefore have to deal with the anger, resentment, grief etc. Something that I don't need to deal with if I have an option in the first place whether or not I want to be born into this world or not. I mean, if He has problem with Satan, why did He need to drag me/us human to get involve in this whole redemption story of His. He should just settle the matter between Him and Satan. I see God as someone who is narcisstic, thirsty of power and therefore need us human to exalt Him all the time. I might offend ppl with my comment, I am sorry but I'm just trying to share what is truly in my heart.
Hi Barbara, Love the channel. I am angry a lot these days last few months, years even. I guess it has a lot to do with alcohol. The ups and downs. I just wanted to know if you have or will have a video on addiction, and how to deal with that inner voice, and anger you have about stopping your drug of choice, and feel the abandonment you feel from stopping using your drug ( alcohol of coarse) and the emptiness felt after wards. Thank you again for all your time. 😊
I have not yet released videos on addiction, but probably will one day, so I appreciate your questions. Your questions are quite deep and the answers aren't easy! I am actually a fan of AA, and think it is incredibly helpful. I know many people object to certain parts of it. There is also a support group called Sober Recovery. Support is needed and I believe really helps with the questions you are struggling with. I do wish you all the best!
WOW 🥺 spot on with all 3 "trigger's" as to WHY im continually pissed off!!!! Wow 🤔🙄 really thought provoking! Powerless for NOW but 🤔🕵️♂️ not for long!
4:46 Good points. However, gang stalkers BREAK AND ENTER homes, vehicles, relationships, and all aspects of "their" target's LIFE. Solutions for this REQUIRE that laws be upheld and corrupt enablers see consequences.
Thank you, not many are willing to discuss this (infamous) emotion as we seem to have a social antipathy to anger. Fear of it and shame for feeling it, leading to an angry /depressed pendulum. Yet I think the modern world is an angry (violent, destructive) culture. Is there anything good about it?
I'm talking about you you're just as worse when it comes down to anger and you know it that's why you do the things you do to me it's for no reason all the time is for no reason at all
I go through phases where anger is the chronic and dominant emotion….and it’s because of grief over dealing with new chronic pain and illness that I struggle with adapting to I think that would make anyone angry And I really don’t think much can be done about this…except acceptance Which I can’t really afford to do all the way….as an example I refuse to give up my career or slow down because it’s part of my identity although it makes my health worse. Any ideas?
SO sorry to hear about your chronic pain. And yes, it would make anyone angry. I think it just comes down to whether the anger is helpful or destructive, and if its destructive, maybe there is another option?. Btw, I totally understand the not giving up your career (I would feel the same!)
Barbara could u help me - as a adhd person i struggle with starting the tasks/study habit which is most important thing at present for me but i don't know if its fear of failure or lack of practice or something which most of the times leave me stuck in the situation, analysis paralysis, preventing from progressing further in my life & career.. what would be a solution for it..
Hi Mohib: People with ADHD DO have trouble starting with tasks that are important... don't criticize yourself - it truly is more difficult for people with ADHD than for those without. Setting up a system of accountability (with a coach if possible, or a friend or group, setting up a reward system for yourself, setting a timer)... Medication does help many people with ADHD. I don't have videos on this, but I REALLY like this channel: th-cam.com/users/HowtoADHD
Mine is grief and resentment. I had a father who abandoned us w30 years ago now 3 months ago my mum has done the same so I’m in the anger stage of grieving and carrying unhealthy resentment towards those who have parents who love the unconditionally- so yes grief, anger and resentment - im on edge pretty much from when when I wake up right now. Thank you for this video - I’ve only just found your channel 🙏
So sorry to hear this... so painful. Welcome to the channel. I hope it is helpful, and I wish you health and healing...
@@BarbaraHeffernan Thank you. I'm really appreciating the content you are sharing. So helpful :)
I was alarmed to realize, quite late how impatient, irritable, and angry I could be with myself. I gradually say it in my relationships with others too and a cause of much of my misery. This explanation of yours has been very comprehensive. In the meantime, I have been trying to work on Self Care and Kindness. I am truly born to be my own closest friend and need my connection to others to support me too. But this basic relationship is really the most important. I wish it to us all,
Thanks for this thought provoking vdo. My state of constant anger is due to a sense of powerlessness coming from a difficult marriage, childhood emotional neglect n a child who has gone silent n uncommunicative. I am very duty conscious n always do my best. But my best just doesn't seem good enough. That too makes me angry.
This video made me cry. I have been noticing for months that my anger has been more frequent and it's affecting my relationships with friends and family. It was also one of the reasons my ex left me. I had trouble accepting that a combination of depression and my dad's way of managing anger is why I'm this way. When you mentioned that we can learn how to cope with anger through our parents, I cried. I feel like I am heard. I am going to work so hard using CBT and other methods to lower that anger level, and help me grieve. Thank you very much.
Thank you So Much❤
I was definitely in denial I was repressing anger until I watched this. It's interesting to know I am powerful and fear the aggression and fight response that is wired along with my experience of anger. The uncoupling of anger from action allowed me to access the more helpful and compelling life force ultimately looking for a constructive greenlight. Great video!
I am SO happy to hear this! How awesome!
Great video. I am generally not an angry person but I have a long term friend with whom I sometimes feel anger. She knows that it is painful for me to walk but continues to tell me about the long walks she enjoys. I have spoken to her about this but she is unwilling to change. There are many lovely aspects about her and she does care about me so, since I cannot change her, I suppose I need to change my story line. I am only hurting myself by feeling anger. This video was important to me. Thank you.
SO pleased this was helpful!
Yes I live with people who constantly press my buttons ,I have both AUTISM and Adhd so must of the time I get angry, annoyed I have meltdowns.
Great video. My anger has landed me in the hospital with stomach issues several times, two days ago just got out. I am desperate to feel secure, heard, and respected. The anger is literally killing me.
Hi Beth: I wonder if any of these techniques might be helpful - like going under the anger to... (for me it would probably be sadness and powerlessness if I'm continually not heard? But acknowledging those for me might lead me to different actions?)
Run Beth, Run! If you can't run then walk. Start an exercise routine. It will change your life. 😉
this is helpful, thank you. I seem to be one of the it's not fair people. I had a fairly normal and then pretty traumatic childhood with substance abuse and some violence, have been through homelessness, mental illness, poverty, job difficulties etc. in my early 60 now as I am single with no children or family of my own, and I don't understand why other people get to have what I can't have. a lot of times it just feels unfair and intellectually I know that life is unfair I understand that but I don't like it and I feel like I deserve some things because I have tried to contribute throughout my life and be a good person. I'm able to support myself now I have a functional job and all that but I am not happy and this is not the life that I wanted. the isolation of the pandemic has aggravated a lot of this. so I walk around with a low-grade irritability most of the time. I haven't really known what to do with it but I'll try to listen to more of this and get to the bottom of this irritability and anger. thank you.
I am glad you commented, and I relate to what you have said. I wish us both some traction on this issue.
This was incredible! Thank you. My first time being exposed to the topic. Thanks. It helped me!
Thanks,anger is my problem
I hope this is helpful!
Thank you so much the recommendation came today at the right time.... I so happen to be angry a lot too and its always passive and feel loss of control on my life
Sorry to hear that, of course, but glad this came at the right time!
Excellent video Barbara! As always, excellent content!
Thank you! Your videos are always very informative and helpful. You have the gift to explain in a simple and profound way at the same time. !
You are so welcome! I appreciate your letting me know!
I SO Struggled with this and I KNOW it is because of my Childhood Wounds!! UGH!!
So sorry to hear that... though it sounds like the healing is underway!
You hit the nail on the head. Constant stress for years on top of horrible abusive childhood. Loss of cheating spouse, followed by car wreck causing TBI, PTSD. An abusive and dysfunctional family with no support, loss job due to injuries, loss house, son died after having Covid in 2021. The list reads like a nightmare. I hate myself and my life. Some of us are born to suffer. Mad at self, the world and GOD. I only survive. I resent the fact I am alive. Therapy not worked, drugs not worked, you name it I’ve done it to get better. Thrown myself at the feet of GOD. Oh, to top it off, I married the ‘perfect man’ a couple of years ago. Friends and family thought he was great also. The narcissistic low down pile of crap started abusing me in every way possible as soon as ring on my finger. Escaped after 1 year. I’m I stupid or what??! Not trying to get sympathy or poor pitiful me. I’m pathetic. Life sucks. Don’t have the guts to end it. I have never had the luxury of having the time to grieve and heal from one assault before the next one happens. Regardless of the onslaught of disasters I still have days I think I can heal from it all. I’m a joke. I’m the person that causes therapists to have nightmares. Yeah, today, I’m full of resentment, full of pain, full of anger. Feel like an animal in a cage with everyone poking at me. That’s my life.
A pleasure to meet you,.. looing forward to more vids..
Welcome to the channel :)
A lot of helpful information, especially the techniques to release the stress and realising the underlying issues.
So glad it resonated with you!
Very insightful and very very covered different reasons for anger. Thank you!
You are welcome!
Thank you so much, very helpful insights and tools! Thank you!
You are so welcome!
Thanks Barbara, very helpful as always!
You are welcome Graham!
Excellent video. So clear and concise. Really helpful - many thanks.
Thank you so much for saying so!
I realized that some kind of a paranoid issue on me is getting me angry. After a couple of situations from My two previous Jobs where I suffer some kind of a bullying from My introverted personality. Made me an extreme thinker Over thinking. But also I am reading a book called "quite" by Susan Caín and seems people worship extroverts and reject introverts
Sorry to hear of the bullying.... yes, the world can be hard on introverts. I've heard that is a good book!
Powerlessness, it's not fair, I've no idea how to even express nevermind not suck anger like a sponge. When I wasn't being abused there's neglect. And there's 40 years from psychiatric prescription sedation sedation. I withdrew of long term high dose benzos. I'm not even here. Angry? The medical field keeps claiming "I don't know what to do for you " I believe I wss brainwashed to kill myself. Angry? I'm only just realizing my siblings were brainwashed to treat me like crap too? My therapist left a text of termination? Holiday time. After 12 years, twice a week? Yeah that's fairly accurate. I beat on myself not others, except there's audio that I'm alone. No surprise. Been realizing I'm repeating patterns too. No wonder I stayed so wasted. Yes, one of the 'beat in mes'. I dissociate too so I'm not here very much either. Here's something you all can feel grateful for. Have a good day
Yes i have resentment towards God and his hallelujah teaching in general. The fact that i didn"t get to choose whether i want to be born into this world or not. And in the process of livibg in this world have to deal with neglectful self-absorbed parents and therefore have to deal with the anger, resentment, grief etc. Something that I don't need to deal with if I have an option in the first place whether or not I want to be born into this world or not. I mean, if He has problem with Satan, why did He need to drag me/us human to get involve in this whole redemption story of His. He should just settle the matter between Him and Satan. I see God as someone who is narcisstic, thirsty of power and therefore need us human to exalt Him all the time. I might offend ppl with my comment, I am sorry but I'm just trying to share what is truly in my heart.
Thanks I'm pretty mental
Hi Barbara, Love the channel. I am angry a lot these days last few months, years even. I guess it has a lot to do with alcohol. The ups and downs. I just wanted to know if you have or will have a video on addiction, and how to deal with that inner voice, and anger you have about stopping your drug of choice, and feel the abandonment you feel from stopping using your drug ( alcohol of coarse) and the emptiness felt after wards.
Thank you again for all your time. 😊
I have not yet released videos on addiction, but probably will one day, so I appreciate your questions. Your questions are quite deep and the answers aren't easy! I am actually a fan of AA, and think it is incredibly helpful. I know many people object to certain parts of it. There is also a support group called Sober Recovery. Support is needed and I believe really helps with the questions you are struggling with. I do wish you all the best!
Great as usual...on target.
Thank you 🤗
Fantastic!!
Thank you! wishing you all the best!
WOW 🥺 spot on with all 3 "trigger's" as to WHY im continually pissed off!!!!
Wow 🤔🙄 really thought provoking!
Powerless for NOW but 🤔🕵️♂️ not for long!
LOVE your last line! Both sorry and glad that it hit home 😬! Also, I do have a video on Powerlessness: th-cam.com/video/tl9kjjFq4sI/w-d-xo.html
Amazing video ,can u make a video on how to deal with confusing ,intrusive thought
4:46 Good points. However, gang stalkers BREAK AND ENTER homes, vehicles, relationships, and all aspects of "their" target's LIFE. Solutions for this REQUIRE that laws be upheld and corrupt enablers see consequences.
Thank you, not many are willing to discuss this (infamous) emotion as we seem to have a social antipathy to anger. Fear of it and shame for feeling it, leading to an angry /depressed pendulum. Yet I think the modern world is an angry (violent, destructive) culture. Is there anything good about it?
I'm talking about you you're just as worse when it comes down to anger and you know it that's why you do the things you do to me it's for no reason all the time is for no reason at all
I havr anxiety all the time and anger is always bubbling under the surface and I can go from 0 - 100 in a second. It makes me want to die
I live alone but I still get angry sometimes, can be cortisol or hormones? I don't have empathy so I don't care about other
I go through phases where anger is the chronic and dominant emotion….and it’s because of grief over dealing with new chronic pain and illness that I struggle with adapting to
I think that would make anyone angry
And I really don’t think much can be done about this…except acceptance
Which I can’t really afford to do all the way….as an example I refuse to give up my career or slow down because it’s part of my identity although it makes my health worse.
Any ideas?
I understand that. I get migraines. My goto is anger
@@Amy-fr7cw have you found anything useful to help with that anger pain response
SO sorry to hear about your chronic pain. And yes, it would make anyone angry. I think it just comes down to whether the anger is helpful or destructive, and if its destructive, maybe there is another option?. Btw, I totally understand the not giving up your career (I would feel the same!)
Barbara could u help me - as a adhd person i struggle with starting the tasks/study habit which is most important thing at present for me but i don't know if its fear of failure or lack of practice or something which most of the times leave me stuck in the situation, analysis paralysis, preventing from progressing further in my life & career.. what would be a solution for it..
Hi Mohib: People with ADHD DO have trouble starting with tasks that are important... don't criticize yourself - it truly is more difficult for people with ADHD than for those without. Setting up a system of accountability (with a coach if possible, or a friend or group, setting up a reward system for yourself, setting a timer)... Medication does help many people with ADHD. I don't have videos on this, but I REALLY like this channel: th-cam.com/users/HowtoADHD
Thank you ,i cant find the pdt can you please srnd me thank you
Links are in description to video - easier to find on PC than phone. But here is the link: awakenjoy.lpages.co/negative-core-beliefs-pdf/