i was really worried when i saw the title, i thought she was going through this herself, and it kind made me realise how much i care about her even though i've never met her
I keep coming back to this video. People guilt me for cutting ties, but they really hurt me and I needed to do it. They still come back to hurt me later through telling other people my weaknesses.
Samah Amara I completely forgot about this comment to be honest. Thank you all for the well wishes, I am MUCH better now. This made me chuckle, I didn’t realize.. I named myself this now because I feel so cozy and safe in sweatshirts. They are my go to when I don’t feel confident or when I want to be comfortable. I find it now extremely ironic. It wasn’t my name at the time. this was a good revisit :)
i'm cutting ties with my best friend who ghosted me during one of the most difficult moments of my life and when i wrote her a long text explaining exactly how her ignoring me (but keeping contact with everyone else) has made me feel- she wrote back saying she was depressed and doesn't want her friendship to end and that she will always be there for me but can't tell me when she can reply to my messages again (which is so hypocritical - i don't understand) Reading her text made me feel bad and I told her I would wait until she was ready to talk but after a while I thought about it and I didn't understand why I was trying to make her feel better when she hurt me to begin with- so I immediately unfriended her and unfollowed her on all my social media platforms but I still have so many pictures of us together and have so many urges to tell her about my day or something. I spilled all of my personal problems to her because I trusted her and she made me feel so much better but all of a sudden out of the blue she would not respond to me anymore and I just want a reliable best friend who will always be there for me, you know? I thought we would be friends forever, but clearly she made better ones and forgot all about me btw thank you so much dodie- this really helped me and encouraged me to keep on moving on
but it's also hard because she was my best friend-- so i never told anyone really how much this hurts because she was my BEST FRIEND... i told her everything!
I'm in the same situation, but I am the friend who got depressed. I stop talking to the guy who I considered my best friend and we used to tell everything to each other, but sometimes he was really mean to me, he used to laugh at me whenever I told some tragedy had happened or had passed through a rough time. But when he was in a similar situation I had to be the perfect friend supporting him. And if it wasn't already bad, we used to hang out with another group of friends, and everybody was mean with each other almost all the time. I couldn't stand this anymore, so I suddenly stop talking to them, sometimes I feel bad for no answering the texts or calls from my “best friend”, sometimes I miss him because he didn't use to be like that a year ago. Anyway, what I'm trying to say if you didn't act like that with your best friend or something, no offence intended since I don't know you. But you should try to see through their perspective, and if you consider you did nothing wrong the don't feel bad, I know how it feels, but it's for the best. I hope you're okay and feeling better ❤
4 years later and I'm sat here crying, watching this video to remind me that there's healing after friendships have fallen apart and that not speaking to certain people anymore indefinitely is for the best.
I went through cutting ties with a best friend/major crush who was actually really horrible to me and I had to give them up. It was awful. At the time I wasn't in the best mental state and I wasn't talking to anyone about it. FOLLOW DODIE'S ADVICE. Everything she says is true but you will get through it. I rang my other best friend crying, we skyped (while I cried), I never shut up about how much everything hurt. But it gets better. So. Much. Better. It was his birthday recently and I had completely forgot. I call that progress.
SweetasSugar42 I went through the same thing! I even had some short term memory loss due to the sort of trauma I had to go through, and I'm still working on returning to the happy person I was before. (this sounds really dramatic, but as you said, they weren't the nicest) I wish you the best of luck with further progressing, and I know we'll both get through this! ❤❤❤
SweetasSugar42 OKAY I don't think you would've thought that your comment would help someone but I'm here and boy did it help me, after watching the video I really didn't know if I should cut ties with them but I think it's time... byebye best friend/major crush
My ex boyfriend was toxic. He was emotionally abusive. He was Manipulated and a liar and a stalker. I blocked him from everything. He copied me on my talents. I like dancing, he started dancing. I like playing piano, he started playing piano. He kept copying and just he sucked at it. Don't be caught in a toxic relationship. It has been 8 months since I haven't talked to him or seen him. I'm fine. And now I'm just thinking about my sexuality. Dodie your amazing. You bring joy and laughter to everyone. Just keep being you. ❤️
Kai' Rose my ex boyfriend was the same way. I was tired of him financially and emotionally sucking me dry and hurting me. A friend came to me and put everything on the table of why he wasn't good for me and I got to a breaking point. So I broke it off after two years. It was hard, but I feel so much better afterwards. And he made my cosplay group hate me and manipulated them to see me as a bad person. Now he is dating one of my friends. I cut them off entirely and it made it so much easier.
When watching Dodie just sit and talk to the camera I feel like she's talking to me and like she's my friend even though she doesn't even know me and just that simple feeling is so comforting. Between that and how loving and helpful everyone in the comments is, I feel so overwhelmed by so much positivity.
It's been over a month for me now and I will say that things will get better eventually. Its still really hard rn even when I try to ignore it, but as cheesy as it sounds - time really does heal all wounds. I know you can get through it.
I watched this last Christmas when I was going through a breakup and guess who’s back the same time a year later with a different guy edit: LOL back again ouch
I feel like people on the internet are better than the people in real life. I probably only feel this way because you can't see me nor I can see you. But then there is people you can see who want you to see them, they're comforting to watch and admire but I'm still scared because no one knows who I am.
You might think this because on the internet we search for people and things that we can relate to, I can assure you I've also seen a lot of horrible people out there on the internet .. but yeah it's easier to find people like you here because we find each other through things we value and like so when you meet people like that it's not like in real life,because in real life we kinda meet people randomly especially before uni so yeah.. (I hope I made sense because I'm not native and I'm not sure my English followed my thinking ahah )
it breaks my heart each time i come back to this video but it’s so well articulated that it’s a comfort thing whenever i go through a friendship breakup
i needed this right now. one of my friends is seeming like she just doesn't want to be with me and is basically making me feel like crap. thank you dodie. ily 💗
megisnotonfire i had a similar experience where my "friend" was treating me badly and i don't talk to her anymore. It's hard to do when you still see that person around but I assure you it's so worth it and after a while, you will feel so much better. No one deserves to feel like that. Good luck!
megisnotonfire megisnotonfire I've recently had a similar thing with my best friend, and we're still in the same group so it's hard, but I hope things get better for you! X
Today I finally cut ties with someone who has caused me a lot of pain, but watching this video helped me so, so much. Deep down I know it's the right decision, I will get over this, and I will be happier without her in my life.
SigneRosa Nord you will both find other people to love. maybe sooner than you think, maybe not. but you will, and then you’ll look back at now and wonder why it hurt so much
Watching this almost a year later because I needed someone to talk me through what I'm experiencing. I remember watching this when it was uploaded and thinking "yeah, I'll come back to this when I'm going through something like that"... It helped. When you said at the end "if you're crying right now, keep crying", I did, and it helped. Thank you Dodie for being a sort of online support for all of us.
Watching this almost two years later because im going through it again after just getting over someone i had cut ties with. And of course, dodie gives the best advice yet. (Also, i hope youve had an easy time getting over it. Good luck with that :) )
Not sure if you'll ever see this but you're amazing. I'm 19 and my life's been hell lately, between my father being in and out of the hospital, losing a dear friend, having my girlfriend of 2 and a half years tell me she wasted my time because she didn't love me, and working constant 12 hour shifts. all your music and vlogs are one of the few things that keep me going every day so thank you for having that kind of impact in my life. This past year I've cut so many ties and it sucks. anyways keep being amazing and being yourself Dodie.
What if the person you need to cut it off with somebody you fucking love who hurt you but you constantly forgive them but you just can't let go because you cant
I can imagine how you're feeling right now is really shit, I've been through a very similar sounding thing, but honestly, however bad it hurts, however may times it takes, you need to cut those ties. Please, cut them. It took me over a year to cut ties with a previous relationship but now, despite not being over him fully, I am doing so much better with my mental health and general wellbeing.
WordsWithSam thank you so much :) that made it seem a little bit easier then it is. I have a lot of worries tbh because I don't know how to do it but thank you.
juicy leaves literally my situation. The person did not do anything too bad but hurt me and I can't let it go even though they've tried all their best... I feel guilty for not being able to let things go and I feel like it's all my fault because I can't move on easily and get stuck on the most little insignificant things. So I'm hurt and I also feel guilty... I'm such a failure
after watching this video (and crying... alot) I deleted my ex off of everything. I need to realise that she doesn't want me and that's okay. the feelings I have are not mutual and I have to cut the ties that I ever had with her to be able to move forward. I think it's for the best. thank you Dodie 💞
dodie, you don't understand how much this means to much to me. my (now) ex boyfriend of four years broke up with me and it was because he loved me. and that made it extremely hard. and i wasn't expecting it. my heart hurts so much and i immediately went and watched this video after it happened cause i remember watching it before. thanks for being there for all of us and caring. it hurts but you made it a bit better. xoxo
I actually went through the same thing this year and I'm curious to know how you are feeling now... If you even come across this comment I'd love to know :)
dear Dodie. thank you, you are a true inspiration thank you for being like a big sister, someone i can look up to an come to for advice (in a sense). i (not so recently) cut ties with someone whom i was in a platonic relationship with. this person was very self conceited and liked telling me that she'd be the only person who will ever really and honestly care for me. she kept me insecure, so she'd feel better about herself and i'd keep coming back to her, (because only she cared... right?) you were the one who finally made me pluck up the courage to cut her out of my life and for that i want to thank you. (oh my gosh i'm crying) anyway. like you said, it hurts and on a daily i want to go back to her and talk to her, make excuses yo justify her actions to make her "not that toxic". and i can't because she is... but then my real friends (with whom I've now formed a much stronger bond) would remind me that i don't owe her anything i guess i'm just trying to say thank you for being you and sharing your experiences they really do help people
melomaniac, thank you, you honestly have no idea how happy you've made me. just knowing you took the time to read my sad soppy long ass message. Even just hearing (reading) that you're proud makes me feel better
I saved this video to a playlist called "For Life" back when it was first posted because I had a feeling it'd be a useful and comforting video to come back to someday if I ever needed it. Anyway it's 2023 now and I'm back here and I was correct, it's useful advice and just a nice bit of comfort. Thanks Dodie
I recently cut ties with a good friend and I see her everyday because of school& sometimes I want to turn to her and tell her a joke I heard or ask how her day's going but then I remember we don't talk anymore. It's been a month now& I was the one who initiated the end of the friendship but I had to. I wasn't happy with the friendship and it hurts. But I know in the end it'll feel much better getting rid of the toxicity
Jasmine Flora same thing happened to me months ago (but we dont have any classes together thankfully).. just give it time i promise you will feel better after a few months or so
I know exactly how you feel, but, I guess it's the right thing to do. I've learnt that it takes a long time to heal, but that eventually, you'll look back and think of the good times you've had with them and how they've changed you as a person. Stay strong
Jasmine Flora I know what you mean. i still had to see my ex (friend) throughout my last year of secondary school and it was hard but then I stopped caring about what they thought of me and what they were saying and it was hard at first but it gets easier and better trust me 💜💜
Dude I literally I can't right now I'm going through this right now and I really really needed that thank you very very much It is very nice to know that there are others like me
I don't usually comment on videos, but I really just wanted to thank you. I found your channel just watching cover videos one day, and I'm glad stuck around. I admire you and respect you so much not only as a musician but as a person. I really needed someone I can respect so much to make this video. I'm a guy who was in a relationship with a girl I fell madly in love with for a year. She was my first love. Back in August, we broke up because of a big picture detail in our lives and I am still hurting a lot from it. I miss her desperately, I screwed something up, and deserved to be dumped, but it doesn't change how much it hurts, I didn't expect how much it would do to me. This video will be kept as a reminder when I'm need. Once again, thank you Dodie.
okayyy, so this video literally feels like a hug from a friend, and after a lot of tears I feel like this was the hug I needed. feeling like you're stuck in limbo when you still feel for someone and you know its coming to an end is incredibly difficult but everything is going to be okay and everything happens for a reason and every heartache is a lesson
I'm in a situation like this with a beautiful person I know called Pizza. I used to hang out with Pizza all the time, but it started to get unhealthy for me and those around me. It was a tough choice but I'm finally starting to get away from Pizza. I even unfollowed Dominoes on Twitter. it was a tough choice, but I'm getting better.
This helps so much even though his name still rolls off my lips, his face is still burnt into my minds eye and the love I had for him is still in my heart :/
"If you're crying right now, keep crying." Yes, I am crying. Because this helps so much. I was doing some of these things already, but it wouldn't stop to hurt. It still hurts. And hearing you say that it's going to be okay made me believe in that more. Thank you. Thank you so much. It's still gonna be hard for me, because I was cut out of 6 people's lives who meant the world for me, and I was replaced, but I'm gonna be okay eventually. Hopefully. Thank you, Dodie, for keeping my head up a little higher. Thank you so, so much.
I've been on the other side of this, where I was the one cut off. I wasn't told WHY, just a text saying "we shouldnt do this anymore". I didn't want to force anything so I just said "ok". This was 4 years ago and I still can't seem to get over it. So if you're going to cut ties with someone PLEASE talk to them and explain eveything. It's hell not knowing why, it really is. I havent spoken to this person since that conversation but I still think about it every day?? I feel like I'm grieving a death... and I'm not sure if that's normal.
flower breanna so it's normal. But just know that you probably didn't do anything wrong, otherwise they would've told you. And if they didn't want to be friends (idk what kind of relationship it was) it's for the best. It has to come from both ways
no fucking way... the exact same thing happened to me and i replied with your exact words. mine was last month and my mum literally told me it was like i was grieving the girl who cut me off and that that was a completely normal response to it because all the contact we had was over social medias. your comment makes me feel less alone so thank u
oh boy, I watched this when it came out two years ago, because it was relevant for me and now, two years later, I'm going over a very painful break up, and, again, this video popped into my head and once again, it's helping. Thank you dodie 🧡
I've been holding myself from crying for the past month and a half, and now that video helped me to realize that this is actually what I needed to do - to cry. Thank you, very helpful, exactly what I needed right now
I straight up told a girl that I wanted to break ties off with her, because she had hurt me badly (badmouthing me with no reason to all of my close friends, lying to me about it, etc.) and she made it seem like it wasn't the best idea. she continued to say "if that's what *you* want," when in reality it was clear she wanted it too. we have a pretty healthy relationship, we took a break for about 6 months and she apologized for what she had done. sometimes I'm conflicted because its clear she is trying to make a change, but a lot of the time I'm still angry about what she did. I'm sure ill be okay, thanks for this dodie (even though I'm a whole 3 YEARS LATE WOAH)
Tanaka Ree I don't like the kind of people that are like "you have supportive friends and great people around you" it just makes me feel that people never understand anything
i just finished watching this and i'm sobbing. i'm considering ending things with someone i love very much, and i really don't want to do it. but i feel like, especially after tonight, i need to. i really need to do this.
I got broken up with 12 days ago and it's been really difficult trying to move on from her. I am still crying every day. Luckily, this video and Dodie's songs are somehow soothing me as I go through this process. Thank you and love you always Dodie!
my childhood best friend became very toxic and after I broke ties with her. She got a group of girls that I didn't know to hate me and bully me for years.
hi. i know this was 6 months ago but i feel this a lot. my childhood best friend made our friend group turn against me. honestly it sucked but i made new friends in my other classes and while yes i missed my old friends i realized that if they hated me because of what she said they weren't really my friends to begin with. just know that it will be okay. :)
Jaime Collier im about three months away from ending my first serious relationship and im far far better than i ever was during it. I remember the first month i felt so vulnerable and almost ran back but I stood strong and so glad i did. I know you dont know me, but if I could do it, you could do it. Like dodie said, you can be happy and you will be happy!
hey dodie. rewatching this video at 27. it feels like i’m learning how to really be okay on my own for the first time (oof) and hearing this advice from a friendly face means a lot. hope you’re doing well.
I've watched this video at least over 15 times in the past few years and every time Im going through this sort of situation I always seem to come back to this video. You speak like a friend, its so comforting
Rainbow Hoarder. dame here but it was a guy. who destroyed me completely. I couldn't even look at something that reminded me of him I would cry and then continue to think about him . but then after I watched this video I realized. how much I missed out on around me . Thank you Dodie
i recently got out of a v toxic long term relationship and rewatched this video. it honestly feels like chatting with a friend and i appreciate that. dodie is so honest but also calming and i love that she keeps saying "it will hurt im sorry for that" it just feels real. thank you for helping me.
its been nine months since I cut my best friend out of my life and it was really really tough for me. I've never had to do anything like it before and I didn't expect it to hurt so much for so long. Ultimately I know I was right to do it, and I think we've both been better since, but I still get moments when I remember some of the really great moments we had together. A big thing for me when I hit a particularly tough spot is I remind myself that sure, some of my best memories were with her, but there was a reason we don't talk anymore. it wasn't a healthy relationship in the end. I find it helps a lot to keep reminding yourself of who you cut ties with them in the first place because the desire to just forget about it and go back to them can be really overwhelming at times. This video was spot on though. Thank you for once again creating something that has helped me to feel more okay about myself and my own feelings and emotions :)
Its hard to cut ties with someone when they are going through a tough time because you want to be there for them, but there is a point in time where there negativity starts getting to you and you can't do anything except cut ties. That is what I have learned over this year and a half of finding out who I am.
I used to repeat this video again and again for weeks. I listened to it to go to sleep, when I was really sad. And now I returned to it and I'm so happy!! So so happy and proud of myself. I got over him and I feel sooo free. I still love him but it doesn't hurt, not a little bit.
thank you so much dodie for sharing this. exactly what I needed at this very moment. one day, when I look back at all the pain I’m feeling right now, I’m going to remember you and your words and how much this video has helped me realize a bunch of things. we love you 🌻
I just wanted to share a part of my life too, because cuting ties can only bring good things, even things you didn't expect to happen. I feel like it just applies to a break up situation, but maybe not : My last girlfriend broke up with me after almost 3 years together. I had to leave our (her) appartment, and sleep on my friends couch for 4 month after that until I could get my own appartment. I was devastated and felt a lot of things : sadness, denial, anger... I embraced those feelings. It's important. I had to keep touch with her because she still helped me and kept my stuff at her place, received my mail and I just couldn't "break up" with my 2 cats (that I left with her since I didn't have enough money and space for them, among other things). Anyway, I was at my friends' for a while, and they helped me a lot. I stopped checking her FB after some time, and I shared my feelings with anyone who was ready to listen to me (my mom, strangers on the internet who are now realy good friends, my friends, my collegues...). It was hard cuting ties, and I couldn't do it properly because of my situation but once I got back my stuff and had my own place, I only contacted her when I needed (forgot things there, still had some mail situation going on...). She sent me pictures of our/her/my cats from time to time because she knew I missed them, but nothing more. And maybe after 7 or 8 months, I was okay, and asked her how she was doing. Since then we catch up on each other sometimes, she still send me pictures of my cats, we help each other and she supported me when girls played with me. I'm happy she's happy with her girlfriend, and she's happy I'm happy with mine. We're kind of friends, I think. I don't know. But it doesn't hurt anymore and everything is just clear and simple and healthy. So maybe, if you want to, you can keep touch with someone you loved :D. Just don't rush it, don't force it and take time for yourself. You'll be alright.
The only reason I have a problem with cutting people off is because I know they'll attain phsycological damage too. Just as they've given me. And I hate that about myself. That I'm too nice and loving to cut people off although their presence angers me to the point where I scream pointlessly in the cafeteria at lunchtime (at nothing and no one in particular). And such a thing like this is stressful when I have Regents coming up. (Regents is a series of tests that New York thinks is a great way to test knowledge of high schoolers. My school is special so we do it in middle school). I don't have the time or mental preparation for this. But I know that I have to do this (I can't go through another year with these toxic relations with these people).
Hey! I know you posted this a year ago but I wanted to check in and see how you're doing! I know how hard it is to cut people off and it just adds to school stress, but.. yeah.. how are you, sis?
I remember watching this when you uploaded it and thinking "this will never apply to me, everyone in my life is so good for me" and now i need this video more than ever. Thank you so much dodie.
I truly fell in love with my best friend. With all my heart. We met on a game and talked over Skype and it all continued from there. I was just so afraid of hurting her feelings that I never spoke a word when she had done something that hurt me (but I know it was always unintentional), plus we felt obligated to talk to each other all day without a break since that sort of established itself as a schedule and we were too afraid to switch it up, as that might hurt the other one. It collected over three years, and a few months ago we decided we had to stop talking because our friendship had just grown way too toxic. But everything about her... she lived a life I really wanted the whole time I've been alive; with good friends at a great school in a gorgeous country. She was the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and so sweet and I was so scared of losing her. She honestly was my everything... she was fulfilling in the times where I felt reduced to nothing. I doubt that if we ever meet again the old traces of our memories together could be repaired and we could have something healthy. I just can't seem to let it go at that. I wish so badly I could've instead known her in real life... I know I keep hoping for something I'll never get as it's far too late. But it's so hard to leave something so painful AND so great at the same time behind.
I can express with words... how much I love the way you speak, the way you look, the way you express yourself , the way you smile...I can express with words how much I love u! you are my favourite youtuber and you deserve moreee subscribers !!?
I've recently had to cut ties with a girl I thought was my best friend. Going through this I have some advice for all of you. Here we go: You don't need them in your life. I thought I could never live without them yet I'm still standing here stronger than ever. There will be those nights were you cry your eyes out and you wanna give up but those nights make you stronger. You are loved and you are cherished. Love the friends you have now and appreciate them and go to them in your time of need. No matter how hard it gets remember you are a warrior and you can get through this. I did and if I did then you can too. I bet whoever you are that you are a great and beautiful and you should be treated with respect and whoever your cutting ties with doesn't treat you like that so their not needed in your life. Stay around those who love you and get through this with them by your side.
I used to be friends with some people who weren't really that good for me and looking back I realise I felt negative all the time because I was friends with them and it was basically a one-way street at one point and it was just really toxic and escalated to bullying. I eventually cut ties with the people concerned and, three (almost four) years later, I'm glad I did and I'm grateful for what that whole experience taught me about myself and how healthy friendships and relationships in general should work. It was actually around this time that you posted this video and it really helped me a lot and it was a comfort to know that I wasn't the only one going through a situation like that. Thank you Dodie
phil tøps if they act like or say they will kill themselves without you, that is manipulative & horrible of them. you cannot put yourself through a bad relationship/friendship because they've manipulated you into feeling too bad to leave them. it's not right, i know from experience. try to get them help, tell someone they are close to, and then help yourself. you do not need to put yourself in harms way for someone like that. stay safe, love.
I just started falling in love with this guy for the first time in years but I have severe abandonment issues & my mind has instantly supplied me with reasons on why He’ll never feel that way for me & why I don’t deserve it...this really sucks.
A year ago I watched this video and cried, and now several months later, im grateful and so much more happy after following your advice. Thank you so much Dodie, you are lovely!
Hey Dodie, just wanted to let you know that this video came at an incredibly good timing for me. I just broke up with my boyfriend, of a year, a couple of days ago. It's bad but know it'll get better. Also, your EP has been on replay in my headphones since it came out! Absolutely love it! Keep up the fantastic work and thank you for your lovely words. ♥
I remember watching this video when it came out and younger me having never cut ties with someone. 3 years later I forgot bout this video 4 months after cutting ties. This was very cathartic and helpful. Still healing. To anyone out there who sees this, you are loved
Thank you, this has helped me so much. I was friends with this group of about 8 people and when they stopped talking to me it hurt. Now thanks to you, I think I will be able to cope a bit more. Thank you
My friends all left me and it was not too bad untill my best friend just stopped interacting with me. And while we weren't dating, she was a really important part of my life for over 12 years It's been a bit over 2 years. I'm pretty sure she doesn't even realize how much this impacted me. I still have dreams that we're friends and I can't bring myself to take down pictures of us I have on my walls. And it's stupid cause it shouldn't be like this, friendships fade away all the time so why am I still hurting so much?
But what do I do if she confronts me and asks me why I don't want to be her friend any more? I've been trying to make her leave me alone but I don't want to be mean, but then again, she's toxic to my friendships and is preventing me from from making other friends. She's super clingy and i don't know what to do. Every time she asks me why we're not as close as we used to be I just chicken out and tell her that we're still friends (but I don't want us to be) I'm sorry if that made no sense I'm just AAAAGH
tell her how you feel/think. it will be the best for both of you. it will be off your heart and she will know where it went wrong. just silently cutting her out is not okay. sometimes the truth hurts the most, but a lie just makes it worse. telling the truth is like slapping someone, it hurts for a while but it goes away.
I started crying right before you said it’s okay to cry. When I watch your videos I feel like you’re the only person on Earth who can possibly understand my feeling and calm me down. Thank you. So. Much.
I wish I had this video a few months ago as I cut ties with someone very toxic and it was quite messy and I feel terrible about it but thank you for uploading this so many people need it x
niamh scott you shouldn't feel terrible about it ❤. you did it for you and to get yourself to a better state of mind and life. (I've had to do this and I felt like the worst person ever. because my "friends" around me convinced me that I was the bad guy and that I shouldn't have ended things the way I did or at all. I eventually learned that others especially those "friends" who just half analyze the situation then shove blame are really bad to be around. and that you need to be extra careful on who all you listen to and take advice from.)
+Bobbi Gibbs thank you I am glad you are out of this horrible situation too. I am lucky my friends supported my decision especially as one of them had got out of it a few months earlier so I had to deal with all of the backlash from that. I feel bad because she was a very vulnerable person but I just couldn't stay friends with her. I am sorry your friends were such dicks
It took me a loooonggg time to break up with & get over my ex because I was scared, I didn't have ANY close friends that I could go to and complain or hang out and have fun, but in the end its all worth it, I'm so much happier now. Even so, I loved this video so muchhh...
AmberAndGolden i dont mean to be rude or make you uncomfortable but since you didnt have friends to go to after the break up how did you deal with it? cause im kinda going throught that,actually i had to cut ties with the only person i considered my friend and its lonely af and whenever i try to get close to other people i keep comparing them to her and thinking that its not gonna work and it feels awful but i dont know what else to do
catnipevrdn No problem, That really sucks :( Im sorry thats happened to you! I generally just tried to do the things that I enjoyed doing, and it's hard to do after loosing someone but if you have a hobby that you like doing then try and get involved in it as much as possible, for me it was art/painting/drawing/making youtube videos.. If you can, try and find friends online or join a community, it can be hard but its a lot easier to make friends online that in person, especially if you have a hobby or passion in common.. Being productive, for me, was one of the best things.. I hope I helped..?? Sorry if this is useless for you, If you want to talk about anything feel free to message me on youtube or somewhere else?? Best of luck ;////;
its cruel & funny, how at the date this video was upload & seen by me i was like "man, sounds so hard & difficult, I can never even imagine myself passing for that with the love of my life, I don't wanna do that... in fact i'm not gonna do it causes that is not going to happen" y felt sad and cold... but distant from it. ...now, july 2017, after almost 2 months since break-up, youtube poped this again & man... wow, so much wisdom (hard wisdom, the kind that seem even "Not possible"), so much harsh & tuff & cold in reality that how it was in the thinking... ...sorry for the long comment, im just in a bad day, where i've been feeling that "its not possible" it hurts more than it should, but this gave me hope, cause some of those steps has already been walked, so... thank you, in days like these, you just want to feel listen & understood by someone else and you did that for me. Cuddles.
Harish Thangavel I think that's a case of the one getting out doing what's best for them. If you're that person you should never feel bad about it. Equally if you're the person they want to get away from, you need to find out if they're willing to talk it out with you and then you can come to a mutual understanding of space and separation or perhaps you working to improve the relationship
Harish Thangavel i'm going through the same thing except i'm the one who wants to cut ties with someone. if you're in the same situation, i guess that you shouldn't fight what you feel. if you feel like you have/want to say goodbye to someone, then do it. i don't think you have to talk it out with them. you just need to find closure, whether that's by writing them a letter, like dodie said, or simply just realizing "ah... maybe this person isn't meant to be a part of my life anymore". which is what happened to me. the moment i realized that, i just... went away from them. i knew they weren't going to change even after talking abt it (we've been 'arguing' for a few months now), but they texted me told me something that made me realize that we were too different to be friends. and it hurt me, but i did what i thought felt right and cut ties with them. and i don't regret it i hope my comment helps you with what you're going through yourself! ^^
i was really worried when i saw the title, i thought she was going through this herself, and it kind made me realise how much i care about her even though i've never met her
+Siri Bjørnæs omg
doddlevloggle oml Dodie, I can't tell you how helpful this is
Siri Bjørnæs oml don't remind me it's been a week since I last meet her
Siri Bjørnæs but she is the sweetest bean on earth she deserves the best
Dodie- If you're crying rn keep crying
Me- *crys harder*
literally me right now
*cries harder I’m sorry
Relatable
I’ve been crying for six years I think I need to avoid that advice
Same haha. I’m laughing but I’m actually crying really hard rn. Like so hard 😂
Whoever is watching this now - I love you and I'm crying along with you.
Zara Cole thanks
Love you too xx
I needed this
Thank you, I needed this.
Zara Cole -❤️
I keep coming back to this video. People guilt me for cutting ties, but they really hurt me and I needed to do it. They still come back to hurt me later through telling other people my weaknesses.
Rebecca C BIGGEST FUCKING MOOD
wtf?? they sound like jerks
for anyone going through this right now, i'm proud of you. you are so so strong. you are amazing. you matter. you'll be okay (:
if any of you need to talk to anyone, i'm always listening! just ask for my social media n we can talk c:
Cyara Wilsenach of course you can! my username is @sy.cophantic
aww thank you
no problem (:
Such a great video!!! Talking really helps though
I loved this video. It felt like we were sitting down, drinking coffee, and just chatting.☕️ Like I was getting advice from a friend.
Love you!😊
ikr , it always feels so personal
I felt the same to, what I love about TH-cam. It gives you the friendships you need 24/7 x
Her vids are so therapeutic
i absolutely agree!
I'm sitting on my floor sobbing in their sweatshirt, why are humans so hard
blonde in a sweatshirt • hope ur doing better now 💛💛
U named yourself that too!? I'm sorry but that's awful
Hey you. I hope you're okay, that's all.
Samah Amara I completely forgot about this comment to be honest. Thank you all for the well wishes, I am MUCH better now. This made me chuckle, I didn’t realize.. I named myself this now because I feel so cozy and safe in sweatshirts. They are my go to when I don’t feel confident or when I want to be comfortable. I find it now extremely ironic. It wasn’t my name at the time. this was a good revisit :)
blonde in a sweatshirt • so happy for you ❤️❤️keep on going hope your still doing well
i'm cutting ties with my best friend who ghosted me during one of the most difficult moments of my life and when i wrote her a long text explaining exactly how her ignoring me (but keeping contact with everyone else) has made me feel- she wrote back saying she was depressed and doesn't want her friendship to end and that she will always be there for me but can't tell me when she can reply to my messages again (which is so hypocritical - i don't understand) Reading her text made me feel bad and I told her I would wait until she was ready to talk but after a while I thought about it and I didn't understand why I was trying to make her feel better when she hurt me to begin with- so I immediately unfriended her and unfollowed her on all my social media platforms but I still have so many pictures of us together and have so many urges to tell her about my day or something. I spilled all of my personal problems to her because I trusted her and she made me feel so much better but all of a sudden out of the blue she would not respond to me anymore and I just want a reliable best friend who will always be there for me, you know? I thought we would be friends forever, but clearly she made better ones and forgot all about me
btw thank you so much dodie- this really helped me and encouraged me to keep on moving on
but it's also hard because she was my best friend-- so i never told anyone really how much this hurts because she was my BEST FRIEND... i told her everything!
I'm in the same situation, but I am the friend who got depressed. I stop talking to the guy who I considered my best friend and we used to tell everything to each other, but sometimes he was really mean to me, he used to laugh at me whenever I told some tragedy had happened or had passed through a rough time. But when he was in a similar situation I had to be the perfect friend supporting him. And if it wasn't already bad, we used to hang out with another group of friends, and everybody was mean with each other almost all the time. I couldn't stand this anymore, so I suddenly stop talking to them, sometimes I feel bad for no answering the texts or calls from my “best friend”, sometimes I miss him because he didn't use to be like that a year ago. Anyway, what I'm trying to say if you didn't act like that with your best friend or something, no offence intended since I don't know you. But you should try to see through their perspective, and if you consider you did nothing wrong the don't feel bad, I know how it feels, but it's for the best. I hope you're okay and feeling better ❤
aw thank you for this. and I'm sorry to hear you're going through a tough time as well. I hope you feel better soon.
Xxii MissyiixX aw hope things are okay and nope I dont have snapchat
Caitlin So it's getting easier. But it's still sad. I get depressed sometime but yeah
I love how she posts this when I need it the most
RIGHT!!! It's like she's a mind reader
T Promegranate
Exactly....
exactly
lmao and i'm back at this video again 2 years later :)
let's make a bow with all cut ties
I haven't seen him much at all.
It could be weird but, I think I'm into it. You know I'm one for the overly passionate...
I like you, and I loved him, we could all be the best kind of friends...
You said you’re into closure
shake hands like you're supposed to
4 years later and I'm sat here crying, watching this video to remind me that there's healing after friendships have fallen apart and that not speaking to certain people anymore indefinitely is for the best.
I went through cutting ties with a best friend/major crush who was actually really horrible to me and I had to give them up. It was awful. At the time I wasn't in the best mental state and I wasn't talking to anyone about it.
FOLLOW DODIE'S ADVICE. Everything she says is true but you will get through it.
I rang my other best friend crying, we skyped (while I cried), I never shut up about how much everything hurt.
But it gets better. So. Much. Better.
It was his birthday recently and I had completely forgot.
I call that progress.
SweetasSugar42
doddleoddle awh you replied!! your advice was great :-)
SweetasSugar42 I went through the same thing! I even had some short term memory loss due to the sort of trauma I had to go through, and I'm still working on returning to the happy person I was before. (this sounds really dramatic, but as you said, they weren't the nicest) I wish you the best of luck with further progressing, and I know we'll both get through this! ❤❤❤
Lucy Nielsen wow I'm so sorry you had to go through that, you sound a lot better now however. stay positive :-) xx
SweetasSugar42 OKAY I don't think you would've thought that your comment would help someone but I'm here and boy did it help me, after watching the video I really didn't know if I should cut ties with them but I think it's time... byebye best friend/major crush
My ex boyfriend was toxic. He was emotionally abusive. He was Manipulated and a liar and a stalker. I blocked him from everything. He copied me on my talents. I like dancing, he started dancing. I like playing piano, he started playing piano. He kept copying and just he sucked at it. Don't be caught in a toxic relationship. It has been 8 months since I haven't talked to him or seen him. I'm fine. And now I'm just thinking about my sexuality. Dodie your amazing. You bring joy and laughter to everyone. Just keep being you. ❤️
Kai' Rose very proud of you for getting out of it 💕
I've been in a strangely similar situation. I'm so happy you got yourself out of that and were able to learn from the experience.
Kai' Rose my ex boyfriend was the same way. I was tired of him financially and emotionally sucking me dry and hurting me. A friend came to me and put everything on the table of why he wasn't good for me and I got to a breaking point. So I broke it off after two years. It was hard, but I feel so much better afterwards. And he made my cosplay group hate me and manipulated them to see me as a bad person. Now he is dating one of my friends. I cut them off entirely and it made it so much easier.
Go you! You did all of those amazing things because you're amazing.
When watching Dodie just sit and talk to the camera I feel like she's talking to me and like she's my friend even though she doesn't even know me and just that simple feeling is so comforting. Between that and how loving and helpful everyone in the comments is, I feel so overwhelmed by so much positivity.
CallMeMargo exactly, i feel like it is just one on one.
i come back to this video every time i have to let go of someone and it’s been 5 years that i’ve been doing this, i love how healthy this video feels
this is why i love dodie so much
same here!
me too ! :)
Same
agreed
you made this video the week im going through a 4 year breakup, i needed this more than anything.
wallflowerstories I can't even imagine what that's like :( I'm sorry love. I hope you learn, grow heal, and flourish from this. Best of luck xx
NinjaBunni13 thank you for kind comment
wallflowerstories You're very welcome hun
My girlfriend and I of 3 years just broke up yesterday... I feel completely lost. I'm sorry for anyone who has gone through this.
It's been over a month for me now and I will say that things will get better eventually. Its still really hard rn even when I try to ignore it, but as cheesy as it sounds - time really does heal all wounds. I know you can get through it.
i am so depressed rn and dodie makes me so happy
Theo Goia
yipee :)
stay strong and even though I know it doesn't feel like it, have faith in the fact happiness will come back :)
I feel you, she's such a pure human. Even when she's not happy herself, her honesty is refreshing. Sending love and hugs your way x
Theo Goia girl I can relate 100%, sending love 💗
I watched this last Christmas when I was going through a breakup and guess who’s back the same time a year later with a different guy
edit:
LOL back again ouch
This comment is relatable content.
Hope you’re doing better now.
hi same
holy shoot me of the past look who it is again lmao
i feel you sis
Grace Branch I'm so sorry :(
I feel like people on the internet are better than the people in real life. I probably only feel this way because you can't see me nor I can see you. But then there is people you can see who want you to see them, they're comforting to watch and admire but I'm still scared because no one knows who I am.
SAME
well, not all people on the internet, but people on dodies channel are ;)
You might think this because on the internet we search for people and things that we can relate to, I can assure you I've also seen a lot of horrible people out there on the internet .. but yeah it's easier to find people like you here because we find each other through things we value and like so when you meet people like that it's not like in real life,because in real life we kinda meet people randomly especially before uni so yeah.. (I hope I made sense because I'm not native and I'm not sure my English followed my thinking ahah )
my sunday just got 587763746 times better
gime toma samee
gime toma Sameee
gime toma yep yep yep yep yep yep
gime toma sameeee
Yes yes yes YES yes yes yeahhhhhhhh
"You don't need someone to fix yourself" got me emotional, I think I needed to hear that
+Charlotte Antoine
it breaks my heart each time i come back to this video but it’s so well articulated that it’s a comfort thing whenever i go through a friendship breakup
i needed this right now. one of my friends is seeming like she just doesn't want to be with me and is basically making me feel like crap. thank you dodie. ily 💗
plus just a few months two of my other friends revealed they hate me, and i'm still not over it. this is really helpful
megisnotonfire I hope things get better 💖
megisnotonfire shit im sorry that happened, i hope things get better soon! xx
megisnotonfire i had a similar experience where my "friend" was treating me badly and i don't talk to her anymore. It's hard to do when you still see that person around but I assure you it's so worth it and after a while, you will feel so much better. No one deserves to feel like that. Good luck!
megisnotonfire megisnotonfire I've recently had a similar thing with my best friend, and we're still in the same group so it's hard, but I hope things get better for you! X
Today I finally cut ties with someone who has caused me a lot of pain, but watching this video helped me so, so much. Deep down I know it's the right decision, I will get over this, and I will be happier without her in my life.
It’s hard when I still love him and he still loves me :(
I’m in the same situation... any tips since you went through this two years ago? I hope it turned out okey for you xx
SigneRosa Nord you will both find other people to love. maybe sooner than you think, maybe not. but you will, and then you’ll look back at now and wonder why it hurt so much
Watching this almost a year later because I needed someone to talk me through what I'm experiencing. I remember watching this when it was uploaded and thinking "yeah, I'll come back to this when I'm going through something like that"... It helped. When you said at the end "if you're crying right now, keep crying", I did, and it helped. Thank you Dodie for being a sort of online support for all of us.
Watching this almost two years later because im going through it again after just getting over someone i had cut ties with. And of course, dodie gives the best advice yet.
(Also, i hope youve had an easy time getting over it. Good luck with that :) )
Not sure if you'll ever see this but you're amazing. I'm 19 and my life's been hell lately, between my father being in and out of the hospital, losing a dear friend, having my girlfriend of 2 and a half years tell me she wasted my time because she didn't love me, and working constant 12 hour shifts. all your music and vlogs are one of the few things that keep me going every day so thank you for having that kind of impact in my life. This past year I've cut so many ties and it sucks. anyways keep being amazing and being yourself Dodie.
That One Bear You're amazing, keep on being strong :)
That One Bear n
What if the person you need to cut it off with somebody you fucking love who hurt you but you constantly forgive them but you just can't let go because you cant
juicy leaves cut ties. please cut ties. cut those ties
I can imagine how you're feeling right now is really shit, I've been through a very similar sounding thing, but honestly, however bad it hurts, however may times it takes, you need to cut those ties. Please, cut them. It took me over a year to cut ties with a previous relationship but now, despite not being over him fully, I am doing so much better with my mental health and general wellbeing.
WordsWithSam thank you so much :) that made it seem a little bit easier then it is. I have a lot of worries tbh because I don't know how to do it but thank you.
juicy leaves I'm literally in the same situation atm
juicy leaves literally my situation. The person did not do anything too bad but hurt me and I can't let it go even though they've tried all their best... I feel guilty for not being able to let things go and I feel like it's all my fault because I can't move on easily and get stuck on the most little insignificant things. So I'm hurt and I also feel guilty... I'm such a failure
after watching this video (and crying... alot) I deleted my ex off of everything. I need to realise that she doesn't want me and that's okay. the feelings I have are not mutual and I have to cut the ties that I ever had with her to be able to move forward. I think it's for the best.
thank you Dodie 💞
+Chloe Carr I believe in you!!!
+Chloe Carr I believe in you!!!
Thank you so much! At least now I know somebody does 💞
Chloe Carr you got this!💓
Thank you💞
dodie, you don't understand how much this means to much to me. my (now) ex boyfriend of four years broke up with me and it was because he loved me. and that made it extremely hard. and i wasn't expecting it. my heart hurts so much and i immediately went and watched this video after it happened cause i remember watching it before. thanks for being there for all of us and caring. it hurts but you made it a bit better. xoxo
i’m going through the same thing. But after this comment of two years I hope everything is happy with you
I actually went through the same thing this year and I'm curious to know how you are feeling now... If you even come across this comment I'd love to know :)
"You're gonna be okay. Alright." that got me.. i teared up.. then if ur crying right now, keep crying. yup that started it THANKS
JESUS I can't believe you've made a video about this because I really needed a video like this so much right now :(
Update: I also cried lol
Victoria Boston same
Victoria Boston same !!
Victoria Boston me too :(
me too- toxic friendships are the worst. I hope things go well for you frends - remember it's best for you. stay strong :)
dear Dodie.
thank you, you are a true inspiration thank you for being like a big sister, someone i can look up to an come to for advice (in a sense). i (not so recently) cut ties with someone whom i was in a platonic relationship with.
this person was very self conceited and liked telling me that she'd be the only person who will ever really and honestly care for me. she kept me insecure, so she'd feel better about herself and i'd keep coming back to her, (because only she cared... right?)
you were the one who finally made me pluck up the courage to cut her out of my life and for that i want to thank you. (oh my gosh i'm crying)
anyway. like you said, it hurts and on a daily i want to go back to her and talk to her, make excuses yo justify her actions to make her "not that toxic". and i can't because she is... but then my real friends (with whom I've now formed a much stronger bond) would remind me that i don't owe her anything
i guess i'm just trying to say thank you for being you and sharing your experiences they really do help people
sorry it's such a long message... i didn't even notice.
I'm sososo proud of you well done it makes me so happy to see the affect dodie can have aw
melomaniac, thank you, you honestly have no idea how happy you've made me. just knowing you took the time to read my sad soppy long ass message. Even just hearing (reading) that you're proud makes me feel better
+Just Tea Covers you're welcome, cutting ties is always a tough thing to do and you're very brave and strong to have done so
melomaniac yeah, thank you again. it means alot
I tried to send this to my friend but I accidentally sent the underwear ad instead.
Hahahahaha I hope your friend liked that
she said it was the best 30 seconds of her life
I saved this video to a playlist called "For Life" back when it was first posted because I had a feeling it'd be a useful and comforting video to come back to someday if I ever needed it. Anyway it's 2023 now and I'm back here and I was correct, it's useful advice and just a nice bit of comfort. Thanks Dodie
I recently cut ties with a good friend and I see her everyday because of school& sometimes I want to turn to her and tell her a joke I heard or ask how her day's going but then I remember we don't talk anymore. It's been a month now& I was the one who initiated the end of the friendship but I had to. I wasn't happy with the friendship and it hurts. But I know in the end it'll feel much better getting rid of the toxicity
Jasmine Flora same thing happened to me months ago (but we dont have any classes together thankfully).. just give it time i promise you will feel better after a few months or so
I know exactly how you feel, but, I guess it's the right thing to do. I've learnt that it takes a long time to heal, but that eventually, you'll look back and think of the good times you've had with them and how they've changed you as a person. Stay strong
Jasmine Flora I am going through this with my old best friend and school is not helping
Jasmine Flora
Jasmine Flora I know what you mean. i still had to see my ex (friend) throughout my last year of secondary school and it was hard but then I stopped caring about what they thought of me and what they were saying and it was hard at first but it gets easier and better trust me 💜💜
Dude
I literally
I can't right now
I'm going through this right now and I really really needed that
thank you very very much
It is very nice to know
that there are
others like
me
I don't usually comment on videos, but I really just wanted to thank you. I found your channel just watching cover videos one day, and I'm glad stuck around. I admire you and respect you so much not only as a musician but as a person. I really needed someone I can respect so much to make this video. I'm a guy who was in a relationship with a girl I fell madly in love with for a year. She was my first love. Back in August, we broke up because of a big picture detail in our lives and I am still hurting a lot from it. I miss her desperately, I screwed something up, and deserved to be dumped, but it doesn't change how much it hurts, I didn't expect how much it would do to me. This video will be kept as a reminder when I'm need. Once again, thank you Dodie.
okayyy, so this video literally feels like a hug from a friend, and after a lot of tears I feel like this was the hug I needed. feeling like you're stuck in limbo when you still feel for someone and you know its coming to an end is incredibly difficult but everything is going to be okay and everything happens for a reason and every heartache is a lesson
i knew you once
and it was nice
I knew your brain and your heart
all your inside
Just with a look
That's all it took
im going through this at the moment.
it hurts so freaking much.
ik you left this comment a year ago and i’m going through it now and it’s tearing me apart. did it get better?
same
I'm in a situation like this with a beautiful person I know called Pizza. I used to hang out with Pizza all the time, but it started to get unhealthy for me and those around me. It was a tough choice but I'm finally starting to get away from Pizza. I even unfollowed Dominoes on Twitter. it was a tough choice, but I'm getting better.
You're deluded! You can't live without Pizza, and you know it!
I met up with Pizza for lunch today... I'm weak
***** oh my god I think Pizza is cheating on me with you
Opuskrokus someone's pizza's best friend lol
you are so strong. i believe in you. maybe you and pizza could be friends someday (:
This helps so much even though his name still rolls off my lips, his face is still burnt into my minds eye and the love I had for him is still in my heart :/
"If you're crying right now, keep crying." Yes, I am crying. Because this helps so much. I was doing some of these things already, but it wouldn't stop to hurt. It still hurts. And hearing you say that it's going to be okay made me believe in that more. Thank you. Thank you so much.
It's still gonna be hard for me, because I was cut out of 6 people's lives who meant the world for me, and I was replaced, but I'm gonna be okay eventually. Hopefully.
Thank you, Dodie, for keeping my head up a little higher. Thank you so, so much.
+Simeon Skarletton you can do this
I've been on the other side of this, where I was the one cut off. I wasn't told WHY, just a text saying "we shouldnt do this anymore". I didn't want to force anything so I just said "ok". This was 4 years ago and I still can't seem to get over it. So if you're going to cut ties with someone PLEASE talk to them and explain eveything. It's hell not knowing why, it really is. I havent spoken to this person since that conversation but I still think about it every day?? I feel like I'm grieving a death... and I'm not sure if that's normal.
flower breanna the same thing happened to me and I still think about it sometimes
flower breanna so it's normal. But just know that you probably didn't do anything wrong, otherwise they would've told you. And if they didn't want to be friends (idk what kind of relationship it was) it's for the best. It has to come from both ways
Anouschka Schmikli yes, thank you x
no fucking way... the exact same thing happened to me and i replied with your exact words. mine was last month and my mum literally told me it was like i was grieving the girl who cut me off and that that was a completely normal response to it because all the contact we had was over social medias. your comment makes me feel less alone so thank u
same old rhymes i really hope you're ok x
oh boy, I watched this when it came out two years ago, because it was relevant for me and now, two years later, I'm going over a very painful break up, and, again, this video popped into my head and once again, it's helping. Thank you dodie 🧡
I've been holding myself from crying for the past month and a half, and now that video helped me to realize that this is actually what I needed to do - to cry. Thank you, very helpful, exactly what I needed right now
I straight up told a girl that I wanted to break ties off with her, because she had hurt me badly (badmouthing me with no reason to all of my close friends, lying to me about it, etc.) and she made it seem like it wasn't the best idea. she continued to say "if that's what *you* want," when in reality it was clear she wanted it too. we have a pretty healthy relationship, we took a break for about 6 months and she apologized for what she had done. sometimes I'm conflicted because its clear she is trying to make a change, but a lot of the time I'm still angry about what she did. I'm sure ill be okay, thanks for this dodie (even though I'm a whole 3 YEARS LATE WOAH)
"You have plenty of friends"
NOPE.
Tanaka Ree Same same
I'm sure you'll meet someone great soon
Tanaka Ree I don't like the kind of people that are like "you have supportive friends and great people around you" it just makes me feel that people never understand anything
@@cait9996 really needed this today. just lost a bunch of friends and don't really have anyone. thank you.
i just finished watching this and i'm sobbing. i'm considering ending things with someone i love very much, and i really don't want to do it. but i feel like, especially after tonight, i need to. i really need to do this.
Mary Ghazi you can do this, if you believe it’ll be better for you in the long run do it 💛
I got broken up with 12 days ago and it's been really difficult trying to move on from her. I am still crying every day. Luckily, this video and Dodie's songs are somehow soothing me as I go through this process. Thank you and love you always Dodie!
Hi friend :) I hope you're doing better now
i’m in the same boat right now, i hope things got better for you
I always always find my way back to this video after a breakup. Thank you dodie.
my childhood best friend became very toxic and after I broke ties with her. She got a group of girls that I didn't know to hate me and bully me for years.
hi. i know this was 6 months ago but i feel this a lot. my childhood best friend made our friend group turn against me. honestly it sucked but i made new friends in my other classes and while yes i missed my old friends i realized that if they hated me because of what she said they weren't really my friends to begin with. just know that it will be okay. :)
Watching this on the verge of tears....I know it's time, but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm broken.
+Jaime Collier you can do it. Look after yourself. I believe in you
Jaime Collier I'm in the same situation I just can't do it even though I know I should
Jaime Collier im about three months away from ending my first serious relationship and im far far better than i ever was during it. I remember the first month i felt so vulnerable and almost ran back but I stood strong and so glad i did. I know you dont know me, but if I could do it, you could do it. Like dodie said, you can be happy and you will be happy!
WooHoo507 I just ended my first ever relationship like an hour ago and god it hurts so bad
perfect timing i needed this today
hey dodie. rewatching this video at 27. it feels like i’m learning how to really be okay on my own for the first time (oof) and hearing this advice from a friendly face means a lot. hope you’re doing well.
I've watched this video at least over 15 times in the past few years and every time Im going through this sort of situation I always seem to come back to this video. You speak like a friend, its so comforting
This is literally perfect because a girl I really liked broke me
it will be ok :3
I'm sorry, I understand how you're feeling. It'll be alright
Rainbow Hoarder Stay strong 💛
Rainbow Hoarder. dame here but it was a guy. who destroyed me completely. I couldn't even look at something that reminded me of him I would cry and then continue to think about him . but then after I watched this video I realized. how much I missed out on around me . Thank you Dodie
Rainbow Hoarder I feel you, stay strong ♡
The world is a brighter place for you being in it, Dodie. Thank you for being a kind, uplifting person :)
i recently got out of a v toxic long term relationship and rewatched this video. it honestly feels like chatting with a friend and i appreciate that. dodie is so honest but also calming and i love that she keeps saying "it will hurt im sorry for that" it just feels real. thank you for helping me.
Aw man, I wish I had this video in early September. .
NH.-B early September for me too 😪
Marlene Dietrich Yeah, that seems to be a tragic month for quite a few people :(
same
exactly
its over now do u want me to wake u up?
its been nine months since I cut my best friend out of my life and it was really really tough for me. I've never had to do anything like it before and I didn't expect it to hurt so much for so long. Ultimately I know I was right to do it, and I think we've both been better since, but I still get moments when I remember some of the really great moments we had together. A big thing for me when I hit a particularly tough spot is I remind myself that sure, some of my best memories were with her, but there was a reason we don't talk anymore. it wasn't a healthy relationship in the end. I find it helps a lot to keep reminding yourself of who you cut ties with them in the first place because the desire to just forget about it and go back to them can be really overwhelming at times. This video was spot on though. Thank you for once again creating something that has helped me to feel more okay about myself and my own feelings and emotions :)
Its hard to cut ties with someone when they are going through a tough time because you want to be there for them, but there is a point in time where there negativity starts getting to you and you can't do anything except cut ties. That is what I have learned over this year and a half of finding out who I am.
I used to repeat this video again and again for weeks. I listened to it to go to sleep, when I was really sad. And now I returned to it and I'm so happy!! So so happy and proud of myself. I got over him and I feel sooo free. I still love him but it doesn't hurt, not a little bit.
thank you so much dodie for sharing this. exactly what I needed at this very moment. one day, when I look back at all the pain I’m feeling right now, I’m going to remember you and your words and how much this video has helped me realize a bunch of things. we love you 🌻
I just wanted to share a part of my life too, because cuting ties can only bring good things, even things you didn't expect to happen. I feel like it just applies to a break up situation, but maybe not :
My last girlfriend broke up with me after almost 3 years together. I had to leave our (her) appartment, and sleep on my friends couch for 4 month after that until I could get my own appartment. I was devastated and felt a lot of things : sadness, denial, anger... I embraced those feelings. It's important.
I had to keep touch with her because she still helped me and kept my stuff at her place, received my mail and I just couldn't "break up" with my 2 cats (that I left with her since I didn't have enough money and space for them, among other things).
Anyway, I was at my friends' for a while, and they helped me a lot. I stopped checking her FB after some time, and I shared my feelings with anyone who was ready to listen to me (my mom, strangers on the internet who are now realy good friends, my friends, my collegues...).
It was hard cuting ties, and I couldn't do it properly because of my situation but once I got back my stuff and had my own place, I only contacted her when I needed (forgot things there, still had some mail situation going on...). She sent me pictures of our/her/my cats from time to time because she knew I missed them, but nothing more.
And maybe after 7 or 8 months, I was okay, and asked her how she was doing. Since then we catch up on each other sometimes, she still send me pictures of my cats, we help each other and she supported me when girls played with me. I'm happy she's happy with her girlfriend, and she's happy I'm happy with mine.
We're kind of friends, I think. I don't know. But it doesn't hurt anymore and everything is just clear and simple and healthy.
So maybe, if you want to, you can keep touch with someone you loved :D. Just don't rush it, don't force it and take time for yourself. You'll be alright.
(I think my message is ok but just in case : sorry if my english is not perfect, I'm french :3. At least I tried ! :D)
The only reason I have a problem with cutting people off is because I know they'll attain phsycological damage too. Just as they've given me. And I hate that about myself. That I'm too nice and loving to cut people off although their presence angers me to the point where I scream pointlessly in the cafeteria at lunchtime (at nothing and no one in particular). And such a thing like this is stressful when I have Regents coming up. (Regents is a series of tests that New York thinks is a great way to test knowledge of high schoolers. My school is special so we do it in middle school). I don't have the time or mental preparation for this. But I know that I have to do this (I can't go through another year with these toxic relations with these people).
Hey! I know you posted this a year ago but I wanted to check in and see how you're doing! I know how hard it is to cut people off and it just adds to school stress, but.. yeah.. how are you, sis?
I remember watching this when you uploaded it and thinking "this will never apply to me, everyone in my life is so good for me" and now i need this video more than ever. Thank you so much dodie.
shit i needed this
like really badly
same dude, dame
same!
Olivia Wall i need this now :(
me too
I truly fell in love with my best friend. With all my heart. We met on a game and talked over Skype and it all continued from there. I was just so afraid of hurting her feelings that I never spoke a word when she had done something that hurt me (but I know it was always unintentional), plus we felt obligated to talk to each other all day without a break since that sort of established itself as a schedule and we were too afraid to switch it up, as that might hurt the other one. It collected over three years, and a few months ago we decided we had to stop talking because our friendship had just grown way too toxic. But everything about her... she lived a life I really wanted the whole time I've been alive; with good friends at a great school in a gorgeous country. She was the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and so sweet and I was so scared of losing her. She honestly was my everything... she was fulfilling in the times where I felt reduced to nothing. I doubt that if we ever meet again the old traces of our memories together could be repaired and we could have something healthy. I just can't seem to let it go at that. I wish so badly I could've instead known her in real life... I know I keep hoping for something I'll never get as it's far too late. But it's so hard to leave something so painful AND so great at the same time behind.
😢
I can express with words... how much I love the way you speak, the way you look, the way you express yourself , the way you smile...I can express with words how much I love u! you are my favourite youtuber and you deserve moreee subscribers !!?
*!!!
Didn't think I'd ever have to come back to this, but I'm glad it exists lol
ily dodie. glad i still have this saved.
I've recently had to cut ties with a girl I thought was my best friend. Going through this I have some advice for all of you. Here we go: You don't need them in your life. I thought I could never live without them yet I'm still standing here stronger than ever. There will be those nights were you cry your eyes out and you wanna give up but those nights make you stronger. You are loved and you are cherished. Love the friends you have now and appreciate them and go to them in your time of need. No matter how hard it gets remember you are a warrior and you can get through this. I did and if I did then you can too. I bet whoever you are that you are a great and beautiful and you should be treated with respect and whoever your cutting ties with doesn't treat you like that so their not needed in your life. Stay around those who love you and get through this with them by your side.
Dodie I think you should watch this again, it's soul medicine 💕💖
I used to be friends with some people who weren't really that good for me and looking back I realise I felt negative all the time because I was friends with them and it was basically a one-way street at one point and it was just really toxic and escalated to bullying. I eventually cut ties with the people concerned and, three (almost four) years later, I'm glad I did and I'm grateful for what that whole experience taught me about myself and how healthy friendships and relationships in general should work. It was actually around this time that you posted this video and it really helped me a lot and it was a comfort to know that I wasn't the only one going through a situation like that. Thank you Dodie
Step 1: Get a tie. Step 2: Get a pair of scissors. Step 3: Cut that fucked up. Step 4: Profit!
P.S. I know this is a serious subject, but as an Evan fan, I couldn't resist.
P.S. I know this is a serious subject, but as an Evan fan, I couldn't resist.
dont worry im in a tough situation and your comment gave me a well needed laugh XD
I don't understand step 3
sorry I can't do step three, too difficult, accidentally did the opposite, got too attached .... WOoOps
i'd do this but i'm scared the person will kill themselves. it hurts to talk with this person but i can't live with the blame
phil tøps Encourage them to get professional help. It's not fair to you to feel like someone's life is in your hands. That's not your job. Good luck!
Shannon B thank you :)
phil tøps if they act like or say they will kill themselves without you, that is manipulative & horrible of them. you cannot put yourself through a bad relationship/friendship because they've manipulated you into feeling too bad to leave them. it's not right, i know from experience.
try to get them help, tell someone they are close to, and then help yourself. you do not need to put yourself in harms way for someone like that.
stay safe, love.
Batteriacid thank you so much
phil tøps no problem,, i hope you have a lovely day, dude.
I just started falling in love with this guy for the first time in years but I have severe abandonment issues & my mind has instantly supplied me with reasons on why He’ll never feel that way for me & why I don’t deserve it...this really sucks.
Bailey B how’d it turn out yo? Hopefully well!💛
Same.. Today i just blocked him on every social media and i just feel so selfish but it'll get better in the long run
A year ago I watched this video and cried, and now several months later, im grateful and so much more happy after following your advice. Thank you so much Dodie, you are lovely!
Dodie cut ties to all the hufflepuffles she has left :`(
Lele she's still got me hehe I'm her friend (fantasies *sigh*)
That hurt me too
Lele what are you talking about ? :o
Lele That really hurt me 😂😂 Hufflepuff for ever!!
opdelecroix she said on her snapchat that she has realised that she is actually a ravenclaw... :(
I AM crying but i dont have any friends to cry to$:
How are you doing now?Are you alright?does it get better?
Hey Dodie, just wanted to let you know that this video came at an incredibly good timing for me. I just broke up with my boyfriend, of a year, a couple of days ago. It's bad but know it'll get better. Also, your EP has been on replay in my headphones since it came out! Absolutely love it! Keep up the fantastic work and thank you for your lovely words. ♥
I remember watching this video when it came out and younger me having never cut ties with someone. 3 years later I forgot bout this video 4 months after cutting ties. This was very cathartic and helpful. Still healing. To anyone out there who sees this, you are loved
I always have to come back to this video for different people and damn it hurts, but it’s always helpful, thankyou x
I broke up with my toxic ex. I was going to keep being friends, but I really couldn't deal with what they did to me. I kicked them out of my life.
He still haunts me but at least I'm in a better place. I'm so glad you made this video
+Hey Rae im so proud of you. you're such a strong person, especially after doing that.
Thank you, this has helped me so much. I was friends with this group of about 8 people and when they stopped talking to me it hurt. Now thanks to you, I think I will be able to cope a bit more. Thank you
The same thing basically happened to me this year
I watched this a year ago when I wasn't going through this, it popped up on my recommended today, and it's perfect timing, thank you Dodie
"supressing is not healthy" TELL THAT TO DAN
you dont know me deadass
My friends call me Dan lol
Did you come straight from a Dan Howell video XD
I read this as she said it lol
My friends all left me and it was not too bad untill my best friend just stopped interacting with me. And while we weren't dating, she was a really important part of my life for over 12 years
It's been a bit over 2 years. I'm pretty sure she doesn't even realize how much this impacted me. I still have dreams that we're friends and I can't bring myself to take down pictures of us I have on my walls.
And it's stupid cause it shouldn't be like this, friendships fade away all the time so why am I still hurting so much?
en-oo-kaunis hi. I’m so sorry to hear this. I feel the same way.
But what do I do if she confronts me and asks me why I don't want to be her friend any more? I've been trying to make her leave me alone but I don't want to be mean, but then again, she's toxic to my friendships and is preventing me from from making other friends. She's super clingy and i don't know what to do. Every time she asks me why we're not as close as we used to be I just chicken out and tell her that we're still friends (but I don't want us to be)
I'm sorry if that made no sense I'm just AAAAGH
+Lukeyousmellofmilk bumping this up if anyone has any advice!!
Thank you so much
Hannah thanks for the advice❤️
tell her how you feel/think. it will be the best for both of you. it will be off your heart and she will know where it went wrong. just silently cutting her out is not okay. sometimes the truth hurts the most, but a lie just makes it worse. telling the truth is like slapping someone, it hurts for a while but it goes away.
Harun Nur Sanctania thank you so much😊
I know I'm kinda doing the wrong thing by trying to cut her off silently so all this advice is helping ❤️
I started crying right before you said it’s okay to cry. When I watch your videos I feel like you’re the only person on Earth who can possibly understand my feeling and calm me down. Thank you. So. Much.
how to cut ties with cuties
tasminemma I thought when I got the video it said "How to Cuties" 😂
I wish I had this video a few months ago as I cut ties with someone very toxic and it was quite messy and I feel terrible about it but thank you for uploading this so many people need it x
shit i'm crying thank yoy
niamh scott you shouldn't feel terrible about it ❤. you did it for you and to get yourself to a better state of mind and life. (I've had to do this and I felt like the worst person ever. because my "friends" around me convinced me that I was the bad guy and that I shouldn't have ended things the way I did or at all. I eventually learned that others especially those "friends" who just half analyze the situation then shove blame are really bad to be around. and that you need to be extra careful on who all you listen to and take advice from.)
+Bobbi Gibbs thank you I am glad you are out of this horrible situation too. I am lucky my friends supported my decision especially as one of them had got out of it a few months earlier so I had to deal with all of the backlash from that. I feel bad because she was a very vulnerable person but I just couldn't stay friends with her. I am sorry your friends were such dicks
It took me a loooonggg time to break up with & get over my ex because I was scared, I didn't have ANY close friends that I could go to and complain or hang out and have fun, but in the end its all worth it, I'm so much happier now.
Even so, I loved this video so muchhh...
AmberAndGolden i dont mean to be rude or make you uncomfortable but since you didnt have friends to go to after the break up how did you deal with it? cause im kinda going throught that,actually i had to cut ties with the only person i considered my friend and its lonely af and whenever i try to get close to other people i keep comparing them to her and thinking that its not gonna work and it feels awful but i dont know what else to do
catnipevrdn No problem, That really sucks :( Im sorry thats happened to you! I generally just tried to do the things that I enjoyed doing, and it's hard to do after loosing someone but if you have a hobby that you like doing then try and get involved in it as much as possible, for me it was art/painting/drawing/making youtube videos..
If you can, try and find friends online or join a community, it can be hard but its a lot easier to make friends online that in person, especially if you have a hobby or passion in common..
Being productive, for me, was one of the best things..
I hope I helped..?? Sorry if this is useless for you, If you want to talk about anything feel free to message me on youtube or somewhere else?? Best of luck ;////;
its cruel & funny, how at the date this video was upload & seen by me i was like "man, sounds so hard & difficult, I can never even imagine myself passing for that with the love of my life, I don't wanna do that... in fact i'm not gonna do it causes that is not going to happen" y felt sad and cold... but distant from it.
...now, july 2017, after almost 2 months since break-up, youtube poped this again & man... wow, so much wisdom (hard wisdom, the kind that seem even "Not possible"), so much harsh & tuff & cold in reality that how it was in the thinking...
...sorry for the long comment, im just in a bad day, where i've been feeling that "its not possible" it hurts more than it should, but this gave me hope, cause some of those steps has already been walked, so... thank you, in days like these, you just want to feel listen & understood by someone else and you did that for me.
Cuddles.
Hey dodie! I love the background of this video (and I'm obsessed without your new ep:))
"I'm not a therapist" DODIE YES YOU ARE OML😂
three years later and still the most genuineness i have heard recently
what if the cutting ties part isnt mutual??? what if only one person wants to get out???
you should make a video about the situation then dodie....
+Harish Thangavel I don't have any advice on that :P anyone else have anything?
Harish Thangavel I think that's a case of the one getting out doing what's best for them. If you're that person you should never feel bad about it. Equally if you're the person they want to get away from, you need to find out if they're willing to talk it out with you and then you can come to a mutual understanding of space and separation or perhaps you working to improve the relationship
Harish Thangavel i'm going through the same thing except i'm the one who wants to cut ties with someone. if you're in the same situation, i guess that you shouldn't fight what you feel. if you feel like you have/want to say goodbye to someone, then do it. i don't think you have to talk it out with them. you just need to find closure, whether that's by writing them a letter, like dodie said, or simply just realizing "ah... maybe this person isn't meant to be a part of my life anymore". which is what happened to me. the moment i realized that, i just... went away from them. i knew they weren't going to change even after talking abt it (we've been 'arguing' for a few months now), but they texted me told me something that made me realize that we were too different to be friends. and it hurt me, but i did what i thought felt right and cut ties with them. and i don't regret it
i hope my comment helps you with what you're going through yourself! ^^
thanks
Harish Thangavel I kind of feel like I'm going through that, and the other person won't tell me what's wrong