That fucking Luke figure, Jesus Christ. I was actually tearing up trying not to laugh my head off, complete with the lump in the throat. I've had to take a short break to write this, lest I choke on my water and cause my keyboard to erupt like a Federation-built computer console. (which probably have fucking positronic circuits or something)
"What this actually is Stuart is somebody's mum who's come to pick them up from football practice wearing a fucking gilet." That's oddly specific and oddly conjures up way too much vitriol from Alec for that not to be linked to some sort of deep and personal childhood drama. Edit: Who said Larry?
Mobliz Don't light sabers cauterize the wound? Maybe he just owns a red glass sword and that's why Holiday Vader's saber doesn't glow. He spent all his money on the red armor and had to skimp on the weapon.
Star Wars zombies are a thing. They’ve shown up in some of Expanded Universe stories, both canon and otherwise. None of the main characters have ever been zombified, though, except for I believe Chewbacca briefly. (He was infected at one point, but got cured. I don’t know, I haven’t read Death Troopers, but I think I remember hearing this somewhere.) There were some bobbleheads released at one point of Star Wars characters as famous monsters, including a Stormtrooper zombie and a Vader Frankenstein, but that’s it.
That Constable Zuvio figure actually looks like a neat design. Like a cross between a Mortal Kombat Ninja and a NCR trooper. It's still stupid that they made all the figures before they even had a movie to attach them to but props to the designer if I were a kid I would want one of those.
@Meme Boi I would say no. Hirohiko Araki generally do his characters in poses inspired by Greek or Roman statues and paintings. He does it in everything he does, not only JoJo. And he wrote book about his technique.
That Red Darth Vader honestly looks cool, should be pretty expensive considering it's rare from the holiday special, but the Fact that it's from that special would make not let It be.
Seeing that Vader in Red Armor reminds me of this Comic I read which is Return of the Jedi set in an alternate timeline where Vader lived after becoming Anakin again and made his armor completely white.
The Luke Skywalker figure at the beginning broke me so much I had to pause the video to try and calm the laughter... only to replay it and start laughing again. It took me 2 hours to watch this!
Someone should make a Ashens pixelated video game, you could blowtorch, draw of purgatory or shelf the enemies, you play as ashens, travelling around the UK on THE GOOSE, trying to stop the silver skull from buying all the bootlegged toys in the world.
I watched this a few years back and hadn't seen Robocop beforehand, so when Stuart mentioned Dick Jones falling out the window, I somehow envisioned the titular robocop falling out of a window with his arms pinned to his side like a Garry's Mod statue.
OH MY GOSH! I had that Padma as a kid....I remember I used to send her down a string zip line OR I would make her dance...there was like a chain...a pillar and a monster or something that came in the set.
Great video, just goes to show that sometimes the official figures can just be as bad as the fake ones. I am surprised though that they didn't have a Willrow Hood figure.
Jesus Christ, people. He's been doing these Star Wars figures for a long while. He's always done them on the office sofa. But every time, the top comments are filled with "New Sofa?" and "I don't like this new sofa." Can you people not notice a pattern?
QUICK WE NEED STARWARS AND CHRISTMAS GO! err umm err ah aha AH YES I'VE GOT IT! "whisper whisper" YOU ARE BRILLANT YOU ARE GETTING A BONUS a red dathrader on a stand with some holly around him snow and his red light saber.....this seems more a poundland thing
The zombie Luke looks like an extra from the MJ thriller video, it definitely has a very close resemblance to dancing Jacko. The Lea looks like she's just finished her dressage practice and hasn't been changed yet.
I just found this channel a couple days ago I love how you guys make fun of these figures my friends and I do it all the time and those ones with the incredibly hard helmets to put on I found them at our 99 cent store for a dollar so I bought a whole bunch of stormtroopers
It's funny, I actually quite like the Constable Zivo figure. Not every day you can buy a figure of a character left on the cutting room floor. A representation of what could have been.
Even fucking lego figures have transparent visors I can understand kids buying this shit but if an adult spends money on product of such low quality its just irreddmable
Ahhh remember that scene from Empire Strikes Back where Vader emerges from a lake of blood, shouting "HO HO HO MERRY DEATHMAS"? That was my favourite moment from the whole trilogy.
Darth Vader figure: Reminds me of an old LucasArts game for the C64 called Night Shift where you played a factory worker making toys for "Industrial Might and Logic". And you had to paint the toys certain colors or you'd get it wrong. Well someone accidentally made a batch of red Vaders and went "What the hell are we going to do with these?" The Padme figure: Look At My Crotch Amidala comes with everything you see here. Go-Go cage sold separately, resemblance to the actress not included. Luke Figure: "Ugh, first I kiss my sister and then my mother stands like THAT?" Finn figure: with EXTREME SHIRT CHANGING ACTION! Leia figure: I'm with Ashens, it resembles Leia enough to be recognizable but it's generic enough that kids can play with it and actually have an imagination. Fat extra figure: These only exist for the obsessives. Kids don't want to play with that. They want to pretend they're actually in the movie. It's the one Coach Z bought. Constable figure: Yeah, that sounds about right. What you want to bet they'll stick the character in some cartoon or the next film and then price their existing stock stupidly high or something?
A new couch? Everything is suddenly weird and scary, is what I would say if I was a fucking idiot. Also when things start off with a shiny red 'holiday edition' Darth Vadar, you know things are going to be a mess for the rest of these figures. Thanks, Hasbro.
MGlBlaze This is supposedly the office couch and solo videos still feature the brown couch. This was recorded at the office because I guess they couldn't be bothered to go to Stuart's house to film.
As far as action action figures go, I had an anikin and Obi Wan that you’d squeeze their legs and their limp arms would fly around with a lightsaber. It was almost better choreographed than the movie
Just imaging horribly burned Anakin Skywalker bein' all cheery as his armor machine switches him into his holiday colors is giving me giggles.
@@triplesevensix291 Either you were drunk, or you are a complete and utter waste of oxygen
@@Koendabomb I'm gonna assume it was both just to paint this guy as a squeeze punchy low life and a professional scumbag.
@@vrona8649 wait what happened, what did he say
That’s not the only thing to make you giggle...
Fresh Prince Of Africa he’s. not the one who needs to earn english
*snaps Padme in half*
It seems, ashens, in your anger, you killed her.
Does Ashens hate sand?
"NOOOOOOOOOOoh, bloody hell."
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
"yeah, padme may be dead, but we at least we gained a space nappy."
@@yadabub yes and FUCKING INFLATABLE FUCKING CROWNS
I can't stop laughing at Ape Man Luke. They made the figure to be posed in a very specific way and the illusion falls apart almost instantly.
"Did anyone really need holiday edition Darth Vader?"
Well now I do
Luper Duper How about a star wars themed Xmas tree 😉
The red looks kinda badass
"So festive! SO GODDAMN FESTIVE!"
@@CJODell12 agree
Apparently even in LEGO form (not joking)
That fucking Luke figure, Jesus Christ. I was actually tearing up trying not to laugh my head off, complete with the lump in the throat. I've had to take a short break to write this, lest I choke on my water and cause my keyboard to erupt like a Federation-built computer console. (which probably have fucking positronic circuits or something)
The Luke figure looks like a Scooby Doo villain
Or Riff Raff from Rocky Horror
Jeepers it’s the Creeper!
Stone Roses singer Ian Brown is angry lukes twin bro haha.
His face looked like hulk to me
Brendon Terra Yes I thought the same.
I've heard the copyright neutral knockoff Star Wars music so often that it's now what I think about instead of the real Star Wars music.
Pretty sure that shit had the Overwatch theme in it
John Williams stole the star wars music anyway...
Christmas Vader looks better if you consider him to be "Drenched in the blood of his enemies" Vader.
Nuclear Cherries I was going to make that joke.
Blake Gilbert me too
The cape that falls off is the nice touch.
Like the Sith Troopers, even-more-sith-Vader.
"Emperor's Royal Guard" Vader, maybe?
Luke with balcony killing action!
BTW, Star Wars zombies is a thing.
Operation Black Wing?
The Walker Dead!
@@Mandalorian-ss8cw deathtroopers were an elite Unit of stormtroopers, Operation blackwing is the zombie thing
Luke Skywalker APE MAN!!
That Leia looks like she's just finished a shift at the supermarket.
Is that the uniform of Empire Supermarket?
Geoffrey Walsh Netto’s Leia
1. Deck The Halls with Rebel Entrails - 1:05
2. Madme Jazz-a-Dancer - 4:25
3. Lurch Skrunchshuffler - 6:40
4. Sanitation Trooper - 10:45
5. Woe Damn - 13:41
6. Hoth Base Princess Leia - 15:57
7. Ree Ree Tits - 18:35
8. Cuntstubble Who? - 21:48
9. Woe Damn, Special Edition - 24:05
Luke skywalker - angry ape man made me literally cry with laughter
Angry Luke with his arms down looks like Michael Jackson doing the Thriller dance.
Dave Poole
Omg, i was thinking the same! 😂
Thriller dancing off to never never land...
i was just about to say that
That Luke skywalker had me laughing so hard it hurt!
same XD
+boer harms Poh wat n' mooie trekker.
I was fucking crying
Woke my wife up laughing at it...
He looks like a moody teenager! (Well, a moody 23-year-old, anyway)
You probably didn't recognize me because of my red everything
Underrated comment😂
When Stuart said "STAY AWAYYY" in the hissing voice I fell out of my chair laughing
The luke figure that swings both arms downwards is legitimately the funniest action figure I've ever seen in my life.
@9:26 Luke Skywalker does an impression of the Creeper from Scooby doo.
MagicianFairy Glad I'm not the only one that noticed this.
He looks like shaggy if he was really pissed off...
Made me think of the Michael Jackson "Thriller" dance lol
This channel could only do star wars figure knockoffs and ashens would be set for life.
Devon Palmer vI'd be happy if he only did food specials or vintage UK gaming
If he only did food specials he'd eventually die from food poisoning.
He'd never run out of material that's for sure.
Stuart should be more pirate figures, also I wonder if he was ever married.
The sad thing is, these are all official figures..
"What this actually is Stuart is somebody's mum who's come to pick them up from football practice wearing a fucking gilet."
That's oddly specific and oddly conjures up way too much vitriol from Alec for that not to be linked to some sort of deep and personal childhood drama.
Edit: Who said Larry?
Larry? This is Alec lol
It reminds me of a posh mother who hangs around at the local stable, but never actually rides a horse.
Well shit.
It's just Vader after a long fight and he's covered in blood. Cutting people in half with light-sabers can be pretty messy!
Mobliz Don't light sabers cauterize the wound? Maybe he just owns a red glass sword and that's why Holiday Vader's saber doesn't glow. He spent all his money on the red armor and had to skimp on the weapon.
So Rogue One Vader then?
That Luke Skywalker's face looks like a disgusted Tyrion Lannister.
That Vader sculpt is the same as my old holographic Vader. The only difference is that the holographic one is transparent blue.
0:06 That Star Wars theme soundalike is the audio definition of disappointment.
you love it though. I do too.
It's like having sandpaper shoved in your ears.
I actively skip it, it annoys me that much
Imagine the poor bloke that had to make that in order to pay rent
I like it
The kill me was so in sync it hurts
10:12 Luke telling the emperor to suck it.
Ironman1o1 we got two words for ya!
Star Wars zombies are a thing. They’ve shown up in some of Expanded Universe stories, both canon and otherwise. None of the main characters have ever been zombified, though, except for I believe Chewbacca briefly. (He was infected at one point, but got cured. I don’t know, I haven’t read Death Troopers, but I think I remember hearing this somewhere.) There were some bobbleheads released at one point of Star Wars characters as famous monsters, including a Stormtrooper zombie and a Vader Frankenstein, but that’s it.
ajzeg01 Luke was for awhile brain slug got him he got better
Also the Nightsister zombies, they were in Clone Wars I think.
@@zombiethezerker of course someone named zombieslayer would know this little known fact lol
There was also the ones from the second star wars galaxy of terror novel
IIRC that was Project Blackwing in action.
Festive Darth Vader’s expression! 😆 He actually manages to look surprised and embarrassed.
I haven't laughed as hard as I did at Angry Luke in a long damn time. Thanks, Ashens.
That Constable Zuvio figure actually looks like a neat design. Like a cross between a Mortal Kombat Ninja and a NCR trooper. It's still stupid that they made all the figures before they even had a movie to attach them to but props to the designer if I were a kid I would want one of those.
so you mean that degenerate figure belongs on a cross
Being on a cross sure beats patrolling the Mojave.
It almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter.
Hey it’s solidus snake
It reminds me of Reptile (MK) + Samurai Jack's Ultra-Robots
9:27 Oh my god thats literally the Creeper from Scooby Doo
I actually own the slashing Luke figure, a gem in my collection I must say.
If it was the real Star Wars theme at the beginning it wouldn't be the same
4:29 "Rendition of Padme Amadala, designed by Hirohiko Araki."
Daze
@Meme Boi I would say no. Hirohiko Araki generally do his characters in poses inspired by Greek or Roman statues and paintings. He does it in everything he does, not only JoJo. And he wrote book about his technique.
[attacked by that tiger thing from Episode II]
OOOOHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOO
That Red Darth Vader honestly looks cool, should be pretty expensive considering it's rare from the holiday special, but the Fact that it's from that special would make not let It be.
8:33 Luke Skywalker looks like a classic 60's Scooby-Doo villain with Marfan Syndrome.
80s GIJoes has such perfect articulations and movements. I'll never understand why it didn't become the gold standard for all action figures.
Seeing that Vader in Red Armor reminds me of this Comic I read which is Return of the Jedi set in an alternate timeline where Vader lived after becoming Anakin again and made his armor completely white.
9:56
Ashens doing a Goodfella-esk mobster voice as Luke is comedy I never knew I needed 🤣
125 years from now, that red festive Darth Vader will be worth £75,000.
125 year from now on we would have had a real star wars
125 years from now £75,000 is what a can of coke will cost...
@@Sheepy007 lol nah, we'll all be dead
The Luke Skywalker figure at the beginning broke me so much I had to pause the video to try and calm the laughter... only to replay it and start laughing again. It took me 2 hours to watch this!
Hunckback Elephant Man Skywalker, he's not an animal, he's a Jedi!
Robert Turner kept reminding me of Smooth Criminal Michael Jackson.
It's Luke Skywalker at the Ministry of Silly Walks.
iam16bits He still won't get a grant.
Luke looks like he's either about the make me an offer I can't refuse or revolt against his human oppressors.
Someone should make a Ashens pixelated video game, you could blowtorch, draw of purgatory or shelf the enemies, you play as ashens, travelling around the UK on THE GOOSE, trying to stop the silver skull from buying all the bootlegged toys in the world.
The Luke part had me crying with laughter! XDDDD
I watched this a few years back and hadn't seen Robocop beforehand, so when Stuart mentioned Dick Jones falling out the window, I somehow envisioned the titular robocop falling out of a window with his arms pinned to his side like a Garry's Mod statue.
I was crying laughing during the zombie luke figure, especially when you started to move the arms again. Ohh my sides.
The angry Luke figure and the collapsing Padme were the best. :D
The Luke sabre action figure goes past crap to amazing, It's glorious.
But star wars zombies is a thing! (Death Troopers). The figure fits perfectly xD
That figure isn't Oscar Issac, it's Columbo. It even includes the trench coat.
OlagGan I just spit my drink
"Two of TH-cam's most darling idiots." Lol, you two are wonderful, don't ever change. 🥰
OH MY GOSH! I had that Padma as a kid....I remember I used to send her down a string zip line OR I would make her dance...there was like a chain...a pillar and a monster or something that came in the set.
Also her discolored "nappy" was also always discolored..I remember that discoloration as a kid as well.
"I'd make her dance, there was a chain..." your childhood sounds messed up :P
I need that Luke. Oh my fucking lord.
Great video, just goes to show that sometimes the official figures can just be as bad as the fake ones.
I am surprised though that they didn't have a Willrow Hood figure.
Darth Vader in all red armor is kind of a badass idea without considering it as Christmas themed
9:00 It's Luke Skywalker with Cerebral Palsy action!
If you replace Luke's light saber with an axe, you have a lumberjack action figure
Jesus Christ, people. He's been doing these Star Wars figures for a long while. He's always done them on the office sofa. But every time, the top comments are filled with "New Sofa?" and "I don't like this new sofa." Can you people not notice a pattern?
Kabobawsome I think the dull, matte grey of this sofa is better for star wars honestly
The "New Sofa" is from a long time ago in a galaxy far away. The "Old Sofa" is actually visiting from the future.
QUICK WE NEED STARWARS AND CHRISTMAS GO!
err umm err ah aha AH YES I'VE GOT IT!
"whisper whisper"
YOU ARE BRILLANT YOU ARE GETTING A BONUS
a red dathrader on a stand with some holly around him snow and his red light saber.....this seems more a poundland thing
That Padme figure looks like she about to best Usain Bolt on the tracking field.
8:25 when Vader and Padme ground luke
Padme throwing a JoJo pose. To me that's in about the same tier as Squidward dabbing.
Whatabout HANDSOME SQUIDWARD posing?
Anikan made me cry... with laughter!
Budder anikan? What is that? Is it consumable?
JoJo posing Padmé
yare yare daze
metalmugen I was hoping someone would say that.
Red Darth Vader? What's next? Red Storm Troopers? Don't be ridiculous.
Ashens perfectly predicted Leia flying through space like superman...
The zombie Luke looks like an extra from the MJ thriller video, it definitely has a very close resemblance to dancing Jacko.
The Lea looks like she's just finished her dressage practice and hasn't been changed yet.
okay, that Luke is probably the best Star Wars figure I've ever seen
Banana visor, its the next level in space flight!
Right up there with Starfoxes "cut your ankles off" technique.
I kinda like festive Vader to be honest
I just found this channel a couple days ago I love how you guys make fun of these figures my friends and I do it all the time and those ones with the incredibly hard helmets to put on I found them at our 99 cent store for a dollar so I bought a whole bunch of stormtroopers
I've never laughed that much with a TH-cam video like I have with Luke saying "What are you doing Tony!?", shite
That Luke with the "lightsaber chopping action" could pass as a "Ministry of Silly Walks" figure with the arms down...
The Luke Skywalker figurine had me in tears xD
This is the quality content I subscribed for, this and the vomit food reviews with technical difficulties.
9:31 the end of thriller when Michael turns back at the camera to reveal he really is a zombie
It's funny, I actually quite like the Constable Zivo figure. Not every day you can buy a figure of a character left on the cutting room floor. A representation of what could have been.
Luke "The Sasquatch" Skywalker is by far my favorite thing!
8:48 I've always wanted Luke Skywalker doing the Thriller dance.
Even fucking lego figures have transparent visors
I can understand kids buying this shit but if an adult spends money on product of such low quality its just irreddmable
Just rewatched this vid and the flying Princess has a new meaning now. Talk about foreshadowing :) Well done gentlemen, well done.
He looks like he took the elevator from The Shining.
Just as I was about to go to sleep, Ashens think of my sleep schedule dammit!
Ahhh remember that scene from Empire Strikes Back where Vader emerges from a lake of blood, shouting "HO HO HO MERRY DEATHMAS"? That was my favourite moment from the whole trilogy.
You guys just ruined my childhood and perhaps my adulthood by showing me a zombie Luke Skywalker. Thanks for that guys.
That Luke Skywalker figure is amazing. I want it.
Darth Vader figure: Reminds me of an old LucasArts game for the C64 called Night Shift where you played a factory worker making toys for "Industrial Might and Logic". And you had to paint the toys certain colors or you'd get it wrong. Well someone accidentally made a batch of red Vaders and went "What the hell are we going to do with these?"
The Padme figure: Look At My Crotch Amidala comes with everything you see here. Go-Go cage sold separately, resemblance to the actress not included.
Luke Figure: "Ugh, first I kiss my sister and then my mother stands like THAT?"
Finn figure: with EXTREME SHIRT CHANGING ACTION!
Leia figure: I'm with Ashens, it resembles Leia enough to be recognizable but it's generic enough that kids can play with it and actually have an imagination.
Fat extra figure: These only exist for the obsessives. Kids don't want to play with that. They want to pretend they're actually in the movie. It's the one Coach Z bought.
Constable figure: Yeah, that sounds about right. What you want to bet they'll stick the character in some cartoon or the next film and then price their existing stock stupidly high or something?
A new couch? Everything is suddenly weird and scary, is what I would say if I was a fucking idiot.
Also when things start off with a shiny red 'holiday edition' Darth Vadar, you know things are going to be a mess for the rest of these figures. Thanks, Hasbro.
MGlBlaze This is supposedly the office couch and solo videos still feature the brown couch. This was recorded at the office because I guess they couldn't be bothered to go to Stuart's house to film.
The Luke Skywalker figure looks like that green guy off the old Scooby Doo cartoons!
the synchronous "kill me" made me spit my soylent all over the sodding place.
"Episope 623.18/7"
I love this channel.
As far as action action figures go, I had an anikin and Obi Wan that you’d squeeze their legs and their limp arms would fly around with a lightsaber. It was almost better choreographed than the movie
That Luke figurine was so funny I almost barfed.
If star wars Zombies were a thing
it is a thing
the jedi luke figure with it's arms down legit looks like he's moonwalking
You missed the best part... Luke has 6 fingers!! th-cam.com/video/os1-DKWjabg/w-d-xo.htmlm40s
I'm so glad i stumbled upon this channel, 5 stars lmao's all day
Red Phantom Vader invader.