PARENT LIFE: Terrible Tantrums of a 2 year old...
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 ต.ค. 2024
- LEX LOVES LOS
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PARENT LIFE: Terrible Tantrums of a 2 year old...#HELP Episode 174
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My husband and I copy what our kids do! That usually gets them to stop because we annoy them. 😂 We have 3 boys so we had to get creative.
Hey guys I have a degree in early childhood and experience working in nursery schools (2years to 4 years old) you are doing great and tantrums are natural, however, time out is actually not effective at his age! He’s too young to understand that you want him to calm down. At his age putting him in time out is saying “we don’t care about what’s upsetting you and we want you to be quiet” which is angering and upsetting him more. Just Be consistent with discipline, it’s the only way they will learn. If you threaten something as a consequence carry through with it even if you really don’t want to and only threatened him to ‘scare’ him into stopping. Also don’t restrain him as he will begin to associate being upset with fighting as he is fighting to get free. (Pavlov’s classical conditioning theory can give you a better understanding of this) Tantrums are natural for his age, and unless he or others is in danger it’s best to let him express himself. Try finding a way for him to express his feelings to you. Tantrums occur because children are at an age where they know what they want and know what they want you to know but they don’t have the tools to express it just yet. Try redirecting his attention, and before you tell him no show something which he is allowed that will get his attention then explain that what he has or wants is not what he can have. A big one, which is very difficult, but try avoiding the word “No.” if you say no you get an immediate tantrum but simply saying “that’s not yours” or “it’s not time for that just yet” or “that’s mommas give it back and we will get oceans his.” Using positive language gets a better result. Also praise him for good behaviour, especially if he has gotten into trouble for it before, I.e. if he gets into trouble for not doing what he was told (like being asked to get off something he climbed on) praise him for good listening the next time he gets off it once you have asked. Make a big deal out of “good listening Ocean! Thank you for listening to me, that’s a good boy! Good job!” Hug him and high five him. Make him see that doing the right thing brings positive results. Praise every good behaviour. You guys do praise him a lot already, I’ve noticed that before, but be more intentional. Praise the good behaviour and make it a big deal. For example I f eating his dinner is an issue, praise every bite and then celebrate if he finishes his plate. Tell everybody that’s around him when he does “look grandpa ocean ate everything tonight isn’t that awesome, he did such a great job” most people will celebrate when they get told a little kid has done something even if to them it’s nothing important. Also invest in timers. LIFESAVERS! Kids have no concept or understanding of time. In our classroom we have 30 seconds, 1 minute, 2 minutes, 3 minutes, 5 minutes and 10 minute timers that are colour coded for the kids and they make it so much easier. Just explain he can have the toy, or movie, or whatever until the timer is finished, or if you wish to use time out as a last resort, call it the thinking chair/spot and give him the 2 or 3 minute timer. That way he is taken away from the situation, given a spot to sit on to calm down (try to use the same place as consistency is key with kids). Explain he’s on the chair for whatever reason and you are setting him there because he is too upset and needs to cool off. Tell him when the timer is finished, I will come and get you and we will fix the problem. If he gets off put him back until he is calm, then together discuss the problem and have a solution for him. Make the solutions smaller, instead of you can’t help daddy cut down trees as you will get hurt, say we are going to get our shoes on, go to the window and cheer on daddy as he takes down the trees. When daddy is all done, we can go outside to look at them. Give him steps to follow. First this, then that is also a good theory to manage behaviour. First we are going to put our toys away, then we can go outside. Hope this helps in anyway (obviously not everything is going to work for ocean but use your momma judgement! Just remember good behaviour is taught, so results won’t be immediate but stick with it! You’ve got this guys.!) also side note: oceans world is about to get completely rocked... and he knows it. A new baby is a huge shock to the system for any child, but especially the oldest and current only child. When a change in behaviour happens try to look at what is happening in his little life. Is he ill, are one of you ill, has the weather changed, has his routine changed, there are so many factors that can affect behaviour so prepare for it and make him as comfortable as possible. Remember to refer to Kingston as his baby brother, not momma’s baby. “Your baby is here, momma needs to feed your baby,” and bring a gift from Kingston to ocean to the hospital. Let ocean know the baby is for him, not something for mom and dad to give all the attention too. You two are currently the biggest and most important things in oceans life, when Kingston comes he won’t be able to understand that he can and has to share you now, especially lex, and he only knows how to let out those feelings through a tantrum. Prepare him by letting him know Kingston is for him, then he will feel pride and love and will accept this ‘new’ person into his family, without seeing him as something which took away his family and his safety net. Hope this helps in any way, praying for wisdom and guidance, and for a safe delivery ❤️
Carolyn X this is such good advice. I do a lot of these things with my niece and her tantrums have definitely died down. She is actually her calmest with me and her parents are implementing some of our strategies. Kids just want to feel like there are heard and understood so I found even simple things like using ‘baby voice’ can trigger my niece because she realises that you only speak to her like that.
But by being very purposeful in how we treat her, my niece has gone from throwing constant tantrums from when her brother born a year ago to very few and far between normally when she’s really tired. I will definitely keep a note of everything you’ve said and try it for the next tantrum.
Omolayo Oluwadare thank you! 😊 managing behaviour is so difficult but often taking a step back and trying to get to the true root of the issue is so important! Letting the child feel heard and understood is also important as tantrums are a direct result of a lack of communication tools and we as the adults are responsible for helping them to express themselves in a positive manner! Thats why when a child is verbal telling them to “use your words” whenever they are upset is so beneficial as it is a simple reminder that they have the tool now and using it will get them a better result than whining or screaming 😊
Your house is legit our dream house! Airy, simple, beachy and homey feeling. Absolutely amazing 😍🙏🏾
Words of wisdom for a two year old.
It sounds mean to do but just ignore him let him cry it out stay calm but just let him cry himself out he will soon realise crying won't get him anywhere.
I absolutely love how honest and real you guys are. Some youtubers try to act like their kids are perfect angels. Love you guys keeping it real.
And my boyfriend always says everything needs salt . Lol.
AMEN! 🙌🏽🙏🏾
When my daughter had tantrums, I would let her do it for awhile, then talk to her. I would tell her that she was going to have a tummy ache and sleep a long time and her toys will miss her. She calmed down a bit and I would give her a sippy cup of iced apple juice and water mix together. Now, she is 17yrs old and a good kid! I Thank God for my Christina every single day! You two are awesome and loving parents. Thank you for sharing your lives with us! God bless❤
“Please read the directions, babe.”
- Alexa PenaVega, 2019 😂
Omg I love you guys so much! Still a huge fan of Big Time Rush as well!
I'm going to give you a bit of advice in a "bad" word: patience. You did the right thing giving him a time out and enforcing it with the stroller. When my son was that age, if he had a tantrum, we would not acknowledge the tantrum but acknowledge when he showed better behavior. Sometimes it took a while, but that is how he learned that tantrums do not make things go his way. I also think that he is sensing the baby getting close and he wants to make sure he gets attention for himself. As the Bible says, this too shall pass. Love you guys!
I hope carlos just does one whole labor vlog so we don't have to wait years for the second part lol but keep keeping on yall love watching ya -- two people from different parts of my childhood
Carlos trying to blend those dates and not following or reading the recipe had me rolling 😂😂😂
The editing recently has me cracking up 😂 love y’all!
Being a mom or dad is one of the most beautiful, important, and toughest jobs in the entire universe! Ocean is blessed to have parents that love him and love the Lord. I am praying for y'all to have that wisdom to know what your son needs. After all the One who made Him knows Him the best right? Have you thought about using oils on Ocean for emotions? All the Young Living mamas I know use oils on their kiddos---especially calming oils (peace and calming, chamomile, etc) and the emotion oils like White Angelica, Release, Valor. Also, after 20 years of working with children and hearing from countless parents, cutting WAY back on screen time (and taking 100% breaks every so often) have been a huge blessing because we have seen children become calmer, kinder and more creative in a matter of days, sometimes hours. God bless you Carlos and Alexa! May you have incredible grace and peace in the journey of raising all your children for the glory of God.
How on Earth does Ocean sleep through all that noise?! Blender?? Vaccum?! That's a good sleeper!!
Sometimes you have to let ocean scream it out. Long as he is fed, bottom is clean, and all needs are taken care of. Letting him get it out is all you can do. It gets better. Take it one day at a time.
I don't know if this will actually be read by you guys BUT:
I am a daycare teacher, and I had multiple boys who would have tantrums that sounded just like that, haha! As a class we read a book called "Glad Monster, Sad Monster: A Book About Feelings" by Ed Emberly and Anne Miranda. They loved seeing all the different monsters and would say things like "I'm the pink monster because I love my mom!" Or "I'm the yellow monster because playing with my friends makes me happy too!"
These same boys also liked to throw things when they felt upset or began to have tantrums. So what I did in my classroom is have a Calm Corner away from anything/everyone else so they can decompress by themselves, and it had tools like DIY sensory glitter bottles, squishy toys (like stress balls), a soft mat to jump on, etc. For the boys who liked to throw, I copied a photo of the Angry Monster from the book and posted it on the wall. I then gave the boy(s) a beanbag and told them to throw it at the monster as hard as they could to get the anger/feelings out. It was done away from other kids, didn't hurt anyone, and still allowed them to get their energy out while throwing things. I bet you are thinking "But if I allow him to throw things when he is upset, he will learn that that kind of behavior is ok" but I promise you as he gets older and expectations increase a little more over time he will phase out of that throwing behavior. It worked on all my tantrum boys.
Another idea is to use an old (and washed out) gallon-size milk jug and fill it with sand---enough for him to be able to push it around semi-easily. When he starts a tantrum, ask him to do random tasks with the Sand Milk Jug like "will you be mommy's/daddy's helper and push that milk jug into the kitchen?" *Allow time for task to be completed* "Now can you move it to the living room?" *Allow time for task to be completed* "Now how fast can you push it to the bedroom? Ready, Set, Go!" And shortly his focus should no longer be on the tantrum but on the tasks you give him and he will release some of that built up energy by pushing it around the house. Of you don't want sand in your house, do it outside around the house. Depending on his abilities, you could ask him to pick it up even, like lifting weights with Daddy/Mommy and do it together. Practice counting to 5 or 10, or sing the ABCs while doing it. So many endless possibilities!!!!
I hope that helps! This will pass in His time! ✝️
My 3-year-old cannot be reasoned with when she is in the midst of a meltdown, I just have to sit and let her have her fit, let out the "big feelings" as we call it and let her know that I am here to hug her and help when she is ready. Do what works best for you. You are awesome parents! Also, be careful using the stroller during a timeout he may start to associate the two and rebel when you need him to be in it for something else.
i think just letting him continue to throw the tantrum is the best. as long as he isnt hurting himself or anyone else.
its like if you try to get him to calm down, its like adding fuel to the fire. he will eventually tire himself out.
you guys are doing great. keep it up!
WOW: Don’t pray for more patience, instead pray for my grace. Because if you pray for more patience than God will give you more difficult situations to produce more patience inside of you.
When carlos started the food processor, I was wondering why there was no liquid in there hahaha A for Effort
WOW: all parents have been there from time to time. Just keep putting God first, when Ocean has a tantrum make sure he’s safe (like in his stroller), and give yourself grace. None of us are perfect, you may occasionally lose your cool. I also had a strong willed child, and I often would pray out loud for him when he had rough moments - this was to show him that we always turn to God, and it also put God in the middle of the moment. God bless! 🙏🏼
Heather Forrester Love this ❤️
carlos singing at the end gives me flashbacks of big time rush days 😂
I got through that stage by singing loud and joining them 🤷🏻♀️😂 otherwise i would have lost my head.
I love how they barely wear clothes! Just like no shirts and shorts! I think it’s just so beautiful and freeing to be able to be in your home like that with your whole family.
Yes and God bless. Glad to know I'm not alone in the 2 tantrums! 😊
You guys are too cute
I have a 2&3 year old, I understand the tantrum struggle. Kids will be crazy cranky kids, on occasion, I guess🤷🏻♀️
Loving the episode influx, God bless!
I can't get enough of this family. I feel so much positivity through the screen! Sending love and positivity back
My son is almost 3 and he’s been going through tantrums since turning 2. Some are epic and he gets aggressive which is when I do the 2 minute time out (just a quiet spot he can calm down) but most of the time it’s reassurance and comfort he needs.
Y'all are so down to earth & genuine! I love your vlogs & especially the Hallmark movies y'all are in!! 💕
Praying for y'all & for a safe delivery Lex!!
This is amazing, I love that y'all put him in the stroller. I've never thought of that!!!
Gentle approach parenting is hard! Our daughter is three now and we were never able to correct certain behavioral issues with the gentle approach alone. Spanking is clutch! I still love aspects of gentle parenting and valuing the child's emotional well being. Merging methods has helped us not to focus on just "correcting behavior" but the cause of behaviors, too. Allowing tantrums to go on was like our breaking point- we just couldn't. Whichever way you go, I'm so glad you're loving Ocean with everything God has given you. Praying for your resilience through parenting! It doesn't get easier, but we get better at it.
I totally feel ya, I have 3 kids, one of which is 2.. the tantrums are so rough, like throwing his body down and kicking and screaming rolling around on the floor. What usually helps him is we tell him to let us know when he’s done so we can talk to him. Eventually he stops crying and says “I’m all done now” 😂. Hang in there, it’s just a season, and we’ll all look back on these days and laugh over these fun moments 😅. Also, side note, purification helps when I get bit if the lavender isn’t quite strong enough. And last side note, when I first used dates in a vanilla protein shake, I didn’t know you had to pit them either 🤷♀️💙.
Bless you guys for being such patient parents. I’m recently new to your guy’s vlogs but I’m really loving it! Sending you guys lots of blessings and that everything goes well when Kingston arrives.
Sooo... I have been a fan of Alexa since spy kids (we are the exact same age lol) and I NEVER knew y’all had a TH-cam channel! You guys are beautiful 😍
I get such a family feeling whenever I watch them, you guys are great!
Oh man! I am not a mother but I do work with kids A LOT. But all I’m saying is, you’re doing a good job! I feel like parents need to hear that more often. Cause kids are so hard.
As soon as he put those dates in there, I was thinking, THE PITS!? lol
That’s such a nice pantry!!!! You guys have such a lovely home I hope to one day have a home like that
That idea about using the stroller is genius. I have a 1 1/2 year old but I’ll definitely remember that in the future for tantrums! Love you guys!
Man I don't miss the 2s!!!! For my son, the 3s were worse so hopefully they get better!! He is 4 now and his sister is 8, it does get better I promise. Just keep putting him in time out and he will soon understand that if he stops sooner, he gets out sooner. We've all been there :)
I get so excited whenever I see a new episode was uploaded, you guys are amazing. LOVE all your videos 😍😍😍😍
Barbara T same!! 😊👍
Carlos is such a dad
first he didn't read the instructions on how to make whatever he's making and he almost fucked up the food processor
My dad would probably do the same thing
You guys when Ocean was throwing a tantrum is literally me with my 2 year old 😫😫 But we got this through Christ we can do this ❤
I love this! God bless you guys... you will survive the 2’s
You know ur getting old when that clip of the carpet being clean was satisfying now I want one 😂😂
You know what's cool Carlos? You look like my dad not even kidding and i look at you and start crying because i think he's still here by me looking at you but also, he's not suffering anymore
the method my parents used when I was a kid that completely stopped my tantrums was basically not humoring me. you have to make little oce understand that no matter how much he screams or cries or throws things, he won't get what he wants unless you want him to have it. but if he screams and you humor him and give the screaming importance, he's going to learn that he has an effect on you. and the next time he'll scream louder and longer until you listen to him. haha good luck guys, parenting is hard but its super rewarding too!
First of all I just want to say I love you guys!! I've been following you for a few years now! Since before Ocean!! I am a mother of 5 and now a grandmother to 1 precious little 17 mth old girl! When our kids were younger, we went through a parenting class called "Growing Kids God's Way" by Dr. Ezzo. We didn't use ALL the stuff taught but many principles worked great for our little ones. We have a 9 yr gap between our 19yr old and our 10 yr old. So we needed a refresher and found "Parenting On Purpose" by Bob Barnes. Great stuff there also!! Check out both of these! You will pick up some great tips and lessons on how to parent through the toddler years and beyond! POP has a podcast you can subscribe to! I know you guys will do great though! Keep trusting God and learn all you can on how to raise Godly children! Love you both!
God bless you guys. Being parents isn't easy. And it seems like y'all are doing your best. We all learn from trial and error! It gets overwhelming at times. Sometimes you just dont know what to do. Its always a guessing game. You guys seem very patient. I commend you for that. I'd be losing my mind. Something God is working through me right now. Is not getting so easily frustrated. Let them let out their feelings some, but yet still be calm and stern with them. Help them to understand you are there, but will not tolerate them acting out. God's got yall always! As long as we lean on his understanding and not our own. Yall are wonderful parents, and God blessed yall greatly to be those parents and to share the word of God. Much love 🤲💜
Btw I have a 2 year old daughter and a 4 yr old son. Lol . I love them so much! It's not always easy! But, always worth it. Because no matter what, they love you still, and the end of the day! And like Jesus, they are always so forgiving 🥰 Always hold onto that:)
I always love the editing 😍😊
My niece was like this at his age. Every child is different BUT the only thing that worked for her was when she would start in on a tantrum we would have everyone stop what they were doing and look at her. She would get kinda confused and then they would tell her you have the attention go ahead and throw your fit. Kick your feet, bang the floor etc and she would look around at everyone looking at her, get up, and go back to what she was doing before the tantrum ( playing or what have you) like it never even happened. I think it was for attention but I’m not a professional in that field so idk. But it worked.
I'm currently in the tantrum stage with my 2 year old. You guys seem to have way more patience than me 🙌 ... All I can say is, One day at a time 🙏 p.s. loving your pantry and the Arena PAN! Makes me want some Arepa's 😊
Maybe if you play songs that he likes to listen to even if he cries through them he may calm down eventually. I tried that with my brother and it worked pretty well
Lex needs to start a cooking channel💜
My dad loves you guys basically my whole fam!😭😭💕💕💘
I love you two so much . You guys are so cute and your channel is one my favorites to watch . ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I had those desperate moments too with my daughter when she was his age!sucks and you can't do anything😰😵!Also your editing is amazing!!!!!love and kisses from Greece!!!🤗😘💖💖💝❣️
*...Aaaand that's why I'm NEVER having a kid lol* 😂
You guys are great parents. That’s normal don’t worry ❤️❤️
Guys the tantrums go away hang in there I know how hard an exhausting that is lol I definitely remember those days stay positive !!!!! God Bless!!!
Love watching you guys all I can say it's normal lol sometimes you just have to let them cry and learn that way I have 3 so I feel ya 100%
Im not a mom But i have had my share of tantdruma as a babysitter 😅 The answer for me as been PRAYER! i usually pray in my mind as their having the tantrum. Usually ask God to bring the childs heart to peace so that he or she can feel calm and to give the child peaceful understanding
I would try not to put Ocean in something you actually use when he’s being naughty. He’ll associate the stroller with him being in trouble every time you use it
Oh my goodness, you guys are so darn cute. Yes Carlos, you need to read a recipe and somewhat follow it. And yes Carlos, you need to pit dates before you use them! I love how real you guys are. Tantrums will pass. As always, best of luck and much love to you.
Oh my gosh!!! Am I the only one who can’t stop rewinding to Carlos “barking” like the dog did!?! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
We literally bought the same vac a week ago. So far It works good. We use Nature's Miracle to break away those pet odors in the carpet. Its the hoover smartwash
What is the name of it couldn't read on front thanks
I wondered how long it would take them to figure out that dates have pits 😂
Words of wisdom. This too shall pass.
You are always honest, that is what we all love about you❤️
I think the time out is good. And he'll soon enough understand that the sooner he'll stop the sooner he'll get out of time out. Some people treat their kids with "pena" and let things slide because they're little but they're harming the kids instead. It's good to teach them at a young age that some things have consequences.
I am not sure if Ocean is at an age where he speaks fluently or not but i would 1000% recommend talking about his feelings. Constantly. “Ok, are you upset? Why are you upset? Please use your words” if he knows how to speak well I would suggest doing this through out the day with all of his emotions. This helps my daughter so much! We’ve always talked about her emotions and allowed her to express them to a point where it is safe (kicking,throwing,hitting) is all not allowed. I let her know she’s allowed to be mad over something. how can we help make her feel better. I know when I’m upset i need some time to myself and so i don’t expect my 2 yr old to have better control of her emotions than me. I always hug say I love her and it’s ok to be sad, let’s try _____ maybe you’ll feel better. or, would you like to _____ and have some time alone? It is very important to respect their emotions they need to learn how to control those and SAFE ways to manage them. Wish you guys the best!
Ocean doesn't socialize with other kids? How about preschool for this kid? This kid always on the GO with parents NEED?!
As soon as he put the dates in the blender I was like, the pits are still in there noo! Lol. Its really good if you blend dates almonds and peanut butter together.
Something that really helped my nephew with his grumpy spouts lol was Daniel Tigers Neighborhood. It has an episode on anger. It has a cute little song that says "When you fell so mad that you want to roar, take a deep breath and count to four." It would help him to watch it and when he would feel upset I would just sing the song. At first he would just stare at me like really? After a while he would sing along. Hope this helps. God Bless ☺
Oy my son just turned 3 and his tantrums are nuts. But he is getting better. Got to ride the wave.... even though it can be super hard at time. My son is now learning to identify his emotions and we can talk about things more. But being there for him is a big thing even if you need to take a couple deep breaths before dealing with him.
Lmao didn't take out the stones and wondered why it sounded like he was blending stones
I’ve been in the same situation with my boy when he was 2! Keep rocking being awesome parents! :)
Los quiero mucho, enserio son grandes personas y me encantan!!!! 😍 Saludos desde Guatemala
Oooh can you make a video about the organic food lifestyle you talked about??
I think it’s so cute how big time rush ended with Alexis and Carlos dating at the tween choice awards and now y’all are married I love that ❤️😂
I meant Alexa 😂
This too shall pass.......hang in there!
Yeyy! New video on my birthday🎉🎂❤️❤️
Hanna Lohonya HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🎊🎂🎁🎈
@@NaeNaePierce Thank you☺️
Lavender is awesome for mosquito/ant bites! We use it all the time! :) And I was dying watching Carlos make the date mix!!! HAHAHAHA 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Tantrums are so bad!! 😱🤷🏻♀️🙄😬 It’s really hard, lol 2-3 is ROUGH!!
Hhah I love how Carlos tried to make a snack. 😂😂
Laughing at the whole date making thing, cause that something I would do as a dude here lol 😆
I love how real your guy’s videos are!💛
Can you please do a cooking tutorial and House tour?? Thanks!!
Yall should try to teach your kids some sign language so they can express themselves when they cant or dont want to talk. I have some friends who do this and it cut down on the number of tantrums they had from kid one to kid two
Relationship goals!❤️
It's ok you guys will make it through the tantrums. They don't call it the terrible 2s for nothing. But on the bright side it means your child is starting to develop even more in terms of character, learning ability, and personality. So you really get to your kid bloom in this stage as well. 😊
It does get better. Highstrung they are. My nephew is like that too. He's 3. Love you guys praying
Love you guys! May i ask where Carlos got his shirt please?
i love their videos every week
I have a 4 and 5 year old that used to tantrum the same way. Our best way to deal with it was ignoring them. As long as you know he is not hurt and is ok physically let him scream or cry it out. One time my daughter screamed and cried so much she fell asleep and then woke up with a sore throat. But after that she never screamed the way she did again. I know it hurts to see them crying and screaming like that but if you know he is ok then let him be and he will stop.
OMG Carlos has such a cute family😭❤️
you just have let him go through it, i know it hurts your head and heart but he has to learn.
This to shall pass🙌🏼🙏🏼!!! Amen you will survive 😆🤪🙌🏼!!!
My baby girl is in the terrible 2s right now too😅 You are not alone😭
Such a wonderful family 🤗
Love ur vlogs Carlos!!! 😍 Love u all... And.........#BigTimeReunion 😭 😍#BTRusher4ever 💖
PS 💕 much love from Pakistan 😘
Pobrecito lol I'm sure you're doing all the right things. God bless your family.