Cringey RPer Repeatedly Fails to Romance OP (Or Anyone Else)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ก.ค. 2024
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Intro 0:00
ExpressVPN 0:45
Story 2:08
Outro 18:51
Yo! good to be back! Gonna start uploading regularly again for a little bit. Thanks to ExpressVPN for helping keep the lights on. Go to www.expressvpn.com/critcrab and find out how you can get 3 months of ExpressVPN free!
Welcome back King!
Happy to have you back! I hope you and yours are well. Also, thank you for combating my tinnitus at night!
Based sponsor timestamper
welcome back! ur the only person i listen to these days u have such a good reading voice!
I miss the crab noises when you pop into frame
Guard: "Sorry, I'm married."
Trouble: "Oh come on.... they won't know. We can have a good time."
Guard: "To him. (points at other guard)
Im using this in a game haha
Nah it wouldn’t work, the guy was too unhinged. He would probably have said: Bring your husband/wife as well, the more the merrier.
@@rodrigossgardelis7384 depends on the player.
@@benhramiak8781 It does but I am talking about the specific guy mentioned in the story. If he had no problems roleplaying NSFW stuff to a 14 year old character and even worse to a 17 year old player.There’s no way an in game inconvenience would stop him.
@@rodrigossgardelis7384 yeah, good point. Need to vet players to an extent
This isn't even "never meeting a woman" moment this is just a straight up "what is wrong with you" moment.
Story 2: Art is already an amazing player if he's able to use the DM warning of "Are you sure you want to do this?" ON the DM.
That was such a power move.
I got the biggest grin when I heard that!
"You dare use my own spells against me, Potter?"
man, i really needed this today! got the courage to leave my manipulative bf today, he tried to gaslight me, and he kept trying to sneak his fetishes into our d&d games. so this is perfect timing for the day I'm having
Hope you have good buddies/family to support you, and I hope you start feeling better.
Congrats on getting out of the trap! I hope everything gets better for ya, be strong 💪💪
* offers digital hugs *
Congrats! It takes a lot of courage to walk away from those situations, Im proud of you random stranger. You did good, and dont let anyone tell you different
Congrats!!!!
If Trouble had focused solely on NPCs, I'd have said it was just an excuse to flirt with/fluster his boyfriend. As soon as it turned to other PCs, I no longer had any idea what his goal was.
Then it got worse.
You'd think a player flirting with NPCs when dating the DM wouldn't be _that_ bad but...
"The worst she can say is no"
Ah, but have you considered being your own worst enemy
Our crabking has returned! So nice to see you again :3
Yay!
Yay!
Yay!
Yay!
Yay!
5:21 I never ever thought I'd hear someone utter the phrase "DnD sex% speedrun"... Congrats, Crab, have a thumbs up.
The idea of the party using the “rizz attacks” as snack and bathroom breaks is so funny to me.
“Oh no, trouble is rizzing up John again, I’m gonna go take a piss”
Lmao, this comment is amazing.
3:44 "General Kenobi", the Guard answered.
The Guard then draws four swords. Roll Initiative!
I see your likes is at 66 so I’m going to respect that and just give a comment 😂
Story 1
We have couples at our table, we don’t act fucking weird and we don’t date underaged characters.
If anyone tried that, they be gone-no ifs ands or buts
we have the same rule but are from europe and the age is 16 here however if 1 player so no then it is no end of story
Personally never been one to play with a couple. Because it gets messy real quick.. it very rarely is not a horror story. Even if they weren't being weird, their relationship dynamics quickly start interfering with the game. DND is an intense personal story for everyone involved. People tend to put some part of themselves in their characters. So it is almost inevitable for real life to bleed in to the game. The one time I did play with a couple, they were being insufferable at the table. Making googly eyes at each other, only caring about each other and not engaging other players in the party and the woman would get unnecessarily defensive about who the guy talked to. I had rolled a female character and I was playfully flirting with his character and she got visibly irritated with me.. The funny thing is, I am a dude and this guy wasn't even Bi! So she saw problem where literally none existed. Left the game, when she out of pocket decided to challenge my character for a one on one duel to see who got to be the rightful "wife"? Completely grossed me out and I just walked away, both in and out of character. Swore to never join a table with a couple ever again
@@thefonz8373 you know the last 10 year i have been in 2 group with my wife, and i never got wierd, we have a simple rule what happen in rollplaying stay in rollplaying
@@thefonz8373 I've heard very similar things about playing w/couples. The one couple I paly with are super close friend and have been since before they were dating. They started dating in high school and we're all in our mid-30's now so thankfully we don' t have any of those issues.
@@sirkiken That's nice. I feel like maybe older couples who are in their 30s would be more secure, so they probably are fun to play with.
"What's more pathetic than having the power of a God and failing anyway?" Damn now that's a line!
This is why the best approach to flirting is to talk to players about what their character is or isn't willing to do. I always ask privately before attempting to engage another character in a romance arc.
also probably not doing it to someone OVER A DECADE YOUNGER THAN YOU
I'm a dude whoplays a female character in one of my campaigns.
My group often makes the mistake of referring to my character as "he," not always able to separate me from my character.
It's kinda become a running joke in the group, to the point where she sometimes gets indignant about being misgendered.
Yeah playing a female dwarf character in a game not in 5e. Basically made her like Dr. Ms. Monarch deep voice and a smoker
That would always upset me growing up. O_O Now that I've grown into an openly trans woman, it would irk me even more if it happened. 😅
@@dr3dg352 idk if it was recent, but just in case congrats 👏❤
@@Banana-xk1gs Hey thank you so much!! 😊💜
@@dr3dg352 congrats!
That thumbnail is a hell of a crossover fanfic waiting to happen
“You can’t be attracted to him, he doesn’t have the Intelligence or Charisma for it!”
And judging by how you reacted to rejection, creepy DM, neither do you…
If there are minors at the table, I feel seduction should be banned from the table by the DM at session zero.
I'm a guy who frequently plays female characters, because for some reason my roleplaying is more accurate for females than males, whether I play a con artist bard, a righteous fighter or a disrespectful thief. Whenever I hear about a male player making a female character to live out some sexual fantasy, it bothers me, especially when nobody at their table wants them to. I feel people like them make others suspicious of me when I say I tend to play female characters. Fortunately, two of my three groups treat my characters hardly any differently than if they were male, and I managed to educate the other group by telling them TWICE that I was not OK with their SA roleplay and it was a hard limit for me.
I remember the first time I played as a woman in dnd and the *concern* I heard in other players voices when they asked "oh you're playing a woman?"
Thankfully this went away when I explained my PC was a granny getting back into the adventuring life after many years, and not some awful fantasy, but I still remember how they sounded
%80 of my characters are female as a male player, never had a problem with another player. And luckily one player asked if its okay if his character tried to flirt with her. That’s communication and must happen on every table.
Additionally, i never tried to seduce an NPC or PC. This is DND not doki doki literature club 😂
Trouble: WHY WON'T YOU DATE ME?! 👁💋👁
Gohan: Uhhhh... *Confused*😕
That " why won't you date me" reminds me of a meme lol
I need an adult
@@changingpeopleslivesmoon2993 "why won't you adopt me?!"
"BECAUSE YOU'RE BLA-"
@@not_umbre lol that s the one
@@kingsloth1121”I am an adult.”
"Have you ever tried flirting with someone" nope, guess I can't watch this video
No go ahead, learn what not to do.
Man it's a bad day to be a D&D player whose main recurring character is named Trouble.
reminds of a minotaur called Trouble, but I am not sure where got that from, only that it is either a Manga or a Novel... 😅
@@gecko2.617 in my case it's a tiefling Bard I've been playing in some form or another for like eight years that uses Trouble as their virtue name lol
Remember everyone! If you cringe at a memory its because you've grown as a person since then!
Sincerely, someone who knows time travel won't be invented during their lifetime because they don't have any childhood memories of being slapped upside the head by a strangely familiar adult.
Crit crab intros be like:
“This story is about the most vile, degenerate edge lord sociopath you’ll ever see, there are reclusive incels who haven’t even touched another human let alone a woman who have better manners than this guy!…. Oh and also here’s todays sponsor :)”
Can someone remind me a studio Ghibli setting book he recommended i cant find it
Obojima Tales from the Tall Grass!
Trouble is a huge creep, but the entire table is to blame here. This behavior only continues WHEN NOBODY SAYS ANYTHING. There's a difference between brushing him off in character and sitting there uncomfortably, and standing up saying "You NEED to stop, this is unacceptable behavior."
Half of these D&D horror stories wouldn't happen it SOMEBODY, SPOKE, UP.
ya they get no sympathy from me
Had to scroll too far to find this. OP makes it pretty clear that at no point does anybody ever actually confront Trouble for his behaviour. I haven't got a lot of sympathy for the "wow look at how uncomfortable this weirdo is making everyone feel, but let's definitely never ever address it or call him out at any point during the huge number of sessions we have with him on a regular basis, and instead just post about it on some forum like we aren't allowing it to happen". Christ, yes Troubles behaviour is problematic, but if you never have the guts to address it, you are as much the problem yourself.
I think part of the problem was that Trouble and the DM were dating at the time. It becomes dangerous territory where you can risk a player that’s actively attached to the DM blowing up the whole game, or even forcing the DM to kick you out. This is mostly failed by the DM, you don’t start a game with your partner, whether it’s as players or a player and a DM, if you both can’t agree that the game is the game and doesn’t actively effect your relationship unless something really screwed up happens.
If the DM is unwilling to step in outside of sliding him out of scene or “Surprise! Orcs!”, it will tell the players that they can’t speak up or do anything.
" Have I ever told you the definition of cringe?"
Vas Montenegro, probably
"Have you ever heard of the legend of Trouble the incel? I thought not, it is not the kind of story the good players tell. He was so weird and bad, even his boyfriend DM was weirdet out by this guy!"
- Sir CritCrab, Dark Lord of the Crabs -
I never entertained the idea of April May from Ace Attorney hitting on Son Gohan but here we are now
Wow Jen parry bullied that DM like they were a Crucible Knight in Elden Ring. 😆😆 With just one successful parry no less.
Also, did anyone teach Trouble the definition of insanity? That might help, maybe.
Easy way to combat this and make it aware, saying something when it happens. When you say no and in character they continue, get out of character and make apparent how weird/uncomfortable the situation makes you. Understandable with OP not, but anyone else at the table. People will only get angrier if they think no one has a problem and then the “oh NOW you have a problem with it?” situations arise which I’m sure is one of the biggest worries people have. Imo I’d rather someone be grumbly mad and see if they change or fallout naturally. Especially since they were the odd man out in the situation.
THE CRAB IS BACK 🦀🦀🦀
the repeatedly batting eyelashes would have been hilarious if the guard interpreted it as some sort of coded message.
Crab: “have you ever flirted with anyone…”
Me: “no😎”
6:25 "But you're making it so hard."
That's definitely what he's trying to do. 😂
Never thought I’d see gohan and that one chick from ace attorney in the same thumbnail
I actually physically repulsed hearing the kid was 17 and the guy was 27. My god.
8:25 “Why don’t you take a seat right over there?”
Or
“FBI! Open up!!”
I have only ever IC flirted once.
OOC: We dated for 6ish months. Ended amicably. Stayed in touch and kept playing in group.
IC: Our characters have been canonically married for the past 300+ years of our divergent DnD group's timelines, with three lovely, werewolf daughters (it's complicated).
the first story was gross. i have had a player like that and it was so awkward. as DM, the second one of my players felt uncomfortable i leaped on the opportunity to kick him before thing could get any stranger than it already was. its distasteful, and should be avoided. be careful fellow adventures, have fun
DM: "Why do you like him? He's dumb and has no rizz!"
Jen: "Joke's on you, that's exactly what I'm into!"
Awesome video! Always happy to see an upload!
These are my favorite stories of yours in a while! 😄 Reminds me of the older videos that made you become my first subscribed to channel.
Wake up crabs, new CritCrab upload!
Great to hear from you again. Hope all is well with you and yours.
Always a good day when there's CritCrab to listen to
I had flirting issues in my campaign. It ended up ruining the friend group.
So I was the DM and my best friend was one of the players. She was going through a lot so I really wanted my campaign to cheer her up like my last one did. However, no matter what I did she would always tell me she wasn't enjoying it or having fun, after every session. Really destroyed my confidence as a DM, but I kept trying. I'd always ask what I could do to improve her experience, changes to her character, story, the world or plot. Anything to help her have a better time, but I'd always hear every week how she wasn't happy. The other players seemed to love it, and I frequently checked in, it was just my best friend who due to life things outside the game wasn't having a good time.
Fast forward to around the end of the campaign she finally gives me something to work with. She randomly started flirting with background characters (fish seller #2 for example) and I'd try to make a personality for them on the spot, but she would loose interest and move on. After the session she said how she wants to be able to flirt and have a character romance, but every time she tries they "Just sound like you and that ruins it for me". A bit hurtful (she had a bad habit of describing aspects of myself and how they are unattractive. She's had guy friends who tried to change the relationship before and it really bothered her, so to prevent that from happening she makes me very aware she isn't attracted to me. I never asked her out or hinted that I would, she just likes to get ahead of that by describing things like my face and my voice and how they're unattractive...yeah) but it was something to work with. I told her that I would work on it, and to flirt with the next NPC they see (there was only 1 left before the campaign ended).
So I thought, if I know it's coming and I already have a personality for this NPC figured out I can flirt better. It's just banter right, and I'm a damn good DM so it shouldn't be a problem. Well it was a problem. Cause I start flirting in character, the basic compliments and confidence and stuff. And she goes to 11. I don't think I can even quote it on here without my comment getting taken down. Completely out of left field I was flustered and had no idea what to do or say. So I totally botched the interaction. I ended up just scrapping it and moving the story along. I was mortified that I couldn't keep up.
After the session we got to talking as usual. And she was pissed at me, didn't like how I told her to flirt with the next character. And when I apologized and started bemoaning how bad I was at flirting she got angry and said she wasn't going to teach me... I never asked her to. As far as I can figure, she convinced herself that even though she asked for more and better flirting, it was somehow my master plan to flirt with her, and somehow that would turn into real flirting, and I was secretly trying to date her. Yeah, 3 years of friendship was all clearly just a ruse right?
Any way this started a chain of events where her trauma from a former friend trying to change the relationship had her keeping me at arms length, and my trauma from having friends use and abandon me started spiraling. Just a downward spiral of a feedback loop. Fast forward a few month and I'm not in contact any more. Lost my bestfriend because she convinced herself I had a master plan and she never bothered to talk with me about it to see if it was true.
Moral of the story, talk with your friends people.
I wonder of the anti predatory orc summons can be weaponized somehow.
Like during a difficult fight in order to divide the attention of the enemy. 🤣
At first I was like "thank god the guy didn't romance the 14 yo they had to smuggle". Oh boy, did I think too soon...
The idea of a 20 minute break for snacks and rpdating hit’s different
Yaaayyy welcome back. I’m new just started watching earlier in the year and I binged all of your old videos lol was wondering if you were done or just taking a break. Glad it was the latter I really enjoy your content ❤
New crab here. I know the pain of waiting patiently for a crab video to come out now😂😅
I hope Jen & Art have a happy campaign together for life 💚
I'm happy to see you back. Amazing video.
Happy days! Hail, the king of TH-cam RPG horror story posts!
Oh no. The title tells me I'm not prepared 😬
The Crab King is back! Welcome! We missed you!
holy hell this almost feels like that one guy we had on our rp group. not really d&d but still the same style of rping and stuff. the amount of times he'd get into erotic roleplays with my group members was smth else. hell he even got banned for erotic roleplaying one time because.. roblox..
The crab has returned! 🦀
Glad to see you back with DnD stories
Oh thank god you're back! I'm getting so tired of Crispy's Tavern and his lame little skits interrupting the stories. All hail CritCrab! So thankful you're back.
I seriously hope that DM is strongly reconsidering being with someone who exhibits that kind of behavior towards minors and also considers taking a look at his boyfriends hard drives just to check to make sure there isn't shit on there that needs to be reported to the police force... that is legit nonce shit.
My dogs name is Trouble. His antics are next level as well...
He doesnt hump the couch nearly as much though.
Does he hit on underage couches?
Welcome back, crab friend!!!
When did D&D horror stories turn into the Catch a Predator
Thank god I found your channel, I know what to watch when bored now
Yay! A new video to listen to on my lunch break! 🦀
'Well, maybe my character just likes big, strong dumb guys.' That is such a perfect response to the utter nonsense the DM spouted before that, lmao.
Wait, i remember word for word last story about "my char likes big dumb guys"
Was it here before?
alot of the dnd horror story youtubers wnd up having similar stories as people copy paste it and repost it around only changing a few details for a moment of fame.
I was kind of hoping that Art was wielding a Halberd or some kind of Pole Axe or Spear that had a range of 10 feet when the DM said they stop 6 feet away.
If I was the DM in that Trouble game, I’d allow him to get with ONE NPC and turn it into a quest to save the idiot from himself because he accidentally got himself kidnapped by a succubus or a cult. Make it pretty damn obvious that flirting in a game where it’s not what the table is looking for won’t fly and would be actively dangerous.
8:28 is when most of my female characters would murder his character, fearing for their safety. One of them in particular would do it sooner because she would rather be friends with animals, one might do it later cos she's more live and let live long as no one gets hurt. 10:27 is when they'd all DEFINITELY murder trouble's character to protect OP's 14 YEAR OLD character.
Welcome back Great Crab King!!
You had a studio Ghibli setting book as one of your sponsors but i forgot what video it was and the name of the book can you remind me i want to buy the book thank you?
Story 2: Let's imagine for a second that Art's fighter actually died and the GM was comfident on "now I can keep my moves on Jen" and at the eno of the session, Art an Jen just go have dinner at some place GM can't control
"I *bats eye* can't *bats eye* understand *bats eye* Your Accent!" - Trouble (probably)
Good to see my favorite sea shore narrator and commentator.
I love this roleplaying stuff, maybe i should do one of those one day
I do like that the OP wished the DM of his horror story well at the end of his post despite how bad the DM was acting.
Something tells me that DM was probably struggling in some parts of his life and was coping with that very poorly, I'll be honest... I've been there although not in this extreme of a situation.
Not that I am excusing this DMs behaviour, but I hope his life can improve so that he can make better choices and act better to those around him
Trouble was one Ara Ara short of being a character from a demonitized on TH-cam video character at the end.
Ive had a Girl constantly try to flirt with me mid Dnd sesh, it was weird asf and took the boys telling me to realize this, honestly i didnt care, i just wanted to be a racist high elf man
I still remembee and have trust issues with any DM that works with outer/demi planes due to a DM that made my then lv4 Hexblade Warlock go and kill 256 creatures, which all were CR 25+. He made me roll a d100 to define if, when entering the plane, I was able to get a weapon that dealt 1d100+CHA+1. If not, I had to use my 1d6 slashing + 1d4 necrotic dagger to kill creatures that jad over 200HP, 19+ AC and most regenerated 10HP at the start of their turns.
Yeah, and there were people who said he was a very newbie friendly DM. This was my 6th session playing D&D. And as I said, I was a lv4 tieflimg Hexblade Warlock.
Finally, our lord and savior, the king of crabs, master of the horror stories and critical successes, CritCrab has returned with a new story! ❤
I have a tactic for getting rid of "Trouble." Outside of the game, you have to start a conversation with the DM that begins "Are you okay with him constantly trying to seduce people in game? If it was my boyfriend, I'd think he was subconsciously expressing dissatisfaction in our relationship. I'm afraid he'd act that way with other guys when I'm not around."
This might end their whole relationship.
Random bad npc idea a necromancer who has to get rid of bodys and gets fired if they revive them
Oh gods, this hurts 😭😭 I play in an 18+ campaign with sexual stuff being very encouraged, and that somehow makes it even harder to listen to 😅
Seducing guards is possible and appropriate in the campaign, but at the same time, if you aren't smart about it then it'll go very badly for you 🤣🤣
Reminds me of this one college weekend. We visited our DM friend at another campus and the DM had this older gay roommate in his late 20s, early 30s. Most of my friends were between 16 and 18 at the time. It was the south, it was hot our youngest friend Brent spent most of his time walking around shirtless in shorts. Brent had no idea the roommate was gay. When Brent left the room the gay roommate turned to us and said, "If Brent and I were alone and he was willing, he could have all the sex he ever wanted." Kind creepy given the age difference but at least he still wanted Brent to be willing. Over the weekend visit the guy kept trying to drop hints to Brent but Brent was completely oblivious because he was a conservative guy who had never met anyone who was gay before. Being the juvenile bstards that we were, on the way home we told Brent someone at the college was hot for him, just not who we only told him that given the chance he could have had all the sex he ever wanted.
Honestly, there is worse horny players than Trouble - I know, because I had a teammate that literally went after everything "gender compatible". No one was safe: not the other players, not the enemies, no matter what race they were, not even inanimate objects. Yes, not even those... dude ended up having his way with a female bas relief on a castle wall! We literally had to drag him away THREE TIMES as he kept going back and trying to do the deed with that poor innocent marble sculpture!
Brian gang, rise up an welcome Crit back!
Watching these videos some how make me want to try dnd, sadly there's nowhere where I can
Good content tho, of course and welcome back
I wonder why some people keep doing something in a social circle once they've been told to cut it out.
I just couldn't imagine myself forcing my own fun when others are not having it. It would break me inside to be so selfish.
I like when TH-cam doesn't send recommendations from the channels I'm subscribed to
@CritCrab I'm no good at these stories, but, a dozen years or so ago, I had DM that liked to force "adult encounters" on players. Turns out, in a previous campaign, whether or not player-characters had "adult" "experience" was a factor. Thus the need to test the players in _that_ manner in a number of campaigns. Ugh. I was uncomfortable with it, but let a (one-single-time) scene play out before calling him out on it. Yet... _that_ was NEVER an issue in any other campaign he'd run with our mutual friend group! Like, wtf dude!
Eventually, our group split up due to time/distance. But i still remember that lack of agency!
Also, since then I've determined that I personally am Aromantic/Asexual, so such intimate "encounters" were never cool on multiple levels. Regardless of relevancy! Which, again, it was not ever relevant in our group while I was with them. Ugh.
(Preemptive yes you can use this comment if you'd like. --Lucid)
The purpose of D&D? To explore a good story of adventure and friendship.
Critcrab: “you’re making it so hard.”
Me: “dude didn’t make the npcs hard, but he made Critcrab hard. Task failed successfully.”
“Maybe I just like himbos” is so real
And this is why if you are ever going to introduce character x character romance, ooc you get explicit permission first. Which is what i’ve done on one of my campaigns and now its a slow build romance which is cute. But I talked to the player first, got their permission and we talked it over.
Let’s goooo. Missed the crab
*_THE RETURN OF THE KING_*
I have one story about a frustrated DM that ended up ending a 10 year friendship. Where can I send it?
"Have a seat."
Dear god story 2 makes me think of some dm's i narrowly avoided
I've only had a single bad dm and even then he wasn't like- malicious or creepy. He's a pretty chill dude outside dnd he's just kinda hands off as a dm. It can work for some but just didn't for the group I was playing with
What up Crit big fan