It really bothers me that there are people who believe that no matter what a person does, unless it's physical, it's fine. Like, psychological abuse can be even worse, it may leave you broken for a lifetime...
Someone in the first video she did just said that "Hardin never hit her" and I literally said "Physical abuse isn't the only form of abuse. He emotionally abuses her countless times" and that coming from someone who was emotionally abused/neglected my whole life.
Thank you for saying this. I used to be in a relationship where the guy threatened to take his life if I didn't date him and my friend (now ex friend) said it wasn't abuse and made excuses for him.
Theres so many types of abuse. Sexual (doesn't even have to be physical), forcing someone to watch abuse, mental abuse, economic abuse. "Well he never HIT her" is just so stupid
Some people think he's a good character though!!! I've gotten into legit arguments with people, who are defending this boys behaviour & actions! How can you read the books or even watch the movies, & think to yourself "yes, this is exactly the type of person i wanna be with."
I legit blame this series for myself getting into an abusive relationship because Tessa wanted to save Hardin and help him and I'm like "if Tessa can do it, i can too!" and also the abuse was so glamorized and accepted, i saw nothing wrong with it. now that I'm older i see how horrible it is! BUT i appreciate hardin's development, i do believe he changed as a character as the series went on; but if someone sees it differently and he didn't actually change, please tell me! yeah, I'm editing this. watched the full video and yeah Hardin doesn't change lol
Hell? No no no no. The bar is so low it has left anything we can comprehend. It is lower than low. The bar is apparently only “not ugly”. That’s the entire bar.
Fun fact: it isn’t your girlfriend’s job to: -babysit you -be your emotional punching bag -deal with your buttload of baggage -to CHANGE you (this goes for both good and bad relationships) You need to change on your own, of your own free will and no one can MAKE you
Changing together in a relationship? Cool. Going through hard things together? Absolutely. Being responsible for each other's growth and actions? Not okay
Also if you feel like your life genuinely has no purpose if your s.o leaves you, you gotta work on that!! It's not healthy for either partner! Glad one of the characters said it, but there doesn't seem to be much follow through with that AT ALL.
But what if your significant other went something traumatic (not before the relationship) can you help them to get help as long as you get support from both side family and friends. I’m just curious and Open minded if the response comes out negative
@@bababooey7418 For Elizabeth and for himself. If Elizabeth had turned down his second marriage proposal, he would not have sunk into addiction or mistreated the people around him like the piece of garbage aka Hardin. Elizabeth showed him what was wrong with himself and although it was very painful for his pride and self-image, he accepted the truth (like the rational man he is) and actually made the effort to change his behaviour and his mind.
@@bababooey7418 And what people always forget: Elizabeth has flaws just like Darcy and she also learns throughout the story to recognize them. So it's not about the flawed guy and the perfect girl.
oh my god, when the movie was set to release, apparently, they invited Harry to the premiere. like, thew had the AUDACITY to invite him to see this absolute trash. I can't -
Who in a healthy relationship would have to tell themselves, "But he'll never physically hurt me!" That sounds like a person rocking in a corner while crying
@@Ashley-Lopez ikr every time someone says after series is toxic, they always go “but he doesn’t physically abuse her!” like shut up. he emotionally abuses her, controls her every move, and manipulates her. he even ruined another girl’s life, and did the same thing to another girl. he’s literally the worst.
Yeah. Every relationship I've been has been based on absolute trust. Never would it have ever occurred to me to think of this line, let alone tell it to myself or others.
the way that tessa literally had to CONVINCE herself that hardin would never PHYSICALLY hurt her... just never sat right with me. she had to REPEAT it!
I read the original After ‘books’ on Wattpad in 2014 (back when it was “Harry” instead of “Hardin”, “Zayn” instead of “Zed”, so on and so forth) and what so many people absolutely refuse to acknowledge is how much worse the fanfics were. I don’t remember everything of course but not only was the writing even more atrocious and robotic, but the abuse was somehow even worse (without things getting physical SOMEHOW). Anna Todd had to cut out and rewrite so much of the fanfics in order to get the fanfics published - she didn’t just change the names. Growing up on Wattpad was detrimental to my perception of relationships in the first place, especially as a 13-year-old obsessing over 1D fanfics, but After was the nail in the coffin. I, like many other young girls, learned that emotional abuse was love - especially with Anna Todd explaining that he WASN’T abusive. She was an older female writer that we trusted and looked up to, and if she was telling us that ‘Harry’ wasn’t abusive (even though she was just trying to get away from the valid critiques of the older readers who were like… hey Anna… this is abuse). Long story short, my perception of healthy relationships was warped in my formative years. It’s not fair to blame Anna Todd for what I’m going to say next, but when I was 16-18 I was in an incredibly emotionally abusive (and sexually abusive) relationship. I was young and I thought that I was in love, and books and fanfics like After convinced me that he wasn’t abusive, that I could fix him, that I just needed to earn his love - all while he was telling me that he wanted to hurt me, implied that he would k*ll me, sa’d me, cheated on me, openly degraded me, screamed at me, punched things, mentioned that the only reason he would never h*t me was because he couldn’t afford to “ruin his future”, became extremely possessive over me and isolated me, and then when I would try to leave him he would come crawling to me (like Hardin) and promise to change. He never did. Whenever I’d even begin to have concerns about his behavior I’d remember After as well as all of the other books and movies that glorified abusive behaviors and relationships, and I’d remind myself that my now-ex wasn’t abusive, he was just damaged - like Hardin - and I just needed to look past the abusive behaviors and see the little progress that he HAD made - even though it was always temporary and always fleeting. Books like After are detrimental to young readers whose first exposure to emotionally abusive relationships very well could be After. It’s beyond irresponsible to write the ‘love story’ that Anna Todd did while knowing that her audience was dominantly 13-16 year-old young girls; especially with the penultimate conclusion of the whole series being Harry and Tessa happily being together with the “look at what we went through and now we’re happy! Yay!” … What the actual fuck, Anna? She really went and taught young girls that if you can tough it out for long enough MAYBE your abuser will be considerably not-as-shitty and you can “move past” the abuse. IF LOVING SOMEONE CAUSED YOU TO GET HURT OVER AND OVER AGAIN, IT’S NOT LOVE. Love isn’t just passion, it’s mutual respect. Hardin doesn’t respect Tessa; he actively sabotages everything good in her life in order to push her back to him and that’s what abusers do. If he actually loved her then he would want to see her happy; if he actually loved her then he would leave her so that she could be with someone who is ready to give her the love that she deserves (that Hardin knows he can’t give her). Anyways, spiel over. Tldr = After pisses me off and Anna Todd is kind of a scumbag.
I love the part where you said that love isn't just passion. It's mutual respect. Thank. You. For. Saying. That. Somebody needed to say that. Romance books love to preach about passion and desire. But they also forget that it takes respect and trust to make a relationship work.
Girl! Power to you and your story! I'm glad I was just leaving high school when the wattpad world went haywire. I'll remember you when I have teenies one day!
For a matter a fact, if you get in with an abuser, they'll stay an abuser 99% of the time. Rarely they change. They may change after u breakup after they're alone and have nobody to clean after their ass, assuming they couldn't manage to get into another relationship, but while with you, you'll never be a hero. You'll never be their savior. I know from experience. Girls who are struggling from this need to read "Women that love too much" by Robin Norwood (I think that was the authors name?). It explains really well this dynamic. There's also other books they can read that help out a lot
All of this. Same experience I had at around the same age and was an avid reader of all those wattpad books with toxic relationships. Now I can't even read certain books without my brain pointing out every unhealthy trait a character has. Now I know, but there are probably still young girls (and boys) who will read these books. Especially when as you said the author is an adult and telling them it's not as bad as it seems.
Even if I had any desire to read these books, the sheer embarrassment that might arise if I needed to tell anyone the title of that book would prevent me from it
In comparison to the plot and the whole situation of the Hessa relationship being toxic, i would say that the title read and sounds contradictory in itself 💀
By watching this, I remember that quote from Heathers that Veronica says to JD: “Blame your childhood, blame your dad, blame the life you never had but hurting people, that's your choice”
I also think it's hugely problematic for an author to perpetuate the blood/virginity myth (since many women never bleed the first time) when there are women KILLED because of this myth.
I also hate the “well the author isn’t endorsing it, she’s just trying to write a story that feels real!” Because if the author REALLY wasn’t endorsing it she would be doing more to inform the YOUNG audience of how a relationship can be abusive while still not being physical. Instead she jumps through hoops to defend their relationship and allows CHILDREN to romanticize them. I know she can’t stop people from loving their relationship, but she can at least provide info in the books or on social media for resources for people in abusive relationships.
Right! She doesn’t once make it clear that nothing in the book was okay. If she’d written it and showed to aftermath of what Hardin had done, and shown how and why it was wrong, and what the effect of that felt like to tessa. MAYBE it would’ve been bare able. But even that is a push
@@chenmae9747 No, but then it would show some form of responsibility on her end. Much like movies are rated R and such. And it would prevent a lot parents from buyjng their kids these shitty books.
@@strawberryfox8819 You know there’s other ways to read it online right? Cause parents know, bc they read the description and check age ratings before buying anything, but If the kid really wants it they would find another way
Let me correct u. This ‘woman’. I understand what u’re saying, but U’re only talking about 1 woman! U use the phrase ‘Women’ when u’re talking about more than 1 female.😀 Of course I don’t mean any disrespect, I just really wanted 2 correct u b-cause...it’s what I do I guess?😀
@@lightdarkequivalent7143 Oh, she doesn't need to _say_ it, but you'd have to something else to have that 'subtext' fly over your head. When the in text characters keep comparing their relationship to Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy's, it's not coming out of nowhere. The _author_ is writing that. Plus, if she's writing these as romance books, which she decidedly _is,_ then it's clear that's what she really thinks she's writing. Oh, and I don't mean you as in pointedly _you,_ just in general!
@@kaamn1829 bruh what? making assumptions by her literally talking about classics? She literally admires the works of the classics, it’s fkin stupid of people that assume stuff for no reason. She literally talked about the wuthering heights and several other classics, not just pride and prejudice😐 ur just finding a reason to find more drama for no reason
@@kaamn1829 Just because the author wrote her characters to think a certain way about love doesn't mean _she_ thinks that way lmao. I write as a hobby myself and the things most of my characters think are not the things that I personally think about, but what I imagine _they_ would.
i hate how after fans try to justify and defend the story. i think it’s ok to like something while acknowledging its toxicity, you don’t have to defend something just because you enjoy it. we’re allowed to like shitty things lmao
Can we like someone and see it as flawless? Answer yes. As a media consumer I read and watch things that I enjoy without finding a reason to hate it or see it as problematic
@@Jeremysepicreads I'm sorry, but I disagree. I don't think you should ignore a piece of media's flaws just because you like consuming it. If a book has racist undertones, you should acknowkledge it, if a fictional character is misogynistic, you should acknowkledge it, etc. You don't have to stop consuming and enjoying media, but you do have to think critically about it
In real life, tessa would eventualy end up dead, murdered by him after suffering not only this emotional and psychologic abuse, but getting to physical as well
That's what I was thinking when she tries to convince herself that he would never hit her. The amount of people he's hurt so effortlessly, there's only another step to begin beating her for interacting with men or whatever he gets pissed about. Physical abuse would undoubtedly come at some point. I'm not sure if the author would have justified it or finally been responsible. Probably the former. 🙄 Instead of the "He would never actually hit me" it would be "he won't do it again, it was only once and he apologized so much." 😑
I used to worked in a bookstore and when the movie came out the book also became popular. So my colleague and I looked up the plot because we don't have time to read every bestseller in store, but the problem was that high schools were putting this book on their reading list. Soon we had alot of parents coming in asking for this book because their daughters want to read it for school, so my colleague and I would tell the parents everything that happens in the books so that if they buy the book, it would be with the attention to explain that this is a toxic and abusive relationship. Needless to say alot of parents decided not buy the book and ask us for better recommendations.
@@koetella2598 OMG I'm from SA and never even heard of these books and movies until a few months ago. I am shook that these books r being recommended in our schools. Absolutely appalling. I'm so happy Netflic and Prime has opted out of putting the movies on for us. I am astonished at what young ladies r reading. I am not a fan of Anna Todd at all. I just always thought her msg was not ok. And now look....
Shout out to teenager me, who stayed in toxic relationships way too long, because she had been taught through books and movies and shows that a bad man just needs a good woman to fix him with her vagina magic.
100% same, reading shit like this when I was 12/13 really set me up for some terrible relationships in the future. Girls, please know that behaviour like Hardin's isn't normal, desirable or okay
My sister went through the same thing. When we were in high school everyone kept telling her to not b with him but she stayed cuz in the books and movies he can b fixed. 🤦🏿♀️ She’s outta that situation now.
I feel so bad for Harry Styles, like, he's portrayed as abusive and made him look like a womanizer and playboy when he's anything but. Also, he was 17 at the time and when she wrote it, she was 25 ? 👁👁 he doesn't like to be sexualized and it happened since he was 16 (I think) His literal motto is "Treat people with kindness" but yeah
Can we just stop writing bad boys? I think mysterious outcast who is actually nice, but no one knows because of all the rumors about him being a bad news should take its place. Only nice guys from now on y’all. It seems every time someone writes a bad boy they’re abusive and treat women like crap then all of these girls who probably don’t know better defend him.
Mysterious yet sweetheart needs more love in stories, and not just in manga and some artworks I have seen. Himbos, too. Also, silly/funny guy who has the heart of gold (Ryuji from PS5) or smart (Sokka) troupe needs some love too. So many different personalities to be explored, and yet these stories are settling for bad boy who is actually dangerous.
@@thgritic102 Exactly what I'm saying! There are so many interesting character types to be explored so why limit male characters to toxic bad boys? This also why these stories shouldn't be hyped the way after was.
@@Savetheunicorns16 Exactly! Like I said, the only time I see any variety in male characters are in manga and artworks, so it feels like YA novel authors are so far behind when it comes to making stock straight characters. They keep saying they are doing something never done before, and it's the same angsty male MC and mousey FC. I would love to see a mysterious yet timid MC paired with a feisty and aggressively encouraging FC. I would love to see a himbo MC paired with a snobby, tsundere FC. I would love to see an upbeat, tall FC paired with a short, mean looking yet hype man MC. But I guess I'll do it myself! 🙄😤
@@thgritic102 I feel you so much these sound amazing. I wish I was a writer but alas I am not, which sucks because I have so many ideas. We are definitely on the same page.
Honestly I can only get my romance fix THROUGH fanfiction because I don't want to pay for a genre that has so many tropes that cause me to distrust it. The fact that THIS is the face of romance fanfiction sickens me, because I've read about so many healthy relationships with excellent chemistry in fanfiction. Then again, I also happen to be educated on healthy relationships so I know how to spot red flags early and nope the hell out.
@@CoraMaria i completely agree! i always feel embarrassed to tell people i read fan fiction but it can be so good if you know where to find it! i love it because it can be so diverse and i find the representation so refreshing! not to mention it’s all free!!
@@CoraMaria exactly! i love romance fanfiction but so many 'official' (idk what else to call it) romance genres, both movie and books, have so many gross tropes that i don't wanna risk. i heard that bridgerton was a historical romance and got excited just to find out there's a sa scene in it w/ no warning/consequences. at least ao3 gives you a warning so you know what you're getting yourself into
That's the part that keeps making me more and more angry with him. And then he has the nerve to excuse why he doesn't with "This isn't how life is." Uuuuh life can be anything YOU choose to make, Hardin. You are picking bad choices! Seems like he never heard of the quote "life is what you make of it" 🙄
no one really talks about this so i HAVE to mention it. i read after when it was just a fic and anna todd was updating the chapters (yes i am embarrassed but it was one of the few 1d fanfics that i knew of at the time lmao) and i vividly remember that anna todd lied about her age on multiple ocassions. she would say she was a 15 year old who had never had sex (don't know why she thought she needed to share that last bit) and even posted pictures of "her"....then idk how but everyone found out that she was lying. she was 25 years old and married....so on top of romanticizing an abus*ve relationship, she lied about her age, catfished everyone and wrote sexuaI fanfiction about a teenage harry styles as a grown ass woman....it was so messed up. i'm 24 rn and the thought of writing sexuaI scenarios about someone of harry's age at that time (18/19) makes me sick to my stomach
As someone who's been with a guy for 7 years that was raised by his mom alone and had an abusive father before that, there isn't an excuse to being an emotional abuser or jerk. My boyfriend is the sweetest person I've ever met. He's a nurse, and has told me when we have kids, he wants to be a father to them that he never had. Now comparing that to Hardin...it's crazy that people romanticize that. If my boyfriend threw things around and beat men up just for showing interest in me, I'd RUN!
Mine too! He lives alone with his mum and they’ve been through hell and back together, he has his struggles but he knows it isn’t my job to ‘fix’ him, he is amazing and he’ll be the best husband and father to our children:)
YES. you would think Hardin seeing first hand what his mother went through would make him realize that he should never do that to women. She didn’t talk about this I don’t think but there’s a couple of chapters where Hardin stays out the entire night at a bar and leaves Tessa waiting for him and when Tessa says that he’s no better than his drunk father, instead of reflecting he just gets pissed and yells at her further proving her point. It’s so infuriating
Hardin literally becomes a better person in the last book. I'm not defending the shitty things he has done. But we can't deny that his relationship with Tessa gets healthier at the end.
Girl. Girl. Please for the love of god give yourself some self care and read some cute fluffy romance as a cleanser. Thank you greatly for your sacrifice. Sending all the virtual hugs of comfort and oh my god comparing Harden to Whickham had me on the floor wheezing, An hour worth of your content in a blessing but give yourself just an ounce of self care.
The mentality that 'you can't judge the series by only one book' is so ridiculous. Maybe the series does get better, but if the first book is truly bad then why on earth would I pick up the others? Same goes for films and TV series. I'm not gonna waste a huge chunk of my time just because the 3rd, 4th, 5th, etc, instalment of a series is good. It's not my job to push through, it's the writers job to engage me. And even then, everyone has different tastes and likes different things. Some things just aren't for some people and are for others (although I feel iffy about throwing that argument around when it comes to content that romanticises problematic stuff, because I feel like that sort of thing shouldn't be for anyone).
Hell, I judge a book based on the first 50 pages. If it's not good enough to engage me by then... be a better writer... I do not owe my time or money to any author to give their work "more time". One woman's opinion.
After this whole rant, I am literally so hurt and offended by the portrayal of women in this whole series, how it used sexual assault for plot device and how women are thrown around like toys, men betting on for their virginity, talking about them as objects and fucking filming them while having sex??!! I seriously have lost faith in humanity because as much as this book is all fiction, the way they treat women is so much real because it's really happening now as well and I am just really hurt. Just what was Anna Todd thinking? And what is going on in the mind of those creators to adapt it into a movie? Why just why is it so hard to portray a healthy relationship in a movie or a series in today's media?
honestly, anna todd could have written a book like that in which men treat women like absolute shit and then one of them gets into a toxic relationship with a new girl. it could have been a good plot, but the book should have ended with the girl realizing her worth and leaving the guy. it would have been a great and empowering novel but she missed the opportunity
@@msdilaurentits5777 RIGHTTT like and they’re like “hEs BeEn ThRoUgH tRaMuA” that’s why he acts like that like no im not trying to take away from anyone who’s had a traumatic experience i completely understand but it doesn’t give in excuse to be a shitty and abusive person
thankfully the movie omits that ( I haven't seen the second one but the first one did) and apparently people were mad at how different it was and harassed the female director Julia Cudney did a great video on it. I had a friend who loved the first movie she went to go check out the book and was horrified at how disgusting it was and didn't pick up the rest of the series but she still likes the movies.
I have a degree in English Lit and Composition and one of my senior seminar classes was on Jane Austen and I read every single one of her books, and I WHOLE-HEARTEDLY agree with you that Anna Todd comparing their relationship to Elizabeth and Darcy is a crime only punishable by death lol
I've read pride and prejudice and wuthering heights (not by Jane Austen obvi, but also quoted in hardins DISGUSTING monologue) and I refuse to allow this blasphemy to be compared to these revolutionary classics.
Fuck the ending to the book, it’s not cannon as long as I breathe. Tessa left Hardin in the dust and pursued her career in whatever in which she was super successful. Tessa gets a man or woman 👀 who treats her right and adopts some kids. Hardin goes to prison for his crimes and gets therapy. He lives in a small apartment in London and his new healthy relationships are with a tabby cat and a plant. He will never have another girlfriend and he’s okay with that.
Tessa adopts a child with her lovely wife, goes on to create her own publishing company, apologizes to Noah for cheating, gets an undercut, actively blocks Hardin on all forms of social media and lives Happily Ever After. Fuck Anna Todd
I CANNOT imagine anyone GENUINELY trying to defend a book like this without being completely ignorant, naive, and immature to the gravity of the issues it "discusses". Seeing those people coming at you for criticizing it is goddamn aborrent
LITERALLY as a teenage girl in this day and age so many girls try too defend hardin and their relationship as well as the books and movies and it’s so sickening
Also, the Emily Bronte quote "Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same." IS NOT ROMANTIC. Heathcliff and Catherine are very likely half-siblings, or at the very least adopted siblings and in the 1800s, laws prohibited adopted children, foster children, or any children raised together from marrying one another so either way ✨incest✨ medium.com/@smashlee011/please-stop-using-this-emily-bront%C3%AB-quote-as-if-it-is-romantic-its-not-ec14582298a7
I really don't understand and it frankly bothers me that Anna Todd is trying to justify abusive behavior and the "he'll change" BS so much throughout her books. I know there's other fanfic like that though and it probably wouldn't bother me so much if it wasn't published and getting so much mainstream attention. Side note, I know Anna Todd also has a Little Women retelling and I'm so tempted to read it, but I'm not sure if i can suffer through her destruction of my favorite book of all time.
@@ElizabethNicoleSchwartz prob right, but she first really needs to go to a creative writing class and also learn about what relationships should be like
i just can't understand people who go "this story isn't based on harry, he's just a muse" even though if you read the book when it was first popular, the names of Hardin and his friends were named as the 1D member's names. The book literally got famous bc 1D fanfics were so popular and it happened to be the biggest one.
when i was 12 i read after, and when i finished the series i was so in love with their relationship that i wanted one like that of my own, i wanted a toxic man so i could "fix" him. and at 15 with that mind set i started dating a toxic person and ended up with a bunch of trauma. it was nothing like after, obviously, but honestly this just shows how this stories are wrong and how it shows teenage girls that "the bad boy" who treats you like shit is romantic and you should keep dating them cus its so "relationship goals" and that the only person that they can treat right is you but no one else and that IS SO ROMANTIC. this type of stories should never be glorified and should never be advertised to teenage girls. i regret reading that book at that age, i regret reading it at all actually i hope this video reaches people who think abusive relationships are good
Sorry, dear... Do you know that the excuse of the male lead being toxic is bullshit I have seen domestic violence... And I am telling you, My father is abusive and drinks etc my brother hate him till death and hates alcohol also is very respectful to women because he doesn't want anyone to suffer like us and this book shows that people who suffered violence turned out like male lead is disgusting
I can't see any bigger sign of an abusive relationship than the abusive man saying that EVERY man is just like him and EVERY relationship is just like theirs. It's literally meant to make the person lose any hope of improvement because ""everyone"" is like this and she won't get anyone better or different by leaving. Gaslighting 101, god I hate this man
Gas lighters always tell you that you should depend on THEM and them only. And when you don't, they blame you for not trusting them or not putting any effort or acting "childishly".
Same with the "but there's no PHYSICAL violence!!" can't tell if it was just Tessa's character saying it or if he was also saying it, but honestly if the bar is that low you need to reevaluate your standards and self-worth
I read the After series as a teenager , and I can't deny that it played a big role in me getting into reading since it is very easy to read those books, at the time it was the first bad boy story I read and I couldn't and didn't know that the relationship was toxic , that you weren't supposed to treat you partner as such , I am ashamed to say I believed abuse to be only physical and not emotional , after some time I have come across books that educated me on and made me realize that I used to love a toxic relationship . And that's the terrible message of this series : it makes young girls believe that there is a dark edgy boy waiting for them , that their sole role is changing them and the books romanticize that , and I hate that After isn't the only series that does that .
Thank you. There are still SOOOOO many defending this absolute hot, steaming *trash* , and what concerns me is that the majority are young girls who see this as an ideal relationship. It's just- bad.
I can relate to this so much and I literally hate myself so much for getting a physical copy of that book. I read the 1st book and glorified the prospect of being with a 'bad boy' so much until I actually had to experience unhealthy relationship firsthand to notice that this was not okay and that it might sound fascinating on paper but really it's just draining and unstable in real life. I would even say reading these types of series are detrimental to individual health and society because not only do they normalize toxicity but also misogyny, sexism, slut shaming and every demeaning concept for women to ever exist.
@@evianblue Thank you for coming forward about that, I'm sure it was not an easy time for you- and was a highly unpleasant experience to go through. It is amazing that you have come through that and the fact that you can talk about it simply demonstrates how strong you are. Much stronger than Tessa is anyway 😂
@@ashthepotato3172 thank you, it means a lot. I really hope people stop following this trash because media consumption plays a huge part in establishing decent behavior among individuals and reading pieces like these will ultimately end up with most of the world behaving like complete delusional animalistic entitled assholes
also the fact that Tessa is basically the author's self-insert (she admitted to this years ago) never sat right with me. that woman was in her 20s (and MARRIED) when she wrote After and imagining herself in these situations with a 18/19 year old Harry. nasty
Anna Todd is a horrible person. Her response to her critics when they said that she was promoting abusive relationships was absolutely disgusting. You can tell that Tessa is a self insert and that's why her character is awful.
I know she compared the criticism to a Song of Ice and Fire books saying “Well george rr martin killed characters all the time and no one cares!” Ma’am! They die because actions have consequences! Not because plot. And yes, she did say herself she wanted this to be a modern retelling of Pride and Prejudice!
I never really got the appeal of the bad boy trope with the abusive relationships in the fanfiction community. Friends to Lovers is LITERALLY right there not getting this much love. The pining??? The angst??? The soft confessions??? Let's go, baby
@@adrienscrown2079 yep that’s why I said when done right!! The trope has so much potential, like the tension, honestly everything but people sometimes mess it up sooo bad !!
Ugh that scene killed me, if only they could've added even a slight semblance of meaning to the dumpster fire that is the after saga i could've given it an ounce of respect 😔
The part that made me so furious is when he told Tessa’s realtor not to give her the apartment. He let her wonder why the realtor wasn’t calling her back knowing that he was the one that screwed it up for her all because she wanted to follow her dreams instead of following him to the end of the earth.
I used to work in a group home for teen girls. They loved After and wanted a Harden in their life. Some of these girls had boyfriends 10 years old than themselves and they talked about how they needed to save them. I can't help but blame a lot, including media for this.
honestly idek how she forgave him after the natalie situation... like everything he did before that was HORRIBLE... but like ok she forgave him then THAT and she just jumped right back in. I would be traumatized
Those 33 dislikes are girls that need help. You’re either too young and think this type of relationship is romantic and that boys like this are cute and can be fixed. Or you are suffering from domestic violence and need help.
FullofLit exactly! like fine you can like the book even mention it a few times but DON’T COMPARE YOUR SHITTY ROMANCE TO ONE OF THE BEST NOVELS OF ALL TIME
So basically Hardin watched Tessa literally have a mental breakdown down about him being close to her and told her, while she wasn’t mentally okay, that they should get married. She wasn’t mentally okay and that man used that to make her come back to him
That's where I stopped reading the books. I picked them up to look what was currently popular in the ya section and... It was so abhorrent I could no longer even try to continue.
Yeah, like, you randomly run into the guy who abused your most intimate part of your life, and he shows zero remorse or sympathy and you just gush at him about omg I forgive you like we are so good man yay my life went in a great direction I'm domesticated and have no career and its all thansk to you you're my hero.
How are these popular? How are these turned into movies when there are other popular books that deserve movies?! These are sick. The author is sick and should be ashamed to write such trash.
It's called "Hollywood"! They def. DON'T have morals(& never will, it's all about money) or care about the effects these books & movies could have on younger people reading & watching! I'm sure there are many parents out there, that if they read these books or saw the movies themselves, would not let their 13-14yr old, daughter or son, go see these movies or read the books! Esp., starting w/ the first, which was rated PG13, & a lot of parents will go by that rating, allowing their teen to watch, but not truly knowing, just how bad, some of these characters actions truly are & it's not just a lil nudity, talk of sex, drugs, or smoking cigarettes in a scene, etc., they have no idea, how this seems to normalize, things that are so criminal! 😟
@@tamarab6259 It’s not just “Hollywood” it’s also the people who watch it and think it’s good or ok or even idolized consumers are at fault too for speak highly of it
Fun Fact: When these books were published, like in PAPERBACK book, Anna Todd was 24 and Harry styles was 19. Let that Sink in. Also when she wrote it in her college notebooks she was like like 19 or 20 he was 14 or 15. What the Actual Frick?!!!!! Then she published it on wattpad in 2013 when she was 23.
I listened to the first After audiobook and wished i could get my money and time back lmao. Thanks for making this video to remind me why i shouldn't bother to continue it!! I Subscribed!!
I just get so angry that Anna Todd is normalizing emotional abuse. As someone who had to deal with it, it really, really hurts to see that. And I am really worried for all the fans of the series who think that this is normal or that this is justified, because it's not!
The mental gymnastics After stans have to pull off to justify Hardin’s behavior (and Anna Todd’s narrative choices as the author) is astounding. It should really be an Olympic sport.
The real tea is that Hardin would never walk across an entire field and tell Tessa that she bewitched him body and soul with no expectations that she wouldn't immediately push him down on the ground to have sex. That comparison made me choke on my coffee. I would bet money that Anna Todd has never even read the book or watched the series/the movie.
Let’s not forget this was written about a 17 year old Harry Styles when Anna was not a minor. It’d still be a gross story even if she was a minor too. I was like 13 years old thinking this was an ok relationship 🥴 Remember that if someone loves you they would never lay a hand on you. You deserve better.
After is the ONLY book I've ever completely given up on. It's also the only book that I've thrown away. So thank you for this. Now I know I made the right decision.
The fact that the author even DARED to compare what she wrote with the absolute MASTERPIECE that is Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice is a sin in itself. Like hell no, you ain’t even holding a candle to it!
I’m honestly disappointed that these books were even published. My best friend loves these stories and loves Hardin and I’m just like no❤️ In what world is he a normal, healthy, and non-abusive idiot. maybe you find him attractive in the movies but that does not mean that you should romanticise who he is and how he treats a relationship.
I agree, and kinda relate cause my cousin is obsessed with this series, these movies and it takes so much physical restraint from my part to not yell out "HE'S ABUSIVE" at her everytime she posts about him, like I thought the book was bad but then I saw this video and I'm like, how do I break this to her, cause she basically has but this book on this high pedastal and thinks this is the epitome of a real relationship, it's exhausting to see her think this toxicity is ok, but I know and hope she'll realise that it's not right when she gets more mature
@@emaan6408 You are completely right to call out the toxicity. Even if she doesn't believe you yet. I'd say to keep calling it out so she keeps it in mind when starting her own relationships. Hardin is not a standard that should be sought after.
This relationship is so toxic and unhealthy and Hardin is so unnecessarily violent that the only realistic way for this series to end is if Hardin and Tessa go all Starkweather and Fugate. I know that isn't going to be the ending but them going on a cross-country killing spree would be a way more realistic (and better) ending.
LOVE how Natalie just forgives him bc it’s totally ok now! No long lasting consequences whatsoever and we HAVE to know what a GOOD GUY he is now *I hate it here is this hell*
The part where Hardin tells Tess off for not being happy in an abusive relationship. Just... I didn't know I could get that angry at a concept, holy shit.
I love watching reviews of books I haven't and wasn't going to read anyway, just to make sure they're as bad as I thought they would be. Thank you, Daria :D
it’s just the fact that anna todd wrote hardin herself, and made other characters realise how awful of a person he is, but she still wants us to believe he’s a good person who we should be rooting for like wtf
I hadn't thought much about the Pride & Prejudice comparisons (and I've only watched the movies, haven't yet read the books), but now that you mention it, FullofLit, I fully share your taking umbrage with Anna Todd on that.
Let us just take a moment to appreciate this beautiful girl torturing herself by reading this entire series. I read about 62 chapters into the original, Wattpad version and needless to say, I abandoned it with no regrets. (That ish has 99 chapters, holy-) Then I was contemplating reading the entire series because I'm dying of boredom, and I'm really glad I didn't decide to go with it. And what's the worse part of this series isn't even Anna Todd inviting poor Harry to the movie premiere. This series started from a fanfiction, the only real difference between the final novel and the Wattpad version is the slight altering of Harry to Hardin and Styles to Scott. It's a fanfiction. Of sweet, gentlemanly, goofy Harry Styles. And Hardin, who is supposedly based on Harry, doesn't even have a personality similar to him. It's one thing creating a possessive, violent, broken character, but it's something else entirely to base him off someone so nice, sweet and adorable.
I don't really care about the fact that it's been what, 3 months since this video was posted, I just think you truly need a break, cause 3 months is not enough to recover from this trauma. Check out Robert Thier's Storm and Silence series, I'm not sure if it has audiobooks, but you can find the 6-book series on Wattpad with google translate voicing it on the website (it doesn't work on mobile). You can read it on Epub.pub except for the 6th book. I absolutely love the series.
i read the entire series on wattpad & can assure you made the right decision by stopping lol. the entire series is clearly anna todd living out her fanfic dream whilst sexualising a 17 year old. how she got a film deal i’ll never understand
Time stamps After - 4:24 After We Collided - 8:23 After We Fell - 18:28 After Ever Happy - 37:29 Initial Final thoughts - 51:36 Before - 55:47 Final thoughts - 59:05
Exactly the first book should be where everything gets good, I hate when ppl say that especially when it’s about a book. that’s time consuming and alottt of reading
As a stranger on the Internet, I can confidently tell you that anyone bullies you into agreeing with their opinion is someone who is so insecure and immature that anyone who dares to disagree with them is treated like Public Enemy Number One. They act as if they are not constantly validated then their heads will explode. It’s not the end of the world if someone hates something you like! Welcome to the real world: you don’t get a trophy for existing. People will hate things you like and you have to find a way to deal with it. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and nothing should invalidate those feelings.
the fact that, as you said, this series uses such a grueling and disgusting, and hurtful circumstance as sexual violence as "plot devices" is absurd. i also find it upsetting how every female character in this book besides tessa is painted as a "villain" or in a bad light in general. anna todd needs to unpack her internalized misogyny.
I love how every person rants like a whole hour about these books. that's the level of stress the stupidity of anna todd put people through and the big amount of material to rant she gives
I can't believe I'm going to say this but for once.... I have no additional words... You 100% nailed it. Thank you for taking the exhausting amount of time to say what so many people with preferred standards want & need in reading. And more to the point WHAT WE DEFINITELY DO NOT NEED!!!!
Tessa enabled this man to stay THE SAME 👏👏👏 There's no character development for both of them without self reflection, hence by staying together. None of them dared to cut the toxic dynamic despite it affecting their lives, because both are very codependent on each other. Tessa had the potential to be a powerful character, but the author gave her a role that instead highlights Hardin's character, which is why he seemed more like the main protagonist mid to end of the series (which he is, but he seemed more like a villain protag)
"I am so sorry Samantha that you're being disrespected in this way" I know you're talking about the character in the book but as a Samantha, I'm keeping this line for future positivity, thank you.
I really worry a little bit about the author with her insisting though Hardin that their relationship is just unhealthy and not abusive. Unhealthy, to me at least, is when your partner says minor hurtful things over and over, while knowing that it bothers you. Its when they don’t ever take your feelings into consideration for day to day things like saying when they'll be home late, or having people over, or doing household chores. Its when your ideals and beliefs don’t match up so you’re always butting heads over them. Hardin is straight up abusing her by having very violent tantrums every time something doesn't go his way, and while he's not hitting HER, violence as your emotional outlet onto anything still makes your partner afraid of you and gives you control over them. He isolates her from family, friends, potential jobs and futures, and expects her to follow exactly what he wants to happen in their future. Same with the marriage thing, if she didn't put her foot down like that, he probably would've refused to marry her for their entire lives, even if they did end up having kids together. The fact that people defend this series at all, especially after reading all the books, honestly makes me scared for them, cause they probably think this kind of behavior is ok. I worry less so about the author cause she seems to be aware that their relationship is abusive on some level with how often she has side characters give Tessa a wake up call and tell her to her face that her relationship with Hardin needs to end. UGHHHHH WHY ARE BOOKS LIKE THIS POPULAR?! How is it anyones romantic fantasy to tell your boyfriend you’re partially infertile, and having him immediately get mad at you and think that you’re broken? Like how can anyone like this guy?
So glad I didn't read these books (or watch the movies). I would have been so angry the whole time. Just because Hardin didn't hit Tessa, doesn't mean their relationship wasn't abusive. As a survivor of emotional & psychological abuse, the messaging is a slap in the face to people who have been through this.
![SAFEPLANET - ดาวเคราะห์ [ THE PLANET ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/4X1XL3I_k3c/mqdefault.jpg)
Say it with me kids PHYSICAL ABUSE ISNT THE ONLY KIND OF ABUSE
It really bothers me that there are people who believe that no matter what a person does, unless it's physical, it's fine. Like, psychological abuse can be even worse, it may leave you broken for a lifetime...
PHYSICAL ABUSE ISNT THE ONLY KINDS OF ABUSE
Someone in the first video she did just said that "Hardin never hit her" and I literally said "Physical abuse isn't the only form of abuse. He emotionally abuses her countless times" and that coming from someone who was emotionally abused/neglected my whole life.
Thank you for saying this. I used to be in a relationship where the guy threatened to take his life if I didn't date him and my friend (now ex friend) said it wasn't abuse and made excuses for him.
Theres so many types of abuse. Sexual (doesn't even have to be physical), forcing someone to watch abuse, mental abuse, economic abuse. "Well he never HIT her" is just so stupid
Hardin Scott's entire character is the epitome of "the bar is in hell".
Some people think he's a good character though!!! I've gotten into legit arguments with people, who are defending this boys behaviour & actions!
How can you read the books or even watch the movies, & think to yourself "yes, this is exactly the type of person i wanna be with."
fr fr even if we excuse the whole girlfriend turned babysitter...WHO TF DOES THAT TAKING PICTURES OF THE BLOODY SHEETS USED CONDOMS LIKE THAT 😭😭
I legit blame this series for myself getting into an abusive relationship because Tessa wanted to save Hardin and help him and I'm like "if Tessa can do it, i can too!" and also the abuse was so glamorized and accepted, i saw nothing wrong with it. now that I'm older i see how horrible it is! BUT i appreciate hardin's development, i do believe he changed as a character as the series went on; but if someone sees it differently and he didn't actually change, please tell me!
yeah, I'm editing this. watched the full video and yeah Hardin doesn't change lol
Hell? No no no no. The bar is so low it has left anything we can comprehend. It is lower than low.
The bar is apparently only “not ugly”. That’s the entire bar.
✨And Hardin Scott has a shovel✨
Who looks at Harry Styles and thinks: “You know what would make this guy even better? Turning him into a manipulative asshole.”
Literally what I’ve been thinking this whole time
Now that’s the power of ✨f a n f i c✨
anna todd apparently
Wattpad.
He's literally one of the last person I can see as a bad boy.
Now if it was Zayn, that would be a different story (still won't read it).
Fun fact: it isn’t your girlfriend’s job to:
-babysit you
-be your emotional punching bag
-deal with your buttload of baggage
-to CHANGE you (this goes for both good and bad relationships)
You need to change on your own, of your own free will and no one can MAKE you
Changing together in a relationship? Cool. Going through hard things together? Absolutely. Being responsible for each other's growth and actions? Not okay
Yes.
And vise versa
Also if you feel like your life genuinely has no purpose if your s.o leaves you, you gotta work on that!! It's not healthy for either partner! Glad one of the characters said it, but there doesn't seem to be much follow through with that AT ALL.
But what if your significant other went something traumatic (not before the relationship) can you help them to get help as long as you get support from both side family and friends.
I’m just curious and Open minded if the response comes out negative
Mr. Darcy wouldn't even think about hurting a woman, and sorry, but Elizabeth would never let a man treat her like this
AND he actually changed himself for Elizabeth and didn't make her into his rehabilitation center
@@bababooey7418 For Elizabeth and for himself. If Elizabeth had turned down his second marriage proposal, he would not have sunk into addiction or mistreated the people around him like the piece of garbage aka Hardin.
Elizabeth showed him what was wrong with himself and although it was very painful for his pride and self-image, he accepted the truth (like the rational man he is) and actually made the effort to change his behaviour and his mind.
@@bababooey7418 And what people always forget: Elizabeth has flaws just like Darcy and she also learns throughout the story to recognize them. So it's not about the flawed guy and the perfect girl.
All I’ve gathered from this video is I’m glad I wasn’t into trash romance as a child and I should really read pride and prejudice
No please after reading fhe after series,I never want to hear that book or those names again.
oh my god, when the movie was set to release, apparently, they invited Harry to the premiere. like, thew had the AUDACITY to invite him to see this absolute trash. I can't -
Is that Call me by your name on your profile picture? ◜‿◝
@@marsovac2790 Oh it is. 🤩
thats so embarrassing for them
YOURE JOKING--
That's extremely insulting.
Who in a healthy relationship would have to tell themselves, "But he'll never physically hurt me!" That sounds like a person rocking in a corner while crying
And yet there’s still people that defend this series😔🖐🏽
@@Ashley-Lopez And a *large* portion are young girls.. thinking Hardin and Tessa are "goals"..
(ꏿ﹏ꏿ;) 😬😬😬😬
@@Ashley-Lopez ikr every time someone says after series is toxic, they always go “but he doesn’t physically abuse her!” like shut up. he emotionally abuses her, controls her every move, and manipulates her. he even ruined another girl’s life, and did the same thing to another girl. he’s literally the worst.
Yeah. Every relationship I've been has been based on absolute trust. Never would it have ever occurred to me to think of this line, let alone tell it to myself or others.
Yeah, I love a bit toxic relationships in books just bc it adds spice but when it goes to the point of literal abuse it's just wrong on another level
the way that tessa literally had to CONVINCE herself that hardin would never PHYSICALLY hurt her... just never sat right with me. she had to REPEAT it!
literally though like????
I was your 1,000 comment
Yeah.... because she had no real reason to believe that he wouldn't, since he is so physically violent with everyone else.>___
Right? That's literally the bare minimum and she's like "Omg he's such a good boyfriend, he doesn't even beat me☺✨"
@@moonless_night8453 So, sadly, true.!
I read the original After ‘books’ on Wattpad in 2014 (back when it was “Harry” instead of “Hardin”, “Zayn” instead of “Zed”, so on and so forth) and what so many people absolutely refuse to acknowledge is how much worse the fanfics were. I don’t remember everything of course but not only was the writing even more atrocious and robotic, but the abuse was somehow even worse (without things getting physical SOMEHOW). Anna Todd had to cut out and rewrite so much of the fanfics in order to get the fanfics published - she didn’t just change the names.
Growing up on Wattpad was detrimental to my perception of relationships in the first place, especially as a 13-year-old obsessing over 1D fanfics, but After was the nail in the coffin. I, like many other young girls, learned that emotional abuse was love - especially with Anna Todd explaining that he WASN’T abusive. She was an older female writer that we trusted and looked up to, and if she was telling us that ‘Harry’ wasn’t abusive (even though she was just trying to get away from the valid critiques of the older readers who were like… hey Anna… this is abuse). Long story short, my perception of healthy relationships was warped in my formative years.
It’s not fair to blame Anna Todd for what I’m going to say next, but when I was 16-18 I was in an incredibly emotionally abusive (and sexually abusive) relationship. I was young and I thought that I was in love, and books and fanfics like After convinced me that he wasn’t abusive, that I could fix him, that I just needed to earn his love - all while he was telling me that he wanted to hurt me, implied that he would k*ll me, sa’d me, cheated on me, openly degraded me, screamed at me, punched things, mentioned that the only reason he would never h*t me was because he couldn’t afford to “ruin his future”, became extremely possessive over me and isolated me, and then when I would try to leave him he would come crawling to me (like Hardin) and promise to change. He never did.
Whenever I’d even begin to have concerns about his behavior I’d remember After as well as all of the other books and movies that glorified abusive behaviors and relationships, and I’d remind myself that my now-ex wasn’t abusive, he was just damaged - like Hardin - and I just needed to look past the abusive behaviors and see the little progress that he HAD made - even though it was always temporary and always fleeting.
Books like After are detrimental to young readers whose first exposure to emotionally abusive relationships very well could be After. It’s beyond irresponsible to write the ‘love story’ that Anna Todd did while knowing that her audience was dominantly 13-16 year-old young girls; especially with the penultimate conclusion of the whole series being Harry and Tessa happily being together with the “look at what we went through and now we’re happy! Yay!” … What the actual fuck, Anna? She really went and taught young girls that if you can tough it out for long enough MAYBE your abuser will be considerably not-as-shitty and you can “move past” the abuse.
IF LOVING SOMEONE CAUSED YOU TO GET HURT OVER AND OVER AGAIN, IT’S NOT LOVE. Love isn’t just passion, it’s mutual respect. Hardin doesn’t respect Tessa; he actively sabotages everything good in her life in order to push her back to him and that’s what abusers do. If he actually loved her then he would want to see her happy; if he actually loved her then he would leave her so that she could be with someone who is ready to give her the love that she deserves (that Hardin knows he can’t give her).
Anyways, spiel over. Tldr = After pisses me off and Anna Todd is kind of a scumbag.
I love the part where you said that love isn't just passion. It's mutual respect. Thank. You. For. Saying. That. Somebody needed to say that. Romance books love to preach about passion and desire. But they also forget that it takes respect and trust to make a relationship work.
Well done coming to this realization. Sometimes you have to ignore your instincts and listen to your brain to find true happiness.
Girl! Power to you and your story! I'm glad I was just leaving high school when the wattpad world went haywire. I'll remember you when I have teenies one day!
For a matter a fact, if you get in with an abuser, they'll stay an abuser 99% of the time. Rarely they change. They may change after u breakup after they're alone and have nobody to clean after their ass, assuming they couldn't manage to get into another relationship, but while with you, you'll never be a hero. You'll never be their savior. I know from experience. Girls who are struggling from this need to read "Women that love too much" by Robin Norwood (I think that was the authors name?). It explains really well this dynamic. There's also other books they can read that help out a lot
All of this. Same experience I had at around the same age and was an avid reader of all those wattpad books with toxic relationships. Now I can't even read certain books without my brain pointing out every unhealthy trait a character has. Now I know, but there are probably still young girls (and boys) who will read these books. Especially when as you said the author is an adult and telling them it's not as bad as it seems.
How dare they compare Hardin “Stalker” Scott to Fizwilliam “One Word From You Will Silence Me On The Subject Forever” Darcy.
HONESTLY
Never read Pride and Prejudice but heard that Darcy fellow is a kind soul acting like a dick. That true?
Ikr, Mr. Darcy was a MAN, while Hardin can *Hard*ly be considered a fetus.
"After Ever Happy" is the worst title for a book that I've ever heard!
I know, right? Why didn't they just call it Happy Ever After? Does the word "After" really need to be at the start of every title???
Even if I had any desire to read these books, the sheer embarrassment that might arise if I needed to tell anyone the title of that book would prevent me from it
exacrtly like english isnt my first language but im pretty sure thats not gramatically correct
It felt like I had a stroke while trying to read that title
In comparison to the plot and the whole situation of the Hessa relationship being toxic, i would say that the title read and sounds contradictory in itself 💀
By watching this, I remember that quote from Heathers that Veronica says to JD:
“Blame your childhood, blame your dad, blame the life you never had but hurting people, that's your choice”
I fucking love that movie
Me trying to remember if that’s from the movie or musical
@@Marmalade-_- it's from the musical
My Frieeeeend
Because I belive that love will win and hate will give you nothing in the end...
“Hardin saved the used condom and bloody sheets (to show to his friends).” I’m only 8 mins in and this book already killed me 💀💀💀
Fr. It's so cringe
Words can not explain how much I wanted to die when I heard that.
@@Mariam-qf2rt it's not even cringe it's straight up disgusting😭😭😭
I also think it's hugely problematic for an author to perpetuate the blood/virginity myth (since many women never bleed the first time) when there are women KILLED because of this myth.
@@istara No FR?
I also hate the “well the author isn’t endorsing it, she’s just trying to write a story that feels real!” Because if the author REALLY wasn’t endorsing it she would be doing more to inform the YOUNG audience of how a relationship can be abusive while still not being physical. Instead she jumps through hoops to defend their relationship and allows CHILDREN to romanticize them. I know she can’t stop people from loving their relationship, but she can at least provide info in the books or on social media for resources for people in abusive relationships.
Right! She doesn’t once make it clear that nothing in the book was okay. If she’d written it and showed to aftermath of what Hardin had done, and shown how and why it was wrong, and what the effect of that felt like to tessa. MAYBE it would’ve been bare able. But even that is a push
Or at least put an age restriction on it, so that people know that kids and teens shouldn't read this.
@@strawberryfox8819 You think they would listen?
@@chenmae9747 No, but then it would show some form of responsibility on her end. Much like movies are rated R and such. And it would prevent a lot parents from buyjng their kids these shitty books.
@@strawberryfox8819 You know there’s other ways to read it online right? Cause parents know, bc they read the description and check age ratings before buying anything, but If the kid really wants it they would find another way
Maturing is realizing this isn’t a romance series, it’s a psychological horror series.
Is it a good psychological horror series? 🤔
Only RESPECT for this woman... for putting herself through this torture.
Let me correct u. This ‘woman’. I understand what u’re saying, but U’re only talking about 1 woman! U use the phrase ‘Women’ when u’re talking about more than 1 female.😀
Of course I don’t mean any disrespect, I just really wanted 2 correct u b-cause...it’s what I do I guess?😀
@@theoverratedchannel6225 that was typoo .. didn’t realise.
@@mansi3420 u’re welcome.😗✨
The movies is really awful!
@@catherinecampbell1089 yeah I mean if the books were that bad I never had any hope for the movies.
_I_ am offended that this Todd woman is comparing herself to Jane Austen.
WHAT THE F%$K???? when did she do that? i cannot even think about it
she didn't even say that lmao stop making stuff up
@@lightdarkequivalent7143 Oh, she doesn't need to _say_ it, but you'd have to something else to have that 'subtext' fly over your head. When the in text characters keep comparing their relationship to Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy's, it's not coming out of nowhere. The _author_ is writing that. Plus, if she's writing these as romance books, which she decidedly _is,_ then it's clear that's what she really thinks she's writing.
Oh, and I don't mean you as in pointedly _you,_ just in general!
@@kaamn1829 bruh what? making assumptions by her literally talking about classics? She literally admires the works of the classics, it’s fkin stupid of people that assume stuff for no reason. She literally talked about the wuthering heights and several other classics, not just pride and prejudice😐 ur just finding a reason to find more drama for no reason
@@kaamn1829 Just because the author wrote her characters to think a certain way about love doesn't mean _she_ thinks that way lmao. I write as a hobby myself and the things most of my characters think are not the things that I personally think about, but what I imagine _they_ would.
i hate how after fans try to justify and defend the story. i think it’s ok to like something while acknowledging its toxicity, you don’t have to defend something just because you enjoy it. we’re allowed to like shitty things lmao
Can we like someone and see it as flawless? Answer yes. As a media consumer I read and watch things that I enjoy without finding a reason to hate it or see it as problematic
Yea I love the series but you can’t Deny it’s flaws and stuff but tbh it’s just a book 🤷🏽♀️
I loved the series but still I can acknowledge that it was problematic and toxic but for me it wasn't sexually abusive like some people said
Like admit your taste is trash (like the rest of us) and go without trying to justify
@@Jeremysepicreads I'm sorry, but I disagree. I don't think you should ignore a piece of media's flaws just because you like consuming it. If a book has racist undertones, you should acknowkledge it, if a fictional character is misogynistic, you should acknowkledge it, etc. You don't have to stop consuming and enjoying media, but you do have to think critically about it
In real life, tessa would eventualy end up dead, murdered by him after suffering not only this emotional and psychologic abuse, but getting to physical as well
That's what I was thinking when she tries to convince herself that he would never hit her. The amount of people he's hurt so effortlessly, there's only another step to begin beating her for interacting with men or whatever he gets pissed about. Physical abuse would undoubtedly come at some point. I'm not sure if the author would have justified it or finally been responsible. Probably the former. 🙄 Instead of the "He would never actually hit me" it would be "he won't do it again, it was only once and he apologized so much." 😑
I used to worked in a bookstore and when the movie came out the book also became popular. So my colleague and I looked up the plot because we don't have time to read every bestseller in store, but the problem was that high schools were putting this book on their reading list. Soon we had alot of parents coming in asking for this book because their daughters want to read it for school, so my colleague and I would tell the parents everything that happens in the books so that if they buy the book, it would be with the attention to explain that this is a toxic and abusive relationship. Needless to say alot of parents decided not buy the book and ask us for better recommendations.
high schools put this on their reading lists??? that's WHACKED
@@embersremembers well I'm from South Africa. Our education system isn't the best.
@@koetella2598 OMG I'm from SA and never even heard of these books and movies until a few months ago. I am shook that these books r being recommended in our schools. Absolutely appalling. I'm so happy Netflic and Prime has opted out of putting the movies on for us. I am astonished at what young ladies r reading. I am not a fan of Anna Todd at all. I just always thought her msg was not ok. And now look....
Not all heroes wear capes 🫡
Shout out to teenager me, who stayed in toxic relationships way too long, because she had been taught through books and movies and shows that a bad man just needs a good woman to fix him with her vagina magic.
100% same, reading shit like this when I was 12/13 really set me up for some terrible relationships in the future. Girls, please know that behaviour like Hardin's isn't normal, desirable or okay
Same!
So true! So many of us did, it's disgusting looking back and seeing what we were taught.
same!!!!
My sister went through the same thing. When we were in high school everyone kept telling her to not b with him but she stayed cuz in the books and movies he can b fixed. 🤦🏿♀️
She’s outta that situation now.
I feel so bad for Harry Styles, like, he's portrayed as abusive and made him look like a womanizer and playboy when he's anything but. Also, he was 17 at the time and when she wrote it, she was 25 ? 👁👁 he doesn't like to be sexualized and it happened since he was 16 (I think)
His literal motto is "Treat people with kindness" but yeah
i mean he goes for older women now, but i agree
@@cherin2514 he is an adult now and consenting to be with another adult, it's totally different.
@@mariah6395 i know, i was thinking but i do think it was absolutely wrong
he is an absolute cupcake...
@TheKitKatLizard i try so hard to forget that fic and it just keeps reappearing in my life :(
Cheating is not romantic.
thank you like i don’t understand how everyone just overlooks that fact
They didn't cheat
@@alvirasilva9574 Tessa cheated on her high school boyfriend with Hardin toxic ass
@@alvirasilva9574 did u even read the book?
You should have brought some disinfectant before you started spitting straight facts
I can not get past the fact that Anna Todd called infertile women broken. She did that. Harden Scott didn’t say it. She did.
Can we just stop writing bad boys? I think mysterious outcast who is actually nice, but no one knows because of all the rumors about him being a bad news should take its place. Only nice guys from now on y’all. It seems every time someone writes a bad boy they’re abusive and treat women like crap then all of these girls who probably don’t know better defend him.
Mysterious yet sweetheart needs more love in stories, and not just in manga and some artworks I have seen. Himbos, too.
Also, silly/funny guy who has the heart of gold (Ryuji from PS5) or smart (Sokka) troupe needs some love too.
So many different personalities to be explored, and yet these stories are settling for bad boy who is actually dangerous.
@@thgritic102 Amen
@@thgritic102 Exactly what I'm saying! There are so many interesting character types to be explored so why limit male characters to toxic bad boys? This also why these stories shouldn't be hyped the way after was.
@@Savetheunicorns16
Exactly! Like I said, the only time I see any variety in male characters are in manga and artworks, so it feels like YA novel authors are so far behind when it comes to making stock straight characters.
They keep saying they are doing something never done before, and it's the same angsty male MC and mousey FC. I would love to see a mysterious yet timid MC paired with a feisty and aggressively encouraging FC. I would love to see a himbo MC paired with a snobby, tsundere FC. I would love to see an upbeat, tall FC paired with a short, mean looking yet hype man MC.
But I guess I'll do it myself! 🙄😤
@@thgritic102 I feel you so much these sound amazing. I wish I was a writer but alas I am not, which sucks because I have so many ideas. We are definitely on the same page.
my ex bff loved this series. She ended up sleeping with my fiancé. (They were both trash) her taste in books should’ve tipped me off
Periodt 🤪💅 you were blessed and got rid of 2 toxic people in your life❤️
I’m so sorry 🥺
Ouch. Sorry to hear about your at-the-time fiancé, but honey you dodged a bullet with that one honestly
How are you feeling right now
Yikes. Holy crap
After is one of the main reasons fan fiction has a bad reputation
absolutely
Honestly I can only get my romance fix THROUGH fanfiction because I don't want to pay for a genre that has so many tropes that cause me to distrust it. The fact that THIS is the face of romance fanfiction sickens me, because I've read about so many healthy relationships with excellent chemistry in fanfiction. Then again, I also happen to be educated on healthy relationships so I know how to spot red flags early and nope the hell out.
@@CoraMaria i completely agree! i always feel embarrassed to tell people i read fan fiction but it can be so good if you know where to find it! i love it because it can be so diverse and i find the representation so refreshing! not to mention it’s all free!!
@@CoraMaria exactly! i love romance fanfiction but so many 'official' (idk what else to call it) romance genres, both movie and books, have so many gross tropes that i don't wanna risk. i heard that bridgerton was a historical romance and got excited just to find out there's a sa scene in it w/ no warning/consequences. at least ao3 gives you a warning so you know what you're getting yourself into
Not really about your comment, but your pfp is just **mwah**
It’s the fact that Hardin KNOWS exactly what to do and say to be a good partner but actively chooses not to for me
That's the part that keeps making me more and more angry with him.
And then he has the nerve to excuse why he doesn't with "This isn't how life is." Uuuuh life can be anything YOU choose to make, Hardin. You are picking bad choices!
Seems like he never heard of the quote "life is what you make of it" 🙄
“Choices were made by the characters and the author, and none of them were good.”
That’s it. That’s this whole series in a nutshell.
no one really talks about this so i HAVE to mention it. i read after when it was just a fic and anna todd was updating the chapters (yes i am embarrassed but it was one of the few 1d fanfics that i knew of at the time lmao) and i vividly remember that anna todd lied about her age on multiple ocassions. she would say she was a 15 year old who had never had sex (don't know why she thought she needed to share that last bit) and even posted pictures of "her"....then idk how but everyone found out that she was lying. she was 25 years old and married....so on top of romanticizing an abus*ve relationship, she lied about her age, catfished everyone and wrote sexuaI fanfiction about a teenage harry styles as a grown ass woman....it was so messed up. i'm 24 rn and the thought of writing sexuaI scenarios about someone of harry's age at that time (18/19) makes me sick to my stomach
Wow... wow, this woman keeps getting worse and worse, this definitely feels like sexual harassment towards Harry, this is SO GROSS
Who has that much free time on their hands in their mid-twenties? just another scary aspect of that story.
She WHAT?!?!? That's actually gross????
As someone who's been with a guy for 7 years that was raised by his mom alone and had an abusive father before that, there isn't an excuse to being an emotional abuser or jerk.
My boyfriend is the sweetest person I've ever met. He's a nurse, and has told me when we have kids, he wants to be a father to them that he never had. Now comparing that to Hardin...it's crazy that people romanticize that. If my boyfriend threw things around and beat men up just for showing interest in me, I'd RUN!
Mine too! He lives alone with his mum and they’ve been through hell and back together, he has his struggles but he knows it isn’t my job to ‘fix’ him, he is amazing and he’ll be the best husband and father to our children:)
YES. you would think Hardin seeing first hand what his mother went through would make him realize that he should never do that to women. She didn’t talk about this I don’t think but there’s a couple of chapters where Hardin stays out the entire night at a bar and leaves Tessa waiting for him and when Tessa says that he’s no better than his drunk father, instead of reflecting he just gets pissed and yells at her further proving her point. It’s so infuriating
@@ximenasophia3135it’s crazy! You would think his respect for tessa would be sky rocketing after seeing what a drunk man did to his mum!
Legit. In real life that's someone who ends up killing you, not someone you end up happily married to.
Hardin literally becomes a better person in the last book. I'm not defending the shitty things he has done. But we can't deny that his relationship with Tessa gets healthier at the end.
"And sweetie, the answer to that question is: in jail." Favorite Line!
HAHAHAHA
Girl. Girl.
Please for the love of god give yourself some self care and read some cute fluffy romance as a cleanser. Thank you greatly for your sacrifice.
Sending all the virtual hugs of comfort and oh my god comparing Harden to Whickham had me on the floor wheezing,
An hour worth of your content in a blessing but give yourself just an ounce of self care.
Comparing Hardin to Wickham was almost too accurate 😂. It is a classy *chief's kiss clap-back from comparing this series to P&P.
What’s your favorite fluffy romance? Mines is Always Human on WEBTOON so cute 🥰
We have the same profile picture I've NEVER seen anyone else with it OMLLL
@@FullofLit if you wanna read some Enemies to Lovers trope you can read The Cruel Prince by Holly Black
'Where is my Harden?'
'Sweetie, the answer is in jail.'
We can only hope that's true 👏🏻
Urgh I’ve seen t shirt with that sort of quote. Like…you really don’t want a Hardin!
"You committed a crime by videotaping having sex with a girl without her consent?!"
"It's ok, my girlfriend forgave me."
The mentality that 'you can't judge the series by only one book' is so ridiculous. Maybe the series does get better, but if the first book is truly bad then why on earth would I pick up the others?
Same goes for films and TV series. I'm not gonna waste a huge chunk of my time just because the 3rd, 4th, 5th, etc, instalment of a series is good. It's not my job to push through, it's the writers job to engage me.
And even then, everyone has different tastes and likes different things. Some things just aren't for some people and are for others (although I feel iffy about throwing that argument around when it comes to content that romanticises problematic stuff, because I feel like that sort of thing shouldn't be for anyone).
I do agree with you to some extent but this series does get better as it goes.
I agree
@@Jeremysepicreads have you even read what she said bc clearly you fully didn’t comprehend with what she said
Yeah the only times this is sorta understandable is when the first part is merely mediocre.
Hell, I judge a book based on the first 50 pages. If it's not good enough to engage me by then... be a better writer... I do not owe my time or money to any author to give their work "more time". One woman's opinion.
After this whole rant, I am literally so hurt and offended by the portrayal of women in this whole series, how it used sexual assault for plot device and how women are thrown around like toys, men betting on for their virginity, talking about them as objects and fucking filming them while having sex??!! I seriously have lost faith in humanity because as much as this book is all fiction, the way they treat women is so much real because it's really happening now as well and I am just really hurt. Just what was Anna Todd thinking? And what is going on in the mind of those creators to adapt it into a movie? Why just why is it so hard to portray a healthy relationship in a movie or a series in today's media?
Couldn't agree more. Both men, and especially women, deserve to see better relationships shown. They deserve better relationships, period.
honestly, anna todd could have written a book like that in which men treat women like absolute shit and then one of them gets into a toxic relationship with a new girl. it could have been a good plot, but the book should have ended with the girl realizing her worth and leaving the guy. it would have been a great and empowering novel but she missed the opportunity
the fact that there are people in the comments defending this shit makes me sad
@@msdilaurentits5777 RIGHTTT like and they’re like “hEs BeEn ThRoUgH tRaMuA” that’s why he acts like that like no im not trying to take away from anyone who’s had a traumatic experience i completely understand but it doesn’t give in excuse to be a shitty and abusive person
thankfully the movie omits that ( I haven't seen the second one but the first one did) and apparently people were mad at how different it was and harassed the female director Julia Cudney did a great video on it. I had a friend who loved the first movie she went to go check out the book and was horrified at how disgusting it was and didn't pick up the rest of the series but she still likes the movies.
the amount of internalized misogyny anna todd carries is appalling at best
This is honestly saying something, given that she herself is a woman.
@@kevinyeh8891 that’s why it’s internalised misogyny lmao
@@kevinyeh8891 That's what internalized misogyny means, it's women hating other women.
@Senpai Jecho
Agreed!
Also unrelated, but is that Xue Yang as your profile pic? :O
YES ITS SO BAD
"Well, How many red flags does Hardin have?"
Anna Todd: yes.
“Before, which is After from Hardin’s perspective”
I see E.L. James was not the only one who hopped on that bandwagon after the Midnight Sun leak
The Divergent author did it a while back tho 🤔
@@NadiasCloud Yeah, but the Midnight Sun leak was 6 years before Four. Not a stretch to think it inspired Roth as well.
@@TheRonnieaj no arguement from me. Never followed twilight news so didnt know. Just commented what I thought
I have a degree in English Lit and Composition and one of my senior seminar classes was on Jane Austen and I read every single one of her books, and I WHOLE-HEARTEDLY agree with you that Anna Todd comparing their relationship to Elizabeth and Darcy is a crime only punishable by death lol
Is was deeply offended by the comparison they made. That shit hurt man ;(
I've read pride and prejudice and wuthering heights (not by Jane Austen obvi, but also quoted in hardins DISGUSTING monologue) and I refuse to allow this blasphemy to be compared to these revolutionary classics.
Fuck the ending to the book, it’s not cannon as long as I breathe. Tessa left Hardin in the dust and pursued her career in whatever in which she was super successful. Tessa gets a man or woman 👀 who treats her right and adopts some kids. Hardin goes to prison for his crimes and gets therapy. He lives in a small apartment in London and his new healthy relationships are with a tabby cat and a plant. He will never have another girlfriend and he’s okay with that.
Tessa adopts a child with her lovely wife, goes on to create her own publishing company, apologizes to Noah for cheating, gets an undercut, actively blocks Hardin on all forms of social media and lives Happily Ever After. Fuck Anna Todd
@@mercurys-r9777 This! Anna Todd cannot write
@Jesslyn Rodriguez How to spot a victim 101, she teaches at the local university when she has the time
That poor tabby cat :(
You should really write a fix-it fic. God knows how many people need it.
the way i am SO excited for this i will literally be breaking it up so it lasts as long as possible THANK YOU FOR THIS SACRIFICE M'AM ILY
Hi Kat, I love your videos!
@@FullofLit I’ve watched this video so many times now, it’s so entertaining
I CANNOT imagine anyone GENUINELY trying to defend a book like this without being completely ignorant, naive, and immature to the gravity of the issues it "discusses". Seeing those people coming at you for criticizing it is goddamn aborrent
LITERALLY as a teenage girl in this day and age so many girls try too defend hardin and their relationship as well as the books and movies and it’s so sickening
The vast majority of After stans are teenagers, which is truly terrifying
I’m terrified for the young girls that romanticize this relationship
I hate this series so much but especially saying that the only abuse is physical and that emotional abuse doesn't count PISSES ME OFF
I will never not agree with this.
Honestly, I didn't like it after 150 pages because woah, so many unnecessary dramas and Hardin almost abused Tessa.
I think she purposefully pushed unnecessary drama to make it a long series.
16:34 She's really pretentious thinking her work could be compared with Jane Austen's
I really think Jane Austen would resurrect herself just so she can smack her
Honestly if that's the case, then the best thing that can happen to this series is to be forgotten by time that it ever existed
Especially since it's obvious that she didn't understand anything about Pride and Prejudice.
Also, the Emily Bronte quote "Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same." IS NOT ROMANTIC. Heathcliff and Catherine are very likely half-siblings, or at the very least adopted siblings and in the 1800s, laws prohibited adopted children, foster children, or any children raised together from marrying one another so either way ✨incest✨
medium.com/@smashlee011/please-stop-using-this-emily-bront%C3%AB-quote-as-if-it-is-romantic-its-not-ec14582298a7
I really don't understand and it frankly bothers me that Anna Todd is trying to justify abusive behavior and the "he'll change" BS so much throughout her books. I know there's other fanfic like that though and it probably wouldn't bother me so much if it wasn't published and getting so much mainstream attention.
Side note, I know Anna Todd also has a Little Women retelling and I'm so tempted to read it, but I'm not sure if i can suffer through her destruction of my favorite book of all time.
if you read it, let me know cause I'm really curious haha
I read on goodreads that the spring girls is just bad
@@larirodrigues25 I definitely will. If I do read it though it probably won't be any time soon.
@@kevinyeh8891 that doesn't surprise me and that's why I'm reluctant. She needs to be stopped.
@@ElizabethNicoleSchwartz prob right, but she first really needs to go to a creative writing class and also learn about what relationships should be like
i just can't understand people who go "this story isn't based on harry, he's just a muse" even though if you read the book when it was first popular, the names of Hardin and his friends were named as the 1D member's names. The book literally got famous bc 1D fanfics were so popular and it happened to be the biggest one.
Yeah like why try and deny that fact 😭 I remember that shit was like no.1 in the 1D topic/“category”
when i was 12 i read after, and when i finished the series i was so in love with their relationship that i wanted one like that of my own, i wanted a toxic man so i could "fix" him. and at 15 with that mind set i started dating a toxic person and ended up with a bunch of trauma. it was nothing like after, obviously, but honestly this just shows how this stories are wrong and how it shows teenage girls that "the bad boy" who treats you like shit is romantic and you should keep dating them cus its so "relationship goals" and that the only person that they can treat right is you but no one else and that IS SO ROMANTIC. this type of stories should never be glorified and should never be advertised to teenage girls.
i regret reading that book at that age, i regret reading it at all actually
i hope this video reaches people who think abusive relationships are good
Sorry, dear... Do you know that the excuse of the male lead being toxic is bullshit I have seen domestic violence... And I am telling you, My father is abusive and drinks etc my brother hate him till death and hates alcohol also is very respectful to women because he doesn't want anyone to suffer like us and this book shows that people who suffered violence turned out like male lead is disgusting
Totally agree with June. This book shows just a perspective of a toxic relationship (to be aware) not for falling in the same manner
"There's merch that I'm pretty much sure says: Where's my Hardin Scott... And sweetie, the answer to that question is IN JAIL." this broke me😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I can't see any bigger sign of an abusive relationship than the abusive man saying that EVERY man is just like him and EVERY relationship is just like theirs. It's literally meant to make the person lose any hope of improvement because ""everyone"" is like this and she won't get anyone better or different by leaving. Gaslighting 101, god I hate this man
Gas lighters always tell you that you should depend on THEM and them only. And when you don't, they blame you for not trusting them or not putting any effort or acting "childishly".
Same with the "but there's no PHYSICAL violence!!" can't tell if it was just Tessa's character saying it or if he was also saying it, but honestly if the bar is that low you need to reevaluate your standards and self-worth
I read the After series as a teenager , and I can't deny that it played a big role in me getting into reading since it is very easy to read those books, at the time it was the first bad boy story I read and I couldn't and didn't know that the relationship was toxic , that you weren't supposed to treat you partner as such , I am ashamed to say I believed abuse to be only physical and not emotional , after some time I have come across books that educated me on and made me realize that I used to love a toxic relationship . And that's the terrible message of this series : it makes young girls believe that there is a dark edgy boy waiting for them , that their sole role is changing them and the books romanticize that , and I hate that After isn't the only series that does that .
Thank you. There are still SOOOOO many defending this absolute hot, steaming *trash* , and what concerns me is that the majority are young girls who see this as an ideal relationship. It's just- bad.
You are correct :(
I can relate to this so much and I literally hate myself so much for getting a physical copy of that book. I read the 1st book and glorified the prospect of being with a 'bad boy' so much until I actually had to experience unhealthy relationship firsthand to notice that this was not okay and that it might sound fascinating on paper but really it's just draining and unstable in real life. I would even say reading these types of series are detrimental to individual health and society because not only do they normalize toxicity but also misogyny, sexism, slut shaming and every demeaning concept for women to ever exist.
@@evianblue Thank you for coming forward about that, I'm sure it was not an easy time for you- and was a highly unpleasant experience to go through. It is amazing that you have come through that and the fact that you can talk about it simply demonstrates how strong you are. Much stronger than Tessa is anyway 😂
@@ashthepotato3172 thank you, it means a lot. I really hope people stop following this trash because media consumption plays a huge part in establishing decent behavior among individuals and reading pieces like these will ultimately end up with most of the world behaving like complete delusional animalistic entitled assholes
also the fact that Tessa is basically the author's self-insert (she admitted to this years ago) never sat right with me. that woman was in her 20s (and MARRIED) when she wrote After and imagining herself in these situations with a 18/19 year old Harry. nasty
Anna Todd is a horrible person. Her response to her critics when they said that she was promoting abusive relationships was absolutely disgusting. You can tell that Tessa is a self insert and that's why her character is awful.
What are the response to her critics? just curious
I know she compared the criticism to a Song of Ice and Fire books saying “Well george rr martin killed characters all the time and no one cares!” Ma’am! They die because actions have consequences! Not because plot.
And yes, she did say herself she wanted this to be a modern retelling of Pride and Prejudice!
@@MajesticAngel13 And it’s not that GRRM only killed good guys for shits and giggles. He also killed a lot of bad guys when it made sense.
I never really got the appeal of the bad boy trope with the abusive relationships in the fanfiction community. Friends to Lovers is LITERALLY right there not getting this much love. The pining??? The angst??? The soft confessions??? Let's go, baby
Bad boys are one thing , abusers are another , why do writers not get that?
*certain writers
enemies to lovers when done right is my fav!!
@@dinuridesilva4879 yeah, I‘m an absolute sucker for enemies to lovers, but only when it’s done a certain way
@@adrienscrown2079 yep that’s why I said when done right!! The trope has so much potential, like the tension, honestly everything but people sometimes mess it up sooo bad !!
I wanted a Lala ending where they meet up ten years later and Tessa has a family of her own and Harden has gone to therapy.
Best ending right here.
Ugh that scene killed me, if only they could've added even a slight semblance of meaning to the dumpster fire that is the after saga i could've given it an ounce of respect 😔
YES
no that would literally be horrible
@@marnita5132 well the books are already horrible it’s not like it can get worse
me: it can't get any worse
daria: hold my notebook.
The part that made me so furious is when he told Tessa’s realtor not to give her the apartment. He let her wonder why the realtor wasn’t calling her back knowing that he was the one that screwed it up for her all because she wanted to follow her dreams instead of following him to the end of the earth.
I used to work in a group home for teen girls. They loved After and wanted a Harden in their life. Some of these girls had boyfriends 10 years old than themselves and they talked about how they needed to save them. I can't help but blame a lot, including media for this.
honestly idek how she forgave him after the natalie situation... like everything he did before that was HORRIBLE... but like ok she forgave him then THAT and she just jumped right back in. I would be traumatized
i would’ve run for hills (in fact - no). i wouldn’t have ever gone near him lmao
Those 33 dislikes are girls that need help. You’re either too young and think this type of relationship is romantic and that boys like this are cute and can be fixed. Or you are suffering from domestic violence and need help.
Modern day Mr. Wickam! Yes!! I hate that these books tried to besmirch the good names of Darcy and Elizabeth!
FullofLit exactly! like fine you can like the book even mention it a few times but DON’T COMPARE YOUR SHITTY ROMANCE TO ONE OF THE BEST NOVELS OF ALL TIME
So basically Hardin watched Tessa literally have a mental breakdown down about him being close to her and told her, while she wasn’t mentally okay, that they should get married. She wasn’t mentally okay and that man used that to make her come back to him
when you told me natalie forgave and prayed for hardin, my heart fell out my chest
Mine too 😢 tragedy
That's where I stopped reading the books. I picked them up to look what was currently popular in the ya section and... It was so abhorrent I could no longer even try to continue.
Yeah, like, you randomly run into the guy who abused your most intimate part of your life, and he shows zero remorse or sympathy and you just gush at him about omg I forgive you like we are so good man yay my life went in a great direction I'm domesticated and have no career and its all thansk to you you're my hero.
How are these popular? How are these turned into movies when there are other popular books that deserve movies?! These are sick. The author is sick and should be ashamed to write such trash.
It's called "Hollywood"! They def. DON'T have morals(& never will, it's all about money) or care about the effects these books & movies could have on younger people reading & watching! I'm sure there are many parents out there, that if they read these books or saw the movies themselves, would not let their 13-14yr old, daughter or son, go see these movies or read the books! Esp., starting w/ the first, which was rated PG13, & a lot of parents will go by that rating, allowing their teen to watch, but not truly knowing, just how bad, some of these characters actions truly are & it's not just a lil nudity, talk of sex, drugs, or smoking cigarettes in a scene, etc., they have no idea, how this seems to normalize, things that are so criminal! 😟
@@tamarab6259 It’s not just “Hollywood” it’s also the people who watch it and think it’s good or ok or even idolized consumers are at fault too for speak highly of it
idk what ur on but the book is good and the author isn't trash so shut up cus I wanna see u try to write something better
Dude it was a wattpad story from 2013 that got famous, if your book isn’t getting noticed it’s no ones fault, that’s how life works :)
I agree 100%. But nooo, it's ALWAYS gotta be the bad boy trope.
Fun Fact: When these books were published, like in PAPERBACK book, Anna Todd was 24 and Harry styles was 19. Let that Sink in. Also when she wrote it in her college notebooks she was like like 19 or 20 he was 14 or 15. What the Actual Frick?!!!!! Then she published it on wattpad in 2013 when she was 23.
hey, where can i read about that? like what's the source?
That's fucked! I can't imagine that happening to anyone, ever, but to someone with *such* a high profile like Harry?
@Romy van Dam 16? He’s a minor or was
@Romy van Dam Ok.
🤢🤢 it’s so upsetting
I listened to the first After audiobook and wished i could get my money and time back lmao. Thanks for making this video to remind me why i shouldn't bother to continue it!! I Subscribed!!
Hi Thumin! Love your videos!
Thumin! I love your videos 💓
Hello Thumin! I love your videos and art!
I just get so angry that Anna Todd is normalizing emotional abuse. As someone who had to deal with it, it really, really hurts to see that. And I am really worried for all the fans of the series who think that this is normal or that this is justified, because it's not!
The mental gymnastics After stans have to pull off to justify Hardin’s behavior (and Anna Todd’s narrative choices as the author) is astounding. It should really be an Olympic sport.
The real tea is that Hardin would never walk across an entire field and tell Tessa that she bewitched him body and soul with no expectations that she wouldn't immediately push him down on the ground to have sex.
That comparison made me choke on my coffee. I would bet money that Anna Todd has never even read the book or watched the series/the movie.
Let’s not forget this was written about a 17 year old Harry Styles when Anna was not a minor. It’d still be a gross story even if she was a minor too.
I was like 13 years old thinking this was an ok relationship 🥴
Remember that if someone loves you they would never lay a hand on you. You deserve better.
Yeah, the part about Harry being a minor and Anna being in her mid 20s has always been gross as hell.
After is the ONLY book I've ever completely given up on. It's also the only book that I've thrown away. So thank you for this. Now I know I made the right decision.
Same
The fact that the author even DARED to compare what she wrote with the absolute MASTERPIECE that is Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice is a sin in itself. Like hell no, you ain’t even holding a candle to it!
Stay in your lane, Anna Todd.
the dislikes are the little middle school girls who dont understand how abuse works
I’m honestly disappointed that these books were even published. My best friend loves these stories and loves Hardin and I’m just like no❤️ In what world is he a normal, healthy, and non-abusive idiot. maybe you find him attractive in the movies but that does not mean that you should romanticise who he is and how he treats a relationship.
I agree, and kinda relate cause my cousin is obsessed with this series, these movies and it takes so much physical restraint from my part to not yell out "HE'S ABUSIVE" at her everytime she posts about him, like I thought the book was bad but then I saw this video and I'm like, how do I break this to her, cause she basically has but this book on this high pedastal and thinks this is the epitome of a real relationship, it's exhausting to see her think this toxicity is ok, but I know and hope she'll realise that it's not right when she gets more mature
@@emaan6408 You are completely right to call out the toxicity. Even if she doesn't believe you yet. I'd say to keep calling it out so she keeps it in mind when starting her own relationships. Hardin is not a standard that should be sought after.
my ex BFF loved this series. She ended up sleeping with my fiancé. (They were both trash) her taste in books should’ve tipped me off
My friend loves them and I don't know how to tell her it's harry styles fanfic about an abusive relationship
This relationship is so toxic and unhealthy and Hardin is so unnecessarily violent that the only realistic way for this series to end is if Hardin and Tessa go all Starkweather and Fugate. I know that isn't going to be the ending but them going on a cross-country killing spree would be a way more realistic (and better) ending.
Hardin isnt Mr Darcy
Hardin is Willoughby in a leather jacket
LOVE how Natalie just forgives him bc it’s totally ok now! No long lasting consequences whatsoever and we HAVE to know what a GOOD GUY he is now *I hate it here is this hell*
The part where Hardin tells Tess off for not being happy in an abusive relationship.
Just... I didn't know I could get that angry at a concept, holy shit.
I love watching reviews of books I haven't and wasn't going to read anyway, just to make sure they're as bad as I thought they would be. Thank you, Daria :D
I do that with books and movies, it's way too entertaining to pass on that 😆
OMG same. All my fave booktubers have read this series, and I feel like i've read it through them. lol 😆😆
If they wanted to show a toxic relationship it should have been how a toxic/abusive relationship effects a person not romanticize it
"But he'll never physically hurt me" got the same vibes as "Azula always lies" and that's horrible
Nah azula always lies is ten times worse she wasn’t even 10 when she started manipulating zuko.
@@madysonroberts1608 aww poor zuko boohoo
@@catherinewyler8377 LOL
@@catherinewyler8377 It is the truth, she was an abuse victim and an abuser 🤦🏾♀️
@@catherinewyler8377 LMAOO 😂😂
it’s just the fact that anna todd wrote hardin herself, and made other characters realise how awful of a person he is, but she still wants us to believe he’s a good person who we should be rooting for like wtf
I hadn't thought much about the Pride & Prejudice comparisons (and I've only watched the movies, haven't yet read the books), but now that you mention it, FullofLit, I fully share your taking umbrage with Anna Todd on that.
Let us just take a moment to appreciate this beautiful girl torturing herself by reading this entire series.
I read about 62 chapters into the original, Wattpad version and needless to say, I abandoned it with no regrets. (That ish has 99 chapters, holy-) Then I was contemplating reading the entire series because I'm dying of boredom, and I'm really glad I didn't decide to go with it.
And what's the worse part of this series isn't even Anna Todd inviting poor Harry to the movie premiere. This series started from a fanfiction, the only real difference between the final novel and the Wattpad version is the slight altering of Harry to Hardin and Styles to Scott. It's a fanfiction. Of sweet, gentlemanly, goofy Harry Styles. And Hardin, who is supposedly based on Harry, doesn't even have a personality similar to him. It's one thing creating a possessive, violent, broken character, but it's something else entirely to base him off someone so nice, sweet and adorable.
I don't really care about the fact that it's been what, 3 months since this video was posted, I just think you truly need a break, cause 3 months is not enough to recover from this trauma.
Check out Robert Thier's Storm and Silence series, I'm not sure if it has audiobooks, but you can find the 6-book series on Wattpad with google translate voicing it on the website (it doesn't work on mobile). You can read it on Epub.pub except for the 6th book. I absolutely love the series.
i read the entire series on wattpad & can assure you made the right decision by stopping lol. the entire series is clearly anna todd living out her fanfic dream whilst sexualising a 17 year old. how she got a film deal i’ll never understand
Time stamps
After - 4:24
After We Collided - 8:23
After We Fell - 18:28
After Ever Happy - 37:29
Initial Final thoughts - 51:36
Before - 55:47
Final thoughts - 59:05
mister darcy I'm sorry honey
I hate it when people go "the series is so good after the ___ book" like I'm not gonna read 4 books just for it to get good..
Exactly the first book should be where everything gets good, I hate when ppl say that especially when it’s about a book. that’s time consuming and alottt of reading
If the first book can't be a stand alone then it doesn't work, every book should be able to handle itself in its own
As a stranger on the Internet, I can confidently tell you that anyone bullies you into agreeing with their opinion is someone who is so insecure and immature that anyone who dares to disagree with them is treated like Public Enemy Number One. They act as if they are not constantly validated then their heads will explode. It’s not the end of the world if someone hates something you like! Welcome to the real world: you don’t get a trophy for existing. People will hate things you like and you have to find a way to deal with it. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and nothing should invalidate those feelings.
the fact that, as you said, this series uses such a grueling and disgusting, and hurtful circumstance as sexual violence as "plot devices" is absurd. i also find it upsetting how every female character in this book besides tessa is painted as a "villain" or in a bad light in general. anna todd needs to unpack her internalized misogyny.
when i say i was speechless when Tessa rlly THANKED Hardin for not hitting Landon, omd i acc can't-
I love how every person rants like a whole hour about these books. that's the level of stress the stupidity of anna todd put people through and the big amount of material to rant she gives
I can't believe I'm going to say this but for once.... I have no additional words... You 100% nailed it. Thank you for taking the exhausting amount of time to say what so many people with preferred standards want & need in reading. And more to the point WHAT WE DEFINITELY DO NOT NEED!!!!
Tessa enabled this man to stay THE SAME 👏👏👏 There's no character development for both of them without self reflection, hence by staying together. None of them dared to cut the toxic dynamic despite it affecting their lives, because both are very codependent on each other. Tessa had the potential to be a powerful character, but the author gave her a role that instead highlights Hardin's character, which is why he seemed more like the main protagonist mid to end of the series (which he is, but he seemed more like a villain protag)
"I am so sorry Samantha that you're being disrespected in this way"
I know you're talking about the character in the book but as a Samantha, I'm keeping this line for future positivity, thank you.
you know that a character has not had any development whatsoever when the book literally has to *tell* you they have
I really worry a little bit about the author with her insisting though Hardin that their relationship is just unhealthy and not abusive. Unhealthy, to me at least, is when your partner says minor hurtful things over and over, while knowing that it bothers you. Its when they don’t ever take your feelings into consideration for day to day things like saying when they'll be home late, or having people over, or doing household chores. Its when your ideals and beliefs don’t match up so you’re always butting heads over them. Hardin is straight up abusing her by having very violent tantrums every time something doesn't go his way, and while he's not hitting HER, violence as your emotional outlet onto anything still makes your partner afraid of you and gives you control over them. He isolates her from family, friends, potential jobs and futures, and expects her to follow exactly what he wants to happen in their future. Same with the marriage thing, if she didn't put her foot down like that, he probably would've refused to marry her for their entire lives, even if they did end up having kids together. The fact that people defend this series at all, especially after reading all the books, honestly makes me scared for them, cause they probably think this kind of behavior is ok. I worry less so about the author cause she seems to be aware that their relationship is abusive on some level with how often she has side characters give Tessa a wake up call and tell her to her face that her relationship with Hardin needs to end. UGHHHHH WHY ARE BOOKS LIKE THIS POPULAR?! How is it anyones romantic fantasy to tell your boyfriend you’re partially infertile, and having him immediately get mad at you and think that you’re broken? Like how can anyone like this guy?
This entire series just tells me that Noah and Landon deserved better
Especially Noah.
So glad I didn't read these books (or watch the movies). I would have been so angry the whole time. Just because Hardin didn't hit Tessa, doesn't mean their relationship wasn't abusive. As a survivor of emotional & psychological abuse, the messaging is a slap in the face to people who have been through this.