Omg i'm almost in tears, i have never seen a nonbinary person in real life, sometimes it feels like i don't even exist. Thanks for this, thanks for the representation, thanks for putting this out, young me would have love this.
I’m a 14 (15 in a week) year old and i just learned earlier this year that i am nonbinary and i came out like a month ago and i have quite a lot of mental issues so i go to therapists and doctors and such and it is so awful because i have to go to a lot of new people and it still says on the papers that i am a Guy and it says my old name and it just causes such a ton of dysphoria for me to go to all these new people that call me a guy and talk to me like I’m a guy and everything and I kinda just wanted to rant about this
As a left-leaning SWM, I’m thankful you made this episode. It’s so great to hear such a wonderful collection of people all share your thoughts and experiences.
I often default to they/them, even when it's not necessary. Like, I do it by accident, and it sometimes confuses people, especially when I refer to the same binary person with gendered pronouns after using neutral ones in the same sentence.
About makeup, there is also soooo much pressure for cis women to love and wear makeup. I still have friends who are dying to bring me to Sephora so I can get a full face of makeup and that just sounds nightmarish.
i am trans man that is not straight, and as such i completely understand the last question. I thought gay men would never desire or love me, but that is just not true. Some will not see you as a man (which... yikes) or just wont "prefer" people like us, but you don't want or need those people. I met my soon to be husband not long ago, he is a gay cis man, and i was scared shitless to tell him i was trans when we started dating, but he literally didnt care at all. He loves me for the man i am, eveything else was secondary for him. We can use toys if we want or need, it's gonna be ok. You will find your person 😆 don't worry! and rely on your community 💕
I went and followed Ally and a bunch of other non-binary people on Instagram after this. I never realized that by only following people I knew I was limiting myself. I definitely want to widen my world and see more people like me. I’m still coming into my non-binary identity, and this podcast made me cry. I felt so seen and loved. Thank you guys.
I'm a straight white cis male and I started to get the feeling that I wasn't welcome to watch this video around the time they started making jokes about predators. I want to support my LGBT+ friends and understand them better but if these videos aren't trying to be inclusive and I'm likely to come away resenting the people in the video then I should just go, right? Edit: I sucked it up, kept watching and I'm glad I did. These are conversations my friends aren't having with me. I feel like I'm learning a lot.
mooxim I’m a straight girl but I’ve felt like I was like I’m in between out and in the Closet because I’m a tomboy and my mom takes it the wrong way that I’m lesbian (I love the LGBT but I’m not gay myself. I don’t hate them.) I felt like I’m in the Closet as a way because I haven’t told everybody I’m a tomboy but I’m also “out” because I’m straight, I really feel stuck. Some of my gay friends would say I don’t fit in the “stuck in the Closet” but some of my other gay friends say I do and myself. This podcast has taught me so many things about LGBT and know that literally ANYONE can be in the Closet. I cry sometimes when they talk about hiding things from their parents because of the fear of being rejected and disowned.
the ppl on the podcast today... like.. I'M a chicagoan nb that uses any and all pronouns, is moving to LA and was going to move to austin texas..... wrow
As a cis-gendered straight woman who's trying to learn more about this unique community, I'm sensing a lot of hate towards us. We're not all bad! Some of us just need some time to get used to things...almost like how your parents had to get used to your new identity when you told them.
So I watch this podcast as someone who has always identified as a very liberal person with a very live and let live attitude to life but I've begun to struggle a little with some of the more sudden and radical changes to gender politics and its discourse. These days I would probably be considered fairly conservative by the standards of this podcast. I listen because I want to be someone who listens and I do really want to be considered an ally in the fight for all things fair, friendly and equal...But. I find that this podcast (and discourse like it in general) have sometimes become echo chambers filled with malcontent for any opposition to these views. For example I couldn't help but cringe when the whole couch rolled their eyes and scoffed at the idea of a preliminary mental examination being performed on someone looking to go under the knife and have permanent body altering surgery. I mean is it not reasonable for trained doctors (or even the company paying for it) to feel like it's necessary to make damn sure that a permanent body altering SURGERY (that thing usually reserved for life threatening ailments) is worth a professional opinion? (especially considering it turned out to be a great experience). Again I want to understand and I want to be as much an ally as I can but it's stuff like this that feels less and less like a conversation. When I hear the contempt in Ally's voice when she talks about the waitress misgendering her I can't help but see myself as the waitress, just a random person trying to be (traditionally) respectful to a stranger after an exhausting 6 hour shift who is suddenly the inconsiderate bully for having failed to adapt quickly enough to a brand new and still evolving set of social rules. I don't want to downplay Ally's frustration but the coin has two sides. I know this podcast wasn't made for me being an only mildly bi-sexual mostly cis-male guy but sometimes even when trying to take the time to open my ears and my mind to the challenges all of you are going through I can't help but feel like 'the enemy' when the response to an argument like "we need to tackle one cultural shift at a time" is met with "I'm going to scream" instead of a rational argument as someone who has tried and struggled to change how I see and interact with people on a day to day basis, one step at a time. Sorry for the long rant, still think it's a fun and interesting podcast to come and listen to and I remain a fan of those involved.
Jonathan Lautre with the groaning about going to the doctor for top surgery, I thought they were more over responding to the negativity of regularly having to deal with transphobic doctors
quick reminder, ally does go by they/them pronouns as far as i know, most cosmetic surgeries don't require mental exams. if ally had been trying to get breast implants, would they have been given the same treatment that they were given for pursuing top surgery? implants are a body altering surgery too, but i don't really see people doubting the mental fortitude of the people who decide to get those. a medical opinion on the safety of having this procedure done is one thing, but forcing someone to "prove" that they're nonbinary and not just doing this for "attention" is something completely different. the whole "we need to tackle one cultural shift at a time" thing is really painful to have to deal with as well. i am not non-binary but i assume it feels like someone is telling you to put your humanity on hold for "the greater good". like "you're not allowed to want people to respect your identity UNTIL we get them on board with this other thing". i can't imagine how hurtful it would feel to be told that your identity is "getting in the way" of progress.
When a woman goes in for a book job, does she have to get a mental assement? No. When a guy goes in for liposuction, do they have to get a mental assessment? No. The problem is that to be who you are need a mental assement, but Cis people, to feel "better about yourself" you can simply get it done.
Omg i'm almost in tears, i have never seen a nonbinary person in real life, sometimes it feels like i don't even exist. Thanks for this, thanks for the representation, thanks for putting this out, young me would have love this.
😊
How's it going Mou Khu?
just discovered this series, so glad to hear all the varying experiences and perspectives
Holy shit, Fightmaster is the most badass last name I've ever heard.
OMG Travis is Brian from the Brooklyn Nine Nine episode! The one whose dream is to sing!!!
Honestly the best podcast so far really helped me thank you for the platform you created
So many candles 🕯
the candle bit gets funnier and funnier.
ally thinks it's funny jfjfjfjf but listen we'll let them have it its cute theyre cute
I’m a 14 (15 in a week) year old and i just learned earlier this year that i am nonbinary and i came out like a month ago and i have quite a lot of mental issues so i go to therapists and doctors and such and it is so awful because i have to go to a lot of new people and it still says on the papers that i am a Guy and it says my old name and it just causes such a ton of dysphoria for me to go to all these new people that call me a guy and talk to me like I’m a guy and everything and I kinda just wanted to rant about this
As a left-leaning SWM, I’m thankful you made this episode. It’s so great to hear such a wonderful collection of people all share your thoughts and experiences.
I hope I won't come off as way too ignorant, but what does SWM mean?
Rômulo Rulsat it stands for Straight White Male - the most privileged of them all!
Thanks for answering! ❤
This show makes me feel so seen
Same here
I often default to they/them, even when it's not necessary. Like, I do it by accident, and it sometimes confuses people, especially when I refer to the same binary person with gendered pronouns after using neutral ones in the same sentence.
About makeup, there is also soooo much pressure for cis women to love and wear makeup. I still have friends who are dying to bring me to Sephora so I can get a full face of makeup and that just sounds nightmarish.
Thank you. I needed that.
i am trans man that is not straight, and as such i completely understand the last question. I thought gay men would never desire or love me, but that is just not true. Some will not see you as a man (which... yikes) or just wont "prefer" people like us, but you don't want or need those people.
I met my soon to be husband not long ago, he is a gay cis man, and i was scared shitless to tell him i was trans when we started dating, but he literally didnt care at all. He loves me for the man i am, eveything else was secondary for him. We can use toys if we want or need, it's gonna be ok.
You will find your person 😆 don't worry! and rely on your community 💕
Hell yah! Live it up!!
You didn't upload episode 9??
"Never let the straights watch us crumble" 😂 got me...
I went and followed Ally and a bunch of other non-binary people on Instagram after this. I never realized that by only following people I knew I was limiting myself. I definitely want to widen my world and see more people like me. I’m still coming into my non-binary identity, and this podcast made me cry. I felt so seen and loved. Thank you guys.
Thank you thank you thank for this episode ❤️
Hearing what Travis had to say was really helpful and uplifting.
God i love this podcast
Where was episode 9??
I'm a straight white cis male and I started to get the feeling that I wasn't welcome to watch this video around the time they started making jokes about predators. I want to support my LGBT+ friends and understand them better but if these videos aren't trying to be inclusive and I'm likely to come away resenting the people in the video then I should just go, right?
Edit: I sucked it up, kept watching and I'm glad I did. These are conversations my friends aren't having with me. I feel like I'm learning a lot.
mooxim that's actually really nice to hear!!
I think that wasn’t the most tasteful joke(I am a bi man). Anyway, thank you so much for being a supportive ally! Have a nice day :)
mooxim I’m a straight girl but I’ve felt like I was like I’m in between out and in the Closet because I’m a tomboy and my mom takes it the wrong way that I’m lesbian (I love the LGBT but I’m not gay myself. I don’t hate them.) I felt like I’m in the Closet as a way because I haven’t told everybody I’m a tomboy but I’m also “out” because I’m straight, I really feel stuck. Some of my gay friends would say I don’t fit in the “stuck in the Closet” but some of my other gay friends say I do and myself. This podcast has taught me so many things about LGBT and know that literally ANYONE can be in the Closet. I cry sometimes when they talk about hiding things from their parents because of the fear of being rejected and disowned.
Hoho I thought Emily was Kera for a second. I love that they returned in this episode! Travis reminds me so much of the only nb friend I have haha.
Being a drag queen doesn’t necessarily mean you’re nonbinary. There are people who are both, but I feel like Travis was a weird pick for this episode.
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God I love this podcast.
the ppl on the podcast today... like.. I'M a chicagoan nb that uses any and all pronouns, is moving to LA and was going to move to austin texas..... wrow
❤❤
There’s so much hate….. I can’t 🖕
heyyy i changed my name to max ! (but like immmm trans & it was a big adjustment for my family & friends lol)
also the gorgeous this is cute💕
Congrats! It’s a cool name :)
51:51
As a cis-gendered straight woman who's trying to learn more about this unique community, I'm sensing a lot of hate towards us. We're not all bad! Some of us just need some time to get used to things...almost like how your parents had to get used to your new identity when you told them.
What exactly is this hate that you're describing?
Shiiiite so few views!?? Why?
Lit
!!
Hmm
So I watch this podcast as someone who has always identified as a very liberal person with a very live and let live attitude to life but I've begun to struggle a little with some of the more sudden and radical changes to gender politics and its discourse. These days I would probably be considered fairly conservative by the standards of this podcast. I listen because I want to be someone who listens and I do really want to be considered an ally in the fight for all things fair, friendly and equal...But. I find that this podcast (and discourse like it in general) have sometimes become echo chambers filled with malcontent for any opposition to these views. For example I couldn't help but cringe when the whole couch rolled their eyes and scoffed at the idea of a preliminary mental examination being performed on someone looking to go under the knife and have permanent body altering surgery. I mean is it not reasonable for trained doctors (or even the company paying for it) to feel like it's necessary to make damn sure that a permanent body altering SURGERY (that thing usually reserved for life threatening ailments) is worth a professional opinion? (especially considering it turned out to be a great experience). Again I want to understand and I want to be as much an ally as I can but it's stuff like this that feels less and less like a conversation. When I hear the contempt in Ally's voice when she talks about the waitress misgendering her I can't help but see myself as the waitress, just a random person trying to be (traditionally) respectful to a stranger after an exhausting 6 hour shift who is suddenly the inconsiderate bully for having failed to adapt quickly enough to a brand new and still evolving set of social rules. I don't want to downplay Ally's frustration but the coin has two sides.
I know this podcast wasn't made for me being an only mildly bi-sexual mostly cis-male guy but sometimes even when trying to take the time to open my ears and my mind to the challenges all of you are going through I can't help but feel like 'the enemy' when the response to an argument like "we need to tackle one cultural shift at a time" is met with "I'm going to scream" instead of a rational argument as someone who has tried and struggled to change how I see and interact with people on a day to day basis, one step at a time.
Sorry for the long rant, still think it's a fun and interesting podcast to come and listen to and I remain a fan of those involved.
Jonathan Lautre with the groaning about going to the doctor for top surgery, I thought they were more over responding to the negativity of regularly having to deal with transphobic doctors
quick reminder, ally does go by they/them pronouns
as far as i know, most cosmetic surgeries don't require mental exams. if ally had been trying to get breast implants, would they have been given the same treatment that they were given for pursuing top surgery? implants are a body altering surgery too, but i don't really see people doubting the mental fortitude of the people who decide to get those. a medical opinion on the safety of having this procedure done is one thing, but forcing someone to "prove" that they're nonbinary and not just doing this for "attention" is something completely different.
the whole "we need to tackle one cultural shift at a time" thing is really painful to have to deal with as well. i am not non-binary but i assume it feels like someone is telling you to put your humanity on hold for "the greater good". like "you're not allowed to want people to respect your identity UNTIL we get them on board with this other thing". i can't imagine how hurtful it would feel to be told that your identity is "getting in the way" of progress.
When a woman goes in for a book job, does she have to get a mental assement? No. When a guy goes in for liposuction, do they have to get a mental assessment? No. The problem is that to be who you are need a mental assement, but Cis people, to feel "better about yourself" you can simply get it done.
Well, this was a disappointment
warteyeguy That sucks to hear