Telling teenagers that their feelings are “just hormones”. Maybe they are caused by hormones, but that doesn’t change the fact that the feelings exist and it sure as hell doesn’t make them feel any better
Yeah, OMFG. According to my parents I was in "puberty" from 9 to my 18th birthday. Before that I was in the "terrible twos". As soon as I turned 18 I was a responsible adult. Sure. Of course.
Hate when parent say “you are not an adult, stop acting like one” then when it comes onto their side “your at that age where you are becoming an adult”
Ageism is one of the worst traits a person can carry. No one deserves to be scolded for acting "like an adult." It's part of growing up, and everyone deserves to be treated with respect. -Something from a new subscriber of Noah Lani. Good luck!😉
I received that plenty of times as a child especially the one with "you're not the parent" I was always taking care of my younger siblings because no one was home. So I'd get frustrated because they never acted like a parent but always loved being in power. It really fucks you up as an adult.
I'm 23 and my step dad still does that "you're a baby compared to me" shit. Like, no. That's not how human biology works. Even though I'm not in my 60s yet, that doesn't mean I'm not a goddamn adult.
Especially when you’re copying your parents and they mock you for it. When I was a kid my parents had an awful financial situation. We’d eventually been kicked out of a shabby basement suite because they couldn’t afford the rent anymore (time was roughly mid 2000s when prices of things really started skyrocketing) so my Nanie (dads mom) let us move into her house as long as my parents did their share of housework, chores, and maintenance. My parents would always thank her for making food, and me being old enough to understand why we were living with her, I decided to be polite and thank her too. They all stopped and looked at me weirdly, then laughed at me for “being silly” and “pretending to be grown up”. I would also try and use bigger words (that I did actually understand), stack dishes by the sink, clean, and even try and give my two cents on family stuff (I was one of those “gifted children” so most stuff “too advanced” for children actually came pretty easy). They’d laugh at me being “too competent” so they tried to slow me down, but guess where that landed me? Failing grades, major complete inability to make decisions, and absolutely no f***ing idea how to start a washing machine. (Edit: spelling mistake)
"My child is perfect! There is nothing wrong with her!" Word for word what a mother said to us when we went to her with our concerns over her child's obvious autism. No, ma'am, autism doesn't mean there's something wrong with her. It just means we need to figure out how to adjust things so we can teach & work with her. An actual diagnosis would make it easier.
@@dazaiosamunyaa1869 I hate it when schools do this. Ask student for solutions to problem. Student give reasonable answer. School takes main idea and rewords it to sound new. Claim it's there own Idea so it makes the school staff look smart and good at problem solving when instead it just teaches the students to be plajurists
Apex X I was never in such a situation since my school does make decisions without the help of students (sometimes they consult parents) and I think they would give credit to a student who had an idea for improving the school or solving a problem. I was referring to my desk mate, hopefully got rid of her today (she snapped at me because I’m better at physics than she is 😂😂and she’s an arrogant a**hole and I was just too well-educated to be rude until today when I snapped. I am not a patient person, I did my best and put up with her for 6 months), overall,my peers, even my family and ESPECIALLY, to my mother’s “friends”. Then everyone wonders why I keep to myself and oops, I can get out of difficult situations with way more efficiency than anyone around 😇😇😇😁
Sounds like my "foreman" EVERY SINGLE DAY. Gonna just start recording the fuck and get him fired for the million things he shouldn't have done and now I'm stick on his crew because I'm the only one who works. Being nice doesn't get you anywhere with parasites.
Scream it out louder for the people in the back👏. I know too many people that should never have had kids, there's one chick who has four and she gave up shared custody of her two sons to their biological dad in order to move away to another state with her new husband and her two daughters she had with him. When their relationship fell through she ended up not being able to move out of state, I wonder what her sons will think of her as they get older knowing their own mother gave them up just so she could move away for some dick. Honestly their fathers side of the family are better and more careing people than the moms, I've known her side of the family since I was little and they are very toxic and the younger sister that was around my age is a narcissistic master manipulator and got whatever she wanted and even has a kid now.
Very true. My grandparents were made my legal guardians because my father abused and terrorised my mother so badly even after their awful, messy divorce (in which he lefts all his debts in her name and even tried to convince her to sell one of her triplets (her triplets being me, my brother and sister) to his girlfriend because she was barren) that it drove her to a nervous breakdown and actually unable to cope. I didn't know my father well, so I resented my mother for leaving us for a long time, but we did eventually bury the hatchet when she started showing up again and keeping her promises, once I understood more and more of what was going on. As for my father, all I want to know of him is where he's living -- it's always easiest to deal with a spider when you know where it's hidden, if just to avoid it.
Fr, when I get even the slightest upset at my dad for doing something, ,,(his fault) he'll get mad back at me, no sorrys or anything just anger right back at me, and it pisses me off to no avail, so everytime that happens it feels as if our relationship is being torn away at the seams.
"They still love you, they just don't show it." Oh yes, of course the sister who called me a demon, imp, spoiled brat, bitch, etc without apologizing once, as well as threatening to beat me up when I was 4 (she was around 14 and in martial arts), and various other things that absolutely traumatized me shows that she, indeed, *loves* me.
Because I said so was used on me by my parents. It meant they were done arguing with me and I had to obey. It gave no room for why after why. Used right, it can be beneficial to the child. Used wrong, good luck in even being in your child’s life.
My grandma would do something like this I'd ask for a reason she would say because eventually I used because as a reason and she got mad, I told her if she can use it as a reason why can't I?
I was always a quiet kid. My twin sister was the only who talked. She would even talk _for_ me. I had started opening up at around 8. My depression ‘phase’ and crippling self worth of always being wrong and hated by everyone only made it worse. I didn’t talk at all unless I had to answer a question/had to say something. If I did talk, it was normally in a calm, quiet voice. I came off as cold for being so calm, and as you would’ve guessed, this only made it worse. I did get better for a good amount of time. (maybe a month) Because of my lack of a change and too many *sudden* changes, I just got ‘bad’ again. TLDR: Quiet as a youngster just because, quiet as a younger me because of my depression, and quiet now because of lack of change.
Owen Boyd holy crap... this is my mom also... being overly nice in public but seemed like she hated me in private. Yelling at me instead of having a normal conversation and getting mad when I started crying... so much abuse. I’m sorry your mom is this way
Some total BS that happened a few years ago was that my mom got pissed off that I couldn't find a baby bottle in the car. My sister said she'd check for me, I waited for her to find it while I search elsewhere. She got even more pissed off and that's when my sister said she didn't bother, great she lied. My mom tried taking my ds while I was explaining. When the fight got worse and I tried running away my mom just picked me up to start bitching at me. Awhile after that my dad started a fight about where to put some damn laundry, I tried explaining how I processed it, the whole thing he dragged to nearly giving me a seizure from any possible stress. AT THE SAME TIME I TRIED DEFENDING MY SISTER WHO HE WAS CALLING A JACKASS AND SHE JUST TOLD ME TO SHUT UP! I was trading pokemon online during then I had to turn it off because my head was spinning. I just need to get a job and one of my friends said I could move out and live with her but just need to get a job, I can trust her more than any of the assholes for parents, whereas they sold my 3ds and Wii afterwards and trying to make me the enemy on Facebook, she at least a few months ago for Christmas got me a 3ds. I hate them and I want to just move out and cut off contact with them.
They later on wonder why I'm always on my phone or ds, in my room ignoring them, maybe because MY DAD HAD TO WALK AROUND SAYING HOW HE HATES HAVING KIDS. When I move out eventually the idea to take a shit on something of his just seems too generous for not being able to trust people almost anyone anymore
I always talked too much, and I'm a lot quieter now. All my friends/family assume that I'm in a bad mood just because I know how to focus or give my attention to something else.
My grandmother ( I call her mom for personal reasons ) knows that I'm very sensitive and that I could start crying a little for well little things , my mom thinks that saying " You are so sensitive. Cry when I die " will make me stop being so sensitive And thats why I always hide my face when my nose gets red and put on a fake smile
@@ryujin3588 _I cry over small things to like not being able to get a game a really like because the app store is being a dummy, but it's fine if your upset then your upset nobody is going to be affected by it_
I’m going to add something from my personal experience: Getting mad at a child for thoughts of su1c1de/a su1c1de attempt. When I was in the 5th grade, my parents found out I hade tried to choke myself and did nothing but take away a game or two and threaten to send me to a mental asylum. This led me to feeling like I need to hide things from them, and I was battling su1c1dal thoughts without telling them for the rest of my childhood. In the time I needed support, I got threats and a real problem got blamed on a few video games. Edit: forgot to say that my step-dad was a s3xu@l abuser, but he recently left after I told my mom and we’re doing much better without him. Edit: Don’t worry y’all the step dad is permanently gone know and my mom takes my mental health much more seriously woot woot
If you’re kid is depressed or needs help don’t take away the thing that makes them happy. This mistake is made by a lot of parents and it just makes it worse usually. I hope you’re doing better now and I hate when parents do this. Lots of love from someone who has anxiety and doesn’t tell her parents about it beside the answer she’ll get is “it’s just a phase. You’re being dramatic”. I hope you’re doing better now and when your parents wonder what they did to you, they look back on this. ❤️❤️❤️
" Hmm, my child has tried killing themselves..gotta be those damn video games. " Yeah, sure, because that makes sense. You think your kid would play games if they made your kid want to kill themselves? That's like saying that your kid being stuck in a cage with a lion will make them happy. No, it's the exact opposite, you dumbass, most of your family probably shares one braincell that you pass around to each other if you think that it's like that.
@@actuallyanimatics2938 a kids disrespectful (spoiled) behavior is a result of their development (mostly parenting) I mean it's literally called spoiling because you the parent are screwing up your kid! So yes every kid deserves a parent and all parents don't deserve kids.
@@actuallyanimatics2938 is a kid who is poor and is teach how to give in take by their parents spoiled? the key detail in that was the word, parents showing that kids learn from what their parents teaching. Also that is then answer but that answer needs to be explained if want people to see your point of view
When you are in the middle of an argument, or realize you are wrong as the parent, don’t *guilt trip the kid.* My mother still doesn’t see a problem with saying. “I guess I’m a terrible mother.”
"Don't talk about what *you* want to talk about. Only talk about what *others* want to talk about." I had virtually no friends and grew up introverted thanks to this.
YES. MY DAD SAYS THIS WHEN I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE THINGS I LIKE. HE SAYS THAT HE DOESNT CARE. AND OTHER PEOPLE DONT CARE AND THAT I SHOULD LEARN TO TALK ABOUT THINGS THAT INTEREST OTHER PEOPLE SO I CAN MAKE FRIENDS. HE COMPLAINS ABOUT ME BEING FRIENDS WITH PEOPLE THAT LIKE THE THINGS I LIKE BECAUSE HES LIKE THEY DONT KNOW ABOUT OTHER THINGS OR WHATEVER. AND HE GETS MAD AT ME FOR BEING UNSOCIAL AND BEING ON THE INTERNET OR CALLING PEOPLE EVEN THOUGH WE LIVE IN THE BAHAMAS. HE DOESNT ALLOW ME TO HANG OUT WITH PEOPLE AND THEIR PARENTS DONT ALLOW THEM TO HANG OUT WITH PEOPLE EITHER.
One time my mom and dad told me a pet had died instead of telling me they gave it away. They didn't have the funds to keep it, but they thought lying to me would be better. After an hour of hearing me sob, my mom explained what really happened, and I told her to never lie to me like that again because I would rather have an animal go to a good home than have it be dead.
Opposite happened to me. Our dog bit me and my mom had it put down (not single parent, dad was deployed). She told me she gave it to a friend. Once I was over it I didn’t think about it for 25 years. Talking to my mom about it a few weeks ago and I ask if she knew how long the dog lived after she gave it away. She lowers her glasses and gives me a “Really?” look (one I realized I use all the time at work). It all came together and I just say, “Oh. Oooooooh! Damn, I’m dumb!”.
It helped me... sorta.. My parents used to be okay with 50 - 75 but got annoyed with anything under 70. I worked hard to please them and I'm an average at 90%. Now my parents get mad if I have an 80. :/
I was a 75 average and every time I got a test back I would start crying because I had to take it home and get my mom to sign it and I would get the lecture of "you know this so why aren't you doing better and I should be better than how she was when she was in school" resulting in more crying. It got so bad the teacher started sending me to the Guidance counsellor's office when the "tell your mother you have a B" wasn't working. Fast forward a year later and I completely bombed a test, I got a 49, I took it home expecting my mom to give me a lecture and instead she just looked at me with the "I'm disappointed in you" look and walked away. When she did that I was so relieved that I think I smiled just because I didn't get the "your grades a disappointment, what's wrong with you" lecture.
Yup, it's why I hated doing a lot of things since its always "your brother" I'm like bitch he was never around me when he was "a kid" forget the 15-year fucking gap. Like dammit shut the fuck up
4:21 THIS ONE HITS HARD As like a 7 year old I was learning the piano (damn good at it too) and was considered the gifted one of the family. I felt proud of it, but the second my grandma realized all that I could do she decided to take my pacing into her own hands and enrolled me in like a bajillion different programs and would criticize all of the small mistakes I made and the fact that I didn't want every second of my life to be devoted to progressing. Ended up becoming a perfectionist to the point where I can't finish a single project because it always "needs more work" or "isn't going in the right direction". I have nearly no flexibility as an artist and if a project isn't exactly as I imagined it I find it hard to look past it. And with all the instruments I know, the one time I failed to immediately get the hang of one without help, I blamed myself, even though after like one hour at a guitar class I was doing well. Parents need to stop steering gifted children so hard that they begin to not want to be gifted anymore.
Parents do their best to make sure you are setup for an easy adult life. Idk how old you are but when you reach a certain age you will appreciate the fact they even cared to try and help in the first place. Also your hangups as an adult now as a perfectionist are your issues, not theirs. As a mature adult its on you to be mindful of your bad habits and fix them, not blame your parents who just wanted the best for you. Its not unique to you. Parenting is hard and you sacrifice a LOT for kids. Its on YOU to fix your shit and its on YOU for your current behavior as an adult, not your parents.
@@thepunisherxxx6804 "Wanting the best" for me? She physically and mentally abused me as well as my siblings. She was overbearing, NOT mentoring. It IS on me to *fix* the problems she caused, but she was indeed the one that caused them. No child should be held to the standard of a virtuoso, especially to the low level of tolerance she had. Your take is literally the most dumpster fire take I have ever heard. She was not a teacher, she was not a parent, she was an abuser and the main root of many issues for me and my sisters. Still to this day, she is and was physically violent, even as we are grown. The only thing SHE fucking sacrificed was the time it took to smack around a 7 year old when he made an error on the piano. That's not parenting. And if you think it is, do reflect, and maybe prevent yourself from reproducing. I will never appreciate her, but instead I will appreciate my ACTUAL parents, my mother and father. THOSE were my parents. THEY cared. Not my grandmother. Judging by your perspective, I highly doubt you have ever struggled with mental illness in the wake of abuse, so let me stress it further: I never said it was on her to fix it, but she caused it. And you do not do that to a 7 year old child. You should not hit a 7 year old, especially one that isn't yours, and over something as trivial as piano practice. If your 7 year old is genuinely suicidal, something has LIKELY gone severely wrong. Like seriously, if this take were an entree at a restaurant, it would be considered a biohazard.
I knowww I'm 15 and not allowed to call my 12 year old brother an idiot. I keep telling my dad that I'm literally gonna start working soon and that its retarded that I can't say that, but I still cant say tons of things that middle schoolers would be able to say. :/ Edit: I forgot to say this, but me and my brother call each other names jokingly, and we both just laugh it off afterwards.
@@SparkzOnYT but... that isn't self advocating or speaking legitimate facts... that's just being rude... like I get it, I'm 15 too, and I also call my little sister names , but like I do it endearingly (she understands it's all in jest and let's me know if I overstep her boundaries, and when that happens I stop) but I dont think there is anything inherently wrong with your perants instilling basic manners into you... its annoying sure, especially when it doesn't feel like a big deal but that doesn't change the fact that its rude to call your brother an idiot :/
My dad said this to me the other day because i ask him to not touch me (shoulder, butt, waist, ect) and he then he backed me into a corner and said that to me. It was honestly scary and I felt very threatened, luckily, when he later said “okay?” I stood up for myself and said “no, not okay.” It didn’t work of course, so I just have to strategically choose when to go to the kitchen when he wouldn’t be able to stand up in time for me to slip away. But I’ll be planning on moving out ASAP.
This is why, not everyone should be parents. Edit 1: After reading comment after comment, I just want to say, for all of you people that had tragic childhood lives due to neglectful parents, I am so sorry, I somewhat know how it feels, and I just want to say, do what makes you happy in life, try to be the best you that you can be, and even if you can't do that, at least you tried. Good luck to you all. From one internet stranger to many others. See yah later. Edit 2: I didn't think I would do this but, thanks for the likes. You made my day, and I hope someone can make your day to. Bye.
This was surprisingly relatable, my mom would always tell me to “grow thicker skin” or that I’m “too sensitive” or “dramatic” because I would cry when she would yell at me it’s literally been years and she’s still like this (I’m 15 now, it started when I was 6) and I tell myself she’s better now but the only reason she says stuff like that to me less now is that I’ve learned to bottle up my emotions and cry in private, I’ve also learned how to cry really quietly. Whenever I bring this up (sometimes she notices that I hide my face and/or look away when I cry) she says “I never did that!” Or “I don’t abuse you or anything stop acting like a beaten puppy!” I refuse to cry infront of anyone now, she made me feel like a coward (not to mention she vents to me about her boyfriend and her job and how stressed out she is in general)
“Urgh it’s just a bug, why are you so scared” says the one who told me it’ll crawl in my ears and lay eggs in there when I’m sleeping, thanks a lot, your reassurance helps doesn’t it.
My dad yells at my brother when he wont kill a spider (everyone but my dad has bad arachnophobia) But when my dad sees a cockaroach all girlish screams break lose XD
OMG YES my dad did this to me my whole life and now I have panic attacks when I get stung by anything and I run when I see bees or centipedes. (I lived in Texas so I’ve been stung by a lot of sh!t) thought i was the only one.
One of my friends mother would constantly tell her not to eat in between meals. While her brother only ate between meals. She is incredibly thin like dangerously thin and didn’t eat normal food until she was bullied for it in kindergarten
My family used to call me skinny, used to make fun of me when I did anything physical, all because of how "skinny" I was. So I started eating more and now I'm getting called "fatty" and I'm "getting bigger" or should "slow down". Now I'm eating less, AGAIN, and they still call me names, like I can't win with these people.
Child: * describes textbook incident of bullying * Mom: * handwaves it away * "Oh, they just like you." No, mom, that's not how "liking" someone _works,_ mom, the people who love you should not be allowed to hurt you just because they _supposedly_ love you, _mom._ I'd never experienced it, and even _I_ knew that. I knew that _at ten years old,_ mom, why didn't *_you_* know that until I yelled it at you last week!?
What my parents think they’re teaching me: Behaving Being honest Listen What they’re actually teaching me: How to listen for footsteps How to lie on the spot How to act like you’re listening
100%agreed. I am now so skilled at detecting footsteps I can identify which family member it is, what they want ( they usually have a specific purpose for coming up, otherwise most stay down) and whether I’m in trouble. For eg. if my mom is coming but her steps sound soft, then she is trying to sneak in and see what I’m doing. Once I was chatting with a girl on snap ( I’m not allowed to do either) and next thing I know she just bursts in thru the door like terminator. I quickly closed the app and was about to delete it but mom snatched the phone from me. When I resisted, she actually fucking bit me.
Damn this is exactly how my mom treats me. like, when she saw me doing/saying something childish, she would be kinda mad and tells me in a calm way to not do/say that at home nor in public and then a few hours later, she would run towards me and hugs me and say stuff like "AWW WHOS MOMMY'S FAVORITE CHILD?? ITS MY BABY ANGEL!!" (Don't worry, I still love my mom a lot, I just think her way was wrong)
Hearing all of these stories im actually really thankful for my parents and that they haven’t used/said/done the majority of these things. However, for all of you who grew up with a lot of these "tricks", i hope you are feeling better now. And remember, nothing was your fault, you were only a kid and you deserved/still deserves good parents.
Thanks alot my parents allways never wanted anything to do with me pretty much before i was a teen they used more than one of the trick metioned in the other comments and video i made a comment already with an example. This is very nice for you to say and i hope that you keep making people smile as you did for me.
When the child and parents are having a serious talk and the child starts to cry, they say "stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about." To this day I have a major fear of crying in front of anyone, adults especially.
In a nutshell: Being a parent is not a licence to be a psychopath, sociopath, tyrant or a narcissist to your children. It's just morally revolting that people seriously defend these parenting practices and act as if there are no consequences for basically treating your kid(s) like puppets who aren't supposed to know better. Edit: One time on Twitter, UberFacts posted a tweet stating that raising your voice at children causes long term damage to their emotional health. Only a small fraction of the replies agreed with it, the rest hated the tweet, accusing UberFacts of pandering to coddling/overprotective parenting. So according to those people, showing the slightest ounce of empathy to your kids will turn them into oversensitive snowflakes when they grow up. Certainly not a false dilemma fallacy.
Yeah, just like in the 70's when beating your kids was perfectly normal and disguised as "discipline." That is no way to treat a child. They may be saying it is for teaching a lesson, but it's in fact an unhealthy and HORRIBLE way for the parent to relieve their own stress.
I even saw someone somewhere saying that you should “lovingly spank your children” and that “they should love being spanked” who the HELL says that what CHILD likes being spanked that’s one of the most idiot things I’ve ever heard 🙄😐😬
I don't know who else's parents did this but.. Taking things that you love and those certain things make you calmer. *Because this is totally how you calm down someone that is already crying*
Agreed didnt really hell the panick attack i jad been having cause than i was scared as fuck towards fire and the had started a binfire in the backyard of our neigbors house and i had saw it and they came in and ripped my quilt my grand ma had mad me into like 7 peices than yelling quite crying your annoying your sibling. Ya know MOM that never fucking helped?!
When they yell horrible things at you and you start crying, then they say "stop immediately or I'll give you a REAL reason to cry." Because of this, I panic everytime I hear people yelling or talking very loud
Easily snapping into a fit of rage and yelling to your children while they are crying, threatening them, and then apologizing a few minutes later and using "I love you I'm sorry I just get annoyed do you understand?" as you are basically the one trying to be consoled by the child you were just yelling at.
@@yohando6043 mine too, but it probably was the better for me, because i got better grades in the long run then when it was not so important, my grades started to do average.
"Stop acting like a child, your growing up so act like it." *literally FIVE seconds later* "So can I get a job?" "You're only a kid! Why do you try to grow up so fast???" Edit: Grammar
They’ll say I’m so irresponsible because I’m so young but then five seconds later rely on me to do everything around the house. Btw I have two older brothers and a little sister, but they only rely on me. No one else has ever lifted a finger. Their excuse? “You’re the most responsible, take it as a compliment”.
Omfg I'm 13 and for years I've been wanting to work. I just felt like I've matured faster than the people around me and I needed to make money to help stay afloat. My mother yells at me for not helping financially or saving money, but if I ask for help to make money off my art for now, she shuts me down immediately. I'm aware that I'm legally too young to work, even if I want to. That's why I wanted to make money off commissions. My parents hate that idea, that I'm an artist.
Controlling kids through fear My dad was very prideful of this way and would show this parenting like a trophy. “If my kids aren’t afraid of me than I’m doing something wrong.” My mom is the opposite. I’m always so surprised when she apologizes to me and admits a mistake she made. I have so much respect for my mom and as I’ve gotten away from my dad I lost the fear. I might contact him in a few years. After an argument he said he won’t talk to me till I’m in my late 20s because I’ll be mature enough and understand by then. I’m am so lucky that I have my mom and we have a mutual respect for each other. My dad does not see me as a person so if anyone has kids respect them and they will respect you in return.
My dad is like this too. Sometimes when he's mad he will raise his hand like he's going to hit us, and I instinctively flinch. I don't specifically remember ACTUALLY being hit before, but if you're gesturing in an aggressive manner and your kids flinch then just MAYBE you should realize that they feel genuinely threatened. He also yells at the smallest thing because he thinks it's the only way we'll listen to him and says that we're disrespectful/talk over us if we try to defend ourselves, which backfires on him because constantly screaming at your kids makes them less inclined to do whatever you're telling them to do. We're afraid when my mom gets mad solely because of the fact that she hardly ever gets angry, but it's the "Oh shit I'm actually in trouble" kind of scared and not genuine fear of punishment.
Omfg I hate it I once politely asked my mom to put her dirty dishes in the dishwasher because thats what she suggested and the dishwasher is empty AND THEN SHE YELLS AT ME FOR "SCOLDING HER"
“You’re 15! It’s time you stopped acting like a child and learned to act your age” Two weeks later “You’re only 15! It’s time you stopped acting like and adult and learned to act your age”
Parents always switch between acting like you're a child or an adult based off when it helps their argument. The problem w/ being a teen is that adults give you the responsibilities of an adult without any of the freedom. I'm 15, and I have to clean, take out the trash, do my laundry, make my own food (except for dinner usually), but do I get a car? My own place? Rights? No, of course not, bc I'm still just a kid.
@@brennantaylor301 Well what do u expect that they're just gonna give u a car and place to live?Do u have any idea how much *ONE* of those costs,let alone *BOTH* of them!?
My mom: "Why are you always in your room? Stop being so lazy, do something!" My mom every time she gets mad at me: "Go to your room and stay there until dinner. And after dinner, I want you back in your room!"
4:13 I can relate to this somewhat. When I was going through some bad emotional and mental stuff in my late teens, my parents would tell me I was too young to feel that way or that I had nothing to worry about. Things got better when I got a bit older, but still, it didn't feel good to wait until I became an adult to finally have those feelings validated.
Your feelings are valid and you are not worthless. They don't know how to parent, and that is not your fault. Have a good day/night and I hope you find a way to let out the feelings without them being invalidated.
I used to cry a lot as a kid and whenever I cried my parents would say "You are just being dramatic stop crying" or "Your friends won't like you if you cry all the time"and then they ask me to open up to them about how I feel
Not letting your kids live life and make mistakes before they move out. Every kid I've ever known that had over protective parents ended up going wild the second they got a taste of freedom, and most try to put lots of space between them and their parents.
I think that mighta happened to my ex, which btw her parents forced me and her to break up. And I honestly think she wouldn't be partying and having sex with people she said she wasn't even interested in n stuff, if me and her were together, as we made each other hopefully and only ever did bad things because her mother was trashing me and not letting her see me, since she didn't set my ex up with me and wanted her with someone else.
Also, if a child is crying, do not do the following: -yell at them -sarcastically ask “did someone die?” -tell them “it’s no big deal” -get mad or upset at them What you *should* do if a child is crying: -tell them “it’s okay” or that they’re fine, and possibly why - *comfort them* Crying is healthy.
Damn i wish my mom knew this. Everytime i cried she'll always say "there's no point of crying" or "don't be silly" those words has made a habit of me trying to act cool and apathetic even if deep inside im in emotional pain.
My dads favorite: “ILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT” This terrified me bc he used smacking as a punishment, but I was a *dumb* kid and didn’t understand that it was *only* a punishment. I assumed he really meant he was gonna hit me if I cried. I also never walked w my back to him, I always avoided being near him bc I assumed that’s all it took. He also got mad over the stupidest things lol, so I assumed pretty much existing was enough to earn a wackin’
17:30 I completely agree. I remember being shamed as a toddler for not finishing my plate and then getting shamed for eating "too much" when I did finish and go back for seconds. Unless your kid's health is in danger, please just let them eat whatever amount they feel comfortable eating.
Teenager: *has legitimate angers and fears, and voices them* Parents: It’S jUsT hOrMoNeS! Okay DEBORAH, how bout I drop kick you off a building, and then tell you “Oh, it’s just gravity.” Edit: Okay, y'all had some seriously messed up childhoods. I'm really sorry
“They still love you." Oh yes, because my sister who suffocated me when our mother was in the shower, my sister who always yelled that she hated me, the one that blamed me for everything (id like to mention that she was in her teens, seventeen, eighteen, maybe even nineteen while I was five at most), my sister who said she wished I died in the snow, the one who left & ran away & reached out ONCE to say she left because of me. (Its been five years since we've spoken to her). Yes, because *she* loves me.
shit i will admit, im the bad one the older shitty sister my reasoning shall not be an excuse but heres why my mom treats me like absolute dog she but mentally she would discourage me when she gives my sister the best of the best forces me to do what she wants all the time and never listens to me my sister also has my moms face so just by looking at her makes me feel rage today im trying to fix my mistakes and comfort her least i can do for being a bully im sry your sisters are shit, hope things get better love
I have ADHD and my parents have not done any of these. they are very carefull with makeing sure that i grow up happy. I play paino, uk, drums, and i have a dog.
My mom said "we'll see" a hell of a lot when I asked for stuff as a kid, but it didn't happen nearly as much with my little sister. Mom would also give in almost every time my sister threw a tantrum, it took until high school for that damage to finally be undone.
Telling your kids “don’t keep secrets from me” or “don’t lie” when the kid isn’t lying, it gives them a complex where they can’t even tell if their lying or not
And I don't trust you enough to give you my secrets. You haven't done ANYTHING to earn it. I try to let my family know as little as possible. I try my best to not even let her know my friends existence.
Honestly that first phrase scares me because it sounds like the parents are trying to pry into their kids’ privacy. The kids can talk to their parents about whatever they want, _whenever_ they want. It’s all about boundaries.
Sometimes I didn't remember what I did in class in elementary school at a social level, like with the other kids or sometimes some detail of the lesson. Thinking about it now, I think my brai just erased some parts of the school day because I really hated my classmates, as they seemed to hate me, and the teachers were trash. So, my parents ask me a question, I don't remember and I say it clearly to them. They say that I'm creating an excuse for something and I really remember but don't want to say it. Probably it's for that I never say things to my parents because I'm afraid that they say it's stupid and don't believe me.
My mother does this and completely dismisses my feelings, just yesterday I was playing on the sims 3 and I had at least four hours of work (I’m doing a warrior cats challenge so I was building a camp) and along comes my mother who had tried to talk to me but I had headphones on and she could clearly see that so she gets pissed anyway and instead of tapping me on the shoulder she completely shuts down the computer I was using and made me lose HOURS of hard work so obviously I was extremely upset so when I told her just what she did and explained that it was the equivalent of me ripping her work stuff to shreds and she turns and says to me “well yours isn’t nearly as important because yours doesn’t pay the bills” yes maybe it might not be as important as your job but it was still extremely important to me and you dismissing me and saying it’s not important, really REALLY hurts me 😔
When I tried telling my mother I thought I had depression, she passed it off as “just hormones” (this was when I was around 13). It took me seven months to finally tell someone how I was feeling, and even longer to get a therapist and psychiatrist. It’s been a little over two years since then, and I still resent her for it. I don’t want to open up to her again in fear that she’ll tell me I’m being “too emotional” or something like that.
@@TheMushroomMan1229 I feel you. I told my mom while I was in high school that I thought I needed help and medication for my anxiety and she told me that anxiety wasn't real. Took me 6 more years to gather the courage and go to a doctor about it, and now I'm on incredibly high anxiety meds and still having stress nightmares. She now questions why I'm not open with her with my mental health and keep it all to myself (because looking back, I've had obvious signs of anxiety for well over 15 years but she just scolded me for being "shy").
@@daisymay6505 Oh that sucks:( It matters, the things you are putting effort into matters. It's not less important. Your mom should have taken responsbility instead of blaming you:( (I don't want you to get mad and hold grudges but it was not ok and it was not your fault.) I hope you get your progress again if you choose to continue the challenge♥
The not keeping promises thing hit me like a truck. I distinctly remember this one instance from when I was twelve. Our unit test in math was coming up, and my grandma promised me that if I got an A on it, she would buy me any video game I wanted. I always struggled with math, but I was super determined to get that game so I busted my butt trying to study for it. I ended up getting the A, and I was really happy because I didn't think I would pull it off, but I was even happier because I knew I would get the game. That saturday comes around, and my Mom, grandma, and I are out at Target and my grandma tells me to go grab a game. So I take a look at the shelves and I see that Deadpool, which had only come out a few months prior back in june, was on sale for 40 dollars. I had wanted that game since I saw the trailer for it, and I knew that I would save my grandma about 20 bucks. It was a total win-win. So I grab it and put it in the cart, we went to the checkout and the total came up to 70 dollars. My grandmother was taken aback and said "SEVENTY DOLLARS???" Before whipping around to look at me and saying "Do I look like I'm mad out of money to you?? Go and get a cheaper one." I said "but Mamou, you said I could get any game I wanted, and this one is twenty dollars cheaper than usual". And she scowled at me and said "Well, I'm not spending that much on a glorified toy, put it back. You should've told me how much they were." I straight up busted out crying and ran off into the store. When my mom found me and basically dragged me back to the car, the both of them berated me and told me that "if that's how you're going to act when you don't get what you want, you're not getting anything!" As if me not getting what I wanted was the reason I was so upset. In actuality, I was hurt because my grandmother and mother, through their actions, had basically told me this. "We'll only keep the promises we make to you if it is convenient for us to do so, and if you get upset because of it, then you're selfish and spoiled." They also completely ignored all the work I had put in to getting that A. The real kicker is that I came to find almost a decade later that the reason my grandmother had said no is because she and my grandfather had recently had to get the water heater replaced, so they were a bit short on funds. And I was honestly so pissed, because had my grandma just said "I'm so sorry, kiddo, I should've asked you how much games usually are before promising you I'd buy you one. I can't do it right now because we have a bill to pay, but I promise you that as soon as I'm able, I will buy you one." I would've understood and accepted it. But no, I was a child, and adults didn't owe me explanations. And then they tell me that I'm so humble and polite for not asking them for things, and it's like, I can't trust that you'll actually do it so why fucking bother?
I hear you. My mom didnt know how how to discipline as a parent so she'd make false promises all the time. The worst part is that she had selective memory so she'd immediately forget. When i brought it up, she'd always accuse me of being greedy, whiney, and sometimes a liar. In the same vein, she'll make a promise that if i do good in school, she'll reward me and never followed through or she'll try to talk me into something REALLY cheap just to statisfy me. Whenever i complained, it always turned into a discussion that i was being ungrateful and whatnot. My grades plummeted and whatnot and STILL got yelled at for it. What's the point in trying if I dont see the point in it? Can never trust the woman to do anything unless it directly benefited her.
My family: "You always stay in your room. You should hang out with us, we're your family, you have to be close to us because we're all we got." Me: *Gets out of my room to hang out with family* My family: *Insults and belittles me for everything* Me: *Goes back to my room to avoid shit.*
This annoys me so much. They always say I spend to much time in my room but then basically tell me my feelings and stresses are nothing despite the fact that in September I have the second biggest exams of my post primary education with reduced preparation due to COVID and no one knowing what’s going to happen
Aaaaaand that’s why 90 percent of my life is spent in my room and my bed is set up as a fortress... As a young adult... Cause even staying in my room that door has no lock and the door can be slammed open at any moment... If anyone ever has kids, make sure they at the very least can feel safe in their room. Without a safe space to hide, it’s an eternal overload of anxiety and fear. Every single sound makes you jump, heck you can’t even sleep in your own bed. Because if your room is vulnerable, your bed is vulnerable. And if your bed where you’re sleeping is vulnerable, YOU are vulnerable.
My family does the same thing to me and so do my friends and my friends parents. Now i am depressed and feel like a failure bc i messed up on thing :')
I live with my mother since my parents broke up. Don’t have a good relationship with either. But even though she is one person, once I get out of my room like she told me to, she’ll either start yelling at whoever called her on the phone (because, of course she brings work situations at home), not oay attention to me, or argue about anything and infuriate me in seconds
Even if it didn't quite fit, I think it needs to be said and heard. There are plenty of ducking idiots out there that can't put 2 n 2 together even if it is as obvious as the topic of your comment.
Or giving pets to 2 year olds and expecting them to care fir it on their own. No offense but children’s pet are the mainly the parent’s responsibility. If they’re die or suffer it’s the parents’s fault
@@yucol5661 exactly, and giving animals to children is a horrible idea in general. toddlers younger than 5 usually haven‘t learnt empathy yet and will torment the poor animal without a second thought. it only makes sense to me if the parents own a large animal, like some farm animals or big dogs, and gently guide the children and supervise whenever a child is near the animal.
what you are saying is pointless, in my opinion being a parent is like being a driver, you cant be expected to drive a car without training or be a good parent without some guidance. And most people are not decent or nice.
If you adopt a kid. Don't hold it against them. Just because you took them in does not mean you get to expect them to love and cherish you like a god while you treat them like shit. My dad always asked me if I loved, still loved, or would always love him, even if he wasn't my blood. It took a long time for me to realize I spent years telling him I loved him and he never meant it or made any means to say it back with intent. I realized that assuring him that I loved him felt more like a chore I had to do to make him happy. It took 16 years for me to walk away from him. I lost my dad, my sister, and my distant brother after I got kicked out. (Basically in short. My dad mentally and physically abused my family. He molested my sibling, brainwashed/traumatized my sister, and made my mom feel trapped in the relationship for almost a dozen years. I walked away after months of me asking him to change his issues, and his responses were to beat his fist on the table and scream in my face and call me horrid.) He kicked me out because I screamed back, (that punching a table 6 inches from a child while screaming at them is still as scary as physically hurting them.) He thought it "didn't count as abuse" if he wasn't actually touching me. We had a physical brawl in the hall, and I fled to the nearest gas station till my mom could pick me up.
Teach your children about emotions and learn that a tantrum isn't necessarily just a tantrum. For as long as I can remember, I've gotten incredibly frustrated when I couldn't do something and I would always be met with teasing or my family avoiding me to "let me calm down". It's left me with a crippling fear of failure and perfectionism. It also taught me that I shouldn't be sharing my emotions and it's shameful to bring them up. 3 years into therapy and I've only just begun to put a dent in the damage done.
Omg, the similar thing happened to me. Whenever I talk to mom about something and I would say the opposite response she would always say "Oh you are just saying the opposite of me" And when I say no I'm not she always say "See you're doing it" This made me feel like I have to agree on everyone's opinion and I was bullied because I was so annoying by agreeing on everything. This stop once I had friends and started to have my own opinions on things and developed a habit of cursing more than necessary. It's unbelievably frustrating she still doing this too, even though I'm an adult and am not allowed to have different views from her. And when I go to my room she would yell "Lord give me patience" Like having different opinions than her it's making her temper rise.
“Hands and feet tied on a child size wicker chair and I was gagged then placed in an empty bedroom while my folks pretend to leave the apartment” that sounds like torture
That if someone is bullying a kid of the opposite gender, they automatically have a crush on them. People do this bullshit and then wonder why kids can’t pinpoint an abusive relationship. Edit: I’m gonna elaborate better. A bullied kid goes up to an adult and is like “someone’s bullying me” and the adult says “if they’re bullying you they probably just have a crush on you” The kid is still getting bullied, and now has the false idea that the bully likes them which would completely ruin their relationships in the long run as the kid would think that abuse they’re getting is love
Also “boys will be boys” or “girls are just that way”. No. Just so much so. I remember being in therapy as a kid and this boy kept stamping on my feet and I tried to tell my parents and they said “oh he’s just being a boy, he probably likes you” as I’m on the verge of treats. It made me feel helpless and unprotected and made me not go to them with problems for many years.
Seriously, HOW DID THAT CONCLUSION EVEN COME TO EXIST?!?! I mean the first time that concept even happened it might be true but how would it have spread as “common knowledge” to everyone?
Exactly! I got my shirt ripped and hair pulled, told my mom about it and she said some bullshit like boys will be boys and that it's tough love. What really hurt is that my father is abusive so she probably just got used to that idea of love
In my native language (Finnish) there's a common saying that roughly translates into "The horse kicks out of love, too", and it's said in a teasing tone when a child complains that someone of the opposite gender is bullying them. I had adults say this to me many times when I was a kid, about a boy who bullied me for YEARS. And I mean like, what??? I'm not an expert on horses, but I'm pretty sure they don't kick those they love. It's just a bs excuse that's used because people are too lazy to do anything about bullying.
I can relate to the "feelings aren't valid" and the "treating crying as if its something weak people do." I remember getting yelled at every time I cried, then I grew to be indifferent during my teens with my dad wondering why I was robotic around him.
I always knew thing my age did not when i was between 7-13 And it pissed me off. They were telling their kid to feed the cat milk. When i said "Sorry but milk is actually poison to cats and can result death" The yelled at me "Im OlDeR ThAn YoU sTuPiD kId!" The cat ended up in the vet's clinic and we lost the cat. Their response was "Hes Too young to know!" Dude, Oyu teached him that.
Bruh, my mom used the lines of Disney villains in order to teach me lessons, I always knew something about that was wrong, because of that, she lost all respect and appreciation from me, I saw her as the villain from then on, even if she might've not been, since I lost all respect for her, the only way she could still have that tight of a grip on me and such control was with fear and guilt, she always talked about how we would leave her all alone and how she wont leave us shit if we leave "too early" which was 21 years old and below, which only made us want to get away faster. Parents that do this are only dooming themselves to die alone, unmourned and unloved
I have my own: stopping a relationship with ur child all because they're being hormonal. That's what my parents did when I was going through puberty. Sure, it was really hard to interact with me because I would be mad about the smallest things. But my parents didnt try to help me or comfort me. They just stopped trying to pursue a relationship with me. And that hurt even worse for me. I might not be a mom yet, but heres my advise to all parents: sometimes, the kid going through puberty wont want u to be there, but when they do calm down, love them, care for them, and make sure they know u love them. Thank u
You have a very good point. My daughter is 13. She flat out said “I love you but hate everyone at the same time.” “That’s ok. I still love you.” *BOOM!* Teen validated _and_ reminded she’s loved. I do have deeper conversations if needed. That’s just what she needed at that moment. I was a chaotic, insane, violent teen. Started out slightly rebellious at 13 and just exploded at 14. “Perfect” child + hormones = wtf just happened. Dad disappeared and bought me things sometimes. Mom just yelled. Didn’t turn out well, and I swore I wasn’t going to continue the cycle... so I didn’t.
Oh yeah. My parents will blast really loud Netflix shows or movies that are packed full of swears, like full blast, and then get all pissy with me when a TH-cam video I'm watching has a few f-words. I'd be more okay with that if they wore headphones, but you can hear their shows and movies all around the house, it's that loud, and they're big blockbuster fans who will watch at least one movie every weekday
I had my dad being overly critical, always getting on my face about any single little thing he felt I did wrong, even something as small as accidentally pushing a glass while eating. And my mom was overprotective and always tried to do things for me just so I wouldn't make mistakes. As you can guess, both did a terrible number on my self-esteem.
Was your mom mean? Like would she criticize you or anything? I totally agree that being overprotective is bad but if your mom didn’t have any bad intentions it’s fair to not hold resentment, in my view anyways. My mom can be like that but she never means any harm, she’s usually trying to help. When I tell her she understands and I can see she really tries to let go a bit.
Oof, the saying “sorry” or “I was wrong” one hit me. My mom and I use to fight a lot because she was controlling and I had depression so I lashed out. She would guilt trip me and then say nothing to me until I apologized to her first. After that, she would cry and say that she’s sorry for making me upset... never for what she did. She still does this but I’ve realized I can’t change what her shitty parents taught her, but I can change my attitude for future kids.
Both my parents are like this especially my dad, super controlling and never apologized for mentally and at one point physically abusive (still mentally) and also he used to egg on my older sis until she struck back then played victim to get her sent to juvie now he's doing the same to me
Oh, god, this is too close to home. Story time: My mom was having a manic episode (She has Manic Bipolar Disorder, Manic Depression and Anxiety) so she was screaming at me, I don't remember why, I think she wanted me to clean the living room. But yeah, she sent me headfirst into one of the worst panic attacks I can remember (I'm Autistic and loud noises, especially screaming or yelling is a huge over stimulating no-no) She got even angrier and threatened to give me a real reason to cry, which of course made me cry _even harder_
On the topic of “letting them win,” I’ve heard some people online saying “let them win, but not every time. If they always win, they’ll never learn, but if they always lose, they’ll never try.” It makes sense.
My little brother gets told to "stop bothering people" or that hes "being annoying". I explained to my dad and his mother how this hurts him and they still do it. Me and my brother can quite literally have a conversation about feeling worthless and as though everything we do upsets someone, no matter how hard we try- all while finishing each others thoughts. He's 8.
Never tell a child “You shouldn’t feel that way.” When they have serious emotions. In my personal experience with this, I told my mom I wanted to kill my brother (homicidal feelings) because of my brother’s bullying. I needed help but didn’t get it. Punish your children equally. For example, my brother pointed a possibly loaded gun at me, pretended to choke me (hands on throat too), constantly scared me because I am jumpy, manipulated me into showing my bare chest when I was 7, whenever I fought back he would yell at me and tell me I was over-reacting, manipulated me to give him 60 US dollars of my own money,called me a faggot three times, dead-names me constantly, called me a whore when I was 7, uses the wrong pronouns, told me to die everyday, hit me multiple times, and made fun of my interests. I have pushed him away after words didn’t work, told him I wished he was never born after he was messing with me, and once I threw a clock at him. I was sent to my room as punishment for all of these. His “punishment” was being watched in the living room so he didn’t tell me to die once. All the other times they gave him a warning or nothing happened. “Well once when you were a year-old you tackled him,” thanks mom. That erases all my trauma and I should now say sorry for something I did over a decade ago. Don’t bring up your childhood when your child points out what is wrong with their childhood even it was bad. The parent is now making themself the center of attention and ignoring the child’s issues. Never blame your child for something like trust issues. Don’t deny your child therapy if you can afford it. If your child says they are suicidal, homicidal or not mentally well let them go to counseling, therapy, or any other mental health service. Do not tell your child to toughen up in any way. Children are still human. Treat them that way.
Wait... so your brother pointed a gun at you, manipulated you to show your bare chest when you were 7, called you a faggot & a whore, AND told you to die every day? What the fuck is wrong with him...
1. Being strict is the worst "I was just protecting him/her" Yeah congratulations, now you have a child who lies to you 24/7 and doesn't feel comfortable talking to you 2. NEVER compare him or her with another kid. "He does this, he does that, his parents must be proud....." It really fs up their childhood because it makes them feel like they were never good enough for their parents Damn, your stories here makes my childhood look like a dream...
I have a friend, and I think her mom is just horrible. She is very strict, and when I'm there she always compares my friend with me, and being like: 'Oh you don't do that, do you cool kid' or 'You always get good grades right?' That's why I never really want to go there anymore.. I think it's really sad for my friend, luckily she has a sweet dad, so that helps a lot.
Me: *gets first A on a test and tells dad all happy* Dad: “You’re supposed to get an A” Just say good job, two words that don’t cost you anything and keeps the child with that feeling of success and wanting to chase that feeling.
Doing what you are supposed to do is doing a good job, especially when you gave the chance to just... not do it, I don’t even understand why I don’t deserve to be praised...
This happens a lot. Especially when you're considered a smart kid, my mom used to say that it would be ok for me to get a B and below if I was stupid, but "I'm not" I'm always expected to be the best, and i just sit there wondering, staring at my B+ and trying to see what was wrong with it that made my mom so angry, when was it decided that I was smart? I dont remember being consulted for this? Who decided this? Is it so bad to be "stupid" ?? I spent a lot of time after that wishing I was dumb, so I didnt have to live up to anything, even trying to hit my head hard enough so I'd stop being smart, my little 10 year old self couldn't handle being the one that everyone expected to be the best. I once got a D on a test in 3rd grade and I broke down crying and was scared to go home and face my mom, and in 2nd grade and I didnt get one of those little award things they give out and was scared to go home because I felt my mom would hate me for it. To this day, I still kinda wish It hadn't been me who was chose to be the smart one, now everything is expected from. But now I feel proud of myself every time I fail something because eit remind sme that I am human and that it's ok. I'm not supposed to get an A, I can, but I dont have to, and neither does anyone else
What’s also damaging is being told you’re supposed to be smarter than everyone else. I got through high school at the top of my game, but as soon as university came, I was in for a world of hurt being on an equal playing field. Shit like that makes you feel uncomfortable asking for help because you believe you’re failing your parents for not being smart enough.
This one time I got 100's on two quizzes i thought I failed and decided to show my mom because I was really proud and her exact response was "cool, can I throw these out now?" She barely even looked at them, too. :/ Edit: it was so weird because whenever I get good grades on something she always tells me "good job", so I was expecting her to do the same that time, but..
My father was a relentless bully. I hated being around him because he'd mock me to tears, and physically assault me if I ever defended myself. One time he kicked me so hard in the backside that I was knocked to the ground while out shopping in town. I got up and walked across town to my grandma's house and told her the situation. She called my parents and then all three of them sat and berated me for what felt like hours, telling me how I was selfish and was trying to make them look bad, and to think what damage I could do to the whole family if I ever told anyone the 'lies' that I'd told my grandma, and "what if the police had found you before we did??!"
"Constantly pushing an intelligent or self motivated child to work harder and harder and do better" as an immigrant kid, i always felt like there was no escape for this. Especially when ur constantly reminded that you have to fight for a place here in the US, more so than others..
It definitely feels like there’s no escape for an immigrant kid- I was always told “you have to work twice as hard just to be considered equal to others just because of where you’re from”. Which went hand in hand with never feeling good enough.
Not an immigrant kid since I was born in Italy but my whole family(besides my lil bro since he was born here too) is since they were born in Ukraine. I can relate to that, in Italy, the best vote you can get is 10, I usually get votes like 9-10 but when I get 8 she already gets upset, like wtf mom, I have alot of good grades but you concentrate on the 8? It's not even a bad vote, sometimes it happens even when I get a 9 smh
I immigrated from China to the US when I was five, then went back for two years when I was eleven. Thank you for saying this. I wholeheartedly agree. My parents reminded me that this was a place of opportunity, but as an immigrant, others have more opportunity to me. I was pushed to my limits, and my mental health degraded. When I was in sixth grade, they started making me learn chemistry, physics, and biology, as well as honors english and algebra 2, and countless other extracurricular activities. Arguing makes it worse, and it makes me sad that this is reality for immigrants.
When parents say “Why don’t you come home?” or “I miss seeing you” etc. and when you do come home they interact with you minimally and both of you sit in separate rooms on your phones
This is so true, granted I'm only 15 but still. My parents always get upset that I’m in my room all the time and tell me I need to spend more time with them or tell me I’m always on my phone, so when I do go to spend time with them I leave my phone in my room and go to spend time with them, but then they’re either on their phone or watching tv and won’t talk to me at all so I’ll suggest we play a game together and they say we will and never do but then apologize or say they feel bad they never spend any time with me but whenever I try I’m just ignored. (also sorry for bad punctuation I'm still struggling with learning how to punctuate properly.)
Yeah I went through that I wish my parents would just ask me to be home when they want and make the most of that time instead of letting me leave whenever and then saying they miss me
"why are you crying" "I'll give you a reason to cry" "go clean, its not like you actually study or have good grades" "stop acting like a child" "your the older one" "just do it, your siblings are younger than you" "you want to start working instead of going to school" "I'll send you to the police if your grades get worse" for these reasons i grew bad habits such as not being able express my feelings easily, i can't say i love you to my family cuz i feel like i'm weak i stopped trying to get good grades, i wasn't stupid but it just seemed like they didn't care, i had honour classes but they didnt tell me they were proud, they just said "nice, what are your grades"
"ill give you a reason to cry" is one of the most stupidest fucking things to say to a child, and the fact that parents say that really pisses me off. Mine and many friends' included.
Im 16 now and am raised by my sister and her husband. My sister told me that questions like "how are you feeling?" Have a correct answer, and that answer is always "fine" or "ok". Most of the time her heart is in the right place, but all she has done with this is make me afraid to talk about my problems. One time my doctor asked me how i was feeling. I was grounded at the time, so i start venting to the doctor, and my sister mumbles under her breath at me to get me to stop. After we left, my sister yelled at me for what i did and told me basically "no one cares that you feel this way. They wont help you." And grounded me for longer. Sometimes she is one of those parents with a "nice" face around others but a "mean" face towards her children when no one else is around. She made me feel this way, and i wont talk to her about it because i feel like i will get in trouble because im not allowed to talk about my problems around others
"Just because they're young, doesn't mean they won't remember." Yes, my parents believed this. Apparently its okay for a 6'1 grown man to throw a tiny 7 year old down onto a bed forcefully for god knows what, scream at her, and threaten to tear apart your favorite stuffed animal because you took of the tag on the couch, or lock her in her own bedroom while standing there, preventing her from coming out, and then refuse to acknowledge that she has depression, and make fun of her anxiety. And apparently its okay to kick your two children out of the house, (one of then being 7,) threaten a child to hit them with a wooden spoon until it breaks, beat them for being too afraid of being touched, and cry because your firstborn has developed tics from anxiety that YOU have put into my heart. Treat your child like a human being, not like a dog that has peed on the your laptop.
Dude this happended at our house to me all the time, even out teachers would beat us with a wooden ruler until it broke and we were never able to complain about it.
I feel like I’m commenting on a lot of these, but that “beat them for being too afraid of being touched” hit hard. My mom used to threaten me with violence a lot, and she would hit me, albeit not often( it was usually just verbal abuse ). So of course, I began to flinch whenever she moved suddenly near me. If she was yelling at me and cornered me per usual, and then moved slightly I’d flinch thinking she’d beat me. If she walked past me too quickly, I’d flinch. If she suddenly started yelling at me, I’d flinch. Every time I flinched, my mother would say “if you flinch one more time, I’ll give you a reason to.” What a psychopath. I actually ran from her terrified, refusing to let her near me because she was yelling at me and approaching me with a pizza cutter in hand. She thought I was being ridiculous, and seemed to think it was funny, but I was genuinely terrified and viewed it as a weapon that she could and would use to hurt me.
at dinner table: Kid: eats food Parent: "eat salad" K: eats salad: P: Why dont you eat food? K: eats both: P: dont eat so fast its dangerous K:eats slower P: aren't you hungry? K:eats at normal sreed P: why dont you talk with us? dont you like talking with your family? K: talks about his day P: dont talk, eat! oh my god i cant with this kid! that makes kids think they are always doing smthing wrong and it makes the anxiety in their head grow huge.
The "big kids don’t cry/crying is weak" really messed me up and i am still messed up because not only do i bottle up my emotions but i also think i have depression and have since 2020 but i only recently told my parents and asked if we could get me actually diagnosed or if i was just being dramatic. Don’t tell your kids that. It’s complete and utter bullshit.
The worst thing ever is when they reply to your questions with: "Because I said so," Like I'm not a child, I have the right to understand what's going on. You can't treat me like an adult one second and treat me like a kid the next. It's just insulting and hurtful
Thie stuff shouldn't even be said to kids, or said in general. Kids have a right to know what's going on as well, and half the time they don't even know what they did wrong. "Because I said so." Is lazy, shitty parenting. Sit down, have a talk with your kid about what they've done, and tell them how to correct it so that they can learn from the situation instead of bullshitting with "because I said so." Honestly, "because I said so" is just some dumbass excuse parents use when they don't want to admit they're wrong majority of the time. It's displayal of the fact that they don't have any other reason present, and are too scared to let their pride fall.
It's so annoying when they do that. When they want you to do something for them Apperently your old enough like taking care of your little cousin but at as soon as you want answers for something . I dont know shit about the real world and I'm a child that needs to stop getting into grown folks business and start acting my age like wtf?!?
@@cozycottage5069 Honestly, it's the same thing. It still doesn't provide good reason as to why she's told you to do something. I wish you luck with her.
So, my dad says "sorry is just a word it doesn’t mean anything" and that basically shows children that if you’re mean or something on accident saying the only word to maybe make it better doesn’t mean anything. I got very mad at my dad and yelled at him, then said sorry. He said something stupid then I said "I said I'm sorry!!!" And he immediately thought of it as rude. These words can make children believe that making things better between people is useless, making them a rude person and getting in lots of arguments. Once my dad called me a crybaby, when I was crying. I felt horrible. I just cried more. So, I think saying "sToP cRyIng1!1!1!1!" Is actually really hurtful to children, making them bottle up emotions to you. My mom said if I went in my room and slammed my door again, she would break it down. Not only did that make me worried about my privacy, I just stopped having alone time. My alone time, was locking my room door and hiding under the covers. I didn’t wanna have my door broken down so I stopped having alone time. That’s it for now. Also, the one from "fridgepotato" I can agree with very strongly.
I can relate to the ‘sorry is just a word and doesn’t mean anything’ it’s pretty harmful because I either end up over-apologizing or bottling up things. Don’t get me wrong my parents are good parents and I love them but I wish they wouldn’t have said those things sometimes :/
My Mom did that when I was sexually harassed. I've been sexually harassed 3 times. I was in 3rd - 4th grade. Each time my mother told me to get over it and that they were just bullies. I'm still traumatized and my mom doesn't care. She just yells at me.
@@insertusernamehere3173 that brings back memories 😖 Just last year (eighth grade) there was this one kid who would constantly try to impress me and get into the things I liked. It was weird though. He'd look into it, say he absolutely loved it, then a few days later trash talk it to my face. Anyway, when that didn't work he turned to harassment. Constantly kicking and hitting me or running his hands along my thighs and whispering sexual things in my ear. I remember telling my mother and that's what she said; that boys will be boys. Luckily it never went too far since a friend of mine was usually there to stop him. There was also a time I hit him where the sun doesn't shine with a book. Sorry if it seemed like I was trying to make this about me. It just seemed like an appropriate time to share. I truly am sorry that you had to go through that though! At such a young age as well.
this really makes me appreciate how much of an awesome mom mine is. she's never told me to quiet down while singing during the day (at night its understandable. people are sleeping. i can be quite loud) and supports my every move for my own future, as long as its not harmful to me or others. she's a stay-at-home mom who has a lot of health issues, but the worst things that have happened to me, i did myself (stepping into pool, despite not knowing how to swim, running in the road, despite being told not to, and nearly getting hit, etc.) she taught me how to take care of myself, and treat others with respect without being mean.
"How DARE YOU, with EVERYTHING WE DO FOR YOU !" It's not because you saved a hundred people, that when you murder someone, you'll be excused. Plus, it makes the child feel extremely guilty for being unhappy about anything That's not healthy
Merrygames Somewhat similar: My mother once told me that she’d sit me down and tell me everything she’s gone though to prove my life wasn’t that bad and what I was going through was pretty insignificant. (Not her exact words but it’s how I processed it.) It made me scared to tell her anything I was dealing with because it’s wasn’t that bad. Granted any time she sees me upset she won’t let me leave the room until I talk about it, so I don’t know what she wants from me. I love my mom, she’s a great mom and I get why she want’s me to talk about what’s happening because she wants to help, but sometimes I don’t want to talk about it. (I’m still in high school, I doubt she want’s to hear all that drama and I don’t want to tell her every time one of my iffy friends annoys me.)
I hate that, in middle school i was grounded for 3 months because i had a F in math even tho i was trying my hardest to get the grade back up. I get it if you arent trying but if you can see your child is trying dont ground them. Its not fair and ive never heard a parent say a reason for it that actually makes sense.
@@baygurl3168 i have a crap grade in math rn and i have anxiety everytime i talk to my dad or when we are in the same room because i dont want him talking to me about it im trying my best tbh
Kid: Mommy! Mommy! Look at what I made for you for Mother's Day! It took me a whole day so I hope you like it! Mom: Ugh! What is this? This is so hideous! You call this a gift? This belongs in the trash. Why didn't you make it better? Kid: I'm sorry... I tried my best. Mom: *throws it in trash can* You better be sorry! Your best isn't good enough. Either be better or be a failure.
Yep. I’m currently in the HONORS COLLEGE and I still get regularly lectured about how I’m going to flunk of of college if I’m not focused on schoolwork… then they wonder why my self esteem is shit
"Are you calling me a liar?" gained me several slaps from both my parents, because my answer, when they were lying was always "yes". Maybe I was more assertive than most children, but I still remember not allowing bs to fly by.
“Are you saying I’m stupid?” and “Are you telling me I can’t remember correctly?”. Yes dad, you’re a fucking moron sometimes. Yes dad, you can’t remember everything perfectly. This feels good to vent out, I’m normally much more polite when telling my parents they’re stubborn idiots who don’t like being wrong.
My grandma tried to gaslight me and my siblings about a cruss word so use to say a lot to us (She would cruss at us in spanish and didn't think that maybe the youngest wouldn't repeat it.) 4 against one but she was willing to 100% died on that hill.
I have loving parents that I know only mean the best for me, but I do feel the pressure of being a “gifted” student. Also past childhood events have made me into not the most confiding person, having a large extended family I’d see a lot meant that there wasn’t much time for any of the younger kids and having a great grandmother who wasn’t the best at dealing with children (she came from a time where what we would now call abuse was just “disciplining”. Also one of her daughters, my grand aunt, recently lost her husband in an accident and has been having a mental breakdown, and I’ve been doing my best to console her and tell her that her emotions are justified while my grandmother acts either ignorant or tells her otherwise. She’s a nice great grandmother, but not a great mother, and seems to have been clinging too hard onto bad parenting), and since my parents had a lot to deal with it often made me feel like I didn’t have much value. Now they don’t live as close to us so we don’t see them as much, but trauma doesn’t go away just because the source does and it’s left me in not a good place. I’ve often lied that, “I’m ok” “I’m fine” “I’m working on it” “it’s done” etc. because I don’t feel confident in telling the truth to them because I have an imprinted irrational fear that I’m going to be in a lot of trouble for opening up. I know they only want the best for me, but having all of this, ADHD, probably OCD, and high school and all the shit that brings, I often find myself putting stuff off and not getting it done, and having stuff just keep chasing me. Im very concerned for myself about it. And to reiterate, my parents do genuinely love me and care for me and my younger brother. I just have a lot of self reenforced trauma that I’m going to need a long time to begin to undo.
Kid and parent: Arguing Kid: makes a valid point Parent: StOp TaLKiNG bAcK Go tO YoUR RoOM *(5 years later the kid is like 14)* The parent: Why dont you talk to us??
this is why if this ever happens to me I’ll record it if I can so if my parents ever ask I’ll just play the recording and they’ll be like “ooohhh right” but being realistic they’ll probs say “well you were talking back” or “well I was in the right anyways” *ya know, just to be a piece of shit.*
This is what happens to me!! Parent: you’re so fat, fast. Years later: Parent: ~screaming at kid and hitting the kid~ WHY DONT YOU EAT?!!!! Also parents: Parent: I DONT WANT YOUR HELP CLEANING! stop. STOPP! Parent: YOU NEVER CLEAN I AM NOT YOUR SLAVE Parent: Your voice sounds so horrible. Stop singing! Parent years later: UGH come on! Why don’t you ever sing and dance with me? YOU’RE SO LAZY! Edit: why is your comment so relatable
Seriously whenever I was upset because of my mom she would just tell me to give her a hug like that would just make me forget everything. No it did not and now i don't want to give anyone hugs because it just feels forced
This happened to me twice i think. First time was when i was like, 8. My dad spanked me and i went to my room (i was crying) and he wanted to be friends again. Second time was about school and after they had made me feel stupid for trying my best and watched me stand there crying they tried to hug me even when i told them i didn't want a hug. I really hated that because i just wanted to cry alone. I love my parents and we are good. I just feel sometimes like they dont understand whats going through my mind and i suck at explaining
being told "i'm your parent, not your friend" is such a bad thing to hear, especially when the only thing you want at that time is a good/normal relationship with your parents ..
Yeah, I got that once with my mom. At first, I rationalized it as her saying she won't let me just do anything that I want, but, you know, I was the nerd and "teacher's pet" at school, so I didn't have but one or two friends (and later on, didn't have any). That's not something you wanna hear when everyone else seems to either dislike you or want to use you and you just want someone to talk to, but you remember that line. It's isolating and really makes you feel like you can't trust your parents half the time. Edit: Don't get me wrong. My mom is a great mom, and she's never done...ANY of the abuse stuff in that vid. Still, she does, on occasion does things that make me realize that she's human and is flawed in quite a few ways.
alexanderrr i’m grateful to have a wonderful mother who has always been my friend but this can be especially damaging when you’re going through a time of depression because of bullying all you need during that time is a friend and for your own parents to tell you that they’re not your friend can really damage a person mental health i’ve witnessed this happen with one of my friends from fifth grade who tried to kill herself because she was going through depression and she hadn’t really spoken to her parents about it when one day they got into an argument and her mom told her that she wasn’t her friend that she was her mother and I think that was the day she realized that she should just not say anything about how she’s going through depression or how she’s being bullied or anything like that
Sorciechan I get what you’re saying but it’s really sad when you hear something upsetting from someone and you tried to dismiss it pretending like it means something else when in reality you know exactly what they meant I feel like a great mother would not say that to her children
SAMEEE MY DAD ALSO SAYS I DIDNT ASK FOR UR OPION WHEN I TRY TO COMMENT OR SPEAK MY MIND (another way he says it is if I wanted ur opinion I’d give it to u which makes me not want to speak my mind or be independent in life, so sad my dad)
my mother was extremely toxic when i was young, she punished us in extremely brutal punishments. one of her favorites was having us strip down naked and stand out on the porch for 10 minutes. we lived in the suburbs. i would see many people stopping and staring at me. now im terrified of changing or even wearing shorts infront of people. btw she doesn’t do this anymore , she has been getting alot better and the only punishment she does now is grounding us and sometimes whooping us! - edit: added the second bit as a sorta update
Every time the kid does something "embarrassing" or even just makes a mistake anyone could make, the parent tells everyone and finds it hilarious. This taught me that if I need help or have to ask a question, don't. I'll wind up getting made fun of for anything. This also ties into oversharing things about your kids to other people as a conversation topic. Some things should stay private and the child doesn't want their life broadcasted at someone's party to give the parent attention. I hope everyone who went through this can recover from it
When I was in middle school I was groomed online by a much older guy. When my mom found out about it she was livid at me and the fallout was pretty bad. When things had calmed down a bit I tearfully asked her if she was going to tell anyone about this because I was embarrassed and didn't want it getting around, I grew up in a tight knit community so if one person knew everyone did. She told me of course she wouldn't because it would reflect badly on her as a parent. I believed her that she wouldn't tell anyone. Then a few months later one of my mom's best friends was driving me, her kid, and some of our friends somewhere and she casually brought the whole grooming thing up in the middle of a conversation in front of all my friends. I was mortified, I cried as soon as I got out of the car. That really made me realize that I can't trust my mom with keeping things to herself, even when she says she won't tell anyone.
I still suffer from it until today. Whenever I had problems and poured it onto her, lo and behold the neighbors already knows. It's such a shitty example of teaching the child that they can never trust you to keep their secrets.
THIS. I AM LITERALLY SO TIRED OF MY MOM OVER SHARING INFORMATION WHEN I'M *LITERALLY RIGHT THERE* I FEEL SO ASHAMED AND EMBARASSED THAT I DON'T EVEN END UP TALKING ANYMORE
Ikr, like do not tell your friends (who i do not even know) about what happened when i was 7 or something. Why you gotta make fun of A Child in-front of so many strangers and laugh about it? I leaves every time the adults talk, I don’t wanna hear them talk about me. They ask why I’m so quiet and disrespectful when they are talking to guests about me and why i am mad. Like why do you think?
Not parents, but choir teacher said this. I had a huge fear of singing in front of an audience, and I didn’t think it was that big until it got to the point when I’d be crying nearly everyday from lessons (up to the point where competitions, which we were required to attend, were finished, but sometimes still occurred outside of this). After I began tearing up after having to sing a section of a music piece one day, he told me this in front of the whole class, and I can’t explain just how much fear washed over me other than with the word “fright.” I understand my huge fear and crying must’ve frustrated him, but I really wished he would’ve done something other than demand (I don’t want to over exaggerate but that’s what it felt like to me) I control my fear. To this day, when I think of music in general, he pops into my mind. Even if I’m terrible at singing, I’ll still do it. Not for him, but for my happiness. I’m working on my confidence. He still haunts me to this day though. I don’t usually comment or reply on videos, but your comment just brought this strong memory up. I don’t believe what your dad said was right. You’re amazing no matter what he says.
This is why i cant cry anymore bc my dad keeps saying ill give you a reason to cry but the reason is your yelling at me and im smaller and i have nothing to defend my self. I cried to much and felt to numb to cry anymore
My mom was homophobic, my brother’s gay, I’m pan, and she saw my wallpaper: Gay Pride. She said if I was gay, she’d break my legs. I’d already had a major surgery on one and didn’t want to ruin it. I completely closed off to her after that; things like changing my password every week, watching my back, and telling all of this to my friends at school. If you’re unsure if your kid’s gay, don’t say stuff like that. It just hurts them when they’re already afraid of you finding out.
@@alanabavli9290 I didn't want to be thrown out of my house. I knew my brother or grandma would take me in, but I didn't want to take my chances or put all of that pressure on them. My brother wasn't doing too well mentally (he had been through a rough breakup) and I didn't want to stress him out.
Tell that to my Dad. He's gonna sign me up for adoption and drop me from the family name if I even turn out bisexual. And I'm not exaggerating, my Dad's half completely ignored a second cousin of mine ever since he came out. I found out he existed 4 months ago. He's in his 30s.
Physical "discipline." Sure, it's legal, but that doesn't mean it is effective or that it's okay. Being pushed up against a wall for something minor or having 180 pounds thrown on you because you're having a breakdown doesn't do anything but give you anger issues, or in my case even *worse* anger issues, PTSD, anxiety, and teaches you to be fearful of your "parent." Parents, please, don't do so much as lay a finger on your child unless they seriously mess up.
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![[Part 1] ทารกน้อยถูกทิ้ง👶 หญิงชราเก็บขวดขายเลี้ยงดูเขาจนโต #โลกการละคร](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/nPTDvFCExks/mqdefault.jpg)
Telling teenagers that their feelings are “just hormones”. Maybe they are caused by hormones, but that doesn’t change the fact that the feelings exist and it sure as hell doesn’t make them feel any better
Y E E T this has happened to me so so many times I can’t even tell my family/friend how I feel anymore
Oh my god! exactly! thanks mom for not letting me know clinical depression runs in the family, no its just hOrMoNeS
_I read this in Aizawa's voice_
It is definitely something he would say and I have been told im the “dad friend”, so that’s valid
Yeah, OMFG. According to my parents I was in "puberty" from 9 to my 18th birthday. Before that I was in the "terrible twos". As soon as I turned 18 I was a responsible adult. Sure. Of course.
Hate when parent say “you are not an adult, stop acting like one” then when it comes onto their side “your at that age where you are becoming an adult”
Ageism is one of the worst traits a person can carry. No one deserves to be scolded for acting "like an adult." It's part of growing up, and everyone deserves to be treated with respect.
-Something from a new subscriber of Noah Lani.
Good luck!😉
I received that plenty of times as a child especially the one with "you're not the parent" I was always taking care of my younger siblings because no one was home. So I'd get frustrated because they never acted like a parent but always loved being in power. It really fucks you up as an adult.
I'm 23 and my step dad still does that "you're a baby compared to me" shit. Like, no. That's not how human biology works. Even though I'm not in my 60s yet, that doesn't mean I'm not a goddamn adult.
I hate when my mom justifies her bad actions with “ I’m the mom and can do whatever i want and you’re the child”
Especially when you’re copying your parents and they mock you for it.
When I was a kid my parents had an awful financial situation. We’d eventually been kicked out of a shabby basement suite because they couldn’t afford the rent anymore (time was roughly mid 2000s when prices of things really started skyrocketing) so my Nanie (dads mom) let us move into her house as long as my parents did their share of housework, chores, and maintenance. My parents would always thank her for making food, and me being old enough to understand why we were living with her, I decided to be polite and thank her too. They all stopped and looked at me weirdly, then laughed at me for “being silly” and “pretending to be grown up”.
I would also try and use bigger words (that I did actually understand), stack dishes by the sink, clean, and even try and give my two cents on family stuff (I was one of those “gifted children” so most stuff “too advanced” for children actually came pretty easy). They’d laugh at me being “too competent” so they tried to slow me down, but guess where that landed me? Failing grades, major complete inability to make decisions, and absolutely no f***ing idea how to start a washing machine. (Edit: spelling mistake)
Saying everything you’re kid has done wrong/embarrassing in a family gathering.
The Driver22845 that’s actually one of the scummiest things a parent can do, it doesn’t seem that bad but it makes you feel like utter shit
F...
Mother does this all the time
My mom just did that shit today and told my aunt's about stuff i did
I don’t have family reunions, but if I did I’m sure my parents wouldn’t say much about those things unless I was little, like 2 years old.
"My child is perfect! There is nothing wrong with her!" Word for word what a mother said to us when we went to her with our concerns over her child's obvious autism. No, ma'am, autism doesn't mean there's something wrong with her. It just means we need to figure out how to adjust things so we can teach & work with her. An actual diagnosis would make it easier.
-Karen
No, really it looks like like this phrase is said by a karen
ikr
This, sometimes there is something very wrong with them and it’s either bad or just kid having problems you need to help solve them
This, sometimes there is something very wrong with them and it’s either bad or just kid having problems you need to help solve them
My dad any time I struggled so he wouldn't Gabe to help me. I'm perfect, so nothing else us required of him
ignoring your children's ideas and then later claiming them as their own and refusing to acknowledge that the child came up with the idea
That's horrible I'm glad my mom isn't on this videos list
Oh god tell that to all the people around me
@@dazaiosamunyaa1869 I hate it when schools do this. Ask student for solutions to problem. Student give reasonable answer. School takes main idea and rewords it to sound new. Claim it's there own Idea so it makes the school staff look smart and good at problem solving when instead it just teaches the students to be plajurists
Apex X I was never in such a situation since my school does make decisions without the help of students (sometimes they consult parents) and I think they would give credit to a student who had an idea for improving the school or solving a problem. I was referring to my desk mate, hopefully got rid of her today (she snapped at me because I’m better at physics than she is 😂😂and she’s an arrogant a**hole and I was just too well-educated to be rude until today when I snapped. I am not a patient person, I did my best and put up with her for 6 months), overall,my peers, even my family and ESPECIALLY, to my mother’s “friends”. Then everyone wonders why I keep to myself and oops, I can get out of difficult situations with way more efficiency than anyone around 😇😇😇😁
Sounds like my "foreman" EVERY SINGLE DAY. Gonna just start recording the fuck and get him fired for the million things he shouldn't have done and now I'm stick on his crew because I'm the only one who works. Being nice doesn't get you anywhere with parasites.
“Every child deserves a parent, but not every parent deserves a child”
That could not be anymore true
Scream it out louder for the people in the back👏. I know too many people that should never have had kids, there's one chick who has four and she gave up shared custody of her two sons to their biological dad in order to move away to another state with her new husband and her two daughters she had with him. When their relationship fell through she ended up not being able to move out of state, I wonder what her sons will think of her as they get older knowing their own mother gave them up just so she could move away for some dick. Honestly their fathers side of the family are better and more careing people than the moms, I've known her side of the family since I was little and they are very toxic and the younger sister that was around my age is a narcissistic master manipulator and got whatever she wanted and even has a kid now.
same i literally got adopted by my grandmother and can't legally see him because after we moved he got arrested
Very true. My grandparents were made my legal guardians because my father abused and terrorised my mother so badly even after their awful, messy divorce (in which he lefts all his debts in her name and even tried to convince her to sell one of her triplets (her triplets being me, my brother and sister) to his girlfriend because she was barren) that it drove her to a nervous breakdown and actually unable to cope. I didn't know my father well, so I resented my mother for leaving us for a long time, but we did eventually bury the hatchet when she started showing up again and keeping her promises, once I understood more and more of what was going on. As for my father, all I want to know of him is where he's living -- it's always easiest to deal with a spider when you know where it's hidden, if just to avoid it.
Some """parents""" deserve a sledgehammer to the crotch.
It’s weird when you grow older , that you realise the things you went through weren’t normal.
Fr, when I get even the slightest upset at my dad for doing something, ,,(his fault) he'll get mad back at me, no sorrys or anything just anger right back at me, and it pisses me off to no avail, so everytime that happens it feels as if our relationship is being torn away at the seams.
Because of this video I have new things to talk to my therapist about
I realised it when i was 12, probably with the help of my Asperger's.
Rebecca Johnston Fuck, I didn’t come here to be attacked :’(
Danny Stewart i stoped entirely talking to my dad because of the shit
"They still love you, they just don't show it." Oh yes, of course the sister who called me a demon, imp, spoiled brat, bitch, etc without apologizing once, as well as threatening to beat me up when I was 4 (she was around 14 and in martial arts), and various other things that absolutely traumatized me shows that she, indeed, *loves* me.
Love is a good word that describes this kind of behavior 😌
Thats insane. she should have never been doing Martial arts i’m sorry you had to go throu that
@@vikingdrengenspiders7875 its okay
No, don’t talk to your sister anymore
@@wearsbighats7944 don't go around spouting that shit. this is a vent and it is obvious sarcasm in the post.
"Because I said so" IS THE WORST THING YOU CAN SAY TO YOUR KID
Arrgh, so true. I don't think I had this line used against me too often, but playing that trump card is really cheap.
I know, it’s not even a reason...
If I took a shot everytime one of my parents said that to me, I'd just be dead.
Because I said so was used on me by my parents. It meant they were done arguing with me and I had to obey. It gave no room for why after why. Used right, it can be beneficial to the child. Used wrong, good luck in even being in your child’s life.
My grandma would do something like this I'd ask for a reason she would say because eventually I used because as a reason and she got mad, I told her if she can use it as a reason why can't I?
Punishing your kid for being too talkative and then having the nerve to ask " Why are you so quiet?"
I was always a quiet kid. My twin sister was the only who talked. She would even talk _for_ me. I had started opening up at around 8.
My depression ‘phase’ and crippling self worth of always being wrong and hated by everyone only made it worse. I didn’t talk at all unless I had to answer a question/had to say something. If I did talk, it was normally in a calm, quiet voice.
I came off as cold for being so calm, and as you would’ve guessed, this only made it worse. I did get better for a good amount of time. (maybe a month)
Because of my lack of a change and too many *sudden* changes, I just got ‘bad’ again.
TLDR: Quiet as a youngster just because, quiet as a younger me because of my depression, and quiet now because of lack of change.
Owen Boyd holy crap... this is my mom also... being overly nice in public but seemed like she hated me in private. Yelling at me instead of having a normal conversation and getting mad when I started crying... so much abuse. I’m sorry your mom is this way
Some total BS that happened a few years ago was that my mom got pissed off that I couldn't find a baby bottle in the car. My sister said she'd check for me, I waited for her to find it while I search elsewhere. She got even more pissed off and that's when my sister said she didn't bother, great she lied. My mom tried taking my ds while I was explaining. When the fight got worse and I tried running away my mom just picked me up to start bitching at me. Awhile after that my dad started a fight about where to put some damn laundry, I tried explaining how I processed it, the whole thing he dragged to nearly giving me a seizure from any possible stress. AT THE SAME TIME I TRIED DEFENDING MY SISTER WHO HE WAS CALLING A JACKASS AND SHE JUST TOLD ME TO SHUT UP! I was trading pokemon online during then I had to turn it off because my head was spinning. I just need to get a job and one of my friends said I could move out and live with her but just need to get a job, I can trust her more than any of the assholes for parents, whereas they sold my 3ds and Wii afterwards and trying to make me the enemy on Facebook, she at least a few months ago for Christmas got me a 3ds. I hate them and I want to just move out and cut off contact with them.
They later on wonder why I'm always on my phone or ds, in my room ignoring them, maybe because MY DAD HAD TO WALK AROUND SAYING HOW HE HATES HAVING KIDS. When I move out eventually the idea to take a shit on something of his just seems too generous for not being able to trust people almost anyone anymore
I always talked too much, and I'm a lot quieter now. All my friends/family assume that I'm in a bad mood just because I know how to focus or give my attention to something else.
"crying won't fix anything!"
yeah but it feels good to get it out before I can begin to fix things
My grandmother ( I call her mom for personal reasons ) knows that I'm very sensitive and that I could start crying a little for well little things , my mom thinks that saying " You are so sensitive. Cry when I die " will make me stop being so sensitive
And thats why I always hide my face when my nose gets red and put on a fake smile
Yeah if only parents know that the human body needs to cry to release sadness
It helps your mental health
@@ryujin3588 _I cry over small things to like not being able to get a game a really like because the app store is being a dummy, but it's fine if your upset then your upset nobody is going to be affected by it_
Damn that's what I always tell myself..
I’m going to add something from my personal experience: Getting mad at a child for thoughts of su1c1de/a su1c1de attempt. When I was in the 5th grade, my parents found out I hade tried to choke myself and did nothing but take away a game or two and threaten to send me to a mental asylum. This led me to feeling like I need to hide things from them, and I was battling su1c1dal thoughts without telling them for the rest of my childhood. In the time I needed support, I got threats and a real problem got blamed on a few video games.
Edit: forgot to say that my step-dad was a s3xu@l abuser, but he recently left after I told my mom and we’re doing much better without him.
Edit: Don’t worry y’all the step dad is permanently gone know and my mom takes my mental health much more seriously woot woot
If you’re kid is depressed or needs help don’t take away the thing that makes them happy. This mistake is made by a lot of parents and it just makes it worse usually. I hope you’re doing better now and I hate when parents do this. Lots of love from someone who has anxiety and doesn’t tell her parents about it beside the answer she’ll get is “it’s just a phase. You’re being dramatic”. I hope you’re doing better now and when your parents wonder what they did to you, they look back on this. ❤️❤️❤️
Relatable my mom uses mental illnesses as slurs lol
he (or her) tried killing himself.
"a yes its all crash bandicots falt, i knew it!"
@@GreGoEDS hilarious, but sadly accurate 💀
" Hmm, my child has tried killing themselves..gotta be those damn video games. " Yeah, sure, because that makes sense. You think your kid would play games if they made your kid want to kill themselves? That's like saying that your kid being stuck in a cage with a lion will make them happy. No, it's the exact opposite, you dumbass, most of your family probably shares one braincell that you pass around to each other if you think that it's like that.
As a wise man once said:
All kids deserve parents, but not all parents deserve kids
Not every kid deserves a parent
@@leilalee328 Explain please and thank you
@@checklist06 I assume spoiled brats is the answer.
@@actuallyanimatics2938 a kids disrespectful (spoiled) behavior is a result of their development (mostly parenting) I mean it's literally called spoiling because you the parent are screwing up your kid! So yes every kid deserves a parent and all parents don't deserve kids.
@@actuallyanimatics2938 is a kid who is poor and is teach how to give in take by their parents spoiled?
the key detail in that was the word, parents showing that kids learn from what their parents teaching. Also that is then answer but that answer needs to be explained if want people to see your point of view
When you are in the middle of an argument, or realize you are wrong as the parent, don’t *guilt trip the kid.* My mother still doesn’t see a problem with saying. “I guess I’m a terrible mother.”
that happens so often and I just got fed up so I started to say "Yes it's your fault" like yes, yes it is :))
"I guess you're learning to be better next time, Karen. " In monotone while stare at her dead in the eye.
mine doesn't see a problem with "i went through nine months of struggling for you, and you can't stop being lazy?!". I'm sorry that happens to you
dude my dad constantly says this and it really irritates me
"yeah, i guess you are. you should try to improve." -me to my mom every time she says that
"Don't talk about what *you* want to talk about. Only talk about what *others* want to talk about."
I had virtually no friends and grew up introverted thanks to this.
See? This is an actually good example of shit parenting, and it gets no likes.
what’s wrong with being introverted :(
YES. MY DAD SAYS THIS WHEN I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE THINGS I LIKE. HE SAYS THAT HE DOESNT CARE. AND OTHER PEOPLE DONT CARE AND THAT I SHOULD LEARN TO TALK ABOUT THINGS THAT INTEREST OTHER PEOPLE SO I CAN MAKE FRIENDS. HE COMPLAINS ABOUT ME BEING FRIENDS WITH PEOPLE THAT LIKE THE THINGS I LIKE BECAUSE HES LIKE THEY DONT KNOW ABOUT OTHER THINGS OR WHATEVER.
AND HE GETS MAD AT ME FOR BEING UNSOCIAL AND BEING ON THE INTERNET OR CALLING PEOPLE EVEN THOUGH WE LIVE IN THE BAHAMAS. HE DOESNT ALLOW ME TO HANG OUT WITH PEOPLE AND THEIR PARENTS DONT ALLOW THEM TO HANG OUT WITH PEOPLE EITHER.
One time my mom and dad told me a pet had died instead of telling me they gave it away. They didn't have the funds to keep it, but they thought lying to me would be better. After an hour of hearing me sob, my mom explained what really happened, and I told her to never lie to me like that again because I would rather have an animal go to a good home than have it be dead.
Opposite happened to me. Our dog bit me and my mom had it put down (not single parent, dad was deployed). She told me she gave it to a friend. Once I was over it I didn’t think about it for 25 years. Talking to my mom about it a few weeks ago and I ask if she knew how long the dog lived after she gave it away. She lowers her glasses and gives me a “Really?” look (one I realized I use all the time at work). It all came together and I just say, “Oh. Oooooooh! Damn, I’m dumb!”.
Screaming at your kid for bad grades instead of helping them. That doesn’t fix their grades, it makes them worse, *DAD.*
It helped me... sorta..
My parents used to be okay with 50 - 75 but got annoyed with anything under 70. I worked hard to please them and I'm an average at 90%. Now my parents get mad if I have an 80. :/
YUP MOM
I am already insecure enough
KingCobrai The Commenter 😳🤭😔
I was a 75 average and every time I got a test back I would start crying because I had to take it home and get my mom to sign it and I would get the lecture of "you know this so why aren't you doing better and I should be better than how she was when she was in school" resulting in more crying. It got so bad the teacher started sending me to the Guidance counsellor's office when the "tell your mother you have a B" wasn't working.
Fast forward a year later and I completely bombed a test, I got a 49, I took it home expecting my mom to give me a lecture and instead she just looked at me with the "I'm disappointed in you" look and walked away. When she did that I was so relieved that I think I smiled just because I didn't get the "your grades a disappointment, what's wrong with you" lecture.
@@dapperdapper3902 because they want you to do better
"You need to be more like [This Person]"
I hated that as a kid.
The funny thing is my parents never once told me that( and I'm grateful for it) but instead I'm the one telling myself that
Yup, it's why I hated doing a lot of things since its always "your brother" I'm like bitch he was never around me when he was "a kid" forget the 15-year fucking gap. Like dammit shut the fuck up
I WAS ALWAYS COMPARED WITH AS A KID AND THEN BRAINWASHED TO THINK THAT I Wasn't 😭😭
Happens to me all the time and then when I bring it up they're just like 'but we weren't comparing you!'
Same here it’s the worse
When your parents say "It's my house..."
But when the house is messy it magically becomes everyones house
*seriously though*
*CONDITIONAL COMMUNISM*
My dad does that and he also says that my room isn't my room. Its his and I'm just staying in it and I could be kicked out whenever... I'm 15
@@crunchysnickers5384 That is not right.
And in some cases expect you and your siblings to take care of it.
4:21 THIS ONE HITS HARD
As like a 7 year old I was learning the piano (damn good at it too) and was considered the gifted one of the family. I felt proud of it, but the second my grandma realized all that I could do she decided to take my pacing into her own hands and enrolled me in like a bajillion different programs and would criticize all of the small mistakes I made and the fact that I didn't want every second of my life to be devoted to progressing. Ended up becoming a perfectionist to the point where I can't finish a single project because it always "needs more work" or "isn't going in the right direction". I have nearly no flexibility as an artist and if a project isn't exactly as I imagined it I find it hard to look past it. And with all the instruments I know, the one time I failed to immediately get the hang of one without help, I blamed myself, even though after like one hour at a guitar class I was doing well.
Parents need to stop steering gifted children so hard that they begin to not want to be gifted anymore.
I know this is happening to me I just want to end it all because no one would miss me
ikr
@@Aizawasimp69 please don't it must be hard did you try telling them and they got mad and didn't let you stop or did you not tell?
Parents do their best to make sure you are setup for an easy adult life. Idk how old you are but when you reach a certain age you will appreciate the fact they even cared to try and help in the first place. Also your hangups as an adult now as a perfectionist are your issues, not theirs. As a mature adult its on you to be mindful of your bad habits and fix them, not blame your parents who just wanted the best for you. Its not unique to you. Parenting is hard and you sacrifice a LOT for kids. Its on YOU to fix your shit and its on YOU for your current behavior as an adult, not your parents.
@@thepunisherxxx6804 "Wanting the best" for me? She physically and mentally abused me as well as my siblings. She was overbearing, NOT mentoring. It IS on me to *fix* the problems she caused, but she was indeed the one that caused them. No child should be held to the standard of a virtuoso, especially to the low level of tolerance she had. Your take is literally the most dumpster fire take I have ever heard.
She was not a teacher, she was not a parent, she was an abuser and the main root of many issues for me and my sisters. Still to this day, she is and was physically violent, even as we are grown. The only thing SHE fucking sacrificed was the time it took to smack around a 7 year old when he made an error on the piano. That's not parenting. And if you think it is, do reflect, and maybe prevent yourself from reproducing. I will never appreciate her, but instead I will appreciate my ACTUAL parents, my mother and father. THOSE were my parents. THEY cared. Not my grandmother. Judging by your perspective, I highly doubt you have ever struggled with mental illness in the wake of abuse, so let me stress it further:
I never said it was on her to fix it, but she caused it. And you do not do that to a 7 year old child.
You should not hit a 7 year old, especially one that isn't yours, and over something as trivial as piano practice.
If your 7 year old is genuinely suicidal, something has LIKELY gone severely wrong.
Like seriously, if this take were an entree at a restaurant, it would be considered a biohazard.
When saying legitimate facts in an argument, and they call it ‘talking back’.
From experience I know for sure that this is an actual thing.
Had that a lot in high school
I knowww I'm 15 and not allowed to call my 12 year old brother an idiot. I keep telling my dad that I'm literally gonna start working soon and that its retarded that I can't say that, but I still cant say tons of things that middle schoolers would be able to say. :/
Edit: I forgot to say this, but me and my brother call each other names jokingly, and we both just laugh it off afterwards.
@@SparkzOnYT but... that isn't self advocating or speaking legitimate facts... that's just being rude... like I get it, I'm 15 too, and I also call my little sister names , but like I do it endearingly (she understands it's all in jest and let's me know if I overstep her boundaries, and when that happens I stop) but I dont think there is anything inherently wrong with your perants instilling basic manners into you... its annoying sure, especially when it doesn't feel like a big deal but that doesn't change the fact that its rude to call your brother an idiot :/
Right, litteraly taking a punishment i didnt do.
"I brought you into this world and I can take you out!"
So because I'm 7 and forgot to take out the trash you're gonna K I L L me?
Lmao they got that from the movie poster for Mom and Dad the movie
My dad said this to me the other day because i ask him to not touch me (shoulder, butt, waist, ect) and he then he backed me into a corner and said that to me. It was honestly scary and I felt very threatened, luckily, when he later said “okay?” I stood up for myself and said “no, not okay.” It didn’t work of course, so I just have to strategically choose when to go to the kitchen when he wouldn’t be able to stand up in time for me to slip away. But I’ll be planning on moving out ASAP.
how the fuck is threatening your child ok ?
My mom only said that as a joke
martin my parents always threaten me both of them and I'm the oldest child .
This is why, not everyone should be parents.
Edit 1: After reading comment after comment, I just want to say, for all of you people that had tragic childhood lives due to neglectful parents, I am so sorry, I somewhat know how it feels, and I just want to say, do what makes you happy in life, try to be the best you that you can be, and even if you can't do that, at least you tried. Good luck to you all. From one internet stranger to many others. See yah later.
Edit 2: I didn't think I would do this but, thanks for the likes. You made my day, and I hope someone can make your day to. Bye.
Samantha Maureen Cabarles I’m sorry to hear that man I hope you’re doing better?
Samantha Maureen Cabarles If you don’t mind me asking what does he have?
The Magical Rape Van what happened
The RadioRacer Group well I was talking to somebody about their issue but they ended up deleting their comments
Just because you can have children doesn't mean that you should
This was surprisingly relatable, my mom would always tell me to “grow thicker skin” or that I’m “too sensitive” or “dramatic” because I would cry when she would yell at me it’s literally been years and she’s still like this (I’m 15 now, it started when I was 6) and I tell myself she’s better now but the only reason she says stuff like that to me less now is that I’ve learned to bottle up my emotions and cry in private, I’ve also learned how to cry really quietly. Whenever I bring this up (sometimes she notices that I hide my face and/or look away when I cry) she says “I never did that!” Or “I don’t abuse you or anything stop acting like a beaten puppy!” I refuse to cry infront of anyone now, she made me feel like a coward (not to mention she vents to me about her boyfriend and her job and how stressed out she is in general)
When she vents to you just say "Have fun."
“Urgh it’s just a bug, why are you so scared” says the one who told me it’ll crawl in my ears and lay eggs in there when I’m sleeping, thanks a lot, your reassurance helps doesn’t it.
Earwigs? My sister was terrified of them for this reason, I was paranoid but would kill them any time I saw one.
Looks like you're describing my mom
My dad yells at my brother when he wont kill a spider (everyone but my dad has bad arachnophobia)
But when my dad sees a cockaroach all girlish screams break lose XD
OMG YES my dad did this to me my whole life and now I have panic attacks when I get stung by anything and I run when I see bees or centipedes. (I lived in Texas so I’ve been stung by a lot of sh!t) thought i was the only one.
@@icecubes9056 Same. I couldn’t fall asleep without covering my ears with my hair or something 💀
"Don't act depressed"
I wonder why am i "acting" this way
JuSt SmIlE, aNd Be HaPpY
@@svartrbrisingr6141 my dad be like
"Don't act depressed"
*I'm not acting, Gertrude.*
"Stop being depressed."
Like wtf, am I supposed to go "Oh! Why didn't I think of that?! Thanks!"
Ummm you’re too young to have natural feelings
Mom: “You’re getting fat”
Me: *stops eating as much as I used to*
Mom: “You should eat more”
yeah like BUOY DEFOCK
WHAT- THAT'S HYPOCRISY! tell your parents that
One of my friends mother would constantly tell her not to eat in between meals. While her brother only ate between meals. She is incredibly thin like dangerously thin and didn’t eat normal food until she was bullied for it in kindergarten
My family used to call me skinny, used to make fun of me when I did anything physical, all because of how "skinny" I was. So I started eating more and now I'm getting called "fatty" and I'm "getting bigger" or should "slow down". Now I'm eating less, AGAIN, and they still call me names, like I can't win with these people.
What the hell is wrong with these people!? I truly hope all of you can get over those bullies one day :)
Child: * describes textbook incident of bullying *
Mom: * handwaves it away * "Oh, they just like you."
No, mom, that's not how "liking" someone _works,_ mom, the people who love you should not be allowed to hurt you just because they _supposedly_ love you, _mom._ I'd never experienced it, and even _I_ knew that. I knew that _at ten years old,_ mom, why didn't *_you_* know that until I yelled it at you last week!?
Id get beat up at school and my dad would tell me the same thing. Ummm I don’t think half the girls in my grade are lesbian?!
right! toxic parenting sucks
What my parents think they’re teaching me:
Behaving
Being honest
Listen
What they’re actually teaching me:
How to listen for footsteps
How to lie on the spot
How to act like you’re listening
Too true
Shaggy you have spoken the truth
Agreed
100%agreed. I am now so skilled at detecting footsteps I can identify which family member it is, what they want ( they usually have a specific purpose for coming up, otherwise most stay down) and whether I’m in trouble. For eg. if my mom is coming but her steps sound soft, then she is trying to sneak in and see what I’m doing. Once I was chatting with a girl on snap ( I’m not allowed to do either) and next thing I know she just bursts in thru the door like terminator. I quickly closed the app and was about to delete it but mom snatched the phone from me. When I resisted, she actually fucking bit me.
Ay we out here gang shit
Anything that ends with “it builds character” prolly sucks
Calvin would agree
@@natania7738 Hey, people still remember Calvin and Hobbes! I loved to read that comic when I was a kid
let's be friends
"Go jump off a cliff"
"Why?"
"It builds character"
Ya no. It probably builds murderous rage instead
Making ur kid act like an adult But treating them like a child
E X A C T L Y
YES
Damn this is exactly how my mom treats me. like, when she saw me doing/saying something childish, she would be kinda mad and tells me in a calm way to not do/say that at home nor in public and then a few hours later, she would run towards me and hugs me and say stuff like "AWW WHOS MOMMY'S FAVORITE CHILD?? ITS MY BABY ANGEL!!"
(Don't worry, I still love my mom a lot, I just think her way was wrong)
Yesss! This constantly happens to me!
This👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Hearing all of these stories im actually really thankful for my parents and that they haven’t used/said/done the majority of these things.
However, for all of you who grew up with a lot of these "tricks", i hope you are feeling better now. And remember, nothing was your fault, you were only a kid and you deserved/still deserves good parents.
Thanks alot my parents allways never wanted anything to do with me pretty much before i was a teen they used more than one of the trick metioned in the other comments and video i made a comment already with an example. This is very nice for you to say and i hope that you keep making people smile as you did for me.
When the child and parents are having a serious talk and the child starts to cry, they say "stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about." To this day I have a major fear of crying in front of anyone, adults especially.
Similarly, when they question why your getting emotional at certain times. I deal with that more often than not
Also when you start crying-
“DId sOMebOdY dIE?!?!!?!”
@Grappy Day yes, my emotional stability
My dad's version was "Are you hurt? No, then stop crying" really fucked me up
Cute-Art __ that’s psychological abuse
"I didn't Do it. You don't know I did"
"Are you calling me a liar?"
"No I'm calling you Ignorant"
_"I AIN'T CALLIN' YOU A TRUTHER!"_
@@master_matthew lol
If I had the vocabulary to reply like that as a kid I would not be alive today lol
I would just silently stare at my parents because if I spoke I'd just cry. Lol
@@NoOne-ri7tw id eventually just stop talking because sometimes no matter what you say its used against you
In a nutshell: Being a parent is not a licence to be a psychopath, sociopath, tyrant or a narcissist to your children.
It's just morally revolting that people seriously defend these parenting practices and act as if there are no consequences for basically treating your kid(s) like puppets who aren't supposed to know better.
Edit: One time on Twitter, UberFacts posted a tweet stating that raising your voice at children causes long term damage to their emotional health. Only a small fraction of the replies agreed with it, the rest hated the tweet, accusing UberFacts of pandering to coddling/overprotective parenting. So according to those people, showing the slightest ounce of empathy to your kids will turn them into oversensitive snowflakes when they grow up. Certainly not a false dilemma fallacy.
Yeah, just like in the 70's when beating your kids was perfectly normal and disguised as "discipline." That is no way to treat a child. They may be saying it is for teaching a lesson, but it's in fact an unhealthy and HORRIBLE way for the parent to relieve their own stress.
I even saw someone somewhere saying that you should “lovingly spank your children” and that “they should love being spanked” who the HELL says that what CHILD likes being spanked that’s one of the most idiot things I’ve ever heard 🙄😐😬
@@daisymay6505 What in the actual FU-
@trashbang There are better ways to discipline.
*cough cough* Ozai *cough cough*
I don't know who else's parents did this but..
Taking things that you love and those certain things make you calmer.
*Because this is totally how you calm down someone that is already crying*
Agreed didnt really hell the panick attack i jad been having cause than i was scared as fuck towards fire and the had started a binfire in the backyard of our neigbors house and i had saw it and they came in and ripped my quilt my grand ma had mad me into like 7 peices than yelling quite crying your annoying your sibling. Ya know MOM that never fucking helped?!
Relatable for almost everyone(I’m lucky this doesn’t happen to me).
When they yell horrible things at you and you start crying, then they say "stop immediately or I'll give you a REAL reason to cry."
Because of this, I panic everytime I hear people yelling or talking very loud
Same here 😔
Me too. I still can’t take adults scolding or yelling at anyone because of this, even if it’s not me.
Ali
Oh you too they give you that shit ...
I just want to hit you when you say that
Cries in mexican
me too..
Easily snapping into a fit of rage and yelling to your children while they are crying, threatening them, and then apologizing a few minutes later and using "I love you I'm sorry I just get annoyed do you understand?" as you are basically the one trying to be consoled by the child you were just yelling at.
This is toxic? My mom and dad do it all the time, they snap at me and then tell me they love me and stuff, your parents don't do that?
my mom does this all the time
@@yohando6043 mine too, but it probably was the better for me, because i got better grades in the long run then when it was not so important, my grades started to do average.
I think it just happens in stressful situations
BRO THATS LITERALLY EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION
"Stop acting like a child, your growing up so act like it."
*literally FIVE seconds later*
"So can I get a job?"
"You're only a kid! Why do you try to grow up so fast???"
Edit: Grammar
hypocrite parents are the worst
Omg I had this EXACT conversation with my mom a few weeks ago
They’ll say I’m so irresponsible because I’m so young but then five seconds later rely on me to do everything around the house. Btw I have two older brothers and a little sister, but they only rely on me. No one else has ever lifted a finger. Their excuse? “You’re the most responsible, take it as a compliment”.
@@elena4875 Excuse me are you stalking me?
Omfg I'm 13 and for years I've been wanting to work. I just felt like I've matured faster than the people around me and I needed to make money to help stay afloat. My mother yells at me for not helping financially or saving money, but if I ask for help to make money off my art for now, she shuts me down immediately. I'm aware that I'm legally too young to work, even if I want to. That's why I wanted to make money off commissions. My parents hate that idea, that I'm an artist.
Controlling kids through fear
My dad was very prideful of this way and would show this parenting like a trophy. “If my kids aren’t afraid of me than I’m doing something wrong.” My mom is the opposite. I’m always so surprised when she apologizes to me and admits a mistake she made. I have so much respect for my mom and as I’ve gotten away from my dad I lost the fear. I might contact him in a few years. After an argument he said he won’t talk to me till I’m in my late 20s because I’ll be mature enough and understand by then. I’m am so lucky that I have my mom and we have a mutual respect for each other. My dad does not see me as a person so if anyone has kids respect them and they will respect you in return.
My dad is like this too. Sometimes when he's mad he will raise his hand like he's going to hit us, and I instinctively flinch. I don't specifically remember ACTUALLY being hit before, but if you're gesturing in an aggressive manner and your kids flinch then just MAYBE you should realize that they feel genuinely threatened. He also yells at the smallest thing because he thinks it's the only way we'll listen to him and says that we're disrespectful/talk over us if we try to defend ourselves, which backfires on him because constantly screaming at your kids makes them less inclined to do whatever you're telling them to do. We're afraid when my mom gets mad solely because of the fact that she hardly ever gets angry, but it's the "Oh shit I'm actually in trouble" kind of scared and not genuine fear of punishment.
yeah
My dad is the same
When parents think EVERYTHING the child says is "talking back/being disrespectful"
Omfg I hate it I once politely asked my mom to put her dirty dishes in the dishwasher because thats what she suggested and the dishwasher is empty
AND THEN SHE YELLS AT ME FOR "SCOLDING HER"
IKR teachers as well, like for them, just replying to your FREAKING QUESTION is talking back??
Teacher's jobs are to TEACH not SCOLD.
@@nobodyhere1496 LITERALLYYYYY
Specially if they are just talking in a respectful and civil manner. It sucks.
Me: h-
my mom: DISRESPECTFUL!
“You’re 15! It’s time you stopped acting like a child and learned to act your age”
Two weeks later
“You’re only 15! It’s time you stopped acting like and adult and learned to act your age”
Yeah teens are basically between those 2. Conclusion: Im a FrICkInG muTanT🤣
Pls dont hate me for posting this sorry ik im really annoying ;-;
@@lunatism9714 nah but maybe I don't find you annoying because my humor is similar to yours
*2 seconds
Parents always switch between acting like you're a child or an adult based off when it helps their argument. The problem w/ being a teen is that adults give you the responsibilities of an adult without any of the freedom. I'm 15, and I have to clean, take out the trash, do my laundry, make my own food (except for dinner usually), but do I get a car? My own place? Rights? No, of course not, bc I'm still just a kid.
@@brennantaylor301 Well what do u expect that they're just gonna give u a car and place to live?Do u have any idea how much *ONE* of those costs,let alone *BOTH* of them!?
My mom: "Why are you always in your room? Stop being so lazy, do something!"
My mom every time she gets mad at me: "Go to your room and stay there until dinner. And after dinner, I want you back in your room!"
True
4:13 I can relate to this somewhat. When I was going through some bad emotional and mental stuff in my late teens, my parents would tell me I was too young to feel that way or that I had nothing to worry about. Things got better when I got a bit older, but still, it didn't feel good to wait until I became an adult to finally have those feelings validated.
Same man. It’s great that things have improved since then for you, keep it up bro👍
@@spiderfrommars2334 I appreciate it :)
"Don't bottle up your emotions, it's bad for you"
*Say how I feel*
That's it? That's why you're sad?!
They invalidate my emotions to worthlessness
Your feelings are valid and you are not worthless. They don't know how to parent, and that is not your fault. Have a good day/night and I hope you find a way to let out the feelings without them being invalidated.
jesus im sorry
Parents: "say what you think, dont keep secrets"
Me: says what i think
Also me: gets judged the moment i speak
I used to cry a lot as a kid and whenever I cried my parents would say "You are just being dramatic stop crying" or "Your friends won't like you if you cry all the time"and then they ask me to open up to them about how I feel
same
Not letting your kids live life and make mistakes before they move out. Every kid I've ever known that had over protective parents ended up going wild the second they got a taste of freedom, and most try to put lots of space between them and their parents.
Cole Cooper I was over protected and isolated, lots of alcohol through high school
I’m abandoning my parents the second I leave
Lol I may not go wild since I already fight for my freedom. But I will always keep a distance. It's better for me and them.
I think that mighta happened to my ex, which btw her parents forced me and her to break up. And I honestly think she wouldn't be partying and having sex with people she said she wasn't even interested in n stuff, if me and her were together, as we made each other hopefully and only ever did bad things because her mother was trashing me and not letting her see me, since she didn't set my ex up with me and wanted her with someone else.
Cole Cooper yup I went “wild” not anything too bad but my parents weren’t fans of what happened
Also, if a child is crying, do not do the following:
-yell at them
-sarcastically ask “did someone die?”
-tell them “it’s no big deal”
-get mad or upset at them
What you *should* do if a child is crying:
-tell them “it’s okay” or that they’re fine, and possibly why
- *comfort them*
Crying is healthy.
Exactly. Unless they are really crying for a toy i wont comfort them but i wouldnt yell either
Damn i wish my mom knew this. Everytime i cried she'll always say "there's no point of crying" or "don't be silly" those words has made a habit of me trying to act cool and apathetic even if deep inside im in emotional pain.
"ILL GIVE YOU A REAL REASON TO CRY YOU PIECE OF SHIT"
Wise words of my mother as she was about to beat the everliving crap out of me
My dads favorite: “ILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT”
This terrified me bc he used smacking as a punishment, but I was a *dumb* kid and didn’t understand that it was *only* a punishment. I assumed he really meant he was gonna hit me if I cried. I also never walked w my back to him, I always avoided being near him bc I assumed that’s all it took. He also got mad over the stupidest things lol, so I assumed pretty much existing was enough to earn a wackin’
This hit a little to close to home.
17:30 I completely agree. I remember being shamed as a toddler for not finishing my plate and then getting shamed for eating "too much" when I did finish and go back for seconds. Unless your kid's health is in danger, please just let them eat whatever amount they feel comfortable eating.
same here bro
Or just teach then to pick and eat the food till theyre satisfied and not just fill the plate with food and then expect the kid to eat everything
Teenager: *has legitimate angers and fears, and voices them*
Parents: It’S jUsT hOrMoNeS!
Okay DEBORAH, how bout I drop kick you off a building, and then tell you “Oh, it’s just gravity.”
Edit: Okay, y'all had some seriously messed up childhoods. I'm really sorry
I know I should be sad about this, so is it bad that I laughed at the last part?
Also sorry if I shouldn't have laughed.
No I'm gonna use this now. It's fantastic
Deborah, such a funny fucking name lmao
I have said similar things to my parents and it usually shuts them up about hormones. Adults just dont get it that kids and teenagers are humans too.
😂😂
“They still love you." Oh yes, because my sister who suffocated me when our mother was in the shower, my sister who always yelled that she hated me, the one that blamed me for everything (id like to mention that she was in her teens, seventeen, eighteen, maybe even nineteen while I was five at most), my sister who said she wished I died in the snow, the one who left & ran away & reached out ONCE to say she left because of me. (Its been five years since we've spoken to her). Yes, because *she* loves me.
My older sister was like that. She even tried stabbing me because i had a drivers permit and she didnt.
shit
i will admit, im the bad one
the older shitty sister
my reasoning shall not be an excuse but heres why
my mom treats me like absolute dog she but mentally
she would discourage me when she gives my sister the best of the best
forces me to do what she wants all the time and never listens to me
my sister also has my moms face so just by looking at her makes me feel rage
today im trying to fix my mistakes and comfort her
least i can do for being a bully
im sry your sisters are shit, hope things get better love
yeah same. but my younger sister is the bad one. and the favorite
@@plebthepebble3877 correction its not your mistakes its your mom's mistakes
My older brothers tell me to k!ll myself because I think they're jealous of me but my mental health is even worse then theirs
The worst part of this video is realizing your parents did almost every single one of these.
Relatable
Wait, I thought parents did all of the things mentioned...
Yes! Exactly monokuma!
I have ADHD and my parents have not done any of these. they are very carefull with makeing sure that i grow up happy. I play paino, uk, drums, and i have a dog.
Ace Aster yeah man,
My mom said "we'll see" a hell of a lot when I asked for stuff as a kid, but it didn't happen nearly as much with my little sister. Mom would also give in almost every time my sister threw a tantrum, it took until high school for that damage to finally be undone.
Ah yes, *torture,* a neat little parenting trick.
You want your child to be obedient just give them Stockholm syndrome
Pro tip: If you're too lazy to beat your children just padlock a shock collar to their neck.
Jameson Dymond
Oof
Well, thankfully, all physical harm toward children is illegal in Sweden. Still happens to some children. though.
Simon
What about telepathic harm?
*Cue man tapping head meme*
Telling your kids “don’t keep secrets from me” or “don’t lie” when the kid isn’t lying, it gives them a complex where they can’t even tell if their lying or not
And I don't trust you enough to give you my secrets. You haven't done ANYTHING to earn it. I try to let my family know as little as possible. I try my best to not even let her know my friends existence.
Honestly that first phrase scares me because it sounds like the parents are trying to pry into their kids’ privacy. The kids can talk to their parents about whatever they want, _whenever_ they want. It’s all about boundaries.
@@yeehaw_2987 exactly, like if someone accuses me of something, im gonna be scared even if i didn't do it!
Sometimes I didn't remember what I did in class in elementary school at a social level, like with the other kids or sometimes some detail of the lesson. Thinking about it now, I think my brai just erased some parts of the school day because I really hated my classmates, as they seemed to hate me, and the teachers were trash. So, my parents ask me a question, I don't remember and I say it clearly to them. They say that I'm creating an excuse for something and I really remember but don't want to say it. Probably it's for that I never say things to my parents because I'm afraid that they say it's stupid and don't believe me.
Yes exactly... and I thought i had bad memory so I couldn't remember it... god help
Telling your teenage son/daughter that their emotions/arguments are “just their hormones speaking” is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.
My mother does this and completely dismisses my feelings, just yesterday I was playing on the sims 3 and I had at least four hours of work (I’m doing a warrior cats challenge so I was building a camp) and along comes my mother who had tried to talk to me but I had headphones on and she could clearly see that so she gets pissed anyway and instead of tapping me on the shoulder she completely shuts down the computer I was using and made me lose HOURS of hard work so obviously I was extremely upset so when I told her just what she did and explained that it was the equivalent of me ripping her work stuff to shreds and she turns and says to me “well yours isn’t nearly as important because yours doesn’t pay the bills” yes maybe it might not be as important as your job but it was still extremely important to me and you dismissing me and saying it’s not important, really REALLY hurts me 😔
When I tried telling my mother I thought I had depression, she passed it off as “just hormones” (this was when I was around 13). It took me seven months to finally tell someone how I was feeling, and even longer to get a therapist and psychiatrist. It’s been a little over two years since then, and I still resent her for it. I don’t want to open up to her again in fear that she’ll tell me I’m being “too emotional” or something like that.
@@TheMushroomMan1229 I feel you. I told my mom while I was in high school that I thought I needed help and medication for my anxiety and she told me that anxiety wasn't real. Took me 6 more years to gather the courage and go to a doctor about it, and now I'm on incredibly high anxiety meds and still having stress nightmares. She now questions why I'm not open with her with my mental health and keep it all to myself (because looking back, I've had obvious signs of anxiety for well over 15 years but she just scolded me for being "shy").
@@TheMushroomMan1229 It's almost scary how much i can relate to this. Sorry this happened to you, your feelings matter and they are real and valid!♥♥♥
@@daisymay6505 Oh that sucks:( It matters, the things you are putting effort into matters. It's not less important. Your mom should have taken responsbility instead of blaming you:( (I don't want you to get mad and hold grudges but it was not ok and it was not your fault.) I hope you get your progress again if you choose to continue the challenge♥
The not keeping promises thing hit me like a truck. I distinctly remember this one instance from when I was twelve. Our unit test in math was coming up, and my grandma promised me that if I got an A on it, she would buy me any video game I wanted. I always struggled with math, but I was super determined to get that game so I busted my butt trying to study for it. I ended up getting the A, and I was really happy because I didn't think I would pull it off, but I was even happier because I knew I would get the game.
That saturday comes around, and my Mom, grandma, and I are out at Target and my grandma tells me to go grab a game. So I take a look at the shelves and I see that Deadpool, which had only come out a few months prior back in june, was on sale for 40 dollars. I had wanted that game since I saw the trailer for it, and I knew that I would save my grandma about 20 bucks. It was a total win-win. So I grab it and put it in the cart, we went to the checkout and the total came up to 70 dollars. My grandmother was taken aback and said "SEVENTY DOLLARS???" Before whipping around to look at me and saying "Do I look like I'm mad out of money to you?? Go and get a cheaper one."
I said "but Mamou, you said I could get any game I wanted, and this one is twenty dollars cheaper than usual". And she scowled at me and said "Well, I'm not spending that much on a glorified toy, put it back. You should've told me how much they were." I straight up busted out crying and ran off into the store. When my mom found me and basically dragged me back to the car, the both of them berated me and told me that "if that's how you're going to act when you don't get what you want, you're not getting anything!" As if me not getting what I wanted was the reason I was so upset.
In actuality, I was hurt because my grandmother and mother, through their actions, had basically told me this. "We'll only keep the promises we make to you if it is convenient for us to do so, and if you get upset because of it, then you're selfish and spoiled." They also completely ignored all the work I had put in to getting that A. The real kicker is that I came to find almost a decade later that the reason my grandmother had said no is because she and my grandfather had recently had to get the water heater replaced, so they were a bit short on funds. And I was honestly so pissed, because had my grandma just said "I'm so sorry, kiddo, I should've asked you how much games usually are before promising you I'd buy you one. I can't do it right now because we have a bill to pay, but I promise you that as soon as I'm able, I will buy you one." I would've understood and accepted it. But no, I was a child, and adults didn't owe me explanations. And then they tell me that I'm so humble and polite for not asking them for things, and it's like, I can't trust that you'll actually do it so why fucking bother?
I hear you. My mom didnt know how how to discipline as a parent so she'd make false promises all the time. The worst part is that she had selective memory so she'd immediately forget. When i brought it up, she'd always accuse me of being greedy, whiney, and sometimes a liar.
In the same vein, she'll make a promise that if i do good in school, she'll reward me and never followed through or she'll try to talk me into something REALLY cheap just to statisfy me. Whenever i complained, it always turned into a discussion that i was being ungrateful and whatnot.
My grades plummeted and whatnot and STILL got yelled at for it. What's the point in trying if I dont see the point in it? Can never trust the woman to do anything unless it directly benefited her.
My family: "You always stay in your room. You should hang out with us, we're your family, you have to be close to us because we're all we got."
Me: *Gets out of my room to hang out with family*
My family: *Insults and belittles me for everything*
Me: *Goes back to my room to avoid shit.*
Yeah, that's mostly why I don't leave my room either.
This annoys me so much. They always say I spend to much time in my room but then basically tell me my feelings and stresses are nothing despite the fact that in September I have the second biggest exams of my post primary education with reduced preparation due to COVID and no one knowing what’s going to happen
Aaaaaand that’s why 90 percent of my life is spent in my room and my bed is set up as a fortress... As a young adult... Cause even staying in my room that door has no lock and the door can be slammed open at any moment... If anyone ever has kids, make sure they at the very least can feel safe in their room. Without a safe space to hide, it’s an eternal overload of anxiety and fear. Every single sound makes you jump, heck you can’t even sleep in your own bed. Because if your room is vulnerable, your bed is vulnerable. And if your bed where you’re sleeping is vulnerable, YOU are vulnerable.
My family does the same thing to me and so do my friends and my friends parents. Now i am depressed and feel like a failure bc i messed up on thing :')
I live with my mother since my parents broke up. Don’t have a good relationship with either. But even though she is one person, once I get out of my room like she told me to, she’ll either start yelling at whoever called her on the phone (because, of course she brings work situations at home), not oay attention to me, or argue about anything and infuriate me in seconds
"Seemingly harmless tricks"
"My parents adopted a kitten, and later said I killed it even though it was actually returned to the owner"
Even if it didn't quite fit, I think it needs to be said and heard. There are plenty of ducking idiots out there that can't put 2 n 2 together even if it is as obvious as the topic of your comment.
Or giving pets to 2 year olds and expecting them to care fir it on their own. No offense but children’s pet are the mainly the parent’s responsibility. If they’re die or suffer it’s the parents’s fault
@@yucol5661 exactly, and giving animals to children is a horrible idea in general. toddlers younger than 5 usually haven‘t learnt empathy yet and will torment the poor animal without a second thought. it only makes sense to me if the parents own a large animal, like some farm animals or big dogs, and gently guide the children and supervise whenever a child is near the animal.
BRUH HAVING THE GUILT OF KILLING SOMEONE YOU LOVED WHEN YOU HAVENT EVEN DONE THAT, IS SUPER BAD FOR UR MENTAL HEALTH THOSE PARENTS WHERE EVIL
My father drown my cat in front of me..
All of them. All of them do. You don’t need “tricks” to parent. Just be a nice person and respect them
I respect you my friend.
*this*
Gosh I hope people learn from this
what you are saying is pointless, in my opinion being a parent is like being a driver, you cant be expected to drive a car without training or be a good parent without some guidance. And most people are not decent or nice.
If you adopt a kid. Don't hold it against them. Just because you took them in does not mean you get to expect them to love and cherish you like a god while you treat them like shit.
My dad always asked me if I loved, still loved, or would always love him, even if he wasn't my blood. It took a long time for me to realize I spent years telling him I loved him and he never meant it or made any means to say it back with intent. I realized that assuring him that I loved him felt more like a chore I had to do to make him happy. It took 16 years for me to walk away from him. I lost my dad, my sister, and my distant brother after I got kicked out.
(Basically in short. My dad mentally and physically abused my family. He molested my sibling, brainwashed/traumatized my sister, and made my mom feel trapped in the relationship for almost a dozen years. I walked away after months of me asking him to change his issues, and his responses were to beat his fist on the table and scream in my face and call me horrid.) He kicked me out because I screamed back, (that punching a table 6 inches from a child while screaming at them is still as scary as physically hurting them.) He thought it "didn't count as abuse" if he wasn't actually touching me.
We had a physical brawl in the hall, and I fled to the nearest gas station till my mom could pick me up.
Teach your children about emotions and learn that a tantrum isn't necessarily just a tantrum. For as long as I can remember, I've gotten incredibly frustrated when I couldn't do something and I would always be met with teasing or my family avoiding me to "let me calm down". It's left me with a crippling fear of failure and perfectionism. It also taught me that I shouldn't be sharing my emotions and it's shameful to bring them up. 3 years into therapy and I've only just begun to put a dent in the damage done.
Omg, the similar thing happened to me. Whenever I talk to mom about something and I would say the opposite response she would always say "Oh you are just saying the opposite of me" And when I say no I'm not she always say "See you're doing it" This made me feel like I have to agree on everyone's opinion and I was bullied because I was so annoying by agreeing on everything. This stop once I had friends and started to have my own opinions on things and developed a habit of cursing more than necessary. It's unbelievably frustrating she still doing this too, even though I'm an adult and am not allowed to have different views from her. And when I go to my room she would yell "Lord give me patience" Like having different opinions than her it's making her temper rise.
My parents did this and ignored my molestation from the neighbor,but these days I have sort of gotten back with them so at least I have that.
Meh. People in these comments and in that subreddit are sensitive af. Emotions are useless. We need to be adults not crybabies
@@notforgotten3685 Jesus
@@notforgotten3685 you don't need to be here??
“Hands and feet tied on a child size wicker chair and I was gagged then placed in an empty bedroom while my folks pretend to leave the apartment” that sounds like torture
it actually is, being bound and isolated is standard enhanced interrogation technique.
That _is_ torture
Child abuse
That is abuse.
I cant process what i just heard
That if someone is bullying a kid of the opposite gender, they automatically have a crush on them.
People do this bullshit and then wonder why kids can’t pinpoint an abusive relationship.
Edit: I’m gonna elaborate better. A bullied kid goes up to an adult and is like “someone’s bullying me” and the adult says “if they’re bullying you they probably just have a crush on you” The kid is still getting bullied, and now has the false idea that the bully likes them which would completely ruin their relationships in the long run as the kid would think that abuse they’re getting is love
"No mom, stabbing someone with a pencil is *not* a sign of childhood love."
Also “boys will be boys” or “girls are just that way”. No. Just so much so. I remember being in therapy as a kid and this boy kept stamping on my feet and I tried to tell my parents and they said “oh he’s just being a boy, he probably likes you” as I’m on the verge of treats. It made me feel helpless and unprotected and made me not go to them with problems for many years.
Seriously, HOW DID THAT CONCLUSION EVEN COME TO EXIST?!?! I mean the first time that concept even happened it might be true but how would it have spread as “common knowledge” to everyone?
Exactly! I got my shirt ripped and hair pulled, told my mom about it and she said some bullshit like boys will be boys and that it's tough love. What really hurt is that my father is abusive so she probably just got used to that idea of love
In my native language (Finnish) there's a common saying that roughly translates into "The horse kicks out of love, too", and it's said in a teasing tone when a child complains that someone of the opposite gender is bullying them. I had adults say this to me many times when I was a kid, about a boy who bullied me for YEARS.
And I mean like, what??? I'm not an expert on horses, but I'm pretty sure they don't kick those they love. It's just a bs excuse that's used because people are too lazy to do anything about bullying.
I can relate to the "feelings aren't valid" and the "treating crying as if its something weak people do." I remember getting yelled at every time I cried, then I grew to be indifferent during my teens with my dad wondering why I was robotic around him.
"Mother know best" or "elders know best"
That phrase is incorrect
This can lead some one into depending on other people such and not them selves
If this were true then even seniors who are older then you’re parents that have dementia are smarter because there “older”
I always knew thing my age did not when i was between 7-13 And it pissed me off. They were telling their kid to feed the cat milk. When i said "Sorry but milk is actually poison to cats and can result death" The yelled at me "Im OlDeR ThAn YoU sTuPiD kId!" The cat ended up in the vet's clinic and we lost the cat. Their response was "Hes Too young to know!" Dude, Oyu teached him that.
Thank god that if my dad or mom said something wrong (even my grandma), other members in my family can say that it's wrong and tell the reason why.
Bruh, my mom used the lines of Disney villains in order to teach me lessons, I always knew something about that was wrong, because of that, she lost all respect and appreciation from me, I saw her as the villain from then on, even if she might've not been, since I lost all respect for her, the only way she could still have that tight of a grip on me and such control was with fear and guilt, she always talked about how we would leave her all alone and how she wont leave us shit if we leave "too early" which was 21 years old and below, which only made us want to get away faster. Parents that do this are only dooming themselves to die alone, unmourned and unloved
Literally me till a year ago
I have my own: stopping a relationship with ur child all because they're being hormonal. That's what my parents did when I was going through puberty. Sure, it was really hard to interact with me because I would be mad about the smallest things. But my parents didnt try to help me or comfort me. They just stopped trying to pursue a relationship with me. And that hurt even worse for me. I might not be a mom yet, but heres my advise to all parents: sometimes, the kid going through puberty wont want u to be there, but when they do calm down, love them, care for them, and make sure they know u love them. Thank u
In other words, remember your kids will eventually grow up when you're considering having them.
You have a very good point.
My daughter is 13. She flat out said “I love you but hate everyone at the same time.”
“That’s ok. I still love you.”
*BOOM!* Teen validated _and_ reminded she’s loved.
I do have deeper conversations if needed. That’s just what she needed at that moment.
I was a chaotic, insane, violent teen. Started out slightly rebellious at 13 and just exploded at 14. “Perfect” child + hormones = wtf just happened.
Dad disappeared and bought me things sometimes. Mom just yelled. Didn’t turn out well, and I swore I wasn’t going to continue the cycle... so I didn’t.
"Do as I say, not as I do" teaches children that hypocrisy and double standards are normal and an okay thing to do.
Exactly
Oh yeah. My parents will blast really loud Netflix shows or movies that are packed full of swears, like full blast, and then get all pissy with me when a TH-cam video I'm watching has a few f-words. I'd be more okay with that if they wore headphones, but you can hear their shows and movies all around the house, it's that loud, and they're big blockbuster fans who will watch at least one movie every weekday
I can hear my grandpa's voice reading that
My mum says that as a joke lol
@@mageyplss THANK YOU
I had my dad being overly critical, always getting on my face about any single little thing he felt I did wrong, even something as small as accidentally pushing a glass while eating.
And my mom was overprotective and always tried to do things for me just so I wouldn't make mistakes.
As you can guess, both did a terrible number on my self-esteem.
Was your mom mean? Like would she criticize you or anything? I totally agree that being overprotective is bad but if your mom didn’t have any bad intentions it’s fair to not hold resentment, in my view anyways. My mom can be like that but she never means any harm, she’s usually trying to help. When I tell her she understands and I can see she really tries to let go a bit.
Oof, the saying “sorry” or “I was wrong” one hit me. My mom and I use to fight a lot because she was controlling and I had depression so I lashed out. She would guilt trip me and then say nothing to me until I apologized to her first. After that, she would cry and say that she’s sorry for making me upset... never for what she did. She still does this but I’ve realized I can’t change what her shitty parents taught her, but I can change my attitude for future kids.
This made me realise my mum does the same thing, but she promises to get better. It’s been 13 fucking years, can you maybe make good on that promise?
Literally my life too, still living with it. She's been trying but honestly, it's still rooted in her.
My Mom says her mom would even close herself in her bedroom and cry loudly to make my Mom feel bad. this stuff....smh
Both my parents are like this especially my dad, super controlling and never apologized for mentally and at one point physically abusive (still mentally) and also he used to egg on my older sis until she struck back then played victim to get her sent to juvie now he's doing the same to me
mom does the same here
"If you keep crying like that I'll give you a reason to cry"
And now I bottle up my feelings and collapse in on myself like a dying star almost daily
I've been doing this since kindergarten
thats really messed up, that simile just really hit me
I do this R E L I G O U S L Y
Oh, god, this is too close to home.
Story time: My mom was having a manic episode (She has Manic Bipolar Disorder, Manic Depression and Anxiety) so she was screaming at me, I don't remember why, I think she wanted me to clean the living room. But yeah, she sent me headfirst into one of the worst panic attacks I can remember (I'm Autistic and loud noises, especially screaming or yelling is a huge over stimulating no-no) She got even angrier and threatened to give me a real reason to cry, which of course made me cry _even harder_
same..
On the topic of “letting them win,” I’ve heard some people online saying “let them win, but not every time. If they always win, they’ll never learn, but if they always lose, they’ll never try.” It makes sense.
letting*
@@WTCR459 thank you! I’ll fix it right away!
This honestly makes sense. If they always win they never learn, but if they always lose they never try. Makes sense bro
Oh crap. That makes a lot of sense. Utilizing balance at its finest!
aaaa that makes sense! i never even thought of that loll
My little brother gets told to "stop bothering people" or that hes "being annoying". I explained to my dad and his mother how this hurts him and they still do it. Me and my brother can quite literally have a conversation about feeling worthless and as though everything we do upsets someone, no matter how hard we try- all while finishing each others thoughts. He's 8.
Never tell a child “You shouldn’t feel that way.” When they have serious emotions. In my personal experience with this, I told my mom I wanted to kill my brother (homicidal feelings) because of my brother’s bullying. I needed help but didn’t get it. Punish your children equally. For example, my brother pointed a possibly loaded gun at me, pretended to choke me (hands on throat too), constantly scared me because I am jumpy, manipulated me into showing my bare chest when I was 7, whenever I fought back he would yell at me and tell me I was over-reacting, manipulated me to give him 60 US dollars of my own money,called me a faggot three times, dead-names me constantly, called me a whore when I was 7, uses the wrong pronouns, told me to die everyday, hit me multiple times, and made fun of my interests. I have pushed him away after words didn’t work, told him I wished he was never born after he was messing with me, and once I threw a clock at him. I was sent to my room as punishment for all of these. His “punishment” was being watched in the living room so he didn’t tell me to die once. All the other times they gave him a warning or nothing happened. “Well once when you were a year-old you tackled him,” thanks mom. That erases all my trauma and I should now say sorry for something I did over a decade ago. Don’t bring up your childhood when your child points out what is wrong with their childhood even it was bad. The parent is now making themself the center of attention and ignoring the child’s issues. Never blame your child for something like trust issues. Don’t deny your child therapy if you can afford it. If your child says they are suicidal, homicidal or not mentally well let them go to counseling, therapy, or any other mental health service. Do not tell your child to toughen up in any way. Children are still human. Treat them that way.
Wow. Thank you for sharing your story! I'm glad you are doing better now!
This was amazing
Your brother sounds like a future felon.
What the fuck is wrong with your family...
Wait... so your brother pointed a gun at you, manipulated you to show your bare chest when you were 7, called you a faggot & a whore, AND told you to die every day?
What the fuck is wrong with him...
1. Being strict is the worst
"I was just protecting him/her"
Yeah congratulations, now you have a child who lies to you 24/7 and doesn't feel comfortable talking to you
2. NEVER compare him or her with another kid. "He does this, he does that, his parents must be proud....."
It really fs up their childhood because it makes them feel like they were never good enough for their parents
Damn, your stories here makes my childhood look like a dream...
Facts
Be more like your younger sister hurts, not just because they said it, but because they're younger
Boom_Shakalaka 2625
If you are being compared to another child, then compare your parents to others.
@@Creeper_123 my parents: Is that disrespect I smell?
I have a friend, and I think her mom is just horrible. She is very strict, and when I'm there she always compares my friend with me, and being like: 'Oh you don't do that, do you cool kid' or 'You always get good grades right?' That's why I never really want to go there anymore.. I think it's really sad for my friend, luckily she has a sweet dad, so that helps a lot.
Me: *gets first A on a test and tells dad all happy*
Dad: “You’re supposed to get an A”
Just say good job, two words that don’t cost you anything and keeps the child with that feeling of success and wanting to chase that feeling.
Doing what you are supposed to do is doing a good job, especially when you gave the chance to just... not do it, I don’t even understand why I don’t deserve to be praised...
This happens a lot. Especially when you're considered a smart kid, my mom used to say that it would be ok for me to get a B and below if I was stupid, but "I'm not" I'm always expected to be the best, and i just sit there wondering, staring at my B+ and trying to see what was wrong with it that made my mom so angry, when was it decided that I was smart? I dont remember being consulted for this? Who decided this? Is it so bad to be "stupid" ?? I spent a lot of time after that wishing I was dumb, so I didnt have to live up to anything, even trying to hit my head hard enough so I'd stop being smart, my little 10 year old self couldn't handle being the one that everyone expected to be the best. I once got a D on a test in 3rd grade and I broke down crying and was scared to go home and face my mom, and in 2nd grade and I didnt get one of those little award things they give out and was scared to go home because I felt my mom would hate me for it. To this day, I still kinda wish It hadn't been me who was chose to be the smart one, now everything is expected from. But now I feel proud of myself every time I fail something because eit remind sme that I am human and that it's ok. I'm not supposed to get an A, I can, but I dont have to, and neither does anyone else
What’s also damaging is being told you’re supposed to be smarter than everyone else. I got through high school at the top of my game, but as soon as university came, I was in for a world of hurt being on an equal playing field. Shit like that makes you feel uncomfortable asking for help because you believe you’re failing your parents for not being smart enough.
I'll say it; good job, I'm proud of you for doing well on hour test, and for every other success you've had in your life :)
This one time I got 100's on two quizzes i thought I failed and decided to show my mom because I was really proud and her exact response was "cool, can I throw these out now?"
She barely even looked at them, too. :/
Edit: it was so weird because whenever I get good grades on something she always tells me "good job", so I was expecting her to do the same that time, but..
My father was a relentless bully. I hated being around him because he'd mock me to tears, and physically assault me if I ever defended myself.
One time he kicked me so hard in the backside that I was knocked to the ground while out shopping in town. I got up and walked across town to my grandma's house and told her the situation.
She called my parents and then all three of them sat and berated me for what felt like hours, telling me how I was selfish and was trying to make them look bad, and to think what damage I could do to the whole family if I ever told anyone the 'lies' that I'd told my grandma, and "what if the police had found you before we did??!"
"Constantly pushing an intelligent or self motivated child to work harder and harder and do better" as an immigrant kid, i always felt like there was no escape for this. Especially when ur constantly reminded that you have to fight for a place here in the US, more so than others..
same. ffs if only it could stop, 6 years of arguing but nothing works
I'm an immigrant from Uzbekistan. I was born there, lived in Russia for 2 years, and emigrated to the U.S.
It definitely feels like there’s no escape for an immigrant kid- I was always told “you have to work twice as hard just to be considered equal to others just because of where you’re from”. Which went hand in hand with never feeling good enough.
Not an immigrant kid since I was born in Italy but my whole family(besides my lil bro since he was born here too) is since they were born in Ukraine. I can relate to that, in Italy, the best vote you can get is 10, I usually get votes like 9-10 but when I get 8 she already gets upset, like wtf mom, I have alot of good grades but you concentrate on the 8? It's not even a bad vote, sometimes it happens even when I get a 9 smh
I immigrated from China to the US when I was five, then went back for two years when I was eleven. Thank you for saying this. I wholeheartedly agree. My parents reminded me that this was a place of opportunity, but as an immigrant, others have more opportunity to me. I was pushed to my limits, and my mental health degraded. When I was in sixth grade, they started making me learn chemistry, physics, and biology, as well as honors english and algebra 2, and countless other extracurricular activities. Arguing makes it worse, and it makes me sad that this is reality for immigrants.
When parents say “Why don’t you come home?” or “I miss seeing you” etc. and when you do come home they interact with you minimally and both of you sit in separate rooms on your phones
ok boomer
This is so true, granted I'm only 15 but still. My parents always get upset that I’m in my room all the time and tell me I need to spend more time with them or tell me I’m always on my phone, so when I do go to spend time with them I leave my phone in my room and go to spend time with them, but then they’re either on their phone or watching tv and won’t talk to me at all so I’ll suggest we play a game together and they say we will and never do but then apologize or say they feel bad they never spend any time with me but whenever I try I’m just ignored. (also sorry for bad punctuation I'm still struggling with learning how to punctuate properly.)
Your parents let you out?
Yeah I went through that I wish my parents would just ask me to be home when they want and make the most of that time instead of letting me leave whenever and then saying they miss me
"why are you crying"
"I'll give you a reason to cry"
"go clean, its not like you actually study or have good grades"
"stop acting like a child"
"your the older one"
"just do it, your siblings are younger than you"
"you want to start working instead of going to school"
"I'll send you to the police if your grades get worse"
for these reasons i grew bad habits such as
not being able express my feelings easily, i can't say i love you to my family cuz i feel like i'm weak
i stopped trying to get good grades, i wasn't stupid but it just seemed like they didn't care, i had honour classes but they didnt tell me they were proud, they just said "nice, what are your grades"
There are a lot of mirrors here but this one takes the cake.
My mom: Go study child!
Me *ALREADY* studying: *why?*
@@actuallyanimatics2938 when my parents ask me to do things I’m already doing it makes me not want to do it.
The "You're the oldest" hit me hard
"ill give you a reason to cry" is one of the most stupidest fucking things to say to a child, and the fact that parents say that really pisses me off. Mine and many friends' included.
Im 16 now and am raised by my sister and her husband. My sister told me that questions like "how are you feeling?" Have a correct answer, and that answer is always "fine" or "ok". Most of the time her heart is in the right place, but all she has done with this is make me afraid to talk about my problems. One time my doctor asked me how i was feeling. I was grounded at the time, so i start venting to the doctor, and my sister mumbles under her breath at me to get me to stop. After we left, my sister yelled at me for what i did and told me basically "no one cares that you feel this way. They wont help you." And grounded me for longer. Sometimes she is one of those parents with a "nice" face around others but a "mean" face towards her children when no one else is around. She made me feel this way, and i wont talk to her about it because i feel like i will get in trouble because im not allowed to talk about my problems around others
"Just because they're young, doesn't mean they won't remember."
Yes, my parents believed this. Apparently its okay for a 6'1 grown man to throw a tiny 7 year old down onto a bed forcefully for god knows what, scream at her, and threaten to tear apart your favorite stuffed animal because you took of the tag on the couch, or lock her in her own bedroom while standing there, preventing her from coming out, and then refuse to acknowledge that she has depression, and make fun of her anxiety.
And apparently its okay to kick your two children out of the house, (one of then being 7,) threaten a child to hit them with a wooden spoon until it breaks, beat them for being too afraid of being touched, and cry because your firstborn has developed tics from anxiety that YOU have put into my heart. Treat your child like a human being, not like a dog that has peed on the your laptop.
Not even a dog should be treated that way!
You too, huh?
Dude this happended at our house to me all the time, even out teachers would beat us with a wooden ruler until it broke and we were never able to complain about it.
you deserve better
I feel like I’m commenting on a lot of these, but that “beat them for being too afraid of being touched” hit hard. My mom used to threaten me with violence a lot, and she would hit me, albeit not often( it was usually just verbal abuse ). So of course, I began to flinch whenever she moved suddenly near me. If she was yelling at me and cornered me per usual, and then moved slightly I’d flinch thinking she’d beat me. If she walked past me too quickly, I’d flinch. If she suddenly started yelling at me, I’d flinch. Every time I flinched, my mother would say “if you flinch one more time, I’ll give you a reason to.” What a psychopath. I actually ran from her terrified, refusing to let her near me because she was yelling at me and approaching me with a pizza cutter in hand. She thought I was being ridiculous, and seemed to think it was funny, but I was genuinely terrified and viewed it as a weapon that she could and would use to hurt me.
at dinner table:
Kid: eats food
Parent: "eat salad"
K: eats salad:
P: Why dont you eat food?
K: eats both:
P: dont eat so fast its dangerous
K:eats slower
P: aren't you hungry?
K:eats at normal sreed
P: why dont you talk with us? dont you like talking with your family?
K: talks about his day
P: dont talk, eat! oh my god i cant with this kid!
that makes kids think they are always doing smthing wrong and it makes the anxiety in their head grow huge.
My parents do the same
ikr. my dad yelled at me for using my silver wear wrong. he said "Even retated people know how to"
@@justanomorifan3059 wtf
true
@@justanomorifan3059 parents think that "even idiots do that better" encourages you, but in fact, they make you feel worthless
“Oh, is that your boyfriend?”
“Are you talking about him so much because you love him?”
“Are you sure he is just a friend?”
And that’s why I’m gay.
Luna Reign are a girl or a guy?
Owen Dutkiewicz Luna is a girls name if Im not wrong but idk
I hate when people say this to me
@@redacted5078 They may like the name?
same tho
The "big kids don’t cry/crying is weak" really messed me up and i am still messed up because not only do i bottle up my emotions but i also think i have depression and have since 2020 but i only recently told my parents and asked if we could get me actually diagnosed or if i was just being dramatic.
Don’t tell your kids that. It’s complete and utter bullshit.
The worst thing ever is when they reply to your questions with: "Because I said so,"
Like I'm not a child, I have the right to understand what's going on. You can't treat me like an adult one second and treat me like a kid the next. It's just insulting and hurtful
Even as a kid it hurts so much
Thie stuff shouldn't even be said to kids, or said in general. Kids have a right to know what's going on as well, and half the time they don't even know what they did wrong. "Because I said so." Is lazy, shitty parenting. Sit down, have a talk with your kid about what they've done, and tell them how to correct it so that they can learn from the situation instead of bullshitting with "because I said so." Honestly, "because I said so" is just some dumbass excuse parents use when they don't want to admit they're wrong majority of the time. It's displayal of the fact that they don't have any other reason present, and are too scared to let their pride fall.
It's so annoying when they do that. When they want you to do something for them Apperently your old enough like taking care of your little cousin but at as soon as you want answers for something . I dont know shit about the real world and I'm a child that needs to stop getting into grown folks business and start acting my age like wtf?!?
My dad said never to listen to people who say because I said so,so my mom now uses “Because I’m the adult”
@@cozycottage5069 Honestly, it's the same thing. It still doesn't provide good reason as to why she's told you to do something. I wish you luck with her.
So, my dad says "sorry is just a word it doesn’t mean anything" and that basically shows children that if you’re mean or something on accident saying the only word to maybe make it better doesn’t mean anything. I got very mad at my dad and yelled at him, then said sorry. He said something stupid then I said "I said I'm sorry!!!" And he immediately thought of it as rude. These words can make children believe that making things better between people is useless, making them a rude person and getting in lots of arguments.
Once my dad called me a crybaby, when I was crying. I felt horrible. I just cried more. So, I think saying "sToP cRyIng1!1!1!1!" Is actually really hurtful to children, making them bottle up emotions to you.
My mom said if I went in my room and slammed my door again, she would break it down. Not only did that make me worried about my privacy, I just stopped having alone time. My alone time, was locking my room door and hiding under the covers. I didn’t wanna have my door broken down so I stopped having alone time.
That’s it for now.
Also, the one from "fridgepotato" I can agree with very strongly.
Dude if you’re still in that, seriously take time for yourself if you can. Not doing so actually can worsen any conditions you might have.
Random Man okay thank you :)
I can relate to the ‘sorry is just a word and doesn’t mean anything’ it’s pretty harmful because I either end up over-apologizing or bottling up things. Don’t get me wrong my parents are good parents and I love them but I wish they wouldn’t have said those things sometimes :/
we share the same problems.
i am a Catt cool! Well- not rlly cool but that’s cool we have something in common I guess-
Telling a kid "oh boys just are like that" when the kid is being severely bullied and beaten up in school
My Mom did that when I was sexually harassed. I've been sexually harassed 3 times. I was in 3rd - 4th grade. Each time my mother told me to get over it and that they were just bullies. I'm still traumatized and my mom doesn't care. She just yells at me.
@@insertusernamehere3173 I'm sorry, that's horrible. even if they were "just bullies" she should have done something to protect you
@@Nadaismus it's ok!
@@insertusernamehere3173 that brings back memories 😖
Just last year (eighth grade) there was this one kid who would constantly try to impress me and get into the things I liked. It was weird though. He'd look into it, say he absolutely loved it, then a few days later trash talk it to my face.
Anyway, when that didn't work he turned to harassment. Constantly kicking and hitting me or running his hands along my thighs and whispering sexual things in my ear.
I remember telling my mother and that's what she said; that boys will be boys.
Luckily it never went too far since a friend of mine was usually there to stop him. There was also a time I hit him where the sun doesn't shine with a book.
Sorry if it seemed like I was trying to make this about me. It just seemed like an appropriate time to share.
I truly am sorry that you had to go through that though! At such a young age as well.
@@oraclewolfe5570 That is terrible! I hope he got in trouble at some point! And don't worry, I'm glad you told your story!
this really makes me appreciate how much of an awesome mom mine is. she's never told me to quiet down while singing during the day (at night its understandable. people are sleeping. i can be quite loud) and supports my every move for my own future, as long as its not harmful to me or others. she's a stay-at-home mom who has a lot of health issues, but the worst things that have happened to me, i did myself (stepping into pool, despite not knowing how to swim, running in the road, despite being told not to, and nearly getting hit, etc.) she taught me how to take care of myself, and treat others with respect without being mean.
"How DARE YOU, with EVERYTHING WE DO FOR YOU !"
It's not because you saved a hundred people, that when you murder someone, you'll be excused.
Plus, it makes the child feel extremely guilty for being unhappy about anything
That's not healthy
Amen. Children dont owe shit to parents like these
My mom does this a lot
Merrygames
Somewhat similar:
My mother once told me that she’d sit me down and tell me everything she’s gone though to prove my life wasn’t that bad and what I was going through was pretty insignificant. (Not her exact words but it’s how I processed it.) It made me scared to tell her anything I was dealing with because it’s wasn’t that bad. Granted any time she sees me upset she won’t let me leave the room until I talk about it, so I don’t know what she wants from me. I love my mom, she’s a great mom and I get why she want’s me to talk about what’s happening because she wants to help, but sometimes I don’t want to talk about it. (I’m still in high school, I doubt she want’s to hear all that drama and I don’t want to tell her every time one of my iffy friends annoys me.)
Punishing kids for not trying their best when it actually is their best
This one hits too close to home, i feel like i could crumble any minute
I hate that, in middle school i was grounded for 3 months because i had a F in math even tho i was trying my hardest to get the grade back up. I get it if you arent trying but if you can see your child is trying dont ground them. Its not fair and ive never heard a parent say a reason for it that actually makes sense.
@@baygurl3168 i have a crap grade in math rn and i have anxiety everytime i talk to my dad or when we are in the same room because i dont want him talking to me about it im trying my best tbh
Kid: Mommy! Mommy! Look at what I made for you for Mother's Day! It took me a whole day so I hope you like it!
Mom: Ugh! What is this? This is so hideous! You call this a gift? This belongs in the trash. Why didn't you make it better?
Kid: I'm sorry... I tried my best.
Mom: *throws it in trash can* You better be sorry! Your best isn't good enough. Either be better or be a failure.
Yep. I’m currently in the HONORS COLLEGE and I still get regularly lectured about how I’m going to flunk of of college if I’m not focused on schoolwork… then they wonder why my self esteem is shit
"Are you calling me a liar?" gained me several slaps from both my parents, because my answer, when they were lying was always "yes".
Maybe I was more assertive than most children, but I still remember not allowing bs to fly by.
Parents who beat their kids deserve a brutal ass whooping.
“Are you saying I’m stupid?” and “Are you telling me I can’t remember correctly?”. Yes dad, you’re a fucking moron sometimes. Yes dad, you can’t remember everything perfectly. This feels good to vent out, I’m normally much more polite when telling my parents they’re stubborn idiots who don’t like being wrong.
Why would they ask you a question, then get mad when you answer it?! That’s just ridiculous! I’m so sorry you went through that.
I'm the same way, it might be bc we where raised on Eminem and Harry Potter
My grandma tried to gaslight me and my siblings about a cruss word so use to say a lot to us (She would cruss at us in spanish and didn't think that maybe the youngest wouldn't repeat it.)
4 against one but she was willing to 100% died on that hill.
I have loving parents that I know only mean the best for me, but I do feel the pressure of being a “gifted” student. Also past childhood events have made me into not the most confiding person, having a large extended family I’d see a lot meant that there wasn’t much time for any of the younger kids and having a great grandmother who wasn’t the best at dealing with children (she came from a time where what we would now call abuse was just “disciplining”. Also one of her daughters, my grand aunt, recently lost her husband in an accident and has been having a mental breakdown, and I’ve been doing my best to console her and tell her that her emotions are justified while my grandmother acts either ignorant or tells her otherwise. She’s a nice great grandmother, but not a great mother, and seems to have been clinging too hard onto bad parenting), and since my parents had a lot to deal with it often made me feel like I didn’t have much value. Now they don’t live as close to us so we don’t see them as much, but trauma doesn’t go away just because the source does and it’s left me in not a good place. I’ve often lied that, “I’m ok” “I’m fine” “I’m working on it” “it’s done” etc. because I don’t feel confident in telling the truth to them because I have an imprinted irrational fear that I’m going to be in a lot of trouble for opening up. I know they only want the best for me, but having all of this, ADHD, probably OCD, and high school and all the shit that brings, I often find myself putting stuff off and not getting it done, and having stuff just keep chasing me. Im very concerned for myself about it. And to reiterate, my parents do genuinely love me and care for me and my younger brother. I just have a lot of self reenforced trauma that I’m going to need a long time to begin to undo.
me too
Kid and parent: Arguing
Kid: makes a valid point
Parent: StOp TaLKiNG bAcK Go tO YoUR RoOM
*(5 years later the kid is like 14)*
The parent: Why dont you talk to us??
I felt that in a personal level
@@iicravedeath7658 damn...
this is why if this ever happens to me I’ll record it if I can so if my parents ever ask I’ll just play the recording and they’ll be like “ooohhh right”
but being realistic they’ll probs say “well you were talking back” or “well I was in the right anyways”
*ya know, just to be a piece of shit.*
parents are telling us to stop being childinsh, but they are the childish ones...:(
This is what happens to me!!
Parent: you’re so fat, fast.
Years later:
Parent: ~screaming at kid and hitting the kid~ WHY DONT YOU EAT?!!!!
Also parents:
Parent: I DONT WANT YOUR HELP CLEANING! stop. STOPP!
Parent: YOU NEVER CLEAN I AM NOT YOUR SLAVE
Parent: Your voice sounds so horrible. Stop singing!
Parent years later: UGH come on! Why don’t you ever sing and dance with me? YOU’RE SO LAZY!
Edit: why is your comment so relatable
When your child is upset and says they dont want a hug, *do not force a hug on them. Please.*
*this though seriously*
This bullshit is what caused me to absolutely hate being touched by anyone
Seriously whenever I was upset because of my mom she would just tell me to give her a hug like that would just make me forget everything. No it did not and now i don't want to give anyone hugs because it just feels forced
TurtleFace and this is why I have a weird thing about hugs. Despise them and only give them when I feel like I should or if someone really needs one
That's kinda like kicking someone in the face and then making them clean your boots
This happened to me twice i think. First time was when i was like, 8. My dad spanked me and i went to my room (i was crying) and he wanted to be friends again. Second time was about school and after they had made me feel stupid for trying my best and watched me stand there crying they tried to hug me even when i told them i didn't want a hug. I really hated that because i just wanted to cry alone. I love my parents and we are good. I just feel sometimes like they dont understand whats going through my mind and i suck at explaining
being told "i'm your parent, not your friend" is such a bad thing to hear, especially when the only thing you want at that time is a good/normal relationship with your parents ..
Yeah, I got that once with my mom. At first, I rationalized it as her saying she won't let me just do anything that I want, but, you know, I was the nerd and "teacher's pet" at school, so I didn't have but one or two friends (and later on, didn't have any). That's not something you wanna hear when everyone else seems to either dislike you or want to use you and you just want someone to talk to, but you remember that line. It's isolating and really makes you feel like you can't trust your parents half the time.
Edit: Don't get me wrong. My mom is a great mom, and she's never done...ANY of the abuse stuff in that vid. Still, she does, on occasion does things that make me realize that she's human and is flawed in quite a few ways.
alexanderrr i’m grateful to have a wonderful mother who has always been my friend but this can be especially damaging when you’re going through a time of depression because of bullying all you need during that time is a friend and for your own parents to tell you that they’re not your friend can really damage a person mental health i’ve witnessed this happen with one of my friends from fifth grade who tried to kill herself because she was going through depression and she hadn’t really spoken to her parents about it when one day they got into an argument and her mom told her that she wasn’t her friend that she was her mother and I think that was the day she realized that she should just not say anything about how she’s going through depression or how she’s being bullied or anything like that
Sorciechan I get what you’re saying but it’s really sad when you hear something upsetting from someone and you tried to dismiss it pretending like it means something else when in reality you know exactly what they meant I feel like a great mother would not say that to her children
Or being told you're not equal to them
SAMEEE MY DAD ALSO SAYS I DIDNT ASK FOR UR OPION WHEN I TRY TO COMMENT OR SPEAK MY MIND (another way he says it is if I wanted ur opinion I’d give it to u which makes me not want to speak my mind or be independent in life, so sad my dad)
my mother was extremely toxic when i was young, she punished us in extremely brutal punishments. one of her favorites was having us strip down naked and stand out on the porch for 10 minutes. we lived in the suburbs. i would see many people stopping and staring at me. now im terrified of changing or even wearing shorts infront of people.
btw she doesn’t do this anymore , she has been getting alot better and the only punishment she does now is grounding us and sometimes whooping us!
- edit: added the second bit as a sorta update
WTF??? Nahhhh that's beyond disguu
That's not just toxic, that is flipping illegal 💀
Your mom is severely messed up in the head
Pretty sure that's illegal.
@@nopcshere6097 probably is, but she's changed. She only yells at us now! (And occasionally fights my brother)
Every time the kid does something "embarrassing" or even just makes a mistake anyone could make, the parent tells everyone and finds it hilarious. This taught me that if I need help or have to ask a question, don't. I'll wind up getting made fun of for anything. This also ties into oversharing things about your kids to other people as a conversation topic. Some things should stay private and the child doesn't want their life broadcasted at someone's party to give the parent attention. I hope everyone who went through this can recover from it
When I was in middle school I was groomed online by a much older guy. When my mom found out about it she was livid at me and the fallout was pretty bad. When things had calmed down a bit I tearfully asked her if she was going to tell anyone about this because I was embarrassed and didn't want it getting around, I grew up in a tight knit community so if one person knew everyone did. She told me of course she wouldn't because it would reflect badly on her as a parent. I believed her that she wouldn't tell anyone. Then a few months later one of my mom's best friends was driving me, her kid, and some of our friends somewhere and she casually brought the whole grooming thing up in the middle of a conversation in front of all my friends. I was mortified, I cried as soon as I got out of the car. That really made me realize that I can't trust my mom with keeping things to herself, even when she says she won't tell anyone.
@@maeish9471 i feel awful knowing this happened to you
I still suffer from it until today. Whenever I had problems and poured it onto her, lo and behold the neighbors already knows. It's such a shitty example of teaching the child that they can never trust you to keep their secrets.
THIS.
I AM LITERALLY SO TIRED OF MY MOM OVER SHARING INFORMATION WHEN I'M *LITERALLY RIGHT THERE*
I FEEL SO ASHAMED AND EMBARASSED THAT I DON'T EVEN END UP TALKING ANYMORE
Ikr, like do not tell your friends (who i do not even know) about what happened when i was 7 or something. Why you gotta make fun of A Child in-front of so many strangers and laugh about it?
I leaves every time the adults talk, I don’t wanna hear them talk about me. They ask why I’m so quiet and disrespectful when they are talking to guests about me and why i am mad. Like why do you think?
"I'll give you a reason to cry"
Yea this is why I don't like you, DAD.
Oh boy, where have I heard this from?
Not parents, but choir teacher said this. I had a huge fear of singing in front of an audience, and I didn’t think it was that big until it got to the point when I’d be crying nearly everyday from lessons (up to the point where competitions, which we were required to attend, were finished, but sometimes still occurred outside of this). After I began tearing up after having to sing a section of a music piece one day, he told me this in front of the whole class, and I can’t explain just how much fear washed over me other than with the word “fright.” I understand my huge fear and crying must’ve frustrated him, but I really wished he would’ve done something other than demand (I don’t want to over exaggerate but that’s what it felt like to me) I control my fear. To this day, when I think of music in general, he pops into my mind.
Even if I’m terrible at singing, I’ll still do it. Not for him, but for my happiness. I’m working on my confidence. He still haunts me to this day though. I don’t usually comment or reply on videos, but your comment just brought this strong memory up. I don’t believe what your dad said was right. You’re amazing no matter what he says.
I remembered so much more during this video.
This is why i cant cry anymore bc my dad keeps saying ill give you a reason to cry but the reason is your yelling at me and im smaller and i have nothing to defend my self. I cried to much and felt to numb to cry anymore
HAD ME AT DAD
My mom was homophobic, my brother’s gay, I’m pan, and she saw my wallpaper: Gay Pride. She said if I was gay, she’d break my legs. I’d already had a major surgery on one and didn’t want to ruin it. I completely closed off to her after that; things like changing my password every week, watching my back, and telling all of this to my friends at school. If you’re unsure if your kid’s gay, don’t say stuff like that. It just hurts them when they’re already afraid of you finding out.
That’s awful, you can do whatever you want to do, your mom shouldn’t make you be someone’s you don’t want to be.
@@alanabavli9290 I didn't want to be thrown out of my house. I knew my brother or grandma would take me in, but I didn't want to take my chances or put all of that pressure on them. My brother wasn't doing too well mentally (he had been through a rough breakup) and I didn't want to stress him out.
3LL107 III I totally get it, just offering some future advice.
Princess Zelda Thanks, most people need to know this sort of thing because of helicopter parents.
Tell that to my Dad. He's gonna sign me up for adoption and drop me from the family name if I even turn out bisexual. And I'm not exaggerating, my Dad's half completely ignored a second cousin of mine ever since he came out. I found out he existed 4 months ago. He's in his 30s.
Physical "discipline." Sure, it's legal, but that doesn't mean it is effective or that it's okay. Being pushed up against a wall for something minor or having 180 pounds thrown on you because you're having a breakdown doesn't do anything but give you anger issues, or in my case even *worse* anger issues, PTSD, anxiety, and teaches you to be fearful of your "parent." Parents, please, don't do so much as lay a finger on your child unless they seriously mess up.