This is textbook family systems at work. The Family was emotionally dysfunctional, enmeshed and deeply narcissistic. Paris' parents treated her very poorly they wanted to make her into their little doll, a perfect princess. She was their little debutant. She had a great burden placed on her at very early age. She didn't get to just be a little girl. She had to carry the pride, name, and reputation of the family. Her parents were very invasive and controlling. When she pushed back she became the family scapegoat and her sister was made the chosen child. She seems to be in denial about her anger at her parents. She did experience horrible treatment at the school she was forced to attend but has never been completely honest about her feelings. The anger and rejection she feels will continue to haunt her as long as she insists on shifting the blame onto the school where she was abused instead of placing the blame where it belongs, on her parents who abandoned and rejected her in many ways. Her mother is still unaccepting and condescending. Her love for her daughter looks artificial and conditional. Her mother appears to be very narcissistic and unapologetic. She feels justified in her treatment of Paris. She only thinks of herself and how Paris makes her look and the impact it's had on her reputation. She never apologizes and only feigns remorse and sympathy for Paris because the cameras are rolling. She was probably not very warm or loving to Paris as a child unless Paris was fawning over mommy and making her mother look good. Her excessive need for attention, fame, and wealth can clearly be traced to her insecurity and feelings of inadequacy and shame from the abuse and neglect she experienced growing up a Hilton. Her sister still treats her as a problem and acts superior and arrogant just like her mother. She has no one in the family who loves her unconditionally. Her mother has turned her sister against her picking favorites and causing competition and tension between them. Paris clearly suffers from cptsd and shows signs or narcissism herself. I feel sorry for the little who never got to be a carefree child. A girl who was never allowed climb tress, get mud on her feet and catch frogs. She was never allowed to be herself and as a result how she feels about herself at her core is unworthy and inadequate. She is an attractive woman and was a very beautiful young lady. She likes the attention and admiration her beauty garners but feels empty like something is lacking in her life. She appears to have both high and low self esteem simultaneously. She may unconsciously wonder if she is worthy of unconditional love and belonging. Can people love her for who she is, not just her fame wealth and physical beauty. Her moods and self esteem fluctuate and may be dependent upon her success and the admiration of others. Do you think she uses money and success as a love substitute? Do you think she secretly struggles with imposter syndrome?
Michael Jensen I wonder if Paris’s mother came from humble beginnings and didn’t feel like she fit in with her husband’s family and friends. If so, Paris’s interests in not being a debutant and dressing down might shame her. Paris’s mother became pregnant as a teenager - intensely hard for a Catholic girl especially at that time - and might subconsciously blame Paris for that. Then Paris’s acting out would bring back the shame all over again. It’s like she is trying to control her past through Paris. I feel for that situation, but *nothing* excuses sending a child to that school. Kidnapping in the middle of the night? Red. Flag. Sorry, I’m not buying it. Mama knew.
@@michaeljensen4650 thats a good essay michael the face her mother pulls is one of snide hatred i always figured Parris was just an over pampered shit but turns out she more like me than i know Jesus i slipped up there am normally on top of this stuff still kidding myself it didnt happen to me lmfao ill fix it if i keep tracking at it i mean we scapegoats are trained to miss shit like when her mother puts her hand down its not to fainne sadness it to hold back from giggling she thinks her daughter is a fucking idiot she hates them she despises them them being people the look on parris face is fear and concern she's a kind hearted sweet girl i mis judged this is why am not a payed judge lol
For being a party girl for a few years and bring bad gossip on the family and possibly the family business. These kind of dynasties have to be careful with public image, and they tell this their kids too, so they have to behave. And they couldn't control her, that's why they just send her away. Really sad and shitty parenting imo
I do not like the sister one little bit. She should have stuck up for her that is what a loving sister should do. No sympathy just coldness , makes me shudder. If I was Paris I would have nothing at all to do with her. Bye bye.
Yup mom's a total narcissist and a thundering bitch. Her father, a coward. Her sister a bitch and cold as ice. I hope she cuts them off and finds a decent person and creates her own family, if that's what would make her happy ♡♡♡♡
You probably don't know what you are talking about. Privilege pp. like her especially when she was a teen she was hell on wheels. Disrespecting ppl. etc. etc. Have you ever dealt with teens who think they can do anything without having to be respectful of anyone or anything?
Totally! That part where her sister says “did you ever apologize to our parents” pissed me off sooo bad! I was sent away to one of these schools too, hello! What parent doesn’t see a red flag 🚩 when your kid keeps trying to run away? What parent doesn’t see that kidnapping your child is obviously a BAD Idea?! Total NARCISSISTS 😡
I was a foster child and sent to a wilderness camp, Pathway Inc in Enterprise Alabama at the age of 13. I had to live, sleep and work in handcuffs and shackles. I was there 32 years ago and this place is still in business. I've been telling my story for 10 years to anyone that is willing to listen. FINALLY, with the help of Paris Hilton and the public's awareness, we have a real chance to protect children.
So sorry you were subjected to this sick disgusting evil that lurks in the depths of the darkness of this world. You and all the children didn’t deserve this those People should be executed who did that to you guys. Use your pain and turn it into something great shit maybe sell Your story even cause that’s the least they owe u is a ton of money and u deserve that, to have your voices heard and to see justice and have answers to this bs!!!! You’re strong beautiful and worthy all of us are and you deserve all the great things in this world please remember that ❤ god is with us
I’ve always had a soft spot for Paris & Britney and celebrities like them. Abuse doesn’t discriminate, it can happen to anyone, wealth doesn’t protect you. It’s clear Paris’ hurt lies deep within her upbringing. I feel your analysis is spot on. It would do so much for her if her mother would simply offer a genuine apology and if her sister would stop blaming her.
If I were the sister I'd be flipping the papers for my sister not my mother! It's so clear there was emotional abuse and neglect there throughout their childhood. I'm sure that sister learned her coldness from the mother. It's really sad to see parents do this. Stomach churning stuff.
I could care less Most everyday people I know have gone through much worse. They can't afford a psychiatrist or the time off to get the help they need...that's who I feel sorry for.
When the sister said “have you ever even apologized to mom and dad??” that’s all she needed to say to see what kind of family this is. Completely narcissistic. Paris is the scapegoat and has never felt any genuine love and acceptance. And when you have a whole family like that you are the bad guy and until she breaks free she will never be truly happy. She will always have that role in the family. It’s so sad for people that grow up in this family dynamic. It’s not even their fault and it’s such manipulation. They have so much to deal with as adults.
Walked away from a rich narcissistic family at 30. Left a home that was bought for me But came with conditions. Picked up my two little girls and moved away to find myself. Worked hard and bought my own home. Omg I want to hug her. She just wants to scream and cry. I feel so sad for Paris. Gives me a different perspective on her.
The mother didn't even apologize nor did she say "I love you" back to Paris when Paris said it first.😰 I think her mom is the type that it is all about her 😰
all she said was 'i'm proud of you.' i just found the whole exchange really disheartening. she was on jenny mccarthys radio show, who i don't really like but i respect that she straight up asked paris did your mom ever say i'm sorry or anything? paris said that her mother was shocked during the filming and kind of overwhelmed with being on camera and finding out and such. she later did say sorry and that she had no idea and she was so sorry. not sure if she's trying to excuse her mothers behavior and cover for her or her mother really was just in shock or a bit of both.
Her sister is wretched! Paris isn’t greedy and when Paris said she hadn’t had a vacation and her sister snapped at her “because you’re greedy” she totally invalidated what Paris was trying to say which is that her work brings her peace and a sense of purpose and vacationing would be an almost uncomfortable concept. Her mother was smirking behind that hand of pretend regret...wow if Paris has an awakening to the horrors of those people it will be crushing for her. Probably liberating too though.
Thirston Howell The Bird and Friends! I think she knows to an extent? But yeah, if she ever completely becomes aware it will crush her. I feel badly for her. Money doesn’t mean you have a good upbringing. Doesn’t mean you have loving parents, family. I think it makes life, to an extent, easier. But without love what’s the point?
@@thirstonhowellthebird Even sibilings tend to still display conditioned, callous responses to the proclamations of hardened individuals, because it takes much to both countenance and counter the motives for their callousness, even if they're fundamentally blameless.
I found her to be sincere, raw and open. I see her with a different lens now. Somehow before, she seemed insincere and I never took her seriously. This has changed that perception for me.
Abusers will always say that they abuse you for your own good, that they are trying to save you or help you. "save you from yourself" I dont approve of Paris behavior like clubbing at young age but there is lots to uncover here. The abuse at school is disasstrous. I really feel bad for Paris Hilton.
Exactly. And your disapproval of her clubbing young is, I’m sure, for everyone. Not only her. It’s bad for everyone to do that and when they do it’s often due to bad home life like with her. I feel so badly that I hated on her in the past. In my defence I was young and impressionable.
@@teresahowick5197 I also hated on her I thought she was spoiled and shallow. I have misjudged her. There is lots of very complex psychology in her. Poor girl, I really hope she will love on.
When I was watching that part of the documentary, where her mother put her hand in front of her face, I had the immediate impression of someone hiding from the camera. To me it looked like she was covering up her thoughts and expression, rather than crying, she was shielding herself from what Paris was saying.
Her hand was actually shaking. She and her husband were extremely negligent in sending their child away to be abused by thugs.This began with her being kidnapped by two men in front of them.They were actually crying, and should have put a stop to what was happening immediately.
@@loralieisa @12:45 I went back to look, and she takes a bit to adjust her hand against her face, but it isn't shaking that I can tell. And she isn't crying, before or after covering her face.
@@arielkmusic You are right I went to take another look. However in the documentary comments someone else made a remark about her hand shaking.This version minus a shaking hand is different for whatever reason.If She was only concerned about image this unearthing did not help.
I have started to test this theory I have that the core trauma of neglect often manifests in people becoming hyper active on social media- as if the neglected baby in them needs that constant 'gaze' to let them know they exist.
Wow! I had a friend who had a need to be the center of attention. I couldn’t figure out why? Being the center of attention is a curse, in my life anyway. Thank you for this explanation! And, how devastatingly heartbreaking.
@@puppylove2493 she doesn't NEED to be seen as one if she doesn't want to, but yeah i watched the long-form one and there are definitely many deep thoughts inside her head and anybody seeing it is gonna be + 1 to your comment. (i hope she gets to keep DJing because that seemed to be when she was the happiest, helps to tear DOWN those "troubled teen" things, and maybe eventually finds a SO who's good with the whole "you're paris hilton, even if i've got mine you're probably gonna be a bigger NAME" thing. i seriously wanted to stab at least two of her exes.)
yeah she is one of the best ive seen and Im in the field sort of. big fan of Carnes, B Brown and the mighty Lundy Bancroft. I consider this woman right up there with them. then on top of that there are other YT content creators who are great too and they all offer counseling as well. very important
I was a teenager when she became famous. I always knew growing up that Paris was putting on an act to make herself seem ditsy, self obsessed and that wasn’t her real voice. It use to upset me as a young woman that she was trying to make herself more appealing and it worked. Very confusing for a young woman. Watching this has been therapeutic in a way and I am proud of her for telling her story. Trauma can effect anyone. I wish I could tell Paris that she is enough and she is loved and valued. ❤️
She had to create the false image to survive. Now I understand that, I have so much more compassion & understanding for her. I liked her before. I loved the show she was in with her BFF where they were on the farm. I haven’t watched the documentary yet but I can’t wait to watch it. This is a different side. I can relate as many of us can to the scapegoat role in the family. I think this will make her more relatable to people. She’s speaking out about abuse & it’s so important & brave!
@The Girl with Kaleidoscope Eyes it's worth watching but you might tear up some and you will also probably want to slap at least two of her exes upside their heads. (also, one of MY main reactions was "oh, so you got a retail face/persona like a lot of the rest of us you just got paid more for it and spent so long AS it you have trouble telling that from ACTUAL you? VALID".)
Omg the sister really has the mothers view of paris, i couldn't imagine in my wildest dreams that my parents would have me kidnapped😢 then to be abused during it all and after my mum NEVER apologises, its so so sad. This video has completely threw me as i didnt watch the documentary as i have her totally stereotyped as rich attention seeking brat, nit someone i could take seriously. Your breakdown on this has been excellent, so im glad ive seen this and will now watch it and remind myself to never judge a book by its cover 😊
Dude that was normal back then. Actually some schools still do it, but they usually take u to a school in the carribean. Look at the documentary kidnapped for christ, the last stop ( about the Elan school scandal ) the Élan school shut down in 2011)
Ugh, this makes me want to wrap Paris in a huge hug and just have a cry sesh with her. She needs genuine people in her life that support and understand her. It seems like throughout her life she’s been not accepted and this is the only way she feels like she gets “love”, but it’s not real love. I think deep down she’s a down to earth person who just wants what everyone in this world so desperately craves- love and acceptance. It really breaks my heart :(
I could care less Most everyday people I know have gone through much worse. They can't afford a psychiatrist or the time off to get the help they need...that's who I feel sorry for.
Jessica Petersen you’re entitled to that opinion, I just think we need a little more compassion for people. She can’t control what traumatized her as a child and we all know what happens to us as kids affects us later on down the line. I do agree she has access to therapy and other mental health recourses that most people don’t, but it doesn’t negate what she’s been through. I can imagine if I were her, I would struggle with my identity and pressure from being in the spotlight as a kid. We all need a little more empathy in this world 🌎
@@ivy_swain5003 amen! Society as a whole is so quick to judge, when none of us have walked in her shoes. If she was a friend, would anyone say, "poor you, too bad. Go to therapy." No, she is still a human being and deserves compassion. I'm with you 100%!! The world would be a much nicer place if we all treated people with dignity, compassion, and love! ❤
@@AshalindsYT I get having more sympathy for people whove had it worse or cant access help easily, if at all. But I dont get not having zero even for someone with Paris' privilege. Everyone has issues. Having access to help doesnt even guarantee it will be sought or work either. Just look at celeb suicides.
It is interesting how her eyes escapes every time she or someone talks about boarding school. It is like her emotions are too big to contain. I feel sorry for her.
Thanks for doing this one Zoe. I also thought her Mum was crying, until she looked up and the first thing out of her mouth wasn't concern for her daughter, but a statement that really said "well that's awful, but you know it wasn't our fault right". It's just occurred to her that this isn't going to make her look good and that's her primary concern. Paris is still carrying the dysfunction for the whole family. I wanted to jump through the screen and hug her myself. My heart broke for her when she said the survivors meeting made her remember who she had been before that happened. It seems that when you live out a lie, then that lie develops a life of its own and becomes a type of trauma in and of itself.
Why didn't we talk about how her father filming her meant that he was giving her attention and how she could have equated that to love and how that would have led to "The Simple Life" and even her being filmed by her ex boyfriend?
Yup I agree. Because we get used to how we grow up. Even if dysfunctional. It’s a security blanket. It’s what she knew. I don’t think she ever liked it per se
This abuse seems the same, over all families, no matter the status. Thanks for this fair examination. I have to admit, when I saw it was about Paris Hilton, I had to check my own prejudices. Maybe the stakes are greater in such high profile families. Thanks so much Live Abuse Free. You are fab!!
Some wealthy families are incredibly controlling and abusive. Sometimes personality disorders are quite effective in the business world and making money. The same things that drive people to achieve high wealth and status can also make them abusive in family relationships.
I don’t think her mother absorbed this. I don’t think she acknowledges anything happened that she should apologize for. Also, this is a “not perfect” situation and cameras are on. Of course her mom didn’t respond emotionally!
The way her sister is acting when she says the parents tried to protect them from Paris...she looks so satisfied, like she knows the pain what she is saying will afflict...or maybe she is brainwashed as hell and believes the audience will sympathize with her because Paris was so "naughty" so she's really hamming it up and the way that other sister across from Paris looks at her...like she's waiting for paris' reaction. It really is disturbing.
@Octavia My family is like that too, the non-scapegoated "golden child" toes the family line, parroting all their bs to ensure they keep getting what passes for parental love. I think for some people, they're fine with piling on all the abuse as long as their dysfunctional privilege is maintained. My sister is the Nicky Hilton character, blech. :(
OMG yes! That was hard to watch. Doesn't matter how 'naughty' a child is, having it be kidnapped should never be the way to go. That goes against all motherly instincts. I really wanted to give her a hug in that scene
Even the mom saying “if we had known about this...” “I didn’t know...” still rubs me the wrong way, it’s like “it’s *your* fault, the fact *you* didn’t tell me is the reason I didn’t help, *you* could’ve avoided it, but *you* didn’t”
Totally sick! I could never watch my daughter terrified and snatched up in the middle of the night. I can’t believe they even have the nerve to admit they allowed her to be kidnapped. To not shed a tear? To not be totally destroyed at the thought of people abusing your own child is horrible. Her mom is vile and evil.
My younger sister was the scapegoat and I was the 'golden child.' I consciously did no wrong to try and get my narcissistic alcoholic mother's approval. I didn't really get it and was still criticized ruthlessly by my mother unless she was comparing me to my younger sister - "why can't you be more like her." I think it's the same dynamic for Paris and her sister. The mother is the root of the dysfunction.
Hmmm camera in her face all the time. Having to act like everything is fine all of the time. Why does this sound so familiar?? EVERY FAMILY CHANNEL ON TH-cam??
That was my first thought, Paris's dad was ahead of his time you could argue shoving a camera in front of her face. Now the majority of people do it to their kids to post on social media on the daily. I think it's disgusting and obviously causes deep psychological harm
I feel like the sister is jealous of her.shes no better because she use to party and do drugs with her too,plenty of pics out there if her looking thrashed.
Right?! At least Paris recognizes her naughty past behaviour. It wasn’t bad I don’t think. It was not smart and it was troublesome but it didn’t make her bad. She was a brat for awhile which is kind of common at those ages. Paris has grown. And is trying to work on herself. Her sister? Not so much.
@@teresahowick5197 she was being bullied according to her (i tend to believe that), a LOT of kids in the 13-17 age range are brats (raises hand) it's just how that manifests that differs, her so-called family isn't much of one imo (frankly her clubbing buds came across more friendly in like 10 seconds than her LEGAL family did in pretty much all of that time), and she's pretty clearly opening up/working on the "you're only as messed up as your secrets" stuff. so yeah, grown-ass lady trying to work on her shit.
Sitting here wishing that Paris stumbles across this video so that she can finally feel that someone sees her and knows how misunderstood she is. How sad that documentary is!
This was such a compassionate and thorough analysis of the documentary. I appreciate how you breakdown tiny details and explain the elements of abuse, control, trauma, and narcissism. I am realizing a lot about my own life experience through your videos. Some things resonate as my normal which I never knew were a coping mechanism.
I hope Paris finds her way to freedom through insight and understanding of self and other. The damage her family handed to her is tangible and her role in the family mirror ps that of her aunt Kim, both were created to be the family scapegoat. Paris, if you read this...you are enough. You are good enough. The 12 year old in you needs you to hold her, soothe her and protect her. I wish you joy, peace and love.
They were always trying to protect us and shield us Us being not Paris. Her sister is as cold as her mother. I like Paris. I hope she reaches her goal and gets to chill and finds peace. Always welcome for tea and hob nobs
I know, unbelievable how like her mum the sister is. Not like Paris was a physical threat in any way. I pray she makes her goal too, she deserves it. But im sure she will find peace wheb the attitude of her mother is present in her siblings as well. So sad
@@sharonlee4622 She deserves a billion dollars? I have to respectfully disagree, and the fact that it is what you are putting your prayers toward is disturbing. I don't think anyone deserves to have hundreds of millions of dollars more than they can even spend while so many others in this country are struggling to put food on the table for their children and cannot afford health care. Please pray for those people. Paris does not need more millions of dollars.
@@dorothy6361 my apologies, i actually didnt give that perspective any thought when i commented. I was only thinking that she has convinced herself its the only way for her to find freedom. I hate to think of her feeling that way. Of course i pray for others not fortunate, but just because she has what seems everything doesn't mean she doesnt deserve prayers. But i do get it. I just dont see her ever facing her real problem...the mother!! So instead she is chasing this other way out. I find that heartbreaking. But you are correct, its silly when loads are struggling.
Dorothy agreed. Clearly money isn’t helping her. Maybe she should shift her focus and donate her earnings to those in need. Maybe it would even help her at the same time to heal.
Wow, I really feel my heart and attitude towards Paris soften after watching this. I didn’t even know how much I have been judging her. You never know what someone has been through and how they have been conditioned. This feels like the first real glimpse of what she has been through.
That was a really cold and weird thing to say about your daughter’s memory of being abused. Very telling of her personality that she would say that so flippantly.
Crazy to realize how abusive/narcissistic even her sister is towards her. Definitely does seem like she is jealous. It's sad that she can't trust her family
I am my family's scapegoat...totally get her. I'm 66 and no matter what I do, I'm still the pathetic piece of trash. Im the most successful of all my sibs, yet....
It's the narc parent that did that to you. I was the scapegoat too. Usually, it's the child in the family that calls out the BS. It's the narc parent projecting. It's NOT YOU.
@@treesart6914 wow your situation is so familiar. You are a high achiever getting a PhD and it makes it obvious you can never change the way they deal with you. Nothing you could do would make any difference. The concern is awfully phoney and the scrutiny and judgement is veiled criticism. I
@@treesart6914 not accurate in my case. We females get abandoned too. I wasn't taught survival skills or supported. Basically I had to figure everything out and do it on my own and no accomplishment or maturation would ever register. It was especially the case with me, my mother and my sister. My mother actually came around due to some trauma, the death of my father and shifting alliances, but my sister doubled down. It's absurd to be judged when like you, I went to uni, went overseas, worked as a professional and she did none of those things. She told me the family home would be sold when my mother died assuming i would expect to live there. It really sounds a lot like your case. I have zero tolerance for any kind of spoilt golden child now! Still working on the side effects.
Trees & Art omg this friggin resonated SO HARD with me. Is it scapegoat? I dunno but this is me! I am almost 39, I have little faith in myself. Even though I’m happily (mostly 😂) married, 3 kids, got a BA whilst raising 2 of them during sleepless nights (looking back I have no idea how I did that). I think it’s from my dad in the past. I remember one specific time where I got a B on something in grade 1. He said “you could do better”. Ok well I was proud! Other stuff too but I think I’ve blocked it out. NOW he’s got faith in me and encourages me. That’s great but it’s hard to undo years of not. It’s hard. I feel you. Like on one level you damn well know you’re accomplished! On another level you don’t think you are, right? I totally have imposter syndrome. Sucks.
Trees & Art thx :). My dad did that too. Was tough. My mom was really affected. She finally left him after 25 years married. My dad is remarried and acts like he was a prince. His stupid wife acts like that too. No acknowledgement that there was a life before her and when we get annoyed there might be a valid reason for it. He’s 79 now. I don’t argue anymore because no point. And he has somewhat mellowed. But still. The trauma is there, right? I’m starting to finally work thru it with help now.
23:18 I agree with this point so much! When paris was getting her sunglasses I didn't think she was being dramatic at all, I felt like she was insistent on having them because perhaps they gave her security or comfort. and later on in the doc. she said she needs sunglasses with every outfit. I also think being told "you're too dramatic" can be dismissive of someone's feelings
Thank you for posting this, I always thought that Paris was an attention seeking diva to put it bluntly, that’s how she was portrayed in the media, but after watching your video, I can see there’s so many levels to her! I now feel empathy towards her and some understanding, although I am aware that I don’t know her personally. It’s made me reflecting my own parenting techniques, I would hate for my children to feel the way that Paris has felt according to this video!
I kept waiting for the mother to say she was sorry. And then the sister asked if SHE had apologized to their parents. Im so glad you talked about this and saw the same things I saw.
I just watched Paris' documentary last week, and the first thing I thought was "I hope Zoe covers this!". This was wonderful, and makes me want to give Paris a hug even more.
The way you described Paris and how she protects herself by becoming self reliant and not trusting others really hit home for me. It’s like I was hearing a description of myself and I bawled my eyes out through the video. The way you describe people’s stories is so astute and detailed.. I feel like you really nail it with their situations. I’ve only seen a few of your videos but you’ve taught me so much already.
She really needs to get out of the hamster wheel and live. You don't need a billion dollars to be free. Those interventionist programmes that are emotionally and physically abusive should not be legal. Her mother is COLD. I can't even imagine being a parent and shutting down your child's personality and joy.
that’s her security blanket to not be dependent on her family’s money since she cannot trust them and to feel in control of her life we average people perceive it as a ridiculous amount but she’s accustomed to a very different lifestyle it seems that if she wouldn’t have the means to support herself that she’d probably spiral out of control, mentally being sent back to when she wasn’t in control of her life, when her parents and the staff in the camps controlled her life
I'm so glad you called out the parents here. I watched the Seattle psychologist and as great as he was, I was so blown away that he didn't talk about these parents and them just wanting to keep their reputations up. I was wondering if you were going to be doing a Paris video. ❤️
I thought it was odd that he expressed doubt that Paris was telling the truth about the abuse at the Utah treatment center even though others who were there corroborated her story. The rest of his analysis was good though.
AllsWell L he has a TH-cam series called ‘Psychology in Seattle’. You can find the video on him reacting to the ‘This is Paris’ documentary here on TH-cam. Separately he also has a podcast of the same name.
cat's pajamas oh! I watched all his parts on it I don’t know how I missed that! Like I just remember him being supportive but I do tend to be doing things while listening.
Her sister makes everything sound like it was HER who really suffered. As the oldest of four, my job is always to provide a buffer between my siblings and parents- so strange to always scold them!
Parents who let their children be ake kidnapped into a school while they were watching should just go to prison for life. Even if the school itself would be unicorns and rainbows, I can't imagine what that experience would do to a child, honestly. Awful, despicable people.
I am 64 yrs old...I see myself in Paris. I was severely physically and emotionally abused as a child (also wealthy parents... they had high and impossible expectations of me). No matter what I did, my mother never felt it was good enough and she constantly compared me to my siblings, who she adored. As an adult I chose abusive partners; constantly reliving my childhood. It took me 60 yrs of various therapists and soul searching to finally realize how my childhood played a part in my adult life and my choices. I am undergoing EMDR therapy, having been diagnosed with PTSD due to the abuse. I hope Paris is able to truly make change. I have chosen to be alone...I am at times lonely, but I do feel more like " me" now. I finally (almost) feel safe.
Yes me too - and Zoe is a master at conveying the deep substance with a kind of laser light for those in the dark of unknowing with her sense of empathy and understanding of narcissism and also like she never blames the victims like so many professionels do - sadly. Zoe surely is a true gift to victims of abuse and narcissism - I just wish she could also lecture for the professionels in the field...
The way you break down her sister’s label of P being a ‘drama queen’ really made me rethink so many things, so many people in my life and why they do (why I do) so many things. Wowzers...
I am so proud of the people who watch this channel and leave such kind words about Paris. I hope she sees this and I hope she finds out she's not alone.
As someone who has never been a fan of or interested in Paris, I watched the documentary out of curiosity and I found it very tragic. I felt really sorry for her and I hope she has been able to take some time off this year to reflect on the important things in her life. I definitely think her mother is very cold and should certainly apologise to her. I also hope her sister stops being so impatient and terse with her. They all just seem annoyed with her and you can tell it's very painful.
I really valued your insight into this doc. When I watched it I was struck by so many relatable issues. None of which involve money or status. A few things stood out to me, like you said, the most pivotal moment was that scene where Paris has the opportunity to confront her mother about what she suffered. She knows going into this that her mother will never say I am sorry in a genuine way. She knows her mother will never hold her with the true warmth and comfort of genuine love and compassion, yet she needs this moment. Maybe to reinforce her righteous anger towards her mother (and dad) for doing this to her and never giving it a second thought or validating her abuse. That hand over the mother's face, to me seems so typical as an embarrassed body language. It isn't to hide tears, there are none. She is ashamed this is coming to light to the public. Yet again, Paris is "casting the family in bad light", by exposing the mother's decision to have her forcibly removed from all she knew and into the hands of abusive strangers. Sometimes, when we grow up with cold, abusive, narcs...there are some people who act as beacons of light and love to us. I feel like this was Paris' grandmother. I do not feel like the grandmother was purposely trying to make Paris into something she wasn't with her comments on her beauty or comparing her to other starlets. I feel like it was just a grandma saying nice things to her grand daughter, because she loved her and found her beautiful. But, when you are surrounded by coldness, and people who expect you to put on an act in order to be "loved", the kinder people's words stick inside you as comfort. I feel like these comparisons her grandma made about her to other starlets was a positive experience for her, and it stuck. She felt a real love and warmth from her grandma. She built her whole life on that(becoming the starlet), trying to replicate those positive associations to a happier time spent with grandma, into her current existence to cover up the pain of her trauma. (just my opinion of course!). Lots of people have such hate and disgust and what I think is a jealousy towards Paris. I feel like people hate her because they could sense it was all a façade. People are envious of people with money, which I can't understand because whether you have a nickel or a million, anyone can suffer trauma. I understood clearly her need to keep hustling and making money. She states it clearly, she never wanted to have to depend on anyone again, especially her parents. Also, when you stop hustling, or being a workaholic, or whatever form of running away from your trauma you choose...you are left in the room with yourself. You start hearing the voices of your traumas. You have to start facing them head on. You are alone in this journey. It is a terrifying place to be. It is much easier to keep go go going in life and never slow down long enough to get to know yourself away from all the people pleasing masks that have helped you cope for so long. I wish her and anyone else who has suffered like this, true healing. There will come a day when it isn't a record player skipping and repeating all your abuse in your head. There will come a day when you have less night terrors. Less distracting intrusions of flashbacks into your daily life. Your trauma then becomes more like a memory instead of a monkey on your back, constantly a part of everything you do. The internet has changed so much in this world. One positive is that kids may find healing in your thoughtful and informative videos. They won't have to go a lifetime thinking they are alone anymore. Thank you for all you do here. You have helped me over the years. I appreciate your work. -m.
Years ago, I heard Dr Phil talking about Paris' excellent work ethics. I believed him, now I understand so much better. Love and hugs from South Africa xxx
She isn’t fully facing the consequences of her mother’s actions, to her own life. She is keeping a safe distance from the truth, because she knows, of she faces it, it will change everything. Her relationship with her entire family, extended family, sister, will be revealed to be the paper thin, conditional relationships that they actually are. She will be scapegoated, blamed and rejected for telling the truth, and she isn’t ready to face this truth. Many people struggle with this, and never heal, as a result of their fear of rejection. But what they don’t realize, is that it is addition by subtraction. These people were never reliable, would never be there, in the trenches, during the hard times, and never will be. Scapegoating is a massive rejection. It’s already a foregone conclusion, facing it allows a person to finally move forward. Without people holding them back, blood or no blood. You are better off alone, than you ever are with a family like this. Just my opinion.
@Adam Smith I do. I was early commenting and at that point 3/4th of the comments were indicating Paris was spoiled and superficial. I indeed realised that I was judging that. But I think I put it very mildly and politely, saying I was not impressed. Namaste brother. I hope you realise you pointing this out keeps us in that same blame circle as well? 😅
I think her mam n dad new what Paris was going through, to show her this is what can happen if you don't do as we ask of you. Up to this point in the video i don't see any genuineness coming from her mother
I watched this documentary and feel so much empathy for Paris. Her mother set her up for a miserable life and still seems she just wants her to shut up about the abuse and fake happy. It’s tragic. My wish for Paris is that she heals from this, becomes her true self, and finds peace.
I hate when people assume that she did the documentary ONLY for clout. Omfg, even rich and famous people have to talk about their problems. And since when do only poor people want to help others?!?! Whatever.
@Dexy Nash i have never heard of such a thing before thats all. As a parent you automatically think of your own and it just shocks you. Yeah send them to boarding school, lots if rich do it but with a kidnapping cmon, it defies logic. Its still a platform to highlight trauma and i think its a shame some view it as personal gain. She doesnt need the spotlight, its never off her. I found this insightful and educational for myself as i had her down as stereotypical rich it girl and its good for people to be reminded to nit judge a book by its cover.
I think that she was the eldest child that there is so much expectation. Like Paris I too was born to a mother that was 19. My mother was someone who shouldn’t had children and did anyway. She didn’t have patience and was not very nurturing.
Great analysis of this documentary - I was hoping you would make one! A closer look at Kathy Hilton's family might be interesting, dating back to Kathy's own narcissistic mother Big Kathy and her treatment of her daughters and how they've each turned out - Kathy the narcissist, Kim the addict, and Kyle the codependent. I think their dynamic can easily be seen via the Housewives of Beverly Hills. The really interesting thing about all of this is that Big Kathy came from not much money - even though she was narcissistic, she worked hard and was successful in ensuring that her children either married well or had good careers.
Yes, I agree alot of people who've been abused are people pleasers...." if i can just be more this or that...mom will be happy with me"... "if i just do better. I will be loved more" like you're just never enough to be you....and your attempts to make you're own decisions without input are scary and you fear you'll fail ...not really knowing what you really like or want because you always relied on others to pretty much make your decisions for you...some without your input even...like your voice does not exist....you wear comfy clothes so you feel comfortable with yourself to a degree...to be you...until you feel the real you is infringing upon those who just want to pick you apart! It's an emotional rollercoaster. Prayers for her!! It takes some time, but she can rise from this and be who she truly is a day at a time...decision at a time. YES YOU ARE ENOUGH♥️⚘
This is enlightening in numerous ways, not the least of which is a deeper understanding of Paris Hilton which she deserves. It's also a telling look (and thank you for you analysis) into how a family can make one member the scapegoat for ALL the family issues and ALL the individual issues of other family members so that everyone in the family looks like a perfect person except the scapegoat. And, perhaps most important of all, her revelations about those "boarding schools" and "wilderness camps" ought to trigger criminal investigations in several states. I wanted to hug Paris so many times while watching this.
As the golden child in this dynamic, you nailed it. I cringed watching her sister say those things because she sounded like me once upon a time. The story my parents sold me about my sister wasn't true. I've apologized to her for believing it, but I regret not seeing through it sooner.
That’s amazing that you see what you did. Even though it wasn’t your fault. But yeah, just the fact that you’ve owned up to it is enough I’m pretty sure, for your sister.
It looks like Niki played the role,the parents wanted and Paris couldn't and payed the price for it. Wow,this was eye opening. You do such an amazing job at breaking these dynamics down,for us!
I think I may have enjoyed this video more than any other you've made. This really touched my heart. I'm in such awe of her, and I feel anger towards her family for their inability to cross that divide and assist her in her healing. Trauma based disassociation, and her sister has the gall to angrily ask her to apoligise to her parents. It speaks to Paris' strength and love that she's clearly chosen not to burden them with the details of her abuse. Just wow. Thank you for this. I hope teenage girls everywhere take inspiration that their beauty, love, compassion and individuality can be appreciated by others, even if not by their own family.
Part of the reason she can't take a break from her work is that she thinks if she stops running it will all just fall apart and she'll be powerless again.
This makes me want to give Paris a hug! I know Paris is known for being beautiful, but I've never really found her beautiful....until now, seeing these clips of her in the documentary. I think she looks really lovely just being herself and sharing her real feelings. I can't say I'm interested enough in her as a celebrity to watch the documentary, but I genuinely hope for her that she finds real joy and peace and that she discovers her true self. She's had some really big traumas, I really feel for her. This was a really interesting video!
Omg I agree. I didn’t find her ugly but her persona made her look weird. Especially that pose 😂. In this video I hardly recognized her because she just looked so pretty in a normal way. Her vulnerability and realness really came thru.
I see it as Paris has an innate beauty and has deep substance and the younger sister needs to put her down to keep the naughty alive to make herself feel better than Paris because there is nothing that exudes from that sister that humanizes her in a real genuine way like Paris has naturally and beautifully. That seemingly cold sister will set booby traps for Paris for the rest of her life. Paris needs to make distance so she can 'have' herself. Her 'self' needs to be enough and then she can really walk on the 'catwalk' of life with her head up high.
the interaction with kathy at the end made me incredibly sad. she did not say i'm sorry or i'm sorry that happened to you once. all she said was 'i'm proud of you.' i just found the whole exchange really disheartening. Paris was on Jenny Mccarthys radio show, who i don't really like but i respect that she straight up asked Paris did your mom ever say i'm sorry or anything? Paris said that her mother was shocked during the filming and kind of overwhelmed with being on camera. she later did say that she had no idea and she was so sorry. not sure if she's trying to excuse her mothers behavior and cover for her or her mother really was just in shock or a bit of both.
All of the outpouring of empathy in the comments tells me that, as humans, we can see and vicariously feel the truth about Paris in her documentary. She has been hiding behind a mask but not in the same way a narcissist does. There is pain in her eyes. Narcissists have dead eyes.
Family scapegoating vs golden childing needs to be included in the dam Geneva Convention torture ban list. I ran away & cut off contact 40 years ago and I still have nightmares regularly. Ugh.
“Paris didn’t come to the breakfast table...we didn’t ask any questions...” This would break my heart to hear. If my brothers didn’t even ASK what happened to me, I’d be mad!!!
Thank you for this Zoe! I think that París daring to speak up and come out as real her can help so many abuse survivors! I was crying my eyes out during the documentary and your analysis. I really got deeply touched. On some level very possibly because to some extent I can relate to what she has been through and it awakened also my own buried pain... Thank you for your kind words and insightful perspective as always! 🙏❤️
Great analysis! Since being introduced to Paris in the early 2000s I always thought there was a sadness to her. I thought it was interesting when she said once you get married, you have to truly grow up even though she does a lot of other things ‘grown ups’ do like owning property, businesses, etc.
Great video. Your insights always give me much to think about. I felt sorry for Paris, but also wish her a lot of love. I hope she can be herself one day.
Wow! What you said starting at 31:06 made me cry. It felt like you were talking directly to me and explaining why I am the way I am. It made me feel better and understand myself. I appreciate watching your videos and learning, thank you.
I volunteered with my therapy dog (now gone/in avatar) with teen girls in a mental health facility. One of the girls, after leaving where I volunteered, ended up at Provo Canyon School. Her mother asked me to visit her (we were working one on one with her therapist) and gave the school permission/told them she wanted me to see her daughter and gave me her private code. I was denied visitation by the school and when she got out told me she felt kidnapped & that I didn’t care about her .. I wasn’t even allowed to talk to her. They almost destroyed years of work we had done together.
Could you maybe talk more about the scene with her (ex-) boyfriend on the Festival when he hit her notebook over and also the things her sister (like "apologize to the parents" etc.) is saying in the documentary? That where some scenes that triggered my spidery trauma senses. Would love to see you talking more about the documentary. You're helping me a lot with healing. Thank you so much. ✨
This is the best analysis I have seen of the documentary. Most people have no understanding of the depth of damage growing up in a narcissistic household can do. Thank you for your very genuine and profound reading into this.
100%. I have complex ptsd and I like animals better than people 🤷🏼♀️ and sadly I avoid meaningful relationships 😔 I’m working on it in therapy right now. Love to everyone watching x
I always thought there was something deeper going on with Paris, and I suspected her mother/parents, but I didn't quite expect all of this. I really feel for her, and I hope she gets some help and addresses her mental health. I hope she can truly be happy one day. Great video!
I hope Paris sees this video. Very courageous of her to share this and open up. Well done, Paris. I wish her all the selflove she can feel and let her allow herself to feel all the feelings in her
at 15:57, I'm talking about Paris's mum when I say it's hard to tell if/how much this affects her...just realised that wasn't clear!
This is textbook family systems at work. The Family was emotionally dysfunctional, enmeshed and deeply narcissistic. Paris' parents treated her very poorly they wanted to make her into their little doll, a perfect princess. She was their little debutant. She had a great burden placed on her at very early age. She didn't get to just be a little girl. She had to carry the pride, name, and reputation of the family. Her parents were very invasive and controlling. When she pushed back she became the family scapegoat and her sister was made the chosen child. She seems to be in denial about her anger at her parents. She did experience horrible treatment at the school she was forced to attend but has never been completely honest about her feelings. The anger and rejection she feels will continue to haunt her as long as she insists on shifting the blame onto the school where she was abused instead of placing the blame where it belongs, on her parents who abandoned and rejected her in many ways. Her mother is still unaccepting and condescending. Her love for her daughter looks artificial and conditional. Her mother appears to be very narcissistic and unapologetic. She feels justified in her treatment of Paris. She only thinks of herself and how Paris makes her look and the impact it's had on her reputation. She never apologizes and only feigns remorse and sympathy for Paris because the cameras are rolling. She was probably not very warm or loving to Paris as a child unless Paris was fawning over mommy and making her mother look good. Her excessive need for attention, fame, and wealth can clearly be traced to her insecurity and feelings of inadequacy and shame from the abuse and neglect she experienced growing up a Hilton. Her sister still treats her as a problem and acts superior and arrogant just like her mother. She has no one in the family who loves her unconditionally. Her mother has turned her sister against her picking favorites and causing competition and tension between them. Paris clearly suffers from cptsd and shows signs or narcissism herself. I feel sorry for the little who never got to be a carefree child. A girl who was never allowed climb tress, get mud on her feet and catch frogs. She was never allowed to be herself and as a result how she feels about herself at her core is unworthy and inadequate. She is an attractive woman and was a very beautiful young lady. She likes the attention and admiration her beauty garners but feels empty like something is lacking in her life. She appears to have both high and low self esteem simultaneously. She may unconsciously wonder if she is worthy of unconditional love and belonging. Can people love her for who she is, not just her fame wealth and physical beauty. Her moods and self esteem fluctuate and may be dependent upon her success and the admiration of others. Do you think she uses money and success as a love substitute? Do you think she secretly struggles with imposter syndrome?
Michael Jensen textbook family???? You lost me at textbook family.
Michael Jensen I wonder if Paris’s mother came from humble beginnings and didn’t feel like she fit in with her husband’s family and friends. If so, Paris’s interests in not being a debutant and dressing down might shame her. Paris’s mother became pregnant as a teenager - intensely hard for a Catholic girl especially at that time - and might subconsciously blame Paris for that. Then Paris’s acting out would bring back the shame all over again. It’s like she is trying to control her past through Paris. I feel for that situation, but *nothing* excuses sending a child to that school. Kidnapping in the middle of the night? Red. Flag. Sorry, I’m not buying it. Mama knew.
@@michaeljensen4650 thats a good essay michael the face her mother pulls is one of snide hatred
i always figured Parris was just an over pampered shit but turns out she more like me than i know
Jesus i slipped up there am normally on top of this stuff still kidding myself it didnt happen to me lmfao
ill fix it if i keep tracking at it
i mean we scapegoats are trained to miss shit
like when her mother puts her hand down its not to fainne sadness it to hold back from giggling she thinks her daughter is a fucking idiot she hates them she despises them them being people
the look on parris face is fear and concern she's a kind hearted sweet girl i mis judged
this is why am not a payed judge lol
I dont like how her sister talks abt her and her attitude towords her. I got a strong feeling that Paris truely loves her sister.
Yeah hearing her sister say, "Did you apologize to our parents?" made me really confused. She was a kid, what did she have to apologize for?
Yes!!! I wanted to yell at that B “f you!!”
For being a party girl for a few years and bring bad gossip on the family and possibly the family business. These kind of dynasties have to be careful with public image, and they tell this their kids too, so they have to behave. And they couldn't control her, that's why they just send her away. Really sad and shitty parenting imo
I do not like the sister one little bit. She should have stuck up for her that is what a loving sister should do. No sympathy just coldness , makes me shudder. If I was Paris I would have nothing at all to do with her. Bye bye.
Deplorable Cat Just dump her from your life first opportunity.You will feel such relief.
No kidding! A kid’s responsibility......
Her parents allowed her to be abused and her mom doesn't even apologize. What a narcissist.
Yup mom's a total narcissist and a thundering bitch. Her father, a coward. Her sister a bitch and cold as ice. I hope she cuts them off and finds a decent person and creates her own family, if that's what would make her happy ♡♡♡♡
You probably don't know what you are talking about. Privilege pp. like her especially when she was a teen she was hell on wheels. Disrespecting ppl. etc. etc. Have you ever dealt with teens who think they can do anything without having to be respectful of anyone or anything?
Totally! That part where her sister says “did you ever apologize to our parents” pissed me off sooo bad! I was sent away to one of these schools too, hello! What parent doesn’t see a red flag 🚩 when your kid keeps trying to run away? What parent doesn’t see that kidnapping your child is obviously a BAD Idea?! Total NARCISSISTS 😡
Her mom was shocked at the moment abnd Paris said she never told her parents about things that happened.
And they hail their other daughter... that married into the most Corrupt evil family .. the ROTHSCHILD 🤯. Can't make this stuff up
I was a foster child and sent to a wilderness camp, Pathway Inc in Enterprise Alabama at the age of 13. I had to live, sleep and work in handcuffs and shackles. I was there 32 years ago and this place is still in business. I've been telling my story for 10 years to anyone that is willing to listen. FINALLY, with the help of Paris Hilton and the public's awareness, we have a real chance to protect children.
wow. That sorta reminds me of Bhad Bhaby’s comments regarding Dr Phil.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that! How are these places even still legal and why would any parent send their child there???
So sorry you were subjected to this sick disgusting evil that lurks in the depths of the darkness of this world. You and all the children didn’t deserve this those
People should be executed who did that to you guys. Use your pain and turn it into something great shit maybe sell
Your story even cause that’s the least they owe u is a ton of money and u deserve that, to have your voices heard and to see justice and have answers to this bs!!!! You’re strong beautiful and worthy all of us are and you deserve all the great things in this world please remember that ❤ god is with us
@@reginafromrio” evil” (selfish) rich parents it sounds like
Sent their kids there cause they were “brats” honestly though I think the issue was their parenting not the kids smh
I’ve always had a soft spot for Paris & Britney and celebrities like them. Abuse doesn’t discriminate, it can happen to anyone, wealth doesn’t protect you. It’s clear Paris’ hurt lies deep within her upbringing. I feel your analysis is spot on. It would do so much for her if her mother would simply offer a genuine apology and if her sister would stop blaming her.
@ Lisa F. Me too . I have a soft spot for them
Andrea ☹️
They are groomed through abuse. Its a program called MK Ultra. Hollywood is nothing like it seems to us.
If I were the sister I'd be flipping the papers for my sister not my mother! It's so clear there was emotional abuse and neglect there throughout their childhood. I'm sure that sister learned her coldness from the mother. It's really sad to see parents do this. Stomach churning stuff.
I could care less
Most everyday people I know have gone through much worse.
They can't afford a psychiatrist or the time off to get the help they need...that's who I feel sorry for.
When the sister said “have you ever even apologized to mom and dad??” that’s all she needed to say to see what kind of family this is. Completely narcissistic. Paris is the scapegoat and has never felt any genuine love and acceptance. And when you have a whole family like that you are the bad guy and until she breaks free she will never be truly happy. She will always have that role in the family. It’s so sad for people that grow up in this family dynamic. It’s not even their fault and it’s such manipulation. They have so much to deal with as adults.
Walked away from a rich narcissistic family at 30. Left a home that was bought for me
But came with conditions. Picked up my two little girls and moved away to find myself. Worked hard and bought my own home. Omg I want to hug her. She just wants to scream and cry. I feel so sad for Paris. Gives me a different perspective on her.
I did, too, at 27. It’s one of the best choices I’ve ever made.
Marie Presho
💪🏽♥️
Lindsey Stein
💪🏽♥️
Wow good for you:) money can only get you so much; after you have what you need then it’s up to do the Inner self to create self love and happiness.
Adam Smith thank you and I ended having 3 daughters and I’m now a grandmother. Life is good.
The mother didn't even apologize nor did she say "I love you" back to Paris when Paris said it first.😰 I think her mom is the type that it is all about her 😰
all she said was 'i'm proud of you.' i just found the whole exchange really disheartening. she was on jenny mccarthys radio show, who i don't really like but i respect that she straight up asked paris did your mom ever say i'm sorry or anything? paris said that her mother was shocked during the filming and kind of overwhelmed with being on camera and finding out and such. she later did say sorry and that she had no idea and she was so sorry. not sure if she's trying to excuse her mothers behavior and cover for her or her mother really was just in shock or a bit of both.
Her sister is wretched! Paris isn’t greedy and when Paris said she hadn’t had a vacation and her sister snapped at her “because you’re greedy” she totally invalidated what Paris was trying to say which is that her work brings her peace and a sense of purpose and vacationing would be an almost uncomfortable concept. Her mother was smirking behind that hand of pretend regret...wow if Paris has an awakening to the horrors of those people it will be crushing for her. Probably liberating too though.
Thirston Howell The Bird and Friends! I think she knows to an extent? But yeah, if she ever completely becomes aware it will crush her. I feel badly for her. Money doesn’t mean you have a good upbringing. Doesn’t mean you have loving parents, family. I think it makes life, to an extent, easier. But without love what’s the point?
@@thirstonhowellthebird Even sibilings tend to still display conditioned, callous responses to the proclamations of hardened individuals, because it takes much to both countenance and counter the motives for their callousness, even if they're fundamentally blameless.
Yeah that was cold. Her mother is definitely one of those non empathetic, cold narcissists....!!! Imo her mother is very bad at well, being a mother
I found her to be sincere, raw and open.
I see her with a different lens now.
Somehow before, she seemed insincere and I never took her seriously. This has changed that perception for me.
Abusers will always say that they abuse you for your own good, that they are trying to save you or help you. "save you from yourself" I dont approve of Paris behavior like clubbing at young age but there is lots to uncover here. The abuse at school is disasstrous. I really feel bad for Paris Hilton.
☑️☑️☑️💯👏👏👏👏👏
Exactly. And your disapproval of her clubbing young is, I’m sure, for everyone. Not only her. It’s bad for everyone to do that and when they do it’s often due to bad home life like with her. I feel so badly that I hated on her in the past. In my defence I was young and impressionable.
@@teresahowick5197 I also hated on her I thought she was spoiled and shallow. I have misjudged her. There is lots of very complex psychology in her. Poor girl, I really hope she will love on.
When I was watching that part of the documentary, where her mother put her hand in front of her face, I had the immediate impression of someone hiding from the camera. To me it looked like she was covering up her thoughts and expression, rather than crying, she was shielding herself from what Paris was saying.
Her hand was actually shaking. She and her husband were extremely negligent in sending their child away to be abused by thugs.This began with her being kidnapped by two men in front of them.They were actually crying, and should have put a stop to what was happening immediately.
@@loralieisa @12:45 I went back to look, and she takes a bit to adjust her hand against her face, but it isn't shaking that I can tell. And she isn't crying, before or after covering her face.
@@arielkmusic You are right I went to take another look. However in the documentary comments someone else made a remark about her hand shaking.This version minus a shaking hand is different for whatever reason.If She was only concerned about image this unearthing did not help.
Because her first thought was that any visible reaction would bring shame on the family and their reputation, not Paris’ welfare
And Paris’ reaction was that of “yeah I’ve seen this fake crap before. I know where this leads. I don’t buy it”
I have started to test this theory I have that the core trauma of neglect often manifests in people becoming hyper active on social media- as if the neglected baby in them needs that constant 'gaze' to let them know they exist.
so well put!
Wow! I had a friend who had a need to be the center of attention. I couldn’t figure out why? Being the center of attention is a curse, in my life anyway. Thank you for this explanation! And, how devastatingly heartbreaking.
And social media is very deliberately designed to be compulsive and pull people in so there are compelling forces on both sides.
Very interesting point
This is absolutely your calling. You see deeply through those layers.
Yes I think so too! I really enjoy watching her videos!
She just jumped off the cliff cause no one is going to see her as an empty headed party girl anymore.
@@puppylove2493 she doesn't NEED to be seen as one if she doesn't want to, but yeah i watched the long-form one and there are definitely many deep thoughts inside her head and anybody seeing it is gonna be + 1 to your comment.
(i hope she gets to keep DJing because that seemed to be when she was the happiest, helps to tear DOWN those "troubled teen" things, and maybe eventually finds a SO who's good with the whole "you're paris hilton, even if i've got mine you're probably gonna be a bigger NAME" thing. i seriously wanted to stab at least two of her exes.)
She really does! She’s so perceptive.. it’s really impressive.
yeah she is one of the best ive seen and Im in the field sort of. big fan of Carnes, B Brown and the mighty Lundy Bancroft. I consider this woman right up there with them. then on top of that there are other YT content creators who are great too and they all offer counseling as well. very important
I was a teenager when she became famous. I always knew growing up that Paris was putting on an act to make herself seem ditsy, self obsessed and that wasn’t her real voice. It use to upset me as a young woman that she was trying to make herself more appealing and it worked. Very confusing for a young woman. Watching this has been therapeutic in a way and I am proud of her for telling her story. Trauma can effect anyone. I wish I could tell Paris that she is enough and she is loved and valued. ❤️
She had to create the false image to survive. Now I understand that, I have so much more compassion & understanding for her. I liked her before. I loved the show she was in with her BFF where they were on the farm. I haven’t watched the documentary yet but I can’t wait to watch it. This is a different side. I can relate as many of us can to the scapegoat role in the family. I think this will make her more relatable to people. She’s speaking out about abuse & it’s so important & brave!
i just remember her and nichole loving toast and walmart, haha, i'm clueless about them but figure that show/experience/family did them good
@The Girl with Kaleidoscope Eyes Paris and many celeb women like her just need a Blake Shelton in their lives haha, imo
@The Girl with Kaleidoscope Eyes your words, not mine
@The Girl with Kaleidoscope Eyes it's worth watching but you might tear up some and you will also probably want to slap at least two of her exes upside their heads.
(also, one of MY main reactions was "oh, so you got a retail face/persona like a lot of the rest of us you just got paid more for it and spent so long AS it you have trouble telling that from ACTUAL you? VALID".)
I hope she sees this and realise some of the things you said. Everybody deserves happiness
I hope she sees this too
Omg the sister really has the mothers view of paris, i couldn't imagine in my wildest dreams that my parents would have me kidnapped😢 then to be abused during it all and after my mum NEVER apologises, its so so sad. This video has completely threw me as i didnt watch the documentary as i have her totally stereotyped as rich attention seeking brat, nit someone i could take seriously. Your breakdown on this has been excellent, so im glad ive seen this and will now watch it and remind myself to never judge a book by its cover 😊
I hope you will watch the documentary. It's actually very interesting & seems very genuine.
@@stacin821 i will 🤗
Me too. I had the same incorrect view of PH you did. Grateful for this analysis.
Dude that was normal back then. Actually some schools still do it, but they usually take u to a school in the carribean. Look at the documentary kidnapped for christ, the last stop ( about the Elan school scandal ) the Élan school shut down in 2011)
Ugh, this makes me want to wrap Paris in a huge hug and just have a cry sesh with her. She needs genuine people in her life that support and understand her. It seems like throughout her life she’s been not accepted and this is the only way she feels like she gets “love”, but it’s not real love. I think deep down she’s a down to earth person who just wants what everyone in this world so desperately craves- love and acceptance. It really breaks my heart :(
Meh
I could care less
Most everyday people I know have gone through much worse.
They can't afford a psychiatrist or the time off to get the help they need...that's who I feel sorry for.
Jessica Petersen you’re entitled to that opinion, I just think we need a little more compassion for people. She can’t control what traumatized her as a child and we all know what happens to us as kids affects us later on down the line. I do agree she has access to therapy and other mental health recourses that most people don’t, but it doesn’t negate what she’s been through. I can imagine if I were her, I would struggle with my identity and pressure from being in the spotlight as a kid. We all need a little more empathy in this world 🌎
@@ivy_swain5003 amen! Society as a whole is so quick to judge, when none of us have walked in her shoes. If she was a friend, would anyone say, "poor you, too bad. Go to therapy." No, she is still a human being and deserves compassion. I'm with you 100%!! The world would be a much nicer place if we all treated people with dignity, compassion, and love! ❤
@@AshalindsYT I get having more sympathy for people whove had it worse or cant access help easily, if at all. But I dont get not having zero even for someone with Paris' privilege. Everyone has issues. Having access to help doesnt even guarantee it will be sought or work either. Just look at celeb suicides.
It is interesting how her eyes escapes every time she or someone talks about boarding school. It is like her emotions are too big to contain. I feel sorry for her.
She may disassociate or disassociated to survive that trauma. 🤷🏼♀️
She dissociates. I do the same thing when I talk or think about my abuse. My eyes focus on something in the distance and lose myself.
The trauma we survived there is so deep, that even now, I can barely glimpse at it
Thanks for doing this one Zoe. I also thought her Mum was crying, until she looked up and the first thing out of her mouth wasn't concern for her daughter, but a statement that really said "well that's awful, but you know it wasn't our fault right". It's just occurred to her that this isn't going to make her look good and that's her primary concern. Paris is still carrying the dysfunction for the whole family. I wanted to jump through the screen and hug her myself. My heart broke for her when she said the survivors meeting made her remember who she had been before that happened. It seems that when you live out a lie, then that lie develops a life of its own and becomes a type of trauma in and of itself.
My life......
My heart broke for her at the same moment... I cried 😢
Spot on
Why didn't we talk about how her father filming her meant that he was giving her attention and how she could have equated that to love and how that would have led to "The Simple Life" and even her being filmed by her ex boyfriend?
Yup I agree. Because we get used to how we grow up. Even if dysfunctional. It’s a security blanket. It’s what she knew. I don’t think she ever liked it per se
Fuck. That’s a great insight.
Indeed. As someone who always had to "smile for the camera", I can relate.
This abuse seems the same, over all families, no matter the status. Thanks for this fair examination. I have to admit, when I saw it was about Paris Hilton, I had to check my own prejudices. Maybe the stakes are greater in such high profile families. Thanks so much Live Abuse Free. You are fab!!
Sam. Same, my own prejudices took a beating with this one. I went into it thinking it would be really contrived. I was wrong.
Some wealthy families are incredibly controlling and abusive. Sometimes personality disorders are quite effective in the business world and making money. The same things that drive people to achieve high wealth and status can also make them abusive in family relationships.
I agree.
The same on a much different level
I was so hoping that the mother would say "Im sorry", and so disappointed when she didnt. That was really painful to watch.
I don’t think her mother absorbed this. I don’t think she acknowledges anything happened that she should apologize for. Also, this is a “not perfect” situation and cameras are on. Of course her mom didn’t respond emotionally!
The way her sister is acting when she says the parents tried to protect them from Paris...she looks so satisfied, like she knows the pain what she is saying will afflict...or maybe she is brainwashed as hell and believes the audience will sympathize with her because Paris was so "naughty" so she's really hamming it up and the way that other sister across from Paris looks at her...like she's waiting for paris' reaction. It really is disturbing.
Where is this?
@Octavia My family is like that too, the non-scapegoated "golden child" toes the family line, parroting all their bs to ensure they keep getting what passes for parental love. I think for some people, they're fine with piling on all the abuse as long as their dysfunctional privilege is maintained. My sister is the Nicky Hilton character, blech. :(
@@venus.priestess around 19:25. This really is one of those situations with too presumptuoun and you kind of have to watch it all and let it unfold.
OMG yes! That was hard to watch. Doesn't matter how 'naughty' a child is, having it be kidnapped should never be the way to go. That goes against all motherly instincts. I really wanted to give her a hug in that scene
Yeah she and the other chick came off as gloating. Like. Your sister is crying wtf are you doing.
Even the mom saying “if we had known about this...” “I didn’t know...” still rubs me the wrong way, it’s like “it’s *your* fault, the fact *you* didn’t tell me is the reason I didn’t help, *you* could’ve avoided it, but *you* didn’t”
YES!
Totally sick! I could never watch my daughter terrified and snatched up in the middle of the night. I can’t believe they even have the nerve to admit they allowed her to be kidnapped. To not shed a tear? To not be totally destroyed at the thought of people abusing your own child is horrible. Her mom is vile and evil.
My younger sister was the scapegoat and I was the 'golden child.' I consciously did no wrong to try and get my narcissistic alcoholic mother's approval. I didn't really get it and was still criticized ruthlessly by my mother unless she was comparing me to my younger sister - "why can't you be more like her." I think it's the same dynamic for Paris and her sister. The mother is the root of the dysfunction.
I feel you. My sister was the golden child, I was the scapegoat. Narcissism is a generational sickness
Same here
Hmmm camera in her face all the time. Having to act like everything is fine all of the time. Why does this sound so familiar?? EVERY FAMILY CHANNEL ON TH-cam??
I thought this too.
That was my first thought, Paris's dad was ahead of his time you could argue shoving a camera in front of her face. Now the majority of people do it to their kids to post on social media on the daily. I think it's disgusting and obviously causes deep psychological harm
Daddy'o'Five
Yup. As soon as the baby's born they put a camera in it's face for TH-cam.
@@Mels0103 Yes and it's NOT good!!
“I like animals more than people”. That resonates as I have said this many, many times.
It’s a pretty popular thing to say
Laura Love some people just say it. But some people like myself included mean it. 💙
Michelle Beynon ...... okay. Lol
Michelle Beynon ooooh she’s different ✨
@@luckylaura12 not popular..
just relatable.
I feel like the sister is jealous of her.shes no better because she use to party and do drugs with her too,plenty of pics out there if her looking thrashed.
Right?! At least Paris recognizes her naughty past behaviour. It wasn’t bad I don’t think. It was not smart and it was troublesome but it didn’t make her bad. She was a brat for awhile which is kind of common at those ages. Paris has grown. And is trying to work on herself. Her sister? Not so much.
@@teresahowick5197 she was being bullied according to her (i tend to believe that), a LOT of kids in the 13-17 age range are brats (raises hand) it's just how that manifests that differs, her so-called family isn't much of one imo (frankly her clubbing buds came across more friendly in like 10 seconds than her LEGAL family did in pretty much all of that time), and she's pretty clearly opening up/working on the "you're only as messed up as your secrets" stuff. so yeah, grown-ass lady trying to work on her shit.
Sitting here wishing that Paris stumbles across this video so that she can finally feel that someone sees her and knows how misunderstood she is. How sad that documentary is!
This was such a compassionate and thorough analysis of the documentary. I appreciate how you breakdown tiny details and explain the elements of abuse, control, trauma, and narcissism. I am realizing a lot about my own life experience through your videos. Some things resonate as my normal which I never knew were a coping mechanism.
I hope Paris finds her way to freedom through insight and understanding of self and other. The damage her family handed to her is tangible and her role in the family mirror ps that of her aunt Kim, both were created to be the family scapegoat.
Paris, if you read this...you are enough. You are good enough. The 12 year old in you needs you to hold her, soothe her and protect her. I wish you joy, peace and love.
I couldnt agree more. Much love to Paris, I hope she finds healing and the strength to be her authentic self.
You said it beautifully 💕 I'm pretending your words were for me, too.
Starling Swallow They are for you too. I send you joy, peace and love because you are of value, worth and deserving. Take care, ❤️
Great insight. Thank you.
They were always trying to protect us and shield us
Us being not Paris. Her sister is as cold as her mother. I like Paris. I hope she reaches her goal and gets to chill and finds peace. Always welcome for tea and hob nobs
I know, unbelievable how like her mum the sister is. Not like Paris was a physical threat in any way. I pray she makes her goal too, she deserves it. But im sure she will find peace wheb the attitude of her mother is present in her siblings as well. So sad
Yes, that hurt
@@sharonlee4622 She deserves a billion dollars? I have to respectfully disagree, and the fact that it is what you are putting your prayers toward is disturbing. I don't think anyone deserves to have hundreds of millions of dollars more than they can even spend while so many others in this country are struggling to put food on the table for their children and cannot afford health care. Please pray for those people. Paris does not need more millions of dollars.
@@dorothy6361 my apologies, i actually didnt give that perspective any thought when i commented. I was only thinking that she has convinced herself its the only way for her to find freedom. I hate to think of her feeling that way. Of course i pray for others not fortunate, but just because she has what seems everything doesn't mean she doesnt deserve prayers. But i do get it. I just dont see her ever facing her real problem...the mother!! So instead she is chasing this other way out. I find that heartbreaking. But you are correct, its silly when loads are struggling.
Dorothy agreed. Clearly money isn’t helping her. Maybe she should shift her focus and donate her earnings to those in need. Maybe it would even help her at the same time to heal.
Wow, I really feel my heart and attitude towards Paris soften after watching this. I didn’t even know how much I have been judging her. You never know what someone has been through and how they have been conditioned. This feels like the first real glimpse of what she has been through.
Mother is a narc ......
“I always take what people say with a grain of salt” ya. But not your DAUGHTER!!
Exactly what I was thinking. Your daughter is not just another/any person!
That was a really cold and weird thing to say about your daughter’s memory of being abused. Very telling of her personality that she would say that so flippantly.
Agreed. When her mom said that, I couldn't believe it. It made me think Paris's mom is a callous bitch.
Crazy to realize how abusive/narcissistic even her sister is towards her. Definitely does seem like she is jealous. It's sad that she can't trust her family
I am my family's scapegoat...totally get her. I'm 66 and no matter what I do, I'm still the pathetic piece of trash. Im the most successful of all my sibs, yet....
It's the narc parent that did that to you. I was the scapegoat too. Usually, it's the child in the family that calls out the BS.
It's the narc parent projecting. It's NOT YOU.
@@treesart6914 wow your situation is so familiar. You are a high achiever getting a PhD and it makes it obvious you can never change the way they deal with you. Nothing you could do would make any difference. The concern is awfully phoney and the scrutiny and judgement is veiled criticism.
I
@@treesart6914 not accurate in my case. We females get abandoned too. I wasn't taught survival skills or supported. Basically I had to figure everything out and do it on my own and no accomplishment or maturation would ever register. It was especially the case with me, my mother and my sister. My mother actually came around due to some trauma, the death of my father and shifting alliances, but my sister doubled down. It's absurd to be judged when like you, I went to uni, went overseas, worked as a professional and she did none of those things. She told me the family home would be sold when my mother died assuming i would expect to live there. It really sounds a lot like your case. I have zero tolerance for any kind of spoilt golden child now! Still working on the side effects.
Trees & Art omg this friggin resonated SO HARD with me. Is it scapegoat? I dunno but this is me! I am almost 39, I have little faith in myself. Even though I’m happily (mostly 😂) married, 3 kids, got a BA whilst raising 2 of them during sleepless nights (looking back I have no idea how I did that). I think it’s from my dad in the past. I remember one specific time where I got a B on something in grade 1. He said “you could do better”. Ok well I was proud! Other stuff too but I think I’ve blocked it out. NOW he’s got faith in me and encourages me. That’s great but it’s hard to undo years of not.
It’s hard. I feel you. Like on one level you damn well know you’re accomplished! On another level you don’t think you are, right? I totally have imposter syndrome. Sucks.
Trees & Art thx :). My dad did that too. Was tough. My mom was really affected. She finally left him after 25 years married. My dad is remarried and acts like he was a prince. His stupid wife acts like that too. No acknowledgement that there was a life before her and when we get annoyed there might be a valid reason for it. He’s 79 now. I don’t argue anymore because no point. And he has somewhat mellowed. But still. The trauma is there, right? I’m starting to finally work thru it with help now.
Her mother had a chance to show compassion and instead defended herself and her husband. Paris abandoned and betrayed by her mother yet again.
And she will always b😞😞
23:18 I agree with this point so much! When paris was getting her sunglasses I didn't think she was being dramatic at all, I felt like she was insistent on having them because perhaps they gave her security or comfort. and later on in the doc. she said she needs sunglasses with every outfit. I also think being told "you're too dramatic" can be dismissive of someone's feelings
Yep!
Thank you for posting this, I always thought that Paris was an attention seeking diva to put it bluntly, that’s how she was portrayed in the media, but after watching your video, I can see there’s so many levels to her! I now feel empathy towards her and some understanding, although I am aware that I don’t know her personally. It’s made me reflecting my own parenting techniques, I would hate for my children to feel the way that Paris has felt according to this video!
Same
I kept waiting for the mother to say she was sorry. And then the sister asked if SHE had apologized to their parents. Im so glad you talked about this and saw the same things I saw.
I just watched Paris' documentary last week, and the first thing I thought was "I hope Zoe covers this!". This was wonderful, and makes me want to give Paris a hug even more.
Aw! 🤗
The way you described Paris and how she protects herself by becoming self reliant and not trusting others really hit home for me. It’s like I was hearing a description of myself and I bawled my eyes out through the video. The way you describe people’s stories is so astute and detailed.. I feel like you really nail it with their situations. I’ve only seen a few of your videos but you’ve taught me so much already.
She really needs to get out of the hamster wheel and live. You don't need a billion dollars to be free.
Those interventionist programmes that are emotionally and physically abusive should not be legal.
Her mother is COLD. I can't even imagine being a parent and shutting down your child's personality and joy.
It’s because she spends too much she feels like she needs that much money
that’s her security blanket to not be dependent on her family’s money since she cannot trust them and to feel in control of her life
we average people perceive it as a ridiculous amount but she’s accustomed to a very different lifestyle
it seems that if she wouldn’t have the means to support herself that she’d probably spiral out of control, mentally being sent back to when she wasn’t in control of her life, when her parents and the staff in the camps controlled her life
Developing narcissist traits to survive. To keep your head above the water and not drown in an environment you don't relate with.
“Our brain believes that what we’ve already done is a good idea because we’re still alive”. That made me laugh because sadly it’s so true!
Haha same! I LOL’d!
Actually I was stunned because it's such a simple explanation.
I'm so glad you called out the parents here. I watched the Seattle psychologist and as great as he was, I was so blown away that he didn't talk about these parents and them just wanting to keep their reputations up. I was wondering if you were going to be doing a Paris video. ❤️
Oh he’s amazing I think he plays it safe a lot though.
I thought it was odd that he expressed doubt that Paris was telling the truth about the abuse at the Utah treatment center even though others who were there corroborated her story. The rest of his analysis was good though.
AllsWell L he has a TH-cam series called ‘Psychology in Seattle’. You can find the video on him reacting to the ‘This is Paris’ documentary here on TH-cam. Separately he also has a podcast of the same name.
cat's pajamas oh! I watched all his parts on it I don’t know how I missed that! Like I just remember him being supportive but I do tend to be doing things while listening.
Kirk Honda is not so great. He’s become rather full of himself.
Her sister makes everything sound like it was HER who really suffered. As the oldest of four, my job is always to provide a buffer between my siblings and parents- so strange to always scold them!
Parents who let their children be ake kidnapped into a school while they were watching should just go to prison for life.
Even if the school itself would be unicorns and rainbows, I can't imagine what that experience would do to a child, honestly. Awful, despicable people.
@ live abuse free....if one is married to a Rothschild family...than this is common...im sure you know what im talking about???
NiveaCow I’d really like to hear more about that. What on earth?! Whut? Why?? Need explanation.
@@WashakadaSpirit I'm happy to comply, but explanation of what exactly? ^^
NiveaCow -try searching the vigilant citizen website.
I am 64 yrs old...I see myself in Paris. I was severely physically and emotionally abused as a child (also wealthy parents... they had high and impossible expectations of me). No matter what I did, my mother never felt it was good enough and she constantly compared me to my siblings, who she adored. As an adult I chose abusive partners; constantly reliving my childhood. It took me 60 yrs of various therapists and soul searching to finally realize how my childhood played a part in my adult life and my choices. I am undergoing EMDR therapy, having been diagnosed with PTSD due to the abuse. I hope Paris is able to truly make change. I have chosen to be alone...I am at times lonely, but I do feel more like " me" now. I finally (almost) feel safe.
I love your insight and analysis in all your videos.
Yes me too - and Zoe is a master at conveying the deep substance with a kind of laser light for those in the dark of unknowing with her sense of empathy and understanding of narcissism and also like she never blames the victims like so many professionels do - sadly.
Zoe surely is a true gift to victims of abuse and narcissism - I just wish she could also lecture for the professionels in the field...
The way you break down her sister’s label of P being a ‘drama queen’ really made me rethink so many things, so many people in my life and why they do (why I do) so many things. Wowzers...
I agree with you. Very helpful analysis.
Wow I'd never think she grew up being abused. Be strong Paris you deserve a happy carefree life.
When Nicky said to Paris “have you apologized to mom and dad?” made my blood boil.
golden child point of view - sad
I am so proud of the people who watch this channel and leave such kind words about Paris. I hope she sees this and I hope she finds out she's not alone.
As someone who has never been a fan of or interested in Paris, I watched the documentary out of curiosity and I found it very tragic. I felt really sorry for her and I hope she has been able to take some time off this year to reflect on the important things in her life. I definitely think her mother is very cold and should certainly apologise to her. I also hope her sister stops being so impatient and terse with her. They all just seem annoyed with her and you can tell it's very painful.
Agreed with all of this
I really valued your insight into this doc. When I watched it I was struck by so many relatable issues. None of which involve money or status. A few things stood out to me, like you said, the most pivotal moment was that scene where Paris has the opportunity to confront her mother about what she suffered. She knows going into this that her mother will never say I am sorry in a genuine way. She knows her mother will never hold her with the true warmth and comfort of genuine love and compassion, yet she needs this moment. Maybe to reinforce her righteous anger towards her mother (and dad) for doing this to her and never giving it a second thought or validating her abuse.
That hand over the mother's face, to me seems so typical as an embarrassed body language. It isn't to hide tears, there are none. She is ashamed this is coming to light to the public. Yet again, Paris is "casting the family in bad light", by exposing the mother's decision to have her forcibly removed from all she knew and into the hands of abusive strangers.
Sometimes, when we grow up with cold, abusive, narcs...there are some people who act as beacons of light and love to us. I feel like this was Paris' grandmother. I do not feel like the grandmother was purposely trying to make Paris into something she wasn't with her comments on her beauty or comparing her to other starlets. I feel like it was just a grandma saying nice things to her grand daughter, because she loved her and found her beautiful.
But, when you are surrounded by coldness, and people who expect you to put on an act in order to be "loved", the kinder people's words stick inside you as comfort.
I feel like these comparisons her grandma made about her to other starlets was a positive experience for her, and it stuck. She felt a real love and warmth from her grandma. She built her whole life on that(becoming the starlet), trying to replicate those positive associations to a happier time spent with grandma, into her current existence to cover up the pain of her trauma. (just my opinion of course!).
Lots of people have such hate and disgust and what I think is a jealousy towards Paris. I feel like people hate her because they could sense it was all a façade. People are envious of people with money, which I can't understand because whether you have a nickel or a million, anyone can suffer trauma. I understood clearly her need to keep hustling and making money. She states it clearly, she never wanted to have to depend on anyone again, especially her parents. Also, when you stop hustling, or being a workaholic, or whatever form of running away from your trauma you choose...you are left in the room with yourself. You start hearing the voices of your traumas. You have to start facing them head on. You are alone in this journey. It is a terrifying place to be. It is much easier to keep go go going in life and never slow down long enough to get to know yourself away from all the people pleasing masks that have helped you cope for so long.
I wish her and anyone else who has suffered like this, true healing. There will come a day when it isn't a record player skipping and repeating all your abuse in your head. There will come a day when you have less night terrors. Less distracting intrusions of flashbacks into your daily life. Your trauma then becomes more like a memory instead of a monkey on your back, constantly a part of everything you do.
The internet has changed so much in this world. One positive is that kids may find healing in your thoughtful and informative videos. They won't have to go a lifetime thinking they are alone anymore.
Thank you for all you do here. You have helped me over the years. I appreciate your work. -m.
Years ago, I heard Dr Phil talking about Paris' excellent work ethics. I believed him, now I understand so much better. Love and hugs from South Africa xxx
When Paris' mom put her hand on her face and appeared to cry, it looked like she was feeling bad for herself for having to hear the the things. Imo
Absolutely fantastic review! I’m shocked Paris can forgive her mom so easily.
Did anyone else see how sad she looked as a child?
Yes.
She isn’t fully facing the consequences of her mother’s actions, to her own life. She is keeping a safe distance from the truth, because she knows, of she faces it, it will change everything. Her relationship with her entire family, extended family, sister, will be revealed to be the paper thin, conditional relationships that they actually are. She will be scapegoated, blamed and rejected for telling the truth, and she isn’t ready to face this truth. Many people struggle with this, and never heal, as a result of their fear of rejection. But what they don’t realize, is that it is addition by subtraction. These people were never reliable, would never be there, in the trenches, during the hard times, and never will be. Scapegoating is a massive rejection. It’s already a foregone conclusion, facing it allows a person to finally move forward. Without people holding them back, blood or no blood. You are better off alone, than you ever are with a family like this. Just my opinion.
Yes. She also seemed like a shell. Kathy comes from a messed up family. So messed up.
Wow, not impressed by the judgement in these comments already! You analysis however, is thorough, intelligent and empathic as ever. Thank you!
for real! Does Paris not deserve empathy?
I have so much empathy for Paris
@Adam Smith I do. I was early commenting and at that point 3/4th of the comments were indicating Paris was spoiled and superficial. I indeed realised that I was judging that. But I think I put it very mildly and politely, saying I was not impressed. Namaste brother. I hope you realise you pointing this out keeps us in that same blame circle as well? 😅
I so hope that Paris sees this. It could help her healing immensely.
I think her mam n dad new what Paris was going through, to show her this is what can happen if you don't do as we ask of you. Up to this point in the video i don't see any genuineness coming from her mother
I watched this documentary and feel so much empathy for Paris. Her mother set her up for a miserable life and still seems she just wants her to shut up about the abuse and fake happy. It’s tragic. My wish for Paris is that she heals from this, becomes her true self, and finds peace.
I hate when people assume that she did the documentary ONLY for clout.
Omfg, even rich and famous people have to talk about their problems. And since when do only poor people want to help others?!?!
Whatever.
I agree. The idea that money is everything & makes your life perfect is ridiculous.
@AllsWell L childhood trauma that the parents paid for to happen to her. Its beyond belief
Im in shock with this kidnapping, i cant get my head round it at all. No wonder she needs to talk, bless her
@Dexy Nash money does not prevent people from avoiding therapy for decades for various reasons. All tax brackets do that. 😉
@Dexy Nash i have never heard of such a thing before thats all. As a parent you automatically think of your own and it just shocks you. Yeah send them to boarding school, lots if rich do it but with a kidnapping cmon, it defies logic. Its still a platform to highlight trauma and i think its a shame some view it as personal gain. She doesnt need the spotlight, its never off her. I found this insightful and educational for myself as i had her down as stereotypical rich it girl and its good for people to be reminded to nit judge a book by its cover.
Basically she was the scapegoated daughter and Nikki the golden child of a narcissistic family 😻
I think that she was the eldest child that there is so much expectation. Like Paris I too was born to a mother that was 19. My mother was someone who shouldn’t had children and did anyway. She didn’t have patience and was not very nurturing.
😔💕
Great analysis of this documentary - I was hoping you would make one! A closer look at Kathy Hilton's family might be interesting, dating back to Kathy's own narcissistic mother Big Kathy and her treatment of her daughters and how they've each turned out - Kathy the narcissist, Kim the addict, and Kyle the codependent. I think their dynamic can easily be seen via the Housewives of Beverly Hills. The really interesting thing about all of this is that Big Kathy came from not much money - even though she was narcissistic, she worked hard and was successful in ensuring that her children either married well or had good careers.
Yes, I agree alot of people who've been abused are people pleasers...." if i can just be more this or that...mom will be happy with me"... "if i just do better. I will be loved more" like you're just never enough to be you....and your attempts to make you're own decisions without input are scary and you fear you'll fail ...not really knowing what you really like or want because you always relied on others to pretty much make your decisions for you...some without your input even...like your voice does not exist....you wear comfy clothes so you feel comfortable with yourself to a degree...to be you...until you feel the real you is infringing upon those who just want to pick you apart! It's an emotional rollercoaster. Prayers for her!! It takes some time, but she can rise from this and be who she truly is a day at a time...decision at a time. YES YOU ARE ENOUGH♥️⚘
This is enlightening in numerous ways, not the least of which is a deeper understanding of Paris Hilton which she deserves. It's also a telling look (and thank you for you analysis) into how a family can make one member the scapegoat for ALL the family issues and ALL the individual issues of other family members so that everyone in the family looks like a perfect person except the scapegoat. And, perhaps most important of all, her revelations about those "boarding schools" and "wilderness camps" ought to trigger criminal investigations in several states. I wanted to hug Paris so many times while watching this.
Yup! I can see what you mean, like a child again with her mum. There's very little trust left for Paris.
As the golden child in this dynamic, you nailed it. I cringed watching her sister say those things because she sounded like me once upon a time. The story my parents sold me about my sister wasn't true. I've apologized to her for believing it, but I regret not seeing through it sooner.
That’s amazing that you see what you did. Even though it wasn’t your fault. But yeah, just the fact that you’ve owned up to it is enough I’m pretty sure, for your sister.
@@teresahowick5197 Thank you
Great internal work. It's hard for a golden child to stop running the narcissist script, you've got grit! It helps all us scapegoats out here 💜
@@ashtenchambliss284 thank you
It looks like Niki played the role,the parents wanted and Paris couldn't and payed the price for it. Wow,this was eye opening.
You do such an amazing job at breaking these dynamics down,for us!
Love love LOVE your vids.
Ps. Your hair is giving off Renaissance vibes
I love her look and her vibe 😊
Yes! Her hair is always pretty but this video it’s like a soft cloud. It’s so cool.
I think I may have enjoyed this video more than any other you've made. This really touched my heart. I'm in such awe of her, and I feel anger towards her family for their inability to cross that divide and assist her in her healing. Trauma based disassociation, and her sister has the gall to angrily ask her to apoligise to her parents. It speaks to Paris' strength and love that she's clearly chosen not to burden them with the details of her abuse. Just wow. Thank you for this. I hope teenage girls everywhere take inspiration that their beauty, love, compassion and individuality can be appreciated by others, even if not by their own family.
This was a beautiful analysis. I almost cried a few times. It was done with a great amount of sensitivity. Very much appreciated. 💜
I’ve always thought she was trapped inside a false identity. Hopefully, she’ll be able to be her real self before it completely destroys her
I wish I always thought that. Instead, I judged her. And harshly. I feel terrible.
Part of the reason she can't take a break from her work is that she thinks if she stops running it will all just fall apart and she'll be powerless again.
This makes me want to give Paris a hug! I know Paris is known for being beautiful, but I've never really found her beautiful....until now, seeing these clips of her in the documentary. I think she looks really lovely just being herself and sharing her real feelings. I can't say I'm interested enough in her as a celebrity to watch the documentary, but I genuinely hope for her that she finds real joy and peace and that she discovers her true self. She's had some really big traumas, I really feel for her. This was a really interesting video!
Omg I agree. I didn’t find her ugly but her persona made her look weird. Especially that pose 😂. In this video I hardly recognized her because she just looked so pretty in a normal way. Her vulnerability and realness really came thru.
I have always thought there is more to Paris than meets the eye. Thank you Zoe for this study
I see it as Paris has an innate beauty and has deep substance and the younger sister needs to put her down to keep the naughty alive to make herself feel better than Paris because there is nothing that exudes from that sister that humanizes her in a real genuine way like Paris has naturally and beautifully. That seemingly cold sister will set booby traps for Paris for the rest of her life. Paris needs to make distance so she can 'have' herself. Her 'self' needs to be enough and then she can really walk on the 'catwalk' of life with her head up high.
The sisters married a Rothschild 🤢
Binge watching some of your content today. Great therapy. Thank you.
the interaction with kathy at the end made me incredibly sad. she did not say i'm sorry or i'm sorry that happened to you once. all she said was 'i'm proud of you.' i just found the whole exchange really disheartening. Paris was on Jenny Mccarthys radio show, who i don't really like but i respect that she straight up asked Paris did your mom ever say i'm sorry or anything? Paris said that her mother was shocked during the filming and kind of overwhelmed with being on camera. she later did say that she had no idea and she was so sorry. not sure if she's trying to excuse her mothers behavior and cover for her or her mother really was just in shock or a bit of both.
All of the outpouring of empathy in the comments tells me that, as humans, we can see and vicariously feel the truth about Paris in her documentary. She has been hiding behind a mask but not in the same way a narcissist does. There is pain in her eyes. Narcissists have dead eyes.
Fully agree
Family scapegoating vs golden childing needs to be included in the dam Geneva Convention torture ban list. I ran away & cut off contact 40 years ago and I still have nightmares regularly. Ugh.
“Paris didn’t come to the breakfast table...we didn’t ask any questions...” This would break my heart to hear. If my brothers didn’t even ASK what happened to me, I’d be mad!!!
RIGHT?! I was so shocked that her sister almost seemed to condone this violence against her own sister!!!
Thank you for this Zoe! I think that París daring to speak up and come out as real her can help so many abuse survivors! I was crying my eyes out during the documentary and your analysis. I really got deeply touched. On some level very possibly because to some extent I can relate to what she has been through and it awakened also my own buried pain...
Thank you for your kind words and insightful perspective as always! 🙏❤️
I love your insight on these situations, I binged all you videos when I came across you. Thank you for doing this - Have a great day!
Great analysis! Since being introduced to Paris in the early 2000s I always thought there was a sadness to her. I thought it was interesting when she said once you get married, you have to truly grow up even though she does a lot of other things ‘grown ups’ do like owning property, businesses, etc.
“People love her for who she isn’t” ! Wow!!! What a recipe for cognitive dissonance and breakdown.
Yeah, that's just it. She wants to be loved but she's not being loved for who she really is.
Great video. Your insights always give me much to think about. I felt sorry for Paris, but also wish her a lot of love. I hope she can be herself one day.
Wow! What you said starting at 31:06 made me cry. It felt like you were talking directly to me and explaining why I am the way I am. It made me feel better and understand myself. I appreciate watching your videos and learning, thank you.
I volunteered with my therapy dog (now gone/in avatar) with teen girls in a mental health facility. One of the girls, after leaving where I volunteered, ended up at Provo Canyon School. Her mother asked me to visit her (we were working one on one with her therapist) and gave the school permission/told them she wanted me to see her daughter and gave me her private code. I was denied visitation by the school and when she got out told me she felt kidnapped & that I didn’t care about her .. I wasn’t even allowed to talk to her. They almost destroyed years of work we had done together.
Those places are hell holes and need to be shut down
Could you maybe talk more about the scene with her (ex-) boyfriend on the Festival when he hit her notebook over and also the things her sister (like "apologize to the parents" etc.) is saying in the documentary? That where some scenes that triggered my spidery trauma senses. Would love to see you talking more about the documentary.
You're helping me a lot with healing. Thank you so much. ✨
Omg yes!! Same!! I had such a reaction to that sister saying that.
Ye I was hoping this would come up
This is the best analysis I have seen of the documentary. Most people have no understanding of the depth of damage growing up in a narcissistic household can do. Thank you for your very genuine and profound reading into this.
100%. I have complex ptsd and I like animals better than people 🤷🏼♀️ and sadly I avoid meaningful relationships 😔 I’m working on it in therapy right now. Love to everyone watching x
So touching. Thank you for the insight.
As a survivor of abuse this is really validating.
I always thought there was something deeper going on with Paris, and I suspected her mother/parents, but I didn't quite expect all of this. I really feel for her, and I hope she gets some help and addresses her mental health. I hope she can truly be happy one day. Great video!
Thank you for explaining Paris. Very interesting. I also had narcissistic parents.
I hope Paris sees this video. Very courageous of her to share this and open up. Well done, Paris. I wish her all the selflove she can feel and let her allow herself to feel all the feelings in her