Hi there, viewers! You can read an adapted text version of this video on Medium. medium.com/@quotidianwriter/writing-exercise-adding-conflict-to-a-scene-44785ec21bc6
May sound weird, yet the "Hunter x Hunter" manga series is a great piece of fantasy and writing in general. The youtubers dbzimran, Aleczandxr and super eyepatch wolf have done some great video essays on Togashi's writing there.
I'm mostly a visual learner AND creating a graphic novel, using lessons from all types of writers and writing. I don't know if this was on purpose, but you actually engaged my brain SO much more (than others I watch) with the imaging you have used whilst you speak. It like...reinforces what you're saying and really hold my attention. Your vids are brilliant. Thank you so much for this information, your time and for providing this to us for free. I feel so lucky to live in this day and age where this amount of learning from so many different teachers is possible
Yaaay! Thank you so much for watching and for your incredibly kind words! I'm so glad you find my videos helpful. I love graphic novels. Keep writing! :)
As good as allways. I think I use more the conflict between friends, dont remember ever had used the bad news. By the way it would be so good if you did the videos more a regular thing, I know they are hard to do but you are so good, maybe cause you take your time, but they just help so much.
Excerpt... "You have to stop this craziness," she said as she sipped her tea perched on the edge of her seat, "lives will be ruined, are being ruined. You have to accept that he is gone, and your war can't bring him back." He stood up and leaned over the table towards her. His emotional turmoil was palpable, but the half grin on his pretty face and his dancing eyes bespoke more than she could imagine. "You think this is about your boy? There is more going on here than you can fathom." He stood up again and his glass clinked as ice dropped from his palm, and then he poured himself another bourbon; the ice cracked and popped as the alcohol washed over them. He picked up his glass and rolled it around, his smile but a memory, "his death was but a legitimizing catalyst for a chain of events already well under way, whether any of us wanted it or not." He sat back down, smelling the booze before washing his mouth with it; a shadow of his half grin reappeared, barely noticeable, but she knew it. She gazed at the brother she loved so dearly, and then slowly her eyes fell to her tea. Why did she have to love him so hard? Why did it have to hurt so much? The words were out before she realized she was saying them, barely a whisper, "Your son." Her breath caught as she heard it, staring at her tea willing the the words not to reach his sensitive ears. Silence. An eternity, maybe two. This was not how she had planned to tell him, but the callous regard for their boy's tragic death pained her so. "Get out!" He breathed. She nodded with a defeated sniff, setting the cup on the table as she rose shamefully. Her mouth opened and closed several times, trying to say something she didn't have the voice to say. The courage she needed to look at him was nowhere to be found, so she picked up her purse and took a step, the next one took her away, the next she practically flew. Any hope of achieving peace had been utterly dashed with two words. Tears fell, tears, she was not a crier, she was a master damn it; the complete surrender of her strength ran down her face. Why was the door so far away! "I'm sorry," she choked pathetically as she finally reached the door. She flung the door open and ran, like a pathetic little girl, she ran not looking back. Her promise never to hurt him, she couldn't get away fast enough. She ran until her heart punished her rib and knives ravaged her lungs, and she kept running.
Brilliant, simply brilliant, Diane! And timely too. I wonder where you got your crystal ball, to be able to divine exactly what we're struggling with in your videos?
Great stuff, Diane ❤️ Thank you!! It was relatable to me as I had written a scene in which a minor character named Pavol gets killed out of the cowardice of my protagonist Gary. As a punishment for his cowardice, Gary is now commanded to ride to Pavol's home and deliver word of his death to his wife (who respects Gary in a way you do to your idol). It was one of the toughest task for him.
Just what I needed. I'm currently trying to spice up a scene that feels flat to me, even though it contributes to the plot, contains humor and raises some questions, and I couldn't figure out what was wrong with it :) As for a source of conflict had to add to a scene to spice it up once... *thinks* Oh, I had this one scene in which there was a meeting. There was a bit of conflict between characters, but it was just the usual banter between them, so nothing very significant. It gave the reader the information I wanted it to give but wasn't actually interesting. So, I split it and made it two scenes. The first was basically the first version of the scene, but at the end of it the reader discovers it was in fact merely an idealized version of the upcoming meeting fantasied by a character. The second is the REAL meeting, and turns out... the character that was supposed to help the scene along in the fantasy is 'sick' (he didn't want to have to confront the issue and didn't come) and so, even if the outcome it technically the same (character A, the one who plays sick, is chosen to accomplish task B), he really doesn't take it well, because the decision was taken while he wasn't even there...
Thanks for posting this. I appreciate the way you've taken the time to make your videos great. You didn't have to include the professional reading of the snippet from Divergent, but you did, and it rocks. Hooray for taking the time make cool stuff!
Thanks again. I also link the advice in your video on writing with emotion. Having a question that doesn't have a direct answer and having conflicting feelings about something are also great ways tip add internal conflict to a scene.
Just found your channel and subscribed. Currently writing my own book that maybe I'll sell on Kindle one day... Also, thank you for using concrete examples of what you're talking about and not using jargon that may confuse me. I instantly liked your videos because of that.
Spice to a Scene: i usually add irony to a scene. someone listening to a secret conversion or someone trying to send a message without directly saying it out loud, talking in code so only the clever ones get the message. as someone trying to add mystery / questions every few pages, i try to give away the answer before the question is asked, so the questions answer themselves. because when the reader starts to theorize, i know they are invested (For better or for worse)
Diane - You used the 1990 Treasure Island with Christian Bale, Charleton Heston, Oliver Reed, Cristopher Lee, and Directed, Written, and Produced by Fraser Heston. My all-time favorite version of this amazing story!
I recently (ish) jumped ahead in my writing to get to the a couple scenes I'd been itching to write. One being where my amnesiac MC meets, on the other end of a knife, what is essentially his best friend's secondary personality: a calculating and ruthless assassin. The second is where said MC finds out his wife is dead--and has been for 14 years. So not only is she dead, but it's old news for everyone else. Delicious!
Love this video. I'm trying to learn more about writing in order to get better at roleplaying in games like Dungeons & Dragons, as well as running games of my own with a better idea of what I can do to make things more exciting and interesting for the players. I feel like I lack some kind of instinct or intuition for these kinds of things, so your videos are a big help. :)
One of the scenes I am most proud of in my writing is where two best friends are surviving in the wilderness, trying not to get caught by a totalitarian government who is hunting them. In order to eat, one of the characters shoots a rabbit, and he and his best friend have an argument because the friend doesn't believe in killing animals. It built their characters and the world they lived in, as well as examining how different religious beliefs conflict in life and death scenarios. And I mean religious beliefs. The one character isn't just vegan, being complete pacifist is literally a pillar of his religion.
I'm new to writing fiction and by extension new to videos such as these. I enjoy yours more than most. This one is especially timely as I am getting ready to write a story that will contain a fair amount of conflict. My most recent story has a great deal of conflict, much of internal based on choices the protagonist(s) made. You've given me some great pointers to consider as I write my next manuscript and revise the others. I'm bookmarking one. 😁 Great stuff. Thanks for posting.
Lol this one made me hungry. But I also got me thinking of the relationship between my MC and the main antagonist. At first, my MC admires-and even has a crush on-the main antagonist. I need to include a scene where that admiration is shattered to pieces, and this gave me a lot of ideas.
Thank you! I wrote a scene I loved but was thinking I had to cut it as it wasn't really necessary. By giving my protagonist an argument with her friend at the outset, I can keep it in
Oddly enough, I've been pondering this question for months, haha. Ever since I read this comment, I've been more attentive to how sounds are described in fiction, and I've come across three strategies: 1) onomatopoeic words that are italicized (V.E. Schwab uses this in "Vicious" to describe the characters shoveling dirt: *Thud. Thud. Thud.*), 2) descriptive verbs that act as onomatopoeia ("The wind whistled through the trees"), and 3) figurative language that compares the sound to some other well-known sound ("like nails on a chalkboard"). I came across a sentence in "A Game of Thrones" that basically uses all three: "Sansa heard it too, floating through the woods, a kind of wooden clattering, snack snack snack." Here's a good resource for sound-evoking words: examples.yourdictionary.com/5-examples-of-onomatopoeia.html.
Further to earlier comments on other videos and suggestions made by you , I just did a re-write of the first scene of the work I am doing now. It is a lot more wordy because of the setting information. Not sure what to think of that. Some of the ingredients illustrated here I have used, such as conflict or apparent conflict between allies. I am a bit worried about losing control of the dish, however, but I will get the hang of it in other re-writes. I was at 11000 words of my first draft, and I have just realized that the minimalist Spy Who Came in from the Cold stands at some 60000... I think following through your advice might give me a 100 000 word manuscript. Incidentally, I have done another exercise you recommend: a copy and re-write of the first scene of Spy who came in from the Cold. My intention in the re-write was to speed up the information while keeping the same pace of action. In other words, say more with fewer words. In that, I succeeded, but re-reading what I wrote (which I think improves a little bit on Le Carré) I notice I inadvertently changed a character's... tone and probably his personality relative to the protagonist (and the original).
You do have to be careful not to overcorrect when it comes to adding setting and character information. As you said, some authors are more minimalist in their style, and it's perfectly okay to lean one way or the other. However, you should also take into account how many scenes it will require to tell your story vs. how many "The Spy Who Came in from the Cold" uses; John le Carré's novel contains twenty-six chapters, with the scene number being higher than that, given some chapters feature multiple scenes. Sometimes writers think they need to trim the most on a sentence level, when in reality they need to cut material on a scene level. In this case, I advise writers to list every scene in their book and its purpose. (Scene 12: Larry goes to the butcher to ask about his missing wife. Purpose: He discovers she was spotted next door, which leads to him spying on the neighbors.) I find when I go through a manuscript with the mindset of "What can I cut to trim this down X number of words?", my brain will present scenes that aren't necessary to the narrative, even if they're written well. Murder your darlings and all that! If you're just starting your draft, it's typical to go long and cut it short when you're finished, and it's generally easier to trim than it is to add, although your mileage may vary. Keep writing! :)
Exercise: Take a bland scene and spice it up. The following is from my novel, a once bland scene with added bold moves and bitter news. Thank you for the help :) ----- When all you have to base your new love on is the old one, how do you let go? Under the Eiffel tower of Brooklyn-the Coney Island Parachute Jump-listening to the sounds of top forty radio, they danced. The loudspeakers were playing a remix of Camila Cabello’s hot summer tune. Ilya imagined Julia looking like Cabello. Same smoldering eyes, but strawberry blonde hair. He purred, “Julieta,” in her ear, as they stepped softly, slowly, now and then jabbing their hips, building up, swinging harder and harder: playing the bull and matador with their hips. Meanwhile families screamed in all directions. First, he would get close, work her pelvis. Next, she would spin, fan her fingers in his face, and laugh. Nearby, the rollercoaster zoomed by. Then, Julia tapped his shoulder. He grabbed and twisted her. Loudly, a wave broke on shore, leaving residue, washing back. That’s when Julia articulated her way up, to Ilya’s face, licked him, then sprinted off, to where the waves were. The rollercoaster ride was over. He chased her, to their bags, close to where she was squatting by the water, quiet, counting the number of shells in the sand. As he squatted and kept silent, she mused: “Would you agree? There is no line between Coney Island and Brighton Beach, only one long beach. Any line you drew, the ocean would just wash it away.” Squatting even lower, Ilya replied, “I agree. Only, I don’t think these apartments behind us all cost the same along this, so called, one beach.” His pants got wet in the sand. Julia took this as her cue to speak what was really on her mind: “Tell me, young knight, does a damsel wait for you back home?” “My roommate,” he said. “But it isn’t what you think.” “You misunderstand the question.” “No one,” said Ilya, feeling Julia look at him, but unable to return that look. “No one is waiting. I understood.” He took a breath as deep as he could, and held it, comically, hoping to make Julia laugh. But she wasn’t laughing. He exhaled. “I broke up with my girlfriend of two years last month.” “It hurts, doesn’t it? “Yes, yes it does.” “I’m getting divorced this week,” said Julia. Ilya could not, not think about what that meant for him and her. “You’re married?” “Now you’re asking?” Julia laid her back against the wet sand, and with both hands moved her hair from under her head. She could hear the crackling of the beach and the crashing of waves underneath her thoughts. “No, not for long.”
Maybe you can't do this, but you can write about it. So it will be in a book after all. Like an exorcism, or a tool to regain control by writing about it and giving it shape, and then choose an outcome for your story that would be cathartic for you.
I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS. Please make more.--In my latest WIP, Emily, my protagonist, investigates an attempt on a young girl’s life. In direct contravention of police orders to keep away, she enters the girl’s home and discovers her mother has been murdered. Warned again to “Back off,” and let the police handle the situation, Emily again ignores the warning and re-enters the crime scene. Here she discovers the police have missed some vital evidence, a clue to the killer’s identity. This raises a problem for Emily because the chief investigating officer on the case is her boyfriend, Colm O’Byrne, a Detective Sergeant and current commander of the local police department. Does she ‘fess up and tell all, or hide the information and continue her own investigation? Doing the latter will not only risk putting her relationship with Colm in jeopardy but will also place her in extreme danger. Danger that will take her to the edge of death.
Thank you so much for watching! :) I definitely understand the "meh" feeling toward audiobooks; it took me until after college to really get into them. I've found that listening on 1.25 or 1.5 speed helps me stay engaged, as the narrators usually speak too slowly for my tastes. Some books are too difficult to comprehend through audio, and I have to read them in print, but for non-fiction and YA genre fiction, listening works for me. Memoirs are my absolute favorite in audiobook format, since they're usually read by the author, such as Trevor Noah's fantastic _Born a Crime_. As you can probably tell, I'm like an audiobook convert trying to reel others in, haha.
My spices are ghost pepper for my fourth episode of the Colorcons: in this episode ruby is settling in an alley with other homeless people. Celina couldn't believe she didn't find a home.(bitter) flashback to 2 days earlier when ruby is getting ready to move into Zack's place with her four friends helping. she was so excited to be living with Zack one problem his dad jason is strict,hot-tempered, and stubborn(sweet and sour) Diego tells ruby to not get on his nerves if she's going to live with Zack. Ruby has to learn how to being nice, gentle, and caring to impress jason.But will her tomboyish nature get the best of her when she meets jason or will she be forced to come clean about her color sprite heritage?
In my novel, my protagonist, Claudia, is a Roman girl who is prideful. Julia, her servant and friend, is usually subservient due to her status. So she normally doesn’t speak out of turn or stand up for herself because her previous owners would punish her. There’s a small moment where Claudia and Julia are lost in a market and they need a specific item. They meet twin girls who offer assistance. Julia, knowing Claudia’s state of mind at this point, makes a comment, “Actually, we’re rather lost.” Claudia glares at her slave for speaking out of turn, as she’s not used to that. It’s a small moment, but I’m proud of it lol! I don’t like scenes where characters are at each other’s throats constantly.
There's one scene in particular, something that I'm extraordinarily proud of, involving the love interest of the story learning that the protagonist is from a race of monsters he's been fighting his entire life to eradicate. The reveal leaves him off-kilter and when he's disoriented, the love interest is the sort of person to stab whatever's causing him confusion, causing him to, naturally, lash out at the protagonist. It just ends in the entire thing escalating into what would be a fight scene but the protagonist instead restrains the love interest and wipes his memory of them, revealing to the audience that this isn't their first time revealing this truth, romancing the love interest or, supposedly, doing any of the actions that they've taken since the protagonist and love interest met and I think it was a good example of both conflict between characters and throwing the reader for a loop.
I’m writing a play about the Austrian Martyr Frank Jagerstatter. Frank believes it would be immoral, even sinful, to serve in Hitler’s army. Grams and his cousin are both on deferred service as farmers. They receive word that their deferments have been revoked and they must report for duty or be arrested and charged with desertion. The penalty is death. His cousin argues that his overriding responsibility is to his wife and daughters, Frank argues that like his cousin’s example he always treated him with respect even though he was Illegitimate. As his cousin chose friendship Franz must honor his relationship with Christ.
I haven't actually written the scene but my story is built off of conflict between two brothers. The younger brother ends up running away to get out of an arranged marriage. The night before he runs away the older brother tries to talk him out of it. The older brother is very angry that the younger brother is leaving the family. The younger brother is angry at the older brother for not trying to look at it from his perspective.
I am sleep deprived right now, so take my opinions and statements with a grain of salt XD I think the spice comes out where a character clashes with the plot he's in. Like... a character who is not meant to speak up, who is a servant, or otherwise suppressed... who desperately NEEDS to speak up in that very moment. I, as the author, made the choice to put them in this position, and I chose to force their hand. Whatever they do in response to this pressure, will certainly be spicy in some way. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I don't feel like you can take a bland scene and artificially add spice to it after the fact, if that makes sense. Because in a bland scene, the character is reasonably comfortable in the space the plot gives them. To spice up that scene, I'd need to add a dent to the plot that would otherwise not be there. I don't know, maybe that's just me. Or maybe it's the insomnia talking. As for a spicy scene... I think the best example I have is the engagement of my protagonists. It's a forbidden love, both parties torn apart by rank, status, culture and war itself... But there are lives on the line, honor, pride and the future of an unborn child... There were malevolent forces trying to break them, to keep their union from ever happening... and just when it seemed like there would be no hope... the traitor, the servant, the dull warrior speaks up in front of the emperor himself, and asks for the princess' hand in marriage. And for some reason the emperor gives his blessing, shocking every single person in the room. There are tears, there is laughter, there is joy... but there is horror too.
Ooh, that's great phrasing: "the spice comes out where a character clashes with the plot he's in." I think with a bland scene, you basically need to rewrite it from scratch (dammit, can't escape the cooking puns). If the situation isn't putting pressure on the character when it could be, then they need to be put in a different situation. I see what you mean, though, about shaping the plot around the character rather than the character around the plot, as people will react differently to the same situation. The conflict needs to be at odds with that particular character's goals and/or personality. Your engagement scene sounds interesting because it's full of surprise! The reader might wonder about the emperor's ulterior motives in allowing that engagement. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! :)
@@QuotidianWriter I agree. When a scene is bland, it can't be "spiced up" without changing the foundation of that scene. And with the symbiosis of character and plot, I feel like it has to be like like a happy marriage, if that makes sense. Like, there have to be parts that balance each other out and work in harmony, but there have to be differences and clashing aspects too. If it's all streamlined it's boring, if it's all clashing it'll be exhausting to follow along. Maybe it's because I do have a rather character-driven style of writing and plotting, but I truly believe that the spiciest scene will fall completely flat without a character to breathe life into it! Anyways, I'm always happy to talk about writing and stories, so it was my pleasure! PS: Thanks! My readers were indeed very surprised and had a lot of questions XD
@@QuotidianWriter It’s also been portrayed/interpreted as romantic many times in ancient history, but later readers denied it because gay :(. I think there was even a movie where they made them cousins lol.
My Newest Conflict Scene - After Mrs W demands to see her new bi-racial grandson, her husband flies into a rage and beats her face, resulting in black, purple, green, yellow discoloring days later. Later, when Mr W is beating a slave, with all plantation slaves forced to observe, Mr W calls on her to bring him his pistol. She does so, and as he turns to receive the weapon, she shoots her husband in the face, shredding flesh and shattering his cheekbone. "I seed it, Missus," says a field hand. "Dat ole gun done misfahr agin." "Yassum, Missus," other slaves agree, "I see it misfahr." He lives, but she flees to another state to join her son's family, never to return to her husband.
Ahhh', I'm sorry. While it's, indeed, a good lesson on how to add conflict to a scene, it is the stupidest sceene I've come up to (this is not a critique for Diane, but to the writer of the novel). So... She is spea,king up to someone she doesn'nt want to speak up to, he chalenges her to get in front of the knives and she just does so. She just goes in front of the knives instead of speaking up to this badass as she did 2 minutes ago. Siriously?
I don't know.. she spoke up as a reflex to defend the kid.. which is different to speaking up to defend yourself. I thought it was consistent that her next move was to prove her dauntlessness.
@@ALSeth-Storyteller In my experience, there are scenes in novels that are necessary to progress the plot but that aren't conveyed in a conflict-rich way. The scenes I use as examples could've been portrayed differently. In "Divergent," the author wants to show the danger of the training, in addition to characterizing the differences between the two leaders. She could've shown this through Al going up and getting knives thrown at him. That would've had the same intended effect but without involving the protagonist. However, the version where Tris volunteers is better because it creates more tension and has a long-term effect on her dynamic with Four and Eric. In "Treasure Island," the main plot progression is that the captain has found out about the mutiny. Jim *and* the captain could've overheard the pirates talking about the mutiny together. Instead, only Jim overhears it and he has to tell the captain himself. The same outcome would happen in either case, but it's more interesting if Jim has to deliver the bad news himself. With the Harry Potter example, the trio could've left the room without encountering any obstacles. The ending could've just had Dumbledore awarding Gryffindor extra points for Harry, Ron, and Hermione's bravery alone. But it's more interesting that the extra points come from Neville standing up to his friends and that we have that scene showing friends facing off. In these stories, the same outcomes could've been achieved in blander ways, but the authors chose methods that give readers clashes between characters. I hope that helps clarify what I meant by "adding spice." :)
I didn't mean these examples per se, I meant trivial conflicts authors add to the scene for trivial pay-offs. There're more choices that simply between bland or trivial, like dramatic-irony, black-comedy or tragedy. Tension is one of them but most writers don't know how to write a payoff anyway. In Divergence, Tris should have been reprimanded by either one or both leaders for speaking out of turn. Instead the writer used it to develop some sleazy teeny romance between the characters. In HPPS, Harry got the extra-points anyway... after defeating Voldemort and successfully stealing the stone (for points!? lol). Neville got rewarded for being an annoyance. The Treasure Island is pretty good and if you like it, I highly recommend the series BLACK SAILS which takes inspiration from the book. There's nothing trivial in it that're not hilarious or have serious payoffs.
@@ALSeth-StorytellerAs a reader, I enjoy trivial payoffs because I value the nuances of character relationships, but I definitely understand wanting greater payoff. In "Divergent," Four does reprimand Tris after that scene; it is not exactly a romantic moment, although they are obviously love interests. Different readers are bound to have different tastes, and you seem to prefer darker and more serious works, but I like to draw from a wide variety of genres and approaches. "Black Sails" looks like an interesting show! I appreciate you elaborating on your thoughts.
I don't understand why you choose Harry Potter since, for me, there is no memorable scene. I feel no connection to Harry or others characters. All JK Rowling does is choosing the architect writing, forcing characters to do this or that and make the adult dumber to advance the plot. They are not organic or real, they are toys to satisfy the readers rather than themself as a person. It's an excuse to present the fictional world. I don't understand the hype. I never liked Rowling after reading the first book. Yes, the point is to spice a scene, that's why I came here. I believe that even the most banal scene is the most useful to present a character or a situation. Like filler belongs to the story. Attention to detail intrigues me, yet it's hard to spot when writing.
I respect you and your knowledge, and I really really wanna like you and watch your videos, but every time I try the pseudo-dramatic way you read your scripts, espcially when reading excerpts of books, drives me fucking crazy.
Hi there, viewers! You can read an adapted text version of this video on Medium. medium.com/@quotidianwriter/writing-exercise-adding-conflict-to-a-scene-44785ec21bc6
May sound weird, yet the "Hunter x Hunter" manga series is a great piece of fantasy and writing in general. The youtubers dbzimran, Aleczandxr and super eyepatch wolf have done some great video essays on Togashi's writing there.
"Whatever you do, keep writing" - tears and goosebumps every single time. Even though I know it's coming.
Personally, I cringe every time.
I love it too!
ikrrr i thought i was the only one
I'm crying and shaking
Omg same! Nosebleeds, stomach irritability, and full body cold shivers ever time
This is the only channel I've ever turned notifications on for.
Ditto
I'm mostly a visual learner AND creating a graphic novel, using lessons from all types of writers and writing. I don't know if this was on purpose, but you actually engaged my brain SO much more (than others I watch) with the imaging you have used whilst you speak. It like...reinforces what you're saying and really hold my attention. Your vids are brilliant. Thank you so much for this information, your time and for providing this to us for free. I feel so lucky to live in this day and age where this amount of learning from so many different teachers is possible
Yaaay! Thank you so much for watching and for your incredibly kind words! I'm so glad you find my videos helpful. I love graphic novels. Keep writing! :)
Oh my goodness...the food analogies were a terrific idea!
I would listen to any audiobook, with your voice... so smooth.
An interesting recipe for success.
Your voice is addictive. And as always, the topic is just what I need. (Thank you soooooooo much!)
Addictive doesn't begin to describe it. Sigh!
As good as allways. I think I use more the conflict between friends, dont remember ever had used the bad news. By the way it would be so good if you did the videos more a regular thing, I know they are hard to do but you are so good, maybe cause you take your time, but they just help so much.
Excerpt...
"You have to stop this craziness," she said as she sipped her tea perched on the edge of her seat, "lives will be ruined, are being ruined. You have to accept that he is gone, and your war can't bring him back."
He stood up and leaned over the table towards her. His emotional turmoil was palpable, but the half grin on his pretty face and his dancing eyes bespoke more than she could imagine. "You think this is about your boy? There is more going on here than you can fathom." He stood up again and his glass clinked as ice dropped from his palm, and then he poured himself another bourbon; the ice cracked and popped as the alcohol washed over them.
He picked up his glass and rolled it around, his smile but a memory, "his death was but a legitimizing catalyst for a chain of events already well under way, whether any of us wanted it or not." He sat back down, smelling the booze before washing his mouth with it; a shadow of his half grin reappeared, barely noticeable, but she knew it.
She gazed at the brother she loved so dearly, and then slowly her eyes fell to her tea. Why did she have to love him so hard? Why did it have to hurt so much? The words were out before she realized she was saying them, barely a whisper, "Your son." Her breath caught as she heard it, staring at her tea willing the the words not to reach his sensitive ears.
Silence. An eternity, maybe two. This was not how she had planned to tell him, but the callous regard for their boy's tragic death pained her so.
"Get out!" He breathed.
She nodded with a defeated sniff, setting the cup on the table as she rose shamefully. Her mouth opened and closed several times, trying to say something she didn't have the voice to say. The courage she needed to look at him was nowhere to be found, so she picked up her purse and took a step, the next one took her away, the next she practically flew.
Any hope of achieving peace had been utterly dashed with two words. Tears fell, tears, she was not a crier, she was a master damn it; the complete surrender of her strength ran down her face. Why was the door so far away!
"I'm sorry," she choked pathetically as she finally reached the door. She flung the door open and ran, like a pathetic little girl, she ran not looking back. Her promise never to hurt him, she couldn't get away fast enough. She ran until her heart punished her rib and knives ravaged her lungs, and she kept running.
Brilliant, simply brilliant, Diane! And timely too. I wonder where you got your crystal ball, to be able to divine exactly what we're struggling with in your videos?
Great stuff, Diane ❤️ Thank you!!
It was relatable to me as I had written a scene in which a minor character named Pavol gets killed out of the cowardice of my protagonist Gary. As a punishment for his cowardice, Gary is now commanded to ride to Pavol's home and deliver word of his death to his wife (who respects Gary in a way you do to your idol). It was one of the toughest task for him.
That sounds like a highly emotional scene!
@@QuotidianWriter thanks, yeah it was. 😊
Just what I needed. I'm currently trying to spice up a scene that feels flat to me, even though it contributes to the plot, contains humor and raises some questions, and I couldn't figure out what was wrong with it :)
As for a source of conflict had to add to a scene to spice it up once... *thinks* Oh, I had this one scene in which there was a meeting. There was a bit of conflict between characters, but it was just the usual banter between them, so nothing very significant. It gave the reader the information I wanted it to give but wasn't actually interesting.
So, I split it and made it two scenes. The first was basically the first version of the scene, but at the end of it the reader discovers it was in fact merely an idealized version of the upcoming meeting fantasied by a character. The second is the REAL meeting, and turns out... the character that was supposed to help the scene along in the fantasy is 'sick' (he didn't want to have to confront the issue and didn't come) and so, even if the outcome it technically the same (character A, the one who plays sick, is chosen to accomplish task B), he really doesn't take it well, because the decision was taken while he wasn't even there...
I really love your voice! Really do!
Your intro gets me every time. One of the best on TH-cam.
Thanks for posting this. I appreciate the way you've taken the time to make your videos great. You didn't have to include the professional reading of the snippet from Divergent, but you did, and it rocks. Hooray for taking the time make cool stuff!
The content of your videos is pure gold. I couldn't thank you enough !
The pics of food makes me hungry... and the tips make me wanna write something...
I'm glad you used "Treasure Island" from 1990 with Charleton Heston, Christian Bale, Christopher Lee, Oliver Reed. Great movie production!
I love it. Great work. In my current w.i.p, my mc makes the bold choice of questioning orders from her boss.
sounds like a good book
How do you not have a million subs, your content is A++ thank you! ✅
Thanks again. I also link the advice in your video on writing with emotion. Having a question that doesn't have a direct answer and having conflicting feelings about something are also great ways tip add internal conflict to a scene.
Just found your channel and subscribed. Currently writing my own book that maybe I'll sell on Kindle one day... Also, thank you for using concrete examples of what you're talking about and not using jargon that may confuse me. I instantly liked your videos because of that.
I love your videos! Keep making them! Thanks!
From heading to a place of safety to fighting wraith is what I have cooked up.
Glad you produced another video.
Spice to a Scene:
i usually add irony to a scene. someone listening to a secret conversion or someone trying to send a message without directly saying it out loud, talking in code so only the clever ones get the message.
as someone trying to add mystery / questions every few pages, i try to give away the answer before the question is asked, so the questions answer themselves.
because when the reader starts to theorize, i know they are invested (For better or for worse)
Diane - You used the 1990 Treasure Island with Christian Bale, Charleton Heston, Oliver Reed, Cristopher Lee, and Directed, Written, and Produced by Fraser Heston. My all-time favorite version of this amazing story!
I recently (ish) jumped ahead in my writing to get to the a couple scenes I'd been itching to write. One being where my amnesiac MC meets, on the other end of a knife, what is essentially his best friend's secondary personality: a calculating and ruthless assassin. The second is where said MC finds out his wife is dead--and has been for 14 years. So not only is she dead, but it's old news for everyone else. Delicious!
youre always so wonderful to listen to thanks again diane really enjoy your perspective and voice
AWESOME tips! I will apply all them. Thank you so much!
Literally listened to every single one of your videos today. I really love what you're doing. Could definitely see your channel rising to the top.
Thank you so much for your kind words! :)
Love this video. I'm trying to learn more about writing in order to get better at roleplaying in games like Dungeons & Dragons, as well as running games of my own with a better idea of what I can do to make things more exciting and interesting for the players. I feel like I lack some kind of instinct or intuition for these kinds of things, so your videos are a big help. :)
Love love love your channel!
Thank you. Very helpful.
One of the scenes I am most proud of in my writing is where two best friends are surviving in the wilderness, trying not to get caught by a totalitarian government who is hunting them. In order to eat, one of the characters shoots a rabbit, and he and his best friend have an argument because the friend doesn't believe in killing animals. It built their characters and the world they lived in, as well as examining how different religious beliefs conflict in life and death scenarios. And I mean religious beliefs. The one character isn't just vegan, being complete pacifist is literally a pillar of his religion.
Very interesting!!
Here I am at 1AM, drooling over food images. My dear antagonist, Diane, pick up your wand!
Thank you. I always learn so much.
Quality content as always!
I love your videos :)
Your videos are immensely helpful and so beautifully produced. Thank you
I'm new to writing fiction and by extension new to videos such as these. I enjoy yours more than most. This one is especially timely as I am getting ready to write a story that will contain a fair amount of conflict. My most recent story has a great deal of conflict, much of internal based on choices the protagonist(s) made. You've given me some great pointers to consider as I write my next manuscript and revise the others. I'm bookmarking one. 😁 Great stuff. Thanks for posting.
Lol this one made me hungry. But I also got me thinking of the relationship between my MC and the main antagonist. At first, my MC admires-and even has a crush on-the main antagonist. I need to include a scene where that admiration is shattered to pieces, and this gave me a lot of ideas.
Thank you! I wrote a scene I loved but was thinking I had to cut it as it wasn't really necessary. By giving my protagonist an argument with her friend at the outset, I can keep it in
Please could you create a video on how to describe everyday sounds without using the words sounds. It would be so helpful :)
Oddly enough, I've been pondering this question for months, haha. Ever since I read this comment, I've been more attentive to how sounds are described in fiction, and I've come across three strategies: 1) onomatopoeic words that are italicized (V.E. Schwab uses this in "Vicious" to describe the characters shoveling dirt: *Thud. Thud. Thud.*), 2) descriptive verbs that act as onomatopoeia ("The wind whistled through the trees"), and 3) figurative language that compares the sound to some other well-known sound ("like nails on a chalkboard"). I came across a sentence in "A Game of Thrones" that basically uses all three: "Sansa heard it too, floating through the woods, a kind of wooden clattering, snack snack snack."
Here's a good resource for sound-evoking words: examples.yourdictionary.com/5-examples-of-onomatopoeia.html.
@@QuotidianWriter aw thank you so much, and so sorry for the vague question.
"Thwap". The sound of folded clothes dropped on a bed.
This is helpful! Thank you :) (also, go Nev!)
Further to earlier comments on other videos and suggestions made by you , I just did a re-write of the first scene of the work I am doing now. It is a lot more wordy because of the setting information. Not sure what to think of that. Some of the ingredients illustrated here I have used, such as conflict or apparent conflict between allies. I am a bit worried about losing control of the dish, however, but I will get the hang of it in other re-writes. I was at 11000 words of my first draft, and I have just realized that the minimalist Spy Who Came in from the Cold stands at some 60000... I think following through your advice might give me a 100 000 word manuscript. Incidentally, I have done another exercise you recommend: a copy and re-write of the first scene of Spy who came in from the Cold. My intention in the re-write was to speed up the information while keeping the same pace of action. In other words, say more with fewer words. In that, I succeeded, but re-reading what I wrote (which I think improves a little bit on Le Carré) I notice I inadvertently changed a character's... tone and probably his personality relative to the protagonist (and the original).
You do have to be careful not to overcorrect when it comes to adding setting and character information. As you said, some authors are more minimalist in their style, and it's perfectly okay to lean one way or the other. However, you should also take into account how many scenes it will require to tell your story vs. how many "The Spy Who Came in from the Cold" uses; John le Carré's novel contains twenty-six chapters, with the scene number being higher than that, given some chapters feature multiple scenes.
Sometimes writers think they need to trim the most on a sentence level, when in reality they need to cut material on a scene level. In this case, I advise writers to list every scene in their book and its purpose. (Scene 12: Larry goes to the butcher to ask about his missing wife. Purpose: He discovers she was spotted next door, which leads to him spying on the neighbors.) I find when I go through a manuscript with the mindset of "What can I cut to trim this down X number of words?", my brain will present scenes that aren't necessary to the narrative, even if they're written well. Murder your darlings and all that! If you're just starting your draft, it's typical to go long and cut it short when you're finished, and it's generally easier to trim than it is to add, although your mileage may vary. Keep writing! :)
I appreciate that you praised the good in novels that aren’t necessarily perfect 😂
Exercise: Take a bland scene and spice it up. The following is from my novel, a once bland scene with added bold moves and bitter news. Thank you for the help :)
-----
When all you have to base your new love on is the old one, how do you let go?
Under the Eiffel tower of Brooklyn-the Coney Island Parachute Jump-listening to the sounds of top forty radio, they danced. The loudspeakers were playing a remix of Camila Cabello’s hot summer tune. Ilya imagined Julia looking like Cabello. Same smoldering eyes, but strawberry blonde hair. He purred, “Julieta,” in her ear, as they stepped softly, slowly, now and then jabbing their hips, building up, swinging harder and harder: playing the bull and matador with their hips. Meanwhile families screamed in all directions. First, he would get close, work her pelvis. Next, she would spin, fan her fingers in his face, and laugh. Nearby, the rollercoaster zoomed by. Then, Julia tapped his shoulder. He grabbed and twisted her. Loudly, a wave broke on shore, leaving residue, washing back. That’s when Julia articulated her way up, to Ilya’s face, licked him, then sprinted off, to where the waves were. The rollercoaster ride was over. He chased her, to their bags, close to where she was squatting by the water, quiet, counting the number of shells in the sand.
As he squatted and kept silent, she mused: “Would you agree? There is no line between Coney Island and Brighton Beach, only one long beach. Any line you drew, the ocean would just wash it away.”
Squatting even lower, Ilya replied, “I agree. Only, I don’t think these apartments behind us all cost the same along this, so called, one beach.” His pants got wet in the sand.
Julia took this as her cue to speak what was really on her mind: “Tell me, young knight, does a damsel wait for you back home?”
“My roommate,” he said. “But it isn’t what you think.”
“You misunderstand the question.”
“No one,” said Ilya, feeling Julia look at him, but unable to return that look. “No one is waiting. I understood.” He took a breath as deep as he could, and held it, comically, hoping to make Julia laugh. But she wasn’t laughing. He exhaled. “I broke up with my girlfriend of two years last month.”
“It hurts, doesn’t it?
“Yes, yes it does.”
“I’m getting divorced this week,” said Julia.
Ilya could not, not think about what that meant for him and her. “You’re married?”
“Now you’re asking?” Julia laid her back against the wet sand, and with both hands moved her hair from under her head. She could hear the crackling of the beach and the crashing of waves underneath her thoughts. “No, not for long.”
Bravo 👏
*If only I could transfer all the conflict in my family to my book*
Maybe you can't do this, but you can write about it. So it will be in a book after all. Like an exorcism, or a tool to regain control by writing about it and giving it shape, and then choose an outcome for your story that would be cathartic for you.
I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS. Please make more.--In my latest WIP, Emily, my protagonist, investigates an attempt on a young girl’s life. In direct contravention of police orders to keep away, she enters the girl’s home and discovers her mother has been murdered. Warned again to “Back off,” and let the police handle the situation, Emily again ignores the warning and re-enters the crime scene. Here she discovers the police have missed some vital evidence, a clue to the killer’s identity. This raises a problem for Emily because the chief investigating officer on the case is her boyfriend, Colm O’Byrne, a Detective Sergeant and current commander of the local police department. Does she ‘fess up and tell all, or hide the information and continue her own investigation? Doing the latter will not only risk putting her relationship with Colm in jeopardy but will also place her in extreme danger. Danger that will take her to the edge of death.
Genius ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Do you do your own background music? It's mixed in with your narration very well.
Thank you! All of my music comes from the talented Vindsvept: th-cam.com/users/Vindsvept
I really liked this video! So well structured and great examples. I also learned that audiobooks are not for me, haha.
Thank you so much for watching! :) I definitely understand the "meh" feeling toward audiobooks; it took me until after college to really get into them. I've found that listening on 1.25 or 1.5 speed helps me stay engaged, as the narrators usually speak too slowly for my tastes. Some books are too difficult to comprehend through audio, and I have to read them in print, but for non-fiction and YA genre fiction, listening works for me. Memoirs are my absolute favorite in audiobook format, since they're usually read by the author, such as Trevor Noah's fantastic _Born a Crime_. As you can probably tell, I'm like an audiobook convert trying to reel others in, haha.
FYI "Clockwork"s" video is "unavailable.
Nicely presented - good info.
Thank you for pointing that out! I updated the link. :)
My spices are ghost pepper for my fourth episode of the Colorcons: in this episode ruby is settling in an alley with other homeless people. Celina couldn't believe she didn't find a home.(bitter) flashback to 2 days earlier when ruby is getting ready to move into Zack's place with her four friends helping. she was so excited to be living with Zack one problem his dad jason is strict,hot-tempered, and stubborn(sweet and sour) Diego tells ruby to not get on his nerves if she's going to live with Zack. Ruby has to learn how to being nice, gentle, and caring to impress jason.But will her tomboyish nature get the best of her when she meets jason or will she be forced to come clean about her color sprite heritage?
In my novel, my protagonist, Claudia, is a Roman girl who is prideful. Julia, her servant and friend, is usually subservient due to her status. So she normally doesn’t speak out of turn or stand up for herself because her previous owners would punish her. There’s a small moment where Claudia and Julia are lost in a market and they need a specific item. They meet twin girls who offer assistance. Julia, knowing Claudia’s state of mind at this point, makes a comment, “Actually, we’re rather lost.” Claudia glares at her slave for speaking out of turn, as she’s not used to that. It’s a small moment, but I’m proud of it lol! I don’t like scenes where characters are at each other’s throats constantly.
I'd love to see you do a video on POV.
222nd like and 33rd comment.... cool! Thanks for another fantastic video!!!!
There's one scene in particular, something that I'm extraordinarily proud of, involving the love interest of the story learning that the protagonist is from a race of monsters he's been fighting his entire life to eradicate. The reveal leaves him off-kilter and when he's disoriented, the love interest is the sort of person to stab whatever's causing him confusion, causing him to, naturally, lash out at the protagonist. It just ends in the entire thing escalating into what would be a fight scene but the protagonist instead restrains the love interest and wipes his memory of them, revealing to the audience that this isn't their first time revealing this truth, romancing the love interest or, supposedly, doing any of the actions that they've taken since the protagonist and love interest met and I think it was a good example of both conflict between characters and throwing the reader for a loop.
Patroclus was Achilleus' lover.
Treasure Island is a great adventure story
I’m writing a play about the Austrian Martyr Frank Jagerstatter. Frank believes it would be immoral, even sinful, to serve in Hitler’s army. Grams and his
cousin are both on deferred service as farmers. They receive word that their deferments have been revoked and they must report for duty or be arrested and charged with desertion. The penalty is death. His cousin argues that his overriding responsibility is to his wife and daughters, Frank argues that like his cousin’s example he always treated him with respect even though he was
Illegitimate. As his cousin chose friendship Franz must honor his relationship with Christ.
Aaaaaand now I'm hungry
I choose ghost pepper!
Whoever you are, you have a unique voice... And the video was excellent, as usual. :)
I haven't actually written the scene but my story is built off of conflict between two brothers. The younger brother ends up running away to get out of an arranged marriage. The night before he runs away the older brother tries to talk him out of it. The older brother is very angry that the younger brother is leaving the family. The younger brother is angry at the older brother for not trying to look at it from his perspective.
That sounds like excellent conflict!
5:39 : Dick Van Dyke makes a vocal appearance! Gawwd bliss ya Muury Puppins
I am sleep deprived right now, so take my opinions and statements with a grain of salt XD
I think the spice comes out where a character clashes with the plot he's in. Like... a character who is not meant to speak up, who is a servant, or otherwise suppressed... who desperately NEEDS to speak up in that very moment.
I, as the author, made the choice to put them in this position, and I chose to force their hand. Whatever they do in response to this pressure, will certainly be spicy in some way.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, I don't feel like you can take a bland scene and artificially add spice to it after the fact, if that makes sense.
Because in a bland scene, the character is reasonably comfortable in the space the plot gives them. To spice up that scene, I'd need to add a dent to the plot that would otherwise not be there.
I don't know, maybe that's just me. Or maybe it's the insomnia talking.
As for a spicy scene... I think the best example I have is the engagement of my protagonists.
It's a forbidden love, both parties torn apart by rank, status, culture and war itself... But there are lives on the line, honor, pride and the future of an unborn child...
There were malevolent forces trying to break them, to keep their union from ever happening... and just when it seemed like there would be no hope... the traitor, the servant, the dull warrior speaks up in front of the emperor himself, and asks for the princess' hand in marriage.
And for some reason the emperor gives his blessing, shocking every single person in the room. There are tears, there is laughter, there is joy... but there is horror too.
Ooh, that's great phrasing: "the spice comes out where a character clashes with the plot he's in." I think with a bland scene, you basically need to rewrite it from scratch (dammit, can't escape the cooking puns). If the situation isn't putting pressure on the character when it could be, then they need to be put in a different situation. I see what you mean, though, about shaping the plot around the character rather than the character around the plot, as people will react differently to the same situation. The conflict needs to be at odds with that particular character's goals and/or personality. Your engagement scene sounds interesting because it's full of surprise! The reader might wonder about the emperor's ulterior motives in allowing that engagement. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! :)
@@QuotidianWriter I agree.
When a scene is bland, it can't be "spiced up" without changing the foundation of that scene.
And with the symbiosis of character and plot, I feel like it has to be like like a happy marriage, if that makes sense. Like, there have to be parts that balance each other out and work in harmony, but there have to be differences and clashing aspects too. If it's all streamlined it's boring, if it's all clashing it'll be exhausting to follow along.
Maybe it's because I do have a rather character-driven style of writing and plotting, but I truly believe that the spiciest scene will fall completely flat without a character to breathe life into it!
Anyways, I'm always happy to talk about writing and stories, so it was my pleasure!
PS: Thanks! My readers were indeed very surprised and had a lot of questions XD
@9:18 YOU WATCH ONE PIECE?!?!?
Patroclus was not Achilles' friend. He was Achilles' lover.
I just make the character eat red chilly in the scene and the scene is spicy for sure. Easy kids too basic
Just throw in some steaks. Hell, make it a feast!
Phenomenal visuals and dialog but it goes so fast I need to watch it twice
One Piece!
Do villains
“Best friend” Petroclus ah yes, they were simple roommates, cousins, even.
"The Song of Achilles" by Madeline Miller is calling to me... 😁
@@QuotidianWriter It’s also been portrayed/interpreted as romantic many times in ancient history, but later readers denied it because gay :(. I think there was even a movie where they made them cousins lol.
My Newest Conflict Scene - After Mrs W demands to see her new bi-racial grandson, her husband flies into a rage and beats her face, resulting in black, purple, green, yellow discoloring days later. Later, when Mr W is beating a slave, with all plantation slaves forced to observe, Mr W calls on her to bring him his pistol. She does so, and as he turns to receive the weapon, she shoots her husband in the face, shredding flesh and shattering his cheekbone. "I seed it, Missus," says a field hand. "Dat ole gun done misfahr agin." "Yassum, Missus," other slaves agree, "I see it misfahr." He lives, but she flees to another state to join her son's family, never to return to her husband.
Neville was right though. There was no need to go find the stone, because Voldemort didn't have a chance to get it.
Ahhh', I'm sorry. While it's, indeed, a good lesson on how to add conflict to a scene, it is the stupidest sceene I've come up to (this is not a critique for Diane, but to the writer of the novel). So... She is spea,king up to someone she doesn'nt want to speak up to, he chalenges her to get in front of the knives and she just does so. She just goes in front of the knives instead of speaking up to this badass as she did 2 minutes ago. Siriously?
I don't know.. she spoke up as a reflex to defend the kid.. which is different to speaking up to defend yourself. I thought it was consistent that her next move was to prove her dauntlessness.
You don’t want to put a strong smell on the scene
Most of these conflicts are damn superficial and trivial.
As are most conflicts in life! ;) What about them do you find superficial and trivial?
Not in my life... And if spice is needed for a scene, the scene was not necessary in the first place.
@@ALSeth-Storyteller In my experience, there are scenes in novels that are necessary to progress the plot but that aren't conveyed in a conflict-rich way.
The scenes I use as examples could've been portrayed differently. In "Divergent," the author wants to show the danger of the training, in addition to characterizing the differences between the two leaders. She could've shown this through Al going up and getting knives thrown at him. That would've had the same intended effect but without involving the protagonist. However, the version where Tris volunteers is better because it creates more tension and has a long-term effect on her dynamic with Four and Eric.
In "Treasure Island," the main plot progression is that the captain has found out about the mutiny. Jim *and* the captain could've overheard the pirates talking about the mutiny together. Instead, only Jim overhears it and he has to tell the captain himself. The same outcome would happen in either case, but it's more interesting if Jim has to deliver the bad news himself.
With the Harry Potter example, the trio could've left the room without encountering any obstacles. The ending could've just had Dumbledore awarding Gryffindor extra points for Harry, Ron, and Hermione's bravery alone. But it's more interesting that the extra points come from Neville standing up to his friends and that we have that scene showing friends facing off.
In these stories, the same outcomes could've been achieved in blander ways, but the authors chose methods that give readers clashes between characters. I hope that helps clarify what I meant by "adding spice." :)
I didn't mean these examples per se, I meant trivial conflicts authors add to the scene for trivial pay-offs. There're more choices that simply between bland or trivial, like dramatic-irony, black-comedy or tragedy. Tension is one of them but most writers don't know how to write a payoff anyway.
In Divergence, Tris should have been reprimanded by either one or both leaders for speaking out of turn. Instead the writer used it to develop some sleazy teeny romance between the characters.
In HPPS, Harry got the extra-points anyway... after defeating Voldemort and successfully stealing the stone (for points!? lol). Neville got rewarded for being an annoyance.
The Treasure Island is pretty good and if you like it, I highly recommend the series BLACK SAILS which takes inspiration from the book. There's nothing trivial in it that're not hilarious or have serious payoffs.
@@ALSeth-StorytellerAs a reader, I enjoy trivial payoffs because I value the nuances of character relationships, but I definitely understand wanting greater payoff. In "Divergent," Four does reprimand Tris after that scene; it is not exactly a romantic moment, although they are obviously love interests. Different readers are bound to have different tastes, and you seem to prefer darker and more serious works, but I like to draw from a wide variety of genres and approaches. "Black Sails" looks like an interesting show! I appreciate you elaborating on your thoughts.
I don't understand why you choose Harry Potter since, for me, there is no memorable scene. I feel no connection to Harry or others characters. All JK Rowling does is choosing the architect writing, forcing characters to do this or that and make the adult dumber to advance the plot. They are not organic or real, they are toys to satisfy the readers rather than themself as a person. It's an excuse to present the fictional world. I don't understand the hype. I never liked Rowling after reading the first book.
Yes, the point is to spice a scene, that's why I came here. I believe that even the most banal scene is the most useful to present a character or a situation. Like filler belongs to the story. Attention to detail intrigues me, yet it's hard to spot when writing.
Who else thought this was going to be about how to make a scene Sexy?
Such false advertising!
The scene you chose was written be computer program.
How?
You train the program with all the schloky similar scenes through the years and presto!...there it is. Totally predictable.
That HP audiobook was extremely terrible
I respect you and your knowledge, and I really really wanna like you and watch your videos, but every time I try the pseudo-dramatic way you read your scripts, espcially when reading excerpts of books, drives me fucking crazy.