Gender transition - Discovering My Sexual Self
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 ต.ค. 2024
- As a single man undergoing gender transition, I have been questioning my sexuality, as well as attempting to heal from traumatic and unhelpful sexual experiences in the past. I have recently had a sexual awakening and epiphany, a complete sexual paradigm shift in fact and I am discovering aspects pf my sexuality previously buried deep in my subconscious. I feel I have just begun what looks to be a most awesome sexual adventure!
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Welcome to my channel! I write and make videos about recovery, mental health, gender transition and personal growth. There is also always a dash of silly on the side. Subscribe for weekly updates and join the ‘FinnFam’ over on Facebook for additional updates and live videos! If you would like to support what I do with a kind donation of any size I would be very humbled and very grateful www.paypal.me/...
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finn , the most shocking part to me of this video is that you're 43! dude what fountain of youth are you drinking from because Im amazed! I would have said early to mid 30s at the most! As always, I love your personality and videos. Love from Louisville KY
Ah ha! Yes I am told that often! I think the years as an alcoholic pickled me and so now I look well preserved!!! Thanks so much for for your lovely comments and much love back to you!
FinnTheInfinncible lve been following awhile (and watch every video) and every once in awhile I comment. You just have an amazing personality and when Im having a bad day your videos make me smile! I need your positive outlook! Also good luck to you in whatever adventures your love life takes you on! Much love all the way from Louisville KY. 😊😊
You literally brought me to tears, I am SO HAPPY FOR YOU!! I'm just a boring old straight woman, married for 25 years, so I haven't had to deal with the life changing issues you've had to deal with. But after I had my two children I COMPLETELY 100% lost my sex drive for FIFTEEN YEARS, so I understand your frustration and your desire to understand WHY you weren't able to feel sexual when you knew you SHOULD. When my sex drive came back (which happened in an instant and for no apparent reason :p) I felt just like you seem to feel right now: excited, ready to try anything, to be touched in new ways and simply thankful to feel "normal". I'm just so happy to see you this excited about your sexuality, and so willing to open yourself up to new experiences!! Keep living your life and don't let anything hold you back, Finn! I'm rooting for you! XOXO
Thank you for sharing that with me, yes thats exactly it, to feel "normal", to have your body respond in ways it should, just feels such a relief and a huge joy. I am not going to let anything make me squash this back down now, I am taking deep breaths and moving into uncharted waters, following my instincts and trying whatever calls me!!!! Thank you so much for your kindness!
Thank you for sharing this part of your journey. I've never felt so much joy while listening to someone else talk about their sexual experience. Your voice, your body language, just every bit of your energy shows that so much healing has happened for you and it's amazing!
+ShawnKieran thank you so much for such a kind comment my friend! I seriously can't convey the full extent of the healing aspect of this experience. I just have been taken aback by how it happened, i just couldn't have imagined it!! I also can't belive just how much repression was taking place inside myself without my knowledge! I feel set free in every way possible!!!!!
No one deserves this paradigm shift more than you! Your giddiness is adorable and utterly infectious:) Never saw such HUGE smiles before! Couldn't have happened to a better guy!!
+Gilraen Kat bless you for your kindness! Thank you!
Omfg 10:48
I FELT your excitement and it made ME smile! That's so cute and important and wonderful!
As someone who also had very bad previous experiences and spent 10 years in a bad relationship and have been single for 2.5 years now and am, for the first time, starting to explore potential relationship options... Seeing something like this is SO amazing, and I'm so happy for you.
Oh my god thats wonderful! You are so lovely! I wish you such a joyful exploration!!!!!!!
Just watched this. Should be named ‘Finn: The Awakening’ Such an emotional video x
AW bless ya! That was one INTENSE summer of love!!!!
I had such a weird flow of feelings watching this, very happy for you dude. You should explore your sexuality. Work things out, have the things that you want. Never be ashamed of your desires, never again!
Thank you lovely, it feels good to be realising the extent of how much shame was holding me back and to feel it lift and allow me to explore the wonderful world of sex and intimacy!
You are AMAZING! Thank you for being so vulnerable, brave, open and honest about your experience. If everyone were able to be so transparent and genuine the world would be a better place.
What an absolutely lovely comment! I have to say I agree! I do find that my transparent sharing opens up wonderful conversations, and so as hard as it sometimes is, it has many benefits! Thank you for waching and for your kindness!
I appreciate this because I've felt similarly about my sexuality through my transition process, and even though I've been happily out for years now, I'm just starting to untangle my sexuality from lingering dysphoria. I've only recently started considering phallo and have been doubting whether it's worth doing because in the past I've found sex just...kind of lacking. Not horrible, just not what I want it to be, and I haven't been sure if it's for dysphoria reasons or if I just inherently don't like sex that much. The problem is, I WANT to like sex, so your experience is really encouraging!
This is so beautiful, thank you so much for sharing Finn
Goodness yes! Thats exactly how its been for me, recovery and transition made it all feel so new and confusing to the extent it seems I somehow shut down so much without being aware. To feel my whole inner sexual world open up like this is such a joyful feeling, I keep being flooded with emotion and want to cry from the exquisite happiness and relief!!!!! Thank you for your kindness!
Thanks for being such an amazing role model!!
You are so kind, thank you for thinking so!
Jess and I both cried with joy for you watching this ❤️ I'm so happy for you Finn!! It was a very similar experience for me finding Jess, I never thought I could be so open and present during sex - the combination of Jess and lower surgery (and recently some help from a mutual friend as well ;)!) have changed everything in a way I didn't think was possible.
Oh you are both so lovely!!! I am so glad to hear this has been your experence too, I wish this for everyone who has ever had issues with sex and intimacy, I did not know what I was missing!!!!!!!
I am so very happy that you have had this precious experience of embracing your manhood and your sexuality. Your whole affect is a joy to watch. I know you will keep your eyes on your Higher Power and do the next right thing (can you detect a tiny bit of mothering love here? Yes, there is a part of me that also worries about your being hurt! But I know how important it is to explore your boundaries.) Sending so much love and lots of hugs!
Im so grateful for you feeling that way about me. Yes its highly possible I will get hurt along the way, thats life and I am ok with that if it means I get to grow in a way that previously has been inaccessible for me. I am staying mindful and balanced, it helps that she is very good at conscious communication and honesty and is giving me positive examples of how to do intimacy with boundaries and safety. Sending warm grateful hugs back to you! x x x
I'm so so so so happy for you, I wish you all the best and good luck on that date ;)
+Rayne Foxfrost thank you so much! There is another vlog currently rendering aboutmw thoughts before the date! Will update after too!!!
Ohhh i'm so happy for you, Finn!
I really wish you the best of luck exploring yourself (and others!!)
A up my Sunshiney Finn!!!! I did a bunch of spontaneous double-thumbs-up at the screen while watching this and I love the way you show so openly what it's like for you. Like you describe how she asked you something, practically double over in an 'Oh my god' kind of way, look at the camera again with a clear 'So I said yes'. This is exactly how jumping in the deep end can be so worthwhile no matter what the outcome is, but nobody needs to tell you that ;) Love you bae!
Oh I love you too! Embracing my fears is liberating, Im so glad I do that nowadays rather than run as I used to! I really loved sharing this! Thank you for enjoying it too!
I'm excited for you, Finn! I mean, not just for having sex lol... I'm excited that you've finally been able to release and discover things about yourself that had been squashed down before. The joy on your face is so great to see... I kept smiling along with you. You're adorable lol
I love your excitement for me!! Thank you! I did not realise just how much I needed this new phase of development!!!!
Your happiness and excitement is infectious! :) It's great to hear you're healing and exploring. And keeping a cool head about it, too, all things considered :D
awww finn I'm so happy for you!
before I started T I was strictly into women, then when I started T and started feeling more comfortable with my self I became more open to the thought of "Hmmm maybe I do like men?". I'm still yet to be with a man in a sexual way but I do have feelings, both emotional and sexual, towards men and towards anyone of any gender/expression tbh 😂, I no longer limit myself 😉.
❤
Isnt it a wonderful feeling, to not limit oneself! I am very excited for my date with a man tommorow and I look forward to reporting back!
FinnTheInfinncible I look forward to hearing about your date 😄 I wish you all of the luck in the world ❤
Thank you so much, the vlog is now up!
Wonderful. Just wonderful. I think that the intricacies of how our sexualities evolve in transition are something we need to discuss far more openly-- so glad you shared this.
I completely agree my friend!!! Thank you!!!
what a great update, I did get a brew as advised! thanks for sharing, you do seem like alot of relief has occurred ;) your mood has certainly lifted..all good things
Glad you got a brew, it was long wasnt it!!!! My mood had begun to lift before this but now....well....Im on the ceiling!!! I hadnt realised how much my sexual shut down was linked to my mood, i thought it was all dysphoria based....I love personal growth....especially of the sexual kind!!!!
FinnTheInfinncible im.glad your feeling better it shows, I dont mind long videos especially from you I could listen all day
You are so lovely!!!
Thank you for sharing your journey - AMAZING - INSPIRING - HONEST - THOUGHT PROVOKING - CONNECTING - SOUL SEARCHING - REFLECTIVE - triggered something in me - will be watching again x thank you
What a lovely comment to find, thank you!
Oh I´m so happy for you Finn! I´m looking forward to seeing your coming videos as well :)
Thank you so much! I have a feeling there might be quite a few this week!!!!!!
loved this update - full of life! Not so much of an epiphany as much as a complete 180, but I've recently started dating a man after resolutely only dating female people (including while sort of being one) and it's going so well I cant quite beleive it!
Amazing! So pleased for you, isnt this discovery bloody wonderful!!!!!
I am so happy for you! I'm glad you found a woman who is helping you heal and awakening your body and showing you your healthy sexual self. I'm also really glad you put in about feeling like a virgin because you were exploring sober for the first time. I had a friend express the same thing to me on her first sober date. She was terrified and had no idea how to proceed without alcohol. She made it and was fine after being brave and taking that first trusting leap. It's something I think a lot of people go through when they get clean finally. Happy touching Finn!
I am so happy for you! The whole way you express shows how much confindence and joy you must have gained form this experience. It is incredible what is possible when we just face our fears. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for watching! I really cannot believe what a huge turn around Ive had in every way possible regarding sex and intimacy because of this wonderful woman! My sexual confidence is huge, Ive done things and asked for things that just a short month ago I would never have voiced. Incredible!
We are so so excited for you Finn, just feel filled with joy and excitement for you after meeting this earth angel in your life. How amazing that she just appeared when you needed, so much healing and newness happening in your life, real soul opening stuff. We can relate also, especially to the experience of sexuality in sobriety arriving in your 40's! As a couple we have had similar experiences together, like a waking sexuality so we feel so happy and excited for you as you step on to this journey....it's also fantastic to see you happy! Loved loved this vlog so much, thank you for a beautiful, honest, inspiring start to our day across the miles ......Kia kaha from Aotearoa ( stay strong from NZ 🌈😘)... you're a wonderful man 🙏🏽😍🌈❤️
Such a beautiful comment, thank you. Perfect way to describe my woman too, an earth angel indeed, she really feels heaven sent!!!! It makes me happy to know this was your experience too, its just so precious!!! Much love to you both
Thank you for sharing such an intense and personal experience. So happy for you Finn! It sounds like you've met a really special person, almost like it was THE first time and everything fell into place. Blessings❤️
Thats exactly how it felt, like it was my first time, and it really was, in so many ways! Thank you for your kind words
this is really nice to see because i feel like i relate to how u spoke about yourself just as you got on T like my sex drive is through the roof but im so against having someone touch me that i cant wait for top surgery and a peen just to feel like ill be able to have that closeness with a human being, idk nice to know there is hope.
also glad you found someone that can impact you life in the way this woman has, you can tell the happiness you feel just talking in this video man.
Its so hard to connect with our bodies sexually when they feel so alien isnt it? This wonderful woman helped me to see that actually my body configuration is fine...more than fine....no less male....and attractive.....! I am just so in awe of feeling all that for the first time. Explore yourself for now, Ive done a lot of that this year and I think that helped in this new venture too
Hey Finn stoked for you buddy! Enjoy 👍 so much resonates with me!
+Sandra Allsopp ah really! That's awesome!
What an appropriate t-shirt for you to wear during this vlog! :) I'm so happy for you Finn. I hope you enjoy this new journey and thank you for sharing your life with us. xx I'm glad to hear you're doing fine.
Finnnnn!! Best video EVER! So happy for you mate 🐻🙌🏽💥
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Thank you!!!!!!
This was so lovely to watch. Seeing you so happy :). Relationships are an odd one. If you ever want to chat about non manogamy, lemmie know. I am so so pleased for you. It's a different dating world out there now, go have fun!
Oh god Im so frigging excited!! yes! Would love to chat, I need to!!!
Fantastic Finn! So incredibly proud of you, I'm so glad you're so happy and discovering yourself!
So happy for you on your journey! That sounds amazing. I relate a lot to the fears and mental/emotional block you talked about. I think one day I'd like to work with someone who does that kind of bodywork. I've always struggled with that stuff and at times it's very distressing. I think part of it is related to dysphoria, and I'm interested in how it might change over time.
Ah thank you! Yes, I can honestly say that she did change so much for me, it may on the surface seem like a strange proffession but it works!
So happy for you Finn! Congratulations on finding completeness has a man!
M J thank you so much my kind friend!
Omg dude! Omg dude. I am so happy for you. I got tears in my eyes. I know how dysfoor you can be. In a week or eight I will start T.
+Noah Jacobi bless you fella thank you. Massive congrats to you!
This is such a lovely vlog. I thank you for opening up like this, it helps me. So much of what you say I totally related to.
Thanks so much my dear friend
im so happy for you bud. im a virgin and asexual so i personally don't understand sex but im so happy that you are happy.
Thank you so much my friend!
Well done Finn, learn ,live, luv, like, but most of all have fun.
absobloominglutely! Thank yu!!!!
we all have to figure ourselves out. happy for this progress for you.
Thanks buddy! This was so unexpected! I think thats what makes it extra special!!!!
sometimes the unexpected is what we need
I couldnt agree more!!!
I'm really happy to hear you had such a wonderful, healing experience. Everyone deserves such a beautiful experience. My ex was my only sexual partner I've ever had (besides my left hand and toys), and I'd really like to have partnered sex again at least once in this lifetime. Part of me almost wishes I could have a one-night stand just so I could feel sexually desirable and know what it's like to have passionate, spontaneous sex with someone who doesn't hate kissing.
It really is true that most people have two first times. Once is the first physical time (whatever kind of sex they have, since intercourse isn't the only way to have "real" sex), and the second is the first time someone really starts to enjoy it, feel relaxed, have an emotional component, etc.
Ahhhh!!! CUDDLE PARTEH!!! I love this idea soooo much!!
It was incredible! Highly recommend! Did you see my video on it?
Not yet. Been binge watching you on down time at work. I'll b checking that out, too. LOOOVE your channel. I've been watching your begining vlogs and am feeling very..... a lot of it i identify with.... also, seeing you talk about how ur face fuz grew in was cute. Im an unlucky woman to be able to grow one without t being introduced....
thanks a bunch for sharing, very happy for you for discovering yourself further.
Thank you my friend!
Fantastic news Finn so happy for you!!! Very interested in what she does is it sexalogical? Sorry if i got that wrong i am in the process of recovery from sexual traumas from my childhood through therapys and this sounds amazing too me any info i would appreciate greatly! Much love again so happy for you 🖖💚
Yes its sexological body work, she has a particular interest in working with trans people and there are other SB practitioners that specialise too. I am going to get some links for you!
Right, this should help! sexologicalbodyworkers.org/what-is/
Fantastic i am trans also ftm i have found being out made me far more comfortable having sex but still have barricades with traumas holding me back currently having a quarter life crisis at 24 being celibate for 6 months so thank you Finn for this information i hope i learn something or gain a better understanding of myself! 🖖💚
You're Beautiful inside and Wonderful outside, a honest, sincere, complete Man.😘❤
This sounds so positive! May I email you? I have some thoughts I'd like to share with you, but don't want to do so publicly. No problem if not... 😁
I would love that! I suggest over on the Finnfam community page, you can send me a PM there facebook.com/finntheinfinncible/
Great to see you back!
Finn - i'm very happy to hear and gushing that you've had such a positive experience with sex and you've found someone whom you connect with so profoundly. Like you I can't connect to myself sexually because of fear and it intimidates me as well i get the feeling you've felt this in the past yourself? - take care dear friend and i hope the dates goes well next week! p.s. so happy you're coming back around to yourself.
I'm here for you to do so
It's so great to know this CAN happen. I'm between stage 2 and 3 rn myself, and I'm still so sexually... terrified and paralyzed. I have trust issues, I have serious imposter syndrome around gay men... I'm not sure where to find an experience like this.
Omg Finn! I'm so happy for you!! 💜
Haha great vid. :-) Good luck with it all buddy :-) :-)
Rockin' UK thank you!!!!! 😁😁😁😁😁
Fantastic! So happy for you xx
Thank you!!!!
Sometimes I wonder if I am not to old to start T ? I am almost 53 years of age. So is it still worth it? I don't known. But what I do known is that I am a gay man inside and if I don't transition to a man people will read me as a butch woman and that's not going to help me find a suitable future partner.
You are never too old to be who you are supposed to be 💜
you are so amazing for sharing your story!!
Thank you for thinking so!
So grateful for your frankness! I've never had a sexual awakening and being asexual feels like a disability to me. I don't have the option of a relationship or even a hook-up and compromising just made me feel used no matter how nice person they were. Fingles crost in a yaer Isle be on t and kinda born again.
+Captain Franco bless you buddy. Things change in time, l never expected to be dating let alone having sex. Just look after yourself, stay close to your supportive places and trust that things will unfold in the way they are supposed too.
FinnTheInfinncible Absolutely! I'm confident of my path and proud to have found it. Btw you are dead handsome!
What a beautiful vlog. Ah!
Thank you!
I'm so happy for you!
Thank you!!!!!!
Hi Finn,
I hope you get this. I love your videos. And I love how positive you are. I know this is an old video, and I really don’t know what’s happening with you now. I hope you have even more sensation now. I am recovering from top surgery. The next step will be phalloplasty. But I have to recover. I have a lot of health issues and am 55, and top surgery was a bit harrowing.
Because my immune system isn’t the greatest, I am thinking I don’t need a urethra or a prosthetic for erectness, but I am curious about what they do with the vagina. Did you have to have a vaginectomy? I have heard that is a brutal surgery, and I am wondering if I can avoid that? If they don’t do that, would they close the vagina up anyway? Do you know anyone who has had a phalloplasty, the scrotum done without removal of the vagina or it’s total closure? Do you have any thoughts on that? I can’t find any info about that. Thank you, Thomas
Hello Finn. I'm a male RN of 30 years. I'm 55 now. I didn't know that being gay was an option so I tried to do everything that I thought I was supposed to do. I did fall in love with a woman and got married. Long story short, I attempted suicide because I could not live and deny who I really was. However, I reached that place after fathering 6 children. (2 were stillborn, 1 had multiple birth defects). Anyway, I think you should talk to a MD or RN who can prescribe meds to help with all of these extreme feelings. My psychiatrist prescribed Xanax PRN. You are suffering through such extremes that your journey through self-discovery is not letting you process each feeling, thought, event, conversation, etc. in the best thorough way. Seriously, you need some thing to calm the extremes so you don't miss out on the best of it all.
Hi my friend. Im so sorry to hear of your struggles, thank goodness things have changed in the world!
Thank you for your concern about me, although I do take an antidepressant I avoid taking too much medication as I find its not helpful, you have to feel it to heal it as they say!
These feelings really are not too extreme, I have absolutely loved the way my sex and relationship world has opened up and given me opportunities to explore new things and new people. Its been a very positive thing giving me lots of self growth!
So happy for you...
Thank you so much my friend
Finn, I have decided you're my dad now.
LMAO! I am honoured!
WOAHWOAHWOAH!!!! Here I am thinking you're my age-ish... 26...
Ah my goodness...I love you! Ill take 26 thank you!
FinnTheInfinncible 😚
I feel like a 34 virgin I totally get where u are coming from
Not just me then! Still, it's fun 're learning!!!!
Def not just you it’s funny I told my best friend I feel like a virgin more nerves doing it now then I was at 17 lol
This made me cry because I want this for myself so much. Don't get me wrong, I am so happy for you. I want to want sex so bad.
+Mikey Cooper bless you buddy. With the right person it will happen, likely when you least expect it!!!!
Bravo well said
Ah thanks so much!
❤️
How exciting, and how wonderful to see you so happy.
Trish Rowland I have no idea what's going to happen next and I'm so excited about that!!!!
They seem like a lovely person but attempting to cure trauma with sex is just a more sophisticated bandaid than being avoidant of sex.
Family of origin is the issue at core.
Trauma arises for many reasons, mine largely to do with living with undiagnosed gender dysphoria for so many years. And, the ways we overcome our past and trauma is very individual. The way I dealt with dealing with my sexual and intimate issues worked for me. I needed to experience being with people intiately, enjoying closeness, enjoying being touched and touching others, having people love and accespt my differntly cofigured body. These were all powerful healing tools for me which have opened up an entirely new level of experience and enjoyment.
Haaaaaa!!!!! Yesssssss!!!!! :DDD
+ollieapril 😍😍😍😍😍
Absolutely fantastic Finn! Great video, so happy for you. Love you man, happy exploring 😁👍🏻