I'm a new widow myself, Kyle. My darling wife passed a few weeks after your Jenny. I told my counsellor the same thing this week. I'm in limbo still, but being shunted about on a roller coaster of emotions. It is so hard, your Jenny was so amazing but she'd be proud of you for showing the world that feeling griefstricken is okay and not something we should hide. You are also a wonderful father and doggy dad, you're doing her proud. Limbo is very confusing but it's where we are. Sending you a huge hug from the UK x
Bless you darling ,I'm so sorry you lost your wife ,it is heartbreaking to lose a partner or child ,and you find the first of everything is always the hardest ,first birthday ,Christmas anniversary ,etc im sending you a big hug ,I'm also from the UK 🇬🇧, love and prayers to you ❤️
I’m not YOUR Jenny, but I am a 33-year-old Jenny with a very similar story, roles reversed. My husband, totally previously healthy, never smoker, was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer in June. We have two young kids and took the drastic step of having his left lung removed in hopes for more time. I don’t have the answers - just a train on a track that I can’t stop no matter how hard I try. But I feel privileged your Jenny pushed you to keep posting. She is so radically proud of your courage. For whatever it is worth, I am, too.
Praying The name of Jesus over your husband that complete healing is upon his chest God bless your courageous battle in this fight one must win and i belive that Jesus can do anything. Praying
I became a widow at the age of 31 and I am now 68. My husband and I were only married for 12 years and I felt like I was cheated out of a long life with him. I went through the exact same emotions and questions that you are dealing with now. How was I going to get through this. I raised four kids alone, my son was 11 and my daughters were 7, 3 and 6 weeks old when my husband died. In a way it was an illness because he took his life. That seemed to make my “friends” not want to be around me anymore. Thank goodness I had my Mom to help me at the time. You are doing an amazing job raising your children. I enjoy watching you take them on adventures, celebrating Jenny’s birthday, carrying on traditions Jenny had with them and always keeping her memory alive. Keep being the wonderful Dad that you are. God Bless!
So sorry about your husband Holly. I cried reading your story. Your little girl never got to meet her daddy so that is heartbreaking alone. I hope you talk about him and show her pictures of him so she knows how wonderful her daddy was. It’s hard to go through life without him but you have to be strong for your kids. He lives on thru your children so that has to bring some comfort I hope. I do hope you are doing well and your children as well. Take care, Holly 💐💐🌷🌷
I lost my fiancé to suicide. Very hard. But, I realized God only loans people to us. Our earthly life is temporary but our eternal life is with our heavenly father. I will always cherish my memories with loved ones who have passed on. But, I look forward to what God has in store for my life. Life is precious. Enjoy every moment God gives you.
I am so sorry for your loss ,suicide is one of the hardest to understand ,as I'm sure a lot of us know , a loss is a loss ,just take comfort ,that one day ,you will see each other again ,sending you love and prayers ❤️
Very good concept of "Loan". Lost a nephew to suicide, lost my brother to Covid. Thank you for saying they are on loan from God...really cool way to look at it.
My husband of 50 years is now on Hospice and I can't see myself without him. We are so close. I never thought I could be so close to someone. I hate watching him waste away. It's really killing me. I pray everyday that I go before him so I won't have to spend one single day or one single second without him. Only people such as yourself understands what I'm going through. I don't have anybody to talk to. I'm in this by myself. I have no family or friends, and I'm feeling like I'm stuck in limbo right now. Thank you for sharing this. I'm so glad you have this TH-cam channel because you have so many people who care about you, and you can turn to them when you're feeling down. I'm hoping and praying everyday for you and your children. Please know that many care.
You are not alone. We are here thinking of you. You will get through this. You are stronger than you know and are and will always be taken care of by the divine. ❤
I'm so sorry you are facing this alone. Tomorrow is my 42nd wedding anniversary and I would feel the same if I were in your position. We've been together since we were 20 years old. Sending love, light, and healing prayers your way.❤🙏
Kyle, this is one of the most powerful, honest, and best videos on grief I have ever seen. I hope you know how many people you and Jenny have impacted and helped! Please hang in there. 🙏🏻
She said she just wants you to be happy. The video in the hospital when she was dying. She loves you and probably wouldn't want you to put this much pressure on yourself. ❤
Very true. I will keep him and his kids in my heart, as I will all widowers. it’s a long process, life does get better, just very, very slowly . One day at a time Kyle . One hour, one minute, one sometimes. Keep the counseling up with a trusted, knowledgeable grief counselor for sure ❤🙏👍🏻.
Age doesn’t matter in death, when you lose someone, IT HURTS!!!! It’s been 7 years since I lost my husband, but it feels like yesterday. Some days are better than others, but you’re right, we have to start over, I’ve been doing that, but our loved ones don’t want us sad and down forever, so we do have to move on, but we never have to forget. You keep doing what you’re doing, God will bring someone again for you and your kids even if you’re not ready yet. Jenny doesn’t want you to be alone. God Bless you and your family.
Kyie,it has been a year and two months since my precious Luke passed.I've gone through so many exhausting emotions.I miss my husband so very much,but, I can now get through most days without falling apart.The pain is still with me just not as debilitating.Loving and missing Luke will never end He was my all .Please continue the counciling.I will keep you in my prayers.
One day at a time Kyle, that has to be the way it is. You are being such a great dad and you parent your beautiful children beautifully, and Jenny is still with you in everything you do! I wish I could say something to make it easier, but the truth is, you just have to plod through it and remember that love will win out and make it possible! Hang in there Kyle!! 💙💙
Seeing your reflection in the window, talking to your phone broke my heart 😢 I totally get the eerie silence and it's one of the loneliest places to be.
Kyle this is why especially older widows start talking and can't shut up. We no longer have that person to connect with. Steve even shared his work ideas with me- for 35 years together. That's hard to get past no matter how many years. The life of the widow/widower is in limbo, while everybody else keeps going forward. Horribly lonely feeling! Sometimes it still feels like yesterday, and honestly EVERY holiday is bad- and it will be 7 years on Dec 24, 11:59 pm. Ebb & flood, all the way. Thank God you have those precious little angels in your life! ❤❤❤
My niece lost her husband last year of melanoma cancer. He was 43 years old. She now has to deal with things like the kids ( son and daughter like you have only they are a few years older ), being alone at night when the kids are in bed and, just like you said Kyle, making decisions without her husband being there to talk about it. She too has her happy and sad moments still and at first she felt guilty feeling happy or making jokes. We all said to her it's normal to have happy times again, you just can't be sad all the time. Sorry for the long story but I hope it helps you a little bit Kyle. You're a great dad, a great husband and you are doing everything you can to make it a happy family again. Don't be hard on yourself! Much love sent from this old lady ( and mom ) 🙏🐞❤️
I am so sorry Kyle. I can only tell you what someone told me. When enough time goes by it gets easier. Not that you forget but the pain lessens. Always wishing you and kids the best.
I didn't watch this when it first came out a couple days ago because of life stuff. I listened to it last night as I was trying to fall asleep while next to "my person". I don't know if all people ever have a relationship so DEEP. I don't think they do. While I don't think it's rare, it's not as prevalent as one would hope and I'm soooo glad you got to experience it and so deeply sorry it ended with Jenny's death. It's not fair and recovery from that has to be devastatingly hard. And you explained it so well - that fulfillment a good partnership is about. It's not about NEEDING the other person's opinion or deciding power, it's about WANTING it and it's about sharing the emotional load of day to day life and parenting. Just being in the same room together doing different things but being about to quickly ask a question or inform them of something interesting you just read/saw, etc. It's just that security of having that person there. I've been with my partner for 31 years. We got married within a year of meeting each other, so since I was 22 years old we've. been together. Losing that type of love and connection is devastating and I'm so sorry you are having to go through this trauma and loss. But you are right. You are living for both of you - and for the kids.
This video diary of grief is so great. Not only are you honuring Jenny by doing it, you are also helping a lot of people that are or will be in the same shoes as you. And the way you encourage Ellis and Winnie in expressing their feelings and not bottling everything up,is everything! You are doing a fantastic job. Keep it up Kyle🥰
My heart aches for you. I’m in year two of losing my husband and I know what you’re going through. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I’m still struggling. He was my world and when I lost him my world was blown to bits. Rebuilding sucks and it’s so exhausting. It is getting better but like you said no one will ever fill that void. Know you’re not alone and those two precious kids are so lucky to have you. Jenny is so proud 💗
I know what you mean. There is this “limbo” feeling in other situations as well. I understand. It is really hard. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for you. But you can’t be too hard on yourself. One day at a time 🙏
I know how you feel my sister was married for 47 years it's been 12 years that she losther husband and not a day goes by that she wishes he was there . God be with you and your children 🙏
I have been a widow for over 5 years now. I miss "us" daily. I am praying for you and your children, Kyle. It will get easier but the grief will never go away and I don't think we ever really want it to. Talk to your kids about her all the time. Tell them the funny or touching stories she would have told them. I never really knew my grandparents but I felt like I did because my mother shared so many memories with me. I am so sorry that any of us have to experience this kind of grief.
I am still grieving the loss of my precious daughter who passed away 23 years ago. She was only 7. While my grief is s different than yours, I still struggle. Thank you for sharing your feelings. You are amazing
Mary, my heart goes out to you. I lost my beloved son Eiric, on June 9 this year; two undiagnosed medical conditions took him. He was only 47. My heart is shattered 💔, and I miss him dreadfully. There are no words, but just know I understand completely 🙏😪
I'm truly sorry you lost your little girl so young. 😔So many steps along the way must have brought up more grief for the last 23 years. All the missed steps and missed events. I'm so sorry for this tremendous loss you carry and the pain in your heart 💔
I lost a child as well. The grief comes back overwhelmingly at times. Love in life is a gift…grief is knowing you loved enough to grieve.❤❤ That’s lucky, some never find that love 🙏🏻God bless
Wow, this deeply touched me. You gave voice to what it is to suffer silently and alone when everyone else sees your mask. I pray this video is seen by all who need it. 🥰🥰🥰
Kyle, you are such a wonderful, beautiful soul. Your children are so precious, your furbabies are so sweet. I listen to you and limbo is a good word as its true. ❤ you are all in my prayers
THANK YOU Kyle, for making this video, everything you say is so honest and my heart goes out to you. My person, my beautiful husband, died in April and its as if I have stepped into another world where things looks the same but feel different. The feelings you express, the longing for conversation with Jenny, the terrible loneliness that exists and cant be changed, the days when you feel you can cope and the days when you crash. I feel these too. You are not alone, you are a wonderful father, you and Jenny have a love that will never end. Be gentle with yourself. Jenny will be so very proud of you.
I am a widower. My wife died 4 years ago this month (brain cancer). Time improves things as your mind comes to grips with a new existence, but there are moments when the pain is as real as the day it happened. When those moments happen, I've learned to feel them fully, cry if you need to, scream if you must, go kick a tree if it makes things better until you can breathe again. I wish you nothing but peace Kyle.
As someone who has never found what so many others have had, all these stories touch my heart, even though I cannot relate. Count yourselves so blessed to have had the love of your life, even for awhile. Kyle, you are amazing... you're the kind of person I always prayed for in my life, but for me, it never happened. I'm 72, been married , and never grieved the end of the marriage. It was actually a relief to be alone and not have any more abuse.
Kyle, Jenny was so ahead of her time, a real trailblazer. She knew what was ahead for her and she knew the devastation you would be left with. But still she told you to pick up the phone and communicate, communicate, communicate. Your loss at times is overwhelming and I shudder to think where you would be without your beautiful children. All I can say without a shadow of a doubt, is that she would want you to do EXACTLY what you are doing. Talking to us, making sure the kids are ok, working, keeping in touch with your friendship circle, home improvements. All of that is exactly what you should be doing. Privately you're in bits and I know that but you have a whole future to think about, both as a father and personally. You are doing freakin great considering you hurt so much losing the love of your life. Ride this rollercoaster please, that's what grief is. You're stronger than you know xx
You talked about if only you could a second of a thought. The finality of death stings and penetrates so deeply. The more you explained limbo, I’m hearing you, Kyle. This is definitely one of those things I wish wasn’t so for you and for anyone. Life on this side of eternity is hard and unfair. Thank you for sharing. We love y’all and pray an abundance of the Lord’s steadfast blessings on you guys now and always ❤
Kylie I hope you’ll take this the way I mean for it to come out. When you talk about what would Jenny do, what would she want, what would she pick? There is something I immediately think. What would you pick, or like or do? Yes, of course we completely depend on our spouses but sometimes I think we can do that too much. You don’t want to live the rest of your life in the what ifs. Ultimately I know you want to raise strong children and to do that you will have to be able to be an individual with your own thoughts and opinions and wants. Otherwise your children will turn outward for someone else to make them happy or complete. My husband has codependent tendencies and I’m always pushing him to grow and the older your children get the more important it is.
I feel the same as you Kyle 😢 My husband of 35 years passed away July 2023 😢 I could never imagine life without him and now i have to live it. We were soulmates and it's broken me 😢 You can only take it one day at a time. I appreciate that its different for you as you have two young children to care for. Look after yourself too and you will be ok. I'm going on my first holiday later this month with a few family members. I know it'll make me sad but I'm also looking forward to it. Life can be so difficult but somehow we get through each day. Sending lots of love to you, Elis and Winnie ❤
being a single parent is hard i was a single parent from the time my son was 7 months old. it's ok to ask for help and have lots of other people in your life and your kids. it's really good to and also have time to do what you want to do for yourself.
Jen knows the secret now. Her physical body is gone but her spirit and memory will remain forever in you and your kids. I was widowed at 37 with no warning. One day he’s off to work as usual and the next day I’m planning a funeral. Life is precious so live everyday like it’s your last and treasure the small things.
Everything you are saying Kyle is so valid. The tug of war that your mind plays is exhausting and leaves you so uncertain of everything you do.... Grief is sometimes such a vicious cycle. All the feelings and emotions are just overwhelming. I'm so sorry that you are struggling with all of this, it is a part of the process BUT, so unfair. No one will ever be able to give you an answer that will be suitable because they are not sweet Jenny.🐞 And rightfully so. Totally sucks. I sit hear watching and shaking my head yes to what you are saying, yet my heart continues to ache for you because I wish there was something I could do...but like I said, I can't. And that is such a hard thing to deal with. I think expressing your feelings, even thought you might not get an answer you would like, will still help in sharing your feelings and being able to talk about it! Sometimes saying it out loud, just says something. I am always keeping you, Ellis and Winnie in my thoughts and prayers!!! Sending Hugs, love,, calm vibes and blessings!!!❤🙏
I lost my spouse 13 years ago. I was 52 at the time. He was 59. He went in the hospital for right hip surgery and never came home. Due to medical negligence he died 10 days later in the ICU. We only had 13 years together. He was my very best friend and the love of my life. After he passed, I made my daughter (from my first marriage) my top priority. She had been battling drug addiction for several years. 2-1/2 years after losing my husband she finally got clean but she only had 5 weeks under her belt when she suffered a grand mal seizure (probably from withdrawal) which led to a fatal heart arrhythmia. She was only 27 years old. Two weeks after losing my child, my dad passed away. Believe me when I tell you…..I KNOW grief. I have never felt more alone and lost. You are young. Be patient with yourself and give yourself grace. You are a great guy and a wonderful dad. The right companion and helpmate will come along and you’ll be able to share yourself again. No one can ever replace Jenny. She filled up many chapters in your life Kyle, but there are so many chapters left. Just please don’t give up and lose hope. Jenny wanted you to live your life to the fullest. She wanted you to find love again. I 100% believe it will happen for you……when the time is right. Best wishes for your future and prayers for your comfort. ❤️
Thanks for being so honest, Kyle. I’m sorry it’s so hard, but yes, you’re right, it’s just one day at a time, and gradually accepting how things are, while doing what you can to create a future that honors both Jenny’s memory and the person you are and will become.
I know this might come across as insensitive or to soon to mention, but I’m not saying this for you to forget about Jen, but don’t forget that she gave you permission to remarry, you need it, your sole needs it, your kids might benefit from a stepmom, who knows, your such a wonderful person and its hard to hear and see you be so down, you have grown so much through this grief and have gained the courage and strength to keep fighting for each and everyday and that’s great, the tools you gained along the way are awesome and can help so many other people. Don’t forget about that, that was her wish to you. She knows you and knew you needed someone to be by your side. This is coming from deep love and admiration for the strength you have gained and the knowledge you have learned. Think about it, if not now maybe for later down the road.
I hope he's careful and can find a widow. A single/non married lady or one that's divorced will be always jealous of Jenny and her presence, and likely won't love the kids as their own. My personal experience with the dreaded step parent. A widowed woman would be more understanding, and not want his life rid of all memories of Jenny.
I get it!!! I lost my husband when he was 43 in 2018. The in between ….. (the ellipsis) lasted years and years for me. I’m just now coming into my own . Give yourself grace and time! It’s ok to stay there for a while.
Hi Kyle. You are intuitive and strong! I have experienced plenty of loss and grief . I know you pray everyday but if you need someone to talk to I’m here.
Such a raw and powerful vlog 💜 I’m sure this will help so many people on the same journey and it is honouring Jenny so well 🐞 I’m glad so many of us are here to listen when you need to get things off your chest.
My mom died 14 years ago and I still grieve for her and miss talking to her. I miss calling her every day and talking about even the most insignificant things. It doesn't get easier the grief just changes.
It sure does. I am certain losing a parent feels different from losing a spouse. I lost my mom almost 30 yrs ago. Sometimes I still pick up the phone to call her.
My mom died 5 1/2 years ago and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her. I'm so grateful for time I spent with my mom and I'll miss her forever.
Kyle thank you for sharing this. I was in tears this entire video. Im there with you and can relate to every single word you said. Its been six months for me. I will continue praying for you and the kids. ❤️ 🙏
I’m just starting down the same road as you have been and binge watching your content. What a blessing you and Jenny are. How to navigate this horrific situation with grace, love, joy and complete honestly about finding the beauty in the ugly moments. THANK YOU. I’m less terrified than I was three months ago. Hugs from Australia
I appreciate your videos and sharing your journey. I haven’t lost a spouse, but I lost my mother when I was 12. She passed away on my 12th birthday after a battle with leukemia. I am 46 now so it’s been a long time ago. She was an amazing mother. My dad is a great dad and he did his best. It was hard though. To be without her. So now as years have passed and I’m now older than my mother was when she died. I remember her and all the things that she did for us. Because she loved being a mother. She loved her home and her family. I have felt her presence 0:07 in my life. I sure relate to being angry at times and that limbo feeling. Angry because I didn’t have my mother when I needed her going into my teenage years. Times when a girl really needs her mom. That sucks. Her life was cut short. Right in the prime of her life. She was 44. We needed her. But it’s true, life keeps going for us. Anyway this comment is getting way too long haha. Thanks for sharing your experience. As a grown woman now her lost her mother as a kid it sucks. I had to figure it out. I don’t think there is a right or wrong way to grief. There is still a big hole in my life where I didn’t have a mother. But I’m good, I’m happy and I am grateful for her and for the memories of her. For the influence she has been in my life. Even still. My dad remarried and I am so glad he has someone. I was older so it’s not like she raised me. She is a wonderful lady. Sorry for the novel here. I could go on lol. I just wanted to share because maybe it might be helpful. Especially because you’re raising your children on your own.
Kyle, you are now living Option B, the subject of Sheryl Sandberg’s book written with a psychiatrist after losing her husband suddenly while on vacation, and they had 2 young children. You want Option A, can’t have it, but as her friend said “let’s kick the s--out of Option B”. If you haven’t read this book, please think about reading it. So real, real-life examples of advice. And also good for those of us who’ve lost someone close but haven’t lost a spouse. You’re an inspiration, Kyle. You’re navigating such a horrible situation with grace and honesty. God bless you all. ❤🙏
I lost my dad to cancer 3.5 years ago and sometimes watching your videos still makes me burst out crying because I feel your pain, and I know my mom's going through the same kind of pain of losing a spouse that you are. It hurts for all of us. Grief is the worst. But it's honestly nice to get out a good cry sometimes. And I'm glad that we learn to have more and more happy moments as time goes on without them, that's what they want for us and we deserve happiness!
You feel lost. And empty. And a void that cannot be filled. And a good part of you is missing. You have a new identity- a widow, a single parent. The love, however, is undying. She walks with you, every day, every breath. The crisp breeze, the sunlight, the quietness. She is there. ❤
It's been eight months since I lost my fiance suddenly I am finding it's getting harder. You summed it up perfectly limbo that's exactly what it feels like. I don't want to talk to anyone else I only want to talk to Chris about all sorts of things I have isolated myself. I hate having to create a whole new life without him. 😢 Sorry for your loss.
You have me in tears. Feel your feelings but don't feel bad about learning to laugh and live again. Your wife loved you and knew you loved her. She would never want you guys to suffer. You are a good man. Hugs to you and your kiddos
I admire your strength and being able to articulate how you are feeling in videos. I was married for 13 years to my high school sweet heart. We were so close and happy in the first few years then things went sideways. He was very abusive and have addiction issues. I tried to be patient and kept hoping he would change or I could change him. I had to leave him and it broke me. I grieved the loss of our love. I grieved the loss of our future and making a history with him. Growing old with him. I tried to date and because I had two kids no one would be serious and I was extremely picky. I focused on my kids and worked hard to provide and he wasn’t a part of their lives. It was tough. He didnt pass away but the loss felt like a death in the sense that the man I had loved was gone. I never remarried and couldn’t and still don’t think I will find someone to share my life with. I guess I gave up. I’ve been alone for so long it’s my normal. I had a small family and all but one have passed from cancer. I don’t celebrate holidays anymore. My friends all have husbands and kids and grandkids and they are always busy doing something family related. I do t have that and I grieve that I won’t have a history with a life partner. My grandma lost her husband (my dad’s father) when my dad was a child. She never remarried after he passed away. She said she never wanted to. Do what makes you happy and enjoy your kids. They will grow up so fast. If and when you’re ready for a new love and life partner then go ahead and be happy! You deserve it. You’re a good man and stronger than you know.
I lost my Mom when I was 15. We didn't have a good relationship due to her drinking, but I miss her in certain ways. It's hard to loose anyone. You made some great points in this video. I lost my Nana when I was 17. I will be 48 on Sept 11th. She was my best friend. I miss her every day. She was my person. She raised me, and I went to her for everything. I still talk to her daily. It was a hard loss. 😢. I just kept thinking she is not in pain anymore, and she is with loved ones who she lost now. That gave me some comfort in my grief, knowing she was at peace and she was with her son, husband, cousins, and parents. She can reconnect with them. I believe in that. So maybe just be thankful that Jenny isn't in pain anymore and the cancer is gone out of her body now. Just know that she will always be with you and your kids no matter what. I really liked all the points you made on this video. They all make sense. It will get easier as time goes on. You are doing amazing.
Kyle I just sat here and listened to you, and let me just say to you that as I am sitting here I think about the day my husband went to be with Jesus, he passed 3 yrs. and 3 months ago. We were married for 38 yrs. And I can tell you that I am so still in the limbo of it all. I try everyday to keep going but I find myself so lost without him. Your so right! Its never going to be the same for you, true love is just so beautiful and I am so lonely for his presence in my life. I pray for you and your children every day and will continue to do so. Just know God will guide you thru life. Please know that Jenny will always be in your heart and your children will continue to thrive in the years to come. God Bless your Family💞🐞
The children are thriving and living a normal life with Daddy. It is so different how a child grieves especially as young as Ellis & Winnie. Kyle should know he is helping them adjust without mom and they are doing well. Kyle on the other hand is an adult dealing with the loss of a spouse and they are two different losses. Kyle is not ok every week even in the routine of the day. No two people are as close as husband & wife. He really doesn’t want to be in this space but time is a healer. Someone mentioned the Psalms. Also I would a say get more involved with your church. Volunteer where even the kids help out.
I married my first love in 1963, march of 2019 he sat down in his chair..and was gone😢.. There are no words , the emotions change daily, i can only believe we must go on becsuse of the love we carry..he was..is..my all
Overwhelming at first,one task at a time, don't overthink, feel halfed in two, but remember you were a single unit before, it's getting used to new circumstances, don't dwell on what people think, grief roller coaster, not fair it just is!!!, replace neg thoughts with positive, one day one task at a time, you will come through,🙏 god bless
Yes I agree with everything you’ve said. Sometimes the pain is so bad I don’t want to go on. It’s so scary to have that thought of not wanting to live. I keep going to take care of my dogs. Hoping and trusting in time that feeling will go away.
This is exactly how I feel. The limbo is so hard. It has only been two and a half months since I lost my husband and I am sad all the time. I haven’t had any happy moments yet. I have had a day that was not horrible but it wasn’t good either. My kids are older- my youngest turned 17 days after my husband’s first brain aneurysm. They can’t even talk about him, they don’t like me talking about him because it hurts. Oh the limbo is just so so hard. I get all this. I just want to talk to him and Netflix and chill 😢❤😢. It is the little things. It is all the things. Wishing you peace and thank you for sharing- it is terrible but also comforting to know these feelings are “typical”. The night quiet is the worst.
Kyle you and Jenny have helped me by sharing your journey. I found your family, shared your love, your hope, your disappointments. Reality. At the time my life was that of a caregiver to two people I love. I lost mom two months ago. She saw the change in me. She seemed to be happier. I was less stressed when I was with her. Your love. Your gentle care. Always there for your babies. I changed for the better. I believe you taught me patience. ( I’m originally from New York and Italian. Fact is… not a patient person!) My husband still struggles but I believe that he will get stronger and each day I am thankful for you and your family for what you taught me and for making me stronger and more understanding. Thank you.
Your video is so helpful to not feel alone in my grief. It’s devastating and you spoke my heart. Thank you, keep on doing what you’re doing, it is helping thousands of souls. Love to you and your babies. 💔
Grief is an individual process. Your pace is your pace and it’s perfect for YOU. No one else walks in your shoes. Jenny would want you & the kids to be happy. Are you doing anything & everything to be healthy & happy? It’s difficult to lose “your person”. I’m glad you share and are open with your feelings & thoughts. You are a great human Kyle. Praying for you & yours.
I remember someone explaining this as familiarity. It takes a while for that to change become not so familiar. It will never go away completely. Hugs Kyle. Praying for you.
In the hospital, Jenny said you were allowed to be happy, and not to worry about what people thought. She said this for the very reasons you are speaking of right now. She knew overwhelmed would be an understatement. You have rocked this, touched so many hearts, and have made your Jenny and your children so proud! You two will forever be synced in your hearts. You will probably always wonder what her thoughts are on even silly things. That's the beauty of it! Jenny wants you to be happy. She wants Ellis and Winnie to be happy. You all deserve to be whole again! Praying for ya'll from MS!
That may be your truth, but not his. All people have different wants and needs. He is trying to explain in this video that something is missing from his life and that something is a life partner to share in his joy of his children his life, the kids getting married, having grandchildren etc. He doesn't want to do life alone. He is thinking beyond right now. That's very clear. The kids will only be there another 10 years or so, then what? The kids move on, start a family and he is alone in the house without a partner to share life with and do things with. Everyone is different. Some people lose a spouse and are perfectly happy living the rest of their life alone. But we need to remember, he is only 30 years old and has about 50 years of his life left and I don't blame him for not wanting to be alone forever. That is a sad and depressing existence for some people. Jenny would not expect him to live a life of depression. If he wants a partner to share life with, we need to respect that. He is a very young man and no one should expect him to live the next 50 years a lonely individual.
@@GroundhogBaby Get out of your feelings!!!!! I didn't say for the rest of his life!!! I said he needs time to heal!!!! And that means not running out and getting with someone random!!!! Heal and learn to love your own company!!! Now that's my truth !!!!✌️
@@strongwoman2668 it's going on a year since Jenny passed. That's not rushing out and getting married. It takes time to find the right person especially since he has 2 children. Even after he meets the right person it may be years before he gets married. I'm not suggesting he rush into marriage, I'm just saying there's no reason he can't date and meet someone he can share things with and have adult companionship with. He doesn't need to feel lonely or be unhappy being alone, while he lets life pass him by. Obviously he won't marry immediately, but he will have companionship to fill the void he's feeling. And Kyle doesn't strike me as the type to get with someone random. He will always be looking out for the wellbeing of his children as well.
Thank you for sharing. My heart goes to you as you as I hear your pain of missing your Jenny. I wish I could send hugs thru to you as I hear your raw grief. It touches your listeners so much. That mask is real and well said. I hope being able to express and share your grief to help others also helps you. 😢
Oh Kyle this broke my heart. I wish I could make it all better for you. It’s not fair. You are doing such n amazing job but I totally get where you coming from. Huge hugs ♥️♥️
Haven't been on in awhile. Dealing with my own losses(brother,dad and nana) since last time I was on. Sending healing prayers for you and your family ❤🙏🏻
I can relate, it's the little things you miss, things that aren't actually that little because they are part of everyday life, they are extremely important♥ it's not easy and I don't know if it gets any easier, I hope so. You're a great father but I understand the burden you feel on your shoulder
Just an observation, before you could not have expressed this without breaking down. You didnt cry, so while it feels like limbo, what i see is someone doing the best they can and inching through the most turbulent part of grief.
I felt that way when my husband up and left. A different kind of grief. Raising a family alone is hard. You need a partner to hold the reigns with. People think i should get over it because he left us in the lurch overnight, but he was my person. Hes come back around years later but you know how that goes.
Being a single parent is very hard and then throw grief ontop of that, you feel like you are starting over! It’s such a rollercoaster and so many triggers! You’ll find your self talking to yourself or your animals!
Limbo is a good word for it. You’ve been doing a great job dealing with all this. Not saying there’s one way of dealing with it over another. However, you have stepped up, through the pain and made your beautiful kids and home life a priority. It’s a new journey. I’ve been alone for 12 years now. There was a period of adjusting that was not comfortable. I can’t tell you how long it was before acceptance and peace came. But it’s still difficult at times being alone. It’s ok to feel joy with family and friends. It’s ok to feel the pain and loneliness. ♥️🙏🏼🕊️ …continued prayers for you and your family.
I’ve been married and divorced. And I’ve given up. But I have never had a person like that in my life. A best friend, someone you could turn to. So it’s hard for me to even imagine. I did see how much you and Jenny loved each otherwhat a wonderful husband you were to her during, her illness. And one of wonderful father you are.
Hello dear Kyle, I am from Greece and I have a chronic illness and I became worse the day Jenny died. I watched all this journey and somehow this date was a date that I related with Jenny. Have you ever imagine how do you help many of us passing through difficult moments on every corner of this earth? I live in Greece and I am affected of all this. You are doing good so far, let the tears out and you are an example for all. Love you greetings from Greece
Hi Kyle, when you ask yourself these questions remember your conversations with Jenny ❤️she told you to be happy and take care of the kids,and you are doing that ❤you are doing a wonderful job Kyle 🥰
Kyle u will have gooddays bad days sad dsys u have done amazing job with ur children and u all i can say that keep the love the memories a live with jen and keep therapy in mind and god
People who have gone through this really understand what you are going through. I lost my husband 9 years ago from a heart attack I was 44 and he was 48 He passed right in front of me and my 16 year old son. We didn’t get to say goodbye or tell him things we wanted to he was just gone like that! Even after 9 years it is hard! My son suffers from anxiety and depression from losing his dad who was his best friend. I am crying thing this. You are doing such an amazing job raising your 2 young children. Jenny is looking down on you and is so proud of you!
I resonated so much with this video. I lost my husband Aug. 8, 2023 to cancer and it's been so up and down (mostly down) through this the whole journey. It's like you and your spouse are a beautiful oak tree getting established when you first get together and you establish your root system with them. As the years and experiences progress, your roots become deeper and deeper and expand getting stronger with each day. One day a horrible storm comes and lightning hits the tree and wipes out half of that beautiful established oak tree and the other half is there but it's struggling so badly to survive without the other half. In time it will grow stronger but it will never be the same again. It's one of the hardest journeys I've ever experienced. Kyle, like you, I miss him and I need him to help me navigate this life. We were a team and now we're on our own to make all the decisions and hope we're doing the right thing. I'm sure we are though. I feel for you and your children. I keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. This is one of the hardest emotions to navigate. Sending lots of loving energy to you guys.
I feel just like you. I had such a hard time making decisions for so long. I do though get proud of myself when I make a decision and it works out great. I just miss him so much. Being in limbo is so hard but it gets easier. I’ve been missing my husband for 3 years and 8 months. Seems like an eternity since he went to Heaven. Praying for all of us who have lost our beloved, our person, our partner in life. Sending hugs.
Cancer is a beast and things will be hard at times and of course it's not fair. I lost my mom when I was nine and it was very hard for me for years. Losing a spouse is hard for sure. One thing at a time and one moment at a time. You will get through this tough time in your life. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability and grief. I totally understand. It's ok to be upset sad angry. Totally normal and some days will be great and others it'll hit you hard. Big hugs to you and your kiddos. Hang in there Kyle. 🙏 God knows where you are at and understands it all. He is near the brokenhearted. Your heart is broken Kyle and you will get out of it one day. Don't feel you have to rush the grief.
I lost my partner in April of this year to cancer. We only got 5 years together. I grieve the loss of him, as well as the loss of our future. Now it’s just the dog and me. Sometimes it feels like all of the air is gone.
Kyle",,, You are One Incredible" person. Your Doing such an incredible Job,, as a Dad.... Eventually " you need to start thinking" of a New " Woman, or a Friend.... Jenny is in a beautiful Place Now....... You Deserve" a new life"..... eventually you will.....
I'm a new widow myself, Kyle. My darling wife passed a few weeks after your Jenny. I told my counsellor the same thing this week. I'm in limbo still, but being shunted about on a roller coaster of emotions. It is so hard, your Jenny was so amazing but she'd be proud of you for showing the world that feeling griefstricken is okay and not something we should hide. You are also a wonderful father and doggy dad, you're doing her proud. Limbo is very confusing but it's where we are. Sending you a huge hug from the UK x
Sending you prayers for healing. What you are going through is tough. Peace from Lake Superior, Minnesota
So sorry for your loss
Thinking of you from Liverpool
so sorry for your loss💔
Bless you darling ,I'm so sorry you lost your wife ,it is heartbreaking to lose a partner or child ,and you find the first of everything is always the hardest ,first birthday ,Christmas anniversary ,etc im sending you a big hug ,I'm also from the UK 🇬🇧, love and prayers to you ❤️
I’m not YOUR Jenny, but I am a 33-year-old Jenny with a very similar story, roles reversed. My husband, totally previously healthy, never smoker, was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer in June. We have two young kids and took the drastic step of having his left lung removed in hopes for more time.
I don’t have the answers - just a train on a track that I can’t stop no matter how hard I try. But I feel privileged your Jenny pushed you to keep posting. She is so radically proud of your courage.
For whatever it is worth, I am, too.
❣🙏
This is frightening, these young and previously healthy people being diagnosed 😢... I wish him a full recovery 🙌
❤🙏
Praying The name of Jesus over your husband that complete healing is upon his chest God bless your courageous battle in this fight one must win and i belive that Jesus can do anything. Praying
🙏♥️
I became a widow at the age of 31 and I am now 68. My husband and I were only married for 12 years and I felt like I was cheated out of a long life with him. I went through the exact same emotions and questions that you are dealing with now. How was I going to get through this. I raised four kids alone, my son was 11 and my daughters were 7, 3 and 6 weeks old when my husband died. In a way it was an illness because he took his life. That seemed to make my “friends” not want to be around me anymore. Thank goodness I had my Mom to help me at the time. You are doing an amazing job raising your children. I enjoy watching you take them on adventures, celebrating Jenny’s birthday, carrying on traditions Jenny had with them and always keeping her memory alive. Keep being the wonderful Dad that you are. God Bless!
You have my upmost respect!! Certainly must have been a very very strong lady to be left so young with four children to raise!!
MY GOODNESS A SIX WEEK OLD BABY !! YOU ARE A VERY STRONG LADY !!
So sorry about your husband Holly. I cried reading your story. Your little girl never got to meet her daddy so that is heartbreaking alone. I hope you talk about him and show her pictures of him so she knows how wonderful her daddy was. It’s hard to go through life without him but you have to be strong for your kids. He lives on thru your children so that has to bring some comfort I hope. I do hope you are doing well and your children as well. Take care, Holly 💐💐🌷🌷
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I'm sorry you went through this lost my husband at 47 brain tumor gone in 3 months
I lost my fiancé to suicide. Very hard. But, I realized God only loans people to us. Our earthly life is temporary but our eternal life is with our heavenly father. I will always cherish my memories with loved ones who have passed on. But, I look forward to what God has in store for my life. Life is precious. Enjoy every moment God gives you.
I am so sorry for your loss ,suicide is one of the hardest to understand ,as I'm sure a lot of us know , a loss is a loss ,just take comfort ,that one day ,you will see each other again ,sending you love and prayers ❤️
Grown man crying here at how touching this is. God is everlasting life. God bless your life in abundance.
🙏❤️🙏
Very good concept of "Loan".
Lost a nephew to suicide, lost my brother to Covid.
Thank you for saying they are on loan from God...really cool way to look at it.
Amen. Well said! 🙏
My husband of 50 years is now on Hospice and I can't see myself without him. We are so close. I never thought I could be so close to someone. I hate watching him waste away. It's really killing me. I pray everyday that I go before him so I won't have to spend one single day or one single second without him. Only people such as yourself understands what I'm going through. I don't have anybody to talk to. I'm in this by myself. I have no family or friends, and I'm feeling like I'm stuck in limbo right now. Thank you for sharing this. I'm so glad you have this TH-cam channel because you have so many people who care about you, and you can turn to them when you're feeling down. I'm hoping and praying everyday for you and your children. Please know that many care.
I wish you the strength to handle the sad but unavoidable near future & what you are likely to face.
God Bless
You are not alone. We are here thinking of you. You will get through this. You are stronger than you know and are and will always be taken care of by the divine. ❤
I'm so sorry you are facing this alone. Tomorrow is my 42nd wedding anniversary and I would feel the same if I were in your position. We've been together since we were 20 years old. Sending love, light, and healing prayers your way.❤🙏
Praying for you and your sweet heart. God will get you through...trust that. Trust in him. 🙏
Sorry I been married 25 years he is everything to me I cannot imagine watching my love waste away my condolences may you find peace
Kyle, this is one of the most powerful, honest, and best videos on grief I have ever seen. I hope you know how many people you and Jenny have impacted and helped! Please hang in there. 🙏🏻
There’s no way to grieve neatly. It’s going to be messy at times. You’re doing amazing Kyle.
She said she just wants you to be happy. The video in the hospital when she was dying. She loves you and probably wouldn't want you to put this much pressure on yourself. ❤
Very true. I will keep him and his kids in my heart, as I will all widowers. it’s a long process, life does get better, just very, very slowly . One day at a time Kyle . One hour, one minute, one sometimes. Keep the counseling up with a trusted, knowledgeable grief counselor for sure ❤🙏👍🏻.
Age doesn’t matter in death, when you lose someone, IT HURTS!!!! It’s been 7 years since I lost my husband, but it feels like yesterday. Some days are better than others, but you’re right, we have to start over, I’ve been doing that, but our loved ones don’t want us sad and down forever, so we do have to move on, but we never have to forget.
You keep doing what you’re doing, God will bring someone again for you and your kids even if you’re not ready yet. Jenny doesn’t want you to be alone. God Bless you and your family.
Well said! And god bless you🙏
Your so right! everything takes time.
👍💕🙏
Kyie,it has been a year and two months since my precious Luke passed.I've gone through so many exhausting emotions.I miss my husband so very much,but, I can now get through most days without falling apart.The pain is still with me just not as debilitating.Loving and missing Luke will never end He was my all .Please continue the counciling.I will keep you in my prayers.
One day at a time Kyle, that has to be the way it is. You are being such a great dad and you parent your beautiful children beautifully, and Jenny is still with you in everything you do! I wish I could say something to make it easier, but the truth is, you just have to plod through it and remember that love will win out and make it possible! Hang in there Kyle!! 💙💙
Seeing your reflection in the window, talking to your phone broke my heart 😢 I totally get the eerie silence and it's one of the loneliest places to be.
Kyle this is why especially older widows start talking and can't shut up. We no longer have that person to connect with. Steve even shared his work ideas with me- for 35 years together. That's hard to get past no matter how many years. The life of the widow/widower is in limbo, while everybody else keeps going forward. Horribly lonely feeling! Sometimes it still feels like yesterday, and honestly EVERY holiday is bad- and it will be 7 years on Dec 24, 11:59 pm. Ebb & flood, all the way. Thank God you have those precious little angels in your life! ❤❤❤
My niece lost her husband last year of melanoma cancer. He was 43 years old. She now has to deal with things like the kids ( son and daughter like you have only they are a few years older ), being alone at night when the kids are in bed and, just like you said Kyle, making decisions without her husband being there to talk about it. She too has her happy and sad moments still and at first she felt guilty feeling happy or making jokes. We all said to her it's normal to have happy times again, you just can't be sad all the time.
Sorry for the long story but I hope it helps you a little bit Kyle.
You're a great dad, a great husband and you are doing everything you can to make it a happy family again.
Don't be hard on yourself!
Much love sent from this old lady ( and mom ) 🙏🐞❤️
I am so sorry Kyle. I can only tell you what someone told me. When enough time goes by it gets easier. Not that you forget but the pain lessens. Always wishing you and kids the best.
My Dad passed away 40yrs ago from heart attack i still miss him every day thinking of you kyle love from Adelaide Australia ❤🇦🇺
I didn't watch this when it first came out a couple days ago because of life stuff. I listened to it last night as I was trying to fall asleep while next to "my person".
I don't know if all people ever have a relationship so DEEP. I don't think they do. While I don't think it's rare, it's not as prevalent as one would hope and I'm soooo glad you got to experience it and so deeply sorry it ended with Jenny's death. It's not fair and recovery from that has to be devastatingly hard.
And you explained it so well - that fulfillment a good partnership is about. It's not about NEEDING the other person's opinion or deciding power, it's about WANTING it and it's about sharing the emotional load of day to day life and parenting. Just being in the same room together doing different things but being about to quickly ask a question or inform them of something interesting you just read/saw, etc. It's just that security of having that person there.
I've been with my partner for 31 years. We got married within a year of meeting each other, so since I was 22 years old we've. been together. Losing that type of love and connection is devastating and I'm so sorry you are having to go through this trauma and loss. But you are right. You are living for both of you - and for the kids.
This video diary of grief is so great. Not only are you honuring Jenny by doing it, you are also helping a lot of people that are or will be in the same shoes as you.
And the way you encourage Ellis and Winnie in expressing their feelings and not bottling everything up,is everything!
You are doing a fantastic job. Keep it up Kyle🥰
My heart aches for you. I’m in year two of losing my husband and I know what you’re going through. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I’m still struggling. He was my world and when I lost him my world was blown to bits. Rebuilding sucks and it’s so exhausting. It is getting better but like you said no one will ever fill that void. Know you’re not alone and those two precious kids are so lucky to have you. Jenny is so proud 💗
I know what you mean. There is this “limbo” feeling in other situations as well. I understand. It is really hard. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for you. But you can’t be too hard on yourself. One day at a time 🙏
I know how you feel my sister was married for 47 years it's been 12 years that she losther husband and not a day goes by that she wishes he was there . God be with you and your children 🙏
Hi kyle grieving is hard you shouldnt put to much pressure on yourself just try and take baby steps you winnie and ellis will be ok ❤❤
I have been a widow for over 5 years now. I miss "us" daily. I am praying for you and your children, Kyle. It will get easier but the grief will never go away and I don't think we ever really want it to. Talk to your kids about her all the time. Tell them the funny or touching stories she would have told them. I never really knew my grandparents but I felt like I did because my mother shared so many memories with me. I am so sorry that any of us have to experience this kind of grief.
I am still grieving the loss of my precious daughter who passed away 23 years ago. She was only 7. While my grief is s different than yours, I still struggle. Thank you for sharing your feelings. You are amazing
Mary, my heart goes out to you. I lost my beloved son Eiric, on June 9 this year; two undiagnosed medical conditions took him. He was only 47. My heart is shattered 💔, and I miss him dreadfully. There are no words, but just know I understand completely 🙏😪
I'm truly sorry you lost your little girl so young. 😔So many steps along the way must have brought up more grief for the last 23 years. All the missed steps and missed events. I'm so sorry for this tremendous loss you carry and the pain in your heart 💔
❤🙏🏻
I lost a child as well. The grief comes back overwhelmingly at times. Love in life is a gift…grief is knowing you loved enough to grieve.❤❤ That’s lucky, some never find that love 🙏🏻God bless
@@breezeh1127 cute pfp too ❤️🥺
Wow, this deeply touched me. You gave voice to what it is to suffer silently and alone when everyone else sees your mask. I pray this video is seen by all who need it. 🥰🥰🥰
ohhh Kyle my thoughts are with you! you have us too confide in. Jenny is loving you from above, you are never alone. Sweet prayers to you❤🙏
I am so sorry Kyle. I keep you and your precious children in my prayers.. 🙏❤️🙏
Kyle, you are such a wonderful, beautiful soul. Your children are so precious, your furbabies are so sweet. I listen to you and limbo is a good word as its true. ❤ you are all in my prayers
Thank you so much!
THANK YOU Kyle, for making this video, everything you say is so honest and my heart goes out to you. My person, my beautiful husband, died in April and its as if I have stepped into another world where things looks the same but feel different. The feelings you express, the longing for conversation with Jenny, the terrible loneliness that exists and cant be changed, the days when you feel you can cope and the days when you crash. I feel these too. You are not alone, you are a wonderful father, you and Jenny have a love that will never end. Be gentle with yourself. Jenny will be so very proud of you.
I am a widower. My wife died 4 years ago this month (brain cancer). Time improves things as your mind comes to grips with a new existence, but there are moments when the pain is as real as the day it happened. When those moments happen, I've learned to feel them fully, cry if you need to, scream if you must, go kick a tree if it makes things better until you can breathe again. I wish you nothing but peace Kyle.
I am so sorry for your loss. Your advice is spot on. Wishing you peace and comfort.
Hugs dear
Love in life is a beautiful gift. Grief is loving enough to grieve. Some are never lucky enough to find that love❤God bless🙏🏻
As someone who has never found what so many others have had, all these stories touch my heart, even though I cannot relate.
Count yourselves so blessed to have had the love of your life, even for awhile.
Kyle, you are amazing... you're the kind of person I always prayed for in my life, but for me, it never happened. I'm 72, been married , and never grieved the end of the marriage. It was actually a relief to be alone and not have any more abuse.
Kyle, Jenny was so ahead of her time, a real trailblazer. She knew what was ahead for her and she knew the devastation you would be left with. But still she told you to pick up the phone and communicate, communicate, communicate. Your loss at times is overwhelming and I shudder to think where you would be without your beautiful children. All I can say without a shadow of a doubt, is that she would want you to do EXACTLY what you are doing. Talking to us, making sure the kids are ok, working, keeping in touch with your friendship circle, home improvements. All of that is exactly what you should be doing. Privately you're in bits and I know that but you have a whole future to think about, both as a father and personally. You are doing freakin great considering you hurt so much losing the love of your life. Ride this rollercoaster please, that's what grief is. You're stronger than you know xx
You talked about if only you could a second of a thought. The finality of death stings and penetrates so deeply. The more you explained limbo, I’m hearing you, Kyle. This is definitely one of those things I wish wasn’t so for you and for anyone. Life on this side of eternity is hard and unfair. Thank you for sharing. We love y’all and pray an abundance of the Lord’s steadfast blessings on you guys now and always ❤
Kyle you are so real with the ability to be open and honest. Prayers for you and your family daily.🙏🙏🙏
Kylie I hope you’ll take this the way I mean for it to come out. When you talk about what would Jenny do, what would she want, what would she pick? There is something I immediately think. What would you pick, or like or do? Yes, of course we completely depend on our spouses but sometimes I think we can do that too much. You don’t want to live the rest of your life in the what ifs. Ultimately I know you want to raise strong children and to do that you will have to be able to be an individual with your own thoughts and opinions and wants. Otherwise your children will turn outward for someone else to make them happy or complete. My husband has codependent tendencies and I’m always pushing him to grow and the older your children get the more important it is.
I feel the same as you Kyle 😢 My husband of 35 years passed away July 2023 😢 I could never imagine life without him and now i have to live it. We were soulmates and it's broken me 😢 You can only take it one day at a time. I appreciate that its different for you as you have two young children to care for. Look after yourself too and you will be ok. I'm going on my first holiday later this month with a few family members. I know it'll make me sad but I'm also looking forward to it.
Life can be so difficult but somehow we get through each day. Sending lots of love to you, Elis and Winnie ❤
I am so sorry, Kyle. Every emotion is part of your journey. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
being a single parent is hard i was a single parent from the time my son was 7 months old. it's ok to ask for help and have lots of other people in your life and your kids. it's really good to and also have time to do what you want to do for yourself.
Jen knows the secret now. Her physical body is gone but her spirit and memory will remain forever in you and your kids. I was widowed at 37 with no warning. One day he’s off to work as usual and the next day I’m planning a funeral. Life is precious so live everyday like it’s your last and treasure the small things.
Everything you are saying Kyle is so valid. The tug of war that your mind plays is exhausting and leaves you so uncertain of everything you do.... Grief is sometimes such a vicious cycle. All the feelings and emotions are just overwhelming. I'm so sorry that you are struggling with all of this, it is a part of the process BUT, so unfair. No one will ever be able to give you an answer that will be suitable because they are not sweet Jenny.🐞 And rightfully so. Totally sucks. I sit hear watching and shaking my head yes to what you are saying, yet my heart continues to ache for you because I wish there was something I could do...but like I said, I can't. And that is such a hard thing to deal with. I think expressing your feelings, even thought you might not get an answer you would like, will still help in sharing your feelings and being able to talk about it! Sometimes saying it out loud, just says something. I am always keeping you, Ellis and Winnie in my thoughts and prayers!!! Sending Hugs, love,, calm vibes and blessings!!!❤🙏
Been on year without my husband. Limbo is right. Learning to adjust is hard. My heart goes out to you and your family.
I lost my spouse 13 years ago. I was 52 at the time. He was 59. He went in the hospital for right hip surgery and never came home. Due to medical negligence he died 10 days later in the ICU. We only had 13 years together. He was my very best friend and the love of my life. After he passed, I made my daughter (from my first marriage) my top priority. She had been battling drug addiction for several years. 2-1/2 years after losing my husband she finally got clean but she only had 5 weeks under her belt when she suffered a grand mal seizure (probably from withdrawal) which led to a fatal heart arrhythmia. She was only 27 years old. Two weeks after losing my child, my dad passed away. Believe me when I tell you…..I KNOW grief. I have never felt more alone and lost. You are young. Be patient with yourself and give yourself grace. You are a great guy and a wonderful dad. The right companion and helpmate will come along and you’ll be able to share yourself again. No one can ever replace Jenny. She filled up many chapters in your life Kyle, but there are so many chapters left. Just please don’t give up and lose hope. Jenny wanted you to live your life to the fullest. She wanted you to find love again. I 100% believe it will happen for you……when the time is right. Best wishes for your future and prayers for your comfort. ❤️
Thanks for being so honest, Kyle. I’m sorry it’s so hard, but yes, you’re right, it’s just one day at a time, and gradually accepting how things are, while doing what you can to create a future that honors both Jenny’s memory and the person you are and will become.
I know this might come across as insensitive or to soon to mention, but I’m not saying this for you to forget about Jen, but don’t forget that she gave you permission to remarry, you need it, your sole needs it, your kids might benefit from a stepmom, who knows, your such a wonderful person and its hard to hear and see you be so down, you have grown so much through this grief and have gained the courage and strength to keep fighting for each and everyday and that’s great, the tools you gained along the way are awesome and can help so many other people. Don’t forget about that, that was her wish to you. She knows you and knew you needed someone to be by your side. This is coming from deep love and admiration for the strength you have gained and the knowledge you have learned. Think about it, if not now maybe for later down the road.
Unfortunately we all.must move on
I hope he's careful and can find a widow. A single/non married lady or one that's divorced will be always jealous of Jenny and her presence, and likely won't love the kids as their own. My personal experience with the dreaded step parent. A widowed woman would be more understanding, and not want his life rid of all memories of Jenny.
I get it!!! I lost my husband when he was 43 in 2018. The in between ….. (the ellipsis) lasted years and years for me. I’m just now coming into my own . Give yourself grace and time! It’s ok to stay there for a while.
Hi Kyle. You are intuitive and strong! I have experienced plenty of loss and grief . I know you pray everyday but if you need someone to talk to I’m here.
Such a raw and powerful vlog 💜 I’m sure this will help so many people on the same journey and it is honouring Jenny so well 🐞 I’m glad so many of us are here to listen when you need to get things off your chest.
My mom died 14 years ago and I still grieve for her and miss talking to her. I miss calling her every day and talking about even the most insignificant things. It doesn't get easier the grief just changes.
It sure does. I am certain losing a parent feels different from losing a spouse. I lost my mom almost 30 yrs ago. Sometimes I still pick up the phone to call her.
@@tonikimpel7891 I lost my mom when I was 25 and now that I’m 60 I still miss her terribly. ❤😢❤
@@reneerunyan4103 I was 30 and will turn 60 in 4 months. It doesn't seem possible she has been gone so long. Some days it feels like yesterday.
My mom died 5 1/2 years ago and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her. I'm so grateful for time I spent with my mom and I'll miss her forever.
@@purpleviolet2058 sorry for your loss. Yes, you will miss her forever.
Thank you kyle ! I needed this today!🙏☺️
Kyle thank you for sharing this. I was in tears this entire video. Im there with you and can relate to every single word you said. Its been six months for me. I will continue praying for you and the kids. ❤️ 🙏
I’m just starting down the same road as you have been and binge watching your content. What a blessing you and Jenny are. How to navigate this horrific situation with grace, love, joy and complete honestly about finding the beauty in the ugly moments. THANK YOU. I’m less terrified than I was three months ago. Hugs from Australia
I appreciate your videos and sharing your journey. I haven’t lost a spouse, but I lost my mother when I was 12. She passed away on my 12th birthday after a battle with leukemia. I am 46 now so it’s been a long time ago. She was an amazing mother. My dad is a great dad and he did his best. It was hard though. To be without her. So now as years have passed and I’m now older than my mother was when she died. I remember her and all the things that she did for us. Because she loved being a mother. She loved her home and her family. I have felt her presence 0:07 in my life. I sure relate to being angry at times and that limbo feeling. Angry because I didn’t have my mother when I needed her going into my teenage years. Times when a girl really needs her mom. That sucks. Her life was cut short. Right in the prime of her life. She was 44. We needed her. But it’s true, life keeps going for us. Anyway this comment is getting way too long haha. Thanks for sharing your experience. As a grown woman now her lost her mother as a kid it sucks. I had to figure it out. I don’t think there is a right or wrong way to grief. There is still a big hole in my life where I didn’t have a mother. But I’m good, I’m happy and I am grateful for her and for the memories of her. For the influence she has been in my life. Even still. My dad remarried and I am so glad he has someone. I was older so it’s not like she raised me. She is a wonderful lady. Sorry for the novel here. I could go on lol. I just wanted to share because maybe it might be helpful. Especially because you’re raising your children on your own.
Kyle, you are now living Option B, the subject of Sheryl Sandberg’s book written with a psychiatrist after losing her husband suddenly while on vacation, and they had 2 young children. You want Option A, can’t have it, but as her friend said “let’s kick the s--out of Option B”. If you haven’t read this book, please think about reading it. So real, real-life examples of advice. And also good for those of us who’ve lost someone close but haven’t lost a spouse. You’re an inspiration, Kyle. You’re navigating such a horrible situation with grace and honesty. God bless you all. ❤🙏
I lost my dad to cancer 3.5 years ago and sometimes watching your videos still makes me burst out crying because I feel your pain, and I know my mom's going through the same kind of pain of losing a spouse that you are. It hurts for all of us. Grief is the worst. But it's honestly nice to get out a good cry sometimes. And I'm glad that we learn to have more and more happy moments as time goes on without them, that's what they want for us and we deserve happiness!
You feel lost. And empty. And a void that cannot be filled. And a good part of you is missing. You have a new identity- a widow, a single parent. The love, however, is undying. She walks with you, every day, every breath. The crisp breeze, the sunlight, the quietness. She is there. ❤
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It's been eight months since I lost my fiance suddenly I am finding it's getting harder. You summed it up perfectly limbo that's exactly what it feels like. I don't want to talk to anyone else I only want to talk to Chris about all sorts of things I have isolated myself. I hate having to create a whole new life without him. 😢 Sorry for your loss.
❤❤❤ Thankyou for everything you post and talk about it helps that someone can understand and to not feel alone in this heartache ❤❤❤
You have me in tears. Feel your feelings but don't feel bad about learning to laugh and live again. Your wife loved you and knew you loved her. She would never want you guys to suffer. You are a good man. Hugs to you and your kiddos
RIP Jenny.
I admire your strength and being able to articulate how you are feeling in videos. I was married for 13 years to my high school sweet heart. We were so close and happy in the first few years then things went sideways. He was very abusive and have addiction issues. I tried to be patient and kept hoping he would change or I could change him. I had to leave him and it broke me. I grieved the loss of our love. I grieved the loss of our future and making a history with him. Growing old with him. I tried to date and because I had two kids no one would be serious and I was extremely picky. I focused on my kids and worked hard to provide and he wasn’t a part of their lives. It was tough. He didnt pass away but the loss felt like a death in the sense that the man I had loved was gone. I never remarried and couldn’t and still don’t think I will find someone to share my life with. I guess I gave up. I’ve been alone for so long it’s my normal. I had a small family and all but one have passed from cancer. I don’t celebrate holidays anymore. My friends all have husbands and kids and grandkids and they are always busy doing something family related. I do t have that and I grieve that I won’t have a history with a life partner. My grandma lost her husband (my dad’s father) when my dad was a child. She never remarried after he passed away. She said she never wanted to. Do what makes you happy and enjoy your kids. They will grow up so fast. If and when you’re ready for a new love and life partner then go ahead and be happy! You deserve it. You’re a good man and stronger than you know.
I lost my Mom when I was 15. We didn't have a good relationship due to her drinking, but I miss her in certain ways. It's hard to loose anyone. You made some great points in this video. I lost my Nana when I was 17. I will be 48 on Sept 11th. She was my best friend. I miss her every day. She was my person. She raised me, and I went to her for everything. I still talk to her daily. It was a hard loss. 😢. I just kept thinking she is not in pain anymore, and she is with loved ones who she lost now. That gave me some comfort in my grief, knowing she was at peace and she was with her son, husband, cousins, and parents. She can reconnect with them. I believe in that. So maybe just be thankful that Jenny isn't in pain anymore and the cancer is gone out of her body now. Just know that she will always be with you and your kids no matter what. I really liked all the points you made on this video. They all make sense. It will get easier as time goes on. You are doing amazing.
Kyle I just sat here and listened to you, and let me just say to you that as I am sitting here I think about the day my husband went to be with Jesus, he passed 3 yrs. and 3 months
ago. We were married for 38 yrs. And I can tell you that I am so still in the limbo of it all. I try everyday to keep going but I find myself so lost without him. Your so right! Its never going to be the same for you, true love is just so beautiful and I am so lonely for his presence in my life. I pray for you and your children every day and will continue to do so. Just know God will guide you thru life. Please know that Jenny will always be in your heart and your children will continue to thrive in the years to come. God Bless your Family💞🐞
The children are thriving and living a normal life with Daddy. It is so different how a child grieves especially as young as Ellis & Winnie. Kyle should know he is helping them adjust without mom and they are doing well. Kyle on the other hand is an adult dealing with the loss of a spouse and they are two different losses. Kyle is not ok every week even in the routine of the day. No two people are as close as husband & wife. He really doesn’t want to be in this space but time is a healer. Someone mentioned the Psalms. Also I would a say get more involved with your church. Volunteer where even the kids help out.
I married my first love in 1963, march of 2019 he sat down in his chair..and was gone😢.. There are no words , the emotions change daily, i can only believe we must go on becsuse of the love we carry..he was..is..my all
Overwhelming at first,one task at a time, don't overthink, feel halfed in two, but remember you were a single unit before, it's getting used to new circumstances, don't dwell on what people think, grief roller coaster, not fair it just is!!!, replace neg thoughts with positive, one day one task at a time, you will come through,🙏 god bless
Yes I agree with everything you’ve said. Sometimes the pain is so bad I don’t want to go on. It’s so scary to have that thought of not wanting to live. I keep going to take care of my dogs. Hoping and trusting in time that feeling will go away.
This is exactly how I feel. The limbo is so hard. It has only been two and a half months since I lost my husband and I am sad all the time. I haven’t had any happy moments yet. I have had a day that was not horrible but it wasn’t good either. My kids are older- my youngest turned 17 days after my husband’s first brain aneurysm. They can’t even talk about him, they don’t like me talking about him because it hurts. Oh the limbo is just so so hard. I get all this. I just want to talk to him and Netflix and chill 😢❤😢. It is the little things. It is all the things. Wishing you peace and thank you for sharing- it is terrible but also comforting to know these feelings are “typical”. The night quiet is the worst.
Praying for you and your family!!! God bless all who have lost someone! It stinks when you are in Grief!! God is with you!!!
Love you Kyle. Ride the waves. Sending positive thoughts your way. Thanks for sharing your journey, both the good and not so good. It touches hearts ❤
Kyle you and Jenny have helped me by sharing your journey. I found your family, shared your love, your hope, your disappointments. Reality. At the time my life was that of a caregiver to two people I love. I lost mom two months ago. She saw the change in me. She seemed to be happier. I was less stressed when I was with her. Your love. Your gentle care. Always there for your babies. I changed for the better. I believe you taught me patience. ( I’m originally from New York and Italian. Fact is… not a patient person!) My husband still struggles but I believe that he will get stronger and each day I am thankful for you and your family for what you taught me and for making me stronger and more understanding. Thank you.
We are always here Kyle.
Your video is so helpful to not feel alone in my grief. It’s devastating and you spoke my heart. Thank you, keep on doing what you’re doing, it is helping thousands of souls. Love to you and your babies. 💔
Grief is an individual process. Your pace is your pace and it’s perfect for YOU. No one else walks in your shoes. Jenny would want you & the kids to be happy. Are you doing anything & everything to be healthy & happy?
It’s difficult to lose “your person”.
I’m glad you share and are open with your feelings & thoughts. You are a great human Kyle. Praying for you & yours.
I remember someone explaining this as familiarity. It takes a while for that to change become not so familiar. It will never go away completely. Hugs Kyle. Praying for you.
In the hospital, Jenny said you were allowed to be happy, and not to worry about what people thought. She said this for the very reasons you are speaking of right now. She knew overwhelmed would be an understatement. You have rocked this, touched so many hearts, and have made your Jenny and your children so proud! You two will forever be synced in your hearts. You will probably always wonder what her thoughts are on even silly things. That's the beauty of it! Jenny wants you to be happy. She wants Ellis and Winnie to be happy. You all deserve to be whole again! Praying for ya'll from MS!
That's true but it doesn't have to be someone else!!! He can and should take time to heal!!!!✌️
That may be your truth, but not his. All people have different wants and needs. He is trying to explain in this video that something is missing from his life and that something is a life partner to share in his joy of his children his life, the kids getting married, having grandchildren etc. He doesn't want to do life alone. He is thinking beyond right now. That's very clear. The kids will only be there another 10 years or so, then what? The kids move on, start a family and he is alone in the house without a partner to share life with and do things with. Everyone is different. Some people lose a spouse and are perfectly happy living the rest of their life alone. But we need to remember, he is only 30 years old and has about 50 years of his life left and I don't blame him for not wanting to be alone forever. That is a sad and depressing existence for some people. Jenny would not expect him to live a life of depression. If he wants a partner to share life with, we need to respect that. He is a very young man and no one should expect him to live the next 50 years a lonely individual.
@@GroundhogBaby Get out of your feelings!!!!! I didn't say for the rest of his life!!! I said he needs time to heal!!!! And that means not running out and getting with someone random!!!! Heal and learn to love your own company!!! Now that's my truth !!!!✌️
@@strongwoman2668 it's going on a year since Jenny passed. That's not rushing out and getting married. It takes time to find the right person especially since he has 2 children. Even after he meets the right person it may be years before he gets married. I'm not suggesting he rush into marriage, I'm just saying there's no reason he can't date and meet someone he can share things with and have adult companionship with. He doesn't need to feel lonely or be unhappy being alone, while he lets life pass him by. Obviously he won't marry immediately, but he will have companionship to fill the void he's feeling. And Kyle doesn't strike me as the type to get with someone random. He will always be looking out for the wellbeing of his children as well.
@@GroundhogBaby Well said you got that one. I wish nothing but the best for him and his children.🙏🙏
Thank you for sharing. My heart goes to you as you as I hear your pain of missing your Jenny. I wish I could send hugs thru to you as I hear your raw grief. It touches your listeners so much. That mask is real and well said. I hope being able to express and share your grief to help others also helps you. 😢
Kyle you are doing amazing and should be proud of yourself. Jenny will always live in our hearts and mind🦋🌈🪽❤️🙏
Oh Kyle this broke my heart. I wish I could make it all better for you. It’s not fair. You are doing such n amazing job but I totally get where you coming from. Huge hugs ♥️♥️
A bridge in life that *everyone* has to cross, regardless of relationship status; it sucks, but that's how life is designed.
Haven't been on in awhile. Dealing with my own losses(brother,dad and nana) since last time I was on. Sending healing prayers for you and your family ❤🙏🏻
Thank you Kyle. A much needed message. ❤
I can relate, it's the little things you miss, things that aren't actually that little because they are part of everyday life, they are extremely important♥ it's not easy and I don't know if it gets any easier, I hope so. You're a great father but I understand the burden you feel on your shoulder
Just an observation, before you could not have expressed this without breaking down. You didnt cry, so while it feels like limbo, what i see is someone doing the best they can and inching through the most turbulent part of grief.
Perfectly said, I noticed that too x
Can't thank you enough for sharing these thoughts and feelings. Being able to connect with others through our grief helps so much. ❤
I felt that way when my husband up and left. A different kind of grief. Raising a family alone is hard. You need a partner to hold the reigns with. People think i should get over it because he left us in the lurch overnight, but he was my person. Hes come back around years later but you know how that goes.
I’m sorry. I know that’s so so hard…💔❤️
Praying for you and your and Jenny's children brother. Pulling for you!
Being a single parent is very hard and then throw grief ontop of that, you feel like you are starting over! It’s such a rollercoaster and so many triggers! You’ll find your self talking to yourself or your animals!
This was a very very important video to me as I grieve my loss, thank you
Limbo is a good word for it. You’ve been doing a great job dealing with all this. Not saying there’s one way of dealing with it over another. However, you have stepped up, through the pain and made your beautiful kids and home life a priority. It’s a new journey. I’ve been alone for 12 years now. There was a period of adjusting that was not comfortable. I can’t tell you how long it was before acceptance and peace came. But it’s still difficult at times being alone. It’s ok to feel joy with family and friends. It’s ok to feel the pain and loneliness. ♥️🙏🏼🕊️ …continued prayers for you and your family.
I’ve been married and divorced. And I’ve given up. But I have never had a person like that in my life. A best friend, someone you could turn to. So it’s hard for me to even imagine. I did see how much you and Jenny loved each otherwhat a wonderful husband you were to her during, her illness. And one of wonderful father you are.
I’m sorry. I can tell you’re hurting and I wish you weren’t. Sending you well wishes.
Hello dear Kyle, I am from Greece and I have a chronic illness and I became worse the day Jenny died. I watched all this journey and somehow this date was a date that I related with Jenny. Have you ever imagine how do you help many of us passing through difficult moments on every corner of this earth? I live in Greece and I am affected of all this. You are doing good so far, let the tears out and you are an example for all. Love you greetings from Greece
Hi Kyle, when you ask yourself these questions remember your conversations with Jenny ❤️she told you to be happy and take care of the kids,and you are doing that ❤you are doing a wonderful job Kyle 🥰
Kyle u will have gooddays bad days sad dsys u have done amazing job with ur children and u all i can say that keep the love the memories a live with jen and keep therapy in mind and god
People who have gone through this really understand what you are going through. I lost my husband 9 years ago from a heart attack
I was 44 and he was 48
He passed right in front of me and my 16 year old son. We didn’t get to say goodbye or tell him things we wanted to he was just gone like that! Even after 9 years it is hard! My son suffers from anxiety and depression from losing his dad who was his best friend. I am crying thing this.
You are doing such an amazing job raising your 2 young children. Jenny is looking down on you and is so proud of you!
I resonated so much with this video. I lost my husband Aug. 8, 2023 to cancer and it's been so up and down (mostly down) through this the whole journey. It's like you and your spouse are a beautiful oak tree getting established when you first get together and you establish your root system with them. As the years and experiences progress, your roots become deeper and deeper and expand getting stronger with each day. One day a horrible storm comes and lightning hits the tree and wipes out half of that beautiful established oak tree and the other half is there but it's struggling so badly to survive without the other half. In time it will grow stronger but it will never be the same again. It's one of the hardest journeys I've ever experienced. Kyle, like you, I miss him and I need him to help me navigate this life. We were a team and now we're on our own to make all the decisions and hope we're doing the right thing. I'm sure we are though. I feel for you and your children. I keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. This is one of the hardest emotions to navigate. Sending lots of loving energy to you guys.
I feel just like you. I had such a hard time making decisions for so long. I do though get proud of myself when I make a decision and it works out great. I just miss him so much. Being in limbo is so hard but it gets easier. I’ve been missing my husband for 3 years and 8 months. Seems like an eternity since he went to Heaven. Praying for all of us who have lost our beloved, our person, our partner in life. Sending hugs.
Cancer is a beast and things will be hard at times and of course it's not fair. I lost my mom when I was nine and it was very hard for me for years. Losing a spouse is hard for sure. One thing at a time and one moment at a time. You will get through this tough time in your life. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability and grief. I totally understand. It's ok to be upset sad angry. Totally normal and some days will be great and others it'll hit you hard. Big hugs to you and your kiddos. Hang in there Kyle. 🙏 God knows where you are at and understands it all. He is near the brokenhearted. Your heart is broken Kyle and you will get out of it one day. Don't feel you have to rush the grief.
Kyle. I am very proud of you , you are very very good taking care of the children 🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️😊
My husband of 22 years died ten years ago and I’m still grieving. You just take your time.
I lost my partner in April of this year to cancer. We only got 5 years together. I grieve the loss of him, as well as the loss of our future. Now it’s just the dog and me. Sometimes it feels like all of the air is gone.
Kyle",,, You are One Incredible" person. Your Doing such an incredible Job,, as a Dad.... Eventually " you need to start thinking" of a New " Woman, or a Friend.... Jenny is in a beautiful Place Now....... You Deserve" a new life"..... eventually you will.....