Here is a reason a lot of newer writers use "whispered", "grunted", or "articulate" etc. English teachers tell you to not use "said" as it is used too "often" and the authors/writers just think 'I should use said less often because it's bad.'
yup, Stephen king is right on this one - "said" runs right through your mind and is immediately understood, anything else causes the reader to have to stop and "understand" the word. Also, the reader should be able to "hear" how the character is saying something through context and history, you shouldnt have to specifically *tell* them.
Indeed! Using another word should be reserved for added emphasis either due to importance or because the character's tone is that marked (which is usually important in that moment). The rest of the time, a reader will develop a voice for a well-written character that carries most dialogue. Though that makes me wonder what Alexa Donne's thoughts on italics in dialogue are.
I write in first person, from my characters perspective. For example. Character dialog: I can't believe he did that to me. I turn to him and say, 'hey man, that was complete bullshit.' -- END. I constantly use, "I say. He says, she says." What else is there to use?
1. Info dumping: too much info, or back-story, esp. in the beginning. Better to spread the info out throughout the book via character interaction or action. 2. Describing everything: books are not a play-by-play of real-life. It's boring, it slows down the plot. 3. Not enough conflict: Story should be driven by conflict-resolution-conflict-resoltuion. Conflict is a continuing racketing of tension as the story continues. 4. Nothing Bad Happens to Main Character, or is Perfect, has no Flaws: This will put an artificial limit on how much conflict and/or bad events that drive the story forward. 5. Really Messy Dialog Tags: every dialog has a 'he said', or '[name] spoke'. Just use 'said'. Nothing more is needed. It's not detracting. Use any additional description very sparingly, when absolutely needed. Get your punctuation right, it's a simply thing to get down. 6. Too Many Points of View: Stories don't need extra POV; this drains the tension. It's also very difficult to execute well. Keep it simple, single POV from the main character. 7: White Room Syndrome: Variant on 'show don't tell'; aka when characters are in a scene but no description or detail has been provided. Story ends up feeling generic.
In the book I'm writing, the character looks for her biological mother the entire book only to find that she was hours too late from her mother's DEATH.
@@jirahjashmiermacalino7556 and @Sanne it's not ready for the world to see just yet but I have high hopes for it. (I've already written the first very bad book you see.)
This was great, I have been researching "how to sell ebooks on your own website" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you ever come across - Zansabella Zondalyn Scheme - (just google it ) ? Ive heard some super things about it and my partner got excellent success with it.
Honestly same. My MC is not only a cigarette smoker but a weed connosoir because he saw his mom get beheaded by a truck. Not to mention, almost everyone he knows is an addict aaaand he gets to see 10 people die. And witness a triple homicide.
In elementary school they taught us "said is dead" and I believed it. I began watching TH-cam videos and reading blogs to help improve my writing. That's when I learned that you, as Alexa says, should use "said" 95% of the time.
Most of the all time great authors use only said about 95% of the time. Every ten years or so, somebody comes out of the woodworks to say that said is dead. Don’t know why, but that’s what happens. In general with writing fiction, let the reader do 2+2. Do not give them 4. Using only said most of the time is an example of giving them 2+2.
@@OddlyElly Yes, trust the reader. But I really learned this lesson actually from screenwriting. One of the first screenplays I wrote had an abundance of acting direction. And one of the first notes I got on it was to trust the actors and let them act. If you dictate how they say something, you may not get the best delivery of the line.
School teaches you this because in essay work, said is dead. If you’re writing a narrative as an essay, you may not want to use said all the time, as it doesn’t express your vocabulary and understanding. Writing a novel though- USE SAID. I love wattpad but I can never get into a story if every dialogue ends in ‘he exclaimed. She murmured.’ Of course there’s appropriate times but use it sparingly
Just started watching these. I've just started writing my book today and, even though I think all that you mention are things that I already subconsciously knew, this video is great help. Wish me luck :)
Her: "What's the worst thing that could happen to my character?" Me: "He gets hit by a truck and dies." Her: "Do that thing!" Me: "But then I don't have a protagonist, or a plot, or a hero, or... or a book..."
Haha, I see what you mean :P In most cases, though, what I mean is... what's the worst thing someone could say in this moment--what would really upset my MC, or spur them into action? If my character really wants X, I should do Y to prevent them from having that thing. And so on :)
Christopher Dibbs Isekai was in 2017 a very popular genre in Japanese novels and mangas. Isekai literary means another world. The most common way to kill ppl is by truck-kun (kun refers to a male in japanese) and they get reincarnated in another world. Other ways are summons, vase-chan (chan refers to a lower ranked female or a close friend) or just a mistake from kami-sama (kami=god sama = someone with a higher rank)
I read a fanfic (so it kinda gets a pass but still) that used “uttered” a little too much. Like I’m sorry, but usually I don’t read books that have dialogue like this: “Where is it?” Sue uttered. “Over there, behind the shelf,” Bob replied. “I saw it on the kitchen table earlier,” Jimmy mumbled. He smirked, knowing he hid it earlier. I usually hear “uttered” like: As blood flowed from her chest, right where her heart was, she uttered her final words and took her last breath. “It was under the doormat.” But I’m a newbie to writing. So...yep. Let me know if I’m totally wrong and using uttered like a normal dialogue tag is okay. (You know when you DO use dialog tags) Edit: another one I read (on wattpad or tumblr or something) And I (not really) quote: “You’re so sweet!” I *verbalized* as I sat down. “Something something,” He *opined* as he ate. *hazed* *issued* *announced* Like, ZERO “said” in there.
You should use the word "said" as the main word to avoid complications from the readers,but not too much to prevent the dialogue tag sounding too faulty.Only use understandable special words to emphasize the tone in which they speak.Too many Special words each and after every dialogue will make the reader confused,slowing the experience down.If I was a reader,I would ask myself "What does Verbalised and Opined even mean?".Special Words should always be supported by context clues so that readers can understand it a bit without the confusion.Here is an example i thought off: They walked around the unfamiliarity of the place.Where are they? Why was it so dark?? He looked visibly scared,holding his flashlight tightly as he shun a dark room with it. "Why is this place so terrifying?",He whimpered,keeping his pace. "I don't know,but I don't like it.It feels too...quiet.We have to find our friend and get out of here,who knows what may happen in this place.." "I...I guess,but I wished we brought some useful things to make things easier,L-Like a knife,or food..." "Sheesh,Even in this dark place,you still want to eat? Quite a hungry guy.",She joked while giggling.He almost dropped his flashlight as he saw something small and fast crawling Infront of him."I-I Saw something!",He said,Terrified."It was just a rat,relax! You're not in any trouble,you know!",She said,Putting her hand on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him... ----------- You should also note that you shouldn't use too many dialogue tags or else it'd be annoying,like what I did in the example.You could use them if you feel like readers are starting to lose track of the speaker behind the dialogue (If there are multiple characters who are talking). You would also put dialogue tags if there's an additional action after it,like "He proudly exaggerated while he put one of the boxes where he thinks it belongs." or "I said,Trying hard to not lose sight of the guiding path". This is my personal opinion and a thought,so please listen to other writers' advices before you determine whether mine is good or bad.Her video should be able to help you figure out some more mistakes in writing to avoid.
so guilty of white room syndrome. I get so caught up in the dialogue and character interactions and I forget to actually explain/describe where they are in the scene. interestingly enough, I started to attempt writing screen plays since they are mostly based on dialogue with brief set descriptions in the header. but that was even MORE difficult. it's really a double edged sword.
"Bc we like our character, we don't want to do bad things to them" Me: *is writing a book about a traumatizing experience to my character and how she gets crazy over time after killing her own best friend accidentally* Me: oh well, so true
Hes 12 and shes 16 and at the time she doesn't remember that there siblings cos her bf was forced to make her forget (he has powers) but she remembers later
"He edjaculated…don't use that". Hahaha, well that depends on what type of story you want ;) (Though it does make for an interesting conversational tag…context people!)
I’ve been working on a book series for almost three years now, I started writing it on my iPod but then moved on to a new computer after a year. I completely re-wrote everything and worked on characters and conflicts. It’s a sci fi series about aliens and stuff I really put a lot of effort into it and I’m sure everybody here has too. It’s so great to see others like me writing stories🙂 But I have to say...killing off characters is fun
I do single character POV per scene. It is actually sorta like first person POV disguised as third-person POV. Each scene is written with one character's POV no exceptions. I do switch POV from character to character but never do I have multiple POV in any one scene. If I wanna switch POV to another character I go four spaces down and start a new scene. Totally agree with your advice on dialogue tags; 95% of time it is he said or she said, very few adverbs added. Some good advice I would add is never contract words in narration. It's good to do it in dialogue but in narration I always write could not instead of couldn't or did not instead of didn't. It drives me bananas to see writers writing the narrative so similar to dialogue. You want definition between narration, description, and dialogue, which are the three pillars of fiction.
Ugh! Info-dumping...first draft I feel it is inevitable and it'll be there, but I think once you recognize it then it's easier to cut out. When I first started writing my main character was always beautiful/hunky and handsome and had no flaws, but now I've grown out of that and it all came with practice. And you are so right when I first start writing I never wanted anything too terrible to happen to them and now I'm like abusing them lol! Oh and I strongly dislike when a book has multiple POV, like two or three fine, but more than that ugh I have a lot of opinions and feelings on that as well, so I look for to a video on that. He ejaculated! HAHAHAHA! :):):) Great video, Alexa!
It's really refreshing to see this first draft info-dumping thing is way more common then I thought. Sometimes I find it easier to just intentionally start off with over the top info dumping and world building almost as a... pre-first draft? Like zero effort into even making it an entertaining story. That way I can use it as a kinda reference to build a first draft from. Also I can relate to the perfect main character thing. I KNOW they need flaws but I often have a hard time making them not flawed enough... like Oh here's this space marine that has been genetically created by the army to be the perfect soldier... oh and lol he lost his arm but its ok because now he has a cyborg arm that's even stronger and even has a built in coffee machine.
This is great, all through English class when learning to write all my teacher preached was DONT USE SAID ANYTHING BUT SAID. Apparently it was for people who don't know how to use a dictionary. Said is a good word.
8:06 YES. I am SO guilty of skipping through uninteresting character pov's when I read. Watching the video, I am pretty glad that I've conquered most of these things in my writing! Still, I have a long way to go. I am procrastinating writing right now. Side note: I love that you support fanfic, Alexa Donne. It's what made me want to write, read, and discover. After watching a few of your videos and thinking about it, I think I have conquered most of these issues by binge-reading fanfic. It's a great never-ending cycle: I read one, search for better ones, search through fic recs, and then when I can't find the writing I'm looking for, I write it myself.
@Riley Harper Correction: I used to do it. Now, I think I'm better at it. Although I usually avoid reading poorly done pov's because that is generally what happens. I get frustrated or bored.
In my fantasy world, a lot of bad things happen to my characters! One of them gets really bad heat stroke and passes out for a long time, one gets their leg smashed by a rock, my main character gets bit by a poisonous spider and almost dies, one gets her foot slashed by a sharp tree branch, etc. I’m not afraid to give them injuries or conflict. It’s fun to put that in since it makes the story exciting
This is great, sometimes I'm scared to twist my characters, but I read this tip somehere that you should sometimes be careful with all the damage, because too many tragedies with no consequences to the story makes readers less scared for the characters.
I feel like the Info dumping thing is a first book first draft must, especially if you don't yet know your book and the world yet. The real problem is when it stays there in the second draft and beyond. "Murder is fun! MuRdEr!!" Hahahahaha yes Also dying at the dialogue tag example and grammar lesson I'm hella guilty of most of these at one point in my writing or another.
It depends on how much planning you do before you start. If you have everything planned out there's no reason to info dump. Honestly, even in a 1st draft there is no excuse. Just write your info dump, and then cut it and put it in a notes or world building file and that's that. If you know you're writing something you're going to take out later then why leave it?
Alex Tamburro I use multiple spreadsheets and outlines to figure out my fantasy world so that it is written out and planned. But I try not to bring it up on the story unless it adds to it. For instance my world has different month names and names of days and holidays, but it never came up in the story. Only once did I mention the name of a month. But it was good to have it in my head so I knew what it was and it flowed naturally. Wasn’t forced into a “info dump.” Just my two cents.
Alex Tamburro I absolutely agree. Info dumping in the first draft actually helps me so much. It’s so helpful to get everything down on paper. It might not be pleasant to read, but you can fix it all in the second drafts
I agree harvey - it's so much easier to add than detract, and although we know a draft is just that, you shouldn't put anything in your draft you absolutely know wouldn't be in your final. Like, stuff where you're not sure, or stuff you'll definitely need to clean up, sure, but stuff where you say, "I'm going to write this then definitely cut this" why write it (there) at all? I think it's much better to keep a background page or file - if the stuff isn't going to be in the end story anyway, it allows you to reference your world without slogging through the story, and doesn't allow you to forget to cut things out.
Still telling myself this stuff after being traditionally published for adults and children - forever. Each novel throws up new challenges. Thanks for the reminders! Appreciate it xx
I'm not a creative writer and I'm not planning on becoming one but I found this really interesting. I guess the problem with new writers using a lot of specific and active dialogue tags is because most of us are trained to use them in school papers. I was always searching through thesaurus when writing school papers because I thought using the same word twice was a sin worthy of F lol
As a reader I can testify that I don't really register when the writer uses "said" and whenever I pay extra attention i'm surprised how much it is used in my favorite books.
Love these tips. The multiple POV issue drives me nuts even with big name authors. I have skipped whole chapters in some books because I really could not bring myself to care about that person (sometimes I have to go back and drum up some give-a-damn because I missed some key information in that chapter). Its just frustrating and I love that you acknowledged it.
Your older videos are just as good as your newer ones. ❤❤❤ Thank you for being you. I love listening to you, but especially when I'm in a mental health slump and trying to get out and motivated to write. ❤
I’ve been writing ever since i was 9, I’m 29 right now, and i still suck at writing, i sometimes don’t even place a POV in my drafted fanfics. "SANS, WAKE UP LAZYBONES" Papyrus said in annoyance. Sans was still asleep peacefully on the living room couch for the past 7 hours even he knew that he had to go to sentry duty. as much as Papyrus loved his brother, he sometimes wished that he would be more active when it came to sentry duty. I also use a story circle called "The Heroes Journey" by John Campbell whenever i make sci-fi, adventure, fantasy, and/or romance fanfics
As a new writer, your channel is a breath of fresh air! I am someone who has always naturally gravitated towards writing, but I was afraid to dive in deep, do some research and actually practice writing because... well, I was afraid to discover I suck 😂. The way you talk about it is comprehensible, light-hearted and honest, making me a bit less scared to just go ahead and suck sometimes 😉
When I'm reading a book and the word "ejaculated" comes up as a dialogue tag it takes me out of the story for a moment, it's such a weird word to use for a dialogue tag. Literally, I've seen that word used in a published piece of work. White room syndrome is something I struggle with too, I tend to focus so much on the characters that I forget to write about the environment.
Have the characters interact with the environment, Like when they look away they see the paintings on the wall, or when their angry they throw books off the bookshelf. Not too much tho
What a powerful video. I feel like we all have our pet peeves and mistakes we commit, in my case I am specifically very prone to the white-room syndrome you mention. I adore dialogues but I am not including enough descriptions to make the reader imagine the scenery and it feels like the characters are talking floating in a white room xD I also overwrite: some scenes I create have no tension/conflict, people just talk and nothing happens xD They could comfortably be cut! Another thing I do and am not sure how it is called is when I force the characters into my plot-outline even if they might not do or say some things do to their personalities. Perhaps this is something that Architect writers do.
I will say that sometimes adding an extra POV or two can save a series. I'm talking about the Red Queen. I'm obviously also talking about my own personal experience reading it. It wasn't until Evangeline that I was like okay I don't mind this anymore.
A novel writer is not my dream. I do want to look at other writing opportunities and for that reason I am checking out your channel. So many great nuggets.
8:00 Oo I felt that one. Having read the Star Wars book "A New Dawn" recently, I can say it suffered the same problem for me. Maybe because I'm biased towards one of the main characters already, but the chapters in the villain and supporting character's point of view was just... boring. LIKE WE GET IT, YOURE A CLUTZ AND KANAN HATES YOU. It got better about it near the end, though and I still liked the book, (I think it had a great message, "Hey, maybe Im not going to be alright, but when has it not worked out for us? I'll just have to go along with it.", basically) I just wish it actually focused on the main character more.
The title made me skeptical. Usually such videos oversimplify and don't provide too much good advice. It was a very good surprise, great post. Thanks a lot!
Really useful and nesessary (nope) remark from a foreigner. I liked how you explained the punctuation in dialogue, because in my native language it is completely different. If we use quotation mark, we should put a comma after it, It is so annoying when people confuse them. Pleasing to know that in English it is also this irritating,)))
I know this is an older video, but your bit about punctuation in dialogue tags is a thing I get just so much. Just, punctuation really gets me, lol. Also, you make a very good point about the multiple POV. I had an idea concerning the concept earlier tonight. Then I remembered when I read Eldest (the second book in the Eragon series), and how I really identified with only one of the couple different POVs, which made the other ones boring to me. When I read the book in 7th grade, I skipped the chapters with POVs I found boring and came back to them at the end, which was really dumb, I think. Also, yay for being trained in journalism! I was an editor for my college newspaper's opinions section for three years. I also dabbled in news writing.
I know I've got something bad happening to my characters when I want to cry. I don't cry often. I still have white room syndrome. I understand the rough draft being like that, but, usually in editing some places can stay like that... Okay most. Don't judge me.
I'm a new writer, but for white room syndrome, I always let the reader know what room or place we're in and if this is the first time in that place I give just one paragraph explaining how it looks, feels, and smells. No longer than a paragraph and then I begin writing in that place. As the scene progresses in that place I will sometimes have the character interact with little details (nearly stumbled over a big log or saw a painting she made when she was little, scoffed, and covered it up) these add more details to the scenery and can also add more to the characters development or personality. It helps to flesh out a scene without getting too much into telling while still working on the plot, scene, and characters along the way in a showing kind of way.
Alexa, how do you now when you chapter is complete? How do you know if your characters are over dramatic? If the dialogue is interesting? If the characters are three dimensional? I am having trouble expressing emotions when’s i write facial and body language.
I'm slowly getting better at all of these the more I write, even if it's just a tiny snippet of something or an idea. But since English is my second language I think it's a lot harder to get everything right, bc I love pretty words and I want to include them EVERYWHERE
@@robinlawnmower42 exactly, that's why writing advice should never be taken as rock-hard rules. Pretty much everything works when the writer knows what they're doing.
I gotta say I really enjoy your content, Im not planning on writing any books but I have a shit-ton of OCs and your advice gives me a hell of a lot of help in writing characters and stories! Keep up the good work!
I read a book once with 5 different points of views and I just had to scrap reading it despite liking the plot because it was just impossible to follow 🙄
“Walk before you run!” Yup, you just sold me on POV narrative’s! You’re so right! All the other videos that discuss this doesn’t quite hit the nail on the head like you do. Thanks! 😘💕👍🏻
I seriously love your videos. I’ve learned so much and you’ve helped give me the confidence to finally begin writing after years of putting it off. Thank you for taking the time to do these. 🙏🏼
My Characters are never flawless (I figured that out 1 year ago), I come up with good plots, I describe my surroundings and everything is ready. in fact my chapter 1 always turns out strong.... But, that's it. from the second chapter, I go blank. T.T I cant come up with anything after the first chapter, even after doing all the prior homework. Please give me some tips to get out of that chapter 1
Maybe just ignore chapters and write in scenes instead? So you're not bogged down by what should go where, and how to format, instead you're just focused on the story
Keep writing, even if it's rubbish, instead of trying to make your first chapter perfect before you move on. You can fix mistakes in the second draft, but first you have to actually write it!
One thing I love to do is think about my plot and a possible scene. I don’t care where in the story it falls, but write it. I work backwards sometimes. Write ending alternatives, climax alternatives. Save them in a separate doc to refer to later on. I feel this helps you see direction a lot and motivate you forward.
I'm currently writing a novel with two POVs. I totally get the point, that it might be unnecessary in most cases but I'm gonna stick to my two POVs since it adds a lot more depth to the storyline
the pov thing really drives me nuts lately... especially when ppl write smth thats mainly a romance. unless you do something really creative with the povs, we dont need more than one pov in a romance lol
You are wonderful! Thank you for this. Some of these things I never would have thought of until I waded hip deep into them. A couple of these I now see I am guilty of and can start working to curb the tendency. I have liked & subscribed & will also share.
one of my fave book series had multiple povs, There were two characters that I just hated but there were five others that I loved and it wasnt that big of a deal untill the final book when it was mainly just the two characters I hated and my favourite characters pov wasnt even in the book even though he was one of the most important characters. I glossed over it ans dont remeber how it ended but the ones with the least amount of the two characters are fan favourites.
Other Helen Let me guess: you're referring to the Heroes of Olympus series, you hate Jason and Piper, and you really wanted to have a Percy POV but Blood of Olympus didn't have one
when I was a kid in school they always told me I should use "said" as sparingly as possible, but when I'm actually writing it's just the most natural word to use. I get kinda caught up on it thinking I'm repeating the word too much so it's nice to hear that it's not necessarily a bad thing
4:58 I'm thinking the same exact way! Hmmm How to make her suffer? What's the most awful thing that could happen.... All day and night I'm thinking about continuing the story in my book. I can't live without writing. That's me❤️🙄
I am writing from the love interest(boy's) POV while I wanna keep the main character's POV(girl's) as a special element as it'd turn the table around. So is it okay or should I write it from the boy's POV only?
Not sure if you'll ever read this, but I thought I'd give it a try. What are your thoughts on funneling POVs, setting up a duo POV for separate characters (more then that would in my opinion make it confusing for the reader to keep up with your story) that will meet quite early in the story, they might meet each other towards the end of first chapter. At that point you change to the main POV as both characters are in the same scene. Might have dumbed it down too much, but wanted to make sure you understood what i'm refereeing too. Loved the video, might have caught myself on a few of those over the years hehe.
The more I watch your videos, the more I realize that my first story actually doesn't suck as much as I thought it would 😂 but I'm still new to writing stories (´∩。 ᵕ 。∩`) thanks for your guidance
I need to go back and look at my dialogue tags. Thanks for the informative videos. Could you do a video about standard manuscript format for fiction books? I've read many different versions of this and I'm not sure which to do. Can you just keep using a Word document or need a program like Scrivener? Chapter headings two thirds down the page, spacing, margins, and boring fonts?
Sure, I can do something on that! I can show everyone how I format... I do use Scrivener to export to a Word Doc, and so it does a lot of stuff for me. I don't know if my way is the way but my agent/editor haven't disowned me yet :) Great idea!
I've just found your channel thanks. The first one I watched was the "nobody cares" one, and I was hooked. I'm hoping you've nipped a few of my bad habits in the bud. Love your honest and entertaining delivery
Hey, there's one thing I don't get about dialogue punctuation. So if a character asks a question, is the "he" or "she" capitalized? Like, is it: "Who are you?" she asked -- or is it: "Who are you?" She asked.
The quotation mark replaces the comma, so it becomes a lower s. 'Who are you?' she asked. In replacing the comma it shows that it's part of the same sentence.
6:20 I just want to add a disclaimer here. I know that in American English it's considered correct form to put the comma inside the quotation marks. But for British English, the comma comes after the quotation marks. It makes sense if you think about it. The dialogue tag after the quotation marks is part of the sentence, and the spoken part is a complete sentence. If the dialogue tag weren't there, the sentence within the quotation marks would end with a full stop (period). So if you're watching this from the UK, remember it's correct form for you to put the comma after the quotation marks, for example: "This is a sentence", she said.
Have a good sketch of your characters, but don't get too obsessed with mapping them out in advance. Allow their voice and personality to emerge organically - in other words, just write. As you do, you'll get a better, more natural feel for who they are as people.
Well if you're passionate about it you can finish a book within a year like how I did. Though I was planning it out in my head before I started it. I mainly focused on one character. I usually make side ones up as the story moved forward. It works.
1:25 I know what you mean by play by play- like describing a hotel room a character stays in for one night in EXTREME detail, and describing an area they visit often just a bit. Example: He walked into the hotel room. It had a green rug with yellow details on the edges, covered in patterns of pale purple flowers. On the rug sat a deep green couch, in front of which was a chocolatey brown table. This gave off a cozy aura, complimented by the cool tan paint on the walls. Tucked into a corner was a bed with green sheets and a yellow pattern, with chocolate wood making up the frame. The pillows on it looked SUPER soft. He couldn't wait to sleep later. He walked into the bathroom, and was met with a classic claw-footed tub, a beautiful sink, and a mirror so clean it was like you could slip through it. An array of brushes lay on the pale white counter. -------------- And guess what. He never used the brushes, because he pulls one out of the backpack I mentioned... Didn't I? It pained me to write that. There were SO many qualities in that which were missing. I should have described how his shoulders sagged under the weight of his pack, how he shook slightly with exhaustion... Maybe there was sweat dribbling down his forehead, as I've noticed happens when boys work hard. But no- I focus on the ROOM, which, by the way, is a stop in a layover in a town. Which he probably never goes back to. Heck, it might not even get a name, it's so insignificant! You know what would have been better, I shouldn't have to tell you people. As a second note, that writing moves both to quickly and too slowly. We know to much about the room too fast, and the writing should be sluggish along with the character. Observations should happen as they complete tasks through the room to unpack.
Just think about how people talk in real life or in movies. In movies, think of a scene where two characters are talking casually. That's my two cents. :)
I really appreciate this tipps and after watching this Video I don't really feel like a Bad Writer anymore since I realized i'm NOT doing most of These Things, except for using more Special words instead of 'said'
And, my english might be really bad and I might seem like I couldn't write a single page without thousands of mistakes but well it's not my first language lol
Watson (yes, sir Arthur conan doyle's sherlock Holmes's watson) wasn't the first time I encountered "he ejaculated" and I burst out laughing. I was in a church at the time (already an atheist but forced to go because I was sti in high school). And he ejaculated very, very often.
If you don't have any specific ideas, what about writing some fanfic? It's fun and can help you learn a lot about writing, while you wait for your own ideas to come :)
Also, if you don't One I what to write, or have a writers block, you could go to a random word generator and grab five or six words and string a story out of it. It might bring a really good idea to mind or you can just use it for warm-up.
Or you can also create a hook. A hook is like one sentence that kind of describes your book. A hook can be "a human girl gets recruited into a gang of aliens" or something. Then you ask yourself questions like "why is this good/bad?" "what was the girl like before this?" "what was she doing to find herself in this situation?" Take some time to think about all these questions. Develop a beginning, middle and end before diving deeper into the plot, outlining fine detail and character traits and before you know it, you have a story!
Take a moment you remember feeling really sad. Think about how you handled it...but then think about someone with a different gender, different family life, different friends may handle it. Then keep building from there. You may just stumble across a character you want to learn more about and see how they resolve the situation you faced and the problems they face.
Love all the ideas here, although as both a reader and author, I'm not as down on creative dialog tags. There's a vast difference between a shy man saying "I love you" and whispering it. 😉 Other than that, totally agree with you. Especially about punctuation!
I'm actually in the 6th chapter of my first book. I'm glad I watched this. From the amount of reading I've done in the past, I derived this information and was careful not to do it. There is a fine line between white wall syndrome and over describing things. I like that she did the "Sprinkle" thing with her hand. I call it seasoning the story. A juicy Ribeye may be a great piece of meat, but I'm still not going to eat it unless it's seasoned and cooked to perfection. Sprinkle the seasoning throughout. Not just on one side or the other. Not just one half or the other. Cook it up according to the conflict you want. The heat, action and conflict drives the books. The character, I learned day one, cannot be a Hemingway Hero. This is 2018. We cannot have perfect characters, it's not relate-able. My dialogue though. Really struggling with that. I don't want to use tags unless its a last resort. I want the conversation to flow organically, but not in line where you are reading a wall of text. It's hard to break up someone ranting. Dialogue is the hardest part of writing for me. I would love to take a class specifically on how to write dialogue.
I kind of disagree (somewhat agree) the the multiple points of views; i think that if your story is complex enough where there are multiple large subplots linking in to make a large main plot then multiple points of views are warranted. I also think it depends on genre. I have never read a good fantasy book with ine point of view. Ever. And 70%of my 200 book collection is fantasy. Books like that where worlds are complex, the plot is complex need more than one view point. How else are you supposed to move the plot along? The issue is that most nee writers don't do it well. Fantasy is a hard genre to write in, especially with multiple povs. But i do agree that in some cases, more like genres, there should only be one pov; contemporary, historical, romance etc. They rarely need 2, never mind five. Sorry i rambled lol! I'm plotting a fantasy trilogy and I've planned to chapter 40 so I'm just over wired and my brain is a little like mush.
I for sure think this is a fantasy thing. More so if you are used to reading non YA fantasy novels. I'm a fan of both at the moment but I grew up on things like A Spell for Chameleon which would have been impossible without multiple POV. I believe though this writer is giving advice based on the kind of stories she writes and it's nice to hear :) I think she means not to add POV just for the sake of it. If it adds something or is necessary then you are certainly correct.
Totally agree - it is a stylistic choice that can be used really effectively, and done well you should want to return to the character POV you just read as each chapter ends
I love the way you break things down. the fact that you give examples of the key points is a huge help. I am currently vlogging my first book process and it's helpful to know that I'm on the right track based on your video - I will watch this video over and over. thank you.
god i think stephen king needs to take the first two points to heart, i hate so many of his books because he has to over describe everything to death. he could turn a simple uneventful trip to the kitchen to make a sandwhich into a whole chapter.
Thanks for making such a refreshing list! I've listened to a dozen that just seem to cover the same lines (don't go overboard on the adverbs!) so listening to something a little different was actually pretty helpful. I'll definitely take this into consideration
How I wish I have someone like you that I could consult from time to time. But all your videos will definitely make a lot of change in my first book. Thanks.
the funny thing is that in my literature class, my teacher encourages us to avoid using dialogue tags like 'said' and use those 'over the top' ones like you mentioned (hollered, exclaimed, blurted out etc.). This was beyond helpful for a budding writer like myself, thank you so much!
When I’m writing, I don’t put everything about the characters in the first chapter, I just write the basic like their name where they go to school/job. I write the background information when needed, when the character is in a situation that needs background information to understand what is going in with them, if you write like literally everything about them in the introduction, you are just spoiling the plot and people won’t continue reading since they already know enough to guess what is going to happen.
Here is a reason a lot of newer writers use "whispered", "grunted", or "articulate" etc.
English teachers tell you to not use "said" as it is used too "often" and the authors/writers just think 'I should use said less often because it's bad.'
Exactly! My high school teachers did it, too. Many teachers inadvertently ingrain bad habits in young writers :D
yup, Stephen king is right on this one - "said" runs right through your mind and is immediately understood, anything else causes the reader to have to stop and "understand" the word. Also, the reader should be able to "hear" how the character is saying something through context and history, you shouldnt have to specifically *tell* them.
Indeed! Using another word should be reserved for added emphasis either due to importance or because the character's tone is that marked (which is usually important in that moment). The rest of the time, a reader will develop a voice for a well-written character that carries most dialogue.
Though that makes me wonder what Alexa Donne's thoughts on italics in dialogue are.
I write in first person, from my characters perspective. For example. Character dialog: I can't believe he did that to me. I turn to him and say, 'hey man, that was complete bullshit.' -- END. I constantly use, "I say. He says, she says." What else is there to use?
Omg yes I've heard this so many times throughout school but the best books I've read use said a lot and it doesnt bother me.
"Killing people in the books is fun."
Well, I guess George R.R. Martin is having *too* much fun
Martin isn't even killing that many people. It's Benioff and Weiss that are the real monsters.
I hit mine with a bus in the first chapter
And James Dashner
Kathryn Everett, is it bad that my response to reading that was “good for you”?
@@morganmccann7743 not at all. :)
it was drilled into me as a kid that using said was bad, its nice to know that I dont have to avoid it like the plague
Definition1 dude I know!! It too me until recently to understand that and it has greatly improved the way my writing sounds.
Same but I would still do it but add a lot of words onto the end "She spoke softly" "He said harshly"
@@qold5900 This is exactly Stephen King's advice, ditto R.R. Martin and others!
Plus "it was all a dream", man they hated that one
Please dont avoid it. Any book you read you'll see 'said' in it. Try using 'said she/he'
1. Info dumping: too much info, or back-story, esp. in the beginning. Better to spread the info out throughout the book via character interaction or action.
2. Describing everything: books are not a play-by-play of real-life. It's boring, it slows down the plot.
3. Not enough conflict: Story should be driven by conflict-resolution-conflict-resoltuion. Conflict is a continuing racketing of tension as the story continues.
4. Nothing Bad Happens to Main Character, or is Perfect, has no Flaws: This will put an artificial limit on how much conflict and/or bad events that drive the story forward.
5. Really Messy Dialog Tags: every dialog has a 'he said', or '[name] spoke'. Just use 'said'. Nothing more is needed. It's not detracting. Use any additional description very sparingly, when absolutely needed. Get your punctuation right, it's a simply thing to get down.
6. Too Many Points of View: Stories don't need extra POV; this drains the tension. It's also very difficult to execute well. Keep it simple, single POV from the main character.
7: White Room Syndrome: Variant on 'show don't tell'; aka when characters are in a scene but no description or detail has been provided. Story ends up feeling generic.
Thanks!
Thank you!!!!
Thanks so much!💯
So original. Thanks for summing it up. I hope you don't plagerize in teal life
You’re the real MVP
"We like our characters! We don't want anything bad to happen to them!"
Ha ha.
ha
In the book I'm writing, the character looks for her biological mother the entire book only to find that she was hours too late from her mother's DEATH.
Jeanne de Souza Etchells I’d love to read that 😁
Jeanne de Souza Etchells could I read it?
@@jirahjashmiermacalino7556 and @Sanne it's not ready for the world to see just yet but I have high hopes for it. (I've already written the first very bad book you see.)
My characters have too many flaws honestly, their made up lives are so brutal.
This was great, I have been researching "how to sell ebooks on your own website" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you ever come across - Zansabella Zondalyn Scheme - (just google it ) ? Ive heard some super things about it and my partner got excellent success with it.
Lol
+Najib Casa
Wow your comment basically comes up in google because if I google that I get a bunch of results that read just like your comment
Lol. Yea I'm mean to my characters sometimes😂
Honestly same. My MC is not only a cigarette smoker but a weed connosoir because he saw his mom get beheaded by a truck. Not to mention, almost everyone he knows is an addict aaaand he gets to see 10 people die. And witness a triple homicide.
In elementary school they taught us "said is dead" and I believed it. I began watching TH-cam videos and reading blogs to help improve my writing. That's when I learned that you, as Alexa says, should use "said" 95% of the time.
omg! same, it took me soooo long to realize this
Most of the all time great authors use only said about 95% of the time. Every ten years or so, somebody comes out of the woodworks to say that said is dead.
Don’t know why, but that’s what happens.
In general with writing fiction, let the reader do 2+2. Do not give them 4.
Using only said most of the time is an example of giving them 2+2.
That is a great explanation. Trust the reader!
@@OddlyElly Yes, trust the reader. But I really learned this lesson actually from screenwriting. One of the first screenplays I wrote had an abundance of acting direction. And one of the first notes I got on it was to trust the actors and let them act.
If you dictate how they say something, you may not get the best delivery of the line.
School teaches you this because in essay work, said is dead. If you’re writing a narrative as an essay, you may not want to use said all the time, as it doesn’t express your vocabulary and understanding. Writing a novel though- USE SAID. I love wattpad but I can never get into a story if every dialogue ends in ‘he exclaimed. She murmured.’ Of course there’s appropriate times but use it sparingly
Just started watching these. I've just started writing my book today and, even though I think all that you mention are things that I already subconsciously knew, this video is great help. Wish me luck :)
Go off ^^ keep going, I'm writing too and it's really not simple
Writing update?
How is your story going?
I'm VERY late, but I wish you the best of luck man!! Hopefully you don't even need it anymore :)
May I ask, how are you doing since?
Oh, just noticed that people already asked the same thing.
Well, all of us are curious I guess :)
Her: "What's the worst thing that could happen to my character?"
Me: "He gets hit by a truck and dies."
Her: "Do that thing!"
Me: "But then I don't have a protagonist, or a plot, or a hero, or... or a book..."
Haha, I see what you mean :P In most cases, though, what I mean is... what's the worst thing someone could say in this moment--what would really upset my MC, or spur them into action? If my character really wants X, I should do Y to prevent them from having that thing. And so on :)
Oh, right. Makes sense. Thanks.
Ever heard about truck-kun and isekai stories?
Nope.
Christopher Dibbs
Isekai was in 2017 a very popular genre in Japanese novels and mangas.
Isekai literary means another world.
The most common way to kill ppl is by truck-kun (kun refers to a male in japanese) and they get reincarnated in another world.
Other ways are summons, vase-chan (chan refers to a lower ranked female or a close friend) or just a mistake from kami-sama (kami=god sama = someone with a higher rank)
I read a fanfic (so it kinda gets a pass but still) that used “uttered” a little too much. Like I’m sorry, but usually I don’t read books that have dialogue like this:
“Where is it?” Sue uttered.
“Over there, behind the shelf,” Bob replied.
“I saw it on the kitchen table earlier,” Jimmy mumbled. He smirked, knowing he hid it earlier.
I usually hear “uttered” like:
As blood flowed from her chest, right where her heart was, she uttered her final words and took her last breath.
“It was under the doormat.”
But I’m a newbie to writing. So...yep. Let me know if I’m totally wrong and using uttered like a normal dialogue tag is okay. (You know when you DO use dialog tags)
Edit: another one I read (on wattpad or tumblr or something)
And I (not really) quote:
“You’re so sweet!” I *verbalized* as I sat down.
“Something something,” He *opined* as he ate.
*hazed*
*issued*
*announced*
Like, ZERO “said” in there.
What about “mumbled”?
@@elenam5214 they already mentioned mumbled kinda
It sucks because said and utter are kinda different. At least I think so
You should use the word "said" as the main word to avoid complications from the readers,but not too much to prevent the dialogue tag sounding too faulty.Only use understandable special words to emphasize the tone in which they speak.Too many Special words each and after every dialogue will make the reader confused,slowing the experience down.If I was a reader,I would ask myself "What does Verbalised and Opined even mean?".Special Words should always be supported by context clues so that readers can understand it a bit without the confusion.Here is an example i thought off:
They walked around the unfamiliarity of the place.Where are they? Why was it so dark?? He looked visibly scared,holding his flashlight tightly as he shun a dark room with it.
"Why is this place so terrifying?",He whimpered,keeping his pace.
"I don't know,but I don't like it.It feels too...quiet.We have to find our friend and get out of here,who knows what may happen in this place.." "I...I guess,but I wished we brought some useful things to make things easier,L-Like a knife,or food..." "Sheesh,Even in this dark place,you still want to eat? Quite a hungry guy.",She joked while giggling.He almost dropped his flashlight as he saw something small and fast crawling Infront of him."I-I Saw something!",He said,Terrified."It was just a rat,relax! You're not in any trouble,you know!",She said,Putting her hand on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him...
-----------
You should also note that you shouldn't use too many dialogue tags or else it'd be annoying,like what I did in the example.You could use them if you feel like readers are starting to lose track of the speaker behind the dialogue (If there are multiple characters who are talking).
You would also put dialogue tags if there's an additional action after it,like "He proudly exaggerated while he put one of the boxes where he thinks it belongs." or "I said,Trying hard to not lose sight of the guiding path".
This is my personal opinion and a thought,so please listen to other writers' advices before you determine whether mine is good or bad.Her video should be able to help you figure out some more mistakes in writing to avoid.
*v e r b a l i z e d*
...why
so guilty of white room syndrome. I get so caught up in the dialogue and character interactions and I forget to actually explain/describe where they are in the scene. interestingly enough, I started to attempt writing screen plays since they are mostly based on dialogue with brief set descriptions in the header. but that was even MORE difficult. it's really a double edged sword.
"Bc we like our character, we don't want to do bad things to them"
Me: *is writing a book about a traumatizing experience to my character and how she gets crazy over time after killing her own best friend accidentally*
Me: oh well, so true
I don't have creativity ooh, nice. I make mine forced to kill her little brother
@@angelinaelchammas2506 Nooooo, that's way too cruel! Children are off limits
Hes 12 and shes 16 and at the time she doesn't remember that there siblings cos her bf was forced to make her forget (he has powers) but she remembers later
I also kill an OTP in the huge war at the end and her gf just about looses the will to live
And the dead girls sister gets depression and ptsd. Shes also 12/13
"what's the worst thing that could happen to your character? Do that thing"
greg walked into the street and was hit by a bus, story over
XDDDD ME!!!
LOL!
rip greg xD
Let's take a moment of silence for Greg...
dammit can we get a rip in the chat for greg guys 😤😓
"He edjaculated…don't use that". Hahaha, well that depends on what type of story you want ;)
(Though it does make for an interesting conversational tag…context people!)
I spat my drink, DAMN IT!
I mean if you're writing smut
*stares at JK Rowling remembering that one time Ron “ejaculated” in a dialogue tag*
@@violetlavi2207 😂😂
@@violetlavi2207 and Snape ejaculated too
I’ve been working on a book series for almost three years now, I started writing it on my iPod but then moved on to a new computer after a year. I completely re-wrote everything and worked on characters and conflicts. It’s a sci fi series about aliens and stuff
I really put a lot of effort into it and I’m sure everybody here has too. It’s so great to see others like me writing stories🙂
But I have to say...killing off characters is fun
Well, the killing off characters thing is kind of common in my books. Like a lot. No one is safe.
Same
"no one is safe"
"My gameplay"
I do single character POV per scene. It is actually sorta like first person POV disguised as third-person POV. Each scene is written with one character's POV no exceptions. I do switch POV from character to character but never do I have multiple POV in any one scene. If I wanna switch POV to another character I go four spaces down and start a new scene. Totally agree with your advice on dialogue tags; 95% of time it is he said or she said, very few adverbs added. Some good advice I would add is never contract words in narration. It's good to do it in dialogue but in narration I always write could not instead of couldn't or did not instead of didn't. It drives me bananas to see writers writing the narrative so similar to dialogue. You want definition between narration, description, and dialogue, which are the three pillars of fiction.
Ugh! Info-dumping...first draft I feel it is inevitable and it'll be there, but I think once you recognize it then it's easier to cut out.
When I first started writing my main character was always beautiful/hunky and handsome and had no flaws, but now I've grown out of that and it all came with practice. And you are so right when I first start writing I never wanted anything too terrible to happen to them and now I'm like abusing them lol! Oh and I strongly dislike when a book has multiple POV, like two or three fine, but more than that ugh I have a lot of opinions and feelings on that as well, so I look for to a video on that.
He ejaculated! HAHAHAHA! :):):)
Great video, Alexa!
Thank you! And YES I think these are things we naturally grow out of, and then it's SO FUN to torture characters haha. :D
It's really refreshing to see this first draft info-dumping thing is way more common then I thought. Sometimes I find it easier to just intentionally start off with over the top info dumping and world building almost as a... pre-first draft? Like zero effort into even making it an entertaining story. That way I can use it as a kinda reference to build a first draft from.
Also I can relate to the perfect main character thing. I KNOW they need flaws but I often have a hard time making them not flawed enough... like Oh here's this space marine that has been genetically created by the army to be the perfect soldier... oh and lol he lost his arm but its ok because now he has a cyborg arm that's even stronger and even has a built in coffee machine.
I used to have a problem with this but I worked through it by the time I was 17
This is great, all through English class when learning to write all my teacher preached was DONT USE SAID ANYTHING BUT SAID.
Apparently it was for people who don't know how to use a dictionary.
Said is a good word.
8:06 YES. I am SO guilty of skipping through uninteresting character pov's when I read. Watching the video, I am pretty glad that I've conquered most of these things in my writing! Still, I have a long way to go. I am procrastinating writing right now.
Side note: I love that you support fanfic, Alexa Donne. It's what made me want to write, read, and discover. After watching a few of your videos and thinking about it, I think I have conquered most of these issues by binge-reading fanfic. It's a great never-ending cycle: I read one, search for better ones, search through fic recs, and then when I can't find the writing I'm looking for, I write it myself.
@Riley Harper Correction: I used to do it. Now, I think I'm better at it. Although I usually avoid reading poorly done pov's because that is generally what happens. I get frustrated or bored.
In my fantasy world, a lot of bad things happen to my characters! One of them gets really bad heat stroke and passes out for a long time, one gets their leg smashed by a rock, my main character gets bit by a poisonous spider and almost dies, one gets her foot slashed by a sharp tree branch, etc. I’m not afraid to give them injuries or conflict. It’s fun to put that in since it makes the story exciting
I’m not gonna kill them off YET
Yet
This is great, sometimes I'm scared to twist my characters, but I read this tip somehere that you should sometimes be careful with all the damage, because too many tragedies with no consequences to the story makes readers less scared for the characters.
Fun fact, in German, the quotation mark comes first and then the comma, followed by the dialog tag. :)
I feel like the Info dumping thing is a first book first draft must, especially if you don't yet know your book and the world yet. The real problem is when it stays there in the second draft and beyond.
"Murder is fun! MuRdEr!!" Hahahahaha yes
Also dying at the dialogue tag example and grammar lesson
I'm hella guilty of most of these at one point in my writing or another.
Alex Tamburro agreed
It depends on how much planning you do before you start. If you have everything planned out there's no reason to info dump. Honestly, even in a 1st draft there is no excuse. Just write your info dump, and then cut it and put it in a notes or world building file and that's that. If you know you're writing something you're going to take out later then why leave it?
Alex Tamburro I use multiple spreadsheets and outlines to figure out my fantasy world so that it is written out and planned. But I try not to bring it up on the story unless it adds to it. For instance my world has different month names and names of days and holidays, but it never came up in the story. Only once did I mention the name of a month. But it was good to have it in my head so I knew what it was and it flowed naturally. Wasn’t forced into a “info dump.” Just my two cents.
Alex Tamburro I absolutely agree. Info dumping in the first draft actually helps me so much. It’s so helpful to get everything down on paper. It might not be pleasant to read, but you can fix it all in the second drafts
I agree harvey - it's so much easier to add than detract, and although we know a draft is just that, you shouldn't put anything in your draft you absolutely know wouldn't be in your final. Like, stuff where you're not sure, or stuff you'll definitely need to clean up, sure, but stuff where you say, "I'm going to write this then definitely cut this" why write it (there) at all? I think it's much better to keep a background page or file - if the stuff isn't going to be in the end story anyway, it allows you to reference your world without slogging through the story, and doesn't allow you to forget to cut things out.
Still telling myself this stuff after being traditionally published for adults and children - forever. Each novel throws up new challenges. Thanks for the reminders! Appreciate it xx
I'm not a creative writer and I'm not planning on becoming one but I found this really interesting.
I guess the problem with new writers using a lot of specific and active dialogue tags is because most of us are trained to use them in school papers. I was always searching through thesaurus when writing school papers because I thought using the same word twice was a sin worthy of F lol
As a reader I can testify that I don't really register when the writer uses "said" and whenever I pay extra attention i'm surprised how much it is used in my favorite books.
Love these tips. The multiple POV issue drives me nuts even with big name authors. I have skipped whole chapters in some books because I really could not bring myself to care about that person (sometimes I have to go back and drum up some give-a-damn because I missed some key information in that chapter). Its just frustrating and I love that you acknowledged it.
Rick Riordan does multiple POVs though, and I kinda envy him for balancing so many characters XD
Your older videos are just as good as your newer ones. ❤❤❤ Thank you for being you. I love listening to you, but especially when I'm in a mental health slump and trying to get out and motivated to write. ❤
I’ve been writing ever since i was 9, I’m 29 right now, and i still suck at writing, i sometimes don’t even place a POV in my drafted fanfics.
"SANS, WAKE UP LAZYBONES" Papyrus said in annoyance. Sans was still asleep peacefully on the living room couch for the past 7 hours even he knew that he had to go to sentry duty. as much as Papyrus loved his brother, he sometimes wished that he would be more active when it came to sentry duty.
I also use a story circle called "The Heroes Journey" by John Campbell whenever i make sci-fi, adventure, fantasy, and/or romance fanfics
As a new writer, your channel is a breath of fresh air! I am someone who has always naturally gravitated towards writing, but I was afraid to dive in deep, do some research and actually practice writing because... well, I was afraid to discover I suck 😂. The way you talk about it is comprehensible, light-hearted and honest, making me a bit less scared to just go ahead and suck sometimes 😉
When you're a tragedy fan who's planning to start a book😈
BlaireBear25 Damn it 😂
Your icon explains it all lmao
SAAAMEEE
Same
Yep not me making myself cry 😚
Alexa: so you have a male and a female character
me: *looking at all the Drarry fanfics I wrote*
I have so many story ideas, and NONE OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS ARE STRAIGHT.
well..all of my characters are lesbian & bi
When I'm reading a book and the word "ejaculated" comes up as a dialogue tag it takes me out of the story for a moment, it's such a weird word to use for a dialogue tag. Literally, I've seen that word used in a published piece of work.
White room syndrome is something I struggle with too, I tend to focus so much on the characters that I forget to write about the environment.
Have the characters interact with the environment, Like when they look away they see the paintings on the wall, or when their angry they throw books off the bookshelf. Not too much tho
What a powerful video. I feel like we all have our pet peeves and mistakes we commit, in my case I am specifically very prone to the white-room syndrome you mention.
I adore dialogues but I am not including enough descriptions to make the reader imagine the scenery and it feels like the characters are talking floating in a white room xD
I also overwrite: some scenes I create have no tension/conflict, people just talk and nothing happens xD They could comfortably be cut!
Another thing I do and am not sure how it is called is when I force the characters into my plot-outline even if they might not do or say some things do to their personalities. Perhaps this is something that Architect writers do.
I will say that sometimes adding an extra POV or two can save a series. I'm talking about the Red Queen. I'm obviously also talking about my own personal experience reading it. It wasn't until Evangeline that I was like okay I don't mind this anymore.
A novel writer is not my dream. I do want to look at other writing opportunities and for that reason I am checking out your channel. So many great nuggets.
8:00
Oo I felt that one.
Having read the Star Wars book "A New Dawn" recently, I can say it suffered the same problem for me. Maybe because I'm biased towards one of the main characters already, but the chapters in the villain and supporting character's point of view was just... boring. LIKE WE GET IT, YOURE A CLUTZ AND KANAN HATES YOU.
It got better about it near the end, though and I still liked the book, (I think it had a great message, "Hey, maybe Im not going to be alright, but when has it not worked out for us? I'll just have to go along with it.", basically) I just wish it actually focused on the main character more.
The title made me skeptical. Usually such videos oversimplify and don't provide too much good advice.
It was a very good surprise, great post. Thanks a lot!
Love this. White room syndrome. Oh Lord. Yes.
My huge thing is just not having conflict, thank you for this.
Really useful and nesessary (nope) remark from a foreigner. I liked how you explained the punctuation in dialogue, because in my native language it is completely different. If we use quotation mark, we should put a comma after it, It is so annoying when people confuse them. Pleasing to know that in English it is also this irritating,)))
I know this is an older video, but your bit about punctuation in dialogue tags is a thing I get just so much. Just, punctuation really gets me, lol.
Also, you make a very good point about the multiple POV. I had an idea concerning the concept earlier tonight. Then I remembered when I read Eldest (the second book in the Eragon series), and how I really identified with only one of the couple different POVs, which made the other ones boring to me. When I read the book in 7th grade, I skipped the chapters with POVs I found boring and came back to them at the end, which was really dumb, I think.
Also, yay for being trained in journalism! I was an editor for my college newspaper's opinions section for three years. I also dabbled in news writing.
I know I've got something bad happening to my characters when I want to cry. I don't cry often.
I still have white room syndrome. I understand the rough draft being like that, but, usually in editing some places can stay like that... Okay most. Don't judge me.
I'm a new writer, but for white room syndrome, I always let the reader know what room or place we're in and if this is the first time in that place I give just one paragraph explaining how it looks, feels, and smells. No longer than a paragraph and then I begin writing in that place. As the scene progresses in that place I will sometimes have the character interact with little details (nearly stumbled over a big log or saw a painting she made when she was little, scoffed, and covered it up) these add more details to the scenery and can also add more to the characters development or personality. It helps to flesh out a scene without getting too much into telling while still working on the plot, scene, and characters along the way in a showing kind of way.
Alexa, how do you now when you chapter is complete? How do you know if your characters are over dramatic? If the dialogue is interesting? If the characters are three dimensional? I am having trouble expressing emotions when’s i write facial and body language.
I'm slowly getting better at all of these the more I write, even if it's just a tiny snippet of something or an idea. But since English is my second language I think it's a lot harder to get everything right, bc I love pretty words and I want to include them EVERYWHERE
I killed one of my main characters in the first 30 pages whoops
@Blood in the Water well, Magnus Chase is a trilogy where basically all characters are either dead or immortal..
@@emvuosku4219 yes, but dying is part of their characters. They technically have to die in order to be a part of the series.
@@robinlawnmower42 exactly, that's why writing advice should never be taken as rock-hard rules. Pretty much everything works when the writer knows what they're doing.
I killed one of my main characters after like fifteen pages. Poor, poor River. So misunderstood.
.......I am so happy I’m not one of your guys characters....
I gotta say I really enjoy your content, Im not planning on writing any books but I have a shit-ton of OCs and your advice gives me a hell of a lot of help in writing characters and stories! Keep up the good work!
I read a book once with 5 different points of views and I just had to scrap reading it despite liking the plot because it was just impossible to follow 🙄
“Walk before you run!” Yup, you just sold me on POV narrative’s! You’re so right! All the other videos that discuss this doesn’t quite hit the nail on the head like you do. Thanks! 😘💕👍🏻
If I had never heard or read a single piece of writing advice, by now I'd probably have been a published author.
I seriously love your videos. I’ve learned so much and you’ve helped give me the confidence to finally begin writing after years of putting it off. Thank you for taking the time to do these. 🙏🏼
My Characters are never flawless (I figured that out 1 year ago), I come up with good plots, I describe my surroundings and everything is ready. in fact my chapter 1 always turns out strong.... But, that's it. from the second chapter, I go blank. T.T I cant come up with anything after the first chapter, even after doing all the prior homework.
Please give me some tips to get out of that chapter 1
Write from the character's perspective. What excites them?
Maybe just ignore chapters and write in scenes instead? So you're not bogged down by what should go where, and how to format, instead you're just focused on the story
Keep writing, even if it's rubbish, instead of trying to make your first chapter perfect before you move on. You can fix mistakes in the second draft, but first you have to actually write it!
One thing I love to do is think about my plot and a possible scene. I don’t care where in the story it falls, but write it. I work backwards sometimes. Write ending alternatives, climax alternatives. Save them in a separate doc to refer to later on. I feel this helps you see direction a lot and motivate you forward.
I suggest to give up. It's easier that way. And yes, I'm joking. Never give up on a book!
I'm currently writing a novel with two POVs. I totally get the point, that it might be unnecessary in most cases but I'm gonna stick to my two POVs since it adds a lot more depth to the storyline
same, bc mine dealt with a stalker and stalk-ee lol
the pov thing really drives me nuts lately... especially when ppl write smth thats mainly a romance. unless you do something really creative with the povs, we dont need more than one pov in a romance lol
You are wonderful! Thank you for this. Some of these things I never would have thought of until I waded hip deep into them. A couple of these I now see I am guilty of and can start working to curb the tendency. I have liked & subscribed & will also share.
one of my fave book series had multiple povs,
There were two characters that I just hated but there were five others that I loved and it wasnt that big of a deal untill the final book when it was mainly just the two characters I hated and my favourite characters pov wasnt even in the book even though he was one of the most important characters. I glossed over it ans dont remeber how it ended but the ones with the least amount of the two characters are fan favourites.
hi there, can you tell me the name of the series?
Is this tower of dawn? Yeah I know, tod isnt the last book but....😂
LNO PGDN III its not what I was talking about but yeah, I didnt like chaol much originally. I was looking forward to seeing Yrene towers though,
Other Helen Let me guess: you're referring to the Heroes of Olympus series, you hate Jason and Piper, and you really wanted to have a Percy POV but Blood of Olympus didn't have one
when I was a kid in school they always told me I should use "said" as sparingly as possible, but when I'm actually writing it's just the most natural word to use. I get kinda caught up on it thinking I'm repeating the word too much so it's nice to hear that it's not necessarily a bad thing
4:58 I'm thinking the same exact way! Hmmm How to make her suffer? What's the most awful thing that could happen.... All day and night I'm thinking about continuing the story in my book. I can't live without writing. That's me❤️🙄
Glad to know your writer self is doing well!
Thank you, very helpful and direct!
I am writing from the love interest(boy's) POV while I wanna keep the main character's POV(girl's) as a special element as it'd turn the table around. So is it okay or should I write it from the boy's POV only?
I think you should do both POVs. I mean, 2 aren't that many and if it adds to the story, you should.
Not sure if you'll ever read this, but I thought I'd give it a try. What are your thoughts on funneling POVs, setting up a duo POV for separate characters (more then that would in my opinion make it confusing for the reader to keep up with your story) that will meet quite early in the story, they might meet each other towards the end of first chapter. At that point you change to the main POV as both characters are in the same scene. Might have dumbed it down too much, but wanted to make sure you understood what i'm refereeing too. Loved the video, might have caught myself on a few of those over the years hehe.
The more I watch your videos, the more I realize that my first story actually doesn't suck as much as I thought it would 😂 but I'm still new to writing stories (´∩。 ᵕ 。∩`) thanks for your guidance
These are great! My list would look really similar. I see these things all the time.
I need to go back and look at my dialogue tags. Thanks for the informative videos. Could you do a video about standard manuscript format for fiction books? I've read many different versions of this and I'm not sure which to do. Can you just keep using a Word document or need a program like Scrivener? Chapter headings two thirds down the page, spacing, margins, and boring fonts?
Sure, I can do something on that! I can show everyone how I format... I do use Scrivener to export to a Word Doc, and so it does a lot of stuff for me. I don't know if my way is the way but my agent/editor haven't disowned me yet :) Great idea!
The play by play is so me and I kind of hate it, but also kind of love it. Conflicting emotions if I've ever seen them.
FINALLY ANOTHER WRITER WHO LIKES KILLING CHARACTERS AS MUCH AS ME!!!
The Last Dragon I am very new to this but I have an idea and already I know that it is probably going to be a bloodbath at the end
My friends has a problem with my stories cause I like to kill off my characters or the story would end up tragic.
I literally love killing characters. I can’t get through an angst fic without getting the urge to make one of them die.
I've just found your channel thanks. The first one I watched was the "nobody cares" one, and I was hooked. I'm hoping you've nipped a few of my bad habits in the bud. Love your honest and entertaining delivery
Hey, there's one thing I don't get about dialogue punctuation. So if a character asks a question, is the "he" or "she" capitalized? Like, is it: "Who are you?" she asked -- or is it: "Who are you?" She asked.
The quotation mark replaces the comma, so it becomes a lower s. 'Who are you?' she asked. In replacing the comma it shows that it's part of the same sentence.
Thanks for that.
Thanks.i didn’t even know this.damn
6:20 I just want to add a disclaimer here. I know that in American English it's considered correct form to put the comma inside the quotation marks. But for British English, the comma comes after the quotation marks.
It makes sense if you think about it. The dialogue tag after the quotation marks is part of the sentence, and the spoken part is a complete sentence. If the dialogue tag weren't there, the sentence within the quotation marks would end with a full stop (period).
So if you're watching this from the UK, remember it's correct form for you to put the comma after the quotation marks, for example:
"This is a sentence", she said.
I 've been trying to write a book for 2 years and I'm still working on my characters 😂😂😂😂 HELP ME😐
I've been trying to write mine for 10 :) and am slowly dying inside.....
I'll help if you still need it.
@@walexander000 me too...
Have a good sketch of your characters, but don't get too obsessed with mapping them out in advance. Allow their voice and personality to emerge organically - in other words, just write. As you do, you'll get a better, more natural feel for who they are as people.
Well if you're passionate about it you can finish a book within a year like how I did. Though I was planning it out in my head before I started it. I mainly focused on one character. I usually make side ones up as the story moved forward. It works.
Yep, most stories need a LOT more conflict. Great video.
excellent video very helpful
I watched ONE of your videos and instantly subscribed. Now I'm committed to watching all of them. I love "no nonsense" criticism!
So what you're saying is that some writers are sadists.
And I'm one of them.
Great list :) I'm halfway through my own first novel and information like this in one place is so helpful!
"Murder is fun"
- Alexa Donne
Love it, lol
1:25 I know what you mean by play by play- like describing a hotel room a character stays in for one night in EXTREME detail, and describing an area they visit often just a bit. Example:
He walked into the hotel room. It had a green rug with yellow details on the edges, covered in patterns of pale purple flowers. On the rug sat a deep green couch, in front of which was a chocolatey brown table. This gave off a cozy aura, complimented by the cool tan paint on the walls. Tucked into a corner was a bed with green sheets and a yellow pattern, with chocolate wood making up the frame. The pillows on it looked SUPER soft. He couldn't wait to sleep later. He walked into the bathroom, and was met with a classic claw-footed tub, a beautiful sink, and a mirror so clean it was like you could slip through it. An array of brushes lay on the pale white counter.
--------------
And guess what. He never used the brushes, because he pulls one out of the backpack I mentioned... Didn't I? It pained me to write that. There were SO many qualities in that which were missing. I should have described how his shoulders sagged under the weight of his pack, how he shook slightly with exhaustion... Maybe there was sweat dribbling down his forehead, as I've noticed happens when boys work hard. But no- I focus on the ROOM, which, by the way, is a stop in a layover in a town. Which he probably never goes back to. Heck, it might not even get a name, it's so insignificant! You know what would have been better, I shouldn't have to tell you people.
As a second note, that writing moves both to quickly and too slowly. We know to much about the room too fast, and the writing should be sluggish along with the character. Observations should happen as they complete tasks through the room to unpack.
Also, I don't know how to write casual dialogue between normal people.
Just think about how people talk in real life or in movies. In movies, think of a scene where two characters are talking casually. That's my two cents. :)
I really appreciate this tipps and after watching this Video I don't really feel like a Bad Writer anymore since I realized i'm NOT doing most of These Things, except for using more Special words instead of 'said'
And, my english might be really bad and I might seem like I couldn't write a single page without thousands of mistakes but well it's not my first language lol
Watson (yes, sir Arthur conan doyle's sherlock Holmes's watson) wasn't the first time I encountered "he ejaculated" and I burst out laughing. I was in a church at the time (already an atheist but forced to go because I was sti in high school). And he ejaculated very, very often.
Yeah they used it A LOT in old books. I can't help but snort-laugh every time :D
I remember reading that as an adult and dying laughing. Something I didn't catch as a fourth grader.
The what?! Really? Oh, my.
First time i read it was in Tale of Two Cities. I read over it, looked back and just stared a good ten seconds before going into hysterics lmao
I just watched the harsh writing advice video and in this video she suddenly seems so nice and calm
IM 11 YEARS OLD AND I TRYING TO WRITE MY OWN BOOK BUT I DON T KNOWN WHAT TO WRITE.
If you don't have any specific ideas, what about writing some fanfic? It's fun and can help you learn a lot about writing, while you wait for your own ideas to come :)
Also, if you don't One I what to write, or have a writers block, you could go to a random word generator and grab five or six words and string a story out of it. It might bring a really good idea to mind or you can just use it for warm-up.
Or you can also create a hook. A hook is like one sentence that kind of describes your book. A hook can be "a human girl gets recruited into a gang of aliens" or something. Then you ask yourself questions like "why is this good/bad?" "what was the girl like before this?" "what was she doing to find herself in this situation?"
Take some time to think about all these questions. Develop a beginning, middle and end before diving deeper into the plot, outlining fine detail and character traits and before you know it, you have a story!
Take a moment you remember feeling really sad. Think about how you handled it...but then think about someone with a different gender, different family life, different friends may handle it. Then keep building from there. You may just stumble across a character you want to learn more about and see how they resolve the situation you faced and the problems they face.
Love all the ideas here, although as both a reader and author, I'm not as down on creative dialog tags. There's a vast difference between a shy man saying "I love you" and whispering it. 😉 Other than that, totally agree with you. Especially about punctuation!
“Killing people in book is fun.”
*WELL STEVEN KING CAN STOP HAVING FUN AND BRING MY BOI EDDIE BACK-*
Lmfao!
I'm actually in the 6th chapter of my first book. I'm glad I watched this. From the amount of reading I've done in the past, I derived this information and was careful not to do it. There is a fine line between white wall syndrome and over describing things. I like that she did the "Sprinkle" thing with her hand. I call it seasoning the story. A juicy Ribeye may be a great piece of meat, but I'm still not going to eat it unless it's seasoned and cooked to perfection. Sprinkle the seasoning throughout. Not just on one side or the other. Not just one half or the other. Cook it up according to the conflict you want. The heat, action and conflict drives the books. The character, I learned day one, cannot be a Hemingway Hero. This is 2018. We cannot have perfect characters, it's not relate-able. My dialogue though. Really struggling with that. I don't want to use tags unless its a last resort. I want the conversation to flow organically, but not in line where you are reading a wall of text. It's hard to break up someone ranting. Dialogue is the hardest part of writing for me. I would love to take a class specifically on how to write dialogue.
I kind of disagree (somewhat agree) the the multiple points of views; i think that if your story is complex enough where there are multiple large subplots linking in to make a large main plot then multiple points of views are warranted. I also think it depends on genre. I have never read a good fantasy book with ine point of view. Ever. And 70%of my 200 book collection is fantasy.
Books like that where worlds are complex, the plot is complex need more than one view point. How else are you supposed to move the plot along? The issue is that most nee writers don't do it well. Fantasy is a hard genre to write in, especially with multiple povs.
But i do agree that in some cases, more like genres, there should only be one pov; contemporary, historical, romance etc. They rarely need 2, never mind five.
Sorry i rambled lol! I'm plotting a fantasy trilogy and I've planned to chapter 40 so I'm just over wired and my brain is a little like mush.
I for sure think this is a fantasy thing. More so if you are used to reading non YA fantasy novels. I'm a fan of both at the moment but I grew up on things like A Spell for Chameleon which would have been impossible without multiple POV. I believe though this writer is giving advice based on the kind of stories she writes and it's nice to hear :) I think she means not to add POV just for the sake of it. If it adds something or is necessary then you are certainly correct.
Totally agree - it is a stylistic choice that can be used really effectively, and done well you should want to return to the character POV you just read as each chapter ends
I love the way you break things down. the fact that you give examples of the key points is a huge help. I am currently vlogging my first book process and it's helpful to know that I'm on the right track based on your video - I will watch this video over and over. thank you.
I also have a problem with the shit-ton of POVs. Usually it's because I have three main characters who are facing different dilemmas in life.
I don't know what kind of magical entity came into my mind but I have figured out how to make my story more dynamic and good while watching this
god i think stephen king needs to take the first two points to heart, i hate so many of his books because he has to over describe everything to death. he could turn a simple uneventful trip to the kitchen to make a sandwhich into a whole chapter.
And how many books has he sold?
@@morbid333 I don't care how many books he's sold. A lot of his writing is boring and just a chore to read through.
I’ve Been Writing Since I Was 7 Or 8 And Now I’m 11. When I Was 7 Or 8, I Made A lot Of Mistakes But Now I Make Way Less Mistakes.
Book: "He eJACULATED!"
Me: "Uhh ok"
Harry Potter... oh boy
YOU ARE SO HELPFUL! Your videos are literally a godsend for me!
Teachers are always like "NEVER USE SAID ITS SATANS WORD!" like i swear to god
Thanks for making such a refreshing list! I've listened to a dozen that just seem to cover the same lines (don't go overboard on the adverbs!) so listening to something a little different was actually pretty helpful. I'll definitely take this into consideration
How I wish I have someone like you that I could consult from time to time. But all your videos will definitely make a lot of change in my first book. Thanks.
the funny thing is that in my literature class, my teacher encourages us to avoid using dialogue tags like 'said' and use those 'over the top' ones like you mentioned (hollered, exclaimed, blurted out etc.). This was beyond helpful for a budding writer like myself, thank you so much!
This was cool. It actually made me feel more confident about my plans.
When I’m writing, I don’t put everything about the characters in the first chapter, I just write the basic like their name where they go to school/job. I write the background information when needed, when the character is in a situation that needs background information to understand what is going in with them, if you write like literally everything about them in the introduction, you are just spoiling the plot and people won’t continue reading since they already know enough to guess what is going to happen.