Parents Of Kids That Didn't Succeed, What Happened? (r/AskReddit)

[@mathewnunya2434]

I am that kid.
Parents spent little to no time with me.
My brother did everything in his power to make my life miserable from never letting me hang out with him or his friends, scaring me in the middle of the night, every night for months just for laughs and only ever dealing with me when he wanted something and breaking my favorite things when I wouldnt give in to his demands.
I was raised by tv, movies and games.
Never had a sleep over.
Never went to one.
Stopped having birthday parties when I was 13.
Always told to never interrupt people but whenever I talked they would interrupt me so I learned to stay quiet and then wondered why.
Could never do sports bc we were so broke.
Always had money for cigarettes, booze and fast food.
Now Im a truck driver.
I spend 3 months alone on the road at a time and when Im off I just sleep and wait to get back to work.
When my mother passed from lung cancer I didnt shed a single tear at her funeral.
Same for my father.
Now my brother is a wandering hobo who I do everything to avoid any kind of contact with.

[@alenparker3056]

Even though we are complete strangers, I have an urge to sit down and drink some beer and smoke a fat one with ya, family isn't who you choose to exist with, and remember that anything that came out of these remnants of "people"'s mouths are echoes of their own suffering. You might have had a tough past, but that's all it will ever be, look forward and never let yourself go, squeeze life by it's balls man, don't let any problem of yours unsolved, sleep easy at night, because at the end, you who may have thought that it's all hell in the past, are the only one left to BE in a better place, and the best part, you are still alive, having it better than those who did you wrong. It doesn't matter what you do, as long as you have a home and a person who you can cry with. Don't consume too much mind altering substances, as that could fuck with your memories, I don't drink nor gamble buddy, just smoking that reefer and trying not to touch a dime that I save.

[@snsnsjsj9763]

Alen Parker i would love to join in on this

[@rarecandy3445]

crazy. reading this comment and comparing our lives. we grew up similar. spent time online and videogames. mom was in school or working insane over time, then highschool hit and we were in the midst of her divorce. tried to take care of my sister too. couldnt do lacrosse cause the equipment was pricey. the moment i turned 18 and acted out even harder. i spent my 20’s on and off the road with bands and musicians.
im 30 now and just got my CDL, so i too am trucking. just sitting back and watching my family members die and being a background character at their funerals.
hopefully you find a passion besides just waiting to get back to work.

[@darst16]

I can highly relate to the part about your brother. Mine was a genuine psychopath that tormented me when I was a kid. Though, i refuse to allow my terrible upbringing to dictate where I will go in life. They wont get that satisfaction from me, I will succeed no matter what.

[@bonjourtristesse9433]

Dave Good for you!!! 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿

[@rachaelk3324]

I want to say that some of these are like me, but this has really given me some insight into others lives. I think I appreciate a bit more the positives of the situation I am in. Thanks Reddit.

[@Novadestin]

As the child of my family who didn't "succeed", the reason is simple: ADD, anxiety, depression, sleep disorders... kind of hard to "succeed" when even a "basic job" gives you panic attacks.

[@mysteryguy793]

is it the job that gives you panic attacks or the environment of said job?

[@andreeadobre3190]

Billy But Whole When a personality trait is so serious that it stops you from having a fully functional life, then it's an issue that needs treatment.

[@salemcrow5078]

@Billy But Whole Anxiety and ADHD are a *lot* more than personality traits, I assure you.

[@MrLazerCatt]

I was an ADD kid too, they prescribed me with Ritalin and Adderal as a kid and when high school came around I just traded it for pot (which worked a hell of a lot better imo). Is this why I have crazy anxiety and suck at every job I've ever had? Should I go back to adderal?

[@anthonygarcia1846]

Honestly i have to disagree with you, I was diagnosed with add at an early age i had to take Ritalin all through middle school and high, and the truth is all the bad choices i made was because i wanted to do it, i wanted to ditch school and go smoke weed do shrooms get drunk,steal and hang out with my friends,not because i have add but because i made the wrong choice you have to man up about the choices and path you took in your life, not blame add because there are a lot of successful people out there with it alright. If you cant do a simple job without having panic attacks, or have sleep disorders, or depression you don't have add,you have some sort of other mental illness. Stop making excuses for your actions, and stop giving people with add a bad reputation, never once in my life have i made the excuse of putting my add as to why i didn't succeed, i have a good paying job a car, and im about to get a house, they just never taught you how to work.

[@jamesbudd3096]

These videos hurt me. I dropped out my freshman year and lost all my friends, became a stoner, and lost touch with most of my family. I can only work the most tedious and worst paying jobs and will probably never have enough money to travel, marry, have kids. I always see the extremely disappointed looks of my parents as i guess i could have been something. Nowadays is just an endless cycle of "go to work, make dinner, and stay home by myself isolated in my room wondering what could've been". Overall stay in school kids, I'd do anything to have the memories I never got to have, you all are so blessed and have so much potential. It just sucks that i have to be the example of failure😥

[@ariesbyfire]

James Budd I don’t think you should be so hard on yourself. I’m sure you had your reasons for not applying yourself. But regardless, remember to be grateful that your basic needs are met. And try to help someone else. Your testimony could potentially save someone someday.

[@1337flight]

join the military

[@doctordarkness100]

Look into trades chap.
Electricians don't make panties wet
But they tend to become business owners

[@darst16]

How old are you? You aren't dead yet so don't defeat yourself.

[@bonezone4985]

We gotta be honest with ourselves here. I know single parents and two working parent households try their best, but the results are clear. You need someone to stay home to watch and care for the kids. Some of them turn out ok, but the data shows most troubled kids come from broken homes and neglect. I don’t know the answer, but we have to stop pretending that single parent and absent parent homes don’t seriously hurt a child’s development.

[@mousii3222]

It takes a village. I wish more people had more familiar support. My grandparents, aunts, and even great aunts would watch us when we were kids because my mom and dad both had full time jobs. That kind of thing is becoming more and more rare and parents have to work more and more. :(

[@goodnightmyprince6734]

​@@mousii3222 I agree. this nuclear family is unsustainable and isolating. It only the west there's these problems.

[@theghostsandgray9355]

Time to see my parents flood into the comments.

[@theghostsandgray9355]

I didn’t mean bad stuff. But I’m pretty sure my parents think I won’t succeed

[@edwardgaines6561]

@@theghostsandgray9355 You become what you think. It's up to you, ultimately.

[@theghostsandgray9355]

Edward Gaines ❤️

[@MangoMagica]

I feel like I’m the failure kid. For me I don’t have full time employment and am still dependent on my parents because I have autism and it’s difficult to find and keep employment. It especially hurts because my brother is the successful one with a computer programming job at Colgate, a lovely girlfriend, an apartment and a cat. I want to be proud of him but I can’t help but feel insecure and jealous.

[@xxbublebee123]

Start with small things :) cut out sugar, or soda or something :) do nofap, eat healthy :) bless you bro, or broless youl be successful bless :*

[@ComfortKM]

The key to living a life of intention and purpose is in the frequency and quality of the questions you ask yourself.
Examples:
Monthly questions-
• What should I learn by the end of the month?
• Who needs my help this month?
• What have I accomplished so far?
Weekly questions-
• How much progress have I made?
• Where am I spending my time?
• Where am I spending my money?
• Do I need this or just want it?
Daily Questions-
• Does what I am doing make any progress?
• Should I be doing this?
• What time is it?
• Do I need a break?
• How was this day?
If you do that everyday without fail, it’s likely that you will straighten out a lot issues. This is the praxis of long term thinking. Good luck.

[@darst16]

Don't give up! Focus on what you want out of life and to hell with everything else. Find your own happiness and screw what everyone else is doing. They have never walked a day in your shoes so what they have amounts to not much.

[@1000REMBOY]

Don't worry man, allot of well meaning people are hard on themselves like that, and the fact that you're remorseful about your situation shows your heart's already in the right place. Your autism is in no way your fault, and you can still find happiness and success in your life despite it. In fact, I've read about some amazing feats accomplished by people with autism. I heard about a theory scientists were discussing that suggested that autism actually gives a certain trade - off for having negative affects. I'm sure you'd rather not have it to begin with, but since you can't help that, maybe you can find a passion that would thrive even for people who have autism. Best of luck, man.

[@salijayehinsen2892]

I'm the same way. I'm an autistic adult dependent but at least I work part time

[@drachaksakcha]

I was a child that didn't succeed. Despite growing up with a severely abusive father, I got my master's degree and had a bright future ahead of me, but unfortunately I contracted severe sleep apnea and sustained brain damage due to hypoxia. This drove my OCD and depression into overdrive (mostly related to sex and dating), and I have ended up unable to work due to a combination of medical and mental health issues. My mother is also disabled and chronically ill, so at age 40 I continue to live at home taking care of her. Unfortunately my dad used his physical and psychological abuse to leave us in an unrecoverable debt situation, so we're slowly going under and will have to sell the house soon. All in all a shitty situation.

[@jensai895]

Autochron sorry to hear that man. Hope you hit a breakthrough or something.

[@ransfordflentjar5694]

I really hope you're able to somehow overcome this shitty situation.

[@alenparker3056]

I'm so sorry for how the past has affected you, material can be lost and regained, just make sure your mother has it easy man.. Perhaps I can recommend CBD oil, marijuana extract, I'm not sure if it could help with hypoxia though.

[@drachaksakcha]

@@alenparker3056 The hypoxia is gone because I'm on CPAP, and the brain damage is likely as rewired as it's gonna get, but my thought processes/brain chemistry will never be quite the same. I do have chronic back pain though so CBD might work for that. Will look into it next time I have the money.
Thanks for your kind wishes, everyone. 😀

[@xxbublebee123]

Man bless you bro. Do nofap, clean up your diet. Eliminate soda, junkfood, sugar. Est organic and healthy. And fruits bless bro.

[@gypsytreasures3856]

My daughter started running away at 15 doing drugs, got into goth and lied her whole life. Got pregnant, married a loser, divorced him, got pregnant married another guy who is "disabled " and hasnt worked. Now she has medical issues caused by her reckless life, works online at home. We havent seen eachother in 10 yrs. Everytime ive tried to get close to her, she has ruined my life. I love her, sad she didnt do anything with her life to support herself better. I stay at arms length to stay safe

[@salemcrow5078]

@Sir Lynchalot what the hell is wrong with you? That's a horrible thing to tell someone

[@darst16]

There's two sides to the story in my opinion. What causes a child to start drugs at such an early age? Most likely coming from an abusive situation.

[@yaddledapaddle3877]

If u neglect ur child, u need to be taken to prison ASAP.

[@stormshot119]

Time to finish my homework.

[@constantravens4800]

Atta boy

[@oviiembem6302]

This is why when I have to choose between making better future (focus on my job) or having good social life (good relationships with friends), I straight away cut all of the social aspect of my life and went full head on the job, it is quite hard decision for my younger self but I did it with determination and I did not regret it even now when I barely have anyone left.
After close to 6 years working as business owner, I can say that I'm quite successful (being able to pass 1,3, and 5 years marks) but I'm all alone except for my lover, I barely have any friends left and in general did not close with most of those that left and in general only close with my family and lover, but I did build a better environment for my descendant considering I'm on the upper middle rank on my late 20s from my own hard work so once I have my own kids, I can say that it should be easier for me to fulfill their desires and bring them joy due to my financial stability.
So overall I cut literally the social aspect of me as human and retain only the individual aspect till I achieve my goal of being successful in term of economic value and better living condition, sometime you got to make hard decision and sometime you need to be decisive to cut something to focus on something else, it is lonely life during the initial development of my plan and I work hard all alone since I cut my own social life but it is worth all the mental pain.

[@OPEK.]

No ones a failure. Remember that

[@sophiacristina]

My parents were wonderful, what made my life sink was bad friends at teenage and at school, i'm getting up with my life, but i never let someone blame my parents because my mistakes, sometimes it is not the parent, sometimes its some other events in life, but parents sometimes blames themselves because it...

[@ransfordflentjar5694]

I used to be sorta like these kids. I fell in hard with a bad crowd during high school and started skipping classes, started smoking weed and drinking instead of doing my school work. I grew out of that party boy persona just before becoming an adult but it was a little too late as I had already dropped out of school completely. But better late than never I guess. I'm just glad I got out with at least just above average level intelligence. I'm able to do most things that you kinda have to do on a daily basis to get around most obstacles that most people face on a daily basis so overall it wasn't all bad in the end. My dream is to become a VFX artist and I'd need above average level intelligence to succeed in the courses I'm enrolling into next year. And I already have experience in 3D modelling and sculpting so I hope I'm able to get a career in the film industry someday.

[@jensai895]

Ransford Flentjar good luck buddy, you got this.

[@ransfordflentjar5694]

@@jensai895 Thanks so much! You don't know how much that means to me! 😄 So maybe hope's not completely lost to mankind. Thank you.

[@jamesbudd3096]

Be lucky, i dropped out my freshman year like a fucking idiot and now can only work the most worst paying tedious jobs all because of a dumbass decision i made at 15. Stay in school kids👍

[@sandranoisewater6093]

The last one, got to me, you can't expect a child to raise themselves.

[@joemcmullin7081]

What is succeeding? Getting a high paying job? Having a family? Being happy and healthy?

[@jeremy41234]

Yeah all those things. Happy and healthy first though.

[@edwardgaines6561]

Being able to take care of yourself. Parents should forcefeed autonomy (Oxymoron? 😁) and accounabiltiy to their kids.
Making your kid take a trip across that state alone and back is a nice start. They can take Interstate 90.

[@moony5097]

My dad was this kid almost. His mum (at the time) was very harsh and never showed him any affection and his dad was an alcoholic. His brother was an arse to him so my dad was quite lonely growing up. He ended up joining one of the biggest and most violent bike gangs in the world (not going to say which one, for privacy reasons) and ended up fucking up a lot of peoples lives. When he met my mum for the first time, he ended up being dumped by her because of how much he left her for the gang. He came to a realisation that he is in control of his life and realised that he lost the woman of his dreams because of the gang. Within two years he had managed to give up all his bad habits, the drugs, alcohol and violence to be with her again. Sure, it cost every bike he owned as well as all the money he had, but he did it. Less than half a year later, I was on the way. Then another two years later, my sister was born. My father is a teddy bear compared to what he used to be and is the best father I could ever ask for. He has never relapsed, not even once, he has provided not only what we needed but what we wanted as well. My sister and I both had brilliant education's, and he supports my mum through her periods of bad mental health. I could not put into words how grateful I am to have him be my old man. Thank you, dad. Thank you for being amazing!
Edit: most of my childhood was spent very poor, but my parent's perseverance have ended up in our family being well off enough to support two cars, a nice house and a brand spanking new triumph for my dad to cruise on during his spare time. We also have a crazy ass dog, Bella and she has been pampered her whole life as well. Life is good. The harsh cycle both my parents were hooked into are both broken. I just hope I could be as good as a parent as they were when I come to have my own children.

[@glitch200]

I'm that kid.
I'd rather be homeless than work.

[@arsenicc67]

All I gotta say is...
I M M A. B A R B I E. G I R L

[@LoveShaysloco]

In a Barbie world. Life in plastic it's fantastic

[@lazerpie101]

Burn in Hell.

[@bryanblake8607]

It’s amazing how many people have bad parents that live in a world of we did fine. I am a product of that. True we had new clothes, food and a roof over our heads, my parents spent way more energy and time on my older brother and younger brother because they lived the party lifestyle and I was the one picking up behind the bunch but made out to be the bad one even though I did what I thought was right like taking care of my grandmother without being asked and no one else wanted to help but wanted what she and my grandfather worked for. Can’t count the times I have been accused of being a alcoholic and drug addict and never tried that junk. There’s so much more to the story.

[@yoursleepparalysisdemon1828]

Yeah I sort of failed too... wasn’t there for her

[@darthkevin1460]

Get over it life has so much more to offer than just relationships

[@janetsanchez8581]

I am glad my parent had to lower there expectations of me and my siblings. I don’t think they see us as a disgrace or something bad. But they had very high exception to my oldest sis. But she was able to handle it and has the highest education out of all of us. But I don’t think me or my brother could have been able to handle it if they did that to us. Right now i have confessed to them that i had to quit my job at McDonald’s to continue studying high school. That I am not smart, or fast enough to handle job and school. They were glad I confessed and glad I choose school over work.

[@dergluckliche4973]

Another reason I'm glad I don't have kids.

[@trevors.5922]

11:11 I dont know which psychologist it was but he came to conclude it is both. It is nature and nurture. Not one > other. Its common sense if you start thinking about it. My half brother is what I would deem to be a failure since he works minimum wage at 26 and still lives with my mom. He is a brilliant man, could solve any math problem but because of his lack of courage and confidence he will always be under someones thumb. He doesnt shave or take care of himself and his room looks like a 12 year olds room. He was not raised, period. Yet the mind was there for it. I was brilliant but born with aspergers, I only recently broke out of that hold 3 years ago and feel like im doing better than I was and thats all I focus on. I had no father

[@alenparker3056]

Just be happy knowing that nothing is for ever and that any situation will 100% change with time, no matter how. Life is in my opinion meaningless and just a constant spiral of man made problems on top of a dangerous existence full of monsters and disease. I've never signed a contract to be a existent being in this shitty world but I sure as hell flip the finger to this mess every day while working on my problems. Slowly but surely, we will all get to our light, king.

[@darst16]

I didnt have my dad around either, people have no idea how much it can affect you.

[@allthatgirlcoronado]

Y’all gonna let a TH-cam video dictate who you are as a person, every body is different.

[@someonerandom961]

Thanks for that :)

[@natelandherr5202]

Wow, I didn't know my parents use reddit

[@Dizz2K7]

I have a hard time seeing a 73 year old spilling the tea like that, let alone on reddit.

[@icecreamfromhell666]

For some reason he did smack instead going into 40k of debt

[@kekejefferson9219]

It doesn't matter how you were raised. These people our over 18 and grown.

[@simp6046]

Watched the first minute,IM CRYING 😭 I CANT ITS SAD

[@fozz539]

...

[@MrAlipatik]

this is sad, it takes to move mountians to get ur life around. But u will someday -- move mountains using faith - alone.

[@ResettisReplicas]

Wait ,that's my mom's handwriting!

[@MrWise-gw2me]

... Shit

[@incognito6033]

They get kicked out of the house. That's what any responsible parent would do.

[@redline1916]

Almost every boomer parent ever: *I never failed my son, he failed us! Look at him! Making all those bad decisions and hurting others!*
The child: *Suffers from literally the worst imaginable psychological pain ever from parents constantly yelling and berating said child*
I'm in a similar situation, but my brother is absolutely 1 billion times better than my parents. He's probably the only person in the family I trust not to act like an idiot, and he also managed to become far more successful than my parents even as a millennial.

[@davidkim9898]

If any parents are reading this, just going to work and financially providing for your children is not enough. 1, you're training them that that's the standard and the bare minimum you have to do to build a "relationship". It's as good as on the flipside of putting you in a home when you're in your old years because that's considered a "roof over your head". 2, be involved in your child's life. at the very least, learn your kid's friends names and what their interests are. your child will (not at the time) thank you by telling you things about their inner circle. I.E. Frank brought his dad's gun to school today. Shitty people come from shitty parenting. (Notice i didn't say parents)

[@JovanaSanchez000]

What IS being successful???

[@amandabushore7890]

In this Reddit post a successful adult is employed/in school, support supports themselves comfortably, not in a jail/gang, and not being an alcoholic or drug addict

[@amandabushore7890]

@first last Just according to the reddit post. Parents associate being on drugs with failure, even if it's not always the case.

[@whatlokz7481]

Instead of wanting to be better parents, they would rather habe had abortions or sent the kids to adoption lol

[@hiroshi7025]

Background music?

[@constantravens4800]

Kid Failure feat. The Fall Downs
A flutes Tale

[@BreakingNVain]

Excuse me, WTDuck?

[@attiegrey]

Not bad parenting, but bad kid for biological brain issues. It made my behaviour not so great and I've really been working on being better, but my mom feels really guilty for the depression that runs in her side of the family and my dad the ADHD. I have symptoms of things that never happened to me because, as a child, I did them to myself. Abuse mainly. Emotional. I also have symptoms of physical abuse that neither I or anyone else can figure out where came from. This made my parents feel like bad parents but I dont think they could've done anything better and don't blame them for much aside from a very small part of my negative attitude from hearing it in them

[@LoveShaysloco]

If I had a kid who I tried to teach right I would call a close personal friend who's a prison guard cop and works to help keep kids out of jail. His inmates are in a way good people who know they mest up and tell kids there story to teach them. Well have a coworker a rest my kid take him to jail and as my friend fake book him and as he take him past the cells. The prisoners who are in on it say stuff while reaching for him. Fresh meat, you look good etc you know the stereo typical your going to be some ones b**** and your parents aren't going to get you out.

[@theanarcho-luthierist2882]

i guess that second one pretty closely approximates how people see me... its hard to keep going on when the most you can ever expect of people is "pity"...

[@tufekung4618]

330:th

[@viennas.]

Shit this is sad

[@greyvirus444]

It's *Crapshoot* - NOT crap shoot peple )) I see it too often

[@dzas_cave]

12:16 guys are better than girls kindergartner me was right

[@ransfordflentjar5694]

"My sister got knocked up at 15 and is now serving jail time h*****" What's the h even stand for?... I'm really curious.

[@Pinkstars1605]

Probably heroin.

[@filetofish7858]

Ransford Flentjar - Hoeing

[@MrWise-gw2me]

@@filetofish7858 I think you're right

[@ransfordflentjar5694]

@@filetofish7858 I agree. It really does sound like that could be it.

[@WicePan]

143rd

[@circuitreads4u]

36th

[@taco5957]

11th comment

[@harryman5618]

First