I feel like this is exactly how new players see the game like its normal at first then some interpersonal drama happens that leads to someone getting throngled by someone with an infinity crown that gives them a plus 5 to everything and a resistance to bullshitery
the fewer words a magic sword has, the more dangerous it it. sure, you don’t want to be on the end of arthur’s excalibur of darkness, but you SURELY don’t want to be on the end of the throngler
If you want infinite money - just ask for security techfab board, create the security techfab and anchor it in the shuttle, then you put a lot of steel in it and produce .35 ammo boxes that are worth 600 each. Done - now you have infinite money
As someone who has seen this happen, it does work, but if you do it I'd recommend being prepared in case CentCom takes offense to the money printing scheme. I still don't know how they managed to teleport enough plasma into the cargo shuttle to turn it into a pressure cooker, but they did, and I think I still have secondhand burn scars from the incident.
the funny thing here: The few times Cargonia has worked with the Independent Republic of Salvage Shuttle... We came out *way* the hell ahead money wise. Like the Head of Cargo had to ask the other heads what to do with the money after it passed ten zeroes.
its amazing how no matter how much changes between ss13 and ss14 (not to mention differences between various codebases), cargo will always be cargo and cargo techs are on the grindset, no matter how much of the station must be sold to facilitate it hail cargonia
I remember on a round as a newish cargo tech (who was also traitor), QM found me, declared me their personal lackey, and ordered me to unanchor every vending machine on the station so we could sell them. She then used those funds to start an arms deal where we supplied materials so security could make ammo for cargo to sell for more profit. It was a _very_ prosperous round, and she ended up commending my help on getting the starting funds to pull it off (I even got given a command comms headset, and a bulletproof vest we had lying around). Unfortunately, she left on the cargo shuttle, so my plans of sneaking into the evac shuttle command section as her right hand man didn't pan out.
I had buyed 4 lottery crates, and had seen the lone op getting very close too it with his shuttle. But he did go away with his ship because he didnt want to alert the station. In one of those crates where the Throngler. I gave it to sec and the poor lone op started blasting at the bridge next to sec, sec ran out and pulverised that lone op. Didnt even stand a second.
That's middle management for you these days. Not a clue how to promote growth in the stations net throngle. Don't worry. The Captain will thank you... eventually.
4:11 I know for a fact that you were not going to take that slip lightly. You stood there for 4 minutes throwing the damn thing at the wall didn't you?
was the throngler just now added to the crates? ive been getting lotto crates non stop for a week and haven't gotten it (even then they have a lot of other cool stuff)
there is like 8k spesos sitting in a useless machine (ClothesMate) in EVERY station, if you sell it round start the whole station will be thankful that you 1) freed up space 2) got use from something useless
The first time I played SS14, I was a cargo technician.. About 15 minutes into my shift, someone asked for steel... I took a while to respond since I didn't have infinite steel, it was my first shift... They jumped over the fucking counter, took a full stack of steel and jumped away. If it wasn't for me being so passionate about Engineering, I would've quit SS14 right away. Here's how I interpret things, being a cargo technician is the equivalent of being a Mcdonalds cashier, you shut up and do your job, or people will spit in your face.
Ok lilten, i know you said some of these lines as a exaggeration but the biggest joke by far is how none of this is false, at all, 4/5 salvage crews will die instantly and leave cargo in a constant state of acquisitions to fuel a crippling gambling and drip status, while also doing their minimum to fuel the LEACHES at sci to say we did our bare minimum so that NT doesn't send the deathsquads at us That is cargo, zero exaggeration, and the only thing wrong in the video is that the QM is usually in on it
-Invest in gambleing -Get rich (you never loose) -QM finds out -Get yelled at -Keep investing -Get throngler -QM is even more mad -Throngle his ass -become the QM -Security finds out -Throngle them too -Find the captain who orderd you'r execution -Throngle his ass too -Become captain -Sell the everything on the station exept cargo -Keep investing -CEO grindset
Blud i did not believe the throngle would be a real thing that you would demonstrate I thought it was just part of the bit wait wait go back i didn't need to know this
Me, the only cargo tech. The other three got bored and left. Doing my best to keep things organized. Making sure labels say who ordered and where they are going. Incoming crate here, things to sell there. Delivering crates myself when theres no line. QM appears for first time after leaving roundstart, orders a bunch of things without labels, throws all mats into a pile(they were for three different departments..) and takes the ripley science just gifted me. I hate QMs
Honestly you can get everything you need without tc, just ask for tools and people will give you them, if you need a space suit cut through the reinforced walls to the lockers containing them. Although trying to pull the CE's magboots off without destroying the entirety of engineering is beyond me.
Not really sure how I feel about the direction cargo is going... I don't like robbing the station for cash and then playing the lotto like an adidct. I miss the days of paperwork, stamps, and a hard days work. While other jobs are becoming more and more realistic, cargos just sort of becoming a meme.
considering how overpowered it is. i feel it's only just if someone from sec is be able to counter it. by simply tossing a jelly or sprinkled donut at the person wielding it, assuming you can find/make one before the cargo techs speedruns his way. the new throngjamlin is no longer safe to wield by anyone if hit by a thrown rare kind of donut. i recon it would just put the jammed weapon into auto attacking mode, for anything near it. or god forbids try's to pick it up, again!
Nanotrasen doesn't want you to know this, but the station is free, you can take them on the cargo shuttle. I have 958 stuff at home. Also, you can RIDE the cargo shuttle, ensuring that you get first access to any crates that are arriving before they ever get to the station
i feel like i learned something while watching this but i don’t know what how to gaslight my boss and give them an introductory course to thronglonomics? yeah sure okay. viva cargonia, and remember, you may be a traitor to the station, but your boss is a CLASS traitor!
i remember being actually new to cargo tech and having no idea what i was doing on lowpop lrp and the salv tech just completely ignoring me asking for help on what i was supposed to do the only thing remotely resembling training i got that day was a very pissed off captain doing the bare minimum of what to tell me (if that)
OH YEAHHH, BADASS CARGO TECH GAMEPLAY btw those 5:36 moments really make me think that when u said "i dont play the clown for some reason" u didnt mean that u dont have a sense of humour.. its for stations safety
Nanotracen doesn't want you to know this, but anything in maint or not bolted down really, is free, you can just sell it. If anyone objects to this ignore them, they just don't know how real money is made.
I was looking for a normal guide to a cargo tech job, since i'm new to the game and the only 3 non "RP based" jobs that are avaliable for me rn are janitor, servise worker and cargo tech, and this video is not what i was looking for, but that was the funniest thing i saw in last month or so. Now I want to learn this game even more!
![[SS14] I Have My Honour](/img/n.gif)
“If security tries to stop you, remind them they are mortals”
Honestly loved it
That actually goes hard.
loved the part where he said "it's thronglin' time" and throngled all over the place
timestamp? asking for a friend
ngl this sounds kinda inapropriate 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
CEO mindset. Five-year plan. 401k. Sell Pun Pun. Throngle the heads.
Dont sell Pun Pun the value from his blood in Bloody Monkey cocktails never stops paying. The people want what they want.
When QM says something so investor-phobic and you just gotta hit him with that throngle stare.
this really is the Gorbino's Quest of BYOND games
@@the-letter_s This is JUST like BYOND games.
@@the-letter_s wow that was a rabbit hole and a half. SS13/14 is actually playable and free though!
I feel like this is exactly how new players see the game like its normal at first then some interpersonal drama happens that leads to someone getting throngled by someone with an infinity crown that gives them a plus 5 to everything and a resistance to bullshitery
Yeah that's space station 14 in a nutshell
- What the f*ck is a throngle?
- *Starts giggling and goes back to the console*
As a materials handler, I approve of this message, also hail Cargonia
i do replenishment. we are all material handlers.
I put mail in the modular compartments that go into air planes
At an airport, which is kind of like a space station
Hail Cargonia! Salvagers...don't die!
“If security tries to take it from you, just remind them that they are indeed *mortal* ” line of the century
This is the funniest video you made. The patholical gambling, the gaslighting, the violent murder. Truly Space Station
its somehow even funnier than the 420 cult. best video. amen
"I don't need to explain The Throngler"
*proceeds to give a hands on demonstration*
It explains itself.
the fewer words a magic sword has, the more dangerous it it.
sure, you don’t want to be on the end of arthur’s excalibur of darkness, but you SURELY don’t want to be on the end of the throngler
OHHHH THATS WHERE ITS FROM
You got to join the Cargo hustle grindset.
Go throngle those haters
Next crate will be the big one, I can feel it.
@@Liltenhead90% of cargo hustlers get fired before they hit it big, throngle well.
99% Of gamblers, I mean investors kill themselves before they hit the jackpot, start investing!! 🤑🤑🤑🤑@@Liltenhead
If you want infinite money - just ask for security techfab board, create the security techfab and anchor it in the shuttle, then you put a lot of steel in it and produce .35 ammo boxes that are worth 600 each.
Done - now you have infinite money
As someone who has seen this happen, it does work, but if you do it I'd recommend being prepared in case CentCom takes offense to the money printing scheme.
I still don't know how they managed to teleport enough plasma into the cargo shuttle to turn it into a pressure cooker, but they did, and I think I still have secondhand burn scars from the incident.
“Salvage doesnt need fuel”
Spoken like a real cargo tech
Also, they dont need their suits, their weapons, their air supply…
Their organs, their lives, their souls.
@@marlikbudvergardall will be sold to Centcom to get the QM their luxury hardsuit
the funny thing here: The few times Cargonia has worked with the Independent Republic of Salvage Shuttle... We came out *way* the hell ahead money wise.
Like the Head of Cargo had to ask the other heads what to do with the money after it passed ten zeroes.
@@marlikbudvergard wait, salvage has souls? Why am I just learning about this now. I could be turning that into profit.
Instructions unclear, got slipped by the clown HoS, who then proceeded to throngle me instead
_CURSES, FOILED AGAIN!_
the grand lottery crate and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race
Saw a Kudzu on the cargo shuttle from lottery crates just today
Ah yes threaten sec for their donuts and then later remind them that they're indeed mortal a perfect plan
This is a joke.
This is the best joke.
I have a slight suspicion that this is for legal reasons.
is it?
Hope you have some jokes left for april.
*Loud incorrect buzzer*
We getting out of perma with this video!
99% of gamblers quit before hitting big
Absolutely, next crate is the big winner.
you can put an appraisal tool in your tool belt
also i wish you didnt talk about the throngler because its way funnier to experience it blindly
Trust in the crates brother
The best paet is that i thought this was real for a second lol, before the throngle
Fear thy throngle
unfortunately my friend this is all entirely real, the throngler is too
He had me until the first "you don't give a shit about that". Then I knew it was another Botany weed Tutorial.
Hail Cargonia
Hail!
The last time some guy threatened me with a "throngling" it wasn't while playing this game.
lol
This feels like an april fools joke. And its december
Edit: QM: He can never be throngling
QM: OH SHIT HES THRONGLING
This video taught me to be a gamble addict and overescalate, literally everything a man needs for a party. thanks Liltenhead
JUST as I got into cargo, also love your videos Liltenhead
so good i rate this 15 throngled secoff's out of 1 gibbed qm
FACT: 90% of Cargo Techs quit investing just before they $$$ Hit It Big $$$
This is one of the best guides holy shit. My sides. xD
its amazing how no matter how much changes between ss13 and ss14 (not to mention differences between various codebases), cargo will always be cargo and cargo techs are on the grindset, no matter how much of the station must be sold to facilitate it
hail cargonia
I remember on a round as a newish cargo tech (who was also traitor), QM found me, declared me their personal lackey, and ordered me to unanchor every vending machine on the station so we could sell them.
She then used those funds to start an arms deal where we supplied materials so security could make ammo for cargo to sell for more profit.
It was a _very_ prosperous round, and she ended up commending my help on getting the starting funds to pull it off (I even got given a command comms headset, and a bulletproof vest we had lying around). Unfortunately, she left on the cargo shuttle, so my plans of sneaking into the evac shuttle command section as her right hand man didn't pan out.
it was fun!
God.. Im so happy to see the throngler became real
the throngler reminds me of bullshittery like the tele locker from salvage.
I had buyed 4 lottery crates, and had seen the lone op getting very close too it with his shuttle. But he did go away with his ship because he didnt want to alert the station. In one of those crates where the Throngler. I gave it to sec and the poor lone op started blasting at the bridge next to sec, sec ran out and pulverised that lone op. Didnt even stand a second.
Average cargo tech be like
Can’t believe they de-throngled the game. Cargo unplayable now.
That's middle management for you these days. Not a clue how to promote growth in the stations net throngle. Don't worry. The Captain will thank you... eventually.
4:11 I know for a fact that you were not going to take that slip lightly. You stood there for 4 minutes throwing the damn thing at the wall didn't you?
was the throngler just now added to the crates? ive been getting lotto crates non stop for a week and haven't gotten it (even then they have a lot of other cool stuff)
I'M DYING, OH GOD, DYING OF LAUGHTER. LMFAO
Oh god, that is the best laugh I have had this entire year.
The grand lotery made cargo in to a shitpost dep AND I LOVE IT
Bro cargo was always a shitpost dept lmao
The only thing missing is a bwoink sound effect right at the end
Is it april fools already? 😅 New cargo tech, but I was absolutely pissed at my coworkers ordering lottos while barely working any of the bounties!
there is like 8k spesos sitting in a useless machine (ClothesMate) in EVERY station, if you sell it round start the whole station will be thankful that you 1) freed up space 2) got use from something useless
The Grey shirts may complain, not that anyone cares
The first time I played SS14, I was a cargo technician..
About 15 minutes into my shift, someone asked for steel... I took a while to respond since I didn't have infinite steel, it was my first shift...
They jumped over the fucking counter, took a full stack of steel and jumped away.
If it wasn't for me being so passionate about Engineering, I would've quit SS14 right away.
Here's how I interpret things, being a cargo technician is the equivalent of being a Mcdonalds cashier, you shut up and do your job, or people will spit in your face.
Throngle them.
Cargo technician is a fun job, unless you're told to sit in the receptionist window and take orders all day.
That can get a bit grating.
Ok lilten, i know you said some of these lines as a exaggeration but the biggest joke by far is how none of this is false, at all, 4/5 salvage crews will die instantly and leave cargo in a constant state of acquisitions to fuel a crippling gambling and drip status, while also doing their minimum to fuel the LEACHES at sci to say we did our bare minimum so that NT doesn't send the deathsquads at us
That is cargo, zero exaggeration, and the only thing wrong in the video is that the QM is usually in on it
Merely in on it? Who do you think came up with the idea in the first place!?
I feel like I just took a course in Thronglenomics
AIRBRAKE IN SPACE!? jk thank you for more awesome and informational content on this game!
-Invest in gambleing
-Get rich (you never loose)
-QM finds out
-Get yelled at
-Keep investing
-Get throngler
-QM is even more mad
-Throngle his ass
-become the QM
-Security finds out
-Throngle them too
-Find the captain who orderd you'r execution
-Throngle his ass too
-Become captain
-Sell the everything on the station exept cargo
-Keep investing
-CEO grindset
CEO of Cargonia
Blizzard likes this loot boxes
Tip: nicely ste..ghm ask for secfab and print 35 ammo for 600 and print inf and gamble it away
NEW cargo MALE DISCOVERED (BETTER THAN SIGMA MALE)
Blud i did not believe the throngle would be a real thing that you would demonstrate I thought it was just part of the bit wait wait go back i didn't need to know this
My dudes....its THRONGLIN TIME!
I know for a fucking fact that cargonia will be making multiple appearances after this video
Me, the only cargo tech.
The other three got bored and left.
Doing my best to keep things organized.
Making sure labels say who ordered and where they are going.
Incoming crate here, things to sell there.
Delivering crates myself when theres no line.
QM appears for first time after leaving roundstart, orders a bunch of things without labels, throws all mats into a pile(they were for three different departments..) and takes the ripley science just gifted me.
I hate QMs
That is borderline grief, jesus
holy shit i thought this was a legit guide at first but the second half of the video had me throngling in my pants
"Remember to remind them they are mortal" wtf xD
Guide to advanced Mimery when?
This is why the grand lottery is worse than Christmas presents
You mean better? :)
HAIL CARGONIA. GUNCARGO.
Well boys, it's time to join Cargo.
I belive that we need solid syndie guide, like best places to strike and best things to buy depending on situation
Honestly you can get everything you need without tc, just ask for tools and people will give you them, if you need a space suit cut through the reinforced walls to the lockers containing them.
Although trying to pull the CE's magboots off without destroying the entirety of engineering is beyond me.
Not really sure how I feel about the direction cargo is going... I don't like robbing the station for cash and then playing the lotto like an adidct. I miss the days of paperwork, stamps, and a hard days work. While other jobs are becoming more and more realistic, cargos just sort of becoming a meme.
This is just one item, and you should not play cargo like this.
@Liltenhead I get it's a joke, but is grounded in truth. A lot of people play it like this.
@@zylo202Play more MRP I guess
So glad to see that I'm not the only person that remembers "the throngler"
I had no idea this project existed but I have started watching these videos and using 'throngle' as a verb in my daily life.
Ok, I followed the guide perfectly. But what should I do with that popup window with annoying sound after security throngled?
Tell em you're a winner
Unlocked QM last night, now I have to threaten all my CT's with demotion before they throngle my behind.
Unless... I throngle them first.
Finally a tutorial for the real cargo technician. Hail Cargonia.
considering how overpowered it is. i feel it's only just if someone from sec is be able to counter it.
by simply tossing a jelly or sprinkled donut at the person wielding it, assuming you can find/make one before the cargo techs speedruns his way.
the new throngjamlin is no longer safe to wield by anyone if hit by a thrown rare kind of donut.
i recon it would just put the jammed weapon into auto attacking mode, for anything near it.
or god forbids try's to pick it up, again!
I mean it only takes 4 disabler shots. With multiple secoffs that's nothing
long live cargonia
Beautifully well done
Lol
Nanotrasen doesn't want you to know this, but the station is free, you can take them on the cargo shuttle. I have 958 stuff at home. Also, you can RIDE the cargo shuttle, ensuring that you get first access to any crates that are arriving before they ever get to the station
Riding the cargo shuttle is awkward, but it is the best way to escape any circumstance
@@andrewgreeb916 Whats that? The station is full of ZOMBIES? Well, I really don't see how that is my problem, seeing as I'm on the salvage shuttle.
i feel like i learned something while watching this but i don’t know what
how to gaslight my boss and give them an introductory course to thronglonomics? yeah sure okay. viva cargonia, and remember, you may be a traitor to the station, but your boss is a CLASS traitor!
wait can you really get that weapon from that crate?
yes
i haye lrp salv so much from how shit they are
i remember being actually new to cargo tech and having no idea what i was doing on lowpop lrp and the salv tech just completely ignoring me asking for help on what i was supposed to do
the only thing remotely resembling training i got that day was a very pissed off captain doing the bare minimum of what to tell me (if that)
This video maded me laugh hard enough to have an athsma attack, absolutly hilarious. Almost makes me want to play cargo again, almost.
The Trongler - is a big meme. Sadly it's not an aprilfools...
The Throngler, my beloved
OH YEAHHH, BADASS CARGO TECH GAMEPLAY
btw those 5:36 moments really make me think that when u said "i dont play the clown for some reason" u didnt mean that u dont have a sense of humour.. its for stations safety
A a veteran RD... i feel like i need to stop having portal firefights with cargo... i feel scared now...
I wish this wasn't just him saying memes the entire time.
This is one of my only joke videos I have made. This isn't a real guide.
Really that is my mistake for looking for it as such. But such is the curse of you being -the- SS14 resource.@@Liltenhead
If this is a joke then how far removed is it from actually being a cargo tech?
Hey why the box you are selling is gasping?.
I discovered that humans are worth 3k spesos.
Say someting and you will be our next gain
I hate that the Freezon and Tritium stock market crashed. I miss the good old days...
Nanotracen doesn't want you to know this, but anything in maint or not bolted down really, is free, you can just sell it.
If anyone objects to this ignore them, they just don't know how real money is made.
You know. I throngle. You throngle. He/She/Me throngle.
next PR for the grand lottery is just a actual gambling machine.
Hoyl shit,,,,, gambling,,,,,? mystery boxes,,,,,,,,
I was looking for a normal guide to a cargo tech job, since i'm new to the game and the only 3 non "RP based" jobs that are avaliable for me rn are janitor, servise worker and cargo tech, and this video is not what i was looking for, but that was the funniest thing i saw in last month or so.
Now I want to learn this game even more!
This is one of my only "joke" videos. Nearly all of my videos are legit guides.
Welp. There goes Cargo 😆 Who am I kidding they do this anyways.
Lottery usually makes sec shit themself as cargo has more and better weapons
You do realize *some* people are going to take this advice seriously, don't you xD
Hail, Hail Cargonia, Land of Stolen Things!
I notice more and more people just yoloing their money into the lottery after this video.
could've named it "Meet the Cargo Tech"
Day 71 of asking Liltenhead to unban me in his comments
Learning about the throngler made me want to learn cargo