Gay Jokes - Bill Maher

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 173

  • @reidhanson4827
    @reidhanson4827 3 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    I’m gay and I freaking love Maher’s gay jokes, because underneath them you know he’s on our side.

    • @nickbarcheck1019
      @nickbarcheck1019 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same here, brother.

    • @midorimashintaro2092
      @midorimashintaro2092 ปีที่แล้ว

      Can't be sure anymore

    • @davidnewland2461
      @davidnewland2461 ปีที่แล้ว

      My grandmother was from Poland she loved polack jokes

    • @davidnewland2461
      @davidnewland2461 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I always thought s good name of as gay steak house is the brown round.

    • @davidnewland2461
      @davidnewland2461 ปีที่แล้ว

      You couldn't do that in a bunk on a ship.

  • @edgartriay8485
    @edgartriay8485 3 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    Bill Maher, you're almost at Joan Rivers level on the gay jokes.
    I'm not offended by any of them. I enjoy them. Thank you.

  • @oenrn
    @oenrn 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    The best part is that in "A brief history of Tim: from the big bang to black holes", that's the real subtitle with a whole new meaning.

  • @generalerica4123
    @generalerica4123 5 ปีที่แล้ว +163

    "...20!"
    Neil DeGrasse Tyson. Ladies and gentlefolks, our favorite astrophysicist has done it again.

    • @accskaguy
      @accskaguy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Unless Glen likes getting caught, the answer is 19. Just a thought.

    • @Luisventuralaw
      @Luisventuralaw 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@accskaguy
      I immediately thought the same.

    • @DeusEx.Machina
      @DeusEx.Machina 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@accskaguy The Park Ranger is Glen’s boyfriend.

    • @hijodelaisla275
      @hijodelaisla275 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@accskaguy That's Glenn, with two Ns - Glen with one N is NOT gay.

    • @mattkastely1938
      @mattkastely1938 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That’s me. Figure out the math, no matter what.

  • @henryw1002
    @henryw1002 5 ปีที่แล้ว +95

    "They called him a Navy Seal ......... NOT because he was in Special Forces, Cause he was Always Balancing Balls on his Nose" LOL.

  • @robertschooner1812
    @robertschooner1812 3 ปีที่แล้ว +108

    I'm gay and I think he's funny as hell! If you can't laugh at yourself you need to be made fun of.

    • @A22DNAL
      @A22DNAL 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Dude, say it! Humor is humor!

    • @gordonsmith4493
      @gordonsmith4493 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You are right there. Laughing at one's self is an endearing quality. Sadly it's being drowned on a murky cesspool of political correctness and wokeness. PS. Stay as you are.

    • @robertschooner1812
      @robertschooner1812 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@gordonsmith4493 I would rather be a woke than asleep.

    • @jcrodriguez6324
      @jcrodriguez6324 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Bud that’s cause you understand that what he’s making fun of is the hypocrisy of the homophobic conservative

  • @tahitiantreats
    @tahitiantreats 5 ปีที่แล้ว +92

    I’m gay, and I approve these jokes. 👍
    LOL I love Bill Maher!

    • @tahitiantreats
      @tahitiantreats 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Just kidding Bill doesn’t need my approval or anyone else’s. He can say whatever he wants so long as it’s still a free country.

    • @jed-henrywitkowski6470
      @jed-henrywitkowski6470 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@tahitiantreats Hell yeah.

    • @chopin65
      @chopin65 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yeah. Me too. I keep thinking someone will expect us to be triggered. But I showed this to my boyfriend, and he laughed too.

  • @stevodfn
    @stevodfn 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    As a gay man I loved all of these. It only shows that Bill is knows the subject well and isn't just pushing rude insults. And why should anyone be exempt of being made fun of?

  • @bradleyrichard
    @bradleyrichard 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Attention all male stand-up comics...THIS is how you make gay jokes! I laughed at every single one of these moments. I won't name names, but there are a FUCK-ton of straight male comedians who think making jokes at the expense of the LGBT community is perfectly acceptable; but then they go and do it the wrong way. If you want some examples on how to poke fun at gay men and not be an asshole about it...Bill Maher is your source. He's also been an amazing ally. I'm sure he'll never read this comment, but I really do want to thank him for knowing how to be an ally AND know how to make jokes about us that actually make us laugh.

  • @stevesorrell9835
    @stevesorrell9835 5 ปีที่แล้ว +99

    I don't care which side of the aisle you're on! That shit's hilarious 😹 Good on ya!

    • @thunderforthrc7457
      @thunderforthrc7457 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      So true one of the best compilations

    • @ingriddubbel8468
      @ingriddubbel8468 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Its good for you NOT good on you.

    • @stevesorrell9835
      @stevesorrell9835 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ingrid Dubbel
      Oops! I forgot. TH-cam is where one goes, when he desires to have his use of colloquialisms corrected by a total stranger.
      Thank you. I'll try harder 👍🏻

  • @kenbaker-ps6ej
    @kenbaker-ps6ej ปีที่แล้ว +1

    How many people used the calculator on their phone and thought, “Holy shit. The answer is 20”?

  • @chopin65
    @chopin65 3 ปีที่แล้ว +55

    I am gay, and I laughed at everyone one of these jokes. I almost peed myself a couple times, so, thanks Bill.

    • @xhagast
      @xhagast 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Lol, they are not anti gay, they are anti hypocrite.

    • @chopin65
      @chopin65 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@xhagast Exactly. They're real. I completely respect Bill. He keeps you honest.

  • @Nighthawk-m9u
    @Nighthawk-m9u 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Just gems, Bill....pure and simple.
    Put 'em together and you got one fine necklace.!

  • @leisurefarm
    @leisurefarm 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    oh thank you so much! I couldn't get enough of it!

  • @katherynemero9355
    @katherynemero9355 5 ปีที่แล้ว +99

    If they had gay math when I was growing up, I might have actually paid attention. Maybe.

    • @Zeldarw104
      @Zeldarw104 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Hahahahaha!! 😂😂😂You're not allowed to be funnier than bill?! 😁

    • @lewilewis3944
      @lewilewis3944 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Nah

    • @rodrigobraz2
      @rodrigobraz2 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yes, she is.

    • @kellymarkel576
      @kellymarkel576 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      This has nothing to do with the gay thing. I'm your age, you're my male doppelganger fala we have some of the same views. They just in Florida where I live, made the social distancing in the middle of a pandemic mandatory except in church. When they all die and it gets crazy here I wonder where their God will be then? So fucked up

  • @jesus-of-cheeses
    @jesus-of-cheeses 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    It’s actually 19 or less, because the time it takes to perform the actual inspection is not 0.

    • @hijodelaisla275
      @hijodelaisla275 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I suspect NdGT of being unfamiliar with tearooms and lavatory inspections.
      What's an "actual inspection"? Anything like an inspection?

  • @karlwashington6414
    @karlwashington6414 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Charlie in my chocolate factory 🤣

  • @nomorebushz
    @nomorebushz 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    I’m gay. This was hilarious!

    • @nomorebushz
      @nomorebushz 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      K C
      I felt like saying it. I was trying to provoke you personally.
      So there! :-)

    • @nomorebushz
      @nomorebushz 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      K C
      I can see the point on top of your head :-)

    • @kevineug
      @kevineug 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @K C Because they were not making jokes about feet. You see my point?

    • @kevineug
      @kevineug 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @K C i think you are a little off on this one. It would be more personal

    • @bradlocken2621
      @bradlocken2621 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Doesn’t matter if you’re gay or not, they are just jokes. Nothing serious

  • @mazactal6063
    @mazactal6063 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Beyond brilliant ..... thanks Bill.

  • @edgartriay8485
    @edgartriay8485 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Love it. Thank you!

  • @carljones7466
    @carljones7466 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I love gay jokes and iam gay better a sense of humour than a life of ignorance

  • @richardthomas5852
    @richardthomas5852 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Only Maher could get away with this. 🤣🤣🤣

  • @kevsuc
    @kevsuc 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    My favorite that I found in another TH-cam video, about a new rule of Bill dislikes the idea of gay frat club: "fraternities is for fucking assholes, NOT for fucking assholes!!"

  • @nickbarcheck1019
    @nickbarcheck1019 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I'm gay and this shit is hysterical.

  • @joshuaalexander4984
    @joshuaalexander4984 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    And this is why free speach is so important! Otherwise we may never laugh 🤣

    • @hijodelaisla275
      @hijodelaisla275 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      And don't forget about free speech, too!

    • @aaazzz090
      @aaazzz090 ปีที่แล้ว

      Agreed 100 percent,,,

  • @friendsoftheamazonjungle
    @friendsoftheamazonjungle 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Gay jokes are cool 😂😂😂 Greetings from the Northern Peruvian Amazon Jungle 🇵🇪🌴❤️🙏

  • @gigig6021
    @gigig6021 5 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Anthonyyyyyyy!!!😭😭😭😭😭

  • @Lendor100
    @Lendor100 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I love Neil, the Nerd king, but it obviously takes a gay nerd to answer this one, since the answer is 19. So be careful Glenn....

    • @ShovelChef
      @ShovelChef 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Fair enough 😏

    • @michaelpreston233
      @michaelpreston233 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I'll wager Sinner ter Lindsey Graham would like it.

  • @JB-oq6kc
    @JB-oq6kc 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Funny, as always!

  • @mikelayton3810
    @mikelayton3810 5 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    Not saying Jesus was gay, but he spent all his time with 12 other guys and wore a dress.

    • @greekphysique6141
      @greekphysique6141 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Lame

    • @rodprops
      @rodprops 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Lmfao

    • @pepe6666
      @pepe6666 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      you do raise a valid point.

    • @greekphysique6141
      @greekphysique6141 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Thunder Bird ok okay...
      I understand you're gay and a keyboard warrior.
      The worst kind of lame.

    • @levinwhitfield3398
      @levinwhitfield3398 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      He seemed to like sheep too.

  • @ShovelChef
    @ShovelChef 5 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    See, this is why I fux wit Neil. He is very often my kind of pedantic. My kind of nerd. What other famous person would actually answer that absurd, raunchy word problem, accurately, without flinching? I can't think of anyone. 😌👏👏👏👏 (0:22)

    • @desertdaisymarie6951
      @desertdaisymarie6951 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I’m not famous but I would..

    • @poowawatv6178
      @poowawatv6178 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      i used to but tbh hes a perv...youll see

    • @anonUK
      @anonUK 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      5 per hour. Pretty straightforward.

  • @michaeloftaoism
    @michaeloftaoism 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    RIP Anthony! 😔

  • @wolfstar675
    @wolfstar675 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I'm hilarious and this was gay!

  • @AndrewJamesMcQuinn
    @AndrewJamesMcQuinn 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Maher has always been pro human rights, anti church, and absolutely NOT homophobic.

  • @stephanmatuteschulz6209
    @stephanmatuteschulz6209 ปีที่แล้ว

    Anthony Bourdain! Wow, now im said after all the laughter...

  • @MrPlaiedes
    @MrPlaiedes 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    RIP, anthony!! Ugh

  • @primeror
    @primeror 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Love you Bill

  • @biz2130
    @biz2130 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Screw political correctness and Bill this the man!!

  • @michaelpreston233
    @michaelpreston233 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Wow! 'Some Real Comedy.

  • @karlwashington6414
    @karlwashington6414 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    They could tell without asking

  • @jamesjackovich5886
    @jamesjackovich5886 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    If Larry Craig is in the stall next to you how many fingers should be waving at you?

  • @michaelsexton8650
    @michaelsexton8650 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    DeGrasse Tyson was wrong. The answer was 19. 20 would get the guy caught

    • @konstantinopoulos33
      @konstantinopoulos33 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      To be fair Bill didn’t ask how many without getting caught, just how many. He can do 20, then get caught and prevented from doing more. That’s one more than if he doesn’t get caught, so 20 is the maximum...

  • @michelheroux3786
    @michelheroux3786 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    He's funny, vaut a bit crazy!!!

  • @aklm79
    @aklm79 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hilarious!!! 🤣 🤣 🤣

  • @tehutibrim594
    @tehutibrim594 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    A walkout kloset, this guy

  • @MuhammedMuhammed-vd5or
    @MuhammedMuhammed-vd5or 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    ohh my god ... this is beyound funy ..

  • @sylkelster
    @sylkelster 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Answer can't be twenty unless the inspections last 0 time.

  • @حمزه-ش8ع
    @حمزه-ش8ع 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    “20”

  • @jokendrick2124
    @jokendrick2124 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Funnnnny!!!

  • @jackcherbourg2899
    @jackcherbourg2899 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hardly a Navy seal, more like a Navy bear

  • @seanxu2517
    @seanxu2517 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Hahahaha hahahahahaha

  • @bonniemccarley3355
    @bonniemccarley3355 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    WAIT,WAIT YOU ARE MY PRETTY BOY

  • @canocano5480
    @canocano5480 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    A+

  • @thatguy22441
    @thatguy22441 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    What Navy guys call "snorkeling", Army guys call "Arabian Goggles" or the "Roman War Helmet." It isn't actually homoerotic. It's really juvenile, though.
    Speaking of gays in the military, I saw the attitude go from severe homophobia to utter indifference. Between 9-11, Iraq, Afghanistan, BRAC (Base Realignment And Closure, re-flagging units, closing installations...basically a mass reorganization) during the middle of a two-front war and guys doing multiple deployments, the issue of homosexuality in the ranks became far less pressing. In fact, our attitude became that it wasn't very manly to let it get to you. Anyone who let that get to him would let other things get to him and would become a liability in a firefight.
    Our stoic attitude was another example of that "toxic masculinity" feminists go on and on about.

  • @Posijax
    @Posijax 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Nice

  • @sagnikparida
    @sagnikparida 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Hey, guys, can anybody figure out the original title of the made-up book, Bill mentions at 6:27? Thanks. (It's bugging me)

    • @jenniferhart559
      @jenniferhart559 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It might be "Every Inch a King" (?)
      The cover somewhat resembles too stellabooks.com/books/mrs-j-worthington-bliss/every-inch-a-king/625714

    • @sagnikparida
      @sagnikparida 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@jenniferhart559 Yeah, seems so. Thanks.

  • @wirechair
    @wirechair ปีที่แล้ว

    :58 the answer is not 20. If the question is how many you can do between check ins then you can do 19 and will be finishing the 19th on the 4th hour or 240th minute. 20 would be starting on the 240th minute but that would be when the park ranger is returning and you cannot actually afford to start it then. It won’t be between check ins. That’s the correct math and even the world renowned physicist got it wrong.

    • @ChiSam-kw5jk
      @ChiSam-kw5jk ปีที่แล้ว

      Even a black genius is stupid by any standard measure.

  • @jamesjackovich5886
    @jamesjackovich5886 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    If your an astronaut that's loves to land on Uranus

  • @FrankValenzuelajr
    @FrankValenzuelajr 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    That is everyone’s to damn sensitive you got it right

  • @mikeharrison4846
    @mikeharrison4846 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Funny man !

  • @ingriddubbel8468
    @ingriddubbel8468 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    They don't teach actual history in public schools.

    • @TheBeatle49
      @TheBeatle49 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I agree! Especially in the South where they skip over slavery.

  • @mariaavery1212
    @mariaavery1212 ปีที่แล้ว

    They can if the were heels. They do have heels for men. Le Bron James did.

  • @vladtepes7539
    @vladtepes7539 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    about homosexuals too.

  • @Magnabee97
    @Magnabee97 ปีที่แล้ว

    Too gay for the navy? Not anymore.

  • @canocano5480
    @canocano5480 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Lmao!!

  • @blakeandersen4975
    @blakeandersen4975 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @mikejackson5666
    @mikejackson5666 ปีที่แล้ว

    Gay math,,,lmao

  • @nomorebushz
    @nomorebushz 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Walk out closet!

  • @thelonewanderer4084
    @thelonewanderer4084 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Omg

  • @stranraerwal
    @stranraerwal 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Bill tells those (partly very old and rather "fucked up") gay jokes with a certain relish...too much relish, maybe?

  • @DonJuanMarco1994
    @DonJuanMarco1994 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    😆😆😆😆😆😆

  • @specialized29er86
    @specialized29er86 ปีที่แล้ว

    When was the first gay person and is that why God murdered all humans on Earth.

  • @anthonydin4401
    @anthonydin4401 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Only God can Judge! Not Bill Maher

  • @josecampechano6136
    @josecampechano6136 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Neal :20

  • @travisjones640
    @travisjones640 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Can’t make these jokes in woke 2019

  • @bigbaba1111
    @bigbaba1111 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This guy is hilarious.:)

  • @natanfernandopereiramartin3491
    @natanfernandopereiramartin3491 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I don't support the democratic party. !!!