I was married to a narcissist for 20 years, and over those years I watched that person become more and more sadistic. Finally, that person divorced me with the belief they were hurting me. It was the biggest favor anyone ever has done for me. It saved my life. I feel for those in that place.
Same happened to me last February- 18 yrs, just finished building our dream house. He knew he was lucky to have me bc he knows I should have left him a long time ago. How brilliantly sadistic!!! When no one would talk to him due to his addiction, not even his parents, I stood by his side and defended him. When one of his flavors of the month became a useful tool, he easily convinced himself that it was indeed himself who was the victim of abuse from me, I was the cause of all his failures and had done nothing bt drag him down and he convinced himself he was capable of feelings for the new place holder and could find his bravery by hiding behind her so he could attack me. It didn’t take as long to get over him as i would have thought and I feel like I’m in my 30’s while I head towards 60. Im buying a houseboat to live aboard year round with my two faithful rescue pittie best friends.
Wow! I got married to a dark tetrad covert narcissist for only 3 months, but didn't know what his love- bombing was, and later, his horrible changes in Behavior. So I gently but persistently questioned him, standing up for myself, since none of it made any sense to me-- and paid a dear price, as he escalated his crazymaking and verbal abuse rapidly to frightening me with knives and guns and physically abusing me. I don't have time for the whole story, but basically, he straight-up lied about a very important subject (in front of me and another person), that I later obtained a photo and written proof of, so he could not deny it. It was going to cost him dearly in his social life. So in an attempt to put the focus on me, he told a bunch of Lies and kicked me out of the house and filed for an annulment, thinking that would implicate me and hurt me socially. It was so sad to watch our friends and fellow churchgoers who knew me well find out who he really is... OOPS! And Likewise, it was the best gift he could have given me. I packed up and moved far away, and I didn't have to answer to anyone at church about leaving him. I didn't even have to fight him in court about anything, since it was an annulment. Evil people may work their devilment, but God is good and works all things for good to those who love Him. Romans 8:28
@@charlottewenzel2005Sounds like you got out with some financial means to help you move forward. A houseboat sounds lovely! God bless you and your pitties!
Corrupt people seek power and control though secrets, deception and manipulation. I don't want to have anything to do wth such individuals. Dignity, respect, civility, love, honesty, joy and peace are my guiding stars! Thank you for your invaluable help and support dr Carter.
Narc Boss always weaves a lie into every interchange, no matter how ridiculous & unnecessary. My superb acting ability is my best asset in this workplace.
This is so true. I've been married to a narcissist for three decades, and he has gotten more and more corrupt over the years. He is downright sadistic at this point.
@@annjohnson8437 I could have written this. I’m in the process of divorcing the most malignant human being I’ve ever known. We were together for 30 years and he became almost sociopathic.
I’m in the process of getting of my husband of 40 years .I couldn’t quite put my finger on what was going on till I started to listen to these videos. It all became clear , I had never heard of a narcissist, didn’t know what gaslighting was or what manipulation was . I now understand everything, oh yea ,constant cheating and denying it when I found proof . Now I’m getting rid of him and making him sell the house . I’m obviously nervous about going it alone after all these years but nothing could be any worse then staying . He’s 70 now so I told him he wasn’t ageing gracefully and he’s losing the best supply he ever had 😂😂😂😂. The look on his face was priceless.
The Narcissist believes that....Being SUPERIOR is way far more important than being caring....Where am I? My goodness is my wisdom..I CARE....Thanks, Dr. C. Team Healthy is the only way to go.
It took me decades to see through his superficial persona because my ex-friend looked charming and everyone liked him. I felt something was wrong with him when he often disrespected my boundaries. After that, I remembered his first spouse ran away from home. 🏃♀💨🏠 Finally, I phased out the friendship with him and went no contact with people around him. 📵
First comment l've made in almost three years. Currently living and swimming through hate groups and jabbersizers (narcissistic people) that traffic me and hold me down every single day. They destroyed my life on purpose. They follow me around and keep me from being secure. It's a process to find your way through it. Good things are on the way for me, because I can and do, do the work. I still don't have all the pieces of who, how and why... as that's the gig in a nutshell, so they can cover up what they do to people. But I have enough proof for sure. I can't thank you enough Dr.C. The only way that I could have gotten to the other side and made it through emotionally is your videos. Only safe outlet I had. I hope maybe one day I might actually be able to tell you about it more. I appreciate you and the work you do. It's hard to trust people, and I trust you. You'll never know what that means to someone that's been picked to fall. "But still, I rise." :) My life is mine, and not for toxic people to run all over. Thank you!!
Dr Les Carter is correct that a narcissistic person will reappear to create new fear. They also seem to use holidays or anniversary dates for past events.
When they seem to be transformative in public by hiding their true selves, they gain power and control. A self-confident and healthy person does not want and does not need power over others. And when they are in charge in a position of power, they will not abuse their power because they know: The group is as strong as its weakest member and therefore the weakest has to be supported the most.
@lishmahlishmah Hi Lishmah, no, I was not intentionally quoting someone else but in fact, the Bible already gives the answer to this content by saying that the body already suffers when just one piece of the body, for example a finger or a toe is suffering, the whole body will be suffering. You then get aware that everything/everyone is connected to each other and that the suffering member belongs to the whole body as an unity.
Roxy TH-cam comments sections really bad working lately. I've just seen, by random case, one reply you sent to me in a past video.. But I had NO notification at all 🥴
I was in a relationship with a narc some years ago, and unfortunately it rubbed off onto me. I had to lie to people at times to cover up situations, and keep the peace. I also became un reliable. They were both things which were not my character.
I’m going thru that right now. I’ve always been early for every appt or engagement in my life. My husband makes me late by waiting until the last minute to ask me to do something that has to be done before I leave. Or calling me with some emergency shortly after I’ve arrived at my appt. He’s constantly worried that I’m not speaking highly of him to anyone, my family especially. But he posts horrific stuff on Facebook for all of them to see. I’m done covering up for him. I need my family to know what I’m dealing with so, if the time comes for me to need a ‘safe space’ they’ll be ready. I’m working towards leaving, but it’s a process.
I could not comprehend how my older sister turned into such a twisted, corrupt person … Great comfort in hearing it happens in families because I’ve never seen a situation like this and it sure doesn’t reflect the way the family was raised (faults and all!!). As always, thank you and bless you for your wonderful, caring work. You are very appreciated!! 😘❤️
When you find out what the narcissist is doing on the sly, the whole story is one hundred times worse. I remind myself that behaving well shows my love for God-as I plan my escape.
I was surprised to find he was a liar as well as a thief… but then, thieves don’t break into an empty home! Narcs look for someone to loot & they’ll destroy you in the process of enriching themselves. Qualities such as decency, honesty & loyalty simply don’t pay
Thank you so much Dr.C and Gus and Team Healthy! It was such a shock when I looked at my husband and realized that he was corrupt, words can't describe how bad or extreme that is.
Corruption occurs when many of a narcissist is a multimillionaire and regardless of their nasty behavior the " family" kicks the honest one to the curb. Or down the stairs. 😢
Dr C, this was a difficult topic indeed. You have that je ne sais quoi in your delivery. Its not triggering, its enlightening. I am so very grateful you do what you do and that I had the great good fortune to find your channel. Being a part of your incredible community is essential in my week! Continued and Greater Blessings, Dr C, always! 🧡
That corruption can spill into others' lives also. People who stay with the deeply corrupt, they themselves become corrupt over time. It's ever so pernicious and seeps into the person who protects, justifies and believes the corrupted one. I have seen someone hanging around a corrupt person for decades that become corrupt themselves to stay with that person. I've seen it.
Lately I feel like the corruption has taken over society and systems. I had to find a way to let it (corrupt feeling) go and focus on my individual goodness.
Took a break from Canadian politics to get right sized & grounded in priorities. Thank you Dr. Carter. It's a sigh of relief after over exposure to corrupt greedy, Hippocrates, all accusing each other of what they're doing. Thank you for being that guiding light back decency.
What is so bad for me right now is how much like the narc I got. Maybe I stopped picking up on his behavior and started going the other way before I got just downright corrupt!! But his mean behavior is only toward me and still sly and sneaking. Covert! The remorse I am feeling is so bad and I hope I can remember how bad it feels to know I hurt people and do not wish to to ever be mean again! My boundaries have always been so messed up. This is a lot to learn for a woman in her early 70's! 🙃😍
Keep moving in the right direction and make amends with people you want to keep in your life. Sluff off the acquired self and bring back the you you used to be. Ask God to forgive you, then forgive yourself for your failures. Be healthy and gain healthy friends. You can do it! Start today!
Thank-you, Dr. Carter. This podcast has been very helpful. I had no idea that narcissists make choices to become dark and to slide into immoral choices and behavior. I was clueless - absolutely clueless.
I have seen this happen when a person I loved became obsessed with a relationship. She was willing to do anything to snare this person, even illegal and immoral actions. I was shocked. I would never have believed the lengths she was willing to go to till I saw her in action. Then this kind of activity started bleeding over into other areas of her life. What a disappointment and heartache.
When my late mum married my dad the Jesuit priest warned mum not to marry into this family & stated they were very bad Catholics’ . My dad was all about impression like where we lived. He died when I was a young adult, my younger brother took over. He is very corrupt, has used his corrupt lawyers to make a fake Will. I long to live in peace when I’m vindicated to the corrupt individuals that enabled this nightmare. I have become stoic and don’t care what happens to them.
Today was a very challenging day, having to contend with my narcissistic wife. She affected me both mentally and spiritually; not to mention sexually as sex is what she continues to withhold from me after 25 years of marriage. I hope you understand how grateful I am for you. Goddess Bless you Always and Blessed Be ✨️
I wrestle with this...I want to be someone that stands for goodness & true to myself, but I'm having a hard time in dealing with my anger & resentment and most of all being honest with myself...letting go of my hatred towards people who have hurt me. I wasn't like this before the NA. I so want to be someone you always talk about Dr. C. And I'm trying. Thank you for this video. I'll be re-watching it a few times.
I deal with the same thing...50 years, and I find myself with no patience and getting bitter and resentful because I was hoping for so much better for my kids and myself...they just don't seem to have the capacity to feel anything good...
🙂 Brilliant on a couple levels! ❤ I'm sure a variety of people will find this video very helpful. Yes, the corruption was a problem. It's a good word to add to my concept of the narcissist and worthy of reflection. I've found psychological competence to be a problem with all or nearly all of my husband's siblings. It seems to be present to differing degrees in each. They'll keep me busy. Thank you, as always, for all the help. I love your matching arm chairs and the new "title pages" you're having done for your videos. Very nice. I'm very happy for you. Stay safe.
Dr Les need help finding treatment. I spent a year with a Malignant Female narcissist. Didn’t figure it out till discard. I’m in Amarillo and when I reach out to talk to a professional about Narcissistic Abuse they say “Oh that’s just for women!” I’m also trying to get law enforcement to believe me cause she’s trafficking children. I think she’s grooming and specializing her own grandkids. I need help! Please.
Help, the Lord, don't do dum ass, bliss, I'm proud for the Lord, to take me down and dirty, my free will my choice, hec the Lord can do miracles, I have had his presence every second, pay them back Lord, man, I'm corrupt, this community will help, go team healthy, go dear Lord, help my narcissist, they hurt too, feed me to the dogs, hec, my disfuction rules, I'm hear getting help,
Thank You Dr. Carter, I always appreciate & love watching your videos! I have a big feeling of relief, calm and peace! God Bless You! Wishing You and Your Family a Happy, Safe, Wonderful New Year!❤️🙏🏻
I am currently extracting myself from a toxic marriage after 26 years. How do you protect teen kids when Co parenting? My daughter is being used as emotional supply now I'm no longer around, and my son is picking up more and more unhealthy reactive attitudes from his dad. They also both feel that they have to help him and take care of him, because he can't handle them/a household. We are currently bird nesting, so the kids stay in the family home and the parents switch every week. As a consequence I still cover for him and I still pull most of the weight. I make sure the fridge is filled and the clothes are washed before I leave, in an attempt to give my kids more stability when I'm not there. I still feel used, as he does the bare minimum before he leaves. I want out of the bird nesting, but of course he doesn't, as this fits his image of a good parent that still gets along with his ex, even though he's already building up a relationship with his new partner (with whom he had an affair for 11 months, but nobody knows that), again, I'm covering for him for the sake of some peace, and because I want to avoid our kids having to choose sides). I know I allowed things to get this far, and I know I am still acting as a peacemaker. I have no more self belief, I am in a hypervigilant state every time he's around, and I often feel completely paranoid after a conversation with him. I keep trying to make him 'understand', I keep hoping he is willing but unable to change. I want to remain true to my own values of respect, care and believing in the good of people, but I am worried I am not showing my kids how to stand up for themselves and what healthy, responsible adults look like.
My parents divorced when I was 12. Both remarried and I'm sure thought it would be smooth sailing ahead with new partners. The drama that ensued from those second marriages haunts me to this day. It was much worse than anything that happened betŵeen my real parents. My guess is your husband will find himself in a similar predicament.
@@Hatbox948I think so too. So either I use this time to extricate myself as much as possible to build a stable home for my kids independently, or I continue the birdnesting in order to protect the children more from his future instability, but at the cost of my own independence and emotional freedom. I still don't know what would be best for my kids.
My kids grew up, he tired of dealing with the pretense of the “family man” and ran off two hours away with wife #4 when they were 12 and 14. He swooped back in when they were in their late 20s and now they have their eyes open. I did everything to protect them and it paid off. I would keep status quo and he will tire of it when the latest supply leaves and he is off to another. (The one he’s involved with will tire of him soon) Trust me, most women don’t want to be having someone else’s chicks in their nest. That’s my opinion. Stay focused on being the stable one for the kids. “May the odds be ever in your favor.”
This was pure gold DR Le's, Thank you so much for this, You're genuinely a good guy, I have utmost respect for you, I liked a comment , A self confident and healthy Person does not seek power and control over others :-) That's right, Peace, love and respect to you, Gus and all, Thank you universe, All glory praise and smiles to the most high :-) :-) :-) Smile for miles :-)
Corruption creeps in when the sell their soul to the devil...and with each person who let's the narcissist's "quirks" go and gives them the benefit of the doubt. A good friend is one who helps keep you between the lines and with actual narcissists, they discard those people who show that they really love them by trying to straighten them out. They are doomed. 2 COR 10:5.
They don't like that . They don't like being held accountable..so they will find someone else to help them do their dirty deeds..they don't like people who can't be corrupted..
He says nature is about 40 percent & nurture is the greater part of it @ 60… temperament is heritable but environment forms this tendency into a solid personality disorder. I don’t believe science can explain it as well as clinical observation. So many psychopaths are oldest or only sons who were parentified by mother or never had a healthy caretaker at all
Can you please make a video of the narcissist changing into a demonic creature right before your eyes? I had this happen to me. I was on the receiving end of a rage fit from my ex. She was screaming at me so bad that I couldn't believe it. Her eyes turned completely black, and her face morphed into a demonic being. I know I did NOT imagine this. Has anyone else ever seen this? 007
I think i can relate, i just remember one specific time where my ex was raging out over lord knows what but her face became soooo damn ugly. Eyes dark and face all the way screwed up. Ugliest thing i've ever witnessed
Yes, I've seen the black eyes!!! I had someone with me & they saw them as well. We just looked at each other in disbelief. It was very, very scary!!! I'm just glad I had a witness & wasn't alone. 😭
@@MarianneCatherine Hi. Thank you all for the validation of this phenomenon. I know I was not hallucinating. This woman turned into a demonic being before my eyes. Physical matter actually changed in real time as I looked at her in a rage fit from hell. I hope more people will come forth and bring awareness to this phenomenon. It needs to be brought into the light. Narcissists are demons IMO. 007
I have seen it too, with my soon to be ex-husband. Except he wasn’t raging, he was smirking at what I was saying, and his eyes were pinpoint, like pure hatred towards me. I was in a lot of pain as he had become sadistic, and I felt in my bones, he was enjoying watching me crumble. We were sitting across the couch from each other and all of a sudden it’s like the lights were turned down, and I saw a huge black shadow over him. I got so startled I said aloud “what is happening right now, there’s a dark shadow over you”! I will never forget it until the day I die.
Yes, they are dishonest & very corrupt. I have an older sister who has broken the law at least twice. Not minor infractions either. They are as corrupt as the day is long, because they always have an attitude that everyone owes them or they are entitled to take what they want. For whatever twisted reason. 😉
Much food for thought and... many flashbacks of my different ages in relation with my family and with people outside the family... all mixed with the narcissistic parents toxic upbringing and their wrong ways to interpret the world... affecting me. A mess. As for me I saw wonderful people everywhere. As for them, they saw bad people everywhere and yet those people were everyone better than me, of course 🤔 ... (I was in the scapegoat role). So, the two visions went along well, at the end... Someway. And yet, I couldn't trust anyone (to obey my narcissistic family) ... And yet, each and every person was like a miracle for me: I felt it very deeply... And it's still true for me. Today I can deduce the great confusion in my developmental age. Today I can understand my insecurity interacting with the world. Today I have some issue to put together a person-miracle who becomes narcissistic. The corruption topic? Very complex. It was a constant contradiction that I tried to understand by analyzing the facts again and again. Over-thinking and so on. Hundreds of contradictions. Painful contradictions. In many situations I didn't know what to do. In many cases I was like paralyzed. In other cases I realized I did the wrong thing but I couldn't find the alternative. All became clear only when I heard dr Ramani describing my narcissists to a T. [ as you know she was the very first I stumbled on the N topic ] Every video was a dang - dang - dang - dang. All the pieces of the puzzle went in the right place. For the record, after a few hours with dr Ramani's videos I began to fall asleep like never before in my life. However, I was right -> so many persons are true miracles. We have another one great miracle in the video above 😁
@@lishmahlishmah Hi Lishmah, it's Roxy again 😉 Sounds very familiar to me what you are describing...overthinking I did extremely from age 15...before that age my brain was much too "rusty" - to speak in terms of Mr Chesterton...Unfortunately I have so many gaps in memory...But I have many intense and repetitive flashbacks - starting from age 1, which is very unusual, I guess but also not that unusual when you have been deeply traumatized right from the start... Long story short, the miracle you are talking about can also be YOU YOURSELF - having survived all of the confusing upbringing in toxic surroundings. Personally I can say that I only survived because of God's protecting hand over me, which is also a miracle. 🙏😇🙏
Roxy Yep! I think so, especially for survivors of malignant narcissistic parent/s. These kind of "parents" are not only negletful, they often have sadistic traits too. For example, if the little child need a doctor urgently... they don't care so much. So, this is just one of the reasons why being alive for us is "a miracle in the miracle" . I agree that, as every unique human being, I'm a miracle, too. It was VERY difficult to say it about me... because of the family upbringing without loving eyes on me. (and even now... the reality is, what can ever do a miracle alone? Self-praising all day? 😄 . You see, this is not about humility. This is about reality !! ) At the end of the day, narcissists reject both themselves as miracles and any other people they have around. In my opinion, even their golden child is not a miracle for them.
@lishmahlishmah From previous comments I've read from you - as well as in this one again - you often mention that your parents did not care about your health. That is indeed quite common in these kind of toxic families!!! Although I have had several very bad car accidents as a little child, nobody in my family cared that I got even examined - and I did not. That really leaves a toll on you because you then start thinking your life is not worthy at all! The "price" for me is that I have lots of difficulties seeing and trusting a doctor in adult life because I think they are not able to take me seriously. You once mentioned in another comment, that you did not experience physical violation, but "only" emotional abuse. I've experienced both but the emotional component goes much deeper - and is not visible for others. A visible wound may heal and you can recognize it but emotional wounds are most of the time much more complex and therefore much more complicated to heal. I agree, self-praising is not a solution but self-acceptance is a step in a healthy direction. And yes, Narcs reject life - and life in itself is a miracle!
Dr. C, I thought this was all very well stated, but it's also totally secular, and uses a lot of counselor speak. In other words, do people really sit around and ask themselves these questions? For me, I would say that my goal has always been to speak and behave in a Godly way, rather than in an evil way. There's undeniable ultimate forces of Good and Evil in our world which originate either with God, or with the devil. God's Holy Spirit is real, his Angels and Archangels are real, and demon spirits (fallen angels and archangels) are real. We all have the choice to choose good or evil.
Please listen to: Reviewing the situation By: Jonathan pryce Re- performed from original movie “Oliver Twist”. If a narcissist sang. Also performed by: Ron Moody.
I was married to a narcissist for 20 years, and over those years I watched that person become more and more sadistic. Finally, that person divorced me with the belief they were hurting me. It was the biggest favor anyone ever has done for me. It saved my life. I feel for those in that place.
Towards the last two years of my former marriage, I wasn't prepared for the sadistic behavior. It was awful.
Same happened to me last February- 18 yrs, just finished building our dream house. He knew he was lucky to have me bc he knows I should have left him a long time ago. How brilliantly sadistic!!! When no one would talk to him due to his addiction, not even his parents, I stood by his side and defended him. When one of his flavors of the month became a useful tool, he easily convinced himself that it was indeed himself who was the victim of abuse from me, I was the cause of all his failures and had done nothing bt drag him down and he convinced himself he was capable of feelings for the new place holder and could find his bravery by hiding behind her so he could attack me. It didn’t take as long to get over him as i would have thought and I feel like I’m in my 30’s while I head towards 60. Im buying a houseboat to live aboard year round with my two faithful rescue pittie best friends.
Wow! I got married to a dark tetrad covert narcissist for only 3 months, but didn't know what his love- bombing was, and later, his horrible changes in Behavior. So I gently but persistently questioned him, standing up for myself, since none of it made any sense to me-- and paid a dear price, as he escalated his crazymaking and verbal abuse rapidly to frightening me with knives and guns and physically abusing me. I don't have time for the whole story, but basically, he straight-up lied about a very important subject (in front of me and another person), that I later obtained a photo and written proof of, so he could not deny it. It was going to cost him dearly in his social life. So in an attempt to put the focus on me, he told a bunch of Lies and kicked me out of the house and filed for an annulment, thinking that would implicate me and hurt me socially. It was so sad to watch our friends and fellow churchgoers who knew me well find out who he really is... OOPS! And Likewise, it was the best gift he could have given me. I packed up and moved far away, and I didn't have to answer to anyone at church about leaving him. I didn't even have to fight him in court about anything, since it was an annulment. Evil people may work their devilment, but God is good and works all things for good to those who love Him. Romans 8:28
@@charlottewenzel2005Sounds like you got out with some financial means to help you move forward. A houseboat sounds lovely! God bless you and your pitties!
Corrupt people seek power and control though secrets, deception and manipulation. I don't want to have anything to do wth such individuals. Dignity, respect, civility, love, honesty, joy and peace are my guiding stars! Thank you for your invaluable help and support dr Carter.
A few friends and I wondered why a narcissist we knew would choose to do something wrong when doing the right thing would just be so much easier.
They are way more committed to drama & chaos & covering their lies with more of the same than they are to your priorities. Just think about it.
Probably to get revenge
They enjoy it
Narc Boss always weaves a lie into every interchange, no matter how ridiculous & unnecessary. My superb acting ability is my best asset in this workplace.
This is so true. I've been married to a narcissist for three decades, and he has gotten more and more corrupt over the years. He is downright sadistic at this point.
@@annjohnson8437 I could have written this. I’m in the process of divorcing the most malignant human being I’ve ever known. We were together for 30 years and he became almost sociopathic.
I’m in the process of getting of my husband of 40 years .I couldn’t quite put my finger on what was going on till I started to listen to these videos. It all became clear , I had never heard of a narcissist, didn’t know what gaslighting was or what manipulation was . I now understand everything, oh yea ,constant cheating and denying it when I found proof . Now I’m getting rid of him and making him sell the house . I’m obviously nervous about going it alone after all these years but nothing could be any worse then staying . He’s 70 now so I told him he wasn’t ageing gracefully and he’s losing the best supply he ever had 😂😂😂😂. The look on his face was priceless.
@@birdmcfarland✔️
@leonasweny1525
Good for you! I just cut off the supply and am staying for financial and other reasons.
Totally get it! Going through the same.
The Narcissist believes that....Being SUPERIOR is way far more important than being caring....Where am I? My goodness is my wisdom..I CARE....Thanks, Dr. C.
Team Healthy is the only way to go.
I watched as more and more people began to distance themselves from my N-ex. Some were driven away, some fled.
It took me decades to see through his superficial persona because my ex-friend looked charming and everyone liked him. I felt something was wrong with him when he often disrespected my boundaries. After that, I remembered his first spouse ran away from home. 🏃♀💨🏠
Finally, I phased out the friendship with him and went no contact with people around him. 📵
That cleansing of what no longer serves us yields the sweetest fruit!
Such a great share, yukio_saito. TYSM! 🧡 🙏🏻
💎 12:05♦️ “I don’t want to be associated with anyone who’s living in a cesspool.”
Another gem, Dr C ☀️ 🙏 😊
First comment l've made in almost three years. Currently living and swimming through hate groups and jabbersizers (narcissistic people) that traffic me and hold me down every single day. They destroyed my life on purpose. They follow me around and keep me from being secure. It's a process to find your way through it. Good things are on the way for me, because I can and do, do the work. I still don't have all the pieces of who, how and why... as that's the gig in a nutshell, so they can cover up what they do to people. But I have enough proof for sure. I can't thank you enough Dr.C. The only way that I could have gotten to the other side and made it through emotionally is your videos. Only safe outlet I had. I hope maybe one day I might actually be able to tell you about it more. I appreciate you and the work you do. It's hard to trust people, and I trust you. You'll never know what that means to someone that's been picked to fall. "But still, I rise." :) My life is mine, and not for toxic people to run all over. Thank you!!
Please know I'm pulling for you. Thanks for sharing this.
Dr Les Carter is correct that a narcissistic person will reappear to create new fear. They also seem to use holidays or anniversary dates for past events.
Bullseye 🎯
Yup 👍 any holiday or birthday or celebration is fair game for narcissism to emerge & extract revenge because that’s supply
When they seem to be transformative in public by hiding their true selves, they gain power and control.
A self-confident and healthy person does not want and does not need power over others. And when they are in charge in a position of power, they will not abuse their power because they know: The group is as strong as its weakest member and therefore the weakest has to be supported the most.
Hey! Are you quoting / paraphrasing Chesterton (in your last sentence) ?
I love that view he stated when he explained why Jesus chose Peter
@lishmahlishmah Hi Lishmah, no, I was not intentionally quoting someone else but in fact, the Bible already gives the answer to this content by saying that the body already suffers when just one piece of the body, for example a finger or a toe is suffering, the whole body will be suffering. You then get aware that everything/everyone is connected to each other and that the suffering member belongs to the whole body as an unity.
Roxy
TH-cam comments sections really bad working lately.
I've just seen, by random case, one reply you sent to me in a past video.. But I had NO notification at all 🥴
[re-sending the quote]
@roxymovie3938
“For no chain is stronger than its weakest link.”
-G.K Chesterton
@@lishmahlishmah Thanks, Lishmah - although I have never ever read something of him 😉
I was in a relationship with a narc some years ago, and unfortunately it rubbed off onto me. I had to lie to people at times to cover up situations, and keep the peace. I also became un reliable. They were both things which were not my character.
I’m going thru that right now. I’ve always been early for every appt or engagement in my life. My husband makes me late by waiting until the last minute to ask me to do something that has to be done before I leave. Or calling me with some emergency shortly after I’ve arrived at my appt. He’s constantly worried that I’m not speaking highly of him to anyone, my family especially. But he posts horrific stuff on Facebook for all of them to see. I’m done covering up for him. I need my family to know what I’m dealing with so, if the time comes for me to need a ‘safe space’ they’ll be ready. I’m working towards leaving, but it’s a process.
I could not comprehend how my older sister turned into such a twisted, corrupt person … Great comfort in hearing it happens in families because I’ve never seen a situation like this and it sure doesn’t reflect the way the family was raised (faults and all!!). As always, thank you and bless you for your wonderful, caring work. You are very appreciated!! 😘❤️
When you find out what the narcissist is doing on the sly, the whole story is one hundred times worse. I remind myself that behaving well shows my love for God-as I plan my escape.
I admire how well you word the things I'm encountering Dr.C
I was surprised to find he was a liar as well as a thief… but then, thieves don’t break into an empty home! Narcs look for someone to loot & they’ll destroy you in the process of enriching themselves. Qualities such as decency, honesty & loyalty simply don’t pay
Thank you so much Dr.C and Gus and Team Healthy! It was such a shock when I looked at my husband and realized that he was corrupt, words can't describe how bad or extreme that is.
It’s so scary isn’t it? Nobody would believe what I know about him. But he’s starting to enlighten them on his death spiral now
Corruption occurs when many of a narcissist is a multimillionaire and regardless of their nasty behavior the " family" kicks the honest one to the curb. Or down the stairs. 😢
Dr C, this was a difficult topic indeed. You have that je ne sais quoi in your delivery. Its not triggering, its enlightening. I am so very grateful you do what you do and that I had the great good fortune to find your channel. Being a part of your incredible community is essential in my week! Continued and Greater Blessings, Dr C, always! 🧡
Over three years on his team & he’s still the voice of sanity in my confused brain 😉
Thanks so much, Bara
That corruption can spill into others' lives also. People who stay with the deeply corrupt, they themselves become corrupt over time. It's ever so pernicious and seeps into the person who protects, justifies and believes the corrupted one. I have seen someone hanging around a corrupt person for decades that become corrupt themselves to stay with that person. I've seen it.
Lately I feel like the corruption has taken over society and systems. I had to find a way to let it (corrupt feeling) go and focus on my individual goodness.
Took a break from Canadian politics to get right sized & grounded in priorities. Thank you Dr. Carter. It's a sigh of relief after over exposure to corrupt greedy, Hippocrates, all accusing each other of what they're doing. Thank you for being that guiding light back decency.
Politics is the stomping ground of narcissism
What is so bad for me right now is how much like the narc I got. Maybe I stopped picking up on his behavior and started going the other way before I got just downright corrupt!! But his mean behavior is only toward me and still sly and sneaking. Covert! The remorse I am feeling is so bad and I hope I can remember how bad it feels to know I hurt people and do not wish to to ever be mean again! My boundaries have always been so messed up. This is a lot to learn for a woman in her early 70's! 🙃😍
Keep moving in the right direction and make amends with people you want to keep in your life. Sluff off the acquired self and bring back the you you used to be. Ask God to forgive you, then forgive yourself for your failures. Be healthy and gain healthy friends. You can do it! Start today!
Thank-you, Dr. Carter. This podcast has been very helpful. I had no idea that narcissists make choices to become dark and to slide into immoral choices and behavior. I was clueless - absolutely clueless.
I have seen this happen when a person I loved became obsessed with a relationship. She was willing to do anything to snare this person, even illegal and immoral actions. I was shocked. I would never have believed the lengths she was willing to go to till I saw her in action. Then this kind of activity started bleeding over into other areas of her life. What a disappointment and heartache.
Dr. Carter is a wonderful teaching and again I can’t thank you enough! Happy 2025.
You're very welcome!
When my late mum married my dad the Jesuit priest warned mum not to marry into this family & stated they were very bad Catholics’ . My dad was all about impression like where we lived. He died when I was a young adult, my younger brother took over. He is very corrupt, has used his corrupt lawyers to make a fake Will. I long to live in peace when I’m vindicated to the corrupt individuals that enabled this nightmare.
I have become stoic and don’t care what happens to them.
Today was a very challenging day, having to contend with my narcissistic wife. She affected me both mentally and spiritually; not to mention sexually as sex is what she continues to withhold from me after 25 years of marriage. I hope you understand how grateful I am for you. Goddess Bless you Always and Blessed Be ✨️
I wrestle with this...I want to be someone that stands for goodness & true to myself, but I'm having a hard time in dealing with my anger & resentment and most of all being honest with myself...letting go of my hatred towards people who have hurt me. I wasn't like this before the NA. I so want to be someone you always talk about Dr. C. And I'm trying. Thank you for this video. I'll be re-watching it a few times.
Start with forgiving yourself 😉
@caroleminke6116 I don't know how.☹️
I deal with the same thing...50 years, and I find myself with no patience and getting bitter and resentful because I was hoping for so much better for my kids and myself...they just don't seem to have the capacity to feel anything good...
🙂 Brilliant on a couple levels! ❤ I'm sure a variety of people will find this video very helpful. Yes, the corruption was a problem. It's a good word to add to my concept of the narcissist and worthy of reflection. I've found psychological competence to be a problem with all or nearly all of my husband's siblings. It seems to be present to differing degrees in each. They'll keep me busy. Thank you, as always, for all the help.
I love your matching arm chairs and the new "title pages" you're having done for your videos. Very nice. I'm very happy for you. Stay safe.
I keep myself open to opportunities daily to help others!
Wow- you HAVE met My Dreadful Mother.
Dr.C despite a Corrupted birth place I maintained and reinforced a dignified self image and esteem so I can have a place on team healthy one day.
I’m so encouraged for you, Fred!
@ thank you Doc!
Dr Les need help finding treatment. I spent a year with a Malignant Female narcissist. Didn’t figure it out till discard. I’m in Amarillo and when I reach out to talk to a professional about Narcissistic Abuse they say “Oh that’s just for women!”
I’m also trying to get law enforcement to believe me cause she’s trafficking children. I think she’s grooming and specializing her own grandkids. I need help! Please.
Help, the Lord, don't do dum ass, bliss, I'm proud for the Lord, to take me down and dirty, my free will my choice, hec the Lord can do miracles, I have had his presence every second, pay them back Lord, man, I'm corrupt, this community will help, go team healthy, go dear Lord, help my narcissist, they hurt too, feed me to the dogs, hec, my disfuction rules, I'm hear getting help,
Hope and pray that you get help for you and children 🙏 ❤️
Sounds like you need to alert the police.
Thank You Dr. Carter, I always appreciate & love watching your videos! I have a big feeling of relief, calm and peace! God Bless You! Wishing You and Your Family a Happy, Safe, Wonderful New Year!❤️🙏🏻
I am currently extracting myself from a toxic marriage after 26 years. How do you protect teen kids when Co parenting? My daughter is being used as emotional supply now I'm no longer around, and my son is picking up more and more unhealthy reactive attitudes from his dad. They also both feel that they have to help him and take care of him, because he can't handle them/a household. We are currently bird nesting, so the kids stay in the family home and the parents switch every week.
As a consequence I still cover for him and I still pull most of the weight. I make sure the fridge is filled and the clothes are washed before I leave, in an attempt to give my kids more stability when I'm not there. I still feel used, as he does the bare minimum before he leaves.
I want out of the bird nesting, but of course he doesn't, as this fits his image of a good parent that still gets along with his ex, even though he's already building up a relationship with his new partner (with whom he had an affair for 11 months, but nobody knows that), again, I'm covering for him for the sake of some peace, and because I want to avoid our kids having to choose sides).
I know I allowed things to get this far, and I know I am still acting as a peacemaker. I have no more self belief, I am in a hypervigilant state every time he's around, and I often feel completely paranoid after a conversation with him. I keep trying to make him 'understand', I keep hoping he is willing but unable to change. I want to remain true to my own values of respect, care and believing in the good of people, but I am worried I am not showing my kids how to stand up for themselves and what healthy, responsible adults look like.
My parents divorced when I was 12. Both remarried and I'm sure thought it would be smooth sailing ahead with new partners. The drama that ensued from those second marriages haunts me to this day. It was much worse than anything that happened betŵeen my real parents. My guess is your husband will find himself in a similar predicament.
@@Hatbox948I think so too. So either I use this time to extricate myself as much as possible to build a stable home for my kids independently, or I continue the birdnesting in order to protect the children more from his future instability, but at the cost of my own independence and emotional freedom. I still don't know what would be best for my kids.
Just live in it, your kids have this knowledge on don't match pitch ugly,
My kids grew up, he tired of dealing with the pretense of the “family man” and ran off two hours away with wife #4 when they were 12 and 14. He swooped back in when they were in their late 20s and now they have their eyes open. I did everything to protect them and it paid off. I would keep status quo and he will tire of it when the latest supply leaves and he is off to another. (The one he’s involved with will tire of him soon) Trust me, most women don’t want to be having someone else’s chicks in their nest. That’s my opinion. Stay focused on being the stable one for the kids. “May the odds be ever in your favor.”
Happy New Year Doc and Gus🎉
This was pure gold DR Le's, Thank you so much for this, You're genuinely a good guy, I have utmost respect for you, I liked a comment , A self confident and healthy Person does not seek power and control over others :-) That's right, Peace, love and respect to you, Gus and all, Thank you universe, All glory praise and smiles to the most high :-) :-) :-) Smile for miles :-)
Corruption creeps in when the sell their soul to the devil...and with each person who let's the narcissist's "quirks" go and gives them the benefit of the doubt. A good friend is one who helps keep you between the lines and with actual narcissists, they discard those people who show that they really love them by trying to straighten them out. They are doomed. 2 COR 10:5.
They don't like that . They don't like being held accountable..so they will find someone else to help them do their dirty deeds..they don't like people who can't be corrupted..
Another great video 👏👏👏 thank you Dr. Carter 🙏
These videos really help.. I still struggle to understand corrupt people..
Sorry if this topic was touched upon already, but is there a neurodivergent aspect to the narcissist’s neural framework?
He says nature is about 40 percent & nurture is the greater part of it @ 60… temperament is heritable but environment forms this tendency into a solid personality disorder. I don’t believe science can explain it as well as clinical observation. So many psychopaths are oldest or only sons who were parentified by mother or never had a healthy caretaker at all
Can you please make a video of the narcissist changing into a demonic creature right before your eyes?
I had this happen to me. I was on the receiving end of a rage fit from my ex. She was screaming at me so bad that I couldn't believe it. Her eyes turned completely black, and her face morphed into a demonic being. I know I did NOT imagine this.
Has anyone else ever seen this?
007
I think i can relate, i just remember one specific time where my ex was raging out over lord knows what but her face became soooo damn ugly. Eyes dark and face all the way screwed up. Ugliest thing i've ever witnessed
Yes, I've seen the black eyes!!! I had someone with me & they saw them as well. We just looked at each other in disbelief. It was very, very scary!!! I'm just glad I had a witness & wasn't alone. 😭
@@MarianneCatherine Hi. Thank you all for the validation of this phenomenon. I know I was not hallucinating. This woman turned into a demonic being before my eyes. Physical matter actually changed in real time as I looked at her in a rage fit from hell.
I hope more people will come forth and bring awareness to this phenomenon. It needs to be brought into the light. Narcissists are demons IMO.
007
I have seen it too, with my soon to be ex-husband. Except he wasn’t raging, he was smirking at what I was saying, and his eyes were pinpoint, like pure hatred towards me.
I was in a lot of pain as he had become sadistic, and I felt in my bones, he was enjoying watching me crumble. We were sitting across the couch from each other and all of a sudden it’s like the lights were turned down, and I saw a huge black shadow over him. I got so startled I said aloud “what is happening right now, there’s a dark shadow over you”! I will never forget it until the day I die.
Yes, they are dishonest & very corrupt. I have an older sister who has broken the law at least twice. Not minor infractions either. They are as corrupt as the day is long, because they always have an attitude that everyone owes them or they are entitled to take what they want. For whatever twisted reason. 😉
How? Because they are walking, talking liars
Thank you
Much food for thought and... many flashbacks of my different ages in relation with my family and with people outside the family... all mixed with the narcissistic parents toxic upbringing and their wrong ways to interpret the world... affecting me. A mess. As for me I saw wonderful people everywhere. As for them, they saw bad people everywhere and yet those people were everyone better than me, of course 🤔 ... (I was in the scapegoat role).
So, the two visions went along well, at the end... Someway.
And yet, I couldn't trust anyone (to obey my narcissistic family) ... And yet, each and every person was like a miracle for me: I felt it very deeply... And it's still true for me.
Today I can deduce the great confusion in my developmental age. Today I can understand my insecurity interacting with the world.
Today I have some issue to put together a person-miracle who becomes narcissistic.
The corruption topic?
Very complex.
It was a constant contradiction that I tried to understand by analyzing the facts again and again. Over-thinking and so on. Hundreds of contradictions. Painful contradictions. In many situations I didn't know what to do. In many cases I was like paralyzed. In other cases I realized I did the wrong thing but I couldn't find the alternative.
All became clear only when I heard dr Ramani describing my narcissists to a T.
[ as you know she was the very first I stumbled on the N topic ]
Every video was a dang - dang - dang - dang.
All the pieces of the puzzle went in the right place.
For the record, after a few hours with dr Ramani's videos I began to fall asleep like never before in my life.
However, I was right
-> so many persons are true miracles.
We have another one great miracle in the video above 😁
@@lishmahlishmah Hi Lishmah, it's Roxy again 😉
Sounds very familiar to me what you are describing...overthinking I did extremely from age 15...before that age my brain was much too "rusty" - to speak in terms of Mr Chesterton...Unfortunately I have so many gaps in memory...But I have many intense and repetitive flashbacks - starting from age 1, which is very unusual, I guess but also not that unusual when you have been deeply traumatized right from the start...
Long story short, the miracle you are talking about can also be YOU YOURSELF - having survived all of the confusing upbringing in toxic surroundings.
Personally I can say that I only survived because of God's protecting hand over me, which is also a miracle. 🙏😇🙏
Roxy
Yep! I think so, especially for
survivors of malignant narcissistic parent/s.
These kind of "parents" are not only negletful, they often have sadistic traits too.
For example, if the little child need a doctor urgently... they don't care so much.
So, this is just one of the reasons why being alive for us is "a miracle in the miracle" .
I agree that, as every unique human being, I'm a miracle, too. It was VERY difficult to say it about me... because of the family upbringing without loving eyes on me.
(and even now... the reality is, what can ever do a miracle alone? Self-praising all day? 😄 . You see, this is not about humility. This is about reality !! )
At the end of the day, narcissists reject both themselves as miracles and any other people they have around. In my opinion, even their golden child is not a miracle for them.
@lishmahlishmah From previous comments I've read from you - as well as in this one again - you often mention that your parents did not care about your health. That is indeed quite common in these kind of toxic families!!! Although I have had several very bad car accidents as a little child, nobody in my family cared that I got even examined - and I did not. That really leaves a toll on you because you then start thinking your life is not worthy at all! The "price" for me is that I have lots of difficulties seeing and trusting a doctor in adult life because I think they are not able to take me seriously.
You once mentioned in another comment, that you did not experience physical violation, but "only" emotional abuse. I've experienced both but the emotional component goes much deeper - and is not visible for others. A visible wound may heal and you can recognize it but emotional wounds are most of the time much more complex and therefore much more complicated to heal.
I agree, self-praising is not a solution but self-acceptance is a step in a healthy direction.
And yes, Narcs reject life - and life in itself is a miracle!
Yes 👍 the narc I know quit his job and sold his car to join his “friends” in a multi state drug trafficking operation 😢
Dr. C, I thought this was all very well stated, but it's also totally secular, and uses a lot of counselor speak. In other words, do people really sit around and ask themselves these questions? For me, I would say that my goal has always been to speak and behave in a Godly way, rather than in an evil way. There's undeniable ultimate forces of Good and Evil in our world which originate either with God, or with the devil. God's Holy Spirit is real, his Angels and Archangels are real, and demon spirits (fallen angels and archangels) are real. We all have the choice to choose good or evil.
I had to ask these very adult questions of myself by the age of six. I decided I wasn't going to be like my father.
Edmonton Canada lots of snow
Anyone else in a snow storm?😊
No just rain...wa coast!!!
Not til the end of the week in the Midwest.
Got an inch or so here in Pennsylvania (S Central, near Hershey), expecting more later.
Mid Atlantic, yes.
It snowed 3 inches here
Hec, my community is still here, 6 years of experience, thanks for the like button,
Yup 👍 3 plus!
I'm ruined by them
We're see it play out
Please listen to:
Reviewing the situation
By: Jonathan pryce
Re- performed from original movie
“Oliver Twist”.
If a narcissist sang.
Also performed by:
Ron Moody.
I'm familiar with that song. My wife, Jennifer, was a choral director for years in public school, and she loves musicals. Oliver Twist is a classic.
Long distance narcissist defense can include slingshots 😅
are narsessist drawing to all for of Corruption
Working with better help in 2025 really hurts your credibility tbh
💐