Imposter syndrome in creative talented people sometimes comes from a specific phenomenon that can be summed up in one simple statement: Doing things that feel ordinary to you, can appear extraordinary to other people. You don't feel particularly special or gifted, so you imagine those people are overestimating your capability which makes you feel like a fraud, an imposter getting praise and opportunities that are undeserved. When you sometimes see other people doing things that you can't imagine yourself capable of, remember that there are times when others have that same awe in what YOU are doing.
As a woodworker specifically. There’s an additional aspect to the argument in general. As the creator you know where every flaw and mistake is hidden and buried. You know they’re there and the piece feels less than complete. Anyone else will never find them. But that nagging fear that they will remains
I build balsa model airplanes and I often hear this from others if I show one to them. "I couldn't do that. I don't have the patience." I do have the patience and have had since I was a little kid, so it has never seemed extraordinary to me. Apparently it is to many.
On the imposter syndrome, the sobering moment for me was at one of my previous companies' office party when a peer of mine (who I semi-seriously considered to be my arch enemy as he was doing the same job as I but so much better, focused and based; and on top of that was clearly better at hobbies we shared) got a bit intoxicated and went on a tirade on how he wishes he handled some situations as good as I did, how he's envious that I always appear so calm and on top of anything thrown at me, how I seem to have it 'all figured out'... I still can't shake off the feeling, but at least it gives me some bittersweet comfort to know that a lot of people who we consider successful suffer from the exact same condition.
It's been said that any good expert has some form of imposter syndrome as that is what drives them to do the things that make them an expert to begin with. If you feel like you have figured things out you will also not try to learn new things and improve. So some degree of imposter syndrome is even healthy in that regard.
@@creeschthis comment actually helped me. I used to tell myself that every morning when I fancied myself an expert in my field. Now it seems like I am too hyper aware of my short comings and unable to perform like I used to without feeling like I have my RPM’s on red.
For me it was when we had a team away day and had to write an anonymous compliment for someone else. The one i received was that I am always willing and able to help, I’ll either find the information or the person with the information and that really helped me realise that I actually do know what I’m talking about and that others appreciated my knowledge. Man did I carry a smile for the rest of that day and that note is still in my wallet some 7-8 years later.
Your observation that "all deadlines are artificial" reminds me of the great Steven Wright quote "Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time". Both of you are brilliant.
Speaking from my own personal experience, the toughest journey has been the long, long struggle with *crippling* impostor syndrome. It is very similar to the seven stages of grief, except played out over a lifetime, prefixed by "Why can't I..." Thankfully I am at "acceptance", which seems to be the the point at which the paralysis starts to melt away, when you no longer care about whether or not you can or cannot. The moment where you fell okay about letting go of the unanswerable and allow yourself to fall into a graceful state of doing. I am so grateful for the reassurance and reinforcement provided by marvels such as Adam's channel, which shine such lovely guiding lights in the murk.
I once went to a workshop at my university on imposter syndrome. It didn't really help though as they started by saying "You all have PhDs/ etc. You belong here, you've put in the work". Trouble is I failed university and got kicked out after 1½ years so I even felt like an imposter in the imposter syndrome workshop.
PhD is a joke anyway. Don't let others define you. PhD stands for Piled higher and deeper. Don't let someone with alphabet soup after their name downplay what you can do.
I didn't finish my degree as work "stole" me from uni. I always thought I'll go back and finish the bachelor's degree just for fun or so that I could take the interesting classes with prereqs, but it's been 9 years. I've joined uni during covid and even worked as a TA for a C programing class but I couldn't do the zoom thing and failed. I'm now too old to study without paying uni, and I'd rather save up 1000 euro for a house than pay 1000 euro to the uni per semester, especially since there were some classes of dubious quality.
@@MenkoDany Yep. Don't get me started on "higher education." Indoctrination is more like it. They won't teach you want you want, you have to take (and pay for) classes you don't want, to get a piece of paper that doesn't matter. I only have an associates degree from a technical college, and it hasn't held me back at all.
IMO advanced degrees are not useful outside the specialty subject. The higher the degree the less useful in ‘real life’. I’ve never seen a microbiologist unplug a drain.
@@TheSuzberry So the people who spend decades pursuing knowledge to do research on medicine, or disease, or new electronic technologies, or countless of other ways improve and contribute to are life are not doing useful things? I'm not one to bash on people doing manual labour or similar things - I wouldn't be able to (at least do a godo job of) plumb a sink. But hey, without people like me designing electronics and engineering them, you wouldn't be able to comment on this video in the first place.
Knowing that the first build is a prototype, and that the second will be far better and easier, is a key feeling to impart to any student. Thank you; I shall integrate that into the lessons I teach.
Adam, you might never see this, but I just wanted to say thank you. I’m not exactly a maker, but I am a creative. I’ve been struggling to get into voice acting for years. Everyone keeps telling me to just hang on- they have the talent and the skills. I just need to get that break. But this industry is so hard to get into. I see my peers succeeding where I fail, and can’t help but think that I’m just not good enough, or I don’t deserve to do this. Hearing you talk about how someone like you and other extremely successful people have struggled with those same feelings makes me feel human again. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
I love it when I get way more out of these videos than I expect. I expected good stuff. What I got was something amazing that I feel in my bones that resonates with whatever the deepest part of my mind can be called. Thought provoking and edifying.
In my first career employment, I was hired alongside a woman who I had gone to school with. A very sweet, nice woman, couldn't ask for a better human being. But I knew from school I was hands down going to be better at the job than she. After one of our first team meetings, being the new people without any connections with anybody else, we went to have hot chocolate together in the break room. Hoping that she was feeling the same thing, I mentioned to her that I hated going to the meetings because it was there that I felt that everyone was going to figure out that I shouldn't be here. She of course was blissfully unaware of any such thoughts and was totally confused by my admission. Leaving me feeling even more insecure than I had been about how long it was going to be before I was exposed as an imposter. After a while she moved on to a different position in the company, as everyone else did figure out that maybe she wasn't the right fit for that job. The moral of the story is that sometimes it is good to be blissfully unaware. On the other hand, if you are questioning if you should be there, you are probably smarter than the average person, as you are aware that you have shortcomings. And one can only solve a problem that one is unaware of by accident, and that rarely happens.
I'm a writer. Part of writing is knowing that the first draft will need to be reworked, repeatedly, to make it better. It's never perfect, but better than what I started with. To quote a program I belong to, progress not perfection.
Im 28 years old and have been struggling with imposter syndrome for the past 3 years so badly that I have been job hopping and failing miserably for the past two. I used to be indomitable, and after a few bad things happened I’ve developed Ptsd and a crippling Imposter Syndrome that has prevented me from doing most things, essentially only leaving the apartment when I have to and being filled with dread about it before and during. I love what you said about building things more than once. Like trying to cook a new dish, or trying to piece together a new variety of plate items that go well together. Once you do it the first time, you know what you should’ve done and what was good or not the next time you do that idea. Thanks for touching on this Adam!
Your comments on deadines and "on the clock" reminded me of a saying I heard someplace and adopted as a signature line for my email when I was a working person "If it weren't for the last moment, nothing would ever get finished"
Lately, I've been working through my fear of screwing something up, specifically so much so that I can't fix it and I feel like I've wasted time and resources. I've gotten to the point where I'm accepting that I'm going to screw it up regardless, so the question is whether it's worth doing anyway. I've been struggling with the answer "yes, it is worth doing."
Not only is it that someone discounts the value of their own experiences, they also don’t realize that the experiences that they have is ingrained in their being- making them who they presently are. Without that journey, they would be a different person. Recognizing the journey and the elements that form the person can mean so much.
As a guitarist, I often play songs by the greats like EVH, or Keith Richards. Some of my favorite songs to play are Brown Sugar, Honky-Tonk Women, and Love is Strong by the Rolling Stones, and also Runaround by Van Halen. I agree with your comment about a constant source of joy. It is a constant source of joy to me while I am playing those songs. There is a degree of imposter syndrome, but if you enjoy what you do and you are honest about it, then I don't think it really matters that you're copying something that already exists. That's true whether you are a musician, a maker, prop replicator, or just a general hobbyist. There's no shame in doing something you love.
It's weird that you're talking guitar on a video about imposter syndrome because guitarist Sophie Lloyd released an album called 'Impster Syndrome' about a month ago lol.
Your statement about being ready to build something you have not done before three times is profound. The first attempt is exploring the design space and stumbling to a conclusion. If it all works out, Bonus! If not, you have a map of the territory and can do a better job on subsequent trys. In this case the journey is just as important as destination because some (or many) of the false steps you make may turn out to be a key item in making your next project a success.
There's a weird documentary on William Gibson called No Maps For These Territories. He's sitting in the back of a limo talking about the future being both present and always within reach. Jumping into the interstitial is what creativity is all about.
Thank you Adam and Tested team for the time and words you devote to mental health so regularly! Adam's outlook and sharing of both stories and philosophies make it easier to tackle life's innumerable insertions of our own anxiety into daily functioning. :-D
God I love how he put the bit about spending time with your family. Just cause their family doesn't always mean it will be a good or easy time to be spending time with them
I am well respected amongst my peers, and i still feel like "i have no business being here doing what i am doing." I salve my conscience by knowing that i am there, because i CAN do it, and there's nobody else at the moment who CAN do it. So it's me or nothing.
I think impostor syndrome can be explained as everyone's natural progression along the Dunning-Kruger curve. Essentially, you've passed the initial confidence peak and are in a deep confidence trough because you've come to grips with knowing how much you don't know about your particular field. The solution is to remain humble and receptive to other perspectives and learning new things... and the restoration of your confidence will come with time.
Deadlines and boundaries... two of the most powerful driving forces in my creativity. I've often said that given any opportunity to sprawl, an artist will. Putting up limits, be they creative, material, or time-based, helps me focus and create a more complete image of whatever I'm trying to work on. I thrive the most when I have a border to bounce up against.
I greatly appreciate the insight into "comparison syndrome" in this manner; when we consider that someone else is doing better in a different discipline, we assume we went wrong. I worry often that I chose the wrong creative outlet because I see little success, however basing your creativity solely on success is a trap all should actively avoid. If you enjoy what you do, you're rich enough already. Love kindly, live fully, and do whatever you do because it pleases you!
Thank you so much for describing the process of building things twice! "Getting it into your body" really resonated for me on a level which had no description before you said those words. As a practicing engineer, we often build a Proof of Concept (POC) before building a thing "for real". But this is always classified as "risk reduction", which is a wholly unsatisfying description for my internal maker. "Getting it into your body" is so much accurate about how it actually feels for me. Thank you!!!
Another thing to remember about failure: It isn't really failure. You learned something through goofing up, now when you try it again you'll do better. Also re: Failure - With art, usually nobody knows what you were trying to accomplish in the first place so if you mess up a little bit, nobody will notice but you.
Adam, I have a big interview coming up next week, and of course, as a designer, I am always feeling a bit of an imposter. These were perfect words to hear today as I practice speaking through my portfolio case studies. Thank you so much.
Interesting idea around the 2nd build. I'm a musician, and I have a weird opposite feel when it comes to redoing something abstract. It always feels in trying to refine you lose something along the way
To me, your description of the prevalence of such feelings among people who shouldn't need them is a Good Thing. It is indicative of an innate HUMILITY that remains present even in the face of success. I have invariably found that the very best people retain a degree of humility or a humble kernel. The people who lack it have a tendency toward arrogance and all the problems that brings.
I really appreciate you thoughtful and careful answers to so many of these questions. Chasing wonder is a great way to look at many aspects of life...I think we need a Chasing Wonder T shirt!!!
I love your comment on the second time through a project. I tell all my students if they have to redo work, it will go quicker and the results will be much better. Hearing you say essentially that also helps with my impostor syndrome 😂
Imposter syndrome afflicts the humble. In my experience, my very favourite people to work with have absolutely NO idea how good they really are, nor do they choose to acknowledge their influence on their peers. I got this vibe from you, Adam, when you came to visit us in the workshops on Ghostbusters.
I thrive on deadlines. It's how I finally passed the drivers test in my 20s. Picked the first available test date, figuring I'd fail, but would know what to expect the next time. Much to everyone's surprise, I passed.
Iteration is extremely important and once you know that it helps keep the perfectionism at bay. Sure, attempt one was an utter failure, but attempt 5 is looking pretty close to what I envisioned perfect as.
Hi Adam, I grew up watching mythbusters, and being able to watch these videos makes me soo grateful that I've been able to follow you all these years. This is will probably go into the void, but I've got a different sort of imposter syndrome: I can't focus on work anymore. It's not a small problem, or only on the bad days, it's every day. Work has me doing programming, because I'm the only one who could do it, but I regularly experience what markiplier termed "sandpaper-like friction in my brain when I try to do something that has high executive function". Finding a bug in a complex piece of code that incorporates applications of physics? I could write out the steps to debug it, I can make checklists, I can find papers and read them, but I can't bring myself to work a problem like that, not like I used to, and not like my peers around me. Usually I keep a pretty good lid on it, but some days, like today, it gets out, and grieve the capacity I once had to relish in complex problems like this, and really sink my teeth into them and solve them. I have everything anyone could wish for to address my problem: money, time, supportive family, kind coworkers, generous work hours, good health insurance... all of it. I've tried diet, I've tried excercise, I've tired therapy many times, meditation, acupuncture... I don't even know what to try next. I guess this might not be a relevant question for you, in your line of work with lots of passionate people and hard workers, but have you ever met someone like me? Someone who pushes themself hard, but then has trauma or *something* happens, and suddenly their brain doesn't work like it used to? I'm not leaving this work anytime soon, but... I don't know. I'm not. I just don't know what to do. I lock up, and it's not something I can logic past or push through, and nothing makes a dent in it and no one else seems to grasp the enormity of the problem. Much love from Oregon. I actually hope you haven't met anyone like me, because this is hell, and I hope no one else is in this specific kind of hell.
I don't know if it would help you but magic mushrooms have done positive things to my mind. Maybe they could help you get through this. If you are not familiar with then I would recommend listening to people like Terrence Mckenna
I get imposter syndrome as a line cook. I have been one for close to 20 years. I am not even interested in cooking food outside of work or have much passion for it but i do the job pretty well. My boss hires people that love cooking and talk about their love of it and i always feel like those hires will wonder how i have a job cooking. Or feel like i shouldn't be one. It never happens but i can't shake that feeling.
On imposter syndrome, for me it happened when I started my graduate studies at Georgia Tech. I had a long and difficult path getting to that point. I felt as if there would be this moment that someone would realize that I wasn't supposed to be there and I would promptly be asked to leave. 6 courses later, I realized that there are people way smarter than me, but I am on my path, not theirs.
Becoming content is interesting path. Within my career/trade/hobby. I’ve got to that point, it’s taken me 35+ years to get there. I’ve acquired or accomplished the majority of things I’ve desired and no longer set deadlines for myself, as long as I move forward, I’m happy with my progress.
One of the common triggers of imposter syndrome is that when we have some level of talent or skill born out of an intrinsic interest and enthusiasm about something it tends to feel like nothing, it feels natural, normal, easy. Then we downplay our own abilities because we have this narrative that skill is always acquired through grit, determination, and hard work. You can see this kind of thing all the time in others, folks who are good at stuff make it look easy, and sometimes to them it just feels easy, natural, and obvious. A chef preparing food, an artist sketching something out with a few lines, a rock climber scaling a cliff face, they all make it look effortless so often. But everyone has something like that for themselves, something that feels easy because they are engaged with it so naturally that they put in the time to get better at it without it feeling like a chore, something that they have a level of skill at where it feels effortless and easy to do stuff that others boggle at.
Ooh, this is interesting to consider. Combining this with something I've noticed in my own life is that I tend to have a very strong attention to detail and putting things in order, which has resulted in coworkers commenting on how tidy things are after I've done them. To me, it seems like it should be trivial because I'm not putting a lot of effort into noticing such things, and in fact it can become irritating if I don't do something about them. But maybe to other people, they actually don't notice, or it doesn't bother them so they're a lot more likely to let it go, and that's a kind of natural predisposition I have.
In the world of sewing, the word for a first draft is a "mock up" it's meant to never be seen by other people, but is purely to have a test version before starting the real thing. Novices (myself included) often choose to skip over this step, as it is one of the more fun parts. In time the mock up becomes reversed for how it can elevate the final product.
Never let the quest for perfection get in the way of producing a sufficient solution for the need at hand. Perfect is often overkill at the expense of success.
The way I see it is if you're there you're meant to be there, even if you "aren't". Of course, I still get a form of imposter syndrome which is "am I really capable of this?" But I try to go into every situation feeling like it's where I'm meant to be, for my own sake (though it's not always easy). Whether I succeed or fail, whatever happens is what needed to happen. Then, when you fail, you look for the lesson in it (you can almost always find something), and you set yourself up to do better next time. Eventually you succeed. The important thing is just to never give up. I think a lot of people give up when they feel some form of imposter syndrome, but imposter syndrome is just anxiety (fear of failure or fear of making a fool of ones self). So just embrace it and try to roll with the punches; eventually you'll figure things out and get where you're going, wherever that is.
These are great, and I appreciate the topics and perspective, but I really appreciated the thought provoking and in depth nature of " Still Untitled " and "This is Only a Test" podcasts. I know that the same people would be hard to get together again, but the Tested team that we see each end of year doing the "My Favorite Thigs of the Year" would be a great pool of possible guest hosts to Join with Adam and Norm on an hour-long show of the sort. Would really appreciate it. I think it could be successful. There are so many less interesting individuals who are doing podcasts successfully.
The podcasts were really tricky to do - very time consuming, and the weekly cadence was a hardship. For now, live streams and Q&A will be the extent that we can produce. Sorry about that.
@@testedunderstood. The trend is shorter, with less effort involved and more bang for the buck. Soon, all content may be "shorts", which i dont find entertaining, and which i believe can be addictive and unhealthy. Im not complaining and I'm a definite fan of tested; im just letting you know that you're slowly moving away from my preferred content and format. If im in the minority then great, if there are more like me it could be worth considering.
I'm a reasonably creative sort who usually ends up HATING what I produce until years after I complete it (and sometimes still). I like the idea of going into the effort ASSUMING I'll repeat it. I've bludgeoned a lot of stuff into working in the first pass, but when I look at it afterwards, all I see is the mistakes. If I finally grumble and do it again, I always feel like I screwed up and now I've gotta fix it, which ends up seeming awfully depressing. Advantages of a "dry run": -You figure out what the RIGHT tools are to do the job before you destroy your materials -You understand what materials will work together well (e.g. no, you can't use wood glue to bond glass to cardboard) -You figure out where doing things badly/quickly will show (or hinder functionality) and where it won't The more complicated a thing is, the more dry runs you should consider. My wife is a "process knitter". She has no problems ripping things out when she makes mistakes or dislikes design decisions. She enjoys the process - but once she completes it, it is no longer interesting and she gives it away or it molders off in a closet somewhere. I think a compromise is in order.
Somehow this video was exactly what I needed to hear right now. I've been chasing wonder without knowing it for most of my life. And I'm going to keep chasing it for the rest of my life. Thanks, Adam.
Making something 2 or 3 times is something that always happens to me when I’m learning a new coding language/framework. I get to a point where I know it will suck if I keep going, so I’ll step back and start again, and the end result will always be better for it. Part of it is that I’ll start in a pretty naive state of mind, without understanding everything I need to understand, but I think it’s more important to start building than to read the manual.
working as a chef an creating tasty meals i too feel like a imposter at times like i dont know what i am doing and so on but each time i repeat making a dish i get better and better at it because i know what needs changing. i changed jobs from being in the resturants to a mess hall kitchen in the army and i thought i have no idea how to manage making wonderful and tasty meals to so many people at once but after three years there i finally feel comfy enough to do it.
Adam Pinewood you must know is one of the major Studio Complexes in England. Like the National Film & Television School in Beaconsfield which was old film studios.
Spot on Mike Masamino impersonation😊..Neil Armstrong's👨🏻🚀👩🏼🚀 imposter complex came about because Deke Sleyton 'head of the astronaut corp' had thought their chances of a successful landing on the first try was unlikely😮
Fred Brooks in The Mythical Man-Month mentioned a rule like "Plan to make it twice: you'll be doing that anyway." And another software rule (can't remember the source, maybe the same?): You're fully prepared to start a project just after you've finished.
You know, Adam, I just got hired at a new job and I’m sweating like never before. I can’t sleep and have that sense that there’s no way in the world this can go right despite everything I know.
Someone I used to work with often started numbering his project revisions from zero in order to bake in the fact that you always have to do at least one revision, even if it's minor changes. Then once you've accepted you're definitely doing at least one, well hey, what's a couple more after that right?
Honestly coming from manufacture automotive repair... Your build it 3 times makes perfect sense. In automotive repair the first time is a mess (sometimes). Second time you get it... The third time you make it your own and do it how you want knowing what you learned during the first 2 repairs. Fun fact: on a dealer level when you shortcut the repair procedure (while offering the perfect end result) you get paid more per job... until the factory finds out. Then the factory revises the repair procedure to mimic your procedure. End result... Techs are paid less for the same job. End rant haha
I think a lot of the imposter syndrome that I feel has to do with comparing where I am in my journey with were others are. When I look at people that are farther along it can feel like I will never get there. But we don't see the struggles they have overcome or the struggles that they are still working through.
When it comes to software development, I always prefer to build it twice at least. The first build is figuring everything out, the second build is fixing all my mistakes and refining things based on all that I've learned, and building the foundations for the next stage of the project.
"Be prepared to build it 3 times" honesty reminds me of the novel writing process. The first draft is usually figuring out how it all works and where pitfalls are inevitable, as my English teacher used to call it: our SFD (shitty first draft). All drafts that follow just refine your work futher and solve more problems. Be prepared to rewrite your book at least 3 times. It can be grueling but it's sooooo worth it.
I've been suffering from Imposter Syndrome. The only reason, why I am still unemployed. I feel like I could do it, I feel like I could land that job, but that hand keeps pulling me back down the hole. I hate myself because of that.
I believe a wise man once said that failure is always an option 😉 My main struggle with builds is a tendency to over-plan and try to avoid the failures to begin with, such that I end up burning out early and never executing the plan at all. Should I just be embracing the issues for the first build and cracking on, even if I know there are probably some aspects I haven’t considered yet?!
I've had the same experience while coding, at least for anything moderately complex. I learned that I didn't really understand the problem (and the tradeoffs of different solutions) until about my third attempt...
Do you ever have a build that has a portion that is so intricate- if you feel you got it right- will you pull that portion into the next build- or is that second build always an 100% fresh one?
I've always had the feeling that I have to be good at anything that I do and that I have to master something before I let anyone know I even have anything to do with that thing. This has led me to avoiding things that I don't immediately find an aptitude for. Social interaction is one of those things that I ended up avoiding. A few months ago I decided that I need to change this. Part of how I've been working on this was to pick up something that included both social interaction and something else that I have zero aptitude for: dancing. I'm learning how to be bad at something and be okay with it. When I get frustrated about not being good at some step or not being able to remember anything at the practice parties, I remind myself that I'm not there to be good at it; I'm there to be bad at it, so I'm not actually failing. I still try, but I'm learning that the trying is enough in itself. I picked up juggling again (which I've long been able to do only in its most basic form) in order to train myself to hear the beats in music so I can follow it in dance. I juggle to the music. In time I found myself getting ideas for different ways to juggle in response to the music. At first I'd ignore those ideas because I didn't have the skill to perform them, but I eventually realized that that was my old way of thinking that I'm trying to break. So I began to try the ideas that came to me. I'd give it a go, it would flop, and I'd try to think of a way to find why it flopped and how I could make it work. Before I knew it I was dropping balls all over the place and having the time of my life. Juggling was never enjoyable, before, because I was too discouraged by failures, but now it _is_ fun. Somehow the failures became fun when I stopped being concerned about performance and instead focused on growth and enjoying spontaneity without self-expectations. I still struggle with being self-conscious when I'm dancing with someone and find myself unable to bring out any skill at all, but I'm getting better. I'm learning to understand that most of the people I end up dancing with have similar concerns and are perfectly okay with me being unskilled. Sometimes we can even just try stuff out to see what works and what doesn't work. And I've found that my juggling can help me break out of that anxiety when I can't do it with sheer will. I've started trying to make time to juggle a few minutes before I dance just to loosen up my brain and my emotions. It's okay to not be good at something I'm doing. It's okay to still be learning. Most people are bad at most things and only good at a few things. And it's okay for the things that I care to be good at to be different from the things that other people care to be good at. Anyone who disagrees with that is just not one of my people, and that's okay too. The approval and appreciation from a few friends is much more valuable to me than approval from strangers in the general public.
I had a form of almost "preemptive" imposter syndrome whereby I didn't even bothering _trying_ to apply myself because I assumed I couldn't ever be good enough to belong in any particular field. But after enough life experience, something clicked, and over night, it all went away completely. I think the trigger was the realization that our perceptions of how some people seem to just always know exactly what they're doing is a total illusion; no matter how much of an expert or an authority some people might seem to be, the underlying truth is that absolutely everybody is making it all up as they go. When you can understand that, you're free.
I love the ‘chasing wonder’ idea. I feel ADHDers are puppies chasing wonder squirrels. The best most creative are following them wherever they lead and catching more than the occasional one (only to play nicely with, not to chew).
Chasing Wonder is a great term, and I believe, the only reason the Mission Impossible movies exist. As a way for Tom Cruise to do incredibly scary things that normally he could never do.
Thanks Adam, I use the process of there being three ideations. #1 is where I learn how not to do it and gain a new experience of having done it. #2 is where I spent time using the things and figuring out what I love about it and what I hate about it and how the next one is going to be different. #3 make exactly what you want because after all, this will be the third time you have done this. The last project that I applied this to, ended up so much better than I expected on #1 that I have a higher level of confidence going into to the next one. In fact I used #1 as the second one.
I encourage my software engineering team to scrap first attempts, if they run into a lot of issues. Coming at the problem again, with the former knowledge, fresh in mind, has always resulted in cleaner, more elegant design. It's interesting to hear that advice coming from other maker disciplines. It can be difficult to commit to this model, but experience shows that it's worth the extra effort. It requires a bit of faith / trust me bro
Imposter syndrome in creative talented people sometimes comes from a specific phenomenon that can be summed up in one simple statement: Doing things that feel ordinary to you, can appear extraordinary to other people. You don't feel particularly special or gifted, so you imagine those people are overestimating your capability which makes you feel like a fraud, an imposter getting praise and opportunities that are undeserved. When you sometimes see other people doing things that you can't imagine yourself capable of, remember that there are times when others have that same awe in what YOU are doing.
Thank you for this perspective. I really, REALLY needed to hear it.
As a woodworker specifically. There’s an additional aspect to the argument in general. As the creator you know where every flaw and mistake is hidden and buried. You know they’re there and the piece feels less than complete. Anyone else will never find them. But that nagging fear that they will remains
I build balsa model airplanes and I often hear this from others if I show one to them. "I couldn't do that. I don't have the patience." I do have the patience and have had since I was a little kid, so it has never seemed extraordinary to me. Apparently it is to many.
On the imposter syndrome, the sobering moment for me was at one of my previous companies' office party when a peer of mine (who I semi-seriously considered to be my arch enemy as he was doing the same job as I but so much better, focused and based; and on top of that was clearly better at hobbies we shared) got a bit intoxicated and went on a tirade on how he wishes he handled some situations as good as I did, how he's envious that I always appear so calm and on top of anything thrown at me, how I seem to have it 'all figured out'... I still can't shake off the feeling, but at least it gives me some bittersweet comfort to know that a lot of people who we consider successful suffer from the exact same condition.
It's been said that any good expert has some form of imposter syndrome as that is what drives them to do the things that make them an expert to begin with. If you feel like you have figured things out you will also not try to learn new things and improve. So some degree of imposter syndrome is even healthy in that regard.
@@creeschthis comment actually helped me. I used to tell myself that every morning when I fancied myself an expert in my field. Now it seems like I am too hyper aware of my short comings and unable to perform like I used to without feeling like I have my RPM’s on red.
For me it was when we had a team away day and had to write an anonymous compliment for someone else. The one i received was that I am always willing and able to help, I’ll either find the information or the person with the information and that really helped me realise that I actually do know what I’m talking about and that others appreciated my knowledge. Man did I carry a smile for the rest of that day and that note is still in my wallet some 7-8 years later.
Your observation that "all deadlines are artificial" reminds me of the great Steven Wright quote "Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time". Both of you are brilliant.
amazing insight for the ADHDers out here. Thanks for the support you give so freely to makers you may never know.
I'm curious Adam. When are you going to go sanfran trannie?
Speaking from my own personal experience, the toughest journey has been the long, long struggle with *crippling* impostor syndrome. It is very similar to the seven stages of grief, except played out over a lifetime, prefixed by "Why can't I..." Thankfully I am at "acceptance", which seems to be the the point at which the paralysis starts to melt away, when you no longer care about whether or not you can or cannot. The moment where you fell okay about letting go of the unanswerable and allow yourself to fall into a graceful state of doing. I am so grateful for the reassurance and reinforcement provided by marvels such as Adam's channel, which shine such lovely guiding lights in the murk.
I was thinking the same thing. I have rampant ADHD. Adam makes me feel so seen and understood.
@@pauldorman you shine as well. Im also getting very close to the who gives a damn - look what I made
I once went to a workshop at my university on imposter syndrome. It didn't really help though as they started by saying "You all have PhDs/ etc. You belong here, you've put in the work". Trouble is I failed university and got kicked out after 1½ years so I even felt like an imposter in the imposter syndrome workshop.
PhD is a joke anyway. Don't let others define you. PhD stands for Piled higher and deeper. Don't let someone with alphabet soup after their name downplay what you can do.
I didn't finish my degree as work "stole" me from uni. I always thought I'll go back and finish the bachelor's degree just for fun or so that I could take the interesting classes with prereqs, but it's been 9 years. I've joined uni during covid and even worked as a TA for a C programing class but I couldn't do the zoom thing and failed. I'm now too old to study without paying uni, and I'd rather save up 1000 euro for a house than pay 1000 euro to the uni per semester, especially since there were some classes of dubious quality.
@@MenkoDany Yep. Don't get me started on "higher education." Indoctrination is more like it. They won't teach you want you want, you have to take (and pay for) classes you don't want, to get a piece of paper that doesn't matter.
I only have an associates degree from a technical college, and it hasn't held me back at all.
IMO advanced degrees are not useful outside the specialty subject. The higher the degree the less useful in ‘real life’. I’ve never seen a microbiologist unplug a drain.
@@TheSuzberry So the people who spend decades pursuing knowledge to do research on medicine, or disease, or new electronic technologies, or countless of other ways improve and contribute to are life are not doing useful things?
I'm not one to bash on people doing manual labour or similar things - I wouldn't be able to (at least do a godo job of) plumb a sink. But hey, without people like me designing electronics and engineering them, you wouldn't be able to comment on this video in the first place.
Knowing that the first build is a prototype, and that the second will be far better and easier, is a key feeling to impart to any student. Thank you; I shall integrate that into the lessons I teach.
I like the idea of changing the mindset of 'success or failure' to 'success or learning' it's a small change, but makes a big difference emotionally.
Calvin "I work better under pressure"
Hobbs "You work only under pressure"
Adam, you might never see this, but I just wanted to say thank you. I’m not exactly a maker, but I am a creative. I’ve been struggling to get into voice acting for years. Everyone keeps telling me to just hang on- they have the talent and the skills. I just need to get that break. But this industry is so hard to get into. I see my peers succeeding where I fail, and can’t help but think that I’m just not good enough, or I don’t deserve to do this. Hearing you talk about how someone like you and other extremely successful people have struggled with those same feelings makes me feel human again. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
I love it when I get way more out of these videos than I expect. I expected good stuff. What I got was something amazing that I feel in my bones that resonates with whatever the deepest part of my mind can be called. Thought provoking and edifying.
In my first career employment, I was hired alongside a woman who I had gone to school with. A very sweet, nice woman, couldn't ask for a better human being. But I knew from school I was hands down going to be better at the job than she. After one of our first team meetings, being the new people without any connections with anybody else, we went to have hot chocolate together in the break room. Hoping that she was feeling the same thing, I mentioned to her that I hated going to the meetings because it was there that I felt that everyone was going to figure out that I shouldn't be here. She of course was blissfully unaware of any such thoughts and was totally confused by my admission. Leaving me feeling even more insecure than I had been about how long it was going to be before I was exposed as an imposter. After a while she moved on to a different position in the company, as everyone else did figure out that maybe she wasn't the right fit for that job. The moral of the story is that sometimes it is good to be blissfully unaware. On the other hand, if you are questioning if you should be there, you are probably smarter than the average person, as you are aware that you have shortcomings. And one can only solve a problem that one is unaware of by accident, and that rarely happens.
This might be the best video of this series. I’m saving this and I’m going to watch it many more times. Thanks, Adam.
I'm a writer. Part of writing is knowing that the first draft will need to be reworked, repeatedly, to make it better. It's never perfect, but better than what I started with. To quote a program I belong to, progress not perfection.
I don't have imposter syndrome anymore....I realized that every person's path has something unique to offer.
Test pieces are love. Test pieces are life.
Im 28 years old and have been struggling with imposter syndrome for the past 3 years so badly that I have been job hopping and failing miserably for the past two. I used to be indomitable, and after a few bad things happened I’ve developed Ptsd and a crippling Imposter Syndrome that has prevented me from doing most things, essentially only leaving the apartment when I have to and being filled with dread about it before and during.
I love what you said about building things more than once. Like trying to cook a new dish, or trying to piece together a new variety of plate items that go well together. Once you do it the first time, you know what you should’ve done and what was good or not the next time you do that idea.
Thanks for touching on this Adam!
Your comments on deadines and "on the clock" reminded me of a saying I heard someplace and adopted as a signature line for my email when I was a working person "If it weren't for the last moment, nothing would ever get finished"
Lately, I've been working through my fear of screwing something up, specifically so much so that I can't fix it and I feel like I've wasted time and resources. I've gotten to the point where I'm accepting that I'm going to screw it up regardless, so the question is whether it's worth doing anyway. I've been struggling with the answer "yes, it is worth doing."
Not only is it that someone discounts the value of their own experiences, they also don’t realize that the experiences that they have is ingrained in their being- making them who they presently are. Without that journey, they would be a different person.
Recognizing the journey and the elements that form the person can mean so much.
I can't think of a more capable story teller that I would prefer to live vicariously through than Adam Savage.
As a guitarist, I often play songs by the greats like EVH, or Keith Richards. Some of my favorite songs to play are Brown Sugar, Honky-Tonk Women, and Love is Strong by the Rolling Stones, and also Runaround by Van Halen.
I agree with your comment about a constant source of joy. It is a constant source of joy to me while I am playing those songs. There is a degree of imposter syndrome, but if you enjoy what you do and you are honest about it, then I don't think it really matters that you're copying something that already exists. That's true whether you are a musician, a maker, prop replicator, or just a general hobbyist. There's no shame in doing something you love.
It's weird that you're talking guitar on a video about imposter syndrome because guitarist Sophie Lloyd released an album called 'Impster Syndrome' about a month ago lol.
Your statement about being ready to build something you have not done before three times is profound. The first attempt is exploring the design space and stumbling to a conclusion. If it all works out, Bonus! If not, you have a map of the territory and can do a better job on subsequent trys. In this case the journey is just as important as destination because some (or many) of the false steps you make may turn out to be a key item in making your next project a success.
There's a weird documentary on William Gibson called No Maps For These Territories. He's sitting in the back of a limo talking about the future being both present and always within reach. Jumping into the interstitial is what creativity is all about.
Thank you Adam and Tested team for the time and words you devote to mental health so regularly! Adam's outlook and sharing of both stories and philosophies make it easier to tackle life's innumerable insertions of our own anxiety into daily functioning. :-D
Adam strikes me as perhaps the happiest person alive AND he is brilliant which I rarely associate with happiness. Lucky bastard...
God I love how he put the bit about spending time with your family. Just cause their family doesn't always mean it will be a good or easy time to be spending time with them
I am well respected amongst my peers, and i still feel like "i have no business being here doing what i am doing." I salve my conscience by knowing that i am there, because i CAN do it, and there's nobody else at the moment who CAN do it. So it's me or nothing.
I think impostor syndrome can be explained as everyone's natural progression along the Dunning-Kruger curve. Essentially, you've passed the initial confidence peak and are in a deep confidence trough because you've come to grips with knowing how much you don't know about your particular field.
The solution is to remain humble and receptive to other perspectives and learning new things... and the restoration of your confidence will come with time.
Deadlines and boundaries... two of the most powerful driving forces in my creativity. I've often said that given any opportunity to sprawl, an artist will. Putting up limits, be they creative, material, or time-based, helps me focus and create a more complete image of whatever I'm trying to work on. I thrive the most when I have a border to bounce up against.
Adam - your answers (and rambling sidethoughts) are ALWAYS useful!
I greatly appreciate the insight into "comparison syndrome" in this manner; when we consider that someone else is doing better in a different discipline, we assume we went wrong. I worry often that I chose the wrong creative outlet because I see little success, however basing your creativity solely on success is a trap all should actively avoid. If you enjoy what you do, you're rich enough already. Love kindly, live fully, and do whatever you do because it pleases you!
Chasing wonder. I’ll be using that. Thank you, Adam.
Thank you so much for describing the process of building things twice! "Getting it into your body" really resonated for me on a level which had no description before you said those words. As a practicing engineer, we often build a Proof of Concept (POC) before building a thing "for real". But this is always classified as "risk reduction", which is a wholly unsatisfying description for my internal maker. "Getting it into your body" is so much accurate about how it actually feels for me. Thank you!!!
Another thing to remember about failure: It isn't really failure. You learned something through goofing up, now when you try it again you'll do better. Also re: Failure - With art, usually nobody knows what you were trying to accomplish in the first place so if you mess up a little bit, nobody will notice but you.
This is in part, the explanation of experience! One CANNOT claim to be “experienced” in something, unless they’ve messed up several times prior
Adam, I have a big interview coming up next week, and of course, as a designer, I am always feeling a bit of an imposter. These were perfect words to hear today as I practice speaking through my portfolio case studies. Thank you so much.
Best of luck!
Interesting idea around the 2nd build. I'm a musician, and I have a weird opposite feel when it comes to redoing something abstract. It always feels in trying to refine you lose something along the way
To me, your description of the prevalence of such feelings among people who shouldn't need them is a Good Thing. It is indicative of an innate HUMILITY that remains present even in the face of success. I have invariably found that the very best people retain a degree of humility or a humble kernel. The people who lack it have a tendency toward arrogance and all the problems that brings.
I really appreciate you thoughtful and careful answers to so many of these questions.
Chasing wonder is a great way to look at many aspects of life...I think we need a Chasing Wonder T shirt!!!
I love your comment on the second time through a project. I tell all my students if they have to redo work, it will go quicker and the results will be much better. Hearing you say essentially that also helps with my impostor syndrome 😂
Imposter syndrome afflicts the humble. In my experience, my very favourite people to work with have absolutely NO idea how good they really are, nor do they choose to acknowledge their influence on their peers. I got this vibe from you, Adam, when you came to visit us in the workshops on Ghostbusters.
I thrive on deadlines. It's how I finally passed the drivers test in my 20s. Picked the first available test date, figuring I'd fail, but would know what to expect the next time. Much to everyone's surprise, I passed.
Iteration is extremely important and once you know that it helps keep the perfectionism at bay. Sure, attempt one was an utter failure, but attempt 5 is looking pretty close to what I envisioned perfect as.
Unbelievable timing on this video. I'm in my first year as a New Projects engineer and I was feelin pretty bad about how much help I need etc.
Hi Adam,
I grew up watching mythbusters, and being able to watch these videos makes me soo grateful that I've been able to follow you all these years.
This is will probably go into the void, but I've got a different sort of imposter syndrome: I can't focus on work anymore. It's not a small problem, or only on the bad days, it's every day. Work has me doing programming, because I'm the only one who could do it, but I regularly experience what markiplier termed "sandpaper-like friction in my brain when I try to do something that has high executive function". Finding a bug in a complex piece of code that incorporates applications of physics? I could write out the steps to debug it, I can make checklists, I can find papers and read them, but I can't bring myself to work a problem like that, not like I used to, and not like my peers around me.
Usually I keep a pretty good lid on it, but some days, like today, it gets out, and grieve the capacity I once had to relish in complex problems like this, and really sink my teeth into them and solve them. I have everything anyone could wish for to address my problem: money, time, supportive family, kind coworkers, generous work hours, good health insurance... all of it. I've tried diet, I've tried excercise, I've tired therapy many times, meditation, acupuncture... I don't even know what to try next.
I guess this might not be a relevant question for you, in your line of work with lots of passionate people and hard workers, but have you ever met someone like me? Someone who pushes themself hard, but then has trauma or *something* happens, and suddenly their brain doesn't work like it used to?
I'm not leaving this work anytime soon, but... I don't know. I'm not. I just don't know what to do. I lock up, and it's not something I can logic past or push through, and nothing makes a dent in it and no one else seems to grasp the enormity of the problem.
Much love from Oregon. I actually hope you haven't met anyone like me, because this is hell, and I hope no one else is in this specific kind of hell.
I don't know if it would help you but magic mushrooms have done positive things to my mind. Maybe they could help you get through this. If you are not familiar with then I would recommend listening to people like Terrence Mckenna
I get imposter syndrome as a line cook. I have been one for close to 20 years. I am not even interested in cooking food outside of work or have much passion for it but i do the job pretty well. My boss hires people that love cooking and talk about their love of it and i always feel like those hires will wonder how i have a job cooking. Or feel like i shouldn't be one. It never happens but i can't shake that feeling.
On imposter syndrome, for me it happened when I started my graduate studies at Georgia Tech. I had a long and difficult path getting to that point. I felt as if there would be this moment that someone would realize that I wasn't supposed to be there and I would promptly be asked to leave. 6 courses later, I realized that there are people way smarter than me, but I am on my path, not theirs.
I’m in a similar spot, our paths are great!
@@jsc0625 Best of luck to you.
Becoming content is interesting path. Within my career/trade/hobby. I’ve got to that point, it’s taken me 35+ years to get there. I’ve acquired or accomplished the majority of things I’ve desired and no longer set deadlines for myself, as long as I move forward, I’m happy with my progress.
Thanks for posting this one, one of the best you’ve shared
One of the common triggers of imposter syndrome is that when we have some level of talent or skill born out of an intrinsic interest and enthusiasm about something it tends to feel like nothing, it feels natural, normal, easy. Then we downplay our own abilities because we have this narrative that skill is always acquired through grit, determination, and hard work. You can see this kind of thing all the time in others, folks who are good at stuff make it look easy, and sometimes to them it just feels easy, natural, and obvious. A chef preparing food, an artist sketching something out with a few lines, a rock climber scaling a cliff face, they all make it look effortless so often. But everyone has something like that for themselves, something that feels easy because they are engaged with it so naturally that they put in the time to get better at it without it feeling like a chore, something that they have a level of skill at where it feels effortless and easy to do stuff that others boggle at.
Ooh, this is interesting to consider. Combining this with something I've noticed in my own life is that I tend to have a very strong attention to detail and putting things in order, which has resulted in coworkers commenting on how tidy things are after I've done them. To me, it seems like it should be trivial because I'm not putting a lot of effort into noticing such things, and in fact it can become irritating if I don't do something about them. But maybe to other people, they actually don't notice, or it doesn't bother them so they're a lot more likely to let it go, and that's a kind of natural predisposition I have.
exactly what i needed to hear, Thank you 🙏
In the world of sewing, the word for a first draft is a "mock up" it's meant to never be seen by other people, but is purely to have a test version before starting the real thing. Novices (myself included) often choose to skip over this step, as it is one of the more fun parts. In time the mock up becomes reversed for how it can elevate the final product.
Thanks. This was just the video (and the comments) I needed today ❤
Comparison is the thief of joy. Just focus on what you love and do it your way. Don't compare.
Not sure that's the take away.
Healthy envy can be pretty fun and productive.
Oh my, I love the "Be prepared to make it again" statement.
Never let the quest for perfection get in the way of producing a sufficient solution for the need at hand. Perfect is often overkill at the expense of success.
"failure is our portal into the unknown unknown" -- Stuart Firestein
thanks for everything you do!
The way I see it is if you're there you're meant to be there, even if you "aren't". Of course, I still get a form of imposter syndrome which is "am I really capable of this?" But I try to go into every situation feeling like it's where I'm meant to be, for my own sake (though it's not always easy). Whether I succeed or fail, whatever happens is what needed to happen. Then, when you fail, you look for the lesson in it (you can almost always find something), and you set yourself up to do better next time. Eventually you succeed.
The important thing is just to never give up. I think a lot of people give up when they feel some form of imposter syndrome, but imposter syndrome is just anxiety (fear of failure or fear of making a fool of ones self). So just embrace it and try to roll with the punches; eventually you'll figure things out and get where you're going, wherever that is.
Great video Mr Adam sir
These are great, and I appreciate the topics and perspective, but I really appreciated the thought provoking and in depth nature of " Still Untitled " and "This is Only a Test" podcasts. I know that the same people would be hard to get together again, but the Tested team that we see each end of year doing the "My Favorite Thigs of the Year" would be a great pool of possible guest hosts to Join with Adam and Norm on an hour-long show of the sort. Would really appreciate it. I think it could be successful. There are so many less interesting individuals who are doing podcasts successfully.
The podcasts were really tricky to do - very time consuming, and the weekly cadence was a hardship. For now, live streams and Q&A will be the extent that we can produce. Sorry about that.
@@testedunderstood. The trend is shorter, with less effort involved and more bang for the buck. Soon, all content may be "shorts", which i dont find entertaining, and which i believe can be addictive and unhealthy. Im not complaining and I'm a definite fan of tested; im just letting you know that you're slowly moving away from my preferred content and format. If im in the minority then great, if there are more like me it could be worth considering.
Found you on TH-cam !!!!! I have watched you on TV and always loved your (work/fun?)
Why did I think you were talking about the guitarist Sophie Lloyd's album called 'Imposter Syndrome' that was released about a month ago lol.
Thank you.
I'm a reasonably creative sort who usually ends up HATING what I produce until years after I complete it (and sometimes still).
I like the idea of going into the effort ASSUMING I'll repeat it. I've bludgeoned a lot of stuff into working in the first pass, but when I look at it afterwards, all I see is the mistakes. If I finally grumble and do it again, I always feel like I screwed up and now I've gotta fix it, which ends up seeming awfully depressing.
Advantages of a "dry run":
-You figure out what the RIGHT tools are to do the job before you destroy your materials
-You understand what materials will work together well (e.g. no, you can't use wood glue to bond glass to cardboard)
-You figure out where doing things badly/quickly will show (or hinder functionality) and where it won't
The more complicated a thing is, the more dry runs you should consider.
My wife is a "process knitter". She has no problems ripping things out when she makes mistakes or dislikes design decisions. She enjoys the process - but once she completes it, it is no longer interesting and she gives it away or it molders off in a closet somewhere.
I think a compromise is in order.
Somehow this video was exactly what I needed to hear right now. I've been chasing wonder without knowing it for most of my life. And I'm going to keep chasing it for the rest of my life. Thanks, Adam.
Oh, thanks so much for your comment. Means a lot to us.
Making something 2 or 3 times is something that always happens to me when I’m learning a new coding language/framework. I get to a point where I know it will suck if I keep going, so I’ll step back and start again, and the end result will always be better for it.
Part of it is that I’ll start in a pretty naive state of mind, without understanding everything I need to understand, but I think it’s more important to start building than to read the manual.
working as a chef an creating tasty meals i too feel like a imposter at times like i dont know what i am doing and so on but each time i repeat making a dish i get better and better at it because i know what needs changing. i changed jobs from being in the resturants to a mess hall kitchen in the army and i thought i have no idea how to manage making wonderful and tasty meals to so many people at once but after three years there i finally feel comfy enough to do it.
every emotion we possess for a good reason. jealousy tells us the things that we want. its just an emotion that can be mishandled easily
Adam Pinewood you must know is one of the major Studio Complexes in England.
Like the National Film & Television School in Beaconsfield which was old film studios.
Spot on Mike Masamino impersonation😊..Neil Armstrong's👨🏻🚀👩🏼🚀 imposter complex came about because Deke Sleyton 'head of the astronaut corp' had thought their chances of a successful landing on the first try was unlikely😮
Fred Brooks in The Mythical Man-Month mentioned a rule like "Plan to make it twice: you'll be doing that anyway." And another software rule (can't remember the source, maybe the same?): You're fully prepared to start a project just after you've finished.
This is such an interesting framework to think about this from
You know, Adam, I just got hired at a new job and I’m sweating like never before. I can’t sleep and have that sense that there’s no way in the world this can go right despite everything I know.
Such a humbly uplifting guy.
Someone I used to work with often started numbering his project revisions from zero in order to bake in the fact that you always have to do at least one revision, even if it's minor changes. Then once you've accepted you're definitely doing at least one, well hey, what's a couple more after that right?
Its funny how i didnt understand any of it but i understood all of it at the same time !
We see you.
Honestly coming from manufacture automotive repair... Your build it 3 times makes perfect sense. In automotive repair the first time is a mess (sometimes). Second time you get it... The third time you make it your own and do it how you want knowing what you learned during the first 2 repairs. Fun fact: on a dealer level when you shortcut the repair procedure (while offering the perfect end result) you get paid more per job... until the factory finds out. Then the factory revises the repair procedure to mimic your procedure. End result... Techs are paid less for the same job. End rant haha
Been there done that. So frustrating sometimes!
I think a lot of the imposter syndrome that I feel has to do with comparing where I am in my journey with were others are. When I look at people that are farther along it can feel like I will never get there. But we don't see the struggles they have overcome or the struggles that they are still working through.
When it comes to software development, I always prefer to build it twice at least. The first build is figuring everything out, the second build is fixing all my mistakes and refining things based on all that I've learned, and building the foundations for the next stage of the project.
Adam, I thank you for these answers)))
"Be prepared to build it 3 times" honesty reminds me of the novel writing process. The first draft is usually figuring out how it all works and where pitfalls are inevitable, as my English teacher used to call it: our SFD (shitty first draft). All drafts that follow just refine your work futher and solve more problems. Be prepared to rewrite your book at least 3 times. It can be grueling but it's sooooo worth it.
insanely useful insight. thanks adam
I've been suffering from Imposter Syndrome. The only reason, why I am still unemployed. I feel like I could do it, I feel like I could land that job, but that hand keeps pulling me back down the hole. I hate myself because of that.
Often my first build is simply proof of concept. Then once I have the thing in my hand I can work the "bug's" out of the project.
I believe a wise man once said that failure is always an option 😉
My main struggle with builds is a tendency to over-plan and try to avoid the failures to begin with, such that I end up burning out early and never executing the plan at all. Should I just be embracing the issues for the first build and cracking on, even if I know there are probably some aspects I haven’t considered yet?!
Thank you 🩶
I've had the same experience while coding, at least for anything moderately complex. I learned that I didn't really understand the problem (and the tradeoffs of different solutions) until about my third attempt...
Do you ever have a build that has a portion that is so intricate- if you feel you got it right- will you pull that portion into the next build- or is that second build always an 100% fresh one?
I've always had the feeling that I have to be good at anything that I do and that I have to master something before I let anyone know I even have anything to do with that thing. This has led me to avoiding things that I don't immediately find an aptitude for. Social interaction is one of those things that I ended up avoiding. A few months ago I decided that I need to change this. Part of how I've been working on this was to pick up something that included both social interaction and something else that I have zero aptitude for: dancing. I'm learning how to be bad at something and be okay with it. When I get frustrated about not being good at some step or not being able to remember anything at the practice parties, I remind myself that I'm not there to be good at it; I'm there to be bad at it, so I'm not actually failing. I still try, but I'm learning that the trying is enough in itself.
I picked up juggling again (which I've long been able to do only in its most basic form) in order to train myself to hear the beats in music so I can follow it in dance. I juggle to the music. In time I found myself getting ideas for different ways to juggle in response to the music. At first I'd ignore those ideas because I didn't have the skill to perform them, but I eventually realized that that was my old way of thinking that I'm trying to break. So I began to try the ideas that came to me. I'd give it a go, it would flop, and I'd try to think of a way to find why it flopped and how I could make it work. Before I knew it I was dropping balls all over the place and having the time of my life. Juggling was never enjoyable, before, because I was too discouraged by failures, but now it _is_ fun. Somehow the failures became fun when I stopped being concerned about performance and instead focused on growth and enjoying spontaneity without self-expectations.
I still struggle with being self-conscious when I'm dancing with someone and find myself unable to bring out any skill at all, but I'm getting better. I'm learning to understand that most of the people I end up dancing with have similar concerns and are perfectly okay with me being unskilled. Sometimes we can even just try stuff out to see what works and what doesn't work. And I've found that my juggling can help me break out of that anxiety when I can't do it with sheer will. I've started trying to make time to juggle a few minutes before I dance just to loosen up my brain and my emotions.
It's okay to not be good at something I'm doing. It's okay to still be learning. Most people are bad at most things and only good at a few things. And it's okay for the things that I care to be good at to be different from the things that other people care to be good at. Anyone who disagrees with that is just not one of my people, and that's okay too. The approval and appreciation from a few friends is much more valuable to me than approval from strangers in the general public.
I had a form of almost "preemptive" imposter syndrome whereby I didn't even bothering _trying_ to apply myself because I assumed I couldn't ever be good enough to belong in any particular field. But after enough life experience, something clicked, and over night, it all went away completely. I think the trigger was the realization that our perceptions of how some people seem to just always know exactly what they're doing is a total illusion; no matter how much of an expert or an authority some people might seem to be, the underlying truth is that absolutely everybody is making it all up as they go. When you can understand that, you're free.
Plan to build it three times: I do this with code. There's less sawdust, but otherwise... The novelty is what makes it satisfying. And also hard.
It sounds like the old phrase “comparison is the thief of joy” is something that can play a factor too
that last one is soooooo CADD. first run on an object takes forever. second run takes half the time. third run is even faster
I love the ‘chasing wonder’ idea. I feel ADHDers are puppies chasing wonder squirrels. The best most creative are following them wherever they lead and catching more than the occasional one (only to play nicely with, not to chew).
Chasing Wonder is a great term, and I believe, the only reason the Mission Impossible movies exist. As a way for Tom Cruise to do incredibly scary things that normally he could never do.
THANK YOU
This makes me wonder: is one of the primary aspects of a narcissist is that they don't experience imposter syndrome?
That story of Neil Gaiman really affects me. It helps me a lot whenever I ask myself if I deserve to be here or not.
I miss your TV show but your u tube is the coolest thing you got me involved in rc watching different things
Experience is what you gain immidiately after you need it. Building the same thing twice gives you that experience.
Thanks Adam, I use the process of there being three ideations. #1 is where I learn how not to do it and gain a new experience of having done it. #2 is where I spent time using the things and figuring out what I love about it and what I hate about it and how the next one is going to be different. #3 make exactly what you want because after all, this will be the third time you have done this. The last project that I applied this to, ended up so much better than I expected on #1 that I have a higher level of confidence going into to the next one. In fact I used #1 as the second one.
I encourage my software engineering team to scrap first attempts, if they run into a lot of issues. Coming at the problem again, with the former knowledge, fresh in mind, has always resulted in cleaner, more elegant design. It's interesting to hear that advice coming from other maker disciplines. It can be difficult to commit to this model, but experience shows that it's worth the extra effort. It requires a bit of faith / trust me bro