Yvonne is a strong woman! Bear and Scully has done an amazing job of allowing her to share her story and not asking questions as she tells her story!!!
I only just found this story from a TikTok short. I had a similar, but less severe experience. The gaslighting, the abuse with statements like “I’m not stupid enough to hit you”. It wasn’t until I found the strength to leave him, got counseling, found a new and very supportive partner, got a well paying job (that paid more than his) and was completely independent, that he discovered he couldn’t hold anything over me anymore. The first few years were very tough, but once the kids were old enough to realize, the attempts had no power.
Surely the psychological effects these children are suffering are as bad if not worse than any physical abuse they could encounter! Can’t a solicitor seek psychological assessment of the children and apply for full custody for Yvonne on the basis it’s not in the children’s best interests to have access to their father?? Such an inspirational woman, this story out of all your podcasts has been harrowing to listen to. As a woman who co-parents amicably with my ex it breaks my heart that some parents can’t put the needs of their children before their own egos!! I’m praying this comes to a happy resolution for you and your beautiful boys!! Stay strong Yvonne, you are doing amazing and I wish you every happiness xxx
Share this EVERYWHERE now and give that pathetic little excuse for a “man” nowhere to hide - well done Yvonne and I’m looking forward to seeing the follow up where you’ll get to say it’s finally behind you 🤞🏻🤞🏻❤
Well done Yvonne for sharing your story. This gave me chills, and you did such a good job of laying it all out. It takes guts to stand up to silent abuse. It ruins lives. I'm so sorry you and your boys have had to go through all of this. I was told years ago that children just need one good parent, and they see through the bs in the end. It's heartbreaking to see kids being used as pawns. Thank you for sharing, and for giving victims a voice. Wishing you all the best in the future xx
I went through this, I just had my baby girl premature she was in the icu..heading home one night and my ex dragged me out of his car got me on the ground and kicked me so bad inbetween my legs and left me with a severe heamotoma..I ran for help and got hit by a car and the car was a drink driver and drove off he never called an ambulance so he put me in his car and drove me to his mother's till the following morning. I ended up having to get a plate and pins In my leg.. nd had to learn how to walk again lost 4 stone which I'm trying to put back on. He tried to take my life but he will never take my freedom❤big love to women who are going through it and who have gotten away from it x
Why has coercive control being made unlawful ( as it should be) , yet what is being said, is that the kids are getting put through this too. Why is that not taken as seriously by the courts . Children have the right to be safeguarded at all costs. What a brave brave woman
I’ve just went through this too and my little boy is also near 10. Last summer the courts finally listened to my little boy and contact has stopped in Nov 23. The last 6 months has been unreal, my little boy has just blossomed. I’m up north by the way. Do your courts not have a child’s court social worker who can speak to the children? Also can you not get a non molestation order, I got granted one last year also. My heart breaks for you and your boys, I know exactly how you and your boys feel. Praying for you x
Absolute child abuse. The judges have let these children down so many times. What are they waiting for? A tragedy so they can have a serious case review like they do in the UK.
OMG the chills I get from your story as it’s identical to mine. The control, the isolation, his story as to why he divorced the first time and how she stole their kids, the control over my mobile, my computer, not allowing friends etc. many incidences where he alienated my family and verbally abused them, the drunken antics, and of course, it all looked amazing from outsiders because of luxury travel, beautiful homes and super cars. All of us as women married to narcissists hear you!! Nothing you said surprised me and your reasons for keeping on with the relationship were reminiscent. So happy you left and God love ya for not committing murder. Hugs- glad you survived
There are SO many things I want to say to you Yvonne, and I'm sure I'll comment again and say more. So many things come to mind, remind me of what I've been through with my ex, and remind me of things I've learned that have helped me heal from narcissistic abuse. Something I want to say right now though, that needs its own comment, after hearing that recording you played: We are not laughing at you, Yvonne! NOT A SINGLE PERSON hearing your story is laughing at you. You are strong, beautiful, resilient, respected and I'm sure you are loved. Just as the host says, you are an incredible woman. ❤
I’m in the exact same predicament only I never made it home. Trapped now in Canada with my kids and he won’t let me leave. I’m so glad for you that despite the nightmare you are dealing with at least you got home and are with your family and loved ones. It’s so hard being so far from home and so isolated trying to deal with a man like this and this type of abuse.. The court systems everywhere really seem to favour the rights of the parent (the dad in this case and mine) over the well being of the child. It’s very difficult to navigate. Wishing you so much luck with your situation and well done for telling your story. I hope one day when my kids are old enough to have a voice that we will get home to our family. Sending love and strength to you. ❤
Thank you for putting this case into the spotlight. I'm listening from Alberta Canada. Wishing you and those precious boys all the best in your healing and recovery. So brave, and so powerful. Stay strong mama bear❤
Also listening to this from Alberta! Small world. I’m glad that this Irish/Aussie woman’s story is reaching us. Her story is so important; people need to know what a monster this man is.
Still watching but my god this poor woman and her kids, this is absolutely devastating, what is wrong with the justice system, let these kids free of this monster 🤬
I could be listening to my own marriage story. It's heartbreaking that us women have to deal with these cruel men. Thank you for sharing your story. Much ❤ to you. Xxx
Yvonne, this is a pure narcissist. I know you know this. He doesn't care about anyone but himself and he never will. I hope the system allows you to protect yourself and your kids. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. So many things resonate. My son says the same, and it’s been the most painful thing I’ve experienced forcing him to go. Thank you for sharing what you know know now, and helping me understand what my son is going through. Thank you again for sharing, praying for your boys and mine.
This is one of the most accurate descriptions of what it’s like to be in a relationship with a narcissist. Even though our stories aren’t identical, they are similar in an uncanny way !! What an amazing woman she is ❤️👏🏼
So brave for sharing your story ❤ I am currently going through the family court trying to protect my 2 year old from someone like this and it is soul destroying, he is now coercivly controlling me through the courts and mentally torturing me and nobody will help as you get accused of being a bitter mum, how you have done this for 10 years is beyond me but its shown me a glimpse into my future 😢
She is so mature, levelheaded in the face of such manipulative, vile behaviour. I hope the courts will see that these wee boys are being harmed by their father.
So frustrating to listen to this story and having 2 boys myself, those poor kids being treated in this way, no child should be afraid of their parent. I hope justice will one day be served and karma gets him, sooner rather than later!
This woman’s story hit home so much with me my 2 youngest children saved me of the same abuse even down to the recordings and the silent treatment for days she’s right when you have had enough that switch goes on and that’s it everyone sees it but you I’ll be 7 years free in December big hugs to you Yvonne ❤
What a brave woman you are Yvonne. I hope this sad case of a man gets his karma. Absolutely disgusting what he has put you and your children through. He should be ashamed of himself. I hope u find the strength to keep going and get some sort of a court order where he isn’t aloud to see the children. God bless you and those little boys xx
This is SO familiar and I’m almost scared to comment in case my son’s father sees this comment, but I went through 6 years of non-stop court. Exactly the same situation and my son and I are still deeply traumatised. Even this week I was receiving abusive emails. Finally, my child is free from the situation. Please keep going, keep documenting everything and remember that your children are being abused when you send them. That is your focus in court. Adverse childhood trauma leads to huge adult issues, especially during their formative years.
Put in an application for a section 32 report through the courts so the children can have their say . I was in a similar situation with my children and we are safe from the abuse now .
I’m really scared for the safety of this woman and her children. These men are made of spite and lack of self control, very dangerous. This will infuriate him. Wishing you and your boys safety and peace.
Yvonne I wish you and your boys all the best in the future, the system is so unfair and needs to be reviewed as mental abuse is worse than physical sometimes. His time will come.
Let the kids talk to a judge let them talk ... It can be done . Note everything he has done to upset them.. a judge will talk to your kids please . You poor lady ..
Also speak with your solicitor about the UNCRC which is the human rights law for children. There has to be a way to stop this man from torturing you and your children. I wish you luck 🙏
Although my marriage wasn't physically abusive. It took me 6 yrs post divorce to realise I was in a coercive marriage. Emotional abuse, gaslighting. During the pandemic I got hundreds of emails full of abuse. For the first time in 12 yrs I showed a friend all the emails and messages, she's said that's abuse!! So I spoke with a charity in Bristol called nextlink. They read it all and had to educate me on coercive control and gaslighting. He would use our child to manipulate or call me a bad mother. I took him to court and now he's not allowed to contact me. Only through the parenting app. This type of abuse is more damaging psychologically
Far too many go through this, I went though similar 23 years ago system clearly hasn’t changed. Finally allowed myself to trust again 5 yr ago and history repeated only we had no children together he came in under the guise of wanting to be the man I never had, treat me so well then switched and the abuse started, only I had experience this time around and managed to get out however what I thought I had healed from only came back stronger and psychologically and emotionally caused more damage to me than the first time. Makes me wonder now why he left Ireland for England I don’t think it was his job like he said… what an amazing strong woman, keep fighting for ur children’s mental health. I know what this does to them down the line xx
I have no advice to provide a solution to ur situation...Thank you so much for your bravery. You did the right thing by speaking out, and you deserve a peaceful, happy life. I'm sending you a spirit of protection and love. You will be in my prayers. ❤
What is truly frightening, is that so many of us resonate. Im going through a wake up call, and am attempting to leave a similar situation but with an alcoholic, but don't know where to begin due to pushing everyone away out of shame. No real family. But i know I'll get there. It breaks my heart, that so many woman go through this... Yvonne is spectacular. You can see the physical response in her body. I hope so deeply things get better now, and this bastard gets his. We are worthy of living , not just exsisting. What hit home for me , was the cognitive dissonance.. certainly has made me realise something i thought that i was doing that was right for my child. That in fact, is damaging. Love to you all ❤
Bear & Scully you 16:49 guys are amazing giving the floor to this courageous woman, Thank you that’s what you call an incredible platform. Bless you Yvonne you have been through so much you are a Strong incredible woman & a wonderful mother , still fighting for your babies .. remember how much love & support you have around you & use it to get you through and put this sick person as far from you & your boys for good. Love , Strength n Hugs xxx
This women is amazing , feel so sorry on her kids haven to deal with a ‘man’ like this , just heartbreaking , hope they get a happy ending to all of this ❤
In the US we have an advocate who speaks to the children, almost like a lawyer just for them. Ireland is different probably and the crazy part is he will do this till there 18. Then he will have no reason to have control of her and those boys will want nothing to do w him. I’m sure he could care less. Karma is real and someone who is textbook narcissist will get what’s coming to him. I pray those kids and her can endure so so sad
She could get the guards to show the boys around the station so they don’t have as much fear of them. Only a small victory I know.. amazing mother and woman.
Well done for sharing your story. Your ex is a classic narc. I feel so angry that another woman has to go through this in this day and age. Very sad indeed. Those poor babies.
the Children Act 1989 contains in a Section 1 a checklist which Courts use for the purposes of determining what is the best outcome for a child (see later article where I deal with the checklist in its entirety) and within that checklist there is a requirement that a Court should take into account a child’s views and wishes insofar as they can be ascertained. The first thing to be drawn from this is that the Court shall take into account the children’s views and wishes, it is not a requirement that the Court shall follow those views and wishes as presented. In effect, a Court can give consideration to what a child’s views and wishes are but determine that in fact the child’s best interest is served by an alternative arrangement. I dont know if this applies in ireland too but it worth a shot xx
Although the kids are under 16, the older the are the more likely their views are to be taken into account by the court and I'm sorry but any judge that sends kids that are blatantly scared with their father should not be a judge x
This is heartbreaking! Yvonne you are an amazingly strong woman and Mother. You need to take a protective order out on him and take him to court for abusive and manipulative behaviour. There must some way of helping you and the boys. Can a psychiatrist go to court to state what he is doing to the boys. I just can’t believe this is still happening. He is the lowest of the low! Using these poor boys to hurt their mother is just disgusting. My heartbreaks for you Yvonne and you are so brave for telling your story xo
Children and young people have a right to be heard. We have a legal duty to listen to the wishes and feelings of all children we work with. This is outlined in the Children Act 1989, which established this requirement as a 'paramount principle'. I'm not sure of the law in ROI but I would absolutely be contacting social services and discussing options. These children need to be heard as this man is clearly crazy and his whole focus seems to be about destroying you and he will use any means to do this. If its the law he wants to use against you in every way, Unfortunately you will have to use the law also to protect your children and of course yourself. I'm sorry this has happened to you and I wish you all the strength to be free from this situation. Believe it or not, the children are old enough now and their voice needs to be heard. ❤
What a wonderful woman/mammy. My heart breaks for her and her boys 😭 how could any Father do that to there children or the mother of their children absolutely disgusting 💔 I wish the best for this woman and her boys ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
My question is for Yvonne, if u have a barrister & lawyer & few garda why are they not protecting u & yr boys? They can all see hes using the legal system to control u & yr boys, involve a doctor to speak of the effect this is having of u all, let yr boys write a letter if need be to a judge & express how this is effecting them both mentally & emotionally. Reach out to his ex wife have her bk yr situation up even by letter for the judge. In my opinion he should only every see these wee boys in a contact centre untill he learns they are human & cant be treated as tools to tear u down. Ive 8 kids with my ex & i know the mental & emotional abuse is harder to show wheres as bruises can be seen & will heal but those scars noone can see are the worst. My ex was most likely worse than yr abuser but he had to give up eventually as my kids are now all adults. Just dont leave it like i did knock that bully ryt of his feet with the help of others u take him up for emotional damage to yr kids & u. See how long he will hang around wen he has to go to a contact centre. Wishing u & the boys the best for yr future ❤
Yes yes and yes !!! Plus gardi and barristers and lawyers need to step up here.taking money and ticking boxes doing fuckall but keeping these kids on loop.An adult can't cope with him it's a disgrace these children have to 😭😭
It must be heartbreaking for her parents and brothers to hear this. I swear to god if someone treated one of my daughters like this I would skip into jail for doing them in. Where is this excuse of a man now does anyone know?
She is so Strong, brave and resilient to go through this type of narcissist, reactive, emotional and physical abuse and still get up everyday and do everything she can for her kids! I really hope she knows that! I don't know anything about child protective laws but there has to be something in place to keep kids away from this type of abuse. As a child of a narcissistic parent, I know first hand it is so damaging and my heart bleeds for them. But wow, she is the epitome of strength 🩷
This is a horrifying story and well done to Yvonne for having the courage to tell it. There are no words I can use to describe the excuse for a man who has abused her and the boys. I genuinely believe though that karma will get him in the end.
Why is a sick man being given a chance to express himself and while at it abuse the children and the children are not given a right to choose what they want. I am appalled by the suffering this man has caused this woman n the kids. Is this country lacking rights for children or are they just ignoring it. So sad. I am so sorry Yvonne
Horrible man she’s an amazing person. Unfortunately there are a lot of men are like this. I have been through this and still being abused 13 yrs later by my ex even though he has a new wife
Would contacting social services as they are being emotionally abused by their father or through school or GP for emotional assessment help , does the family court have an advocate for the children
Omg , im in tears listening to this , I feel like we were married to the same man ...I had years of this abuse and its only now (12 years later) that my kids are ok , not great , just ok ....it took me years to get my confidence back but im damaged as a person because of him 😢
Hopefully this story will help girls and women to see those reg flags early on and walk away before marriage and children. Wishing Yvonne and the boys peace and happiness. ❤
She needs to speak to social services and get a good solicitor to get a no contact order, keep him away from them poor children he’s doing them no good. Hes not a good influence in her children’s lives 😢😢he’s a perpetrator not a narcissist
This is beyond horrifying, I listened aghast throughout, I felt her fear and how this monster broke her, but the football match and the pillow story broke my heart and I cried for them. The poor kids, I pray to god this podcast gets into the right hands, this thing should never be allowed near those kids
Absolutely awful anyone has to go through that kind of thing! Once the kids are old enough to voice their concerns and opinions I think the courts should be taking that into consideration. I know it’s easy sometimes for parents to sway kids but when their parent is calm, respectful and supportive then obviously they should be listened too! Even have a Psychologist or something do an assessment and be able to help if they are being mentally abused and are developing issues. Both parents having rights is important but the kids health should be protected
As an Irish migrant to Australia, it's actually pretty confronting when you realise how bad DV is here. A woman is murdered at the hands of a significant other / ex, every 4days. That and gambling which I suppose probably correlates in a lot of instances. There's more pokie machines in NSW (Sydney) per capita than the entire state of Nevada. People can't watch sports without a bet. They're both ingrained in the culture unfortunately!
Yvonne what an inspiration you & your ability to speak your truth will be to so so many, your boys will be so proud of you despite this horrendous situation. Thank you for sharing & much love to you all ❤
I grew up in a home with a narcissist as father and a mother who also believed that "children need their father" and that she must stay with him. By the time I could leave home I made my little brother a key to my first flat. And told him to take his bike even if it was the middle of the night and ride to me if things get bad. By this time he was 14 and told my mother that if she did not divorce my dad, he would come live with me. She then realised it did us much more harm than good staying with him, his mindgames, his abusive language, his gaslighting. In front of other people he was the funiest, charming , life of the party. At home he was everything but.... after his death when me and my brother felt free enough to talk a tiny bit about what we lived with, his family was wide eyed and couldnt believe it. But me and my brother would tell the exact same story independently and my mother would confirm it. Which is when they would sit there stunned. Because they would always be told its my mother who turned us agaist him or we were bad, ungratful kids etc. To this day my mom has a lot of guilt for not leaving earlier. We have deep pshycological scars to such a degree that each of us developed serious, life threatening autoimmune illnessess. The specislist said they have never encountered siblings who tested negative for the gene, develop 2 totaly seperate autoimube diseases. According to them one of the ways autoimmune diseases develop is coninued phsycological trauma at a young age. We obciously love our mother very much but she never asked us if we wanted to stay. It was made for us and we both said we wouldve rather struggled financially than stayed. Easy in hindsight I know, but mothers should always give their children a voice and validate their feelings. Doesnt have to do whatever the child wants but in abusive situations like this..... Its so very difficult to listen to this and know how much damage is being done to these kids in real time. They are going to pay for this later in their lives if the adults in their lives dont pitch up at court and give their epxierence with this man. He has power because the adults in those childrens lives allow it. Fight for them. Its not only up to the mother, its all of the adults in and around them. Protect them please.
Be kind and gentle with yourself lady, the worst is behind you. Keep voicing your concerns about his effects on your boys and keep a record of all incidents of distress, ask for social workers to become involved and try to get limited access with him, possibly supervised visits.. keep voicing how detrimental forced visits are for your boys.. it does get easier as they get older, my son is now 14 and sees exactly what type of man his sperm döner is. Thankfully I am 7 yrs free this coming Boxing Day! When I look back now I still find it hard to believe some of the shit he put me through.. but here I am a strong, happy, independent woman who has had more than one last laugh in the end. Stay strong beautiful lady 💜
I'm 25 minutes in and I really appreciate that the hosts are just letting her talk.
That man is basically abusing his children and he should NEVER see his children again. He don't deserve it
Bear and Scully allowing this woman a safe space to talk freely deserve MAHOOSIVE RESPECT! 😊
Yvonne is a strong woman! Bear and Scully has done an amazing job of allowing her to share her story and not asking questions as she tells her story!!!
I only just found this story from a TikTok short.
I had a similar, but less severe experience. The gaslighting, the abuse with statements like “I’m not stupid enough to hit you”.
It wasn’t until I found the strength to leave him, got counseling, found a new and very supportive partner, got a well paying job (that paid more than his) and was completely independent, that he discovered he couldn’t hold anything over me anymore. The first few years were very tough, but once the kids were old enough to realize, the attempts had no power.
I would love an update on this eventually. What a heartbreaking story
Those kids deserved to be listened to and heard from the time they exposed him! They are now old enough to speak up in court!
Surely the psychological effects these children are suffering are as bad if not worse than any physical abuse they could encounter! Can’t a solicitor seek psychological assessment of the children and apply for full custody for Yvonne on the basis it’s not in the children’s best interests to have access to their father?? Such an inspirational woman, this story out of all your podcasts has been harrowing to listen to. As a woman who co-parents amicably with my ex it breaks my heart that some parents can’t put the needs of their children before their own egos!! I’m praying this comes to a happy resolution for you and your beautiful boys!! Stay strong Yvonne, you are doing amazing and I wish you every happiness xxx
Share this EVERYWHERE now and give that pathetic little excuse for a “man” nowhere to hide - well done Yvonne and I’m looking forward to seeing the follow up where you’ll get to say it’s finally behind you 🤞🏻🤞🏻❤
Exposing the narcissist only makes them double down on their cruelty, abuse and punishing rage!
Well done Yvonne for sharing your story. This gave me chills, and you did such a good job of laying it all out. It takes guts to stand up to silent abuse. It ruins lives. I'm so sorry you and your boys have had to go through all of this. I was told years ago that children just need one good parent, and they see through the bs in the end. It's heartbreaking to see kids being used as pawns. Thank you for sharing, and for giving victims a voice. Wishing you all the best in the future xx
I went through this, I just had my baby girl premature she was in the icu..heading home one night and my ex dragged me out of his car got me on the ground and kicked me so bad inbetween my legs and left me with a severe heamotoma..I ran for help and got hit by a car and the car was a drink driver and drove off he never called an ambulance so he put me in his car and drove me to his mother's till the following morning. I ended up having to get a plate and pins In my leg.. nd had to learn how to walk again lost 4 stone which I'm trying to put back on. He tried to take my life but he will never take my freedom❤big love to women who are going through it and who have gotten away from it x
Absolutely shocking behaviour and pure evil to do that to you in your most vulnerable state. Horrifying. I hope you and baby are doing well now x
OMG! So sorry that you went through such darkness.
Hope he rots in prison.
That’s absolutely appalling 😮.
Hope your healed up and safe now
🤗
Why has coercive control being made unlawful ( as it should be) , yet what is being said, is that the kids are getting put through this too. Why is that not taken as seriously by the courts . Children have the right to be safeguarded at all costs. What a brave brave woman
Yes this is the most important point. I don’t understand how the system seems very cold and uncaring towards the mental welfare of the kids.
Queensland, where she got residency has now implemented coercive control laws
I’ve just went through this too and my little boy is also near 10. Last summer the courts finally listened to my little boy and contact has stopped in Nov 23. The last 6 months has been unreal, my little boy has just blossomed. I’m up north by the way. Do your courts not have a child’s court social worker who can speak to the children? Also can you not get a non molestation order, I got granted one last year also. My heart breaks for you and your boys, I know exactly how you and your boys feel. Praying for you x
Absolute child abuse. The judges have let these children down so many times. What are they waiting for? A tragedy so they can have a serious case review like they do in the UK.
OMG the chills I get from your story as it’s identical to mine. The control, the isolation, his story as to why he divorced the first time and how she stole their kids, the control over my mobile, my computer, not allowing friends etc. many incidences where he alienated my family and verbally abused them, the drunken antics, and of course, it all looked amazing from outsiders because of luxury travel, beautiful homes and super cars. All of us as women married to narcissists hear you!! Nothing you said surprised me and your reasons for keeping on with the relationship were reminiscent. So happy you left and God love ya for not committing murder. Hugs- glad you survived
This is so painful, these kids needs to have a voice now they are older.
Yvonne you are an amazing mother. I pray your boys have had their voices listen to. And are living a bright new future
There are SO many things I want to say to you Yvonne, and I'm sure I'll comment again and say more. So many things come to mind, remind me of what I've been through with my ex, and remind me of things I've learned that have helped me heal from narcissistic abuse. Something I want to say right now though, that needs its own comment, after hearing that recording you played: We are not laughing at you, Yvonne! NOT A SINGLE PERSON hearing your story is laughing at you. You are strong, beautiful, resilient, respected and I'm sure you are loved. Just as the host says, you are an incredible woman. ❤
I’m in the exact same predicament only I never made it home. Trapped now in Canada with my kids and he won’t let me leave. I’m so glad for you that despite the nightmare you are dealing with at least you got home and are with your family and loved ones. It’s so hard being so far from home and so isolated trying to deal with a man like this and this type of abuse.. The court systems everywhere really seem to favour the rights of the parent (the dad in this case and mine) over the well being of the child. It’s very difficult to navigate. Wishing you so much luck with your situation and well done for telling your story. I hope one day when my kids are old enough to have a voice that we will get home to our family. Sending love and strength to you. ❤
Thank you for putting this case into the spotlight. I'm listening from Alberta Canada. Wishing you and those precious boys all the best in your healing and recovery. So brave, and so powerful. Stay strong mama bear❤
Also listening to this from Alberta! Small world. I’m glad that this Irish/Aussie woman’s story is reaching us. Her story is so important; people need to know what a monster this man is.
Still watching but my god this poor woman and her kids, this is absolutely devastating, what is wrong with the justice system, let these kids free of this monster 🤬
I could be listening to my own marriage story. It's heartbreaking that us women have to deal with these cruel men. Thank you for sharing your story. Much ❤ to you. Xxx
Yvonne, this is a pure narcissist. I know you know this. He doesn't care about anyone but himself and he never will. I hope the system allows you to protect yourself and your kids. Thank you for sharing.
You are so strong Yvonne and such an incredible mother. What a small, small man he is.
I am absolutely bawling this poor mother . I would be in jail. U are a lady
Thank you so much for sharing your story. So many things resonate. My son says the same, and it’s been the most painful thing I’ve experienced forcing him to go. Thank you for sharing what you know know now, and helping me understand what my son is going through. Thank you again for sharing, praying for your boys and mine.
This is one of the most accurate descriptions of what it’s like to be in a relationship with a narcissist. Even though our stories aren’t identical, they are similar in an uncanny way !! What an amazing woman she is ❤️👏🏼
Such an inspiration by speaking out. I really hope you, your precious boys and family heal from this monster, sending strength to you ❤️
So brave for sharing your story ❤ I am currently going through the family court trying to protect my 2 year old from someone like this and it is soul destroying, he is now coercivly controlling me through the courts and mentally torturing me and nobody will help as you get accused of being a bitter mum, how you have done this for 10 years is beyond me but its shown me a glimpse into my future 😢
What an awful time she’s had with a manipulative bully. Glad you got out hun, love to you and your lovely family xx
What a woman!! So proud of her and I pray she gets the justice and peace her kids and her deserve!!@
She is so mature, levelheaded in the face of such manipulative, vile behaviour. I hope the courts will see that these wee boys are being harmed by their father.
So frustrating to listen to this story and having 2 boys myself, those poor kids being treated in this way, no child should be afraid of their parent. I hope justice will one day be served and karma gets him, sooner rather than later!
what such a brave lady to speak out on this horrible vile abuse to her and her sons my heart broke listening.
Listening to this has broke my heart 😭
This woman’s story hit home so much with me my 2 youngest children saved me of the same abuse even down to the recordings and the silent treatment for days she’s right when you have had enough that switch goes on and that’s it everyone sees it but you I’ll be 7 years free in December big hugs to you Yvonne ❤
6 months free ❤
What a brave woman you are Yvonne. I hope this sad case of a man gets his karma. Absolutely disgusting what he has put you and your children through. He should be ashamed of himself. I hope u find the strength to keep going and get some sort of a court order where he isn’t aloud to see the children. God bless you and those little boys xx
Thank you!! I always feel I would know if I was in this situation but you have made me feel normal for not overthinking and know I know xx
This is SO familiar and I’m almost scared to comment in case my son’s father sees this comment, but I went through 6 years of non-stop court. Exactly the same situation and my son and I are still deeply traumatised. Even this week I was receiving abusive emails. Finally, my child is free from the situation. Please keep going, keep documenting everything and remember that your children are being abused when you send them. That is your focus in court. Adverse childhood trauma leads to huge adult issues, especially during their formative years.
Big hugs xx
@@outlander_... god I did not even realise 😳
@@outlander_... thank you… I’m SO foolish 🫣
Put in an application for a section 32 report through the courts so the children can have their say . I was in a similar situation with my children and we are safe from the abuse now .
I’m really scared for the safety of this woman and her children. These men are made of spite and lack of self control, very dangerous. This will infuriate him. Wishing you and your boys safety and peace.
Please let us know how it’s going with her and her babies🙏🏽
The court system is a fucking disgrace allowing this to happen
Yvonne I wish you and your boys all the best in the future, the system is so unfair and needs to be reviewed as mental abuse is worse than physical sometimes. His time will come.
So powerful, well done Yvonne , you have no idea , well actually maybe you do how helpful this will be to so many ❤
Let the kids talk to a judge let them talk ... It can be done .
Note everything he has done to upset them.. a judge will talk to your kids please . You poor lady ..
Also speak with your solicitor about the UNCRC which is the human rights law for children. There has to be a way to stop this man from torturing you and your children. I wish you luck 🙏
Although my marriage wasn't physically abusive. It took me 6 yrs post divorce to realise I was in a coercive marriage. Emotional abuse, gaslighting. During the pandemic I got hundreds of emails full of abuse. For the first time in 12 yrs I showed a friend all the emails and messages, she's said that's abuse!!
So I spoke with a charity in Bristol called nextlink. They read it all and had to educate me on coercive control and gaslighting. He would use our child to manipulate or call me a bad mother.
I took him to court and now he's not allowed to contact me. Only through the parenting app.
This type of abuse is more damaging psychologically
wow, this has hit home. what a strong woman ❤
Far too many go through this, I went though similar 23 years ago system clearly hasn’t changed. Finally allowed myself to trust again 5 yr ago and history repeated only we had no children together he came in under the guise of wanting to be the man I never had, treat me so well then switched and the abuse started, only I had experience this time around and managed to get out however what I thought I had healed from only came back stronger and psychologically and emotionally caused more damage to me than the first time. Makes me wonder now why he left Ireland for England I don’t think it was his job like he said… what an amazing strong woman, keep fighting for ur children’s mental health. I know what this does to them down the line xx
This is systems abuse. This is textbook Domestic Violence. I am so furious for Yvonne. Sending so much love to Yvonne and her babies.
Sending huge hugs to you Yvonne you are such a brave brave lady!!!! ❤
Her children should take their father to court for termination of parental rights
I have no advice to provide a solution to ur situation...Thank you so much for your bravery. You did the right thing by speaking out, and you deserve a peaceful, happy life. I'm sending you a spirit of protection and love. You will be in my prayers. ❤
Who is this man..its absolutely shocking what this poor woman has suffered
This would break your heart
Love to you and your boys keep standing strong ❤
What is truly frightening, is that so many of us resonate. Im going through a wake up call, and am attempting to leave a similar situation but with an alcoholic, but don't know where to begin due to pushing everyone away out of shame. No real family. But i know I'll get there. It breaks my heart, that so many woman go through this... Yvonne is spectacular. You can see the physical response in her body. I hope so deeply things get better now, and this bastard gets his. We are worthy of living , not just exsisting.
What hit home for me , was the cognitive dissonance.. certainly has made me realise something i thought that i was doing that was right for my child. That in fact, is damaging. Love to you all ❤
Bear & Scully you 16:49 guys are amazing giving the floor to this courageous woman, Thank you that’s what you call an incredible platform.
Bless you Yvonne you have been through so much you are a Strong incredible woman & a wonderful mother , still fighting for your babies .. remember how much love & support you have around you & use it to get you through and put this sick person as far from you & your boys for good.
Love , Strength n Hugs xxx
This is so heartbreaking 😢 I prayed for you Yvonne. ❤
You are THE strong Woman!
This women is amazing , feel so sorry on her kids haven to deal with a ‘man’ like this , just heartbreaking , hope they get a happy ending to all of this ❤
Well done Yvonne, you are being so brave and strong, hold your head high x
In the US we have an advocate who speaks to the children, almost like a lawyer just for them. Ireland is different probably and the crazy part is he will do this till there 18. Then he will have no reason to have control of her and those boys will want nothing to do w him. I’m sure he could care less. Karma is real and someone who is textbook narcissist will get what’s coming to him. I pray those kids and her can endure so so sad
What a brave woman that's one of the hardest podcasts I've ever heard somebody step in and help her unbelievable justice system xx
She could get the guards to show the boys around the station so they don’t have as much fear of them. Only a small victory I know.. amazing mother and woman.
This woman has been amazing from start to finish I really wish we could just take them all out of this situation god help the kids and her xx
Well done for sharing your story. Your ex is a classic narc. I feel so angry that another woman has to go through this in this day and age. Very sad indeed. Those poor babies.
the Children Act 1989 contains in a Section 1 a checklist which Courts use for the purposes of determining what is the best outcome for a child (see later article where I deal with the checklist in its entirety) and within that checklist there is a requirement that a Court should take into account a child’s views and wishes insofar as they can be ascertained.
The first thing to be drawn from this is that the Court shall take into account the children’s views and wishes, it is not a requirement that the Court shall follow those views and wishes as presented. In effect, a Court can give consideration to what a child’s views and wishes are but determine that in fact the child’s best interest is served by an alternative arrangement.
I dont know if this applies in ireland too but it worth a shot xx
Although the kids are under 16, the older the are the more likely their views are to be taken into account by the court and I'm sorry but any judge that sends kids that are blatantly scared with their father should not be a judge x
This is so heartbreaking 💔 I really hope you get justice and some peace for yourself and your kids 😢❤❤
I am praying THE BRIGHTEST LEGAL MINDS listen to this and HELP THIS WOMAN and HER children to get away from this man!!!!!!!
This is heartbreaking! Yvonne you are an amazingly strong woman and Mother. You need to take a protective order out on him and take him to court for abusive and manipulative behaviour. There must some way of helping you and the boys. Can a psychiatrist go to court to state what he is doing to the boys. I just can’t believe this is still happening. He is the lowest of the low! Using these poor boys to hurt their mother is just disgusting. My heartbreaks for you Yvonne and you are so brave for telling your story xo
Children and young people have a right to be heard. We have a legal duty to listen to the wishes and feelings of all children we work with. This is outlined in the Children Act 1989, which established this requirement as a 'paramount principle'. I'm not sure of the law in ROI but I would absolutely be contacting social services and discussing options. These children need to be heard as this man is clearly crazy and his whole focus seems to be about destroying you and he will use any means to do this. If its the law he wants to use against you in every way, Unfortunately you will have to use the law also to protect your children and of course yourself. I'm sorry this has happened to you and I wish you all the strength to be free from this situation. Believe it or not, the children are old enough now and their voice needs to be heard. ❤
What a wonderful woman/mammy. My heart breaks for her and her boys 😭 how could any Father do that to there children or the mother of their children absolutely disgusting 💔 I wish the best for this woman and her boys ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
My sons went through exactly the same thing and we moved far away when I had the opportunity
My question is for Yvonne, if u have a barrister & lawyer & few garda why are they not protecting u & yr boys? They can all see hes using the legal system to control u & yr boys, involve a doctor to speak of the effect this is having of u all, let yr boys write a letter if need be to a judge & express how this is effecting them both mentally & emotionally. Reach out to his ex wife have her bk yr situation up even by letter for the judge. In my opinion he should only every see these wee boys in a contact centre untill he learns they are human & cant be treated as tools to tear u down. Ive 8 kids with my ex & i know the mental & emotional abuse is harder to show wheres as bruises can be seen & will heal but those scars noone can see are the worst. My ex was most likely worse than yr abuser but he had to give up eventually as my kids are now all adults. Just dont leave it like i did knock that bully ryt of his feet with the help of others u take him up for emotional damage to yr kids & u. See how long he will hang around wen he has to go to a contact centre. Wishing u & the boys the best for yr future ❤
Yes yes and yes !!! Plus gardi and barristers and lawyers need to step up here.taking money and ticking boxes doing fuckall but keeping these kids on loop.An adult can't cope with him it's a disgrace these children have to 😭😭
It must be heartbreaking for her parents and brothers to hear this. I swear to god if someone treated one of my daughters like this I would skip into jail for doing them in. Where is this excuse of a man now does anyone know?
She is so Strong, brave and resilient to go through this type of narcissist, reactive, emotional and physical abuse and still get up everyday and do everything she can for her kids! I really hope she knows that! I don't know anything about child protective laws but there has to be something in place to keep kids away from this type of abuse. As a child of a narcissistic parent, I know first hand it is so damaging and my heart bleeds for them. But wow, she is the epitome of strength 🩷
This is a horrifying story and well done to Yvonne for having the courage to tell it. There are no words I can use to describe the excuse for a man who has abused her and the boys. I genuinely believe though that karma will get him in the end.
Why is a sick man being given a chance to express himself and while at it abuse the children and the children are not given a right to choose what they want. I am appalled by the suffering this man has caused this woman n the kids. Is this country lacking rights for children or are they just ignoring it. So sad. I am so sorry Yvonne
My ex used to push me to the floor for no reason and then say get the f up what are you doing. Still have sore back over 10 year later
Horrible man she’s an amazing person. Unfortunately there are a lot of men are like this. I have been through this and still being abused 13 yrs later by my ex even though he has a new wife
Would contacting social services as they are being emotionally abused by their father or through school or GP for emotional assessment help , does the family court have an advocate for the children
Omg , im in tears listening to this , I feel like we were married to the same man ...I had years of this abuse and its only now (12 years later) that my kids are ok , not great , just ok ....it took me years to get my confidence back but im damaged as a person because of him 😢
Hopefully this story will help girls and women to see those reg flags early on and walk away before marriage and children. Wishing Yvonne and the boys peace and happiness. ❤
She needs to speak to social services and get a good solicitor to get a no contact order, keep him away from them poor children he’s doing them no good. Hes not a good influence in her children’s lives 😢😢he’s a perpetrator not a narcissist
He's probably both. Everything she's describing is TEXTBOOK narcissist.
Wow Yvonne what a strong woman you are and i hope and pray you get justice for your 2 boys ❤
What a brave woman you are!
I feel so sorry for you and your boys.
He is not human! God watches everything and he will get his karma!!!!!
This is beyond horrifying, I listened aghast throughout, I felt her fear and how this monster broke her, but the football match and the pillow story broke my heart and I cried for them. The poor kids, I pray to god this podcast gets into the right hands, this thing should never be allowed near those kids
The cruelty that man is meting out to his sons is truly damning on himself.
Absolutely awful anyone has to go through that kind of thing! Once the kids are old enough to voice their concerns and opinions I think the courts should be taking that into consideration. I know it’s easy sometimes for parents to sway kids but when their parent is calm, respectful and supportive then obviously they should be listened too! Even have a Psychologist or something do an assessment and be able to help if they are being mentally abused and are developing issues. Both parents having rights is important but the kids health should be protected
As an Irish migrant to Australia, it's actually pretty confronting when you realise how bad DV is here. A woman is murdered at the hands of a significant other / ex, every 4days. That and gambling which I suppose probably correlates in a lot of instances. There's more pokie machines in NSW (Sydney) per capita than the entire state of Nevada. People can't watch sports without a bet. They're both ingrained in the culture unfortunately!
Even here in WA too sadly.
Yvonne what an inspiration you & your ability to speak your truth will be to so so many, your boys will be so proud of you despite this horrendous situation. Thank you for sharing & much love to you all ❤
I can relate you've explain this so well my mam told me he was too jealous too insecure I didn't listen wish I had to ❤ x
I grew up in a home with a narcissist as father and a mother who also believed that "children need their father" and that she must stay with him.
By the time I could leave home I made my little brother a key to my first flat. And told him to take his bike even if it was the middle of the night and ride to me if things get bad. By this time he was 14 and told my mother that if she did not divorce my dad, he would come live with me. She then realised it did us much more harm than good staying with him, his mindgames, his abusive language, his gaslighting.
In front of other people he was the funiest, charming , life of the party. At home he was everything but.... after his death when me and my brother felt free enough to talk a tiny bit about what we lived with, his family was wide eyed and couldnt believe it.
But me and my brother would tell the exact same story independently and my mother would confirm it. Which is when they would sit there stunned. Because they would always be told its my mother who turned us agaist him or we were bad, ungratful kids etc.
To this day my mom has a lot of guilt for not leaving earlier. We have deep pshycological scars to such a degree that each of us developed serious, life threatening autoimmune illnessess. The specislist said they have never encountered siblings who tested negative for the gene, develop 2 totaly seperate autoimube diseases. According to them one of the ways autoimmune diseases develop is coninued phsycological trauma at a young age.
We obciously love our mother very much but she never asked us if we wanted to stay. It was made for us and we both said we wouldve rather struggled financially than stayed.
Easy in hindsight I know, but mothers should always give their children a voice and validate their feelings. Doesnt have to do whatever the child wants but in abusive situations like this.....
Its so very difficult to listen to this and know how much damage is being done to these kids in real time. They are going to pay for this later in their lives if the adults in their lives dont pitch up at court and give their epxierence with this man. He has power because the adults in those childrens lives allow it. Fight for them. Its not only up to the mother, its all of the adults in and around them. Protect them please.
Be kind and gentle with yourself lady, the worst is behind you. Keep voicing your concerns about his effects on your boys and keep a record of all incidents of distress, ask for social workers to become involved and try to get limited access with him, possibly supervised visits.. keep voicing how detrimental forced visits are for your boys.. it does get easier as they get older, my son is now 14 and sees exactly what type of man his sperm döner is.
Thankfully I am 7 yrs free this coming Boxing Day! When I look back now I still find it hard to believe some of the shit he put me through.. but here I am a strong, happy, independent woman who has had more than one last laugh in the end. Stay strong beautiful lady 💜
This man doesnt have the right to see his kids. Those poor boys will suffer mentally as adults.
Fair play to you Yvonne! How in the name of god he is allowed to have access to the kids is beyond me. Horrible man.
My heart goes out to Yvonne ,any type of abuse is horrific but to break a person down like this mentally is evil,extremely calculating and callous
So brave, what an inspiration, I hope everything works out ❤