Schlatt tells some funny jokes. Streamed live @ / jschlatt Friends in the video: / smplive ~ Follow me on Twitter: / jschlatt Follow me on Instagram: / jschlatt
I'm honestly kindof concerned about the sub-story in these half jokes. "My girlfriend told me to go out and get her something that makes her look sexy." "I've spent the last four years searching for my ex-girlfriend's killer." "There's no domestic violence going on."
I like how shlatt didn’t include the part where willbur said “is... is he just looking at me?” When shlatt said “where there’s a will” and looked at him so when traves laughed it seemed like he just started bursting out laughter
@@AubreyMK Harmonquest, season 2 episode whatever the fuck. Big part of the episode was saying half of a joke or a saying. Like exactly "if there is a will"
"I want to die peacfully in my sleep like my grandfather and not screaming wildly like the passengers in his car" is iconic with and without the punchline
I just watched 7 minutes of a guy telling only half of a bunch of jokes he found online. Yet somehow it's the best content I've seen on TH-cam this week.
I'm only a (very) casual viewer, but I can see that schlatt has starpower that extends beyond minecraft. His comedic delivery reminds me of Bo Burnham.
Damn he didnt include the part where carson levitated him into the stratosphere just as the Seinfeld theme went off. "Well, here I go again" *Seinfeld theme begins*
Carson:”Everyone get out of the theatre.” Schlatt:”Hows pizza gonna get a job now?” Carson: At first you had my curiosity, but now you have my attention.
Theres a deep lore and timeline formulated in the jokes and I want someone to put it in chronological order . And I want someone to formulate the story chronologically.
@@angryman6268 ok so I was sleeping on a bunk on the top in this dorm room. And so in the middle of the night I get to rolling and I roll off since it had no railing. There was this cabinet thing next to the bed. My neck hit the cabinet, while the rest of my body did not. Luckily my roommates woke up and called the ambulance.
Wait this means schlatt can go to the green door schlatt you have to discover what’s on the other side from my information nobody has came back from over there
"Where there's a will"
*makes direct eye contact with Wilbur*
I wanted to like the comment, but you already have a perfect number.
@@skylarkuznetsov2354 about that.
I would have been terrified
There's a *bur*
*"It was enough to make any grown man cry"*
"Where there's a will..."
*looks at Wilbur*
Voxel Draqon jschlatt has malicious intent
666 likes
O H
H A H A HA
Voxel Draqon there’s a schlatt”
“Willschlatt
Voxel Draqon bruh I thought of him too when he said that
He didn’t include when they all left and Wilbur snuck in and just stared at Shlatt in the darkness while he tells more jokes.
Do you know if there's a video that has that already?
JmeaHD th-cam.com/video/lXjWEBdNYaQ/w-d-xo.html
@@xo-kora thank you!
*prison*
I laughed so hard in that
Pete coming in only to lose his mind laughing is what really killed me
you seem to be confusing me with someone else, I am merely a consumer of media, like you!
@@hoddtoward2671 nice try Todd we all know its you
Hodd Toward Todd you can’t fool us
Guys this is obviously regular media consumer Hodd Toward! Not Todd Howard!! It says it in his name!
@Zoe DePaul 6:51
'I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather'
*entire room bursts into laughter*
It was funny
JSCHLATT 2020
Imagine walking through the halls of an insane asylum and hearing that.
sam “I’ve been searching for my girlfriends killer...”
''How is pizza gonna get a job now?''
I would stay, ngl
I can’t- I can’t like this comment
It’s at 666
I guess this proves that literally anything that schlatt says is funny
Sushi not only that, but by simply tapping his mic on accident made Travis flip out
Sushi because it’s Schlatt
@@diamondtrapeze Literally him doing nothing made Traves flip out
@@diamondtrapeze Twice
*schlatt walk*
Jschlatt: When I inevitably choke to death...
Pete: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
Roblox loser
@@lysithea6919 gamist
@fact giver thank you i was just about to search that up but your comment helped me save time!! 10/10 stars
Pete's laugh is contagious
@fact giver sad
I'm honestly kindof concerned about the sub-story in these half jokes.
"My girlfriend told me to go out and get her something that makes her look sexy."
"I've spent the last four years searching for my ex-girlfriend's killer."
"There's no domestic violence going on."
Oh no
''How´s pizza gonna get a job now?''
@@theweakestbrazilianmale3398 yeah im concerned about that one too
Anyone who uses jokes from Carson is not to be trusted.
@@theweakestbrazilianmale3398 Anyone who uses that joke specifically shouldnt be trusted.
Nothing exudes more comedic energy than jschlatt's monotone voice
Oml
His minecraft skins expression makes it so much better aswell
Other than THE FORBIDDEN MIC OF THE FUNNY
Steven Wright energy
on reverb.
schlatt: at any given moment-
carson: *laughs*
schlatt: i didn't even say the joke
Traves absolutely losing his shit every time was killing me
I like how shlatt didn’t include the part where willbur said “is... is he just looking at me?” When shlatt said “where there’s a will” and looked at him so when traves laughed it seemed like he just started bursting out laughter
During the stream I think Wilbur was muted at that part because you couldn’t hear him say it in Carson’s stream
wilbur was muted but ok
Brother.
I have found you.
3:20
Wood fired pizza
"where there's a will" *glances at wilbur, everybody dies out of laughter*
Switching to Wilbur’s POV is what killed me, especially since it was the ONLY time he did Will
He has the right to look at his boyfriend , thank you very much.
@@ducktales7315 bruh
@@alexsiemers7898 no he did it twice i beilieve
My llama staring at you after every punchline made this 10x funnier
First
Ok pants
Your trauma llama
Ok pants
You know what made it even funnier? That there were no punchlines
Jschlatt is just if modern internet humor was a human
Underrated comment
Underrated comment
Rated comment
Overrated reply
comment
jschlatt: yo-
everyone in the theatre: AHAHAHAHAHAHA
K-pop traxsh ew kpoop
@@Oscze Yeah, this is big brain time.
K-pop traxsh jshatts energy is funny
jschlatt: *Breathes**
Hehe
Schlatt can literally tell you the date and time and you would suffocate from laughter.
I don’t find him that funny tho
@@Faded_-gs8rw ok boomer
Love him or hate him, he spittin’ straight facts.
Schlatt: The date is March 26th, 2020, the current time is 6:39 PST
Everyone: 😂😂😂
@Neapolitan Le Monke stop missing the joke
These Schlatt jokes are literally like laughing at a meme that says “ *bottom text* “ at the bottom.
agreed to the 10th degree
you've done it, you made me laugh at a meme that i created in my head
Ok Joseph joestar
I mean you're not wrong but god damn I did not want to admit that
Me: well structured joke
Audience: nothing
Jschlatt: stares blankly
Audience: *w h e e z i n g*
*hedgehogs ey?*
very.
@@Faithexx bitch ass nigga
@@Xanthopathy nigga ass bitch
Sela The Kobold ass bitch nigga.
schlatt just invented a new comedy: half comedy, say only half the joke
Already existed but it is indeed funny
Mad Sweeney I require the name for it, if you can't provide, he did in fact, make it.
@@AubreyMK Harmonquest, season 2 episode whatever the fuck. Big part of the episode was saying half of a joke or a saying. Like exactly "if there is a will"
MeKillYouTo ever recall cutting the bottom text out of those old impact font memes?
Mr. Nick The Boy oh yeah, I barely saw those so I forgot about it
Schlatt said “hedgehogs, eh?” as I was petting my pet hedgehog
Brand new sentence
For someone who's family runs a hedgehog buisness they're not my favorite tbh
How do you even per them
@@Ricardo5911jakakak you just rub down their backs, the quills lay flat so you can
The thing is,frow wilburs pov he look like was asking the llama and when it nod i just laught
wilbur found shaking and crying at the title
Poor baby. His boyfriend won
shaking and crying in happiness 😤😤😤
Wilbur is a supportive bf
sad british sound
british boi
The awkward silences between the jokes just makes it 10x funnier
The “188 deaths” floating above his head really makes it in my opinion
"I want to die peacfully in my sleep like my grandfather and not screaming wildly like the passengers in his car" is iconic with and without the punchline
Same for "I've spend the last 4 years looking for my ex girlfriends killer, but nobody wants to do the job"
@@DeJorisM *_WHEEZE-_*
I just watched 7 minutes of a guy telling only half of a bunch of jokes he found online. Yet somehow it's the best content I've seen on TH-cam this week.
Welcome to youtube.com
Says a lot about our society
I watched it from Wilburs perspective then Carson’s and now schlatts
0:16
I love how as soon as schlatt turns around a cave sound plays like Carson has made Schlatt angry
Dinky Winks wow lmao
Enraged with the might of a thousand suns
Half of these sounds like the diary of a mad man
June 16 “my wife found out I replaced the bed with a trampoline”
Dear dairy May 15th: hedgehogs eh?
Dear Diary October 31st,
There’s no domestic violence going on.
@Braeden Day vaccum* but ok
Barack Obama hey that’s my birthday
@@dumb2489 that's my birthday
“Hedgehogs, eh?”
*Llama nods*
“Where there’s a will..”
*_stares blankly at wilbur_*
I love that part so much
3:19 You're.
Wilbur: “I think I’m in love, chat”
What can I say, President Schlatt has mastered the art of Minecraft body language
Well written original joke
Carson: 😐
*”at any given moment”*
Carson: 😂
How’s pizza gonna get a job now
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to papa johns
Well written original jokes are never funny tho
This is my stepladder
hedgehogs eh
"I'm waiting for the punchline."
"There is no punchline."
I'm only a (very) casual viewer, but I can see that schlatt has starpower that extends beyond minecraft. His comedic delivery reminds me of Bo Burnham.
"This is my step ladder"
He’s very charismatic
nice LP profile picture
AGREED HEAVY
@@dumbguychannel445 thanks dude. Lp forever.
Jschlatt: "how's pizza gonna get a job now?"
CallMeCarson: *Sweats*
Pizzia
Pizzia
Pizzia
Pizzia
Pizzia
Stand user: Jschlatt
Stand name: [up comedy]
Stand ability: makes every joke funny as long as he doesnt say The punchline
Marko Studio IS THAT A JOJO REFERENCE
Stand name should be [Divine Comedy]
[ C O M E D Y G O L D ]
so its the same type of stand as star platinum
WHAT'S UP COMEDY
Schlatt: I hope that when I inevitably choke to death...
Crowd: *bird noises*
Pete: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
aaAAH aaAAH aaAAH
6:54
Is this the memes without bottom text audiobook?
yes
Red light gang out here draining SMPlive
NO THIS IS PATRICK
Mabye 2009 memes...
Yup
"No im very alone" -Technoblade 2019
Is there a clip of schatt saying "theres no domestic abuse going on" and then carson and travis laughing?
I hope that dead inside part was only a joke, but if not I hope you're doing okay!
Techno casually putting in the fact he is starving and nobody cares
Ah , he didn't win MC Monday 11 so maybe that's why he is starving
It made more sense in the vod, he just hadnt eaten yet lol
lol
when
WHEN
" "
-jschlatt 2019
make at least 15 people laugh.
I'm pretty sure ur pfp is from the taimanin asagi game, thank me later, ppl who happen to see this
"how pizza gonna get a job now?"
*EVERYONE INSANTLY GOES BACK INTO THE THEATER*
Damn he didnt include the part where carson levitated him into the stratosphere just as the Seinfeld theme went off.
"Well, here I go again"
*Seinfeld theme begins*
Where is that in the vod I *need it now*
@@taranzasgs2861 here you go pal www.twitch.tv/jschlatt/clip/FineDistinctSandwichDoritosChip
Carson:”Everyone get out of the theatre.”
Schlatt:”Hows pizza gonna get a job now?”
Carson: At first you had my curiosity, but now you have my attention.
1st, SMP Live talent show
2nd, Mayor of SMP Live
3rd, President of the United States
And he'll be a good president,no, *THE* best president. Not like that mr O care fella
4th, leader of the world government
Æ
Uhhh... that all just says 1st to me I do not understand why you got to changed it
@@ironpro7217 The O'Care fella is fake.
Techno, Fitz, Schlatt, Carson and Travis all in one call with Pete in chat is too much chaotic energy for one video.
B-but, Techno isnt-
B-but, Techno isnt-
B-but, Techno isnt-
B-but, Techno isnt-
B-but, Techno isnt-
I come back to this video every week just to hear “When there’s a will”
me: i’ve recently sold my vacuum cleaner
friend: ok
schlatt *: i’ve recently sold my vacuum cleaner*
literally everyone: *WHEEZE*
@@ThrashRat plus jschlatt just has a talent
maybe u just suck
OldSpiceCommercial Damn you OldSpiceCommercial... you stole my words
Situation + delivery = profit
666 likes
The speech for Schlatt 2020 should just be half of it
Tom Everyone in Carson’s chat was saying no to having the “debates” when he joked about having them at the talent show
As a cannidate
Schlatt: “There’s no domestic violence going on”
Wilbur: “ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT”
God can there be atleast ine video where people dont bring this shit up
@@dorabukovics4337no
3:22 “where there’s a will”
*stares at Wilbur intensity*
*stares at Wilbur intensity*
*Stares at Wilbur intensity*
stares at Wilbur intensity
_stares at Wilbur intensity_
*_stares at Wilbur intensity_*
They call him talent man. That’s all they’ve ever called him.
If only we could go back to this time, when shit was simpler
I can still watch this videos without being sad lol
Ikr
Yes
every time i head technoblades voice or name i feel really happy but then i remember that he’s gone i just sit there in silence like “oh.”
Theres a deep lore and timeline formulated in the jokes and I want someone to put it in chronological order .
And I want someone to formulate the story chronologically.
yES
He did say them in order
I have respect for Schlatt holding in his laughter during this...
FuNnY bIt
Funny people sometimes dont consider themselves / their jokes funny
@@boaz7028 it's kind've arrogant if you do
Best of luck
Tweet Tweet17 what’s so funny about a blt? It’s just a sandwich
nba2khood ironymoments It’s an uppercase, i...
''I never knew my real ladder''
That was the funniest shit i have ever heard with my tiny goblin ears.
_Schlatt will always be president in my heart._
hello mr samber
hello mr samber
schlatt you are socially and economically the most competent person in the world
I mean economically it's because he does whatever B O N K tells him to
@@esaug644 Волк*
And they said our sense of humour has devolved
Jschlatt: Tells jokes without punchlines
Everyone: imma laugh at this man's whole career
Tyty Afonso i don’t want to wooosh you, but the joke here was that there’s no punchline..:
@@AMMARvx r/
It took me a solid 15 seconds to understand this comment. Underrated
that one guy in carsons stream : Please please just say the punchline!
shlatt: *tells joke*
*for once no one laughs*
llama: I THINK IM BOUT TO STEAL
aw man wheres the part where everyone leaves while schlatt is still telling jokes and wilbur comes back in and just stares at him XD
"I hope that when I inevitably choke to death-"
*Wilbursoot has left the game*
but every five minutes the water rises
I like your pfp
The president will now SchlattWalk™ to the SchlattHouse™ to change the international currency to SchlattCoin™
Æ
K 4 T C H Y the Cuck Shed is prison
The rich get richer
æ
700th like!
Wilbur and Travis were so precious in this episode 🥺
no
oh boy
@@remedy07 yeah this didn’t age well.
Travis laughing at the llama was so wholesome oh my god
This sounds like he’s reading out the ramblings of a madman from a notebook
it's his diary
I was feelin down again about techno’s death today and hearing his voice randomly at the end scared the shit out of me
hearing carson trying to speak japanese made me cry laughing oh my god
okay but travis’s laugh made this video 10x better
*"i hope that...when i inevitably choke to death-"*
*wilbur soot left the game*
Y'see this is why they call him Mr. -
mR whaT???
Say half the joke
Blue Sky
Please Tell Us Why
Laiser You had to hide away for so long
I thought ur boyfriend won?
*Wilbur found in a corner singing the Squid song for spare change*
wilbur did say that schlatt won
w8 what boyfriend
@@chromyl_chloride it's just the shippers at it again. Wilbur and schlatt are just friends
@@wetsock5415 too late i've gone down the rabbit hole
wet sock not shipping just playing along lmfao wilbur literally joking around with “im in love chat”
0:15 holy shit i just realized that when carson approaches schlatt and schlatt turns around there’s just a fuckign cave sound
jschlatt : hi,
the crowd : *dies of laughter*
To everyone saying that Wilbur will be angry at Schlatt saying that he won, you have to remember that Wilbur himself wanted Schlatt to win.
"In the future, humor will be randomly generated."
This is a whole new format of joke telling ive never even considered and am now going to use exclusively from now on, thanks schlatt
Look at the Twitter account Cropped Boomer Memes, it's pretty much just this but in picture form
Dont forget after evry joke you tell
I'm going to tell you a riddle
Only Schlatt could make this funny.
Coming back to this after Tommy's talent show vid, glad to see the jokes still hit.
Same
I broke my neck recently, and these videos keep me from losing my mind because I can't move my neck
Well hey, at least you ain't fuckin dead
I broke my neck recently.
@@zakbrown6654 nice
May I ask how?
@@angryman6268 ok so I was sleeping on a bunk on the top in this dorm room. And so in the middle of the night I get to rolling and I roll off since it had no railing. There was this cabinet thing next to the bed. My neck hit the cabinet, while the rest of my body did not. Luckily my roommates woke up and called the ambulance.
Carson's Japanese is the most scuffed thing ever, I love it
And me trying to decipher what words he is even -saying- butchering and hurting on the inside
it took me a while to realize it was japanese lmao
I love how Pete’s laugh is just “HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!”
pete laughing at schlatt's jokes is literally the best thing ever
Kpoop
good job jschlatt, next you become president!
Maybe he already is?
Watching old videos right now, and Techno just appearing halfway through the video really hit me in the feels
Jschlatt: when I first got a universal remote I thought to myself
His thoughts: *SNORTING*
"when there's a will..."
*looks at wilbur*
Ikhmal Zikry i dont get it
y_w Wilbur’s name can be shortened to Will
3:22 gets me every single time just “where there’s a will” *stares at Wilbur*
“I hope that when I inevitably choke to death”
...A bit risky making those jokes with ur Diet Coke fiasco
K G what happened?
@@ceecie5776 He started choking on a tekkit stream and eventually stopped streaming that day because of it
Wait is techno on smplive or schlatt just friends with techno now
arko ill they’re just friends but he might come on now bc he has the ip
Kaamjeta if he does lmao
He did get onto the server but left after someone got a hit on him plus he wasn’t streaming
"Now there is a green door..."-traves
both
i envy his talent for comedic timing
schlatt: *breathes*
traves: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAH
This is just the laugh track from The Big Bang Theory
Everyone: Laughs at Jshlatt saying a random nonsensical sentence.
Travis: Laughs at a lama
This is literally the embodiment of “there is a room in Minnesota”
huh?
@@user-lp2vz7jx7c I’m guessing that’s the whole joke. There is a room in Minnesota
I’m only buying merch if you promise you’ll kiss my babies on camera like the other politicians
alternatively he'll slap the babies out of your arms and stomp on them
nat2bencat his first move as president is to ban all children, they’re bad for the economy
@@janeseymour3872 hot
@@janeseymour3872 what the fuck...
jane seymour babies don’t pay taxes and ruin the economy #banbabies
Me : getting ready to watch minecraft monday
jschlatt : i just wanna die peacefully in my sleep
Me 2
Omg same
Like my grandfather
when does it start tho
agree
God this was such a good era of youtube
Wait this means schlatt can go to the green door schlatt you have to discover what’s on the other side from my information nobody has came back from over there