It’s NOT Your Personality, it’s Your Anxious Attachment

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 ต.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 144

  • @aooa25259
    @aooa25259 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +214

    Why do i feel so connected to her, like she's a friend. Big sister vibes

    • @cookiemonsterrr5116
      @cookiemonsterrr5116 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Yeah exactly 💯 its like she's on our side ❤

    • @rebekahpowers1595
      @rebekahpowers1595 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Because She’s fucking Gold!!

    • @thealmansoori46
      @thealmansoori46 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Me too i felt that i really want what is her zodiac sign.. if shes gemini i wont be shocked

    • @KingaAnnaItalianslowliving
      @KingaAnnaItalianslowliving 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Me too🌸🤗✨

    • @syuhadahfauzi6864
      @syuhadahfauzi6864 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Me too❤

  • @cleoharding
    @cleoharding 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +81

    “Allow your adult self to do the things that are scary so your inner child feels safe in the experience of being with you.”
    Wow. Done it again Margarita, ordered your book and can’t wait to get stuck in, you’ve helped me realise so many things within myself and relationships, can’t thank you enough 👏

  • @apeaceofdom
    @apeaceofdom 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +40

    I remember having to wait for my dad some nights after he promised to pick me up for a weekend and he would never show up! I remember staying up late watching the news and thinking something must have happened because it was no way he just forgot about me. Growing up I learned my dad just had his own issues that prevented him from showing up but he tried his hardest to make things up but the damage was done and reflects a lot in my relationships and friendships as an adult. I get very anxious when I don't hear from someone for a long time or they don't reply to my messages or calls! Its almost like I feel so unimportant and worthless to them and I know its important that heal that part of me and find ways to reaffirm myself that I am worthy and important and those things aint determined by anyone else's actions outside of me because they are just living in their own world too.

  • @pacattack6772
    @pacattack6772 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    "what did you want raul" is my new mantra to connect to my inner child

  • @kelly.nicole
    @kelly.nicole 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +52

    Also that color on you!!🔥🔥

    • @BipolarGrog
      @BipolarGrog 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yes we love sexy, expensive, wise queen 👑

  • @aooa25259
    @aooa25259 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +30

    Please make one on how it manifests in the body

  • @Silver_060
    @Silver_060 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +32

    I definitely have childhood trauma my mum was such a narcissist and would guilt trip us her whole life. Love to hear your advice it's changed the way I deal with things in such a calmer way. Do you have any more marriage videos coming up? Dealing with conflict and resolution in a marriage would be so so helpful

    • @Khaegch-favh
      @Khaegch-favh 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Same . Glad you're working through it ❤

  • @MarieAK
    @MarieAK 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    I have commented on your posts/videos several times but I just want to say Margarita I almost cried when you mentioned the guilt of not being productive. Being raised in a Hispanic family as the oldest and a female we are conditioned to be slaves and cater to others! Although now I am comfortable with saying no and being late to functions so that no one depends on me or takes advantage of me I still struggle with relaxing. If it is my day off I create an itinerary of all the things I need to get done before I enjoy my day, as if I have to earn it! Thank you for speaking on many things because sometimes we forget what we need to work on or address

  • @samanthap5744
    @samanthap5744 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

    Margarita you are amazing! I struggle with anxious attachment and absent feminine energy. My mother was in and out of rehab my whole life until she died when I was 20. Bless my father he did his best he refused to put up with my mom no matter how much I begged him to let her come back. He seemed to not know what to do with me except raise me to the best of his ability (like a boy). I had next to zero feminine influence my whole childhood. I’ve been binge watching your videos I love how it seems like you talking to me directly. I wish I had the strength to apply your concepts to my life I find in reality difficult to observe my emotions without getting swallowed by them. I’ll keep trying! Thanks for all the wonderful content ❤️

    • @nakitanash
      @nakitanash 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Your words sound beautifully feminine ❤

    • @samanthap5744
      @samanthap5744 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It’s been a long journey to get to where I’m at now I’ll be 35 next month. Still lots of work to do on myself. Thank you for your kindness 😊❤️

  • @ipekdogan211
    @ipekdogan211 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Therapy is extremely helpful but honestly journaling is a lifesaver for mental health! Thank you so much for making these videos Margarita, I can't wait to buy and read your book

  • @kelly.nicole
    @kelly.nicole 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    You’ve inspired me to start my own channel like this. You’ve changed my life !!!!

  • @fhjfhdgh
    @fhjfhdgh 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I want to deepply thank you for for your content. As a guy, I have learned so much from you, not just about the feminine perspective but also about myself, as alot of the things you talk about easily apply to everyone. You helped me understand past relationships much better and made me more aware for future ones. You're doing something very important here, and you do it masterfully.

  • @annamariekelly-xv7ml
    @annamariekelly-xv7ml 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Your videos have made such an impact in my life. I am an anxious attachment.. and I’m with a man who is a dismissive avoidant. We have been together for a year.. and to videos have helped me see things so much more clearly about my relationship,

  • @TheHasa13
    @TheHasa13 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I've never had someone explain so much of the issues I struggle with now so well. So validating knowing I'm not the only one, and helps me to try tackle these problems that make me unhappy

  • @emilymenjivar6138
    @emilymenjivar6138 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I’m going to use this comment section as a journal entry because I think your video has brought things to light I my heart.
    I feel like I can relate deeply to the “parenting your parents”
    “Afraid of getting in trouble”
    Which has led me to realize my motives for many other reactions I’ve had with others in life.
    Thank you for these discussions. They’re truly helpful.

  • @eduardorojas7130
    @eduardorojas7130 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    As a man I find your content so inspiring and insightful, you are like that female friend or big sister that many of us lack, I will like to thank you, been a man with Anxious Attachment it’s really hard, can you make a video or if someone can point me to a existing video on your views on anxious attachment but before the relationship, I believe there are a real struggle just before the start of a relationship because we already has chose someone that may not be choosing us back, and that phase when you are start to knowing someone can be really messy when you are anxiously attached since you give then so much power right at the beginning. Thanks for your content :)

  • @Lynnpriscilla
    @Lynnpriscilla 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Just listening to this video started to give me triggers. I have a lot of healing to do but thankful to go through this.

  • @helenadockx4587
    @helenadockx4587 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    So recognizable! It isn't until you point out this is childhood trauma that you really understand these and "deconnect" it from your personality. I'm really grateful to see this now 🙏 I am definitely the one who is always rushing, wants to be on time and feeling guilty when not being productive. I am together with an avoidant who has done a lot of self work and has really challenged me to not come on time on purpose 😂 I'm learning to not be the perfect person everyone likes, but I still find it challenging to accept that you cannot control everything as long as you're "prepared" enough ...

  • @nnotmybestwork
    @nnotmybestwork 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Margarita, thank you so much for everything you are sharing and creating. It’s unbelievably important for me to have an example of person who got from anxious to secure, because I am trying to fix it for 7years of my life from my seventeen and was ready to kinda up on that. You help me to keep going and believing one day I will be connected to myself deeply and care about myself more than about others. I started to read Attached and got into the chapter where they are saying about questions to people who are secure, how they react, how they treat their feelings and I was like «yeah, easier to say, than do, when you are anxious from your childhood». I don’t have anybody around me who got from anxious to secure and it seems it can be so helpful to make a video about it. How you changed, how you talk to yourself right now vs how it was before, so we can «gaslight» ourselves into secure person’s actions and reactions. It could be so so helpful!

  • @SunnyCzechD
    @SunnyCzechD 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I just bought your book. Thank you so much. You are amazing and very spot on❤

  • @mica7153
    @mica7153 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I just bought your book on Spotify and I LOVE IT THANK YOU

  • @oambitiousone7100
    @oambitiousone7100 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    My ex would mull over life decisions for weeks, months, years.
    Made me feel itchy inside to hear him talk and do nothing.

  • @annamarsch6091
    @annamarsch6091 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    Delayed emotions are a powerful mechanism to shield you from blows, so you can process them later in safety and after you have thought them trough. I dont think its a bad thing as lons as you dont get stuck in it and avoid the emotianal impact altogether.
    fiiting into different groups easiely and keeping them apart was very interesting. I do that and never connected it back to some trauma. i have been trying to handle that differentlc lately, you mentioning it gave me food for thought, thank you very much

  • @cartermoon3561
    @cartermoon3561 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    You have single handedly helped me regain myself through one of my most traumatic moments of my life. Thank you.

  • @enissa3536
    @enissa3536 หลายเดือนก่อน

    It’s so amazing how we can feel the same emotions even we grow up so far away from one another… it’s not WHERE, it’s HOW… the same bad environment and here we are as adults… struggling to be “normal” and to feel normal… I am so sad I have to deal with all of this on a level 100 intensity… I hope there is a way out of this misery.

  • @islandgurlpurple
    @islandgurlpurple 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Margarita I look up to you a lot. I consider you to be a mentor to me, lowkey like a spirit guide. You really helped me with my anxious attachment. And since I discovered you about two years ago, I have regularly consumed your content (TH-cam, Tik Tok, Podcast and I’m going to buy your book). Because I look up to you and see you as someone who really has their shit together, it’s very reassuring to hear that you still struggle with these things.

  • @Petra.Stepankova
    @Petra.Stepankova 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Thank you for this video, I can relate 100%. I would really like to hear about how the trauma manifests in the body 🙏

  • @janetdemania4394
    @janetdemania4394 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This resonates with me completely however, I am always late and constantly running. I'm really always trying to get so much done in a day. I just look for love and freedom. I probably should just comfort my child self.

  • @misha_ry8476
    @misha_ry8476 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thank you so much for making this video Margarita, I don't know why but I am crying during this whole video, I feel like you are talking to me directly and understanding all of he things that happened to me. I have watched almost all of your videos and I am excited every time you post a new one, please continue to do your good work, you are so valuable

  • @MorenitaBonita19
    @MorenitaBonita19 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    So many of these are me..especially the not liking to wait for responses and the rushing/can’t let the ball drop, and golden child syndrome…just downloaded The New Rules 🤍 Also please make a video about how this anxiousness shows up in the body. ✨

  • @cynthiah2201
    @cynthiah2201 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    So many gems in this one!

  • @djkayshay
    @djkayshay 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    My favorite thing now is showing you off!!! I send your link to all of my girlie's bc we all can benefit ❤😂 Thanks again, and how cool is your name and you just in general. Idc if I'm corny but you are The cool chick boss muma ✨️😎

  • @tansytansy
    @tansytansy 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    i love how real your advice is in all the videos! it's coming from actual experience and that shows

  • @angelas6317
    @angelas6317 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Im ukrainian so its amazing how i connect with her words. Very relatable. Always on point!!

  • @CJenkins-tu5bw
    @CJenkins-tu5bw 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I don’t know how you know what you do but all your information is so relatable to me.

  • @nazwhal9076
    @nazwhal9076 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    it seems like every part of me is stemming from from this.. thank you so much for sharing your wisdom Margarita!

  • @Nuggiejj
    @Nuggiejj 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Oh wow, you said my name! Scared me to death, but hit so hard!

  • @Emily-ke9xb
    @Emily-ke9xb 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thanks, Margarita! I really enjoy watching/listening to you

  • @shanounoumonde6878
    @shanounoumonde6878 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I did not expect to cry to this video. We are all going through so much!

  • @eatsmartcoaching
    @eatsmartcoaching 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    So relatable. The rushing especially 😢

  • @edithamaliaioo2228
    @edithamaliaioo2228 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Wow, you showed me that I am still struggling with anxiety, thank you! I was under the inpression that I have it under control, I have mutiple groups that do not mix :))))) i was not aware that is a sign of trauma :( anyway, please keep this kind of video , are very useful, thank you again!

  • @falloutbun4156
    @falloutbun4156 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    You're amazing! So spot on everytime! I always feel you open my eyes and I feel so much better after listening

  • @sahrishmansoor3858
    @sahrishmansoor3858 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Your fit, it's beautiful, Margarita! ❤

  • @lou15176
    @lou15176 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Oh the The New Rules book 📖 is magnificent 🙌❤️ thank you Margarita. Already on chapter 4. Full review will be on Amazon once complete x

  • @cartermoon3561
    @cartermoon3561 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I’d love to know how to feel stable within myself. Feel safe with myself as an adult.

  • @ferferreira0fal
    @ferferreira0fal 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I would really like someone who makes content like you for men. Although many of the things you talk about can be seen regardless of gender, it would still be interesting to have a perspective on how a straight man might act with such attachment and what is sexism and what is not.

  • @Sand_sea_
    @Sand_sea_ 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Listening to you and feeling so proud of myself , proud of my progress and how far I’ve grown.. still working and learning things but I’m pretty pleased and happy with myself, that’s something I have never felt before.. thanks to you and all of those who share with us and try to help.. thank you all 💖💖💖💖

  • @LyraMeldy
    @LyraMeldy หลายเดือนก่อน

    this video i just choked almost on it.. must watch in segments couple of times

  • @junesimone
    @junesimone หลายเดือนก่อน

    This is the best thing Ive seen

  • @karenrquinn6200
    @karenrquinn6200 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    As always, you are so spot on.

  • @martalojek
    @martalojek 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    ooooh thanks for putting the ad at the end, the podcast not being interrupted by the ad makes me more interested in the product to be honest :D

  • @utaka78
    @utaka78 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thankyou Margarita✨this video really helps me to understand the dynamics😓i was trying to be a secure partner,but the man i‘m seeing triggeres it anyways in me….still healing🙏🏼

  • @thealmansoori46
    @thealmansoori46 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Omg you mentioned “wanting to be productive all the time” i relate to that… also detachment big time. Its sooo bad

  • @certifi3dlovvergirl
    @certifi3dlovvergirl 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    we need a video on how to cope with these traumas in a relationship!!!

  • @AndreaCasselbrants
    @AndreaCasselbrants 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Wow thanks so much, literally checked all the boxes and here I was thinking I knew myslef so well, barely knowing I have an anxious attachment style…

  • @ЮлияКацарска-к8г
    @ЮлияКацарска-к8г 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you so much for sharing all those meaningful observations. You're helping me a lot!

  • @kaitstaley3888
    @kaitstaley3888 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This one was very relatable, even sorta hard to hear. I had a similar upbringing as well so can relate to these reactions to trauma. Would love to hear how it manifests in the body like you mentioned! Thank you!

  • @madalina088
    @madalina088 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    F**k!!!!!! All boxes checked 😭 buuut I've aknowledge them some time ago, I'm 35 now,and I no longer want to please others in order to like me and I do say no,and I no longer work myself till frustration just to become useful

  • @BalladofJanine
    @BalladofJanine 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you for explaining this so well. I totally understood these two different attachments better. And oh boy...do i get it. Thanks again darling

  • @michelleclayton3574
    @michelleclayton3574 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you Margarita, for this and all of the wisdom and content that I have heard from you so far. It has resonated so much with me and has helped open my eyes to how I have been coping with my childhood traumas. I don't want to just "cope" through this life....I want to LIVE!
    BYE THE NEW BOOK! It is beyond helpful. I am reading it for a second time now and have only had it a week lol. There is so much wisdom from Margarita in her new book. BUY THE BOOK!!! 😘

  • @TheWellKeptLife
    @TheWellKeptLife 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I would love a video chat about how uncertainty/instability manifests in the body. I definitely feel I have some affects myself but I’d love to hear your take and any thought on healing those parts of ourselves/body

  • @marylynn259
    @marylynn259 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    My biggest problem, thanks for the video!

  • @sugarspunsubs
    @sugarspunsubs 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Yes, please make a video about manifestations in regards to the body ❤

  • @zulupilotgirl
    @zulupilotgirl 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Magarita you’re the best thing that has ever happened to myself & my mental health, thank you !

  • @jenniferklopman2557
    @jenniferklopman2557 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    For me, personally, I have delayed reactions because I have to sort out for a while if my feelings are appropriate. It sucks

  • @susannyloves
    @susannyloves 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    So much information here. I’d never heard it explained quite as well as this before.
    Thank you. 💛

  • @Catarinast
    @Catarinast หลายเดือนก่อน

    She is my best friend right now❤

  • @joy_linaa
    @joy_linaa 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Благодарю вас, Маргарита!
    Узнала себя во многих пунктах.

  • @Ms21stCentury
    @Ms21stCentury 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Every single one of these fit me. I always thought I didn't reply to text messages due to some undianosed ADD/ADHD (or autism?!) but I see now that it was because I could cerebrally process the information but not process it enough emotionally to the point of being able to send a meaningful reply. So my text messages would go unanswered for days sometimes. I've gotten *much* better because I know it creates distance between me and people I'm trying to be friends with, but still I've wondered why I struggle so much. Because I will literally want to reply but cannot put together a response. So thank you so much!! I can put those anxieties to rest and work on the real issue.
    BTW, when your Whoop when off, I thought I had gotten a notification my camera doorbell had gone offline again lol

  • @tifaweaver3109
    @tifaweaver3109 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    You're amazing, been listening to your book!

  • @graceoleary1439
    @graceoleary1439 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Your blouse is everything 🥰

  • @lou15176
    @lou15176 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Oh the cracking jokes thing!! Why do we do that?! We do it about all kinds of stuff, and the sarcastic comments as well. I always do that too 😂🙈 x

  • @LadyO_05
    @LadyO_05 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    My sugar booger bear is ALSO turning 4 tomorrow! 💙
    I found your account last week - i absolutely love your content! I see you! 🫶🏻

  • @husnahwasim
    @husnahwasim 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you for this video, so many things i feel i can relate too! The detachment part really hit home and I didnt even realise I was doing this, thank you for your gems ❤

  • @Sarah-zq6tp
    @Sarah-zq6tp 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Please do a video on how it manifests in the body!!

  • @SaraZ1239
    @SaraZ1239 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I just love this woman

  • @allisonshaffer1975
    @allisonshaffer1975 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Yes to how it applies to your body

  • @lauren_08
    @lauren_08 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    I never understood why I seemed to fit in with every category of different types of people and now it makes sense. Thank you for revealing that to me 🫶🏽

  • @яруся-в3ж
    @яруся-в3ж 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    thank you 🤍

  • @Mahroo-so5vd
    @Mahroo-so5vd 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Launch and adjust✌🏻

  • @suraiyatiana2696
    @suraiyatiana2696 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    please make a video on how it manifests in the body

  • @antoinette2565
    @antoinette2565 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Loved this! Thank you❤❤

  • @stinarlhzbj57
    @stinarlhzbj57 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Literally my hero 😩❤️

  • @borbala6849
    @borbala6849 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This was a really good one! I related to a lot of these and your advice at the end was very helpful 🙏🏼

  • @Kristinewildnfree
    @Kristinewildnfree 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thank you for your input, it was enlightening!

  • @hyaakanma7179
    @hyaakanma7179 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Love love love your book btw 💜💜💜

  • @ramenscreams231
    @ramenscreams231 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    thank you so much Margarita.. i've been watching so many of your videos and like someone said, you're truly like a big sister i've never had:")) i find myself relating to a lot of things that you say, and it's nice to know the reasons behind some things + im not alone.
    recently i went through a breakup with avoidant ex and although it's difficult, i have your gold pieces of wisdom to carry me along :")) and like you said, the only way is through the storm.
    thank you for being here for us in ways that you might never know of, i appreciate you so much!

  • @RRminiatureHD
    @RRminiatureHD 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I love your videos soo much ! Thank you ! ❤️❤️❤️

  • @jayjaytailor
    @jayjaytailor 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Are you studying to be a psychologist/therapist Margarita? If not, you should be......I would come and see you, for sure!!

  • @noorrderaz
    @noorrderaz 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    loved this video. love this type of content

  • @mariestoicescu5742
    @mariestoicescu5742 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Could you please talk about how it can manifest in the body?❤❤❤that would be so helpful ❤

  • @AnushkaChauhan-z4t
    @AnushkaChauhan-z4t 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Love your content , Gurlll You have changed my life , Thank you so much , May god bless you and your family :}

  • @abby7270
    @abby7270 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I’m alway overthinking 😱😱😱everything

  • @hmmemz1654
    @hmmemz1654 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Hi margarita, I was wondering if you could make a video on navigating a toxic work environment with the essence of keeping that femininity. I’m currently in the process of leaving my job and have been navigating that using my dark feminine energy with a hint of light femininity. I would love your perspective on this topic 🙏

  • @Doors-and-Crosscheck
    @Doors-and-Crosscheck 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    That green on you tho 😰❤️🔥

  • @lou15176
    @lou15176 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I am overreacting to this video as I have so many comments 😂
    Tip for anyone that struggles with waiting for replies or jumping on their phone 📱 every 10 seconds. Disable notifications and set an alarm for say maybe 1 hour and practice not even looking at it, never mind replying to anyone! This helps also with phone addiction as like or not we all have it 😊 x

  • @kali5587
    @kali5587 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you! 🎉

  • @rebekaprodanovic9010
    @rebekaprodanovic9010 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    TOP podcast!!!!! TOP!!! Thank you!

  • @jennalavena
    @jennalavena 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    hey!! love ur content. keep it up!

  • @rachelmalina2523
    @rachelmalina2523 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    “Someone at whoop, make that go away”
    🤣