I Almost Died | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 199

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 1.6K

  • @Piggyn
    @Piggyn ปีที่แล้ว +140

    Bert a couple weeks ago: I'm jacked.
    Photo at baseball game: 😐
    Bert now: A spray tan can hide all that.

  • @GLo1991
    @GLo1991 ปีที่แล้ว +312

    Bert obsessed with not getting skin cancer while simultaneously getting drunk and taking Xanax every night is hilarious

    • @sentientcardboarddumpster7900
      @sentientcardboarddumpster7900 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I'm sure he takes more than he admits. Not the kind of thing you can do casually

    • @GLo1991
      @GLo1991 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@sentientcardboarddumpster7900 uh-huundred-percent

    • @joeshmoe562
      @joeshmoe562 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      someone should telll him benzodiazepines cause alzheimer's '

    • @GLo1991
      @GLo1991 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@joeshmoe562 indeed they should. The drinking will only increase that risk too. It’s gonna be a bummer when all this catches up with the guy

    • @johnnolen2781
      @johnnolen2781 ปีที่แล้ว

      I'm sure he takes less than he admits. You'd be surprised at the things you can do casually. He also very clearly exaggerates it so that he can get more interaction from people like you and OG comments. Simple marketing@@sentientcardboarddumpster7900

  • @JaeHimself
    @JaeHimself ปีที่แล้ว +162

    Tom: Did you hear about the roast this year?
    Bert: No.
    Tom: You didn't know they do that every year?
    Bert: No.
    Tom: You didn't hear anything at all?
    Bert: No.
    Tom: Ok well, this year it was umm..
    Bert: Jessica Kirson.

  • @jakedummy
    @jakedummy ปีที่แล้ว +53

    I love how Bert said he’s been talking too much lately especially about himself, and then spent the rest of the episode doing exactly that .

  • @twodeepmatt
    @twodeepmatt ปีที่แล้ว +463

    Bert's complete delusion about how he looks is always incredible.

    • @fatguyonalittlebike3336
      @fatguyonalittlebike3336 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      It’s like Enny and his ability to do things he’s never done and beat everyone 😂

    • @Vex319
      @Vex319 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      him thinking hes sexy and incredible looking is peak comedy, he must genuinely have something wrong with him though lmao

    • @il94z12
      @il94z12 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Vex319he’s a complete joke himself. He’s delusional

    • @dogg92
      @dogg92 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      ​@@Vex319Him insinuating that his stomach only looks fucking disgusting in that one picture is peak comedy.

    • @bringinfunny1
      @bringinfunny1 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Bert isn't funny. If annoying is funny, sure he's aces! If not, then not so much. Tom on the other hand is hilarious!

  • @SincereDoper
    @SincereDoper ปีที่แล้ว +3

    It's so nice of Tom to spend so much of his free time with someone in their final years of life. Most people can't take it, due to how depressing it is being around someone who is clearly about to die. Thanks Tom, the world needs more men like you!

  • @marshallplan651
    @marshallplan651 ปีที่แล้ว +1107

    Theo wants his glasses back Tom! Poor guys out here without his disguise.

    • @_TMac_13_916_
      @_TMac_13_916_ ปีที่แล้ว +12

      😂😂😂😂😂

    • @archibaldcreep1
      @archibaldcreep1 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Very nice sun glasses

    • @georgeedward602
      @georgeedward602 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      The first thing I noticed and don't know what to think... it's a love-it-hate-it thing..lol

    • @morganst.pierre
      @morganst.pierre ปีที่แล้ว +7

      They’re not as comically oversized and ugly as theos pair but the similarity is there

    • @Tametruthfullness
      @Tametruthfullness ปีที่แล้ว +3

      He’s trying to be more like Theo cus of theogate

  • @LocChicago5
    @LocChicago5 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    I wish we could have seen Bert's head going nuts and crying having a nervous breakdown before this episode thinking Tommy was going to replace him with another bear hahahahahaha

    • @dgkphs
      @dgkphs ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I'd pay a monthly subscription to YMH if they removed the annoying narcissist

    • @Js-hu5cm
      @Js-hu5cm ปีที่แล้ว

      Same

  • @GingerBleghMan
    @GingerBleghMan ปีที่แล้ว +430

    Tom's face when Bert said he won comedian of the year
    😂😂😂😂
    I'm fucking crying

    • @to8860
      @to8860 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      LOL....he's not in the top 40!!!!!!

    • @macktheturtle5890
      @macktheturtle5890 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I’m from bend Burt, no bears here but your ass… also please come back hit up zydeco we love you!!!

    • @Madagon367
      @Madagon367 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      To be fair I don't think anybody really thinks he's a great standup. Just watch his last special. But he 100% did amazing things for comedy and many many comedians these last couple of years. The way he does his promos, the tour and everybody he has on there, the podcast, how he is working his ass off etc. So I guess for everything combined give him his award.

    • @Berdymadafakas
      @Berdymadafakas ปีที่แล้ว +29

      ​@@macktheturtle5890are you having a stroke bro

    • @jan.plays.guitar
      @jan.plays.guitar ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@Madagon367100% agreed. He’s happy now and won’t be there forever, let him have it and he did do all that stuff.

  • @MyBlitz7
    @MyBlitz7 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    21:40 Bert trying to show off his spray tan and all I can focus on is the guy begging him to stop drinking 💀

    • @ravensclawtemplar
      @ravensclawtemplar ปีที่แล้ว

      Oh you're right I didn't even read the comments at first. I think he will reign his drinking in eventually. He has the money to be able to spend time getting sober. Not that that makes it automatically easy, but a lot of the usual hurdles for getting into rehab are already laid down for him. Hopefully he won't hit rock bottom first. I'm sure he feels untouchable like consequences are never going to happen to him.

  • @jor5309
    @jor5309 ปีที่แล้ว +248

    Bert bringing a whole new meaning to the phrase “if you can’t tone it, tan it”

    • @andrewcampbell9mm
      @andrewcampbell9mm ปีที่แล้ว

      Do you think when Bert was banging his wife after the tans he was fantasizing about Louis J Gomez

    • @BPH55
      @BPH55 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Redden it.

    • @squigtonianmayhem4602
      @squigtonianmayhem4602 ปีที่แล้ว

      Funny how he says he wore a thong, yet, his whole ass is white! WTF?

    • @Mark-xb7ro
      @Mark-xb7ro ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The amount of time he has talked about his shoulders, jacked, popping, defined Tom must filter the repetitive stuff out.

  • @HotRangus
    @HotRangus ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Another great episode of "Bert Tries To Tell A Story For A While."

  • @Safushiful
    @Safushiful ปีที่แล้ว +18

    their advice about talking about your feelings even if it's uncomfortable in the intro is so true. did not expect that from this pod of all things.

  • @SNIPES936
    @SNIPES936 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    This really makes me appreciate and enjoy even more the episodes of 2 bears when Bert's not there.

  • @Hayfever33
    @Hayfever33 ปีที่แล้ว +141

    Tanning to cover up the red bloated skin, a strategy my alcoholic mother used for years

  • @murica8
    @murica8 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I love how amused Tom gets talking to Bert when Bert says silly shit. Tom's face and reaction makes the entire show. So damned great!

  • @deyakson
    @deyakson ปีที่แล้ว +87

    *"I get turned on by myself."* is a peak Brent Schreiber's comment.

    • @impossiblegems
      @impossiblegems ปีที่แล้ว +2

      True narcissist- ever watch American Psycho

  • @chase_k23
    @chase_k23 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    What Brent here is trying to say is that he's more fit and athletic in his 50's than most star athletes are during their prime.

  • @JKimPersonal
    @JKimPersonal ปีที่แล้ว +198

    “Uncomfortable conversations”
    Odd way of pronouncing “Intervention”

    • @mrs.h2725
      @mrs.h2725 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      Curious to see if he ever connects the dots that his inability to control his emotions from overly excited to sobbing mess is from the alcoholic brain damage.

    • @PapaJango37
      @PapaJango37 ปีที่แล้ว

      The Bert hate is becoming corny lol we know he’s a fat drunk😂what do you expect

    • @EvoMonsters
      @EvoMonsters ปีที่แล้ว +3

      LOL you are so right! I was thinking what the convo could have been about but this has to be it. Getting piss drunk more often than before and is affecting their joint businesses.

    • @Js-hu5cm
      @Js-hu5cm ปีที่แล้ว

      Hahahaha

  • @diceydie-c
    @diceydie-c ปีที่แล้ว +9

    That's definitely some Burt logic right there just get a spray tan so you can't see the cellulite don't actually get healthy so it goes away😂😂 Jesus I can't wait to hear what his secret hack is for cirrhosis of the liver😂

    • @republicofcasuals
      @republicofcasuals ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I feel that there is a lot of self-reflection in your comment 🤣

    • @Danteandras123
      @Danteandras123 ปีที่แล้ว

      He already has claimed that testosterone injections “cured” his liver.

  • @higherstandard710
    @higherstandard710 ปีที่แล้ว +103

    Bert and Joe List needs to come on”Taste Buds” since you guys good and hash out that Thai food vs Pizza!! We all want this 😂😂

    • @Podus81
      @Podus81 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Hell yeah

    • @sernastyle
      @sernastyle ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That would be epic

    • @minchoazar2732
      @minchoazar2732 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      someone know which podcast/episode does bert mention about Ari Shaffir and his behavior?

    • @higherstandard710
      @higherstandard710 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Why did my Bert and Ari podcast comment get deleted!? Bert got roofied by Ari and never shown the podcast. Will this be deleted too. Is so they are tying to make this not happen haha

    • @Mr_Dopey
      @Mr_Dopey ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I heard Joe List and Jay Mohr are starting a podcast together.

  • @johnkaligandis5941
    @johnkaligandis5941 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Anyone else notice Tom’s strategy for dealing with ocean currents is the same as talking to Bert? Every time you stop paddling the Bert waves ripping you out to sea. Hes coming at you with a tangential story you gotta duck under and come up the other side and keep swimming. 😂😂😂

    • @allyourbase888
      @allyourbase888 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Is Nadav the lifeguard? 😂

  • @beercavetech
    @beercavetech ปีที่แล้ว +312

    Id really like it if this podcast gave Burnt a talking time limit

    • @fleischer236
      @fleischer236 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Yeah like a chess clock

    • @WingedSoda
      @WingedSoda ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Just stop listening?

    • @beercavetech
      @beercavetech ปีที่แล้ว +34

      @@WingedSodathere’s always that single Brett fan

    • @FreddieJ65
      @FreddieJ65 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I wish the world gave Bart a talking limit. Like a shock collar. Tom needs a "motivational" speaker to remind him he's a ungrateful asshole several times a day.

    • @lillithremedy
      @lillithremedy ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It would be fun for 1 episode to have a clock and limit him to 2 mins at a time

  • @Fireproofwitchnz
    @Fireproofwitchnz ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The photo of Bert and also him describing his tanned body "I looked BEAUTIFUL" 😂 He honestly has amazing self pump up talk 😂

  • @John15293
    @John15293 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    Bret describing the reasons he loses friends like we should feel sorry for him lmao. "I don't see other people" isn't the issue itself, it's knowing this and not feeling the pressure to change for others (therefore prioritising yourself over others). These people who cut ties with Bart are just correct in their judgment that he is a self prioritising narcissist.

    • @republicofcasuals
      @republicofcasuals ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ok, now talk about Bert 🤣

    • @ravensclawtemplar
      @ravensclawtemplar ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Self awareness never absolved anyone of anything. Do better Brent

    • @ovechkin0831
      @ovechkin0831 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      So, you always give the food off of your plate to the homeless hungry guy outside before you take a single bite then? What a stupid take 😂😂😂

    • @reedusurrights2547
      @reedusurrights2547 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ovechkin0831your take the stupid one!, what in the actual F ck does your comment have to do with his at all???

    • @glenhoddinott3799
      @glenhoddinott3799 ปีที่แล้ว

      Everyone should prioritize themself. Nobody else is going to.

  • @JC_wonderland
    @JC_wonderland ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Bert is somewhat of a real life Homer Simpson

  • @TheRealRonRico317
    @TheRealRonRico317 ปีที่แล้ว +90

    You guys sitting down and talking about your feelings is what's going to make your marriage work. You guys are a beautiful couple. #BeefShoulders 🥩 💪

    • @steph7960
      @steph7960 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Until Tom realises, yet again, that Bert has either not learnt anything or just doesn't give enough of a shit.

    • @seae2030
      @seae2030 ปีที่แล้ว

      He should can burnt Chrysler if he won't move to Austin. I doubt they really are best friends

    • @steph7960
      @steph7960 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@seae2030 I think they probably have been, but they re both ego maniacs especially Bert, and starting to become more well known. As, what often occurs when individusls become more famous, that's starting to rear its ugly head in their friendship, as it often does, with these people. They begin to compete with one another.( I.e Bert pretending to mention his crying episode to Tom, when in fact, he really wanted to rub it in that he won" comedian of the year")

    • @birdeffer89
      @birdeffer89 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@steph7960 what is blud saying💀

  • @sydneypage2980
    @sydneypage2980 ปีที่แล้ว

    I love that this is basically Bert being a 5year old just chatting up Uncle Tom for hours. Tom comes home Bert at the door imma tell you about my whole week. Tom smile and nodding 😂

  • @socksignal
    @socksignal ปีที่แล้ว +214

    Bert did more promo for Matt's special than Matt did lol

    • @impossiblegems
      @impossiblegems ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Jealousy is a wild thing

    • @beetox8278
      @beetox8278 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Hi Shane.

    • @cheekywippets9163
      @cheekywippets9163 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I don’t have the willpower to listen/scrub to find the shaman shoutout. Anyone got a time stamp?

    • @stantondavid4435
      @stantondavid4435 ปีที่แล้ว

      Bert’s sense of reality is wild,thinking he looks amazing?? bro you look insane with a spray tan, u have no muscles and big ass belly that’s about it ….But yea buddy you look amazing as you say

    • @boneun1t
      @boneun1t ปีที่แล้ว

      @@cheekywippets9163 32:48

  • @F3RAL3NTITY
    @F3RAL3NTITY ปีที่แล้ว +1

    41:44 toms control is fucking unreal. I love Bert entirely but I would have BULLIED his ass for that💀

  • @hunterstarkey5089
    @hunterstarkey5089 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    With each passing day, Bert manifests new ways to mask his weight. His most recent venture being spray tan

  • @bobbert24
    @bobbert24 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    21:28 - Bert out here looking like DJ Khalid

  • @_yooniversal_
    @_yooniversal_ ปีที่แล้ว +44

    Friends fight but also drunks react irrationally to a simple pizza instead of thai 😂 have a nice week everyone

    • @salamimamii2912
      @salamimamii2912 ปีที่แล้ว

      Not to mention joe doesn’t drink LOL

  • @nicholashodges460
    @nicholashodges460 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Bert is a real artist he feels like a man should in these times he loves well and those feelings are undeniable

  • @mnmsaregood1
    @mnmsaregood1 ปีที่แล้ว +206

    Bert is embarrassed about his shirtless picture but will do literally nothing about it

    • @neighborbruce
      @neighborbruce ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Hell somehow convince himself that it's the angle of the camera and the position of the sun that caused him to look like that

    • @bobsterapper
      @bobsterapper ปีที่แล้ว +5

      But he did a Spray tan 🤷🏼‍♂️

    • @MassiveScore
      @MassiveScore ปีที่แล้ว +5

      He thinks getting a spray tan is doing something about it

    • @Dakotarob2003
      @Dakotarob2003 ปีที่แล้ว

      Bro he’s a famous multimillionaire that’s built an empire behind his name and ur a nobody who r u to judge😂

    • @KZ_MMA-KZ
      @KZ_MMA-KZ ปีที่แล้ว

      Except for keep drinking

  • @MikeH7186
    @MikeH7186 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    Bert just keeps finding ways to avoid losing weight and being healthy. Somehow now spray tanning is the next excuse.

  • @drunkngenius22
    @drunkngenius22 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Tom starts out with a funny bit,
    Bert: let’s just start talking about me right away

  • @JamesMoniyaw
    @JamesMoniyaw ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Tom out here looking like a guess who card

  • @ABN_TNKR
    @ABN_TNKR ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Maybe some day again soon we will get to enjoy guest Bears. So glad we got an hour of Brent’s spray tan.

    • @ryanalexander984
      @ryanalexander984 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Maybe Tom will start doing Tom Talks again. Then we won’t have to listen to his wife or Bert ruin his commentary.

  • @Sutterbombz
    @Sutterbombz ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Tom: Man I saw this shit over the weekend
    Bert: SCHREECH
    Tom: so I was looking at..
    Bert: SQUEEEEELLLLLL REEEEEEEEEE I CAN BENCH 450 REEEE FUCKIN VODKAAAA

  • @tsullivan93
    @tsullivan93 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    Brad Pitt and Bradley Cooper already have a podcast, it’s called Two Brads, One Coop

    • @samarcher7498
      @samarcher7498 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Underrated comment

    • @kaerynbass8355
      @kaerynbass8355 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Brilliant

    • @sarahlowell3763
      @sarahlowell3763 ปีที่แล้ว

      This is so good that it needs to become a thing!!!! 👏🏼

  • @martymcdry
    @martymcdry ปีที่แล้ว +6

    That swimming story was the most Tom has talked on an episode of 2B1C ever

  • @WKRP187
    @WKRP187 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    It is funny how everyone thinks that two buddies can't get into it during a night of drinking and still be buddies the next day.

  • @dylanb1522
    @dylanb1522 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I’ve watched nearly 200 episodes of 2B1C and just realized that Bear Tom tickles Bear Burnt’s tummy in the intro graphic. Love it.

  • @jeremykhan887
    @jeremykhan887 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    That photo isn't even close to the worst for him. During that beer thing with Shane Gillis, I paused it at some point and he looked like a burnt out dad with his special needs son.

    • @JP-tc9mj
      @JP-tc9mj ปีที่แล้ว +5

      He was so red and bloated in that beer olympics, I was shocked.

    • @republicofcasuals
      @republicofcasuals ปีที่แล้ว

      Go look in the mirror... "What The Hell Is Even That!"

    • @zeroa69
      @zeroa69 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Him and shane at the downs parade!

  • @EricMrRareAir
    @EricMrRareAir ปีที่แล้ว +1

    22:00 😂😂😂😂 “Thank You” 😂😂😂😂

  • @Timjacks01
    @Timjacks01 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    As much as I love Bart i need more Tom & Theo in my life!

  • @adamhaney2196
    @adamhaney2196 ปีที่แล้ว

    When Tom initially brings up the State of the Industry, you can see the him realize he gets to drop it on Bert and catch his first reaction live. That joy is something we all strive to feel

  • @tyler4418
    @tyler4418 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    A 2Bears episode with Brad Pitt as the guest Bear would be the best 😂

    • @allyourbase888
      @allyourbase888 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It will be better without Burnt. 😂

    • @Frisco_Schills
      @Frisco_Schills ปีที่แล้ว +1

      How could we tell the difference between Brad Pitt and Bard Fletcher?

    • @allyourbase888
      @allyourbase888 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Frisco_Schills If you look closely, Brad sometimes, very, very rarely forgets to wear coverup on his right inside bicep tattoo. That is the only proven method to determine one from the other.

  • @cayciyoung5802
    @cayciyoung5802 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    His stomach is hilarious! 😂 This is the man who says he is in great shape.

  • @DocMalk
    @DocMalk ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Can I be thr 3rd person in the podcast, so I can keep Bert on topic! SO MANY times he talks about something and I want to know the end and he never goes back to finish. 😂

  • @dylanlooney6573
    @dylanlooney6573 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Bert being comedian of the year is like Ben Simmons being MvP of the NBA

    • @republicofcasuals
      @republicofcasuals ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ? Yea, that doesn't make a lick on sense..... you better stick to Lizzo and Sam Smith for your entertainment there buddy 🤣

  • @Neverland4747
    @Neverland4747 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The very best conversation in any podcast ever from y'all bc people in our age group need to start having the hard conversations

  • @Laffhole
    @Laffhole ปีที่แล้ว +6

    bert's explanation of his wife "dating" him again: she has cocktails an got a one time spray tan...

  • @mattcouey2572
    @mattcouey2572 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Goddamn this the Bert Bert Bert show Tom has said like 4 sentences the last 5 episodes lol

  • @5thjonasbrother219
    @5thjonasbrother219 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    i don't think Bert gets why you have the talks. precious gems

    • @zeroa69
      @zeroa69 ปีที่แล้ว

      I figured it was really them shitting on bobby again since he purposefully doesnt answer the phone/text

    • @murderburger1811
      @murderburger1811 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      He's R worded

  • @Matthewtaylorn
    @Matthewtaylorn ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Tom: Rick Rubin is a pretty good surfer...
    Bart: I'M FRIENDS WITH ROB MACHADO!!

  • @MeticulousTechTV
    @MeticulousTechTV ปีที่แล้ว +29

    Bert getting that “overweight advisor to the emperor” voice

    • @papa_pt
      @papa_pt ปีที่แล้ว

      just take out "advisor to the" and you got it

  • @jerowm5568
    @jerowm5568 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    ..damn him talking about that pitch pic hit me when I saw the look on his face & took a huge drink.. I hope this motivates him to make a change and really take getting in shape seriously.. the country need this national treasure around till this recessions over 😂

  • @Mumu108-h5z
    @Mumu108-h5z ปีที่แล้ว +8

    This whole podcast is Bert meeting/getting to know Tom for the first time because he is so far up his own ass he doesn’t see the world around him at all

  • @ranpalmer6045
    @ranpalmer6045 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Burt is describing alcoholism to a T. It's not you burt! It's the sauce!!!! 😂😢😂😢

  • @kevingallagher3
    @kevingallagher3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Bert is so modest. A true shining becon of a Man.

  • @CalvinEast
    @CalvinEast ปีที่แล้ว

    Bert is such a great guy man. Always means well, wants to have a great time and is so enthusiastic about it. Him and ric flair would be great 😂

  • @surgicalfixer1720
    @surgicalfixer1720 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    That picture is Bert’s swollen liver trying to escape.

  • @gregma63
    @gregma63 ปีที่แล้ว

    The Garth "G" Brooks 300 bodies Tulsa, Oklahoma card with a brother in the back is the best thing in the world!! 😂😂😂

  • @keatonclark3017
    @keatonclark3017 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    The ad break as soon as Bert pulls his ass out is perfect

  • @LHuson88
    @LHuson88 ปีที่แล้ว

    This podcast, this friendship, and specifically this episode of 2 bears…. PERFECTION. I laughed SO hard and so much. I absolutely LOVE you guys. The world is brighter in ways you don’t even know because of you both. You 2 make my soul smile and that’s an amazing feeling in this dumpster diarrhea world 😂😂😂😂 never stop what you do 🩵🩵🩵

  • @lacefacethegreat
    @lacefacethegreat ปีที่แล้ว +9

    "Tan fat looks better than white fat!" My former boss told me that when I was 20 and it always stuck with me. 😂

    • @republicofcasuals
      @republicofcasuals ปีที่แล้ว

      Maybe stop letting your boss watch you when your changing 🤣

  • @lukecasio9810
    @lukecasio9810 ปีที่แล้ว

    Tom is a genius; he just encourages Bert/ asks questions and he just goes... Easy work for Tom

  • @sernastyle
    @sernastyle ปีที่แล้ว +5

    36:31 to skip past Bert’s rambling and hear Tom talk

    • @allyourbase888
      @allyourbase888 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You, Sir, are an Internet Hero. 🏆

  • @robertj1777
    @robertj1777 ปีที่แล้ว

    "Drownding?" "Yeah" "yeah, and it should..."😂😅 I'm dying

  • @boojiela
    @boojiela ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Bert has final reached the look of the cgi thing Tom stabbed on his dance video

  • @Vex319
    @Vex319 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    21:30 goddamn he didnt wanna read that top comment lmfao

  • @TheStammzilla
    @TheStammzilla ปีที่แล้ว +17

    I feel like Bert and Tom just need hugs sometimes.

  • @Biologia101-eb2fn
    @Biologia101-eb2fn ปีที่แล้ว

    Swimming in the ocean 2 miles everyday after 30 years of smoking. Three months without smoke and swimming, I look and feel 30 instead of 45. Incredible how the body heals. Swimming 2 miles under an hour already. Very happy.

  • @yurielcundangan9090
    @yurielcundangan9090 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Friends can be drunk and say wild crazy a** shit 😂
    -Bert 2k23😂

  • @napalmdon357
    @napalmdon357 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    At this point. Tom’s just collecting checks lol

  • @kennyprice7441
    @kennyprice7441 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Nice to hear bert shout out the DAWG Matt

  • @eethn
    @eethn ปีที่แล้ว

    28:18 please tell Bert he needs a vinegar bath 😂

  • @tjbailey6896
    @tjbailey6896 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    The beginning of the this episode is the reason I listen to podcasts so I stay out of my head

  • @jayjason2517
    @jayjason2517 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Leann looks younger with a spray tan while Bert looks older with a spray tan. 😂

  • @Frost00586
    @Frost00586 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    This episode.....I feel like I watched this before. I could've sworn I heard you guys talked about surfing and renting the Waco wave pool before.

    • @404Tony
      @404Tony ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You’re right I believe they have talked about going surfing at Kelly slaters wave pool

    • @nathancaliff3796
      @nathancaliff3796 ปีที่แล้ว

      There is no doubt about it. I came to the comments just to see if someone else caught that.

  • @SeanGunn-if8ik
    @SeanGunn-if8ik ปีที่แล้ว

    Dude. I'm ex Royal Navy. And I've done man overboard exercises in the Arctic circle. I volunteered to be the swimmer that jumps off the side of the ship to rescue the man. Hands down one of the best experiences of my life. The ocean is a pimp, and we're it's bitches.
    The Machine was awesome.

  • @twistymcslide2
    @twistymcslide2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    You can literally see Bert's liver in that baseball picture . . . . . . Very cool , he's fine . . . .

  • @typicalscotland2008
    @typicalscotland2008 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Bert not realising he's pissing people off 😂😂 that's what you call arrogance bert

    • @republicofcasuals
      @republicofcasuals ปีที่แล้ว +2

      No, that's just having friends that prefer soy boy lattes and hotdogs topped with weak sauce 🤣

    • @typicalscotland2008
      @typicalscotland2008 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@republicofcasuals true 😆

  • @jeffrycastro3850
    @jeffrycastro3850 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Toms reaction to Bert’s tan line!! “ Oh really great, thank you..” also can someone find me the video of Bert’s speech when he cries

  • @sam_I_may_be
    @sam_I_may_be ปีที่แล้ว

    Bert brings a whole new meaning to body dysmorphia. Like, most people think they’re always too fat. Bert sees a picture with his gut flopping around and is like “I’m jacked, I’m so beautiful” 😂

  • @smolpretty4497
    @smolpretty4497 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    "Joe List and I are friends"
    That goes against everything you've ever said about him on podcasts over the last decade

  • @tylergerber3432
    @tylergerber3432 ปีที่แล้ว

    Bert said “drownding” and Tom was like “drownding?” 🤣🤣🤣

  • @DDrrjj_j
    @DDrrjj_j ปีที่แล้ว +29

    Bert looks like the first male pregnancy ever recorded

    • @republicofcasuals
      @republicofcasuals ปีที่แล้ว

      I bet you thought that was funny in your head.....

  • @christianscacchetti9178
    @christianscacchetti9178 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Love the damage control 😂 Bert is 100% in the wrong in the Joe List situation but chalks it up to just what friends say to each other

  • @29A
    @29A ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Thanks Bert for rep'ing our local Wichita Wind Surge

  • @jeffreymcclellan1717
    @jeffreymcclellan1717 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Bert, its so crazy, I daily get myself into panic , obsessing about skin cancer. And I medicate myself to stop panic attacks. Every new dark spot that shows up, forget it, im certain its bad. Whether it is or not. It runs on my dads side. So eventually, it probably will be but I can appreciate your anguish.
    And Tom, because of you, I now know what I have going on mentally , and in 42 years, several doctors and I couldnt label it. I too have excessive internal monolog, and I very much get in arguments with myself, always outloud. I have never seen another person, other than my mom who has the same condition. So by total accident I woke up and saw you addressing it and there was my " aha, I told you all im not crazy" moment. Just want to say thanks. Btw, purely by accident, i have the same glasses. Well, the " I'm not rich" version anyway.
    How many people have you met with the same condition man? You've been a guy who gets around for awhile so this intrests me quite abit.
    Hopefully you take the time to answer. I know youre busy. But I love that I've found someone with the exact same mental thing as me.
    Side note: no im crazy, I'm not that big of a fan really. I was arrogant like you , and people don't like when a dude argues with himself, and don't like when im always looking up alot, planning out what im going to do. They see a person scheming and plotting they think. Crazy man. I was thinking i was going to be a musician or stand up, but when you live in the armpit of America, you dont stand a chance.
    Im so glad I woke up and saw you talking about this with Christina on YMH.
    Unless your rich, the world has very little use for you. Makes me glad that someone made it. Kudos man

  • @M1NCH_
    @M1NCH_ ปีที่แล้ว +4

    as a german i makes me so proud to hear Bernd say "10 meter dive"

  • @princessstefunny2308
    @princessstefunny2308 ปีที่แล้ว

    21:15 If you can't tone it, tan it! 😂😂

  • @agraves13
    @agraves13 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Tom got to talk so much this episode 😂

  • @Denbot_is_here
    @Denbot_is_here ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Tom mimicking the kids getting wave pummeled had me laughing out loud...

  • @jonw8697
    @jonw8697 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Joe List's new special is fkn hilarious

  • @justinchurch8440
    @justinchurch8440 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Funny how a guy like Bert who is so egotistical can be so popular with people. Dude doesn’t even really listen to anyone else, he’s just chomping at the bit to get his two cents in. It’s all gonna bite him at some point, modesty is the best policy

  • @hernandezclem41
    @hernandezclem41 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Hell yeah. Stuck in traffic in socal and this episode came in clutch! 👌🏻

    • @portal432
      @portal432 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I’m on a farm in Minnesota at the same time and I agree