Things to remember: 1. You don't have to be perfect. Perfect does not exist. 2. Having a bad day is okay. 3. Small steps are also progress. 4. Asking for help is STRENGTH. 5. People love and appreciate you. 6. Your feelings are valid. You are beautiful, you are worthy, you are strong.
As a therapist and a human being I can only tell you to please give therapy a try. I'm sure anyone can benefit from it if they are willing to, and I feel like you are. Honestly I'm super amazed by your forest analogy and how reflective you are about your issues! I work with different personality parts a lot and yeah, I guess I could ramble on forever, basically I just want to give you a hug, cook you a nice meal and tell you to go get some help. You deserve help. You deserve to be happy.
@@Thefitty I specialize in cognitive behavioral therapy, but also throw in methods from other therapy schools if they seem useful for the individual person and problem. I'm a big fan of acceptance and commitment therapy and schema therapy as well :)
@@sarah_kale woow that's soo cool ! What steps did u take to become a cbt therapist? As i'm still unsure whether the long path for clinical psychology is worth it? Or there are other alternatives x ? Sorry if this comes off random , 😊
@@marufgazi9025 No problem :) I did a bachelor and master in psychology, it took me 6 years and I studied in Austria. Then I went back to Germany which is my home country and started postgraduate training in psychotherapy. This takes about 3 to 5 years depending on your specialization and how fast you are with everything you have to do (which is a lot... working in mental hospitals, treating outpatients, supervision, seminars, getting therapy yourself). It's a super long road you have to take to become a therapist in Germany, but I wouldn't trade it for any other job, I love it so so much!
@@sarah_kale woow yes definitely agree, it's a long journey but definitely rewarding :) Thanks for replying back to me..and in Soo much detail✨! I'm glad that ur enjoying this career😇
You have take the first step, actually acknowledging there's a problem is the first and biggest step. I can highly recommend therapy. I'm a lot older you but when I was 23 I had a breakdown down and talking to someone saved me. You are a brave young woman and you will get through this. I'm 50 now and a mature student, my mental health is something I really understand now and can spot when things aren't going so well. Sending you hugs x
you don't realise how incredibly reassuring it is to hear that so many of you have had such positive experiences with therapy! thank you for sharing, it really means a lot to me 💚
If your eye is twitching you're probably lacking magnesium, you can get some at the pharmacy or even in a bigger supermarket :) It happens sometimes, especially if you're very active and/or stressed.
I’ve noticed you even talk about your own mental health struggles in terms of ‘failure’ or an ‘f grade’ and it getting in the way and just wanted to make clear that struggling with mental health in no way makes you inadequate or is a failure! It’s no different from getting a physical illness yet we use such negative and self-blaming language! Just a gentle reminder to be kind to yourself in the way you talk about yourself, hope you get the help you deserve from talking to a therapist ❤️
I've honestly never related to a mental health chat so much, your forest analogy and seeing different versions of yourself is soooo brilliantly thought out xxx
And Holly, girl, the ONE thing I always tell my patients is to BREATHE. That's the most important thing ever and not ridiculous at all! It has to do with your nervous system and how different systems are connected in your body, but to keep it short and simple, deep belly breathing is the one most important thing ever to not loose your shit :D
So true! The analogy is incredibly fitting in that respect!!! 1) First it means that digging deep on your own just makes you your own prisoner inside your head as you get stuck/lost there. 2) Secondly it implements that the only way out is through... Your inner self is the one that has to do the work by ACTIVELY chopping a way through the undergrowth!
I'm so glad to hear this thing. I found myself waiting for you talking about this for a long time. I even ever hesitate to write to you on comment many times. I think you have been saved by yourself. I hope you gradually find ways to make the two of Holly meet each other someday. This process is a huge process of life transformation and life understanding. With love, this is the reason why I keep watching you on TH-cam. Love you from truly of my heart Holly.
"I hope you gradually find ways to make the two of Holly meet each other" . . . i really hope they find each other too 🥺 thank you for your support, it means so much to me 💚
Hey Holy, im a psychology student and I've tried therapy because i had a lot of anxiety. Let me tell you that it has helped me a lot, it literally opens up a new horizon for you, a whole new aspect of life. Therapy helps you train your brain!
I used to have such a problem with telling people about my problems. I always feel like I have to respond positively and not burden someone with what I'm going through. I would bottle EVERYTHING up and then one day I would break down/explode. I have learned to really open up to my friends, family and I got myself a therapist and it has made a WORLD of a difference!
In Sweden this has a name, "perfect girl" syndrome.Basically,long term anxiety folded into insane productivity; where you are left awaiting judgement from others to be sure in your skills and level of professionalism.It is result of unability to react and aknowlage feelings on upsetting matters; often structural sexism/racism/homophobia.Issues are not solved, they are piled up to rot; because work needed is not viewed as work.One of most common "symptoms" is taking responsibility for the mood in the room, or in group while working on a project.
I realllly resonate with your forest analogy! Something I heard this morning on a podcast, which I think you could benefit from hearing too is 'i speed up by slowing down'. 🌟
Holly, we are literally the same. I run my own business and have 2 other jobs and have just started my masters and therapy! Like you I don’t stop, I chose work over friends and chill time. I don’t think I know how to relax and your videos have always made me feel less alone. I’ve decided also that I want to put more time into friendships but lockdown has made that hard. You’re not alone girl, try and take some time for yourself and I will too ❤️
I cannot tell you how much I relate with everything you said. Over the last couple of months I have found that my mental health is not at the best place. For a moment everything feels fine and then suddenly I feel so anxious, nervous and I kind of panic and feel lost.
Perhaps having a day a week that is your 'weekend day'.. No phone no filming or working. Just doing things with your family / things for fun would help x
I can relate so much! I am also a workaholic and I often get so caught up in my work and I try to keep myself busy in order to distract myself from my feelings (which is not always the best way to deal with mental health issues, I know). So thank you so much for opening up, please remember that you are not alone. We will get through this.❤️
I want to share something that is similar to Holly's situation. Every time I get home during school breaks I would stay in my room and lock it. I usually do a lot of productive work and I always try to deal with my problems by myself even if it's pretty bad. I just feel like I want to be in control and capable of dealing with my problems. This is something I have trouble with and still am working on.
that is exactly how i feel, i never want to open up about my problems as i feel as if i can solve them myself. HOWEVER, as i said, i am really trying to change this mindset and get help, because at this point i feel as if i need it!
Holly, I feel you. I'm a perfectionist and a workaholic in June my exam season started and I always put pressure on myself. I struggled a lot mentally due to stress and the current situation we are in with Covid. I also had to move back in with my family; that also caused some difficult situations. It ended with multiple "mental breakdowns" and on top of that, I couldn't feel my left arm. Because of that I had to stay in the hospital for five days. My body couldn't work properly because of my mental state. I had help since then and I am feeling a lot better but I still have problems with my arm. Well, the moral of my story: Ask for help if you are struggeling. I know it is hard, but that's what we need to do to feel better again. Greetings from Germany btw.
Holly, thank you so much for sharing this. I know how hard it can be to open up about your struggles and I find it really brave that you are sharing this with us. I have also struggled with my mental helth for a while and also bottled everything up. I didn’t feel like I could open up to my parents or friends about it but one of my favorite teachers noticed that I wasn’t ok. I finally talked about my problems and it helped me so much. So for everyone reading this: Don’t be afraid of talking about your struggles. Everyone goes through a tough time sometimes, you are not alone and I am 100% sure that many people in your life are willing to listen to you and help you.
holly, it's huge that you've already recognized what your 'failures' are because this means that you can work on them. quotation marks failures because they are struggles right now, but they won't be in the future; they'll become lessons. secondly, it's also huge that you had the courage to recognize that you're not okay at the moment and talk about this realization with the world. keeping you in my thoughts :)
Holly, I love your channel and you have inspired me so much. And you just did so again with your honesty both to your followers and yourself. Keep going, Holly. Best wishes to you!
I just want to give you a hug and say: I really truly understand what you are feeling like, and I wish and know that the things you are scared of aren’t as scary as you perceive them to be. (At last the ones you spoke about in the video). I wish you so much luck with therapy! I really don’t want to give you any advice because I am not a professional therapist, so; I listen and tell you: I understand your struggles and they definitely are justified.
I am honestly so glad you have posted this. I'm now doing a gap year back in my college instead of going to university this year and it's just felt so hard and as much I want to get out of what I call the dark hole, I just don't have the energy to get out of it. Getting help needs to be completely normalised and you have given me the confidence to finally speak up and get help. THANK YOU
holy cow！！i appreciate I can browse to ur reference！I'm going through almost the same thing as u.The only difference between us is that I am not doing a gap in a college,I'm taking a month off from college.When i read what u said like："It's just felt so hard and as much i want to get out of what i call the dark hole."I felt like how similar we r！！As myself,the main reason to cause this fucking dark holeis it's so damn difficult to get used to the new life in college which we almost haven't come back to in eight months.Anyway,I do believe both of us can get through this tough time！！We can definitely kill it！
Hi Holly, thanks for making this video. I understand how you feel and your forest analogy really resonated with me. I’m so glad you decided to get someone else to help forest holly out. In my experience, moving away from the hustle and bustle of life to focus on and “fix” the issue within tends to make things worse. Many times the only problem is the way one thinks and it takes professional help and lots of work to start retraining the brain to think another way. Anyway, I’m rooting for you along your path. You can do it and you are never alone!
lockdown has a lot of people feeling similar. Before lockdown I was going into University everyday attending lectures (which I used to struggle to do due to my social anxiety) and I finally felt like I was enjoying life, then lockdown hit and I stayed in my flat for months alone ( I have hypochondria) I then started to feel isolated and depressed, and worthless and like my life had no purpose. We need to remind ourselves this is all temporary and hopefully this pandemic will be over soon so we can all get back to fully enjoying and living our lives!
I feel the same as you! From one moment to the other everything changed. We had to stay at home. Now university is online again (it´s now the second online semester for me) I just hate it and I feel isolated. It´s so overwhelming. What is hard for me is that literally everyone can go to work AND noone will understand that it´s hard for myself to stay at home and work on my own all the time. it´s also quite hard to think positive right now
Thank you for being so open ♡ I am in therapy for 1.5 years. And I resonate with a lot that you say. I hope you get better and both Hollys can be fine together. Problems sleeping and being tired or hopeless can be signs of depression - so take care.
i was away for 3 months working and was living away from home for the first time in my life. i’m now back and feel very similar to you in many things. i feel like i’m not completely myself and the city that’s seen me grow up, which i’ve always loved deeply, now feels like some sort of psychedelic dream - in a way like the parallel world in coraline. i’ve been trying to see what i’m “missing” about myself and couldn’t figure it out. watching this video i realized that during my time away i gained so much confidence and comfort in myself - and suddenly now i’m back i’ve just lost it all. i might even be more insecure than when i left. so thank you, holly, for unknowingly helping me discover this about my situation. oh, and if anyone happens to read this (lol) and has any tips/insight on what to do, or just wants to rant - please feel free to reply :)
Oh Holly, this entire video is proof that you are SO ready to leave that forest and set yourself free, so CLIMB THAT TREE like you did while on your Australian journey! "Surrender" (throwing your hands in the air) is often the first step in a new direction and finding new successes. Also, a "perfectionist" gets closer to success once they realize they can't be "perfect" or on their "A game" 24/7/365, so JUST DO YOU and JUST BE YOU HOLLY!!! Also, I urge you to watch this video back with an open mind and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised with how much you've really already figured out !!!!! STAY STRONG & STAY HOLLY!!!!! 💚
I've been feeling the same way for years now and I have been diagnosed with BPD, Depression, and anxiety, and the feeling of not being good enough is always there, I thought it was funny (please don't get me wrong) when you said you compare yourself to others (and it is in fact, unfair to you) because I used to compare myself to you! You are so smart, you went to one of the best universities in the world, you always do your work on time and you are just amazing. All I wanted was to be just a little bit as amazing as you are, as intelligent as you are, and knowing you don't feel like you are good enough made me so sad because you are, you are an inspiration for me and others and I want you to know that. I also want you to know you are not alone although it seems so, please be kind to yourself, it is okay not to be okay, please give a serious thought on seeking for help, they really help, I used to have therapy and I went to the psychiatrist and it was so good, it made me realize so many things about myself, please also keep in mind that finding the ideal treatment is hard just as finding the right therapist, but please give it a try,, you deserve that. You are enough and you deserve every opportunity that was given to you, you are amazing, please don't forget that!!!! I hope everything works out for you :) ps.: I apologize so much for the bad English, it is not my mother language but I try. ps2.: Thank you for making this video, I guess it is important to let others know they are not alone and that everyone is fighting their own battle. thank you, once again, bye!!
So proud of u for talking about it !! It takes courage to speak up 💛 let's all support the fact that it's ok to not be ok all the time ,u r worthy ,ur life matters ,u deserve to have everything you want to achieve , hoping the best for you holly ❤️
I am impressed of how you can express your struggles with the story of the forest, I am under hypnotherapy and we do exactly analogies like that with my therapist and it’s amazing. We visualise the issue like that in my subconscient and then I have to visualise myself acting to destroy or transform it, it works so well for me as I struggle a lot to express my feelings with words. 🌞
Admitting you’re struggling mentally is never a failure, you’re doing really well, and it’s so cool to see someone online talking so candidly about their mental health, proud of you :)
We are both going through the same situation; the similarities are so obvious that it is both comforting and sad. And you are doing exactly the same I did; you pointed out at all the things that are affecting you negatively and their outcome. And that's great because it will help you on your next step: finding solutions to things that can be solved, and new approaches to things that cannot be solved. And a therapist can help you a lot with that, and with many other things (being heard or being able to talk about it, think abour things you hadn't think of before, techniques for dealing with it, etc.). I've been going to therapy all summer and I don't regret it at all. Also, be kind to yourself, Holly. For me, it helped me a lot to sort out my priorities (writting them down, of course) and putting my mental health on top of the list, adding all the things I thought would help me and how I could implement them in my life. And then actually doing them. It makes the problem go away, but it surely helps.
Thank you so much Holly for sharing how your feeling. I’m currently going through a similar situation also + going through and dealing with a family member whose health is declining. This video has helped a lot.
So sorry to know you are feeling more down lately, Holly. As you said, these times are transient and I feel you are doing your part on working through the problems. You are super insightful, and reflective. Therapy really helped me (I stopped going a few years ago, and I do regret it) and gave me some tools to face some stuff. I hope you do consider it, and that if you go, you can take a lot out of it. I definitely relate to a lot of what you said (+ I have some family problems), I have been feeling tired, drained, and, unlike you, super unproductive, and with reason to be discontent with my work. I will try to work through it as much as I can, but I do feel I am lacking on really trying to understand why this is happening - overall, and especially at these times, I think it's important to remember to take care of ourselves, and not think that we are machines. Thank you for the video, and I hope you do figure out how to bring out the Holly inside the forest. We will be here cheering you both on ☺️
Dear Holly, I agree with everything you said! I am going through the same thing. I've been constantly anxious and worried for 24/7 in these whole 2 months. I have been holding it in and that has been bad. One thing tho, be gentle, we cant always just keep it down. We need to process it and let it out. Sometimes you have to let it flood out your head and heart. You can write it down or sit down with your mind and have the personal conversation if you dont have a therapist. If you do, please understand that you have SO MANY options when it comes to therapist. You can always choose who you'd let into your life. And Holly, thank you for sharing tho. Thank you for telling us that it is okay to be down and stressed out, we love you and please do take your time. We will be here with you anyways 💕💕
I've only just started this but not being able to open up to your family isn't a failure & doesn't make you a failure! It's something you can work on, yes, but please don't put youself down like that. You're doing amazing, acknowledging all of this is such a big step & I hope you start to feel a little better soon💞
Sending you loads of love Holly💜💜💜 I relate to so much of what you said, especially the parts about being chased by a shadow and your forest analogy was amazing, you explained it so well. Your videos have helped me so much over the years, I wish I could say something more helpful in return, just know that you are not alone and so many people care about you and will support you no matter what xx
I recognise myself a lot in a lot of what you're talking about, especially with denying you're not okay and hiding it from the people in your life you know can help. For me it's been my coping mechanism with mental health issues and I've come to a point where I know I need to get professional help to deal with trauma in my past. It feels really nice to see someone I look up to having the same kind of problems as I do, it's really humanising and I just want to thank you for opening up about these things. It is okay to not feel good and I hope you give yourself some well-deserved unlimited amount of breaks 💚 sharing is difficult, give yourself credit for doing small things as well
Holly- thank you. Really, thank you. For being so open and honest and sharing this with us. And for your amazing analogy. This hit so hard. I'm a junior doctor and a PhD student and imposter syndrome is affecting really badly right now, whilst other things I haven't been able to or wanted to deal with aren't being dealt with and when you spoke about Holly lost in the woods.. I felt like I could suddenly see a part of me that I've been ignoring. I hope you get the help you need, and wish you the best in every way.
So glad to see you reflecting your mental health. You keep yourself busy with so many amazing things, but at the end of the day even meaningful work can be draining. I know from experience how difficult it is to cut back and conciously decide to take a break. I want to share a simple technique that has helped me lots with that: taking sundays off. It sounds like nothing, but not allowing myself to work on Sundays has been a tremendous relief, because this way it isn't an actual choice anymore and I don't feel regret then for not working. I can actually fully let go, unwind and do whatever I feel up to in the moment, because working isn't an option on Sunday. It also pushes me during the rest of the week to get my shit done to feel like I'm earning that Sunday. :) Although it seems like, motivation to work during the week is not an issue for you. ;) I just think a regular break would do you good in terms of taking the active decision when to do it out of your head. :)
I can relate to many of the things you mentioned, actually to all. I wish you all the best Holly because you seem like a genuine soul & lovely human being. I hope you are strong, healthy & happy as much as possible & that you will be able to deal better with your issues. All of us deserve better 🤍
Therapy is great. I’ve been seeing a therapist for almost 2 years now and it’s helped so much. It doesn’t just help short term but long term I can never unlearn what I have in therapy. Good luck 😊
Holly, I don’t normally comment on your videos, but this really spoke to me. You’ve been very brave to open up in this way to so many people here and it is very commendable. I encourage you to take as much time as you need to focus on you, your values and your wellbeing. As someone whose also a workaholic and perfectionist, the desire and drive to just keep going is insatiable but I’ve had 2 breakdowns at work and it’s really just not worth it! You have to look after yourself and give yourself some love. You’re an amazing person with so much to give and offer :) and always if you need to talk, please do!
I had a similar problem with not being able to slow down and not allowing myself to have breaks or down time. This year I went through a series of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and something we looked at in particular is Behavioural Activation. This has helped me immensely with having a better balance and being able to take more time to relax and look after myself, I would highly recommended it.
Holly, thank you! It takes a lot of courage to open up and talk about such an important task, especially when you are an introverted person. I think about the idea of uploading a video to youtube talking about it, and just by imagining what it would be like, I feel like: "Earth, swallow me!". I liked it when you talked about the obsession with comparing yourself to others... it happens to me all the time when I'm not okay, and it's like digging my own grave... the more I compare myself to others, the deeper I dig. And I end up with a headache. I keep telling myself to stop doing it. It's an argument inside my head, an endless fight. But I think my biggest mistake is thinking that I know how to manage that inner situation, that I have all the answers. Sometimes we don't. And that is okay. We are not perfect, and sometimes we need to let others give us the answers. This video has helped me a lot, thank you!
I appreciated all your study tips from previous videos. One thing that I have learned is "take the line of least resistance and eventually each area of life finds a course." Also remember successful companies never make it with one person, they require a team, so feeling competition in life is good... In regards to family connection, just focus on your school and go to the main family events or plan at least twice a month to meet family and that way you know in the back of your head "hey I am doing this well" and your family know...plus it's good to get away from the study and you can look forward to that moment, while not stressing "am I spending enough time with my family even though I live here and mainly just focus on school."....In regards to the phone, everyone is guilty of this naturally because it's the way we receive our updates in life and communicate, but at the same time I would recommend to stay strict because it's easy to give yourself permission and then it gets out of hand...."Think of the mouse stealing the cheese metaphor, you don't notice the cheese is gone until there is crumb"...The whole in your skin thing, I can't really give too much advice here but I would recommend for anyone reading this comment is make sure to have some self confidence and don't compare yourself to "created content authors"....i.e. insta, tiktok, youtube, etc...
Who really measures success anyway? Therapy is wonderful. Getting to know yourself deeply in that way is an amazing gift and you should give it to yourself. You’re a beautiful soul x
Thank you for opening up and being so honest :) I feel like realising that others are dealing with things can make you feel not alone. Sending lots of love 🥰 And also... you probably know this but... you are going to learn and grow SO much from these hard times. Lots of love Holly, you are a beautiful human being!!
Every word you spoke resonated with my current situation so much . I just wish for your good mental health Holly! You are good enough from anyone out there. Don't ever feel small. You are the best and I can bet on this !
Hey holly, i have been through therapy and still am going every month. I will 100% recommend going through therapy and like it has truly been life changing and living
I’m traversing the same and this video really helps me. Thank u so much and you are not alone. I really think this is just a part of our lifes and it is a challenge but... sometimes we need to stop, listen to our feelings, heal and keep fighting.
Thank you so so much for this! Watching it really helped me. I am also struggling mentally this whole year so i could relate very well. Thank you. I also think that this forest analogy was just perfect
Hey Holly, I must say that you have become my motivation and some kind of comfort for this tough life. I am a medical student and now under the pressure of applying for a master degree. I learned a lot from you, and your videos about applying for UCL or those past college life vlogs have encouraged me a lot to keep on pursuing my dream. Take your time to get along with your innerself, don't hurry. Spare yourself more free time , slow down your life pace, and enjoy the time with your family and friends.!!
Therapy is basically a part of my life now. To me, it's a very good point to reset the week and prepare my mind for the coming week that's filled with tasks and schedules. Professionals are more easy to talk to than your friends and family sometimes as you might be afraid to burden them with your negative thoughts. While therapists are trained to listen to your problems and can offer (evidence-based) ways that you can use to manage your mental problems, so definitely giving it a try :)
You should try think of it as a struggle and not a failure. Because language can do a lot regarding these things. When you say it is your greatest failure it is very negative and it could make it harder to ask for help. A struggle implies that you are getting better and are working through it. I wish you the best of lock with your mental health journey. And if you seek outside/professional help don't settle for the first person you talk to. It makes a real difference if you feel trust to a therapist/counsellor.
That happened to me last year, I went to a therapist, it help me. But the more it helped me it was myself, therapist help you, guide you, but you have to do all the work for yourself. You have to work on you. Journalising how are you feeling today, what have you in your mind, do some meditation and me time. It all great to do a pause. It makes a lot of difference. I was like you last year, trying not to focus on myself because I know it wasn't all OK, and I didn't want to see what's going with me. But, I learned how to heal myslef and the change it has been great! I'm so pleased to myself.
The way that you explained this was beautiful. Make sure you are taking time for yourself and slow down it will help massively also ensure you are making your sleep the number one priority. However asking for help and getting therapy will certainly help. I have a facial impariment which makes me look a bit wired but I stopped caring a long time ago it takes a while but when you get there it's the best feeling people stare and I just stare back lol 😂
Oh Holly I struggle a lot with my mental health. You seem to show being productive and doing loads of work. Just make sure you're looking after yourself and try out therapy cos I think it definitely helps!
The thing about not being at the the same level as everybody else... I am experiencing that.. every single day... feels good to know that someone else is going through that too..
Hey Holly :) I think it's really good that you're looking into this rather than trying to avoid it. I'm not going to give personal advice, because your therapist will help you with your mindset. But, having some severe mental health issues myself, the sleep thing is NOT a small thing. It makes a massive difference. I'm a doctor, so I'm familiar with how sleep deprivation can affect my mental health. Changing my sleeping patterns to make sure I get eight hours no matter what made a significant difference to my ability to cope with the things I'm struggling with. If you could focus on just one step in the right direction, I really really recommend trying to focus on your sleep. Set it as your goal for the whole month if you need to. It doesn't solve the core issues, but it will help you be able to cope better, which will help you be able to address other issues. Best of luck, Holly, you are a great person and you can get through this rough time, even if it's not easy.
I think holly you're amazing since you already recognize and accept to yourself not being okay. I also recommend you go to a therapist if you feel that things are so overwhelming.
I live alone. always alone, full time working and studying part time during my extra hour. I pull the night owl everytime to ensure my work is perfect. i know there will be days that I feel depressed, but thats just life. and life goes on. when i have some time to chill, i couldn't find any friends who wanna spend time with me, everyone, even my family members are busy with their own life. Do i still want to get up in the morning and live my life? yes i do. because even if today is raining storms, i would be grateful, to even live another day, with everything that I have now. While there are so many people out there, struggling to put food on their table. im grateful to even live for another day.
Hollyyy I want to give you a tighttt hug rn! I am thinking of going to therapy as well - being a hustler myself I know I have neglected some issues in the past that I shouldn’t have. I believe it’s never too late to start therapy (logically think of things). Your analogy once again is spot on❤️
Comedy writer and human here - and speaking as someone who's been through therapy (and benefited from it) and as a daughter of a psychologist (learned a lot from her) I wanted to say it is so human to be afraid to reveal you're not feeling okay, it is also so human to keep busy because it can help you avoid the risk of looking deeper into the things that maybe hard or can seem scary. The fact that you are admitting that things don't feel okay and that you might want help with that - saying that both to yourself and out loud - requires bravery. Especially if you come from a place where that idea feels weak to you. As you go along in life I have no doubt you will come to see that it is in fact a strength. So many things you touched on (burying yourself in work, imposter syndrome) are things I see from the people I work with who I admire the most - very bright, extremely high performing people. This pandemic is bringing a lot to the surface and wanting to control it and not deal with it makes so much sense. What I would say to the Holly in the forest and the Holly outside is that finding a good therapist (that you work well with - you can "interview" a few and see if it's a fit) will not cause you to lose what you are but can bring peace to all of the Hollys. Therapy speeds up the process and working with someone skilled can cause you to see options that are hard to see right now. Good luck with it all. All of the Hollys got you here - to even question seeing someone - and that's a very brave and strong place to be.
Holly, you are so brave and inspiring talking about such an important issue. I think that everyone has this kind of problems and they are something that exist with us, not like our enemies but like a part of ourselves that we need to listen to. You are not perfect, none of us is, and this is what makes us amazingly unique. And of course, as you already know, you have beatiful people around you who will stand by you when you don't even know what is going on with yourself.
Hi Holly! Also an MSc student at UCL here 👋 Just wanted to thank you for speaking up about this, I feel exactly the same! Like everyone on my course is ahead of me and I am the one mistake Admission made this year 😌 Hearing that someone as high achieving as you feel the same way too makes me feel so much better!
I can relate you holy , I'm also very bad in sharing anything with anyone even with my closed ones , I was suffuring from problem of irrational thought that always run inside my mind and my life was like hell but I struggled with it without saying anything to anyone and I can feel when you're actual not ok then how bad it feels
Holly, I'm very glad you opened up about this I was in a very similar place like you What you need to know is that therapy is just the science of the brain I tell you this because I was very skeptical about psychology until i understood this It's not just some person trying to make you feel you better giving you the same advice a friend can give you: like to have a rest day, to go out and things like that It's a person studying your brain and trying to make you live better by changing its schemes I went to a therapist when I was 14 for eating disorders but I didn't really get along with my therapist I just went there because I knew my mom wanted me to I then went to another therapist some years after and it was the best choice I made She helped me a lot She also used a technique used in modern therapy called EMDR which made such a difference (search it up because it's very interesting) So just make sure you try therapy and change therapist if you don't think it's helping you very much And i hope you get better cause you've been my inspiration for years❤️ And you still are my inspiration right now🙆🏻♀️
Tiredness and sleep is so underrated though x lack of sleep will affect every aspect of mental and physical help and exacerbate issue like stress, worry etc... while it's not a fill all, really prioritise sleep x if your not sleeping well (I've had this at uni) try things like going to bed late and getting up early to tire yourself, typical relaxation techniques, if work is on your mind work till late then have a brief relax before bed to put mind at ease. Hope you feel better soon though holly , this was a really important video to make x
I just know one thing that Holly is the strongest girl I still see your uni vlogs and remember those difficult essays.. you still did it . Dance , solo travelling, growing your business , mental breakdowns each and every thing was very tough but you nailed it and the biggest thing you are a lifestyle vlogger your things make us stronger because holly #YOU ARE STRONG. And we all love Stay on positive side.. and say 🖕To negative side Again I love you
Holly! I understand your feelings, maybe not exactly what it is but. I wanted to say that I am on the same boat with you. I study social work (as an international student in another country) , so I learn many things about mental health. Not only that, but I also experience some complicated feelings like you are. I am a deep thinker. So when I was watching your video (this one), I couldn't help but say out loud "yeah, that's right." I agree with what you said in the video. I have noticed that you are feeling lost, overwhelmed, however way you name it from some of the previous videos. And I noticed that you were taking on a lot of adventures. I admire you. I admire you for showing your vulnerability too today. It isn't easy to do that as a TH-cam start like you.. You are very strong, but it is okay that you feel that way. I am with you! And so is everyone else here:) Lots of love from me and I hope you can give me lots of love too!
Thanks for sharing this. When i was very depressed and in a bad relationship when i was younger. I used to feel like i was in a garden and the seasons would change and i would be stuck in a cage trying to get out. Im glad im not the only one that gives my problems analogies
A massive yes to therapy. Having an objective perspective is invaluable. A therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist is there to help you unravel the complexities of your own mind. Please give it a go!
I know exactly how you feel because I´ve been there 2 years ago. And now I am awesome again. Defintely try therapy, slow down and focus on balance. It`s worth it I promise:)
That analogy resonated with me a lot. I'm Australian, but studying for my PhD at Oxford, and I can't get home because of restrictions on flights and quarantine. Sometimes i feel like the person in the forrest and then other times I have good days and I'm outside the forrest and fine. It's difficult and sometimes it feels easier to pretend things are fine until it passes, and because the conditions of the pandemic and all the uncertainty contributed so much to feeling this way, it's hard to say what could possibly be changed. Running helped me a huge amount, therapy too. On moving out - while it makes sense to stay home for your masters, you could trial renting for a few months in London and just seeing how it goes.
I also have those eye twitches, is due to stress. They pass naturally, however, it takes a while. But you will see that it will pass quickly. I wish you all the luck in the world Holly. As a psychologist I can tell you that it's ok to have a bad day. We all have ups and downs, and we adjust according to the situation or context. Keep taking care of yourself, and also thinking about your well-being and leisure time. Look for help, and I want you to know that you can and should look for a person who feels 100% comfortable, since you can contact different psychologists until you get it, and that is also normal and ok!
Thanks for sharing this, watching your videos and other TH-camrs I used to feel so insecure that people have their life together, they do *so much* yet I keep letting the depression eat my days, I just give up and don't fight back, I would rather sleep or escape to my imagination than deal with the problem and the dark thought that follows this process of self improvement. It's really important to see that we are not alone, that everyone is dealing with their share of different shade of issues and that there's a solution to every problem and every solution takes different amount of time. 💙 hope it gets better for you.
Can I just say that one of the hardest things in the world is to realize and admit to your own self that you aren't ok. I started my undergrad in 2017 and will be graduating in 2021 and I've really felt a decline in my mental health since then. You are absolutely not alone. I found it hard to even realize that I wasn't as healthy as I could be and when you can't even admit to yourself that something is wrong let alone to others around you. I have not been satisfied with myself and my life for the past 3 years but things have gotten better very slowly and when I'm having bad days, I just remind myself of how far I've come even though its taken a long time. Props to you for posting this 👏
Hi Holly, I’m really glad you talked about this and that you are considering therapy. I can relate to that forest analogy...I hope you will get better, sending love💓
I feel like we have a lot in common. I am always SO harsh on myself and I have always been anxious so I thought it wasn’t a problem. I have recently reached out for help too, good luck hol x
Things to remember:
1. You don't have to be perfect. Perfect does not exist.
2. Having a bad day is okay.
3. Small steps are also progress.
4. Asking for help is STRENGTH.
5. People love and appreciate you.
6. Your feelings are valid.
You are beautiful, you are worthy, you are strong.
I don't wanna be that person but *strength
And that we all and your family and you yourself are with you forever.
THANK YOU !!!
Thank you
@@khadijafayyaz6184 ohmy gosh i need to print this out on my wall
As a therapist and a human being I can only tell you to please give therapy a try. I'm sure anyone can benefit from it if they are willing to, and I feel like you are. Honestly I'm super amazed by your forest analogy and how reflective you are about your issues! I work with different personality parts a lot and yeah, I guess I could ramble on forever, basically I just want to give you a hug, cook you a nice meal and tell you to go get some help. You deserve help. You deserve to be happy.
this is so beautiful. what do you specialize in?
@@Thefitty I specialize in cognitive behavioral therapy, but also throw in methods from other therapy schools if they seem useful for the individual person and problem. I'm a big fan of acceptance and commitment therapy and schema therapy as well :)
@@sarah_kale woow that's soo cool ! What steps did u take to become a cbt therapist? As i'm still unsure whether the long path for clinical psychology is worth it? Or there are other alternatives x ? Sorry if this comes off random , 😊
@@marufgazi9025 No problem :) I did a bachelor and master in psychology, it took me 6 years and I studied in Austria. Then I went back to Germany which is my home country and started postgraduate training in psychotherapy. This takes about 3 to 5 years depending on your specialization and how fast you are with everything you have to do (which is a lot... working in mental hospitals, treating outpatients, supervision, seminars, getting therapy yourself). It's a super long road you have to take to become a therapist in Germany, but I wouldn't trade it for any other job, I love it so so much!
@@sarah_kale woow yes definitely agree, it's a long journey but definitely rewarding :) Thanks for replying back to me..and in Soo much detail✨! I'm glad that ur enjoying this career😇
"There is light beyond the clouds" is one of my favourite quotes for when I am feeling like this and it really helps me.
You have take the first step, actually acknowledging there's a problem is the first and biggest step. I can highly recommend therapy. I'm a lot older you but when I was 23 I had a breakdown down and talking to someone saved me. You are a brave young woman and you will get through this. I'm 50 now and a mature student, my mental health is something I really understand now and can spot when things aren't going so well. Sending you hugs x
you don't realise how incredibly reassuring it is to hear that so many of you have had such positive experiences with therapy! thank you for sharing, it really means a lot to me 💚
If your eye is twitching you're probably lacking magnesium, you can get some at the pharmacy or even in a bigger supermarket :) It happens sometimes, especially if you're very active and/or stressed.
I’ve noticed you even talk about your own mental health struggles in terms of ‘failure’ or an ‘f grade’ and it getting in the way and just wanted to make clear that struggling with mental health in no way makes you inadequate or is a failure! It’s no different from getting a physical illness yet we use such negative and self-blaming language! Just a gentle reminder to be kind to yourself in the way you talk about yourself, hope you get the help you deserve from talking to a therapist ❤️
I've honestly never related to a mental health chat so much, your forest analogy and seeing different versions of yourself is soooo brilliantly thought out xxx
it was worth a bit of missed sleep then haha 😂 (i'm semi-joking, but still 🙈😅)
And Holly, girl, the ONE thing I always tell my patients is to BREATHE. That's the most important thing ever and not ridiculous at all! It has to do with your nervous system and how different systems are connected in your body, but to keep it short and simple, deep belly breathing is the one most important thing ever to not loose your shit :D
i definitely need to breathe more deeply sometimes, as i totally agree with what you said about it being incredibly calming!
"Because I'd risk losing both of them" YES THIS IS A PERFECT ANALOGY
OMG ikr? she was so on point for that.
So true! The analogy is incredibly fitting in that respect!!!
1) First it means that digging deep on your own just makes you your own prisoner inside your head as you get stuck/lost there.
2) Secondly it implements that the only way out is through... Your inner self is the one that has to do the work by ACTIVELY chopping a way through the undergrowth!
@@Zoe_EK great analysis.
i cannot get over just how much the analogy makes sense in my head 🙈
I'm so glad to hear this thing. I found myself waiting for you talking about this for a long time. I even ever hesitate to write to you on comment many times. I think you have been saved by yourself. I hope you gradually find ways to make the two of Holly meet each other someday. This process is a huge process of life transformation and life understanding. With love, this is the reason why I keep watching you on TH-cam. Love you from truly of my heart Holly.
"I hope you gradually find ways to make the two of Holly meet each other" . . . i really hope they find each other too 🥺
thank you for your support, it means so much to me 💚
Hey Holy, im a psychology student and I've tried therapy because i had a lot of anxiety. Let me tell you that it has helped me a lot, it literally opens up a new horizon for you, a whole new aspect of life. Therapy helps you train your brain!
I used to have such a problem with telling people about my problems. I always feel like I have to respond positively and not burden someone with what I'm going through. I would bottle EVERYTHING up and then one day I would break down/explode. I have learned to really open up to my friends, family and I got myself a therapist and it has made a WORLD of a difference!
Yes it's absolutely correct 👍👍
In Sweden this has a name, "perfect girl" syndrome.Basically,long term anxiety folded into insane productivity; where you are left awaiting judgement from others to be sure in your skills and level of professionalism.It is result of unability to react and aknowlage feelings on upsetting matters; often structural sexism/racism/homophobia.Issues are not solved, they are piled up to rot; because work needed is not viewed as work.One of most common "symptoms" is taking responsibility for the mood in the room, or in group while working on a project.
This makes a lot of sense. I think a lot of people view the quality of their work as reflecting on their self worth.
I realllly resonate with your forest analogy! Something I heard this morning on a podcast, which I think you could benefit from hearing too is
'i speed up by slowing down'.
🌟
Holly, we are literally the same. I run my own business and have 2 other jobs and have just started my masters and therapy! Like you I don’t stop, I chose work over friends and chill time. I don’t think I know how to relax and your videos have always made me feel less alone. I’ve decided also that I want to put more time into friendships but lockdown has made that hard. You’re not alone girl, try and take some time for yourself and I will too ❤️
I cannot tell you how much I relate with everything you said. Over the last couple of months I have found that my mental health is not at the best place. For a moment everything feels fine and then suddenly I feel so anxious, nervous and I kind of panic and feel lost.
Perhaps having a day a week that is your 'weekend day'.. No phone no filming or working. Just doing things with your family / things for fun would help x
I can relate so much! I am also a workaholic and I often get so caught up in my work and I try to keep myself busy in order to distract myself from my feelings (which is not always the best way to deal with mental health issues, I know). So thank you so much for opening up, please remember that you are not alone. We will get through this.❤️
I want to share something that is similar to Holly's situation. Every time I get home during school breaks I would stay in my room and lock it. I usually do a lot of productive work and I always try to deal with my problems by myself even if it's pretty bad. I just feel like I want to be in control and capable of dealing with my problems. This is something I have trouble with and still am working on.
Yeah !! Same here !! ....
that is exactly how i feel, i never want to open up about my problems as i feel as if i can solve them myself. HOWEVER, as i said, i am really trying to change this mindset and get help, because at this point i feel as if i need it!
Holly, I feel you. I'm a perfectionist and a workaholic in June my exam season started and I always put pressure on myself. I struggled a lot mentally due to stress and the current situation we are in with Covid. I also had to move back in with my family; that also caused some difficult situations. It ended with multiple "mental breakdowns" and on top of that, I couldn't feel my left arm. Because of that I had to stay in the hospital for five days. My body couldn't work properly because of my mental state. I had help since then and I am feeling a lot better but I still have problems with my arm. Well, the moral of my story: Ask for help if you are struggeling. I know it is hard, but that's what we need to do to feel better again.
Greetings from Germany btw.
Holly, thank you so much for sharing this. I know how hard it can be to open up about your struggles and I find it really brave that you are sharing this with us. I have also struggled with my mental helth for a while and also bottled everything up. I didn’t feel like I could open up to my parents or friends about it but one of my favorite teachers noticed that I wasn’t ok. I finally talked about my problems and it helped me so much. So for everyone reading this: Don’t be afraid of talking about your struggles. Everyone goes through a tough time sometimes, you are not alone and I am 100% sure that many people in your life are willing to listen to you and help you.
holly, it's huge that you've already recognized what your 'failures' are because this means that you can work on them. quotation marks failures because they are struggles right now, but they won't be in the future; they'll become lessons. secondly, it's also huge that you had the courage to recognize that you're not okay at the moment and talk about this realization with the world. keeping you in my thoughts :)
Holly, I love your channel and you have inspired me so much. And you just did so again with your honesty both to your followers and yourself. Keep going, Holly. Best wishes to you!
“Let everything happen to you. Beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.” - Rainer Maria Rilke
I can relate so much. Thank you Holly.
I just want to give you a hug and say: I really truly understand what you are feeling like, and I wish and know that the things you are scared of aren’t as scary as you perceive them to be. (At last the ones you spoke about in the video). I wish you so much luck with therapy! I really don’t want to give you any advice because I am not a professional therapist, so; I listen and tell you: I understand your struggles and they definitely are justified.
I am honestly so glad you have posted this. I'm now doing a gap year back in my college instead of going to university this year and it's just felt so hard and as much I want to get out of what I call the dark hole, I just don't have the energy to get out of it. Getting help needs to be completely normalised and you have given me the confidence to finally speak up and get help. THANK YOU
holy cow！！i appreciate I can browse to ur reference！I'm going through almost the same thing as u.The only difference between us is that I am not doing a gap in a college,I'm taking a month off from college.When i read what u said like："It's just felt so hard and as much i want to get out of what i call the dark hole."I felt like how similar we r！！As myself,the main reason to cause this fucking dark holeis it's so damn difficult to get used to the new life in college which we almost haven't come back to in eight months.Anyway,I do believe both of us can get through this tough time！！We can definitely kill it！
Hi Holly, thanks for making this video. I understand how you feel and your forest analogy really resonated with me. I’m so glad you decided to get someone else to help forest holly out. In my experience, moving away from the hustle and bustle of life to focus on and “fix” the issue within tends to make things worse. Many times the only problem is the way one thinks and it takes professional help and lots of work to start retraining the brain to think another way. Anyway, I’m rooting for you along your path. You can do it and you are never alone!
lockdown has a lot of people feeling similar. Before lockdown I was going into University everyday attending lectures (which I used to struggle to do due to my social anxiety) and I finally felt like I was enjoying life, then lockdown hit and I stayed in my flat for months alone ( I have hypochondria) I then started to feel isolated and depressed, and worthless and like my life had no purpose. We need to remind ourselves this is all temporary and hopefully this pandemic will be over soon so we can all get back to fully enjoying and living our lives!
I feel the same as you! From one moment to the other everything changed. We had to stay at home. Now university is online again (it´s now the second online semester for me) I just hate it and I feel isolated. It´s so overwhelming. What is hard for me is that literally everyone can go to work AND noone will understand that it´s hard for myself to stay at home and work on my own all the time. it´s also quite hard to think positive right now
Thank you for being so open ♡
I am in therapy for 1.5 years. And I resonate with a lot that you say. I hope you get better and both Hollys can be fine together.
Problems sleeping and being tired or hopeless can be signs of depression - so take care.
i was away for 3 months working and was living away from home for the first time in my life. i’m now back and feel very similar to you in many things. i feel like i’m not completely myself and the city that’s seen me grow up, which i’ve always loved deeply, now feels like some sort of psychedelic dream - in a way like the parallel world in coraline. i’ve been trying to see what i’m “missing” about myself and couldn’t figure it out. watching this video i realized that during my time away i gained so much confidence and comfort in myself - and suddenly now i’m back i’ve just lost it all. i might even be more insecure than when i left. so thank you, holly, for unknowingly helping me discover this about my situation. oh, and if anyone happens to read this (lol) and has any tips/insight on what to do, or just wants to rant - please feel free to reply :)
Oh Holly, this entire video is proof that you are SO ready to leave that forest and set yourself free, so CLIMB THAT TREE like you did while on your Australian journey!
"Surrender" (throwing your hands in the air) is often the first step in a new direction and finding new successes. Also, a "perfectionist" gets closer to success once they realize they can't be "perfect" or on their "A game" 24/7/365, so JUST DO YOU and JUST BE YOU HOLLY!!!
Also, I urge you to watch this video back with an open mind and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised with how much you've really already figured out !!!!!
STAY STRONG & STAY HOLLY!!!!! 💚
honestly I relate to you so much and feeling down lately. thank u so much for opening up and I hope everything goes well for u!!! xx
I've been feeling the same way for years now and I have been diagnosed with BPD, Depression, and anxiety, and the feeling of not being good enough is always there, I thought it was funny (please don't get me wrong) when you said you compare yourself to others (and it is in fact, unfair to you) because I used to compare myself to you! You are so smart, you went to one of the best universities in the world, you always do your work on time and you are just amazing. All I wanted was to be just a little bit as amazing as you are, as intelligent as you are, and knowing you don't feel like you are good enough made me so sad because you are, you are an inspiration for me and others and I want you to know that. I also want you to know you are not alone although it seems so, please be kind to yourself, it is okay not to be okay, please give a serious thought on seeking for help, they really help, I used to have therapy and I went to the psychiatrist and it was so good, it made me realize so many things about myself, please also keep in mind that finding the ideal treatment is hard just as finding the right therapist, but please give it a try,, you deserve that. You are enough and you deserve every opportunity that was given to you, you are amazing, please don't forget that!!!!
I hope everything works out for you :)
ps.: I apologize so much for the bad English, it is not my mother language but I try.
ps2.: Thank you for making this video, I guess it is important to let others know they are not alone and that everyone is fighting their own battle.
thank you, once again, bye!!
So proud of u for talking about it !! It takes courage to speak up 💛 let's all support the fact that it's ok to not be ok all the time ,u r worthy ,ur life matters ,u deserve to have everything you want to achieve , hoping the best for you holly ❤️
I am impressed of how you can express your struggles with the story of the forest, I am under hypnotherapy and we do exactly analogies like that with my therapist and it’s amazing. We visualise the issue like that in my subconscient and then I have to visualise myself acting to destroy or transform it, it works so well for me as I struggle a lot to express my feelings with words. 🌞
Admitting you’re struggling mentally is never a failure, you’re doing really well, and it’s so cool to see someone online talking so candidly about their mental health, proud of you :)
thank you catherine 💚
We are both going through the same situation; the similarities are so obvious that it is both comforting and sad. And you are doing exactly the same I did; you pointed out at all the things that are affecting you negatively and their outcome. And that's great because it will help you on your next step: finding solutions to things that can be solved, and new approaches to things that cannot be solved. And a therapist can help you a lot with that, and with many other things (being heard or being able to talk about it, think abour things you hadn't think of before, techniques for dealing with it, etc.). I've been going to therapy all summer and I don't regret it at all. Also, be kind to yourself, Holly. For me, it helped me a lot to sort out my priorities (writting them down, of course) and putting my mental health on top of the list, adding all the things I thought would help me and how I could implement them in my life. And then actually doing them. It makes the problem go away, but it surely helps.
Thank you so much Holly for sharing how your feeling. I’m currently going through a similar situation also + going through and dealing with a family member whose health is declining. This video has helped a lot.
So sorry to know you are feeling more down lately, Holly. As you said, these times are transient and I feel you are doing your part on working through the problems. You are super insightful, and reflective. Therapy really helped me (I stopped going a few years ago, and I do regret it) and gave me some tools to face some stuff. I hope you do consider it, and that if you go, you can take a lot out of it. I definitely relate to a lot of what you said (+ I have some family problems), I have been feeling tired, drained, and, unlike you, super unproductive, and with reason to be discontent with my work. I will try to work through it as much as I can, but I do feel I am lacking on really trying to understand why this is happening - overall, and especially at these times, I think it's important to remember to take care of ourselves, and not think that we are machines. Thank you for the video, and I hope you do figure out how to bring out the Holly inside the forest. We will be here cheering you both on ☺️
Dear Holly, I agree with everything you said! I am going through the same thing. I've been constantly anxious and worried for 24/7 in these whole 2 months. I have been holding it in and that has been bad. One thing tho, be gentle, we cant always just keep it down. We need to process it and let it out. Sometimes you have to let it flood out your head and heart. You can write it down or sit down with your mind and have the personal conversation if you dont have a therapist. If you do, please understand that you have SO MANY options when it comes to therapist. You can always choose who you'd let into your life. And Holly, thank you for sharing tho. Thank you for telling us that it is okay to be down and stressed out, we love you and please do take your time. We will be here with you anyways 💕💕
I've only just started this but not being able to open up to your family isn't a failure & doesn't make you a failure! It's something you can work on, yes, but please don't put youself down like that. You're doing amazing, acknowledging all of this is such a big step & I hope you start to feel a little better soon💞
You're so real Holly. I've been here for 4 years and I've seen you grow so much. Sending love
Sending you loads of love Holly💜💜💜 I relate to so much of what you said, especially the parts about being chased by a shadow and your forest analogy was amazing, you explained it so well. Your videos have helped me so much over the years, I wish I could say something more helpful in return, just know that you are not alone and so many people care about you and will support you no matter what xx
I recognise myself a lot in a lot of what you're talking about, especially with denying you're not okay and hiding it from the people in your life you know can help. For me it's been my coping mechanism with mental health issues and I've come to a point where I know I need to get professional help to deal with trauma in my past. It feels really nice to see someone I look up to having the same kind of problems as I do, it's really humanising and I just want to thank you for opening up about these things. It is okay to not feel good and I hope you give yourself some well-deserved unlimited amount of breaks 💚 sharing is difficult, give yourself credit for doing small things as well
i am so happy i opened up, even though it was hard! we can get through this!!! 💚
Holly- thank you. Really, thank you. For being so open and honest and sharing this with us. And for your amazing analogy. This hit so hard. I'm a junior doctor and a PhD student and imposter syndrome is affecting really badly right now, whilst other things I haven't been able to or wanted to deal with aren't being dealt with and when you spoke about Holly lost in the woods.. I felt like I could suddenly see a part of me that I've been ignoring. I hope you get the help you need, and wish you the best in every way.
So glad to see you reflecting your mental health. You keep yourself busy with so many amazing things, but at the end of the day even meaningful work can be draining. I know from experience how difficult it is to cut back and conciously decide to take a break.
I want to share a simple technique that has helped me lots with that: taking sundays off. It sounds like nothing, but not allowing myself to work on Sundays has been a tremendous relief, because this way it isn't an actual choice anymore and I don't feel regret then for not working. I can actually fully let go, unwind and do whatever I feel up to in the moment, because working isn't an option on Sunday. It also pushes me during the rest of the week to get my shit done to feel like I'm earning that Sunday. :) Although it seems like, motivation to work during the week is not an issue for you. ;)
I just think a regular break would do you good in terms of taking the active decision when to do it out of your head. :)
I understand Holly. And I have been facing this from the past 2 months and I have started counselling. Talking does help sweetie. Take care.
I can relate to many of the things you mentioned, actually to all. I wish you all the best Holly because you seem like a genuine soul & lovely human being. I hope you are strong, healthy & happy as much as possible & that you will be able to deal better with your issues. All of us deserve better 🤍
i dont have words to tell you how helpful this was for me. all I can say is thank you Holly x
Therapy is great. I’ve been seeing a therapist for almost 2 years now and it’s helped so much. It doesn’t just help short term but long term I can never unlearn what I have in therapy. Good luck 😊
Holly, I don’t normally comment on your videos, but this really spoke to me. You’ve been very brave to open up in this way to so many people here and it is very commendable. I encourage you to take as much time as you need to focus on you, your values and your wellbeing. As someone whose also a workaholic and perfectionist, the desire and drive to just keep going is insatiable but I’ve had 2 breakdowns at work and it’s really just not worth it! You have to look after yourself and give yourself some love. You’re an amazing person with so much to give and offer :) and always if you need to talk, please do!
I had a similar problem with not being able to slow down and not allowing myself to have breaks or down time. This year I went through a series of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and something we looked at in particular is Behavioural Activation. This has helped me immensely with having a better balance and being able to take more time to relax and look after myself, I would highly recommended it.
Holly, thank you!
It takes a lot of courage to open up and talk about such an important task, especially when you are an introverted person. I think about the idea of uploading a video to youtube talking about it, and just by imagining what it would be like, I feel like: "Earth, swallow me!".
I liked it when you talked about the obsession with comparing yourself to others... it happens to me all the time when I'm not okay, and it's like digging my own grave... the more I compare myself to others, the deeper I dig. And I end up with a headache. I keep telling myself to stop doing it. It's an argument inside my head, an endless fight.
But I think my biggest mistake is thinking that I know how to manage that inner situation, that I have all the answers. Sometimes we don't. And that is okay. We are not perfect, and sometimes we need to let others give us the answers.
This video has helped me a lot, thank you!
I appreciated all your study tips from previous videos. One thing that I have learned is "take the line of least resistance and eventually each area of life finds a course." Also remember successful companies never make it with one person, they require a team, so feeling competition in life is good... In regards to family connection, just focus on your school and go to the main family events or plan at least twice a month to meet family and that way you know in the back of your head "hey I am doing this well" and your family know...plus it's good to get away from the study and you can look forward to that moment, while not stressing "am I spending enough time with my family even though I live here and mainly just focus on school."....In regards to the phone, everyone is guilty of this naturally because it's the way we receive our updates in life and communicate, but at the same time I would recommend to stay strict because it's easy to give yourself permission and then it gets out of hand...."Think of the mouse stealing the cheese metaphor, you don't notice the cheese is gone until there is crumb"...The whole in your skin thing, I can't really give too much advice here but I would recommend for anyone reading this comment is make sure to have some self confidence and don't compare yourself to "created content authors"....i.e. insta, tiktok, youtube, etc...
Very topical for mental health day last friday really hope you are coping holly we are all here for ya xx
Who really measures success anyway? Therapy is wonderful. Getting to know yourself deeply in that way is an amazing gift and you should give it to yourself. You’re a beautiful soul x
Thank you for opening up and being so honest :) I feel like realising that others are dealing with things can make you feel not alone. Sending lots of love 🥰 And also... you probably know this but... you are going to learn and grow SO much from these hard times. Lots of love Holly, you are a beautiful human being!!
Every word you spoke resonated with my current situation so much . I just wish for your good mental health Holly! You are good enough from anyone out there. Don't ever feel small. You are the best and I can bet on this !
this analogy that you came up with is really relatable. I swear to god, I'm so surprised right now.
Hey holly, i have been through therapy and still am going every month. I will 100% recommend going through therapy and like it has truly been life changing and living
I’m traversing the same and this video really helps me. Thank u so much and you are not alone. I really think this is just a part of our lifes and it is a challenge but... sometimes we need to stop, listen to our feelings, heal and keep fighting.
Forest analogy was amazing and was moving... when you said you afraid to loose both Holly.. I could feel it...
Thanks for sharing your feelings.. ❤❤❤
Wow only 2 mins in and this is very relatable. We love you Holly you are an amazing person, its ok not to be ok ❤
Thank you so so much for this! Watching it really helped me. I am also struggling mentally this whole year so i could relate very well. Thank you. I also think that this forest analogy was just perfect
Hey Holly, I must say that you have become my motivation and some kind of comfort for this tough life. I am a medical student and now under the pressure of applying for a master degree. I learned a lot from you, and your videos about applying for UCL or those past college life vlogs have encouraged me a lot to keep on pursuing my dream. Take your time to get along with your innerself, don't hurry. Spare yourself more free time , slow down your life pace, and enjoy the time with your family and friends.!!
Therapy is basically a part of my life now. To me, it's a very good point to reset the week and prepare my mind for the coming week that's filled with tasks and schedules.
Professionals are more easy to talk to than your friends and family sometimes as you might be afraid to burden them with your negative thoughts. While therapists are trained to listen to your problems and can offer (evidence-based) ways that you can use to manage your mental problems, so definitely giving it a try :)
You should try think of it as a struggle and not a failure. Because language can do a lot regarding these things. When you say it is your greatest failure it is very negative and it could make it harder to ask for help. A struggle implies that you are getting better and are working through it.
I wish you the best of lock with your mental health journey. And if you seek outside/professional help don't settle for the first person you talk to. It makes a real difference if you feel trust to a therapist/counsellor.
That happened to me last year, I went to a therapist, it help me. But the more it helped me it was myself, therapist help you, guide you, but you have to do all the work for yourself. You have to work on you. Journalising how are you feeling today, what have you in your mind, do some meditation and me time. It all great to do a pause. It makes a lot of difference. I was like you last year, trying not to focus on myself because I know it wasn't all OK, and I didn't want to see what's going with me. But, I learned how to heal myslef and the change it has been great! I'm so pleased to myself.
The way that you explained this was beautiful. Make sure you are taking time for yourself and slow down it will help massively also ensure you are making your sleep the number one priority. However asking for help and getting therapy will certainly help. I have a facial impariment which makes me look a bit wired but I stopped caring a long time ago it takes a while but when you get there it's the best feeling people stare and I just stare back lol 😂
Oh Holly I struggle a lot with my mental health. You seem to show being productive and doing loads of work. Just make sure you're looking after yourself and try out therapy cos I think it definitely helps!
I LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOU FOR SHARING THIS💪🏼
The thing about not being at the the same level as everybody else... I am experiencing that.. every single day... feels good to know that someone else is going through that too..
I am also really struggling at the moment. You will get through this Holly. Thank you for being open about this.
Hey Holly :) I think it's really good that you're looking into this rather than trying to avoid it. I'm not going to give personal advice, because your therapist will help you with your mindset. But, having some severe mental health issues myself, the sleep thing is NOT a small thing. It makes a massive difference. I'm a doctor, so I'm familiar with how sleep deprivation can affect my mental health. Changing my sleeping patterns to make sure I get eight hours no matter what made a significant difference to my ability to cope with the things I'm struggling with. If you could focus on just one step in the right direction, I really really recommend trying to focus on your sleep. Set it as your goal for the whole month if you need to. It doesn't solve the core issues, but it will help you be able to cope better, which will help you be able to address other issues. Best of luck, Holly, you are a great person and you can get through this rough time, even if it's not easy.
I think holly you're amazing since you already recognize and accept to yourself not being okay. I also recommend you go to a therapist if you feel that things are so overwhelming.
I live alone. always alone, full time working and studying part time during my extra hour. I pull the night owl everytime to ensure my work is perfect. i know there will be days that I feel depressed, but thats just life. and life goes on. when i have some time to chill, i couldn't find any friends who wanna spend time with me, everyone, even my family members are busy with their own life.
Do i still want to get up in the morning and live my life?
yes i do. because even if today is raining storms, i would be grateful, to even live another day, with everything that I have now. While there are so many people out there, struggling to put food on their table.
im grateful to even live for another day.
Wow 👌your post gives me motivation 😊tnq
Hollyyy I want to give you a tighttt hug rn! I am thinking of going to therapy as well - being a hustler myself I know I have neglected some issues in the past that I shouldn’t have. I believe it’s never too late to start therapy (logically think of things). Your analogy once again is spot on❤️
Comedy writer and human here - and speaking as someone who's been through therapy (and benefited from it) and as a daughter of a psychologist (learned a lot from her) I wanted to say it is so human to be afraid to reveal you're not feeling okay, it is also so human to keep busy because it can help you avoid the risk of looking deeper into the things that maybe hard or can seem scary. The fact that you are admitting that things don't feel okay and that you might want help with that - saying that both to yourself and out loud - requires bravery. Especially if you come from a place where that idea feels weak to you. As you go along in life I have no doubt you will come to see that it is in fact a strength. So many things you touched on (burying yourself in work, imposter syndrome) are things I see from the people I work with who I admire the most - very bright, extremely high performing people. This pandemic is bringing a lot to the surface and wanting to control it and not deal with it makes so much sense. What I would say to the Holly in the forest and the Holly outside is that finding a good therapist (that you work well with - you can "interview" a few and see if it's a fit) will not cause you to lose what you are but can bring peace to all of the Hollys. Therapy speeds up the process and working with someone skilled can cause you to see options that are hard to see right now. Good luck with it all. All of the Hollys got you here - to even question seeing someone - and that's a very brave and strong place to be.
jen, i loved reading your comment, thank you 💚
Holly, you are so brave and inspiring talking about such an important issue. I think that everyone has this kind of problems and they are something that exist with us, not like our enemies but like a part of ourselves that we need to listen to. You are not perfect, none of us is, and this is what makes us amazingly unique. And of course, as you already know, you have beatiful people around you who will stand by you when you don't even know what is going on with yourself.
Hey Holly, Been Your Fan Since your first video. Like how you are keep improving yourself.
Stoicism, and Marcus Aurelius etc... has helped a great deal. Provides a lot of clarity.
Hi Holly! Also an MSc student at UCL here 👋 Just wanted to thank you for speaking up about this, I feel exactly the same! Like everyone on my course is ahead of me and I am the one mistake Admission made this year 😌 Hearing that someone as high achieving as you feel the same way too makes me feel so much better!
I can relate you holy , I'm also very bad in sharing anything with anyone even with my closed ones , I was suffuring from problem of irrational thought that always run inside my mind and my life was like hell but I struggled with it without saying anything to anyone and I can feel when you're actual not ok then how bad it feels
Holly, I'm very glad you opened up about this
I was in a very similar place like you
What you need to know is that therapy is just the science of the brain
I tell you this because I was very skeptical about psychology until i understood this
It's not just some person trying to make you feel you better giving you the same advice a friend can give you: like to have a rest day, to go out and things like that
It's a person studying your brain and trying to make you live better by changing its schemes
I went to a therapist when I was 14 for eating disorders but I didn't really get along with my therapist
I just went there because I knew my mom wanted me to
I then went to another therapist some years after and it was the best choice I made
She helped me a lot
She also used a technique used in modern therapy called EMDR which made such a difference (search it up because it's very interesting)
So just make sure you try therapy and change therapist if you don't think it's helping you very much
And i hope you get better cause you've been my inspiration for years❤️
And you still are my inspiration right now🙆🏻♀️
Tiredness and sleep is so underrated though x lack of sleep will affect every aspect of mental and physical help and exacerbate issue like stress, worry etc... while it's not a fill all, really prioritise sleep x if your not sleeping well (I've had this at uni) try things like going to bed late and getting up early to tire yourself, typical relaxation techniques, if work is on your mind work till late then have a brief relax before bed to put mind at ease. Hope you feel better soon though holly , this was a really important video to make x
I just know one thing that Holly is the strongest girl
I still see your uni vlogs and remember those difficult essays.. you still did it . Dance , solo travelling, growing your business , mental breakdowns each and every thing was very tough but you nailed it and the biggest thing you are a lifestyle vlogger your things make us stronger because holly
#YOU ARE STRONG.
And we all love
Stay on positive side.. and say
🖕To negative side
Again I love you
AHH thank you!!!!
That analogy is so good Holly 😀
Holly! I understand your feelings, maybe not exactly what it is but. I wanted to say that I am on the same boat with you. I study social work (as an international student in another country) , so I learn many things about mental health. Not only that, but I also experience some complicated feelings like you are. I am a deep thinker. So when I was watching your video (this one), I couldn't help but say out loud "yeah, that's right." I agree with what you said in the video. I have noticed that you are feeling lost, overwhelmed, however way you name it from some of the previous videos. And I noticed that you were taking on a lot of adventures. I admire you. I admire you for showing your vulnerability too today. It isn't easy to do that as a TH-cam start like you.. You are very strong, but it is okay that you feel that way. I am with you! And so is everyone else here:) Lots of love from me and I hope you can give me lots of love too!
Thanks for sharing this. When i was very depressed and in a bad relationship when i was younger. I used to feel like i was in a garden and the seasons would change and i would be stuck in a cage trying to get out. Im glad im not the only one that gives my problems analogies
A massive yes to therapy. Having an objective perspective is invaluable. A therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist is there to help you unravel the complexities of your own mind. Please give it a go!
I know exactly how you feel because I´ve been there 2 years ago. And now I am awesome again. Defintely try therapy, slow down and focus on balance. It`s worth it I promise:)
I just wanna say love you holly ❤
I love to see people here in comments are so nice and helpful it feels greaat to read these comments 🌹
That analogy resonated with me a lot. I'm Australian, but studying for my PhD at Oxford, and I can't get home because of restrictions on flights and quarantine. Sometimes i feel like the person in the forrest and then other times I have good days and I'm outside the forrest and fine. It's difficult and sometimes it feels easier to pretend things are fine until it passes, and because the conditions of the pandemic and all the uncertainty contributed so much to feeling this way, it's hard to say what could possibly be changed. Running helped me a huge amount, therapy too. On moving out - while it makes sense to stay home for your masters, you could trial renting for a few months in London and just seeing how it goes.
I also have those eye twitches, is due to stress. They pass naturally, however, it takes a while. But you will see that it will pass quickly.
I wish you all the luck in the world Holly. As a psychologist I can tell you that it's ok to have a bad day. We all have ups and downs, and we adjust according to the situation or context. Keep taking care of yourself, and also thinking about your well-being and leisure time.
Look for help, and I want you to know that you can and should look for a person who feels 100% comfortable, since you can contact different psychologists until you get it, and that is also normal and ok!
Thanks for sharing this,
watching your videos and other TH-camrs I used to feel so insecure that people have their life together, they do *so much* yet I keep letting the depression eat my days, I just give up and don't fight back, I would rather sleep or escape to my imagination than deal with the problem and the dark thought that follows this process of self improvement.
It's really important to see that we are not alone, that everyone is dealing with their share of different shade of issues and that there's a solution to every problem and every solution takes different amount of time.
💙
hope it gets better for you.
Can I just say that one of the hardest things in the world is to realize and admit to your own self that you aren't ok. I started my undergrad in 2017 and will be graduating in 2021 and I've really felt a decline in my mental health since then. You are absolutely not alone. I found it hard to even realize that I wasn't as healthy as I could be and when you can't even admit to yourself that something is wrong let alone to others around you. I have not been satisfied with myself and my life for the past 3 years but things have gotten better very slowly and when I'm having bad days, I just remind myself of how far I've come even though its taken a long time. Props to you for posting this 👏
Don't stress out holly..... We are here for you ❤️❤️☺️
Hi Holly, I’m really glad you talked about this and that you are considering therapy. I can relate to that forest analogy...I hope you will get better, sending love💓
I feel like we have a lot in common. I am always SO harsh on myself and I have always been anxious so I thought it wasn’t a problem. I have recently reached out for help too, good luck hol x