We are glad for someone writing on this. As A Christian Counselow who works with clients who are emotionally abused by there pastors ae are glad for your illumination of this very real issue among Conservatove reformed Churches .
For me, the line was blurred between Christian ministry and business. My boss was also a former long-time pastor and Christian school teacher. Everyone seems to like him but behind literal closed doors, he’d treat me with utter contempt and make contradictory demands I couldn’t ever fulfill the way he wanted. It felt like the worst of both worlds: I felt like I couldn’t leave because the organization was considered “ministry” but I also felt like I couldn’t call him out for mistreatment because it was a business model that needed results. It was during and after the pandemic so I could have used a significant raise with the extra work I did, but it was states early on that I shouldn’t care about money because it was after all a ministry. Meanwhile he would boast about his new giant TV and other toys. This book is probably the closest resource I’ve found to sort out what happened to me, at least for one layer.
My family and I were left with no option but to leave due to the spiritual abuse and Michael Krugers work on Bully Pulpit is what I shared in the emails to the elder and the men of the church. Problem is there is only one elder and the charges were against him. Everything was turned on my wife and I since none of the other congregants spoke up during our meetings in confronting the allegations my wife and I brought forth. They actually pulled back on their similar concerns and made me and my wife look like a gossip and slanderer. I was sent an email that we’ve been put on church discipline and those same men (close friends) that pulled back on their own similar concerns as mine, signed the church discipline form against my family and I. Is the elder in question suppose to be the judge for this serious matter?
Our church has been a little pushy about becoming a better disciple, a better discipler, and a fully-submitted follower of Christ. Every week, there's a guilt-tripping question in small group. They insist on this culture of discipleship, and if you don't feel comfortable with it, "maybe this isn't the church for you." Update on the pushiness: The pastor preached 2 Sundays ago that when Jesús stated that He would be with the disciples until the end of the age, this is a conditional promise if you're in the mission of making disciples. In other words, if you're not active in the process, Christ is not with you.
@@guiltgracepod It's a non-denominational "____ ___ Bible Church". I'm not saying I disagree with discipleship or preaching truth. What I do notice, and others at church, is the pushyness of it. I'm afraid it has to do with them wanting to buy or build their own venue.
I find it ironic that doctrine is put over character by churches when it is doctrinally correct to pay attention to character as that’s the exact priority the Bible highlights.
We are glad for someone writing on this. As A Christian Counselow who works with clients who are emotionally abused by there pastors ae are glad for your illumination of this very real issue among Conservatove reformed Churches .
Thanks for this! An incredibly helpful book on a timely and unfortunate topic.
I bought a copy of the book, I think it’s really well done
💥 AMEN 💥🙏👏🙏👏🙏👏🙏👏
For me, the line was blurred between Christian ministry and business. My boss was also a former long-time pastor and Christian school teacher. Everyone seems to like him but behind literal closed doors, he’d treat me with utter contempt and make contradictory demands I couldn’t ever fulfill the way he wanted. It felt like the worst of both worlds: I felt like I couldn’t leave because the organization was considered “ministry” but I also felt like I couldn’t call him out for mistreatment because it was a business model that needed results. It was during and after the pandemic so I could have used a significant raise with the extra work I did, but it was states early on that I shouldn’t care about money because it was after all a ministry. Meanwhile he would boast about his new giant TV and other toys.
This book is probably the closest resource I’ve found to sort out what happened to me, at least for one layer.
My family and I were left with no option but to leave due to the spiritual abuse and Michael Krugers work on Bully Pulpit is what I shared in the emails to the elder and the men of the church. Problem is there is only one elder and the charges were against him. Everything was turned on my wife and I since none of the other congregants spoke up during our meetings in confronting the allegations my wife and I brought forth. They actually pulled back on their similar concerns and made me and my wife look like a gossip and slanderer. I was sent an email that we’ve been put on church discipline and those same men (close friends) that pulled back on their own similar concerns as mine, signed the church discipline form against my family and I.
Is the elder in question suppose to be the judge for this serious matter?
Thank you for your kindness.
Of course!
Our church has been a little pushy about becoming a better disciple, a better discipler, and a fully-submitted follower of Christ. Every week, there's a guilt-tripping question in small group. They insist on this culture of discipleship, and if you don't feel comfortable with it, "maybe this isn't the church for you."
Update on the pushiness:
The pastor preached 2 Sundays ago that when Jesús stated that He would be with the disciples until the end of the age, this is a conditional promise if you're in the mission of making disciples. In other words, if you're not active in the process, Christ is not with you.
Sorry to hear this! What kind of church do you go to?
@@guiltgracepod It's a non-denominational "____ ___ Bible Church".
I'm not saying I disagree with discipleship or preaching truth. What I do notice, and others at church, is the pushyness of it. I'm afraid it has to do with them wanting to buy or build their own venue.
Of course! Discipleship and preaching the truth are vital. Have you approached anyone in church leadership about some of these issues?
@@guiltgracepod I'm not very confident yet about going to them with this subject.
Why so?
I find it ironic that doctrine is put over character by churches when it is doctrinally correct to pay attention to character as that’s the exact priority the Bible highlights.