Why Your Toxic Ex Comes Back When You No Longer Want Them!

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ม.ค. 2025

ความคิดเห็น • 79

  • @keyhansaldjoughi9613
    @keyhansaldjoughi9613 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    My ex tried grass is greener, came back with tale behind her legs, i showed her a good time for 2 weeks and dumped her. 😂

  • @Dean-zn8du
    @Dean-zn8du หลายเดือนก่อน +29

    Nearly a year blocked and deleted I'm moving away from this creature.
    Who needs the stress.

  • @nickf2170
    @nickf2170 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    Block, block and block. Never speak to an ex, never leave any path to you open. Now, it no longer matters what she wants, this is now your turn, for what you want.

  • @chvsrbrt
    @chvsrbrt หลายเดือนก่อน +51

    Just recently went through this . Partner was definitely a narc. She left in the summer after being with her over a decade then tried to hoover me the day after thanksgiving after realizing i blocked her. she played these hot and cold games all throughout the relationship and looking back now i could imagine how many times she probably done cheated on me She tried Called me from a no caller id number and asked why i blocked her like nothing happened. I hung up the phone so fast after realizing it was her. I wanted to cuss her out so bad, but that would of just gave her the idea that I'm still emotionally attached. It hurts, But I'm finally pushing forward and being strong. Today its been 3 months of No contact with this demon. I truly hopes she doesn't attempt to reach out again.

    • @edbaxter
      @edbaxter  หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Good on you. She will definitely try again. The good news is that now you know all the signs, and the more to dive deep into the trauma the less her actions will affect you. Don't give her an inch.

    • @SSJ1Igor
      @SSJ1Igor หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      i feel you man. hot&cold games from someone "serious" with you is definitely a red flag. I'm sad to hear you had to endure this for a fucking decade. I've been in the same situation for a year and I kept overlooking all the red flags such as gaslighting, emotional manipulation, allergy to accountability, lack of respect that comes out of nowhere etc. And every time you think "okay I guess her excuse is valid, let's see if she's willing to actually do something about it". Becoming increasingly frustrated and losing my patience with her excuses is what lead to her to start a smear campaign and blocking me everywhere. So I suppose I'm blessed with this as opposed to your situation, as much as it hurt in the beginning.
      Focus on yourself and something you still have going on for you. Spike up those dopamine receptors with things you love to do and before you know it you're off the hook. It's working well for me so far. Gym, work, family time. Don't dwell on what could've been. And don't fall into the trap of self-pity. I noticed that when we broke up I would watch content like this for 5 hours a day, because I was surprised by how she played me almost to a blueprint of what narc abuse is like according to content creators and psychologists I see on youtube. Reinforce the idea that she is a narc as a coping mechanism to preserve no-contact with her, but don't try to bee overly pedantic or autistic about how hard you're exploring these things. At some point it becomes self-pity. Sure, look out for constructive advices on how to not fall into the same abuse with another girl if you're looking to find someone later once you're done healing, but never bathe in your despair. Let it set, throw that bitch into the oven and turn your motivation to 400 degrees and start lighitng up the rooms everywhere u go again. Its one life bro.

    • @EFV-Capital
      @EFV-Capital หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ​@SSJ1Igor Awesome reply, very solid advice mate. Been there done that and this is what works. 😊👍🏻

    • @SSJ1Igor
      @SSJ1Igor หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@EFV-Capital fuck yeah man! Im happy you got out of it !!

    • @jimscott-w1v
      @jimscott-w1v หลายเดือนก่อน

      this is the whole situation been together with her for 10 years. I wanted to break it off a year ago and it didn’t work. She kept a love bombing me. I did have a drug problem at the time too maybe to deal with it have a 3 1/2 year-old boy one night I was high and drunk at home with friends. She came back kicked her friends out caused a fight got physical got me arrested got a restraining order took my house. My lawyer took my money guard rid of my dog. We’ve been two weeks had another guy around the house asking her out somebody that I know within three months she’s moved in with him in and my kid been hiding him for ages will not admit it playing me along through my mum about trying to sort stuff out before we’re coming up to 67 months now still got the court case then the boyfriend her new supply messages me. telling me how much he loves her, you might think it’s fast but I’m in love with her. I will look after your son, but you’re still his dad. How **** up is this and still not got an answer from her saying that she’s with him, apparently I’ve blocked her on all social media cause I don’t want to see it, but I don’t know even if she knows that he’s messaging me because you’re an updated her WhatsApp photo to them being together. I don’t know if he’s being the controlling one now because she’s the victim and she was hurt and he’s a big softy. I’m looking for some advice to be honest because it’s been really hard.

  • @jay6817
    @jay6817 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

    I think we need to look at the deeper issue here, and that is Insecurity, most likely die to childhood trauma. Avoid these people where possible, unless you have zero choice, but in hindsight, avoid it altogether regardless.

  • @victorcapeluto8663
    @victorcapeluto8663 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    Excellent video my friend, I went through a similar situation recently, fortunately I did not marry her or lived with her, but she is very manipulative and toxic, I did not have peace of mind in our relationship, I finally realized the day my Dad passed away, she did not care and made a fight over something stupid on facebook the next day my Dad died, unbelivable... no empathy, no understanding... this kind of women are actually dangerous, I was blindly in love so I didn't see the big RED FLAGS... be careful guys

    • @jamesjones7798
      @jamesjones7798 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      I had this happen when my mother died my x girlfriend told me to get over it. I've heard many other stories about men and when they lose a loved parent there women turns up the heat on mis treating you unbelievable..

  • @darriuspeterson9165
    @darriuspeterson9165 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Broke up with a woman who’s just like this. Believes she’s the most important person in the world and nobody else matters. Now that I’ve stopped caring I see her making feeble attempts to get my attention in the gym

  • @michaelking9818
    @michaelking9818 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    At the end they can be very cruel when they don’t need to be , but they enjoy seeing you struggling but they don’t give you closure .

  • @LeeEverett1
    @LeeEverett1 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    Personally I've never had an ex come back despite treating them well. I genuinely think female dumpers rarely try to come back due to their abundance of options nowadays.
    I wouldn't ever take an ex back but I wouldn't mind the satisfaction of rejecting them.

    • @jimfischione2743
      @jimfischione2743 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I understand that!

    • @user-hk6wx7mp1g
      @user-hk6wx7mp1g 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      They only have an abundance till age 30.

    • @Tharvey83
      @Tharvey83 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Oh wait till they are above 30 / 35. Lol

    • @abdulhye
      @abdulhye 25 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Trust me, dumping them when they come back and don’t expect it is like Mike Tyson hook which opponent doesn’t see coming. Knockout !

    • @aplugsocket
      @aplugsocket 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Ive had multiple women come back. Whether it be exs or girls i hooked up with or talked to . Any how, its a bad idea either way it never works out as the guy says its more of a power play, to stroke her ego or shes heard you are doing better than before. Im so glad I realised this about people in general. Means I can differentiate the users from real ones.

  • @jrddoubleu514
    @jrddoubleu514 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    The perp almost always leaves the scene of the crime, before the victim.
    If you don't move or put up an electric fence, she's gonna come back for more.
    The trick is to instill a perception of null-value. Make her disassociate completely, and for good. Make her believe she's 'won'.
    Hide your gold.

  • @Drumbeat52
    @Drumbeat52 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Once you have been through it you can spot it a mile away. Same game book, same plays, same old game.

  • @TChalla-yg8bl
    @TChalla-yg8bl หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    Was love bombed and a rebound so I just blocked and deleted,game over

  • @chriswassil
    @chriswassil หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    This is absolutely 💯💯💯 spot on!! Listen closely gentleman 👂🏻👂🏻

  • @andziagreen4922
    @andziagreen4922 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Hello gentlemens, I'm a woman and came across this video while I'm healing from an avoidant man discard and looking for different resources to help in my recovery. I see there are men and women treating their ex partners like disposable toys which makes me sick. I blocked my ex, went 100% no contact and got rid of all the things which could remind me of him. I don't know if grass is greener for him because I am not asking around. I strongly believe in Karma and I pray for all of us who got treated like crap for not apparent reason. Those peoples behaviour has nothing to do with our value but everything to do with their character, insecurities, traumas, narcs traits and attachment styles.

  • @user-io6hj6lf1w
    @user-io6hj6lf1w หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This message never gets old ..these are lived experiences

  • @dennishaas4745
    @dennishaas4745 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    They only come back to get a better deal.

    • @progvisions
      @progvisions หลายเดือนก่อน

      or to finish you off

  • @dtjrealmc
    @dtjrealmc หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    it wont be worse.. everyday I hope she comes back

  • @isaiahortiz3378
    @isaiahortiz3378 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    Juat went through this. My wife and i were together for 11 years (7 years married). Shes an alcoholic and she was sober for 8 years until she relapsed. She started going to AA and eventually met another guy there. They began texting each other pretty much every day and also seeing each other every night at the meetings. This was going on for about 4 months and it caused multiple arguments between the two of us. This past October she eventually left me for him. 2 alcoholics living in a 1 bedroom apartment now. And the only time she texts me is to ask about when i plan on filing the divorce. Shes become very cold and cruel to me and making up lies about me (saying im abusive and controlling). Ive never raised a hand at her in our 11 years together.

    • @AbstractM0use
      @AbstractM0use หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I'm sorry you had to go through that, brother. You can't get those years back. All you can do is pick up the pieces and hope to learn something from it.
      My 13-year relationship ended 8 months ago, and I'm _still_ not over it. Even though we haven't spoken in all that time. It's getting better. It doesn't hurt as much, but I still think about her a lot. She'd already moved on into another relationship shortly after our breakup. I still have no desire to be in another. She'd been accusing me of cheating for a few years and was always anxious about it. I never did, but I found out she was the one cheating on me. She was still convinced I was cheating and is telling everyone she left me because of it. She's probably telling them I was abusive, too, but I wasn't. She was mentally and emotionally abusive to me, though.
      Her new boyfriend turns out to be my best friend's younger cousin, whom I've never met. (He wasn't the one I found out she was cheating on me with) She's already moved in with him. He's 16 years younger than she, unemployed and lives in a rundown old mobile home. According to my friend, he's also into partying, heavy drinking and coke. I guess she's trying to live like she's in her 20's again (she's 47). It's sad, because I think it's more out of desperation needing a free place to live, since she's no longer living in my house.
      We can both look back at them someday and feel grateful for the life lesson, and the fact that they can't hurt us anymore.

    • @216trixie
      @216trixie หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Well if she's begging you for the divorce what are you holding out for?

    • @isaiahortiz3378
      @isaiahortiz3378 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@216trixie she took $2500 with her out of our account. Not only that, but I've got 3 kids to buy Christmas presents for.

    • @johnhenningfield4360
      @johnhenningfield4360 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      The sooner the better….the sooner 👍

    • @colingibson3098
      @colingibson3098 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Abusive and controlling. Most of them say that, so they don't have to accept any responsibility for what they themselves have done.

  • @damianooi8261
    @damianooi8261 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

    1) Its less about you and more about power and control
    2) Manipulative people are always keeping options open/available
    3) They chase infatuation if they need excitement
    4) They seek validation from multiple sources
    5) The manipulator covets what you and other people have
    6) They dont want to give up any source of validation or control
    7) It could also just be a challenge and an ego-tweak

  • @tonymorph3672
    @tonymorph3672 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Unfortunately I have a young child with my cheating ex. She is still with her monkey branch guy 14 months later and even though she moved in with him after a couple months. All the signs were they would fail but still seem to be going strong. Be so much easier to move on if I didn’t have to be in contact due to our child.

    • @edbaxter
      @edbaxter  หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      It's true. I had the same scenario back in 2015. But think of it this way, all your problems and personal stories and way of operating that lead you to this situation would still be present. Not having the kid means you can just pretend it all didn't happen. Which means if you don't resolve these issues within yourself you will recreate this situation with the next woman.

    • @tonymorph3672
      @tonymorph3672 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@edbaxter that makes total sense thank you. The hardest part for me was the need to see their relationship fail and for him to suffer for his part in the breakup of my family but I realise that is my ego.

  • @1-7-0-1
    @1-7-0-1 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Good Man
    Thankful For Your Wisdom 🎄

  • @One_voice369
    @One_voice369 23 วันที่ผ่านมา

    YOU ARE 100% TELLING ME THE STORY OF MY LIFE!!! MONKEY BRANCING!!!

  • @bobw1909
    @bobw1909 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Derek Trucks ? Seriously, new subscriber ; you give some great advice and insight

  • @rickgoad-w9s
    @rickgoad-w9s หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Really enjoyed your video. I just watched incredible how it matches identically with the girl. I just ghosted her yesterday. We’ll see how it goes, but she is that to the tea. Thank you.

  • @cheezinhoweree
    @cheezinhoweree หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I wish I would have found you years ago .Top notch advice here thank you sir

  • @Omnitrix8
    @Omnitrix8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Same shit happened to me. Rather, she tried breadcrumbing me by liking my posts. I ignored the peanuthead!

    • @digidrum2003
      @digidrum2003 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Peanuthead😂

    • @chrisgault87
      @chrisgault87 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@digidrum2003😂😂

  • @kalingakrishna2705
    @kalingakrishna2705 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Your videos are highly useful to me, ED Baxter.

  • @EFV-Capital
    @EFV-Capital หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Mate your content is awesome, absolutely top draw. Keep up the great work brother! 😊👍🏻

  • @kaybeescoop8066
    @kaybeescoop8066 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Good game right there 🔥

  • @AussieBob999
    @AussieBob999 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Men dont want to risk getting divorced and losing most/all their money and time. Men are staying single for a reason - the downsides are far more than the upsides - which can be 'rented' anyway. Stay single, save up your money, invest wisely and retire early, and then get a Passport boys. Old school feminine loyal women who can and will cook, clean and make you feel like a man, are plentiful overseas where feminists have not ruined everything - SEAsia and Eastern Europe just for a start. I married overseas 10 years ago - now in mid 60s and life has never been better.

  • @TokyoRake
    @TokyoRake หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Great message again! Fire 🔥

  • @deepthoughts87-d4s
    @deepthoughts87-d4s 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    And you know bro once you watch these videos you see it coming

  • @symbologee
    @symbologee หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Nope, this doesn’t happen that much.

  • @dustinquinton
    @dustinquinton 25 วันที่ผ่านมา

    They won’t blow up your phone if you block them.

  • @Dean-zn8du
    @Dean-zn8du หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Till you find them out then they monkey branch

    • @funkymonk542
      @funkymonk542 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yup , your useless to them now

    • @Dean-zn8du
      @Dean-zn8du หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@funkymonk542 that's good least they won't come back.
      Happy days

  • @mabvutomwale4676
    @mabvutomwale4676 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

    My ex narcissistic wife tried to come back I told her fool me once shame on her if she can fool twice then shame on me I know the game 😎😎😎😎😎

  • @Rico-RR
    @Rico-RR หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Facts 💯

  • @BigItalian187
    @BigItalian187 9 วันที่ผ่านมา

    My wife isnt coming back. Been a month, she is a cold one.

  • @traviscarson9131
    @traviscarson9131 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Going through this now, ex wife left 1 year ago and wanted nothing to do with me. I have a new woman now and a 2 month old baby. Went fast and was un expected but it happened. Me and the ex wife have 2 sons together so we have to be in some kind of contact. Guess who started hitting me up for a booty call all of a sudden? The sex was fire fire fire with her and she knows it. Now she wants to use that as a way to make sure im still hooked. Shes very toxic and has screwed me many times over. I know I should not even give it second thought, but its difficult. I never wanted my wife to leave in the first place. I dont want to cheat on my current woman, but those sexy naked pictures that the ex sends are hard not to look at. The best thing I can do is stay busy and try my hardest to stay focused on my current relationship.

    • @colingibson3098
      @colingibson3098 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Don't walk. RUN!!!!

    • @michaelking9818
      @michaelking9818 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@traviscarson9131 sounds like trauma bonding run

    • @PathOfTheSunGod
      @PathOfTheSunGod 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Dont ruin your life for her bro

  • @robertpurpose
    @robertpurpose หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Facts!

  • @Oak535
    @Oak535 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    💯💯💯

  • @jasonenglish4531
    @jasonenglish4531 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    BEGONE 😂