This is a very much needed conversation ukhty.The 1st wife should needs to taught how to handle polygny and the man should be taught how to handle the emotions of his 1st wife.
I'm not muslim but im a woman and I'm human. The last census shows male and female world ratio to be 101 men to 100 women (check google) so women do not outnumber men which is one basis for polygamy. Lets raise daughters that are financially self sufficient and who do not have more children than they can cater for. If a man marries another wife you dont have to remain there if it destroys you mentally. We are not all the same. Let those who can handle it, do so and those who cant, walk away
No dear sis, it's not the ratio. It's much more. My answer to this would be lengthy, but to keep it short, marriageable women are more than marriageable men. We also have more male mortality than females, leaving us with widows. We also have other women with children either divorcees or just baby mamas that majority of single guys wouldn't choose as first choice. So, what then happens to these women? Some can't bear children for various reasons but with a healthy Polygyny, she could still get to meet her emotional needs for companionship and more. I just really have big issues with the malpractices. E.g. someone I know is divorced now with 5kids. She's well to do and the family are well to do too. Which single guy would settle with that? Not impossible but rare. She is 33years old. Would she now have to remain single for life? And in Islam, extramarital affairs are a NO. Yes, I agree that anyone who can't cope mentally should leave. It's definitely one of my options.
There is a non-muslim video on youtube called "Straight Women Need To Come To Terms With Not Finding A GOOD MAN" . Wife material women are far easier to find than husband material men.. in that video, different women deal with this issue different ways , some decide to be lesbians, others decide to remain single and use "toys". Others decide to go through all the bad ones and the traumas until they finally find the good man. To each its own. Us muslim women, when we have identified a good man we chose to be pragmatic and take advantage of islamic polygyny . It is not always easy but with true fear of god and the right intentions and behaviors, it can be a wonderful experience that has advantages for the husband ,each wives and the children, check "outstanding personal relationships" youtube channel....Those who cannot handle to be in such relationships are free to go, and we only wish them to find the right one from the get go. And by the way being in polygyny has never prevented any woman to be financially autonomous, quite the contrary in fact. This polygyny set up allows women to dedicate more time to their carrer or business, if they choose to work( and their money islamically is all theirs to use as they please, they never HAVE to contribute a peny in the family ,even on their own maintenance).
Us muslim women need to focus on Allah and only Allah's pleasure. When we learn to do that with every action we take and thought we have, men will be decentralized and Allah will be the center of our life. And everyone will benefit from that attitude of trying to please Allah(yourself , cowives, husbands, children and all other relationships) without even focusing too much on them.
I think the reason most polygamy face these challenges is our (man and woman) perception and understanding. This isn't the reason Allah institutionalize that institution. Common sisters, you ain't competitors but compatriots with the aims of betterment of the world. Brothers ur wife(s) are also partners and compatriots.
@@ummsulaymBintIslam I agree we are on earth for the mission to raise and educate a strong Ummah ...But Shaytan wants to divide and conquer, so it becomes a competition show. And we waste all this precious time , some even commit kuffr by using sihr. We will tell Allah on the day of jugement we stayed in this Dunya for "half a day or one day". Instead of being focus on the big goal , we were busy listening to shaytan.....Focus on Allah sisters, competition outside of the pleasure of Allah is an illusion.
I have never seen a set of ignorant people like you. Her crying emoji came after what she said in Arabic. You call yourself freedom, yet can't respect people's choices and freewill. For you information, we love and recognize Jesus, but he isn't our God. Jesus and us are all creations of the ONE TRUE GOD. To you, your way and to us, ours.
This is a very much needed conversation ukhty.The 1st wife should needs to taught how to handle polygny and the man should be taught how to handle the emotions of his 1st wife.
Na'am, we all have a role to play.
I'm not muslim but im a woman and I'm human. The last census shows male and female world ratio to be 101 men to 100 women (check google) so women do not outnumber men which is one basis for polygamy. Lets raise daughters that are financially self sufficient and who do not have more children than they can cater for. If a man marries another wife you dont have to remain there if it destroys you mentally. We are not all the same. Let those who can handle it, do so and those who cant, walk away
It's not about the ratio
No dear sis, it's not the ratio.
It's much more.
My answer to this would be lengthy, but to keep it short, marriageable women are more than marriageable men. We also have more male mortality than females, leaving us with widows. We also have other women with children either divorcees or just baby mamas that majority of single guys wouldn't choose as first choice.
So, what then happens to these women?
Some can't bear children for various reasons but with a healthy Polygyny, she could still get to meet her emotional needs for companionship and more.
I just really have big issues with the malpractices.
E.g. someone I know is divorced now with 5kids. She's well to do and the family are well to do too. Which single guy would settle with that? Not impossible but rare. She is 33years old. Would she now have to remain single for life? And in Islam, extramarital affairs are a NO.
Yes, I agree that anyone who can't cope mentally should leave. It's definitely one of my options.
@@ummsulaymBintIslam Well articulated ukhty
There is a non-muslim video on youtube called "Straight Women Need To Come To Terms With Not Finding A GOOD MAN" . Wife material women are far easier to find than husband material men.. in that video, different women deal with this issue different ways , some decide to be lesbians, others decide to remain single and use "toys". Others decide to go through all the bad ones and the traumas until they finally find the good man. To each its own. Us muslim women, when we have identified a good man we chose to be pragmatic and take advantage of islamic polygyny . It is not always easy but with true fear of god and the right intentions and behaviors, it can be a wonderful experience that has advantages for the husband ,each wives and the children, check "outstanding personal relationships" youtube channel....Those who cannot handle to be in such relationships are free to go, and we only wish them to find the right one from the get go. And by the way being in polygyny has never prevented any woman to be financially autonomous, quite the contrary in fact. This polygyny set up allows women to dedicate more time to their carrer or business, if they choose to work( and their money islamically is all theirs to use as they please, they never HAVE to contribute a peny in the family ,even on their own maintenance).
@nissa4644 You have nailed it ukthty
Us muslim women need to focus on Allah and only Allah's pleasure. When we learn to do that with every action we take and thought we have, men will be decentralized and Allah will be the center of our life. And everyone will benefit from that attitude of trying to please Allah(yourself , cowives, husbands, children and all other relationships) without even focusing too much on them.
That REAL POWER!
May Allah ease our affairs 🙏
I think the reason most polygamy face these challenges is our (man and woman) perception and understanding. This isn't the reason Allah institutionalize that institution. Common sisters, you ain't competitors but compatriots with the aims of betterment of the world. Brothers ur wife(s) are also partners and compatriots.
Na'am.
That competitor mindset is a dangerous one.
Allahul Musta'an
@@ummsulaymBintIslam I agree we are on earth for the mission to raise and educate a strong Ummah ...But Shaytan wants to divide and conquer, so it becomes a competition show. And we waste all this precious time , some even commit kuffr by using sihr. We will tell Allah on the day of jugement we stayed in this Dunya for "half a day or one day". Instead of being focus on the big goal , we were busy listening to shaytan.....Focus on Allah sisters, competition outside of the pleasure of Allah is an illusion.
Wrong mindset has make polygamy really scary. From the man to the wives, everyone is just seeking selfish interest. No feesebilillah 😢
I have never seen a set of ignorant people like you. Her crying emoji came after what she said in Arabic.
You call yourself freedom, yet can't respect people's choices and freewill.
For you information, we love and recognize Jesus, but he isn't our God. Jesus and us are all creations of the ONE TRUE GOD.
To you, your way and to us, ours.
Dear sis, Muslimgirl, you're so onpoint. Once there's feesebilillah, it gets easier and healthier