Slowing Down, Being Alone is Scary

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 ม.ค. 2025

ความคิดเห็น • 89

  • @kimr3755
    @kimr3755 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

    I'm glad to see you are learning to enjoy not being so busy. And adjusting to not constantly having people around. Sounds like a huge adjustment for you! I have always been alone and liked it. I love peace and quiet. One thing I have learned after being retired for four years is that it seems to be true that only one thing per day can be enough to call it a "busy" day. How I ever managed to get things done while working full time (and sometimes with 2-3 part-time jobs!) is beyond me.

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I too am amazed at how much I used to get done it seems I was nonstop for years. I feel like I’m breaking a bad habit, being so busy and learning to slow down

    • @ainihulugalle1195
      @ainihulugalle1195 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      As soon as I switched on to this video, I was sure I was seeing Scotland !! .. The lochs so familiar. ... Glad you got to visit the place of your ancestors.

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@ainihulugalle1195 it was so funny I was half way through the video and realized I hadn’t even mentioned I was in Scotland. Such a gorgeous country

  • @patriciateague8677
    @patriciateague8677 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    I'm an only child, so I got used to being on my own from an early age. I like socializing to a point, but I'm also an introvert, so I'm drained by social interaction and need time to recharge. Being in charge of my schedule after so many years reporting to a boss and working sometimes 60 to 70 hours a week has been life changing.

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Thanks so much for sharing. I’m looking forward to getting to a more settled place

    • @kwanyinlight
      @kwanyinlight 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I'm an only child and introverted, too. I truly understand. Being on my own is a natural thing for me. I'm not shy or stuck up (as some have called me), I'm just quiet, observant, and introverted. I'm social when I need to be, but being overly social can wipe me out energetically. I like setting my own schedule and living life on my own terms.

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Thanks for sharing this. We all come at this with a different life experience❤️

  • @MsDragunlady
    @MsDragunlady 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    Solitude, especially found outside, is one of my favorite things. I enjoyed your message today. ❤ Take care & enjoy Scotland!

  • @427ladybug
    @427ladybug 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Thanks for taking us on your excursion today. It seems an internal challenge to appear busy. Slowing down may be necessary. I'm learning to stay focused on having quality time no matter what activity I choose to do. I've slowed down after working 33 years. I've become a hiker, and joining a women's hiking group has been a wonderful treat. Your self-discovery at this chapter in your life is exciting. Cherish the journey.

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Thanks so much for sharing this. It means a lot.

  • @melissaf6707
    @melissaf6707 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    I love being in solitude away from the distractions of this world, where I can think clearly. Having a full calendar can drain me pretty quickly and take me away from my family.
    When I’m invited to events, my mantra is basically ‘If it’s not a “Oh, Hell Yeah!” then it’s a “no thank you”
    You’ll find a perfect balance on how to spend your time. Love your channel!

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thanks for sharing. Yes so looking forward to redefining and finding the perfect balance

  • @quinn-wf3kk
    @quinn-wf3kk 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Oh gosh I so relate to you, Laura. You're speaking about me too. This is an excellent channel for me to feel connected.

  • @SandraRossmann
    @SandraRossmann 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    What a beautiful setting for talking about solitude. I love this subject because I had to learn how to live INTO solitude. And now it is my friend and my spiritual guide. For anyone who struggles with solitude it can take time to feel like you’re at home when you experience it. Try small doses like short walks in nature or just sitting quietly and letting your mind wander until it quiets down. Solitude can become your friend if you give it some time and most importantly, your intentional focus.

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Wonderful advice! Thank you

  • @teachloveinspire561
    @teachloveinspire561 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Love your channel! I am a recently retired elementary school teacher and these chats are so helpful!

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I'm so glad! Happy you found the channel

  • @MJLOVEnow
    @MJLOVEnow 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I still struggle with the “meaning” of finding myself with alone time now, when I spent my motherhood/career years yearning for it. This phase of life sure does bring up and allow us to see our beliefs.

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I’m with you. I am sensing how much of a struggle this is going to be for me.

  • @bmccarley6539
    @bmccarley6539 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thank you so much for doing this channel
    I just found your site and I must say it is so heart warming to hear what you are saying
    I will continue watching

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You are so welcome and so glad you found the channel

  • @cindybaker9170
    @cindybaker9170 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    I’m blessed to have stumbled onto your channel. I retired three weeks ago and truly appreciate the topics you are discussing. These first three weeks I’ve been working on defining “productive” at this stage of life. How does the to-do list fit in? What seems to be working for me is to list 2 or 3 things I want to accomplish each day, but not imposing any rules that I HAVE to get the to do list completed every day. I am trying to be intentional about doing something fun (like walks or having alone time) in between tasks. This thing called retirement definitely takes getting used to a different pace and defining things differently than we may have in the past. Looking for ward to your future posts.

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thanks so much it’s definitely a process that we are all walking through, one step at a time

  • @redlikewineagain697
    @redlikewineagain697 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I definitely understand this. When I was 25, I broke up with my "high school sweetheart" who was anything but a sweetheart. My entire social life was tied to that relationship and the couple friends that we had. When we broke up, I lost those friendships and for the first time in my life, I was faced with being alone. And it was so scary to me. I remember that time as a very dark chapter in my life. I'd get in my car and just drive and drive and drive, all while playing Bob Seger's 'Roll Me Away" on loop. Because that's what I wanted....someone to just roll me away. I got through that and eventually learned to become comfortable being alone. I eventually made new friends and embarked on a very different road in life that would have never happened had I continued in that relationship. I grew stronger and became very independent. Then I got married at age 38 to a military man and guess what? He's deployed more than he is home. I see now that the dark period in my life was preparation for what was to come and that I needed to get strong and independent in order to be able to cope with how my life is today. I could have never handled this as a young person. And I think as we grow older, being alone is not the same as being alone when you're young. It's a lot harder when you're older (I'm 55). Although, it was unchartered waters when I was young. Anyway...thanks for sharing. Hope you're getting more comfortable with this new chapter in your life ♥

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  19 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Thanks so much for sharing this. I’m definitely a work in progress, slowly but surely getting used to more alone time. Happy New Year!

  • @rrichardson53
    @rrichardson53 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Scotland…. Wow! Lucky you to accompany your folks. I didn’t realize that you have a spouse. I have a spouse too but he’s in memory care now so I’m basically all alone (childless). My parents are gone. This has been a difficult year for me- transitioning to being full time caregiver to now being an orphaned senior.

    • @KAZHE63
      @KAZHE63 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I will be in a very similar situation, soon. Some of us with adult children will still be “orphaned”😔

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      So true especially if they live far away

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I’m so sorry. This stage of life has so much uncertainty and much of it is very hard. Hope you have some resources to help you

  • @AyaSmith-rb2hp
    @AyaSmith-rb2hp 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Good to see you enjoying nature and learning to enjoy time with yourself. You look softer, happier and healthier!Enjoy Scotland, such a lovely place and people.❤

  • @NancyStinger-ll6wt
    @NancyStinger-ll6wt 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Retired now and love it I worked full time for years and single parent. I was so burnt out and my last year of work I broke my foot and still had to work because my job was threatened which I did lose. It was a blessing that my retirement started about a year later and blessed me to not have to work anymore. I was literally sick from bully managers and various work environments and life stresses I am so happily single and love the solitude after years of sometimes having to put on a happy face at work etc. I love Sunday’s now which would deoress me for years because I was looking at work the next day . This is some of the joyful times in my life and well earned ❤️

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Oh my gosh you are talking to me, I hated Sundays starting around 2:00 pm when I started counting down the hours. I feel li,e I wished a lot of my life away waiting for Fridays. Excited to just take a break and figure out what I want to do on my terms

    • @NancyStinger-ll6wt
      @NancyStinger-ll6wt 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@laurahillauthorI used to think I was the only one that felt that way for a long time they have come up with a phrase for that called Sunday Scaries defined as the anxiety and dread before returning to work on Monday it’s such a sad state to think that is how we lived for so many years

  • @lorin2
    @lorin2 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Just enjoy every minute. Your new life will fall into place before you know it. I retired 6 years ago and started with a solo retreat 2 1/2 hours from my home (a campground) to just find peace. I enjoyed walks, did some knitting and sketching. When I got home, I fell into a habit of drinking my coffee out on my patio and began identifying birds that visited my backyard. I learned to cook, we renovated our home and we have done some traveling. I was going to a gym but got away from that when I was caring for my mother.
    Anyway, thank you for allowing me to share and know everything will be fine.

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thanks so much! I know there’s a lot to do out there, I’m going to enjoy looking

  • @lenorelopez748
    @lenorelopez748 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Beautiful setting. Been retired 1 1/2 yrs. There is plenty of REST and time to help in this world of sadness and need. Love your videos!

  • @realitycheck723
    @realitycheck723 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Love your channel. Enjoy Scotland. Enjoy your parents and husband.❤😊😊

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thanks so much. It’s wonderful to have this time with them

  • @VictoriasRoses
    @VictoriasRoses 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    WOW I love your location. How wonderful to go to Scotland. I love Scotland, my family were at Delgatie Castle in Turriff. Happy Birthday to your husband. Happy Travels.

  • @ljclauson
    @ljclauson 15 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    You’d enjoy the beautiful Pacific Northwest too.

  • @home-powersystems7782
    @home-powersystems7782 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I have been retired for 12 years now and I just turned 70 and the thing I enjoy the most is to help. A lady needed a truck to move a recliner, A single Church woman needed help with banging pipes. I take my assistant, a young man I have mentored for years now, with me and he is learning how rewarding helping people save money is. We have a tripping breaker to look at this coming Wednesday. Young Wilson is looking forward to our visit. You look great for 67 and a side note. My grandfather's name, Walter Gunn, is in a Gunn Clan Museum near Thurso. My wife and Daughter visited years ago and loved it. Your ruddy cheeks give you away. All the best.

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Love that you enjoy helping others. I know there are so many ‘new’ places that I can fit in, just need to find the right spot. Thursday is far northern Scotland, gorgeous country. I hope someday to see more of it💙🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

  • @silviediotte2048
    @silviediotte2048 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Very nice video, I love that you do them ( more now) in different backgrounds. Thanks

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Glad you like them! It’s a good way to get me out in the fresh air too

  • @cindyglass5827
    @cindyglass5827 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Being in Introvert, I always find topics like this very interesting as I'm [continually] able to learn so much from others who think differently / are different than myself ... I am very Happily married to my Wonderful Hubby & I love to Bake, I'm Generous & very Supportive of Family & Friends & strangers etc ''but'' as what I like to call *via* being ''the un-seen & silent'' partner : ) (no business involved here) ; ) ... N.B. A little background here, I was a Social Worker for 32 years : )
    ... that said, most of my friends are actually 'extroverts' & social butterflies : ) When some of them got near OR just entered retirement they asked Me - How do I put in the time / what do they do when nothing to do etc ~ I smiled & said, I'm probably thee 'worst' person to ''ask'' as I've ''always'' been like this [my whole life] ~ I know no different, & I love it & still do : )
    Many admitted that the 1st 1-6 months of Retirement was ''very'' Uncomfortable / weird feeling for them but after that - Life was Reallly Good as they ''morphed'' into a [as you said] New Normal as you are entering : )
    One thing is ... I would say [re: your comment about watching some things on Netflix] as ''not alone time'' etc Yes [per se] ''but'' No as YOU yourself are alone (no other human beings around you vying for your time attn, who need you etc) IF it's ''something that you enjoy'' or really haven't had the time to watch & it interests you, then Go for it ! : ) - I also said the same to a friend when she inquired about 'similar' so I posed this to her - Would or do you see ''going for a walk'' as enjoyable ? She said Yes, I then said did you help anyone or pay any bills w/ your phone when you were on your walk ? She said no : ) I said HOW is watching a TV show etc any different then ?? : ) Almost all my friends said ''I guess I didn't '''feel productive'' ~ ... I can't say that I was shocked to hear this 'but' I lovingly ''challenged them to [possibly] ask ''self'' ''why'' does the ''productive'' part ''still' mean so much to them ? etc Maybe still ''wrapped up in'' their Career as identity ? [or] doing {physically moving all the time = productive ? etc Answer = No: ) ~ Just some 'food for thought' ...
    As my closest friend once said [upon retirement] I feel like I'm dead now [ie] bored, useless, miss the break room at work for chatting / connection etc ... I reassured her & said, picture [in your head] that you're ''still' driving a car (standard transmission) but 'now' you're ABLE to 'not' be ''stuck'' in the same Gear anymore ! : ) Now you can gear up, Gear down, or ALSO go to the Gear your were in, in work mode but You Now have FREEDOM to Pick !! : ) She said you're Right, I have to get out of this ''All OR Nothing'' Thinking : ) !!!
    Today she now Volunteers 1 day / week at the same school she taught at her whole career, she's taking a Cooking class in Bread Making, she got a Gym Membership and 2 evenings a week she orders in Dinner [which they never really did her whole life] & Saturdays she stays in her PJ's all Day, sleeps in, brunch w/ champagne, may watch an olde movie, reads her girl magazines [& as she says - yes, from cover to cover finalllly] etc : )
    Anyways, I truly enjoy your videos / talks / sharing time etc : ) You're a Smart, Intelligent, Caring, etc Lady & I'm Happy for You that You will have some ''You'' time now : ) ''Choices'' / ''Change'' can 'feel'' weird at 1st BUT : ) as time goes bye ... they will Be Wonderful & Such A Blessing : )

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Thank you so much for this thoughtful post. I am definitely realizing that I was all about my professional identity. When I left elected office I went through a similar ‘withdraw’. This one is bigger but you shared so much valuable food for thought. I’m like you, I love the variety of experiences women have had, it’s helping me to learn a lot about my new self

  • @helenstewart4050
    @helenstewart4050 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I remember my mother’s neighbour really great woman like a second mom in the neighbourhood she was younger and said I can’t imagine having a nap in the afternoon and then she got older 😂😂I was thinking of something coming out of the grass lolol and you said it 😂😂Wow Scotland that’s amazing I’m so happy for you and Happy Birthday to your Hubby 🎂 I’ve been out back watching all the birds at the feeder it’s definitely interesting what you see when your still ❤️when you said trees that look like old men you have to look up there are eyes nose and mouth separate clay pieces you can put on trees it’s hilarious and then your statement is really funny and true ❤️enjoy and Thankyouuuu Laura ❤️❤️❤️🙋🏼‍♀️

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Oh yes I’ve seen those funny face pieces for trees. Glad you reminded me of that. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts

  • @dianecaird1697
    @dianecaird1697 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Always great, relative content. Thank you!

  • @kimdoughty2920
    @kimdoughty2920 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I will keep listening..deeply trying to understand”retirement”

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Glad you’ll be on this journey too!!

  • @priscillacummings4780
    @priscillacummings4780 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Just found your channel I can so relate! I retired at 67 & 8 yrs later I find I am so busy with mostly things I want to be busy with. All my choice! I love the solitude too. Enjoy Scotland!

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      So glad you found the channel! We are all navigating this ‘later life’ together

  • @jashodachawda733
    @jashodachawda733 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Enjoy your time by yourself

  • @wildflowerwind6941
    @wildflowerwind6941 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I can see you have a lot of energy and probably needed to be busy to use up the energy. And I think being around people takes more energy. You have a whole new way of life to discover being with only yourself.

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      True and am looking forward to it. Just want to be intentional with how I chose to spend my time

  • @caroldmaner1316
    @caroldmaner1316 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    How wonderful, I live in Central Texas and your absolutely right things aren't as pretty this time of the year. Just caught your video and nice and calming your walk is. My husband is 76 and in good health and I'm 69 and I can't get him motivated to get out in nature at his age. He would rather stay on tiktok all day 😢 I do have walks and hobbies praise God. ❤

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Glad you enjoyed a little bit of the Scottish Countryside. Contemplating some new hobbies. All my old hobbies I thought I would go back to once time allowed just don’t interest me anymore.

  • @evebenoit6368
    @evebenoit6368 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    What a lovely setting for a video ! I have been retired for 10 months now and still get hung up about being unproductive. Productive for what exactly ? I am 72 ! I have been in the workforce for 50 years and only in the last two years did I slow down a bit (working 3 days, and out of home). Still getting my bearings I guess....thank you for touching on subjects that are so important and rarely discussed 👼

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Feeling the exact same way as you! Love ‘Productive for what exactly?’ Lol so true

  • @onestepatatime4002
    @onestepatatime4002 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I'm 67 as well. I've been retired 5 years and have walked sections of the Pacific Crest Trail every year...my favorite place to enjoy solitude. Have you watched the Wander Women's TH-cam channel? Two women our age who have walked the AT, PCT and CDT.

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thanks for the lead, I’ll check them out. So many fascinating things that people our age are enjoying.

  • @brynne77
    @brynne77 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Gosh, this felt like a therapy session, lol. That's ok. Sounds like you're kind of on your own/without a job/work to do for the first time in a LONG time and don't quite know what to do with yourself and you're a little scared.... maybe a LOT scared. That's ok. It sounds like you're finding things to do and figuring out why you didn't let yourself get out and enjoy nature much. I think over time you will find more and more things to do and get more comfortable with the idea of being alone.

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Oh absolutely it’s just a process many of us experience. My channel may not be for everyone

  • @bthomson
    @bthomson 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    A Scottish forecast: If you can see across the loch it's about to rain and if you can't see across it is already raining!

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Haha thanks! We had a lot of rain. I loved it so much

  • @borleyboo5613
    @borleyboo5613 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I thought that looked a bit too green and hilly for Texas. Lol. Hope you’re enjoying Scotland and our British weather.
    I love living on my own. Just me and my cats. And I have my sister and her family for visits and outings. I am 68 and love my solitude. I’m loving this channel and I have subscribed. 👍😀

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      So glad you subscribed welcome! We had a wonderful trip love the British weather. I was never meant to live in a place like Texas🤷🏻‍♀️

  • @andreagardner2335
    @andreagardner2335 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I never judge myself on my past life, in terms of being busy. We live a thousand lives.

  • @robert4639
    @robert4639 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Laura, What are your concerns about the state of affairs happening to our Country ? The most important election in history is about to take place. How much of this “if I may” are you dialed into this ? Thank You

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I appreciate the question. I served in elected office for 14 years. All local City Council and Mayor, all non paying, all with term limits. My position is that I always vote, I always do my research, attend opportunities to hear directly from candidates. I wish all Americans participated in the process. I’m sad that we are so split, that we can no longer discuss politics without lines being drawn. I hope I can find someway to be a positive influence on bringing people together but my political days are over

    • @robert4639
      @robert4639 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@laurahillauthor I do wish that everyone would agree on one thing and that would be not to vote red or blue but Red White and Blue. Thank You again Laura

  • @ruthieclarke9125
    @ruthieclarke9125 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    It's sad that you never developed hobbies or interests in your life if that is the case. There aren't enough hours in a day for me to do everything I want to do and accomplish. I've been 'retired' for 14 years and couldn't be happier.

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I have a lifetime full of hobbies and volunteer work. This time of my life is considering new changes new opportunities it’s just a new process

  • @cristinapiano6190
    @cristinapiano6190 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Hello Laura ❤❤❤❤

  • @kathleenbrown6734
    @kathleenbrown6734 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    If your married your NOT alone!

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      True but still need to learn to enjoy being by yourself❤️

  • @faribayagoobian7721
    @faribayagoobian7721 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I love , love my solitude .
    Darling I am hearing a lot of nagging and negative energy recently from your videos . Am I wrong ?

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Nagging and negativity. Sorry but not understanding that. Definitely circumspect but guess that’s not for everyone

  • @jangibson1401
    @jangibson1401 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I’m new to your posts . Are you married ?

    • @laurahillauthor
      @laurahillauthor  3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yes sure am. Actually commented in the video that I was in Scotland to celebrate my husbands birthday