Gossip: What It Is, Why We Do It, and How to Quit It
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 พ.ย. 2020
- Jackie Angel talks about gossiping, why it’s so wrong, and how to avoid it.
There are two main reasons why we tend to gravitate towards gossip:
1. It makes us feel better about ourselves.
2. We like to know information about what's going on around us, and knowing secrets makes us feel special.
Regardless of how tempting it can be-and how harmless it often seems-Scripture has quite a bit to say about gossip and how destructive it is (James 3). Often the sin rooted beneath a love of gossiping is pride, which longs for ways to assert itself over those around them. In gossiping, we are putting others down or spreading knowledge about them in the hopes that it will make us feel or look better in comparison.
And even if it doesn’t start as something malicious or mean-spirited, like it says in James 3, one comment can start a chain reaction and lead to a much bigger rumor or false account of who someone is. Our mission in life as Christians should be to love our brothers and sisters as ourselves, and if we wouldn’t want certain information going around, chances are the person we’re gossiping about wouldn’t want it either.
Some ways to stop this temptation to engage in gossip is to think of these things before you speak:
1. Remind yourself that this person that you’re talking about is a child of God.
2. Ask yourself if you would say these things to this person’s face.
3. Ask yourself who you’re telling this information to: are you telling everyone around you, or just confiding in someone close to you?
4. Ask yourself if you would like this person to be talking about you the way you’re talking about them.
5. Discern whether this is something you can talk to them directly about.
When we gossip, oftentimes we are engaging in some type of false witness against another, so it’s important that we take these mistakes to confession and ask the Lord for his forgiveness. It’s also important to ask ourselves why we gossip and get to the root of the sin. This will help us avoid near occasions in the future and create healthier relationships with those around us.
If you want more from Jackie (and Bobby, and Fr. Mike Schmitz) about discerning your actions, definitely check out Pray, Decide, and Don't Worry (tinyurl.com/yyz39zbc), their discernment guide.
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Exactly. Married men have no business gossiping about single women. Pass it on ✌
Gossip is the dark passenger of bearing false witness.
Never heard it said any better or poingnant.
Wow
So how about if you discuss something that is true?
@@zion367 if you know it to be factual wouldn't change anything.
@@sedevacante0027 I meant discussing a challenging situation you encountered with another human being.. Not a persons personal stuff.
If someone gossips, it's a good measure of how much you can trust them.
May God & Mother Mary Bless Everyone & You ! 💗🥺💞✝️💕❤️💘
U2
Lovely 🙋🏻♂️❤️ God bless you too!!!
I don't love gossip. I tend to be the victim of it. I'm glad you're teaching people to stop it. It would be a better world. We tend to gossip against people who are the easiest victims: whom no one will defend. Gossip is the basis of all hate crimes, all discrimination, many suicides and the downfall of many people.
Jackie Angel seems so sweet in this video. I am definitely guilty of engaging in gossip - I think she is right that it is rooted in insecurity. I know mine is rooted in the sin of envy. I am often envious of women who are more beautiful, more intelligent and have an outgoing personality. I am guilty of omitting and exaggerating when I tell stories to make it sound more interesting or remove myself from blame. There are some things that are very difficult, to be honest about. I am on this journey to give my life fully over to God but I fear the Lord's conviction and seeing myself for who I am. I am aware I am very flawed. It has been recently called to my attention that I focus way too much on other people's lives and not enough on my own. I was so humbled and I cried. Next time I have problems with someone I should just tell them directly. I am very fearful of confrontation though. I have created drama by talking to every person but the actual person I have an issue with.
“Sin is a sign of something deeper going on” ... okay wow. Never heard it put like that but you are spot on! Think about it... original sin wasn’t some random occurrence. Eve did not trust God’s word, Adam was disobedient and the list goes on of underlying themes within Eden... all leading up to sin.
Amazing, thought-provoking video. Thank you Jackie! Prayers from Boston 🙏🏽
Reading St Francis de Sales ("Intro to the Devout Life") is quite sobering: ""Slander is a kind of murder; for we all have three lives--a spiritual life, which depends upon the Grace of God; a bodily life, depending on the soul; and a civil life, consisting in a good reputation. Sin deprives us of the first, death of the second, and slander of the third. But the slanderer commits three murders with his idle tongue: he destroys his own soul and that of him who hearkens, as well as causing civil death to the object of his slander; for, as S. Bernard says, the Devil has possession both of the slanderer and of those who listen to him, of the tongue of the one, the ear of the other.
...
But while extremely sensitive as to the slightest approach to slander, you must also guard against an extreme into which some people fall, who, in their desire to speak evil of no one, actually uphold and speak well of vice."
Ty
This is very helpful.
Amazing! Thanks!
Everyone in my life should have been forced to read this.
I have also fallen into the sin of gossips, may the Lord have mercy on me!
May the spoken words of my mouth, the thoughts of my heart win favor in your sight. O Lord. Psalm 141.
👍🏼👍🏼
Gossip is not a temptation if you like yourself and have a healthy self-esteem based on a true spirituality. That produces a love that seeks to protect.
It’s very hurtful to hear people in the body of Christ that tear down each other behind their backs. I love everyone and pray for those individuals that are doing this…. It costs them to be separated from God!
WOW! How true was all that!!! You hit the nail squarely on the head!
No way the timing of your videos can be so scary was just praying about it today 😍🙏🏼😂👍🏼
Nisi ni svjestan koliko je veliki grijeh dok ti ga Duh Sveti ne ukaze
Yes! Same here!🙏😊
THe problem with most (if not all) of the gossips I know is that they use the pretense of caring (even asking for prayers) for someone that they are really gossiping about. Completely phony. They are actually gloating that someone else either made a mistake, is suffering, (fill in the blank), or otherwise is in worse shape than they are. So many gossipers also like to control the narrative of what other people are talking about -- usually information that puts the focus on someone else. TOXIC
There are a handful of my coworkers who I want to stop gossiping about but the thing is I’ll say it to others and to their face. That prob makes it worse to be honest. I want to change but dang it’s hard to stop especially when you’re around these people 40+ hours a week and they just get under your skin
Gossip is one of my repeat sins. It's also one of the sins I have to argue the most about with others that it is actually the sin of murder. Their mind is blown that I think that way but it's true!
This helped me understand that I'm gossiping when I'm avoiding confrontation. Relieving stress by talking about the person when, if the stress is so much I can't carry it, I really need to talk about whatever that person is doing TO the person doing it.
A priest on EWTN I think said when some argue is the tongue better with communion, he said it's the reverence not the way we receive. The tongue he said is much filthier than the hand, it's full of sexual sin, gluttony and gossip. Gossip that hurts and ruins lives, true or not and we need to watch that more than most sins.
Wow. I needed this right now. Been trying to eliminate gossip from my life now for the last few months. It’s been working but occasionally I slip up. Luckily my boyfriend isn’t afraid to call me out when it happens. So thankful for him lol. I’ve noticed I gossip about gossipers now. That gets to me, but I am learning to let go, to no longer let others negativity get to me. I will get there!
You got this!!
WOW!! I went to confession and told this to the priest. What a great synchronicity. On point. ❤️
You have many subscribers here in Brazil 🇧🇷✌
Thanks!! Needed to hear this!!!👍🏼 I was caught gossiping about someone the other day, and I didn't even realize that I was doing it.
Not just Catholics. However, thank you for your definition.
I am so glad these videos are here🥰 showing people how they can be murderous to someone's character without physically killing them thankkkk you 🙏🙏🙏🙏
Thank you sister! The world needs to hear this as gossip is a horrible sin and is becoming more prevalent as men a s women are starting to backslide and become less mature not more which means they tend to gossip more.
Great!!!!! 👏👏👏👏👏
thank you Jackie! Yes, this is sooo convicting!
Praise the Lord Jesus Christ 🙏 Mother Mary Pray For Us 🙏Abba Father Bless us and we Adore You 🙏Holy Spirit Guide us and direct our paths 🙏
“Oh, shoot, dang!” Thank you for this video. I needed this.
Oh, Jackie...I like the tone, appearance and message of course 😍🌹❤️😊
Thank you for speaking on this topic. The advice and information you gave was something I needed to hear.
Wow, so powerful for me! Thank you for being so willing to talk about how you feel/deal with the same feelings or situations. I am not glad that you are not perfect (as sometimes that makes us feel better that others are not better than we are), but it gives me hope that I am not the only person who feels these emotions and there is hope and guidance in my Catholic faith for me to be a stronger follower of God. Thank you! I needed this video!!!
I love the comparison of being the same person while people are watching vs when there not! Inspired message for today.
Peace
Staying away from faulty indulgence is necessary to ensure live in sanctity of faith.
Hi Jackie, thank you for the videos you and Bobby put up in Ascension... They are always relevant and inspiring me to learn and persevere. Any videos you can make on single parenthood-motherhood? I am a single mom with 2 boys and life just gets a little heavy with responsibility and challenges and sometimes they are more constant & consistent than not. I am also wanting to bring souls back to God despite the ‘scandal’ of my life (which is probably the reason for the extra challenges.) Thank you so much! God bless you and your family and your life mission...
Thanks, Jackie, for this perfect timing, no other than God Himself guided me here, to reflect on my doings today.
Great video for discernment between gossiping vs be constructive in conversations with all persons involved.
May God have mercy on us all.
Ref;
Luke 12:3
"Therefore whatever you have said in the dark shall be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in private rooms shall be proclaimed on the housetops."
Thank you so much for this video! I am guilty of the sin of gossip and need to work on this urgently.
🙏🏼🙏🏼
I’m guilty of gossiping please Lord help me to die to self so I rely on You completely bless all who is reading this .Thanks Jackie ps May the right President rise up in America .Father bless all nations of the world
From Australia ❤️
ST. FRANCIS DE SALES: “Everyone paints devotion according to his own passions and fancies. A man given to fasting thinks himself very devout if he fasts, although his heart may be filled with hatred. A man doesn’t dare wet his tongue with wine or even water but won’t hesitate to drink deep of his neighbor’s blood by slander, vilification, and gossip. Another man thinks himself devout because he daily recites a vast number of prayers, but after saying them he utters the most disagreeable, arrogant and harmful words at home and among his neighbors.”
For something to be gossip two situations must be true. If only one is true then it is not gossip. 1. You must be saying something about someone that you would NOT say if they were in the room or you knew they had the room bugged. AND 2. you have to be saying it to someone who is not part of the problem or part of the solution.
Hey so I saw article once about how women should not be allowed to work outside of the home according to titus 2:5. Is this a correct interpretation? I'm confused and I wanna do the right thing. But thanks for a great video!
Hey Jackie, I was wondering if you'd do a segment on how to be calling out truth in this environment, without diving into hatred, righteous indignation or condescension. Also, is it a sin to be too opinionated?
Is sharing with a trusted friend that another has hurt you considered gossip?
No you need to outlet somewhere, but make sure it stays between you and that friend. When you explain your pain focus on yourself and not the person who hurt you. Stick I and me statements. In this way you can avoid changing your conversation into gossip.
I have found that a good way of avoiding gossip is to focus on following Matthew 18:15-17.
I feel like I have been a gossip my whole life. I'm a recent convert and I struggle to change this part of me. Having family come over and I just slip back into gossiping. How do you change that?
We have to realize how bad of sinners we actually are. You may have to take a look at your family relationships and may be dysfunctional and the Lord may want you to put distance or in some cases cut off the relationship. Gods Grace has been freely given to us. We didn’t earn any type of righteousness it was given
So a close friend told me that a coworker got fired and I asked why? Would we be guilty of gossip and if yes woul that be considered a mortal or venial sin??
what if I need to talk to someone about it because it is overtaking me or I need help with it. but I might talk poor of someone or something they had done to me. is that wrong?
❤❤❤
Why ascension presents didn't even mention anything about the elections which could be very decisive? Not trashing anyone but just curious..love the vids and Jackie
Talking about voting or politics is a slippery slope for the Church. Uncle Sam hanging taxes over our head and all.
th-cam.com/video/QCVzSIrb46o/w-d-xo.html not sure if this is what you're looking for? +Chris Hy
It might have to do with the Johnson Amendment. In other words affects tax free status.
@@sarcillas2960 thanks
It is no good!
When you love someone and they wont do right for themselves and you discuss it with your other friend- it feels like gossip. But I dont think it is. Its part of figuring out who to spend your energy on and who not to spend your wheels with. What about THAT? Because they are not going to accept the truth if you tell them directly-you will just get a fight.
Is it a sin to share things with your husband if it involves you. Like for example. If me and someone had an argument and I went to discuss this with my husband because I’m very sad or angry about it.
What if the one person you need and wants to talk too, doesn't want to hear or listen to you. What then Jackie
Would you count venting to someone as something that happened to you to be gossip? I usually try to make sure I don't insult them or trash them, and I try to just describe what happened or why I feel a certain way. I also make it clear that I don't hate the person. What do you think?
And another thing.......
first
Do you believe gossip is a salvation issue?
As Bernadette commented, please don't paint a broad brush about "especially women" who like to gossip. It's not exciting; it doesn't make anyone better, it's harmful. Avoid it.
Oh don't get me here starter, i have had so call good catholics, especially one in particular make slanderous lies about me have destroyed my reputation. It really hurts, so much that i ve stoped going to church period.
Your faith in God shouldn’t be moved because of what people say about you. You shouldn’t be going to church for people
@@DF-ei9kc what was the topic about? GOSSIP. I didnt ask for your opinion.
Sorry that happened to you 🙏
Sorry that happened to you, but you need to know that where ever the Lord is.. the enemy is, the devil and he’s waiting to see how he gets to you, how he gets you to leave. And I think he won over you by what you are saying. Return and be a testimony!
Why should iz be pride?
It's always leak of something, for sure .
The Bible 'book' = a compendium of fire side tales and fables,
recounted orally ,
for generations by goat herders and primitive tribes from the stone age,
until writing was invented,
and then, many different sources, transliterations, and versions were copied and written down..
''The Bible was created during a time where stories were verbally passed down over hundreds of years.
Stories constantly morphed and changed over time, and the Bible is a collection of these.
This is why it has the nearly identical flood story from Gilgamesh, and why Jesus has the same characteristics as Dionysus, Osiris, Horus, Mithra, and Krishna.
The contradictions and immorality in the stories are not evidence that God is flawed or evil,
but rather that humans invented him, just like the thousands of other gods that we used to, but no longer believe in.''
..and to answer the questions of the many fears and mysteries of our universe, like 'thunder' and earthquakes, since there was no science yet.
That was the old Testament.!
The new Testes is also hearsay since these letters, 'gospels' and stories were written by the loyal faithful, the camp followers,
not by objective historians at that particular time,
or by any contemporary writers,
and these tales were written many years after the supposed events of this mythical Jesus.
There is essentially very little evidence of a Jesus in real documented history.
A couple of spurious Roman reports, and all the rest anecdotal.
...but more importantly ...a jesus' existence is not an issue!
A jesus is irrelevant without a god!
Then, many of these stories, but not all, as many were not chosen,
[ There are more than just four Gospels but only these four were agreed on ],
were compiled for one self-absorbed converted Roman Emperor in his Nicean Council,
for his expressed purpose of conquest
and
control of the people of Europe for his Holy Roman Empire.
He recognised that this was the perfect religion/mythology for the future domination of the populaces.
Half of the stories were ignored by the Nicean Bishops and none have been proven to be based on fact.
This 'Bable' book is backed up by absolutely no facts and no evidence.
It is not proof for any god(s) ....(or of any jesus as a god...)
The fables are intertwined within historical places and people...
eg Egypt and the Pharaohs existed,
whereas Moses and the Exodus did not happen...!
It is a historical novel
.... ie A book of fiction.
Only!
The Bible book is proof of a book ... ONLY (certainly not evidence of any gods...)
PROVE a god!
You never define gossip. Is writing a novel gossip? Not helpful.