There is a German saying, that translates like: "The way you shout into the woods is the way it resounds back." And it means something like: "What goes around, comes around."
I swear, my favorite German phrase, when translated, is the "this is sausage!" one. You guys have a beautiful and lovely language, too! I just really love hearing European languages for some reason.
Meth heads never seem to have common sense. Last thing you wanna do is draw attention when smuggling drugs. But I guess she was high at that moment so the word of the DA to her was the equivalent of a beggar child trying to insult the empress of Japan
The EM was probably used to pulling the husband is cop card all the time that dealing with a DA didn't register with her. And to everyone out there, don't go to from a cop to a POS methhead or maker because it will turn bad in the long run. The fact that was a variable should have deterred her to just accepting the charges or just try to minimize it. Cause once she try to act like the DA is out to get her corrupt then that just open the floodgates
As soon as I heard "I don't know why your father bought you that hideous dress" I suspected divorce proceedings. The little girl probably still loved her daddy and that put her on her mothers shit list. And that tell soooooo much about the mother.
My son did that and now you owe him a new liver! He is a good boy and you encouraged him to destroy his liver! While you’re at it, give me a million dollars and your firstborn child as well to pay for all the trauma!!
True that! When I was a Deputy, I'd call our DA for warrents, even though I had the legal right to search. (Major crimes.) He LOVED ME! I made it impossible for a defense attorney to question the legalities of my searches. One involved the brutal robbery of $250k in cashiers checks. Instead of "Search incident to arrest," I got a warrant and it was a huge win for the county. So yeah, the DA is definitely the best way to go!
Imagine if she was an IRS lawyer. IRS lawyer-I'll make your life hell with multiple tax investigations. Kiflom. EM-DoN't TaLk To mE LIkE tHaT I'll SUE.👏👏👏👏 IRS lawyer- Unleash the beast. IRS agents - Ma'am we're going to investigate you financial history. EM - Reeeeeeeeeeeee, I know the cops. IRS - laughs- We're still going to investigate. IRS - finds financial fraud and tax evasion Ladies and Gentlemen we got them. Then dabs on Karen with lawyer.
I know what a district attorney is from Netflix, shows from DC, CW, and a few marble TV shows use characters that are ether trying to become DA or are DA
@Robert Who cares? It's a swear and I'm perfectly happy telling people that's pretty popular and I hate them. Edit is a typo that changed the entire comments meaning lol
@@sorrystilltrying5062 My uncle is a cop and he said the story was complete bullshit, he said in all his years of being on the force he’s never heard of 4 cars being sent over something as small as that.
@@GoodLuck-eh4sk I'm hopping that was just because EM was raising him. I hope that he gets through it with his dad. Especially now that there's no encouragement for his behavior. Maybe he'll grow up normal after an abusive relationship. That would be a nice change! Difficult, but worth it nonetheless!
@@glitchedjson4042 Agreed i hope that EM is in jail in till there in there early 20s or at least in till there late teens i hope they never get back with there mom too
I pushed a guy over a table for drawing on one of my sketches. Would have been worse if it wasnt just a doddle type one. Theu said I was over reacting but never touched my stuff again:)
Entitled Penitentiary This prison cell is too small! I DEMAND a bigger cell this instant! My sweet child has GOOD GRADES and he doesn't deserve to have his mother treated this way!
OP: Hey, can you turn your music down? My wives pregnant and she can’t sleep.. Them: No. OP: gets massive speaker and plays mo bamba for 28 hours Them: Stop. OP: No.
I’d play a combination of those beeping noises, disturbing Silent Hill ambient tunes, preachers, Gospel music, and ear raping pop music like Cardi B and Lady Gaga.
That little girl is so sweet, it breaks my heart to hear how awfully her entitled mom and brother were treating her and I hope they both get what they deserve
Same here. Not only do I hope that little girl gets removed from her entitled mother, I also hope the brother gets shipped off to military school, to clean up his act.
The only thing more satisfying than hearing about an entitled parent getting owned, is hearing about one loosing in a "parent fight" And being thrown into a cell
It depends on how OP defines 'simple'. Maybe he's just after simple things in life; a cold drink & a hot meal after work, and people that he enjoys spending time with.
Ok I actually didn’t catch that on the first time but that just makes zero sense in hindsight. Then again she is an entitled parent so logic and commonsense don’t apply to her.
Nobody: Absolutely no one: I swear to god not a single soul: rSlash: "I'm a very simple man, I only react to stories with emojies, because you know, I'm a simple man."
I LITERALLY CANNOT COMPREHEND WHY YOU WOULD DEFY THE AUTHORITY I CLEARLY POSSESS THOUGH I AM UNABLE TO PROPERLY EXPLAIN HOW I GOT IT, WHERE, OR HOW IT WOULD SUPERSEDE THE AUTHORITY OF OTHER NEARBY PEOPLE SUCH AS POLICE OFFICERS AND PROPERTY OWNERS
worst part is that 9/10 its true that they say that. I can attest to that. I've have numerous encounters with EPs at the place I work at. They are crazy people and absolutely hilarious to watch get escorted out by police because they threaten other customers.
"She's MUTE? No crying for help then, excellent, grab her stuff!" *5 minutes later in the back of a cop car* "How was I supposed to know SPEAKING to her mother on her phone was a bad way to get caught?!"
I have to say I disagree with your assessment of the final story- OP's mom wasn't overprotective at all, her disabled daughter was in VERY real danger and being attacked by an abusive EM. There was nothing "over" protective about it. Edit: I should clarify- I'm saying that her reaction isn't an overreaction at all, it's normal to be that protective of loved ones.
I feel that's necessary when you have such a huge disability like being mute, I have been mute for extended periods of time due to surgeries done in my throat area and I can tell you its a really good idea to have family know where you go so they can help you if you get into trouble or the like, since you can't call them.
He should have played some audio clips from the US Army's Operation Wandering Soul pyschological warfare program. This was from the time of the Vietnam War lol
He is a simple man who needs to explain this simple concept which so all simple people would understand. So simple enough. Simple man. Simple story. Simple enough right?
This story-telling episode is pure gold. You were totally in the zone when you put your spin on these stories. Best episode I've listened to so far and I've listened to dozens and dozens of them (probably approaching a hundred). Good job. You even had the presence of mind to tell younger viewers what a D.A. does. That right there is knowing your audience. I know this was posted a year ago and you might not read this considering there are 15k comments (!!!) but on the off-chance you do: If you are ever in need of analyzing an episode to judge your success, i.e. "what should I do that makes an episode most enjoyable to my fans", this one should be VERY high on the list.
I am no simple man, nor a simple woman. I am a simple human and I rate that first story: 🤭 to represent La Mentirosa’s face when this all blew up, and 📉 to represent La Mentirosa’s reputation.
I would like to make fun of you but 1. I don't know what monster high is and 2. I am currently up at 3 am watching this sh*t so I have absolutely no room to talk
@@jordanmooneyhan2226 Make fun of me, or Grass Seeker? The only reason I know monster high btw is because it was a crap show that my sister watched and the profile pic looked familiar
@@shaderz9407 i was refering to both of u but it was more or less ment to be a joke and no harm done if ya watched it. Like I said I've never even watched the show
@Boa-Noah you greatly underestimate how stupid some people are. If you are gonna say something sounds fake provide proof that it is otherwise you are just talking out of your ass.
a lot of leap of logic here, 1st I doubt the writer of the reddit would write the whole conversation word by word since it sounds like she is either in elementary school or MAYBE middle school at the time of the event, and could be writing this long time after which she really didn't clarify so hard to proof, 2nd what canine unit, you mean police friends? There is no specification that there were police dogs present in the scene, you are just assuming the dog had to be leashed because it would run off to a dog, no? 3rd-ly since this article has no specification about which county, or month, let alone year this took place, you'd have to read all the news of all the county of maybe recent 20 years to say 'you couldn't find the court case of this incident'. Or am I stretching the logic as much as you are with you?
Jovit ___ you’re right. I think there was a vague underlying text about something on the lines of being a simple man. I sometimes doubt it’s even there. Maybe I’m crazy
@@SheepdogSmokey Sometimes life is stranger than fiction. And sometimes a simple man's circumstances are more entertaining than your personal life. Does that make me a complicated man?
Final story should be in R/Nuclear Revenge because the EM got hit on the forehead by a trident ICBM with THE BOOK painted on it, and there is a book of law wearing a powdered wig holding a judges gavel.
Me too, but hopefully she now lives with her dad, who didn't seem as bad. Still sucks for her though, especially if the pos brother also lives with them...
I wouldn't blame the brother because like SG would've been if she hadn't of been saved, grew up in a bad home (specifically a bad mother). Still his actions aren't justified but the home he was raised in could also be the cause of him being a dick.
The DISTRICT ATTORNEY is a big deal, if Law and Order taught me anything. So the cops would give any situation from such a Big Shot automatic priority. Life bonus: +1 emergency priority within a radius of 2 That bonus is rare.
If you are a simple fan, rate a story using only emojis.
Also, don't forget to 👍💬🔔
rSlash :)
👍
Yes
👌😃
👍😊
"but mom, she's mute"
"she probably just *_said_* that to get you on her side"
*confusion noises intensify*
The daughter wasn't on EM's side in the first place
@@farmam1501 r/swoosh??
its literally right there right THERE
Hhahahhahahahahha I didn't even notice
*X-Files theme starts*
Savage Cake
Well actually he’s/she’s right though.
It doesn’t have to mean that he/she didn’t get the joke.
Hearing him say "La Mentirosa" with such flair is my favourite part of the story because I am a simple woman 😂🤣
Where is the comment "La Mentirosa" in a fancy font?
@@jayzo IDK but if you find it, let me know! 😂😂
afxinfinitee it’s the second top comment.
😐😐 simple emoji
@Sprinkly Gloom non merci (^-^)
EB: "My dad's a cop!"
OP: "Oh sweet, my mom's your dad's boss!"
*laughing sign language intensifies*
Not exactly how it works!
@@rustyshackleford9381 just go with the funky flow
Thomas Steele their pay rate is higher just as that EM is on meth
Why did I think EB meant entitled b!tch? We'll never know,
There is a German saying, that translates like:
"The way you shout into the woods is the way it resounds back."
And it means something like:
"What goes around, comes around."
...warte welches deutsche ist das kenn das garnicht xD
@@einnormalergooglenutzer3843 Wie man in den Wald ruft, so schallt es hinaus.
I swear, my favorite German phrase, when translated, is the "this is sausage!" one. You guys have a beautiful and lovely language, too! I just really love hearing European languages for some reason.
@@kingdionysus1867 Thanks! :)
You probably already know, but for everyone else:
"this is sausage" = "who cares" or "doesn't matter"
Karma's a bitch, and so was that woman.
No one:
Absolutely no one:
RSlash: 𝓛𝓪 𝓜𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓻𝓸𝓼𝓪
Yo how do you get your font like that?
@@AmazingAutist Laptop, with many fonts
*laughs in Spanish guitar sounds*
Aleo just mentirosa for brazilians.
Everybody: haha
Me on a shit old phone: those rectangles are cool
"My mom's the county's district attorney" ... This has to be the best and most unexpected line I have heard on rSlash.
That EM was so stupid for even challenging the District attorney. I hope the kids were taken away from that EM. Poor sweet girl :(
EM: "MY HUSBAND IS A POLICE OFFICER! LET ME STEAL YOUR STUFF!"
OP's Mom: "Hi, Entitled Mom? Bigger fish here, nice to meet you."
Meth heads never seem to have common sense. Last thing you wanna do is draw attention when smuggling drugs. But I guess she was high at that moment so the word of the DA to her was the equivalent of a beggar child trying to insult the empress of Japan
If I had a dollar for every time that guy called himself a "simple man"....
ger-man
@Blake Gaulzetti money is money
@Blake Gaulzetti Might want to count that again.
I cried everytime he said im a simple man. Each time crying. I love it
🤑🤑🤑
The morale of the last story - *NEVER MESS WITH THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY'S CHILDREN* - Especially if she's a huge Momma Bear
The EM was probably used to pulling the husband is cop card all the time that dealing with a DA didn't register with her. And to everyone out there, don't go to from a cop to a POS methhead or maker because it will turn bad in the long run. The fact that was a variable should have deterred her to just accepting the charges or just try to minimize it. Cause once she try to act like the DA is out to get her corrupt then that just open the floodgates
HECK YEAH!!!
" MOM shes mute "
Mom's logic : she just said that so that my daughter will believe she's mute
*silent confusion within mute girl*
Silent confusion lol
Literally no one:
Him: *I’m a simple man*
Literally no one:
K-Pop fans (aka you): OMG I LOVEEEEEE JUNGSHOOK AND TAEHYUNG OMG THOSE ARE MY OPAAISSSSS
k-dubs haha *AMRY found*
k-dubs same here fellow army
Literally no one::
OP: i’M a SiMpLe MaN.
I’m crying 🤣🤣
"I got a text saying sorry man you can stop now."
"I did not"
hahaha champion
Happy that mom is not abusing that little girl anymore. My heart broke at the beginning of the story.
As soon as I heard "I don't know why your father bought you that hideous dress" I suspected divorce proceedings. The little girl probably still loved her daddy and that put her on her mothers shit list. And that tell soooooo much about the mother.
Nobody:
The first guy: I AM A SIMPLE MAN
Edit: woah thx for the likes and the heart
My exact thoughts
I got so pissed off by how many times he repeated that
That was so fucking annoying
Yes he is very simple XD
I AM A *S I M P L E* MAN
As a Russian living in Germany: The Deutschland made me laugh more than it should XD
Same here.
Ich bin zwar nur deutsch, aber habe mir selbst beigebracht, kyrillisch zu lesen, obwohl ich nicht die Bohne verstehe.😂😂
@@frikkinpenguin Versuch mal babbel. Dort müsste Russisch auch sein. Wenn du schon schreiben kannst, ist das ein großes +
@@milkeli Ja ich hatte mal die Testversion, aber die Abos sind für mich als Schüler zu teuer
@@frikkinpenguin Lexikon für die Grundbegriffe.
@@milkeli Das habe ich mir auch schon überlegt und hab mal nachgeschaut, aber von Langenscheidt zB kostet ein Wörterbuch gleich mal 30€
You had too much fun with the word “La Mentirosa” 😂😂😂 love your content and attitude
Yeah I love the German that moves to UK but sprinkles Russian and Spanish phrases into his story.
Joshua Pearson oh god yea I just want to meet that simple man and shake his hand😂
I know, right? I laughed so much at that.
I love that the puppy in the last story had to be chained to the table so she didn't go to play with her police friends
I just love how every chance he gets he says “I am a simple man”
I know right it just it needs to be the new catchphrase of the channel
We can’t have a catch phrase we are a simple channle
Simple men are just like vegans they have to tell everyone all 2 sec
Take a shot every time he says “I am a simple man”
You stole my idea 😂😂
you can't make it thru the video before you pass out.
are you trying to kill someone?
My son did that and now you owe him a new liver! He is a good boy and you encouraged him to destroy his liver! While you’re at it, give me a million dollars and your firstborn child as well to pay for all the trauma!!
Normal or swedish shots?
The judge ain't shit. It's the district attorney you gotta be worried about
True that! When I was a Deputy, I'd call our DA for warrents, even though I had the legal right to search. (Major crimes.) He LOVED ME! I made it impossible for a defense attorney to question the legalities of my searches. One involved the brutal robbery of $250k in cashiers checks. Instead of "Search incident to arrest," I got a warrant and it was a huge win for the county. So yeah, the DA is definitely the best way to go!
@Gio Corvino prosecute any case indiscriminately? So they're grimy because they do their literal job. Ok friend what ever you say.
Imagine being in court and asking to speak to the district attorney's manager.
and it's the police chief
@@chriscarpenter3370in my city, her boss would be the mayor.
Probably the mayor or Attorney General.
Me: *Doesn't know what a district attorney is*
Rslash: *Explains*
Me: *Thanks the screen and apologizes TO THE SCREEN*
Me again: Wait a minute-
this exchange in my head
r/ " a DA is a cop lawer"
you "oh thanks"
. . . .
"hey wait a minute"
Imagine if she was an IRS lawyer.
IRS lawyer-I'll make your life hell with multiple tax investigations. Kiflom.
EM-DoN't TaLk To mE LIkE tHaT I'll SUE.👏👏👏👏
IRS lawyer- Unleash the beast.
IRS agents - Ma'am we're going to investigate you financial history.
EM - Reeeeeeeeeeeee, I know the cops.
IRS - laughs- We're still going to investigate.
IRS - finds financial fraud and tax evasion
Ladies and Gentlemen we got them. Then dabs on Karen with lawyer.
I know what a district attorney is from Netflix, shows from DC, CW, and a few marble TV shows use characters that are ether trying to become DA or are DA
You Canadian per chance?
@@arm279145 I can’t tell accents
Nobody:
LITERALLY NO ONE: *crickets*
OP: “DiD yOu KnOw I aM a SiMpLe MaN?!!!!”
2:00
Nyet друг is Russian for “No, friend”
Blyat is Russian for “F#$k!”
Couldn’t have laughed louder at this translation 😂
Thank you, good man
@Robert Who cares? It's a swear and I'm perfectly happy telling people that's pretty popular and I hate them.
Edit is a typo that changed the entire comments meaning lol
hey hey друг, дай пятюню
@Robert it's like a much worse version of Homer's "doh!"
also, if spelled differently, Blyad means "whore"
So, in reality, r/ actually UNCENSORED it? 😂
Am i the only one that feels like rslash got like, really good news before recording. He just sounds extra happy in this video
1. 🇩🇪👏😂
2. 🎶👌😈
3. 💯👏😍
Anyone else just absolutely adore the writing style of the first guy. He sounds like such a fun dude.
Yeah, and it might just be me but doesn’t he kinda sound like a simple man?
Lol
I'm just a simple man, so I can't really say...
Do you know of any way to put emojis on youtube other than copy and pasting?
@@kdmq 📱👍
Imagine fighting a district attorney and expecting to win especially when she's got to the point of mama bear
So, you really believed that story? Have you ever read young adult fiction novels?
@@sorrystilltrying5062 what are you on about?
@@bookworm2511 it was a joke. the story sounds like the imagination of an Y.A. fiction novelist. Most likely not true.
@@sorrystilltrying5062 oh sorry I thought you were being rude and try a start somet, my bad
@@sorrystilltrying5062 My uncle is a cop and he said the story was complete bullshit, he said in all his years of being on the force he’s never heard of 4 cars being sent over something as small as that.
That first story 😂 I died at the "I ride the choo-choo all the way to my new workplace"
Lol. Same.
I made a tree from wagons
XD
@@spectralkits7769 how did you git it work? /•_-\
Sean Holland yes I would 😎
Me: You told me to rate it with emojis, but
You: don't you dare
Me: is it on my contract?
You: god f*cking dammit
over a year later you made someone's day with this comment XD
@@LaucenChevaleir over a year later i see this reply and it made my day
He need to give this comment a Heart now
.
if he is a simple man
That last story was just *GOLD!*
I hope the kids are fine now with their dad, and their mum *NEVER* gets to abuse them *EVER* again!
That is also what I was hoping!
Yea and i hope that EB stops harassing his sisters thats no way to treat family
@@GoodLuck-eh4sk
I'm hopping that was just because EM was raising him.
I hope that he gets through it with his dad. Especially now that there's no encouragement for his behavior.
Maybe he'll grow up normal after an abusive relationship. That would be a nice change! Difficult, but worth it nonetheless!
GUYS I HAVE NEWS KAREN DIDNT TAKE THE KIDS
@@glitchedjson4042 Agreed i hope that EM is in jail in till there in there early 20s or at least in till there late teens i hope they never get back with there mom too
The District Attorney mom is my hero
man i wish my mom would defend me from meth addicts in a mcdonald's
ShinyHunterPC78 same holy shit, that story was absolutely insane!
I want to hug the mute person
Just in case you didn’t know...
He is a simple Man.
Oh Thanks! I Had No Idea!
Xyabyte Adoxia
Oh your welcome good sir, happy to help a fellow Samaritan.
“*snatch* my sketchbook is grabbed and taken off my table by EB*
Me: *Inner German rages*
this is the only reason I know how to throw punches, so that people who take my things get a punch to the throat
Lets just hope you dont get rejected by art school
@@toshtaggart2510 I actually got into art school 😂😂
I pushed a guy over a table for drawing on one of my sketches. Would have been worse if it wasnt just a doddle type one. Theu said I was over reacting but never touched my stuff again:)
@@toshtaggart2510 LOL hold up
the only question I'm left with is
Is he a simple man?
Not at all. He has layers, like an onion. Onions have layers, he has layers.
@@coffeestainedstudio5316 its you shrek ?
“But is it written in my contract?” OHH MY GODDD
All we need is a prison or jail for only Entitled Parents
Entitled Penitentiary
This prison cell is too small! I DEMAND a bigger cell this instant! My sweet child has GOOD GRADES and he doesn't deserve to have his mother treated this way!
I can imagine the guards stressed out of their minds on the daily basis working there.
Compa Yoshi Like NO I CANT LET YOU OUT STOP ASKING AND I DONT CARE HOW GOOD YOUR CHILDS GRADES ARE
BEEG BEEG YOSHI!
Why Am I in prison I am a good mother and my daughter plays soccer so I shall not be put in prison!!
Somebody needs to put a “I’m a simple man” counter in the corner
Okay Entitled Mom vs. District Attorney Mom is my new favorite r/story xD
It's in my top 3 with the Bone marrow entitled mom and the story of the entitled mom in the Bus who tires to stole a DSi
My favorite DS game.
Best story, 10/10
oh that sweet sweet karma!!!!
Same though
Right when I heard about the district attorney I was like:
“This, does put a smile to my face.”
OP: Hey, can you turn your music down? My wives pregnant and she can’t sleep..
Them: No.
OP: gets massive speaker and plays mo bamba for 28 hours
Them: Stop.
OP: No.
XD
XD
😂
No. Play a constant ringing noise and wear some muting headphones so you can't hear them. (DISCLAIMER: this is a joke)
I’d play a combination of those beeping noises, disturbing Silent Hill ambient tunes, preachers, Gospel music, and ear raping pop music like Cardi B and Lady Gaga.
That little girl is so sweet, it breaks my heart to hear how awfully her entitled mom and brother were treating her and I hope they both get what they deserve
Same here. Not only do I hope that little girl gets removed from her entitled mother, I also hope the brother gets shipped off to military school, to clean up his act.
brother likely out on the street at 18, SG love and affection from dad
@@danacarter9147 she was, since mom went to prison for a long time and drug charges as serious as those invoke automatic loss of rights
LMFAO THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY MOM VS ENTITLED MOM IS THE BEST STORY EVER
The only thing more satisfying than hearing about an entitled parent getting owned, is hearing about one loosing in a "parent fight"
And being thrown into a cell
I mean... it sounds like a very very very fake post. But if it is true, it would be great.
@@myroomiscold5687 Even if it was fake, still entertaining to me lol.
@@myroomiscold5687 Skepticism =/= fake
MyRoomIsCold of course its fake how can a mute person tell what her mom was saying on the phone 😂😂😂
0:09 - 5 minutes early to get There, 5 minutes early to Leave
5:34 - Music Revenge
9:48 - Entitled Crazy and Kid vs a Mute Girl and Her Mom
Something about that story makes me believe that he’s more than a simple man
It depends on how OP defines 'simple'. Maybe he's just after simple things in life; a cold drink & a hot meal after work, and people that he enjoys spending time with.
He is complex lol
Entitled Mom logic: 13:20
Sweet Girl: She's mute
Entitled Mom: No she's not she just told you that she was mute
😭😂
Does mute mean blind or can't hear. English isn't my first language.
@@strahinjafilipovic9804 Mute means she can't speak.
Ok I actually didn’t catch that on the first time but that just makes zero sense in hindsight. Then again she is an entitled parent so logic and commonsense don’t apply to her.
River Greystoke II r/wooosh
I feel so bad for the little girl in the last story that she had to live with her abusive mother and I hope the dad gets custody
Yeah I'm sure he did since he got the district attorney on his side
Cooking meth in your basement is a big no-no for CPS, so yeah.
BrokenCurtain yeah, its a form of child abuse
And that’s what it sounds like, just a story
@@markdavids2511 Nobody said anything about the validity of the story, so go try to start an argument with that somewhere where people might care.
Nobody:
Absolutely no one:
I swear to god not a single soul:
rSlash: "I'm a very simple man, I only react to stories with emojies, because you know, I'm a simple man."
😂😂😂👏👏🤣🤣
🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂
you: emojjes
I love everything about this one. ESPECIALLY the one with the entitled mom messing with the mute girl. I freakin LOVED IT. 😂😂😂
I would inhale oxygen, but, well... I'M A SIMPLE MAN.
Justin Borttger would you inhale only 1 oxygen atom?
@@bruhknight6197 Well, It depends on how simple my means are!
You cannot get any simpler than this.
@@bruhknight6197 Ah, yes I can. It is, well, simply stated by all simple means, I AM A SIMPLE MAN WITH SIMPLE STANDARDS.
i mean, i would type a reply but well... im a simple man
That last story is... EASILY, one of my favorites of all time. Top three. Wow...
what we learned from this?
he is a simple man
s o n j a yep
Who tried to get rid of his stupidity by sticking a Vaccumcleaner in his Butt. XD
god that story was annoying. 1) he kept writing in other languages than English 2) he had to point out every second he is a ''simple man''
l a m e n t i r o s a
@@ulfenburg7539 painful to hear tbh
I'm a spaniard, and because I'm a simple woman, I can say that the way he said "La Mentirosa!" is very funny.
I have noticed that Entitled Parents always say HOW DARE YOU?
People are just like this
Alohagirl 54 *HOW DARE YOU?!*
I LITERALLY CANNOT COMPREHEND WHY YOU WOULD DEFY THE AUTHORITY I CLEARLY POSSESS THOUGH I AM UNABLE TO PROPERLY EXPLAIN HOW I GOT IT, WHERE, OR HOW IT WOULD SUPERSEDE THE AUTHORITY OF OTHER NEARBY PEOPLE SUCH AS POLICE OFFICERS AND PROPERTY OWNERS
worst part is that 9/10 its true that they say that. I can attest to that. I've have numerous encounters with EPs at the place I work at. They are crazy people and absolutely hilarious to watch get escorted out by police because they threaten other customers.
Mr president
17:54 let me fix it for you: "The difference is one is just an entitled parent, the other is a freacking Lioness"
OP: I'm a simple man.
Some people: I'm a slightly complicated man.
EP's and EK's: *I'm an impossible, 13 dimensional man.*
Also EP'S and EK'S: *has the brain capacity of a 3 year old*
im a mildy simple but also a bit complex man
*I am the invisible man*
"She's MUTE? No crying for help then, excellent, grab her stuff!"
*5 minutes later in the back of a cop car*
"How was I supposed to know SPEAKING to her mother on her phone was a bad way to get caught?!"
I have to say I disagree with your assessment of the final story- OP's mom wasn't overprotective at all, her disabled daughter was in VERY real danger and being attacked by an abusive EM. There was nothing "over" protective about it.
Edit: I should clarify- I'm saying that her reaction isn't an overreaction at all, it's normal to be that protective of loved ones.
Not in that moment but op mentioned that she usually tells her mom where she is and regularly calls her so I guess she was overprotective in that way
I feel that's necessary when you have such a huge disability like being mute, I have been mute for extended periods of time due to surgeries done in my throat area and I can tell you its a really good idea to have family know where you go so they can help you if you get into trouble or the like, since you can't call them.
@Cinnamon Tootsie Roll I think that the mother would know that the EM was full of shit when she said that his mute daughter raised his voice XD
@@Motorata661 you mean 'her' right?
rikulight90 did you just assume moms gender?
Is it in my contract?
Me: 🔥OHHHHHHHH🔥
“DONT MAKE ME GET MY HUSBAND, HE IS A COP!” And, “IN A DISTRICT ATTORNEY, I WILL GET YOU BEHIND BARS FOR A LONG TIME” made me go...
😮 🥴 😆 😂 🤣
🌟🌟🌟
Especially when you are in the middle of a Nasty divorce yeah that'll work all right
Is it awkward that I don’t understand my own comment?
I lost it at "Geneva Convention breaking..."
He should have played some audio clips from the US Army's Operation Wandering Soul pyschological warfare program. This was from the time of the Vietnam War lol
“Mom she is mute” “she probably just told you that”
Uhm..... 😂😂
Lmao
What do you expect from a meth head XD
@Adithya Nair wow
Well stupid mom is stupid
Well, "told" sometimes means "wrote it down".
That guy said “I am a simple man” seven times
What? He is 😂
I'd say more than seven
He is a simple man who needs to explain this simple concept which so all simple people would understand. So simple enough. Simple man. Simple story. Simple enough right?
hummingbird 823 That makes sense
🤣🤣😂
I am a complex man. I refuse to speak in emoji, and instead prefer to use onomatopoeia.
Moo.
It seems you are a complex type of ungulate
Woof
Meow
Growl
Hiss
This story-telling episode is pure gold. You were totally in the zone when you put your spin on these stories. Best episode I've listened to so far and I've listened to dozens and dozens of them (probably approaching a hundred).
Good job. You even had the presence of mind to tell younger viewers what a D.A. does. That right there is knowing your audience.
I know this was posted a year ago and you might not read this considering there are 15k comments (!!!) but on the off-chance you do:
If you are ever in need of analyzing an episode to judge your success, i.e. "what should I do that makes an episode most enjoyable to my fans", this one should be VERY high on the list.
I’m a simple man
I see r/slash post
I watch video
I laugh
I’m a simple man
I'm a simple man I see comment i agree with
I press like 👍
R/ (slash again)??
I'm a simple man
This comment is good
I give like
I also give comment
Even a emoji
☺
I go to next r slash video
What a simple man
"Don't wana turn your music down? ok." **gets massive speaker, plays BFG Division at max volume for 3 hours**
As a Simple man, I think this is beautiful
im a simple man, i see a Doom/Mick Gordon comment, i upvote
Zeke Pendeman personally (as they are anti Cristian) I would find the cringiest, most annoying religious parody song and blare it at full blast!
@@jacobc8036 ah, you must also be a simple man!
vivent I think there was one for gannam style so no...I am not simple I am a demon! 😈
Well... this video is a year old, and I STILL find myself whispering 𝓛𝓪 𝓜𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓻𝓸𝓼𝓪 , at completely random times.
lol i say mentirosa all the time too!
but my first language is spanish so does it count?
@@ericrodriguez5592 yes
yes
do you still say... 𝓛𝓪 𝓜𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓻𝓸𝓼𝓪?
@@MewnFrostFang yes lol
I am no simple man, nor a simple woman. I am a simple human and I rate that first story: 🤭 to represent La Mentirosa’s face when this all blew up, and 📉 to represent La Mentirosa’s reputation.
But seriously, is that District Attorney mom single? Cuz I think I'm in love
The first one was like:
Ok, I know you're a simple man, STOP SAYING IT
Is... is your profile pic Monster High? If you know it, I respect you xd
I would like to make fun of you but
1. I don't know what monster high is and
2. I am currently up at 3 am watching this sh*t so I have absolutely no room to talk
@@jordanmooneyhan2226 Make fun of me, or Grass Seeker? The only reason I know monster high btw is because it was a crap show that my sister watched and the profile pic looked familiar
@@shaderz9407 i was refering to both of u but it was more or less ment to be a joke and no harm done if ya watched it.
Like I said I've never even watched the show
@@jordanmooneyhan2226 It's ok. My comment was a joke aswell
No One:
Not a single soul:
Literally nobody:
OP: ‘I am a simple man’
😂😂 yo that first story is comedy Gold. And the dramatic flair with which RSLASH says "La Mentirosa." Is sheer perfection.😂😂
Man that first guy’s writing style is so nice and satisfying to read over
He is just a simple man XD
that's interesting, since that's the first person in one of these stories that i found unlikeable as fuck.
Wevena he just keeps saying simpleman
jotaro kujo
Yare yare daze
The last story was by far my favorite Prorevenge story. A true queen!
Not prorevenge
thats in my opinion supposed to be on nuclearrevenge
@@rickvanderleck3604 Fucking yass queen. I love some of these stories primarily because of what happens to the EP/EB/ES etc
Dont you mean A True Kween?
That last story made me so mad, but the resolution of it all was just soooo SWEET!
Its was satisfying that last story😂🤣
EM’s a bitch
Yes thank god the dad was nice and the kids could go to a much better home tho
I felt so bad for SG (and EB after the ending). No one deserves to be in that situation.
🌲 🐈 👮
Ems a slut
In all the mess bolt leashed to a table so he doesn't run off to play with his police friends was the best part lol.
That last one... omg. Best ever revenge story with a quick turn around I’ve heard in a long time. Absolutely perfect.
@Boa-Noah you greatly underestimate how stupid some people are. If you are gonna say something sounds fake provide proof that it is otherwise you are just talking out of your ass.
@Boa-Noah dude get proof before you say something dumb
@Boa-Noah things dont always make the news.
@Boa-Noah you claim it is fake af so does that not mean that the burden of prove lies with you?
a lot of leap of logic here, 1st I doubt the writer of the reddit would write the whole conversation word by word since it sounds like she is either in elementary school or MAYBE middle school at the time of the event, and could be writing this long time after which she
really didn't clarify so hard to proof, 2nd what canine unit, you mean police friends? There is no specification that there were police dogs present in the scene, you are just assuming the dog had to be leashed because it would run off to a dog, no? 3rd-ly since this article has no specification about which county, or month, let alone year this took place, you'd have to read all the news of all the county of maybe recent 20 years to say 'you couldn't find the court case of this incident'. Or am I stretching the logic as much as you are with you?
First story:
😯😂 😖😩
Mute's story:
😱😡😆 😨😰😱😳😲 👩💩👧💖
BTW the Mute's story is my favorite of all.
True
i guess she just wasn't a simple women
same
The mute one sounds so fake
Glad someone said it. It's terribly fake.
Something tells me that the first guy is a simple man idk what though
thisnamestakenha maybe when he said he was a simple man? No, can’t be...!
Mama told me when I was young
"Come sit beside me, my only son
And listen closely to what I say
And if you do this it'll help you some sunny day"
I would like this comment, but is it written in my contract?
@@jalexwheeler7751 for a second I thought you were quoting lady gaga but then I was disappointed
OP with the loud neighbors needs to just put Baby Shark on a loop.
I’m not entirely sure, but I think the first guy is a simple man...🤔
Erica TheQueenOfBadIdeas How do you know?
Beefy i don’t know..? I just get this feeling ya know?
Jovit ___ you’re right. I think there was a vague underlying text about something on the lines of being a simple man. I sometimes doubt it’s even there. Maybe I’m crazy
Erica TheQueenOfBadIdeas noooooooo fucking way dude
idk 'bout that bud. maybe you picked up on something i didnt but nothing he said made me think of him as a simple man
The mute girl's mom is now my personal hero
*LA MENTIROSA*
I’m a simple man.
This is life.
Are you sure? I'm now asking myself Is this the real life, or is it fantasy.
@@SheepdogSmokey Sometimes life is stranger than fiction. And sometimes a simple man's circumstances are more entertaining than your personal life.
Does that make me a complicated man?
@@nic6752 Not really, I just need to delivery my lyrical setups better.
I LOVED that last story. One of my favourites, honestly.
Word Count for:
Simple man
Counted about: 10 times
Edit: woah thx for the likes 😂
I hated how he said simple man
What a nice guy 😂
....and every time he said it, I kept thinking of Lynyrd Skynyrd.
Job interviewer: so what kind of a man would you describe yourself as?
R7Ronin it was way more than that 😂
7:05 This man is the definition of Lawful Evil: being an a-hole while exploiting loopholes in the rules to get away with it. XD
Jakob Gustafson who said chaotic evil was fun when you have lawful evil
Lawful Neutral - he did not start this war
@Mad Jack I never thought of it that way, interesting.
Malicious compliance is a thing. So is r/maliciouscompliance. You should check it out.
"She probably just said she was mute to get you on her side!!!" But...
Wait a minute....
[Intelligence 6/9] Hold up...
[Luck 3/7] Aurora Borealis?
[Medicine 80] That's... not how being mute works
Serina Sanchez that EM didn't realise the IRONY of her OWN COMMENT!
SG is too precious thamk god she isnt getting abused anymore
Final story should be in R/Nuclear Revenge because the EM got hit on the forehead by a trident ICBM with THE BOOK painted on it, and there is a book of law wearing a powdered wig holding a judges gavel.
Is it just me or does that mute girl sound pretty cool?
Hell, the mother is too, if I'm honest. :p
does that "mute" girl "sound" pretty good lul
She writes pretty cool but i dont know if she can sound cool...
oh, the irony
confused how she knows what her mother is saying on the phone and what voice.
@@calebsharp6723 She's not deaf.
Lmfao so funny how you read the first story
*_L A M E N T I R O S A_*
Don't you dare swearing in my christian Minecraft server
BSD Fan censored* yes I know it's what happened 😂🍑⬇️
1st Story-👏😁
2nd Story-🧨🎆🤭
3rd Story-👌
aa yes another simple man
You forgot 🇩🇪DEUTSCHLAND
Ah, I see that you're a simple man.
A simple man is a 😎😂😁☺
Dang he pulled a fast one on third story
That first story was exquisitely written.
bro i was legit hurt with the last story, poor SG
Me too, but hopefully she now lives with her dad, who didn't seem as bad. Still sucks for her though, especially if the pos brother also lives with them...
I wouldn't blame the brother because like SG would've been if she hadn't of been saved, grew up in a bad home (specifically a bad mother). Still his actions aren't justified but the home he was raised in could also be the cause of him being a dick.
Should have been given to OP's epic family
Jevil ikr
In the first story he is *A SIMPLE MAN*
Mama told me, when I was young
Said sit beside me, my only son
And listen closely, to what I say
And if you do this, it will help you some sunny day
@@expectnomercyracing730 shinedown reference :D, I like it
I listened all his "simple man" whole time and didn't skipped even once.
I doubt on myself, I never had that much patience
"нет друг" which mean "no friend" and is pronounced something like nyet droog with sharp r lol
Okay, stupid question- what is a sharp r? I can only say r one way, I can't roll it or anything. (My attempts to do so greatly amuses my family, btw.)
*anime villan about to win * VICTORY IS MINE
*OP* i am a simple man...
*villan* guess ill die
Nyet друг means No, friend.
Cheers from Russia!
so friend in Russian is drug?
нет друг
@@anhthiensaigon yes. but not like drugs, U is pronounced like in June
thanks
Everyone knows what nyet means, and what apyr means because of the memes. So it should be slightly obvious
I'm fairly sure "nyet apyr" is said like 'nyet droog' and means "No, friend." Like saying 'No way man, this doesn't work for me'
The DISTRICT ATTORNEY is a big deal, if Law and Order taught me anything. So the cops would give any situation from such a Big Shot automatic priority.
Life bonus:
+1 emergency priority within a radius of 2
That bonus is rare.