How to Build a Life Full of Meaning and Purpose (ft. Arthur Brooks)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ก.พ. 2025
- Today, I sit down with Arthur Brooks, a renowned social scientist and happiness expert, for a deep dive into the realms of meaning, faith, and love. Our conversation takes unexpected turns as we explore the intersection of spirituality, psychology, and personal growth. From discussing the evolutionary roots of our search for meaning to examining the role of faith in modern life, this episode challenges conventional wisdom and offers fresh perspectives on age-old questions.
We cover a wide range of topics, including the importance of boredom in fostering creativity, the dangers of political activism as a substitute for religion, and the keys to a successful marriage. Arthur shares insights from his work with the Dalai Lama, explains why young men are increasingly turning to religion, and offers advice on finding meaning in a world dominated by technology. Whether you're grappling with questions of faith, seeking to understand the nature of love, or simply looking for ways to live a more fulfilling life, this conversation will leave you with plenty to ponder and explore further.
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Chapters:
0:12 Arthur and Mark's failed music careers
6:28 Trading meaning for acclaim
11:41 How to live a more meaningful life
19:28 Is finding meaning a 1st world problem?
22:27 The role of religion and/or spirituality
25:43 The meaning struggle for young men and women
29:44 Is religion making a comeback?
37:48 What's love got to do with it?
45:12 The case for religious/spiritual practice
49:58 Healthy forms of spirituality
55:22 Dealing with toxic people
59:52 Spotting the people who will bring you down
1:02:44 Marriage and meaning
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Theme music: “Icarus Lives” by @Periphery, used with permission from Periphery.
I just wanted to comment that I love that the video just starts without a preview! Thanks!
This was fantastic, and really insightful! Thank you!
I agree wholeheartedly with needing meaning in our lives. It makes sense, because it gives us a sense of fulfillment. And you cant get fulfillment unless you have meaning or purpose.
I also agree with keeping life simple. Too many things are a hindrance not a help, and we get overwhelmed and frustrated.
The marriage thing was most definitely interesting!
Folks should watch the Wim Wenders film “Perfect Days.” The main character is a public toilet cleaner in Japan. He’s a solitary individual (never lonely, there’s a distinction) and finds his life’s purpose in what he does fulfilling. He’s utilitarian and has routine. It’s a masterpiece.
masterpiece! Also, why are japanese toilets so damn fancy? :D
Around halfway through and this is a very sad episode, basically saying people are so lost that they rather believe in something they know is not true and harmful to them.
Having lost my entire close family, small as it was, starting from when I was 9 up to my late 20's and now only having my mom, the fact about younger people not fully appreciating their family until they lose them is something I can deeply relate to. And with the state of society as a whole nowadays and the whole loneliness pandemic I think cherishing your family is more important than ever. That and just being as patient as one can with other people. We all face pretty much the same hardships fundamentally, we all want simmilar things, we're all gonna die.
I recommend reading The man search for meaning by Viktor Frankl. The purpose of each individual varies from our experience and what we give importance. Marriage is not for everyone, nor religion.
Dude spent 30 minutes chilling before he broke out the Religious inception machine.
I'm midway through the pod (43 minutes, in, so maybe that gets addressed later), I think in this whole conversation "knowing", "understanding" are used interchangeably, talking about religion is if religion itself is not made up by humans and it's some fundamental concept of universe, while it actually isn't. As far as I know the storytelling it's an evolutionary trait that we developed to explain world around us (and communicate ideas in terms of folklore tales, which eventually became fiction books, like Lord of the Rings, etc..). Essentially it's just our made up coping mechanism in attempt to survive in the world, nothing more. Just because some stories (Christianity, Islam, others...) became popular they don't make them true. Those are just tools of communication, so you can understand the meaning of the communication, but you cannot "understand" it in context of revealing some fundamental secret of the universe.
I've mentioned this before, it's worth saying again - Church as community is a thing of the past and I doubt we will see it again. For the past 10-15 years at least, Church - whether that's Catholic, Protestant or even Unitarian Universalist - is an agenda. The expectation to toe a line, pay to join, etc is inescapable. I understand the need for community, I really do, but Church as an institution has become too divisive and polarizing.
I usually like Arthur, but I found the ideas about keeping money separate in marriage being immature to be obtuse. The legal hurdles people have to face dealing with the death of a spouse, let alone situations like escaping physical abuse or problems like substance abuse make it a necessity.
Looking for these thoughts, my sentiments exactly.
Oh yes! Looking forward to another great book by Arthur Brooks.. I was expecting an intellectual teardown (or at least intense questioning) by Mark Manson, but instead we got an almost religious-conversion by Arthur Brooks! 😂😂😂😅😅😅
5min in and Arthur thinks he knows what it’s like to be a meth addict. I’ve read and followed most of this guy’s work and he gives himself way too much credit. Basically just tries to make a science out of his Catholic values and redefines happiness as a direction and not a feeling.
Yes, this.
He also talks way too much and doesn’t engage in conversation. Very matter of factly, holier than thou give. Reminds me of me when I was a self assured 20-something know it all.
@ Spent his life blowing French horns and now he just blows hot air.
Explains a lot that he’s Catholic. Enjoyed Mark’s work but will have to unfollow after this garbage.
Before I listened to this podcast I felt lost in life. 51 minutes into this and I'm starting to feel suicidal. I'm not religious and was looking for something else other than religion. However I still like the podcast. Personally I'd rather be a nihilist.
This guest is terrible.
Great conversation !
Fantastic conversation. I never heard of Arthur before, would love to see him on another podcast, and I will explore more of his work. Any recommendation for his book?
Hey, my para-socoial love for mark is real!
Great episode!
My religious journey has been great. I managed to become a healthy Catholic hand-to-hand with my wife, while dodging all the dark triad cult traps that permeate the organized religion.
Come join the club Mark!
Not really buying on the divine stuff, but I get why it's popular nowadays in the US.
Ultimately, we continue to look up to the divine when we can't make sense of reality, as we were doing with the Lightning thousands years ago. The only difference is that we reach that frontier only during middle life nowadays, since we know so much.
But ultimately, everything makes sense, with the proper knowledge. The divine is not a solution, just an easy surrender.
Already don’t like going to the gym but going anyway for obvious reasons. now he is saying i need to make it even worse by doing it in total silence 😱
15:00 I completely recommend moving to Ireland! We'll have your existential crisis sorted out in no time 🙂
I recognize that many people need to find or create meaning in their lives, and while I don't personally share this need, I understand it's an important part of their experience. My perspective isn't about rejecting meaning, but rather about finding peace in its absence. God and any religion also make zero sense and seem to be net harm in the world.
I agree. Searching for meaning can cause a lot of damage to one. Sometimes the best approach to life is enjoying it regardless of self-imposed circumstances.
Thats probably because your definition of meaning is something very big and life-changing. It doesnt need to be. And I think the last thing you stated has a massive impact on your view of meaning... One thing is connected to the other.
Yeah, cause The Big Boom was just a bunch of explosives stored next to a fireplace and we were created out of pure coincidence.
This is my favorite podcast! I look forward to Wednesdays.
Mark be like: I don’t give a f*ck what you say about this episode
A very wise man. What a shame he's a bad listener. He kept saying "yeah" and interrupting Mark all the fucking time.
This podcast achieved its purpose. First time hearing of Mr. Brooks and now I want to read everything he has done.
Love this episode!
Yes! Mark Manson n Arthur Brooks in the same room! 😊
Looks like there is a bot promoting a book in this comment section
I’ve spent 25 years going to church… no thanks I’ll find my community in another place
Love this! And looking forward to Arthur's book as well.
I listen to this podcast almost weekly, but I had to turn this off after 30 minutes. 'Where can young men find a date? The Church!' Never heard such drivel in my life. Organised religion is a scam. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
I couldn't make it to 14 minutes. The full-grift vibe was just too intense.
I get what he's saying. I've tried the church route and I saw plenty of people who can be happy in that environment--it works, just not for everyone, nor did it work for me. Inner work is what seems to earn me the most "progress," personally.
The point isn't that one is being funneled into a church for the sake of joining a religion, but rather because there are others there who share the level of care the individual does. They seek some deeper meaning, and the people in that environment often do as well. They go over this in the podcast later.
I was tempted to turn it off too, Arthur seemed to be stepping on Mark's toes for his beliefs but I don't think that was his intention, he just wanted to set up a play to get his points across. Now if that's right or wrong one can debate on, but I don't think he's trying to belittle anyone or funnel people into the church.
Yeah, it gets worse. Time to unfollow Mark as well.
He did state that he would be doing stuff that would drive the audience away. May god bless you all religion haters that are leaving ❤
Guest quality has been going downhill for a while.
The comment around people who are religious when young and drifted away, are likely to come back later in life. I can say for me, in seeing the behavior of my church (Southern Baptist), I can say that is highly unlikely for me. The issue is not belief in god but rather belief in the organization.
Yes humans have the tendency to corrupt everything. There are some honest folk and decent churches that try to live up to the glory of God but they will always be a shadow of the real thing. The great thing is that we are totally capable of having a relationship with our creator (YHWH) on our own. Healthy communities (if discovered) are great for bolstering our faith. Cheers !
Really great episode. 🙏🏻
Ok, I am a Catholic and Thomistic theologian so I know what he is talking about. The problem is he, like me, also believes that humans are created to be united to God (heaven), and God is the being (being itself itself) who transcends everything else and encompasses them. Thus, as humans, we have an emptiness in us that can be only filled with God and nothing else. And our physiology, naturally, reflects this (frontal cortex etc).
In short as St. Augustine says “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.”
Problem is that this means nothing to atheists… He assumes that it does but it does not. You cannot white wash belief in divine and expect atheists to get along.
We can only agree with atheists that there is a logic and system to our belief (which requires them to study it). But we cannot expect atheists to recognize that there is a transcendental divinity that you need to cling to have a meaning of your life. Atheism requires a person to be strictly materialist and transcendence does not go along with materialism…
So although I agree with what he believes (I have the same belief) I do not agree with what he says.
Is it just me that noticed the loud breathing thoughout the video.
Aww man I really tried to stick this out but by minute 42 I just can’t stand listening to this religious coded unthinking drivel coming from a guy who is clearly extremely smart and scientifically rigorous and a critical thinker in the other parts of his life. The one proof in this podcast ep is that those qualities of smarts, rigour and critical thinking and also blind unthink parroting of things in a book of made up stories can coexist in the one person.
The title of this video is misleading.. Should have included that this would be based on religion. Why should someone who doesn’t believe in god be urged to still go to church? lol give me a break. this is not the only way to find purpose or meet people.
Yeah, conservative agenda disguised as helpfulness.
I liked how this conversation began, quite nuanced and based in reality and science. I however didn't appreciate seeing this guest push his religious views so hard not only on the audience but directly on Mark. It made me so uncomfortable for him and I also loved Mark's attempts to get the conversation back on a more grounded footing. I've read all Mark's books and listened to him for years because he is nuanced and grounded. This guest is not demonstrating those qualities whatsoever and the message around organized religion is actually quite tone def given the current state of affairs with far right wing / white supremacy cults co-opting Christianity for their own agendas. Also didn't appreciate the generalizations "more young men than ever are flocking to Christianity", in America? White young men? Oh I wonder why? 😅 Likely not for the reasons this guest is assuming. The whole thing is off and not at Mark's usual level.
Hell yeah! This guy is smart as a whip! Great brain food.. I marvel at great communicators like these guys. Grateful for this podcast.
The comment about finding it hard to date so, "just goto church and sit in the back" felt so bizarre to me.
Mark is being Christ-Pilled 😂
Mark just forgot he wrote "Everything id F*cked", Where there's a pretty good section called "How To Start Your Own Religion"
Bro, whatever you are on... can you give me some of it???
I wonder what his perspective on psilocybin is. You can get that transcendence and “divine” from a hero dose.
*So this is how it feels to drop the first comment.*
one night i was scrolling through my phone, feeling like i’d never figure out why some people just seem so magnetic. then i came across this book, Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and something about it caught my attention. reading it was like turning on a light in a dark room. it’s not about pretending to be someone you’re not; it’s about unlocking the energy you already have. trust me, this book is worth every page
Hey bot, no one cares about your spam
"Your faith is only as meaningful as the doubt you overcome." - my son, a rabbinical student in Jerusalem
Bookmarks, brother
Steve jobs is that you?
With all due respect, his response does not sound scientific... tough he's social scientist. He's escaping the real question with concept of divinity because it's an easy answer to everything. All the religious values are deep rooted & kind of good but we cannot associate everything with that. Relegion now is not the way it was. It seperates us. So idgaf whatever he says.
Please help me understand the difference between Catholicism and a cult.
The amount of money they have
What I found as ironic was Arthur being so pro religion, yet his warnings of the dark triad.
Narcissism - God is pure grandiosity and the ONLY way according to religion
Machiavellianism - The whole relationship with the divine is characterized as sheep serving a shepherd.
Psychopathy - claiming to be the only true arbiter of good and evil
One of the fatal flaws in religion is that faith is curated and pre templated for its followers to learn. Is it really your faith if It didn't originate from within you?
I think the attributes you listed are obviously negative when we attach them to a human because humans are fallable and unrighteous. YHWH is infallible just and merciful. The result of our decisions and actions are held up to holy righteous justice. If we decide to jump off a building on Earth and gravity sends us to our death we wouldn't say that gravity is machiavelian or evil. Gravity is law. God's laws are just like gravity and they are explained to us. Just as we are subject to the laws of a nation that we are born to or reside in; we are subject to the Laws of nature and to the laws of our creator. We cannot escape it but we can except it. As is true we can decide to break or follow the laws of our homeland; we can break or follow the laws of the God and suffer or benefit from the choice. Free will is to make a moral decision.
I would say following faith solely originating from within is having a "god-complex".
inchoate, adj. - just begun
Hmm.. I was expecting it to be a bit non-religious talk. Disappointed…
best episode so far! :)
Lost me at 22:00
That book played a pivotal role in Western history. So it's pretty valuable to have some knowledge on it.
This guy (the guest) says absolutely nothing new.
I mean, nobody says something new nowadays.
i remember this one time i felt like no matter what i did, people just didn’t notice me. i tried everything-confidence boosters, social tips, you name it-but nothing seemed to work. then i found this book, Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and it completely shifted how i saw myself. it’s not just about being noticed; it’s about understanding the energy you project. honestly, this book made all the difference for me. if you’ve ever felt invisible, you need to read it.
Damn, this got real homophobic towards the end.
This church salesman is unbearable
Political activism is your own ethics and values that you enact into the world. Acting on your own values in the political sphere doesn't put you in a cult. Sheesh. Otherwise some decent stuff in here
I know its crazy to be the third comment
Why don't you have kids, Mark?
there was a time when i kept wondering why some people seemed to naturally draw others in while i was just…there. no matter what i tried, i couldn’t figure out how they did it. then someone mentioned the book Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and i decided to check it out. the way it explains how your aura affects everything around you? it blew me away. it’s like having a secret code to unlock your magnetic energy. this book is a game-changer.
i used to think being magnetic was just about looks or confidence, but i couldn’t have been more wrong. i read this book called Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and it totally changed my perspective. it breaks down the energy and mindset behind true attraction in a way that just makes sense. once i started applying what it taught, i noticed people reacting to me differently almost instantly. it’s seriously worth a read.
i remember feeling like i was always the one fading into the background while others stood out effortlessly. it was frustrating and made me doubt myself a lot. then i came across this book, Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and it showed me things i’d never even considered. it’s not just a self-help book; it’s like a guide to understanding your own energy and using it to connect with people. if you’ve ever felt like you’re not seen, this book might change everything.
So the new guest list is just "random grifters" now?
Love Mark. Arthur not that much. This conversation was ok
Dont let anyone determine what you need or what is "small" or "big" change. Never let fools on social media with neatly quaffed hair preach to you about "validation" and direction in life. Do what is positive and try to give selflessly and do it at a comfortable level for YOU 🫶💪🙏
there was a time when i kept wondering why some people seemed to naturally draw others in while i was just…there. no matter what i tried, i couldn’t figure out how they did it. then someone mentioned the book Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and i decided to check it out. the way it explains how your aura affects everything around you? it blew me away. it’s like having a secret code to unlock your magnetic energy. this book is a game-changer.
i remember feeling like i was always the one fading into the background while others stood out effortlessly. it was frustrating and made me doubt myself a lot. then i came across this book, Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and it showed me things i’d never even considered. it’s not just a self-help book; it’s like a guide to understanding your own energy and using it to connect with people. if you’ve ever felt like you’re not seen, this book might change everything.