As a former group home manager I can sadly confirm that many people make the hateful assumption that physical and developmental irregularities are mostly caused by the mother, smoking cigarettes, using drugs or otherwise not being a health nut and staying in bed for 9 months. I have Marfan Syndrome. I was born with bone deformities. These things happen on a regular basis. All kids really need is love and support. Who cares if they’re not all the same ??You’re a wonderful Mom and your Son is beautiful 💖💖💖
I know about Marfan syndrome sadly because Osama Bin Laden had Marfan syndrome and I was watching a show with an intelligence agent talk about it and how sick it made Bin Laden. He needed dialysis etc.
@@c-LAW Don’t even get me started. I fought their useless bureaucracy to the point I had bleeding ulcers. I made myself sick trying to keep my clients healthy.
The treatment was disrespectful and jumping to conclusions. Even if there are some mandatory tests in cases like this, they should never assume anything beforehand. It would be reprehensible to treat that anybody like that, even an actual "crack head." Sounds unprofessional and inhumane.
I am a pregnant recovering drug addict who is currently on methadone. I’m shown medical discrimination all the time based on me simply having SUD (substance use disorder). Add in the methadone, and it gets even worse. And then on top of that, now I’m pregnant. And even tho it’s MORE dangerous for me to even attempt to taper off methadone while pregnant, I’m still judged by regular people and some medical providers even. And it’s sad to say bc i shouldn’t have to learn to expect this behavior or deal with it, but I do. Bc of my history. And I understand many people are blessed to not have to understand the horrors of addiction. But see? Stigma like this doesn’t ONLY affect current or former drug users/abusers. It affects “regular” people too. All the more reason to stop looking at drug abuse as a moral failing and instead look at it as a treatable disease. Bc that’s what it is. (I had this as a stand alone comment also, but it seemed extremely fitting as a reply to your comment so I copied and pasted)
My second child was born 15 weeks premature. This exact thing happened to me. Drug tested, zero drugs in my system, and they still harassed me for the entire 3 months we were in NICU. This mom is absolutely awesome.
people of all walks of life can be so rude. hey just feel sorry for those ignorant people. they must be unhappy campers to push their rudeness off on the innocent. God bless you.
"I don't want pity. I want respect." This mother is a fighter for her son. I pray they're able to live together ❤️ as a family soon. It's heartbreaking 💔 that policies are separating them.
They just don’t care and it is too late for her family as far as her hubby and other sons! They are divorced and the other sons are grown. Shame on the government!
Tres definitely knows and anticipates when Chris says "3, 2, 1..." when throwing a toy and really seems to enjoy it. It's amazing how well the cannabis helps Tres. It's criminal that doctors would refuse to treat him because he takes it and it works. Bless Tres and his loving, caring mother.
My daughter was born at a severely low birth weight, no fault of my own, she just is different. But because she was so so small, I wanted to wait until she was older and had more body mass before her father and I consented to give her vaccines. This was actually at the advice of my stepmother, who was a registered nurse specializing in pediatric care for over 45 years. It’s not just some thing I came up with on my own thanks to TH-cam 🤦🏽♀️ …and despite my stepmother coming to each appointment and explaining her reasoning, backed up with medical documentation to prove what she was saying and why she came to this conclusion, every single pediatrician within an hour and a half driving distance of us refused to take my daughter on as a patient unless we agreed to catch her up on all of the “recommended” vaccines at an escalated pace. Several of the doctors actually apologized, and felt very bad about what was happening, but their insurance companies are setting the rules of who they can and cannot have as a patient, and one of those rules includes that they must have every single CDC “recommended“ vaccine. She’s getting ready to turn three soon, and we finally found a family doctor who’s willing to take her as a patient and give her one vaccine at a time until she is has all of the necessary ones- this list is drastically shorter than the “recommended” list; FYI Everyone should do what they feel is absolutely best for their children, but it is amazing how much control these people have over our lives right now. I’ve spent the last 2 1/2 years desperately anxious that if she got sick I would lose my daughter to some sort of medical kidnapping. Luckily, she’s been healthy as a horse and slowly putting on weight-she’s very close to what a normal three year old should weigh now. I just don’t understand why a pediatrician would think that it is better that my daughter doesn’t have any medical care simply because we asked to wait.
He stops looking back and forth for the countdown. He's definitely excited for it. It is amazing how Chris is able to connect with people so easily, wow
@@Concorde1059 Chris has a Master's Degree in Special Ed, and a Bachelor's in communication. He was also a S.E. teacher for a few years. This is his gift and calling, and he loves what he does. He made a video about it, and about trying to balance his life too. He is married and they're a good-looking pair.
Tres is absolutely in there ❤ he has very clear moments where he is fixated , listening, and reacting with chris . Makes me emotional. God bless him and ma 🙏 . - all of you.
When she said “a disabled person cannot have more than $2000 in assets at a time- whether it’s incoming money or money held- I was shocked! All I heard was “we (the govt) don’t want disabled people accumulating wealth” That’s absolutely sick that a disabled person isn’t allowed to save their freaking money like the rest of us out of fear they will lose all of their income and/or insurance and/or other medical services. This country just gets better and better! But yeah, “‘Merica- home of the free” am I right?! 🤦♀️
Yes, the able a counts are a way around that, but not to the same extend of the average person. It really is a catch 22. Now you know why some people on disability do not work - not only would they lose their disability payment but their insurance as well. There are other programs based off having that insurance, so they could potentially lose those as well.
*Cannabis isn't the issue here. It's the right to take care of one's own child without the government [of The People] being the main obstacle in caring for the child.*
The treatment that Tres and Brandy have endured is appalling. I am disabled and understand the ignorance and lack of empathy, but certainly never to the extent that they have suffered. It's heartbreaking.
I'm disabled myself as well and it gets so bad to the point where when people look at me I just think that people are judging me because of the way I look the way I walk and the way I talk it's really upsetting and I think that people need to know and wake up and just know that we're not happy that people say these things about us just because we're different doesn't mean we are born into the world dumb and stupid were born into the world to do things our way in a different way like you think we can't do nothing OH! we can do something alright!
@DisabledArtist99999 Exactly! It's frustrating when people think your autism or whatever disability you have hinders you cognitively even though you keep reminding them that it doesn't. Some of us may also communicate with our phone or tablet due to Selective Mutism/social anxiety.
As someone on the spectrum and with OCD, I have trouble with interacting with other people and it makes getting my basic needs met very hard. If it wasnt for my parents in the field I wouldnt ve getting the care I am
had I seen you guys out some place I would not have ever thought you caused your sons disability. never ever. you have a blessing in your son. God will take care of those thoughtless people who makes rude comments. God bless you.
She wasn’t even an addict and she got treated this horribly. And actual addicts also deserve help instead of hatred. This is one of the rawest videos on this channel, because it immediately jumps to the truth of the problem. The hatred to the disabled. No money allowed despite needing more than healthy people, and the endless assumptions that health is a choice.
@@nattie911 health is a choice, even in absolute bad health, you still choose to do the right things or the wrong things. Life is unfair, unjust and un even, stop crying and grow up
@@jamie5092 it is. You may not be able to choose the starting point, but once you are alive and learn about the ailments, it's up tp you and only you to deal with it, a.k.a. a choice
A lot of people in these comments are talking about how they can't believe that she was accused of doing drugs, etc. But nobody is mentioning that even if that WERE the case, neither she nor her son deserve the mistreatment and dismissal they received.
@@jillbravo5252 yes! I understand the doctors being concerned insofar as they're mandatory reporters and have to ensure that child child will be going to a safe home, but even that can be done with kindness. Most who battle addiction are using it to fight harder battles (trauma, poverty, etc), and they deserve as much kindness as anyone else who is struggling.
Let that sink in folks, she and her son are medical refugees in the United States. This is the true cost of healthcare. She’s had to make decisions none of us could make just to get medicine for her son. America is not great, not until it takes care of its most vulnerable populations.
There is better care available in the USA than anywhere else. Tres needs extensive care and that is going to be expensive. Of course it's unfortunate. But a person needing expensive care doesn't make the USA bad. Lazy argument.
@@pagejames8754 I'd not say that's lazy argument. I'm actually from Brazil and, despite having a lot of problems here I can safely say that the unified health system here (SUS) is life changing for all the population. I've heard stories of people living in the USA struggling really hard with diabetes and the insane cost of insulin, which is essential for them to survive. In Brazil all this medication is available freely of cost for the population. The USA has a lot of advantages and indeed have very advanced technology in health care, but I wouldn't dare live there and risk getting life debts simply for survival. I'm sorry in advance for possible bad English :3
Our friends have a son who has an intellectual disability and his Dad has been his full time paid carer for years. Not only that but the son receives money from the government for social support and he has a case worker who takes him out and he goes to an adult centre with other people with disabilities to enjoy friendship and activities. I'm thankful I live in Australia where people with disabilities receive dedicated care and their parents can be paid carers. It's not perfect here but I can't imagine how heartbreaking this situation is.
@@pagejames8754 Have you actually researched health care systems around the world? I'm in agreement with xochitllee24. Sure there are worse healthcare systems out there, but there are also far-superior systems as well! The bottom line is that ALL of our country should support the small community of families with severely disabled children in the way that Colorado is! I think we can afford to do it, considering how much excess is spent on the arms race in our nation, etc!!!
The disrespect the mother received from the hospital is unbelievable. People are so ignorant. The mother is so awesome, and I wish the best for them both.
As a parent of a child with a craniofacial abnormality... I feel her pain and frustration. But, it was my daughter who taught me to ignore the ignorance; and, to appreciate how blessed I am to be her mother ❤
Watching from Europe, I really wonder how the US healthcare system can be so bad. I'm not saying healthcare and insurance here are perfect by any means, but surely we can all agree that caregivers should get some financial help when caring for their children...
It’s terrible here in the US it’s all about money, big Pharma that’s all. They don’t want you using any alternatives because it’s not money going into their pocket and all the lobbyists have the politicians in their back pocket
Greed. That's the why US healthcare system is bad. Insurance companies pay lobbyists to get bills passed that allow them to strangle access in states and at a federal level.
@@angelbear_og??? You’re arguing against a wall, nobody said that US doctors are bad at their jobs lmfao. The system is objectively terrible and anyone with a working brain is able to realize that. Americans are such an embarrassment.
@@jasminerodriguez5001 Yes, of course he has two faces. It is because the egg in the womb did not fully separate so there actually were one and a partial embryo growing together. Have you not seen twins with two heads? In this case the heads did not fully separate giving the face two sides. If you have a better explanation for this phenomenon please let me know.
@@jasminerodriguez5001 How do you know? He probably has a deviated brain somewhat. In any case it doesn’t matter to him or his family what I think or what you think. It is just my opinion based on my observation. You are entitled to your own opinion. Do you have an explanation of why one would be born with two faces? Often times an undeveloped twin “part” is found inside a body, or one can be born with three legs. I believe it is evidence of an unviable twin in all these cases as well as a deviated face.
Her explanation is how EVERY family with a member with disabilities struggles. We live in Ohio and that 2000.00 is so irritating. This country is worried about what gender we are, when the world of the disabled live in poverty and that is totally overlooked. I agree with this mom 100%. My hope is that this video will start a fire of change. Tres and mom deserve that!
It’s all about control; Control gender, control reproduction, and by god keep those disabled people in a pen somewhere. They frame it as caring, caring for the kids, caring for integrity and religion, but that’s just not true. They care about control, not the human person.
I think more than one thing can be true at once. We live in a complex society that has several layers of problems. I believe we do not have to choose between making space for supporting and caring for both the trans and LGBT community AND the disabled community in the US.
OMG THAT WOMAN IS AN ANGEL! We love you Tres! Thank for being so brave and speaking out. The level of systematic dehumanization and disrespect they've been through is infuriating.
@tedway6162..... Oh, Yes......I agree with you wholeheartedly, and it's sooo refreshing, and Tres is a wonderful young man....soooo precious are he and his mom together......so neat & the most adorable pair....like best friends forever & very brave souls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!💓☺️💓Xoxo
if there were a God, her child would not have ended up like this. This is terrible. she is far better than i am, i would not have the fortitude to raise a child like this.
The way the interviewer treats the Mom and her son should be an example of how to be an example of how everyone should treat him and all who are unique and shame on those who disrespected the Mom and especially if they think they are Christian
What an incredibly strong, caring, lovely, and passionate mother that Tres is so incredibly lucky to have at his side. This is one of America's great shames. The lack of true social safety nets and the inability to access medical care by working class without being financially devastated is something that should outrage every other person in out nation. In virtually any other state, save a small handful, parents would be faced with giving up a special child like Tres because of the insurmountable burdens that are primarily financial, but also mental and social. In all this I am sure Brandy had no where to turn. No place to reach out to for counseling and support when she needed it the most because this isn't just an issue for Tres, it happens to entire families that are left with no options to get help in coping with the new lives suddenly thrust upon them. We should all be in awe of Brandy. She has obviously worked so very hard to beat the odds and keep her son in a loving and familiar environment with her, although it has cost her virtually everything. Few people would be able to make the same sacrifices, but the real issue is that Brandy shouldn't have had to make any of those sacrifices. She shouldn't have had to give up a thing. There are simply no excuses for the trials, tribulations, and hardships this family has had to endure. We have the ability to make sure families like theirs never have to suffer in these ways again, but without real change brought about through public outcry things will never change, as there is too great a financial incentive to maintain the status quo for those in the top 10% while the other 90% of us suffer and live day to day, paycheck to paycheck. The system is beyond broken.
Thank you, I am trying my hardest to help those who follow us, because That is why we were given these fights and these blessings.. It was never right, but I'll do whatever I can, while I can.❤
@@brandynicolejohnson It is really great to see you advocate. You have a truly powerful story that can change hearts and minds. Stay on that path of trying to help the next family that comes along. You and Tres in front of a State House or Senate Committee telling your story would probably go a very long way towards getting better legislation passed all over the country, one state at a time. I hope this video and enhanced visibility opens up a great deal of doors for you and Tres to make an even more massive difference.
Brandy, you are truly incredible. The hardships you have endured I cannot even begin to fathom. Tres is extremely lucky to have you fighting for him when so many others would have given up. Bless you and I hope that brighter days are on your horizon. Keep fighting the good fight, youre a different breed of human!@@brandynicolejohnson
No NHS due to fundamental capitalist greed that wants to turn every human experience into profit. Taking care of others collectively is one of the highest human achievements and this has been turned around into an evil thing and replaced with reverence for greed.
She is so compassionate, and it isn’t fair what they’ve been through, I’m disabled and medical marijuana lets me function. Good for her for doing what’s right for her kid
You’re a great mom and person! My older brother(B.1974)is considered mentally handicapped, he doesn’t read write or talk. My mom hasn’t worked most of her life to take care of him. I’m glad you’re in a paid position at least and found a medicine that helps!!! I hope it’s available more in other states over time.
As a pediatric nurse, I have witnessed first hand cannabis really works for seizure prevention. It’s sad that the providers in Tres and Brandy’s team refused to look further in cannabis treatment. Trust your gut parents. All medications, even approved pharmaceuticals have side effects. It’s a team effort and balance in determining which is best course of treatment.
In Pennsylvania we have the same problems, where family members can get paid to care for their disabled child. It should be national, and it just makes sense.
He does an impeccable job of meeting his interviewees right where they are, with no expectations beyond mirroring their abilities. Chris is a wonderful role model.
Thank you for sharing Brandy and Tres. This is such an important message. I was on anti-convulsant medications for years as a child and like Brandy said, I was still having petit mal seizures and they were making me nod off- it is so beautiful and brave that Brandy and Tres are speaking out and advocating for this, and thank you for using your platform for this
What this family has gone through is plainly discrimination. The ADA and law needs to be expanded and improved, one size does not fit all. I am grateful that people like Chris exist and are bringing these issues to the attention of the general public. I think most people can recognize that this mom is doing the best for her son and made the right choice for his care.
This story should be front page news. Institutions are never the first choice. Families should be able to stay together. Politics and big pharma run the world. Disgusting.
@@Yooperskepticz They were closed due to pretty appalling conditions. They were supposed to be replaced with community-based care such as group homes and the like, but the money was never allocated to do so.
@@tampabaybuccaneer10 some were appalling, yes, but not all. And as usual the Republicans didn't allocate money for what they claimed would be the alternative, right. But another factor that didn't seem to be considered is that residents objected to some community houses being in their neighborhood. Not really for physical disabilities, but for mental illness definitely.
@@Yooperskepticz Can you name a specific one that wasn't appalling? If you can, please share the name of the place that existed so we can verify (search & research) their history of patient & family members experience in such an institution.
I can’t ever imagine blaming a mother for a disability their child has, has it happened, yes, but to assume that or accuse that without complete accurate knowledge of the mothers life, is Ignorant and extremely unhelpful. I’m so sorry any mom has to go through that kind of judgment. I have a son with a severe stutter whose 14 and I still think back all the time beating myself up, wondering if it was something I did, but of course it wasn’t my fault. No one will question a mother more than she will question herself. Be kind, it goes along way.
Especially from the medical staff. There are SIGNIFICANTLY more considerate ways to pursue the necessary testing. The NICU could have had the maternity ward request that testing prior to her being released, for one, so that when she finally could leave, she could just go see her child. Kindness costs nothing.
Excellent advice! Unfortunately, there seem to be a lot of people who don't believe in unconditional kindness - and who blame mothers (not, apparently, fathers) for children's disabilities. My son is autistic; I've not heard anyone accuse me of taking drugs during my pregnancy (which I didn't do) - but there are people who assume (and directly say) that he's 'spoiled rotten' or that I 'need to smack him' - sometimes just because he can't stand still or speak concisely when trying to ask questions (though the latter could be because he also can't modulate the volume or tone of his voice).
What a wonderfully kind mother! It's really good to see that she and Tres are still doing well. I hope she's able to find the support they both deserve! Cannabis therapy shouldn't receive so much stigma, it's enough to make you cry hearing a child could experience seizures constantly, especially knowing there's something that could help that people would outlaw. Hope Tres lives a long full life. such a unique person deserves to have their story told, not swept under a rug.
I'm quite literally sobbing rn. I love her and tres so very much. This is what inspires me to one day possibly take care of people with disabilities in very tough situations like hers. The government owes her more than she realizes. Maybe not legally, but ethically and morally. I'll never understand how you can look at someone like tres and see him as a waste of life. He's a human being, disabled or not. I wish this family truly the best
Tres's mother has been through a lot. She cares for her son, and she stands up to get him what he needs. She is one of the greatest mothers I have heard of. She deserves way more respect and love for what she has done.
I admire Chris Ulmer so much! The empathy and compassion he expresses toward disabled folks is a rarity; we need more people like him. I also admire the mother for the love she provides to her son and her resilience, as well as Tres's resilience and beautiful soul.
This family deserves respect! Tres is a miracle! He is definitely loved and enjoying life. Tres is also helping so many other children with his life story. Just the effectiveness of his the choice of seizure medications. He’s literally writing the book of surviving with this rare mutation. I don’t know about anyone else, but I seem to see how beautiful Tres’ soul is and forget about his condition. That’s the magic of this channel. ❤
The vilification of cannabis is ludicrous. I hope other states will make parental caregiving an option like Colorado does, and I hope that Brandy and Tres can be reunited with their family soon.
I believe Oregon does too. In all honesty if she lived here in CA, I'd grow it for her alongside my own. The fact Dr's won't touch him of it shows up in his blood. If cannabis is the only med needed. She needs to reach out to growers, I know folks that will priority ship it to her anywhere in the US any oroduct and ratio blend of thc and cannabinoids. He needs a solid 1 to 1 ratio strain and another thc rich plant loaded in the cbn and cbg category for a solid entourage effect that combats epilepsy and seizure bound users. She desperately needs to reach out find a private grower in the US, it's not hard in Colorado. God I wish I could sit her down and introduce her to a few friends out there that'd do that or here in Cali. She needs to know we do that stuff constantly I've never messed up over 200 orders that priority shipped fine. As well know the THCa loophole and familiarized with legal alternative cannabinoids that flare the same receptors. If she's willing to care for him she should be paid like a nurse, stay home, and use the least harmful most beneficial med available without being treated like a criminal. Ludicrous and I pray that they one day change the caregiving laws. I'm a registered caregiver and have seen families run into similar situations here but because the income amount, just candles out care by parents that would do best for their child but can't and it's a shitty system. I should know work for IHSS.
Forcing it on somebody who can not mentally refuse it is a crime. Oh i give him it because he has 200-300 seizures a day is not an excuse. This poor man has never had a chance at a life and clearly cant even function on his own. He is in constant pain and will only know how painful his life is.
Brandy, your son Tres is beautiful, with a lovely spirit to match yours! Thank you for fighting so hard to make a space for him. In doing so, you make space for so many others who need it as well. Building a better world, a future that's worth living in. Sending you love and strength, and I'm glad that y'all have found a safe haven. 🫂
Good old USA, where pharmaceutical companies only care about profits and couldn't care less about human beings. Makes me so sick and angry. Thank goodness for Tres' awesome Mom and how hard she will fight for him. What a lovely family 🫶🙂
My son has epilepsy and cannabis is the only thing that prevents his seizures. On medications he was still having seizures. The side effects of the medicine was horrible. So I understand what your going through. Luckily NJ has made cannabis legal. But it's still not federally approved.
That is great to hear. I'm sad to live in a country where cannabis is treated like heroin.. I use it myself and I know it would help some of my family members but they all have been taught that it's bad for you.
@@tufab3494 Sweden. Our drug laws are so behind.. Even alcohol is controlled by the gov. When I went to school our textbooks said how cannabis can make you snap and kill your friend randomly lol
When Tres was seizing and started crying my heart broke because I have epilepsy and I know that having seizures is tremendously frightening even as a neurotypical adult.
Tres truly is best off with his mother, she goes to bat for him and doesn't back down in the face of idiots. Why anyone would think an institution is better for him is beyond me.
I work for an independent living program for adults with intellectual disabilities. We discovered a loophole in saving money through what is called an ABLE Savings Account. In Massachusetts we too have the ridiculous law that those with disabilities cannot have more than $2000 in their traditional bank accounts because their benefits will be at risk. Fortunately, there are conversations on a legislative level that is working to raise that 🙌
@@evelien1352000 barely covers mortgage and utilities for each month in most places. You must think the disabled are abusing the crappy system and you are part of the problem
Chris...I am an Ordained Minister who served for many years as a Nursing Home Chaplain. However.....I had to stop, because the nursing homes here in the USA are nothing more than warehouses for humans. When I was in Atwood, Kansas, I pushed back on the horrible way the local hospital and nursing homes were working together to keep elderly people in them, and overmedicated as well. My reward? The State of Kansas used their power, along with law enforcement, and tried to have me jailed for exposing the corruption!!!
It is both a curse and a blessing that information can now spread like wildfire via the internet. Misinformation spreads just like the actual news. But in the end, secrets of corruption become less and less a secret. People like you really help, thank you for doing what is right. I am sorry you had to go through so many losses for it. But never stop talking about it. ❤
This channel has changed my life. I started watching your channel several years ago. Since starting to watch your channel, I have been proactive about talking to people, especially children, with different abilities. I try to speak directly with the child, even if they are nonverbal. I don’t speak about them like they are 3rd party to a conversation about them. Last week I went to meet the teacher with my 13 year old daughter, and there was a little baby who had a different ability. It was so heartwarming because the mother let me talk to the baby and the baby lifted his little foot up for me to rub. ❤ Thank you for promoting interactions amongst all people with different gifts and talents.
I am native and a teen mom and I relate to that mom and thr NICU people being judgemental at times. I had a hard labour and required tons more narcotics than we expected. Then when my daughter was born with some breathing issues (due to my mothers second hand smoke) they took her urine to do drug testing without telling me. Can you bet which drugs were positive? The ones THE SAME hospital gave me during labour. They asked me these horrible questions and showed me the positives were literally ONLY the medications given to me 24 hours before for my labour. Once THEY confirmed with THEIR own hospital staff they stopped being rude and mean?! I was like….how do they treat actual addicts then?! Absolutely insane. She sounds like a wonderful mom and person and I hope her and Tres are doing well ❤
Never has a video filled me with so much respect and indignation simultaneously. Like, these institutions couldn’t be more villainous if they tried. This mom is amazing. That’s what unconditional love looks like.
Brandy, you are incredible! Tres, you are a blessing. For those in the comments who feel his life has no meaning, shame on you! You do not value human life as precious and a gift from God! Praying for the two of you. Know that there are people like me who feel inspired by your story! God Bless you!
I really adore learning with these videos. They really changed my perspective about certain disabilities. I also love how much the parents know about their children's conditions; it shows how involved in their lives they are and how much they love them. Lots of love to this family and kudos to the mother for enduring so much medical negligence and still provide her son a good life.
❤All 4 of us in our family are Autistic & my youngest has a rare CHD. Too all the mamas & papas out there...never give up your children love you more than you know & even though it's complicated & hard know you're loved. I feel nothing but pity for those who judge this sweet boy/family I hope they change their hearts.
I am full of admiration for the love and care you have for your family. You are doing exactly what is right - what is wrong is that you are forced into such a desperate situation. Bless you both and the rest of your family. Jinny - UK
When you asked if he thought throwing 3 of the toys was a good idea he looked at you like. You madman let's do it. 😂 Love you guys, so glad you got to do an update. Give that lil man a big hug for me. 🖤
Bless these two… Tres’s mum is a strong woman especially for going through all those hurtful things people have said to her… I’m sure he will live to be a happy man
thank you so much for bringing attention to the issues talked about in this episode and the way the us treats disabled people and their caregivers. its so important to talk about it and raise awareness so things can change.
I’m in Canada. What this Mom says is so true! Even here with single payer health care. A friend of mine had a son with serious mental health issues - from the time he was a baby. They tried to get help. Finally when he was in his teens she had to give him up because they couldn’t live with him (he was seriously hurting people including a younger sibling) and the children’s mental health system did nothing but blame the family. It’s a terrible thing to put parents through this! And the children have every right to be with their families and to be part of their community. People with disabilities enrich our society by allowing us to see things from a different perspective.
Chris, there is no one in this world like you, my man. You connect & respect like no other, & you truly are my hero. So is this incredible, beautiful soul of a mother!!! What grace. If only we could replace society leaders' counsel with people like you guys
I’m actually a union representative for the job that this wonderful mother does. I’m actually in California where we also have a program like this in home support services. On a daily basis I have parents family people in the community. Trying to keep this program alive because like she said they want us to put them in institutions, so thankfully, in the state of California, the union that represents them is called united domestic workers, thanks to our union members. We have been able to keep the program for so many years and through so many attempts to cut the budget, I hope in her state they have a similar union because we believe that this program should exist in every state
I am very sceptical of unions usually, but this is one case where I think it does make good sense. Thank you for your work and best of luck. I hope that this can be put in place in every state.
I am so grateful to you. I’m applying to be my son’s caregiver. He is nonverbal and has autism. He’s 3 and was born at 33wks. He had a brain bleed, hole in his heart and was in the NICU for 31 days. I’m fighting hard to even get IHSS because my baby is only 3. He needs total care.
@@nikkibb1998 Contact your local union office. See who repersents IHSS in your county. It will either United domestic workers, which is the one i work at or it will be SEIU. I wish i could pm you to help more but there's no where i can
When Tres was crying from having a seizure, i started crying, too. i can’t imagine having 300-400 seizures a day or being Mom having to see him go through the pain. People can be so cruel, especially so-called “experts.” Sending much love, happiness, and peace to your family 💗
From age 10-18 I took care of children similar to Tres and some much more handicapped (as volunteer from 10-14 then as an employee age 15-18). Never once did it occur to me that the mothers had caused their challenges. This was in the 70s. I worked with dozens over those years. Most were congenital and just a few happened after birth from a heart attack, rat poison, or seizure. It seems bizarre that in this age of easy quick access to information, anyone could be so ignorant still to assume the mother is at fault.
I definitely agree that blaming the mothers is not something that should ever be assumed as sometimes abnormalities are just random, and other times the mothers did not know they were exposing their fetus to something that could cause this. However, there are some druggies out there who do deserve blame. But like I said, it should never just be assumed that this is the cause. When it comes to hospitals ordering medical histories and drug tests etc, that isn't blame, that is due diligence. The cause of the abnormality needs to be identified for the sake of furthering medical science on the matter. For example, what if a bunch of other women in her area also started having similar severe abnormalities in their offspring? They would need to have on record that all these cases were not otherwise explained by known substances, so that the environmental factor can be identified and dealt with to prevent more tragedies like this.
I am special guardian for my Granddaughter who has Autism and FAS…. I remember once taking her shopping with me and a man about 70 said to his wife as loud as u like “look at it, if it was a dog you wouldn’t take it out on a lead…” I won’t tell u what I said but i cert approached him on it.there by the grace of god go is all.
Thats so sad. God bless you and your granddaughter. There is a special place for people like that and its such a shame. Love overcomes all. How miserable a person like that must be to think that about anyone, let alone a child
That old man will face God one day. If he still alive. I’m sorry if someone said that to you. I had polio from the vaccine when I was a baby and people could be cruel and I just walked funny.
Tres and Brandy, you are both amazing people. Tres, you are such a happy beautiful young boy!! And Brandy, you are so so strong. I hope only good things will come your way. Sending you warm hugs from the other side of the world!!! ❤❤❤
what a beautiful, inspiring woman. her son is obviously so loved. its her love that has kept him living longer than doctors expected. i really dont understand why she's faced so much discrimination. its really just aweful. i want to give her a big hug. both of them actually
People keep claiming that she took drugs and other unhealthy habits while she was pregnant with Tres like what she literally said in her story. Come to think of it I hadn't found anything from her mouth denying their claims... she really was?
I love you Chris! I love you Alyssa! Thank you for your amazing work, I’m a huge fan of SBSK and I’m so grateful for all your videos! Hugs and kisses from Poland 🇵🇱
I'm sending my love to the mother 💓 she was treated badly after the child's birth. I can tell it broke her heart. It takes a strong woman to persevere and continue forward amidst all the judgment that they're giving her. She is a wonderful mother! I'm so sorry for The way you've been judged and treated ❤
What an amazing example of a mother's love for her children. This is one of the most emotional sbsk videos I've seen. People have to put up with so much and get treated so badly. It's heartbreaking.
Inside I feel a fire and anger knowing that this has happened to this mom let alone many others out there. The world can be such a shitty place. This is why Chris's work is so important. 👊🧡👍
You know, being born with some impairments and disabilities, to being told that doctors asked my parents that they wanted to use me as an lab rat rather then to be given a chance to living a life, I completely understand what Tres’ mother means with wanting equality, love and respect for her son. For him to be treated with care because he is, in fact, another human being in this world (however, he has a special light in him). Shame on all of those “doctors” who gave up on Tres. Absolute shame. Seeing Tres being happy throughout the video was truly a blessing.😭❤
I’m so taken aback by this story of this lovely woman and her son. Brought me to tears hearing about the inequality and disrespect that they have been shown. I think it’s ironic in the fact that Tres is one special and unique young man yet people in power turn a blind eye. Why is the world like this? I’m so touched by this story. I really honestly hope they get to be with their family very soon. And hooray for Cannabis, it’s helping so many lead a more fulfilling life 💕 Thank you for sharing this as usual 🙂🩷🥰
I loved Tres's story the first time we got to meet him and his beautiful Mom! She is such an amazing Mom! Please let her know that your followers care about her and Tres!God bless her!
Your son is absolutely adorable! Sorry you went through SO much when he was born, but it happens at times, right before we receive a huge blessing, as you did, your son. I would throw those stuff animals all day with him to capture that smile. Continual blessings to you and your family.
Cannabis is one of the only things that helps my pain. It only just became legal for medical reasons in the uk fairly recently. It's been a fight for me, so I can empathise with Tres' mom. Tres, you are an amazing person! I love your smile, its infectious! :D
In Brazil we are finally seeing flowers get legalized for medical uses (oils and stuff are allowed since 2017 or so). We are currently buying them from the US (both CBD and THCa flowers) but I hope we can grow it here soon
As a former group home manager I can sadly confirm that many people make the hateful assumption that physical and developmental irregularities are mostly caused by the mother, smoking cigarettes, using drugs or otherwise not being a health nut and staying in bed for 9 months. I have Marfan Syndrome. I was born with bone deformities. These things happen on a regular basis. All kids really need is love and support. Who cares if they’re not all the same ??You’re a wonderful Mom and your Son is beautiful 💖💖💖
Keep up the good work!! ❤❤
>>people make the hateful assumption
Beginning with the medical establishment.
I know about Marfan syndrome sadly because Osama Bin Laden had Marfan syndrome and I was watching a show with an intelligence agent talk about it and how sick it made Bin Laden. He needed dialysis etc.
@@c-LAW Don’t even get me started. I fought their useless bureaucracy to the point I had bleeding ulcers. I made myself sick trying to keep my clients healthy.
@@Lunchladydoyle I wish I had a solution, other a different jurisdiction (i hate that word) in which to live.
I can't believe the disrespect the mother is getting shown. Especially by medical professionals. The ignorance is staggering but not surprising.
💯 agree! Why does the world have to be such a shitty place to such wonderful people in need of hope and care, I will never understand! 👊🤬👍
Doctors are brainwashed by big pharma. Big pharma operate the schools of medicine.
The treatment was disrespectful and jumping to conclusions. Even if there are some mandatory tests in cases like this, they should never assume anything beforehand. It would be reprehensible to treat that anybody like that, even an actual "crack head." Sounds unprofessional and inhumane.
i cant believe she was accused of doing drugs pregnant
I am a pregnant recovering drug addict who is currently on methadone. I’m shown medical discrimination all the time based on me simply having SUD (substance use disorder). Add in the methadone, and it gets even worse. And then on top of that, now I’m pregnant. And even tho it’s MORE dangerous for me to even attempt to taper off methadone while pregnant, I’m still judged by regular people and some medical providers even. And it’s sad to say bc i shouldn’t have to learn to expect this behavior or deal with it, but I do. Bc of my history. And I understand many people are blessed to not have to understand the horrors of addiction. But see? Stigma like this doesn’t ONLY affect current or former drug users/abusers. It affects “regular” people too. All the more reason to stop looking at drug abuse as a moral failing and instead look at it as a treatable disease. Bc that’s what it is.
(I had this as a stand alone comment also, but it seemed extremely fitting as a reply to your comment so I copied and pasted)
My second child was born 15 weeks premature. This exact thing happened to me. Drug tested, zero drugs in my system, and they still harassed me for the entire 3 months we were in NICU. This mom is absolutely awesome.
💪🏼❤🫂
Gayest Comment Award 🌈
@@Makeachange...huh?
people of all walks of life can be so rude. hey just feel sorry for those ignorant people. they must be unhappy campers to push their rudeness off on the innocent. God bless you.
@@Anonymous-lq2bswhat is wrong with you?
I cannot fathom the pure agony this mother has faced, and despite all of that, she is absolutely wonderful and pure.
Gayest Comment Award 🌈
@@Anonymous-lq2bs you mean yours? 😂
Amen
@@Anonymous-lq2bsbitch whattt??
She is a great mum❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
"I don't want pity. I want respect." This mother is a fighter for her son. I pray they're able to live together ❤️ as a family soon. It's heartbreaking 💔 that policies are separating them.
This is heartbreaking. Strong wonderful lady and mother. A shitty system that is crippling her. Shame on you America.
They just don’t care and it is too late for her family as far as her hubby and other sons! They are divorced and the other sons are grown. Shame on the government!
exactly
Exactly, homes are being broken bc of the stress.❤
Tres definitely knows and anticipates when Chris says "3, 2, 1..." when throwing a toy and really seems to enjoy it. It's amazing how well the cannabis helps Tres. It's criminal that doctors would refuse to treat him because he takes it and it works. Bless Tres and his loving, caring mother.
My daughter was born at a severely low birth weight, no fault of my own, she just is different. But because she was so so small, I wanted to wait until she was older and had more body mass before her father and I consented to give her vaccines. This was actually at the advice of my stepmother, who was a registered nurse specializing in pediatric care for over 45 years. It’s not just some thing I came up with on my own thanks to TH-cam 🤦🏽♀️
…and despite my stepmother coming to each appointment and explaining her reasoning, backed up with medical documentation to prove what she was saying and why she came to this conclusion, every single pediatrician within an hour and a half driving distance of us refused to take my daughter on as a patient unless we agreed to catch her up on all of the “recommended” vaccines at an escalated pace.
Several of the doctors actually apologized, and felt very bad about what was happening, but their insurance companies are setting the rules of who they can and cannot have as a patient, and one of those rules includes that they must have every single CDC “recommended“ vaccine.
She’s getting ready to turn three soon, and we finally found a family doctor who’s willing to take her as a patient and give her one vaccine at a time until she is has all of the necessary ones- this list is drastically shorter than the “recommended” list; FYI
Everyone should do what they feel is absolutely best for their children, but it is amazing how much control these people have over our lives right now. I’ve spent the last 2 1/2 years desperately anxious that if she got sick I would lose my daughter to some sort of medical kidnapping. Luckily, she’s been healthy as a horse and slowly putting on weight-she’s very close to what a normal three year old should weigh now. I just don’t understand why a pediatrician would think that it is better that my daughter doesn’t have any medical care simply because we asked to wait.
He stops looking back and forth for the countdown. He's definitely excited for it. It is amazing how Chris is able to connect with people so easily, wow
@chilltarts Your daughter has a strong mother. I applaud you for standing your ground as an advocate for your baby.
@@Concorde1059 Chris has a Master's Degree in Special Ed, and a Bachelor's in communication. He was also a S.E. teacher for a few years. This is his gift and calling, and he loves what he does. He made a video about it, and about trying to balance his life too. He is married and they're a good-looking pair.
Tres is absolutely in there ❤ he has very clear moments where he is fixated , listening, and reacting with chris . Makes me emotional. God bless him and ma 🙏 . - all of you.
When she said “a disabled person cannot have more than $2000 in assets at a time- whether it’s incoming money or money held- I was shocked! All I heard was “we (the govt) don’t want disabled people accumulating wealth” That’s absolutely sick that a disabled person isn’t allowed to save their freaking money like the rest of us out of fear they will lose all of their income and/or insurance and/or other medical services. This country just gets better and better! But yeah, “‘Merica- home of the free” am I right?! 🤦♀️
it gets worse than that, they go off your partners income too. For instance, if I married my partner of nearly a decade I'd lose my disability.
529ABLE accounts are a way around that
Yes, the able a counts are a way around that, but not to the same extend of the average person. It really is a catch 22. Now you know why some people on disability do not work - not only would they lose their disability payment but their insurance as well. There are other programs based off having that insurance, so they could potentially lose those as well.
tell me about it. I am disabled and have been struggling so much to make ends meet.
@@d.k.4899Exactly, and I'm guessing that's why the lady in the video said she isn't married anymore. It's so heartbreaking
Sending this mother and son so much love and support. What a beautiful example of a mother’s love.
I am a retired nurse, and i applaud this mother. I am a cannabis advocate. My daughter has her medical card. God bless you and Tres.
They need to deschedule cannabis
How old 🗝️ is your daughter and how did you go about getting the card
@@fatonyalmitchell3281 she is 33. And she applied for her card online
*Cannabis isn't the issue here. It's the right to take care of one's own child without the government [of The People] being the main obstacle in caring for the child.*
But it also can trigger schizophrenia dear
Absolutely terrible how the mom was treated by the so called medical professionals and “the system”. What a great mom. What a lovable guy.
It makes sad when they get treated. Women like tres mum are beautiful
What an incredible mom. You can see the overflowing love she has for Tres. You are a fighter, Brandy!
The treatment that Tres and Brandy have endured is appalling. I am disabled and understand the ignorance and lack of empathy, but certainly never to the extent that they have suffered. It's heartbreaking.
I'm disabled myself as well and it gets so bad to the point where when people look at me I just think that people are judging me because of the way I look the way I walk and the way I talk it's really upsetting and I think that people need to know and wake up and just know that we're not happy that people say these things about us just because we're different doesn't mean we are born into the world dumb and stupid were born into the world to do things our way in a different way like you think we can't do nothing OH! we can do something alright!
@@KPAproductionStudios1970❤
@DisabledArtist99999 Exactly! It's frustrating when people think your autism or whatever disability you have hinders you cognitively even though you keep reminding them that it doesn't. Some of us may also communicate with our phone or tablet due to Selective Mutism/social anxiety.
It is
As someone on the spectrum and with OCD, I have trouble with interacting with other people and it makes getting my basic needs met very hard. If it wasnt for my parents in the field I wouldnt ve getting the care I am
Society is judged by how we care for those who need us the most. This mother said it best: “Everybody deserves a place in this world”. Much love 💕🐝💕
❤❤❤
had I seen you guys out some place I would not have ever thought you caused your sons disability. never ever. you have a blessing in your son. God will take care of those thoughtless people who makes rude comments. God bless you.
She wasn’t even an addict and she got treated this horribly.
And actual addicts also deserve help instead of hatred.
This is one of the rawest videos on this channel, because it immediately jumps to the truth of the problem. The hatred to the disabled. No money allowed despite needing more than healthy people, and the endless assumptions that health is a choice.
Oh no…
Ugh the "Heath is a choice" peope. If only it were that easy for everyone
@@nattie911 health is a choice, even in absolute bad health, you still choose to do the right things or the wrong things. Life is unfair, unjust and un even, stop crying and grow up
that's a rly good way to put it, assumptions that health is a choice!!
@@jamie5092 it is. You may not be able to choose the starting point, but once you are alive and learn about the ailments, it's up tp you and only you to deal with it, a.k.a. a choice
A lot of people in these comments are talking about how they can't believe that she was accused of doing drugs, etc. But nobody is mentioning that even if that WERE the case, neither she nor her son deserve the mistreatment and dismissal they received.
I have the same thought!
Absolutely! What does it matter? He’s a person who deserves to be treated LIKE A PERSON, regardless of how his disability happened.
@@jillbravo5252 yes! I understand the doctors being concerned insofar as they're mandatory reporters and have to ensure that child child will be going to a safe home, but even that can be done with kindness. Most who battle addiction are using it to fight harder battles (trauma, poverty, etc), and they deserve as much kindness as anyone else who is struggling.
True !!
Love that you said this!
Poor little guy😢 but at least he has an angel his side. His mother has an amazingly wonderful soul!
God doesn’t make any mistakes Tres is a gift from God and I am glad to see him and you again. ❤
@@clairebear1808 Sorry not sorry but i can’t accept that statement.
I've had conversations with his mother before and she is by far one of the most loving and understanding humans. She's amazing and so kind
Let that sink in folks, she and her son are medical refugees in the United States. This is the true cost of healthcare. She’s had to make decisions none of us could make just to get medicine for her son. America is not great, not until it takes care of its most vulnerable populations.
There is better care available in the USA than anywhere else. Tres needs extensive care and that is going to be expensive. Of course it's unfortunate. But a person needing expensive care doesn't make the USA bad. Lazy argument.
@@pagejames8754 I'd not say that's lazy argument. I'm actually from Brazil and, despite having a lot of problems here I can safely say that the unified health system here (SUS) is life changing for all the population. I've heard stories of people living in the USA struggling really hard with diabetes and the insane cost of insulin, which is essential for them to survive. In Brazil all this medication is available freely of cost for the population. The USA has a lot of advantages and indeed have very advanced technology in health care, but I wouldn't dare live there and risk getting life debts simply for survival. I'm sorry in advance for possible bad English :3
There is actually better Healthcare in other countries. America is far from the "best".
Our friends have a son who has an intellectual disability and his Dad has been his full time paid carer for years. Not only that but the son receives money from the government for social support and he has a case worker who takes him out and he goes to an adult centre with other people with disabilities to enjoy friendship and activities. I'm thankful I live in Australia where people with disabilities receive dedicated care and their parents can be paid carers. It's not perfect here but I can't imagine how heartbreaking this situation is.
@@pagejames8754 Have you actually researched health care systems around the world? I'm in agreement with xochitllee24. Sure there are worse healthcare systems out there, but there are also far-superior systems as well! The bottom line is that ALL of our country should support the small community of families with severely disabled children in the way that Colorado is! I think we can afford to do it, considering how much excess is spent on the arms race in our nation, etc!!!
The disrespect the mother received from the hospital is unbelievable. People are so ignorant. The mother is so awesome, and I wish the best for them both.
How can hospital workers be so ignorant? It's unbelievable..
As a parent of a child with a craniofacial abnormality... I feel her pain and frustration. But, it was my daughter who taught me to ignore the ignorance; and, to appreciate how blessed I am to be her mother ❤
YES, YES, YES!! It is through grace and not anger that we can change things❤❤❤❤❤
❤
God bless you mommy.
Watching from Europe, I really wonder how the US healthcare system can be so bad. I'm not saying healthcare and insurance here are perfect by any means, but surely we can all agree that caregivers should get some financial help when caring for their children...
There's very few civilized countries with a healthcare system as broken as America.
It’s terrible here in the US it’s all about money, big Pharma that’s all. They don’t want you using any alternatives because it’s not money going into their pocket and all the lobbyists have the politicians in their back pocket
Greed. That's the why US healthcare system is bad. Insurance companies pay lobbyists to get bills passed that allow them to strangle access in states and at a federal level.
So bad that people come from around the world to get procedures done here instead of in their home country. 🙄
@@angelbear_og??? You’re arguing against a wall, nobody said that US doctors are bad at their jobs lmfao. The system is objectively terrible and anyone with a working brain is able to realize that. Americans are such an embarrassment.
Fascinating story about being a conjoined twin. His mother is an absolute angel. He is a lucky boy to have such a dedicated and loving mother.
He isn’t conjoined he literally has two faces
@@jasminerodriguez5001 Yes, of course he has two faces. It is because the egg in the womb did not fully separate so there actually were one and a partial embryo growing together. Have you not seen twins with two heads? In this case the heads did not fully separate giving the face two sides. If you have a better explanation for this phenomenon please let me know.
@@loiseilers5058 it’s not two people in one
@@jasminerodriguez5001 How do you know? He probably has a deviated brain somewhat. In any case it doesn’t matter to him or his family what I think or what you think. It is just my opinion based on my observation. You are entitled to your own opinion. Do you have an explanation of why one would be born with two faces? Often times an undeveloped twin “part” is found inside a body, or one can be born with three legs. I believe it is evidence of an unviable twin in all these cases as well as a deviated face.
@@loiseilers5058 is this an argument or something
Her explanation is how EVERY family with a member with disabilities struggles. We live in Ohio and that 2000.00 is so irritating. This country is worried about what gender we are, when the world of the disabled live in poverty and that is totally overlooked. I agree with this mom 100%. My hope is that this video will start a fire of change. Tres and mom deserve that!
It’s all about control;
Control gender, control reproduction, and by god keep those disabled people in a pen somewhere.
They frame it as caring, caring for the kids, caring for integrity and religion, but that’s just not true. They care about control, not the human person.
yeah they have created imaginary scapegoats and have been attacking gay and trans people, only to make everyone forget about the real problems...
I think more than one thing can be true at once. We live in a complex society that has several layers of problems. I believe we do not have to choose between making space for supporting and caring for both the trans and LGBT community AND the disabled community in the US.
@@julezthealien2467yes totally agree! I think we should fight for both
and disabled ppl on their own
OMG THAT WOMAN IS AN ANGEL! We love you Tres! Thank for being so brave and speaking out. The level of systematic dehumanization and disrespect they've been through is infuriating.
God bless Tres' mother. She is the most humble, soft-spoken, wise, and kind person I have "met" in a long time.
💚💚💚
@tedway6162..... Oh, Yes......I agree with you wholeheartedly, and it's sooo refreshing, and Tres is a wonderful young man....soooo precious are he and his mom together......so neat & the most adorable pair....like best friends forever & very brave souls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!💓☺️💓Xoxo
she seems so youthful with all the stress of a disabled child. god bless her
@@KrystalHarwood-dz2xkGod
if there were a God, her child would not have ended up like this. This is terrible. she is far better than i am, i would not have the fortitude to raise a child like this.
The way the interviewer treats the Mom and her son should be an example of how to be an example of how everyone should treat him and all who are unique and shame on those who disrespected the Mom and especially if they think they are Christian
What an incredibly strong, caring, lovely, and passionate mother that Tres is so incredibly lucky to have at his side. This is one of America's great shames. The lack of true social safety nets and the inability to access medical care by working class without being financially devastated is something that should outrage every other person in out nation. In virtually any other state, save a small handful, parents would be faced with giving up a special child like Tres because of the insurmountable burdens that are primarily financial, but also mental and social. In all this I am sure Brandy had no where to turn. No place to reach out to for counseling and support when she needed it the most because this isn't just an issue for Tres, it happens to entire families that are left with no options to get help in coping with the new lives suddenly thrust upon them.
We should all be in awe of Brandy. She has obviously worked so very hard to beat the odds and keep her son in a loving and familiar environment with her, although it has cost her virtually everything. Few people would be able to make the same sacrifices, but the real issue is that Brandy shouldn't have had to make any of those sacrifices. She shouldn't have had to give up a thing. There are simply no excuses for the trials, tribulations, and hardships this family has had to endure. We have the ability to make sure families like theirs never have to suffer in these ways again, but without real change brought about through public outcry things will never change, as there is too great a financial incentive to maintain the status quo for those in the top 10% while the other 90% of us suffer and live day to day, paycheck to paycheck.
The system is beyond broken.
Thank you, I am trying my hardest to help those who follow us, because That is why we were given these fights and these blessings.. It was never right, but I'll do whatever I can, while I can.❤
@@brandynicolejohnson It is really great to see you advocate. You have a truly powerful story that can change hearts and minds. Stay on that path of trying to help the next family that comes along. You and Tres in front of a State House or Senate Committee telling your story would probably go a very long way towards getting better legislation passed all over the country, one state at a time. I hope this video and enhanced visibility opens up a great deal of doors for you and Tres to make an even more massive difference.
very well spoken
Brandy, you are truly incredible. The hardships you have endured I cannot even begin to fathom. Tres is extremely lucky to have you fighting for him when so many others would have given up. Bless you and I hope that brighter days are on your horizon. Keep fighting the good fight, youre a different breed of human!@@brandynicolejohnson
No NHS due to fundamental capitalist greed that wants to turn every human experience into profit. Taking care of others collectively is one of the highest human achievements and this has been turned around into an evil thing and replaced with reverence for greed.
She is so compassionate, and it isn’t fair what they’ve been through, I’m disabled and medical marijuana lets me function. Good for her for doing what’s right for her kid
You’re a great mom and person! My older brother(B.1974)is considered mentally handicapped, he doesn’t read write or talk. My mom hasn’t worked most of her life to take care of him. I’m glad you’re in a paid position at least and found a medicine that helps!!! I hope it’s available more in other states over time.
As a pediatric nurse, I have witnessed first hand cannabis really works for seizure prevention. It’s sad that the providers in Tres and Brandy’s team refused to look further in cannabis treatment. Trust your gut parents. All medications, even approved pharmaceuticals have side effects. It’s a team effort and balance in determining which is best course of treatment.
My foster brother didn’t benefit from cannabis, it was sad we had such high hopes
I have seizures the first one I was on cannibas i took it and had another seizure. Before all that when I was a kid I had a bone marrow transplant...
US citizens, tax paying, law abiding parents deserve option to care for their children. Not dictation.
Oh, but those dollars are for Ukraine and to buy weapons to protect democracy.
In Pennsylvania we have the same problems, where family members can get paid to care for their disabled child. It should be national, and it just makes sense.
All US citizens deserve accessible and affordable medical care too but sure, you get what you vote for.
@@jeanieolahfulthey get paid pennies
U can’t support ur family on $12 an hr lol
The US healthcare system is horrible
Tres, you deserve a place in this world. How very blessed you are to have a mother like your mother , who will fight for you. God bless you guys.❤❤
I absolutely love how Chris talks to everyone so respectfully and equally. No judgment at all, just a human talking to another human ❤
He does an impeccable job of meeting his interviewees right where they are, with no expectations beyond mirroring their abilities. Chris is a wonderful role model.
Sometimes I question whether it is just a front though. People put up a persona for the camera but might be different in real life.
@@shortycastella that's coming across as a really unkind thing to say about someone who is doing so much good.
@@shortycastella why does it matter .
I’m praying for you both. ❤️
My heart is breaking for this family. Our country is so horrible to disabled people, it’s a disgrace
❤❤❤❤❤
A certain person made fun of a handicapped reporter a few years ago.
Thank you for sharing Brandy and Tres. This is such an important message. I was on anti-convulsant medications for years as a child and like Brandy said, I was still having petit mal seizures and they were making me nod off- it is so beautiful and brave that Brandy and Tres are speaking out and advocating for this, and thank you for using your platform for this
What this family has gone through is plainly discrimination. The ADA and law needs to be expanded and improved, one size does not fit all. I am grateful that people like Chris exist and are bringing these issues to the attention of the general public. I think most people can recognize that this mom is doing the best for her son and made the right choice for his care.
It's sad the our country is failing us when it comes to disabled people.
It’s failed everyone and everywhere!!!!
No one cares we are a afterthought even when it comes to accessible building that are by law required to be ada compliant they arnt
@DxonBwnbot or not it’s telling the truth, our government couldnt care less about the disabled or injured
@@GorillaWithACellphone❤
@@GorillaWithACellphone
Exactly!
This is such a powerful story. My heart goes out to this woman! So hard as a mother fighting for her child. Smh.
This story should be front page news. Institutions are never the first choice. Families should be able to stay together. Politics and big pharma run the world. Disgusting.
Well, institutions should be an option for those families that need them. So many institutions were closed in the 1980s, that really are needed.
@@Yooperskepticz They were closed due to pretty appalling conditions. They were supposed to be replaced with community-based care such as group homes and the like, but the money was never allocated to do so.
@@tampabaybuccaneer10 some were appalling, yes, but not all. And as usual the Republicans didn't allocate money for what they claimed would be the alternative, right.
But another factor that didn't seem to be considered is that residents objected to some community houses being in their neighborhood. Not really for physical disabilities, but for mental illness definitely.
@@Yooperskepticz Can you name a specific one that wasn't appalling? If you can, please share the name of the place that existed so we can verify (search & research) their history of patient & family members experience in such an institution.
Beautiful mother and human being. God bless her and her wonderful child. ❤️❤️❤️
SBSK; more of these kinds of interviews!!! I’m appalled that this isn’t an issue that’s forefront in current politics. This needs to change!!!
I can’t ever imagine blaming a mother for a disability their child has, has it happened, yes, but to assume that or accuse that without complete accurate knowledge of the mothers life, is Ignorant and extremely unhelpful. I’m so sorry any mom has to go through that kind of judgment. I have a son with a severe stutter whose 14 and I still think back all the time beating myself up, wondering if it was something I did, but of course it wasn’t my fault. No one will question a mother more than she will question herself. Be kind, it goes along way.
Especially from the medical staff. There are SIGNIFICANTLY more considerate ways to pursue the necessary testing. The NICU could have had the maternity ward request that testing prior to her being released, for one, so that when she finally could leave, she could just go see her child. Kindness costs nothing.
Excellent advice! Unfortunately, there seem to be a lot of people who don't believe in unconditional kindness - and who blame mothers (not, apparently, fathers) for children's disabilities. My son is autistic; I've not heard anyone accuse me of taking drugs during my pregnancy (which I didn't do) - but there are people who assume (and directly say) that he's 'spoiled rotten' or that I 'need to smack him' - sometimes just because he can't stand still or speak concisely when trying to ask questions (though the latter could be because he also can't modulate the volume or tone of his voice).
What a wonderfully kind mother! It's really good to see that she and Tres are still doing well. I hope she's able to find the support they both deserve! Cannabis therapy shouldn't receive so much stigma, it's enough to make you cry hearing a child could experience seizures constantly, especially knowing there's something that could help that people would outlaw. Hope Tres lives a long full life. such a unique person deserves to have their story told, not swept under a rug.
I'm quite literally sobbing rn. I love her and tres so very much. This is what inspires me to one day possibly take care of people with disabilities in very tough situations like hers. The government owes her more than she realizes. Maybe not legally, but ethically and morally. I'll never understand how you can look at someone like tres and see him as a waste of life. He's a human being, disabled or not. I wish this family truly the best
Tres's mother has been through a lot. She cares for her son, and she stands up to get him what he needs. She is one of the greatest mothers I have heard of. She deserves way more respect and love for what she has done.
We should all be so fortunate to have a mother like her
Congratulations Cartera😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😢😢🎉🎉😂❤❤❤eyctcrewzwtvybubujijiutclppooookjjjuuyy65ttfggggyu8😅😮😢😮😊
I admire Chris Ulmer so much! The empathy and compassion he expresses toward disabled folks is a rarity; we need more people like him. I also admire the mother for the love she provides to her son and her resilience, as well as Tres's resilience and beautiful soul.
He’s so quiet!! Both mom and son are beautiful ❤ thank you for sharing Tres with us.
This family deserves respect! Tres is a miracle! He is definitely loved and enjoying life. Tres is also helping so many other children with his life story. Just the effectiveness of his the choice of seizure medications. He’s literally writing the book of surviving with this rare mutation.
I don’t know about anyone else, but I seem to see how beautiful Tres’ soul is and forget about his condition. That’s the magic of this channel. ❤
YASSSSSS❤
😐
The vilification of cannabis is ludicrous. I hope other states will make parental caregiving an option like Colorado does, and I hope that Brandy and Tres can be reunited with their family soon.
But how can pharma charge a rent payment for a pill when patients can grow a plant for essentially free?
I believe Oregon does too. In all honesty if she lived here in CA, I'd grow it for her alongside my own. The fact Dr's won't touch him of it shows up in his blood. If cannabis is the only med needed. She needs to reach out to growers, I know folks that will priority ship it to her anywhere in the US any oroduct and ratio blend of thc and cannabinoids. He needs a solid 1 to 1 ratio strain and another thc rich plant loaded in the cbn and cbg category for a solid entourage effect that combats epilepsy and seizure bound users. She desperately needs to reach out find a private grower in the US, it's not hard in Colorado. God I wish I could sit her down and introduce her to a few friends out there that'd do that or here in Cali. She needs to know we do that stuff constantly I've never messed up over 200 orders that priority shipped fine. As well know the THCa loophole and familiarized with legal alternative cannabinoids that flare the same receptors. If she's willing to care for him she should be paid like a nurse, stay home, and use the least harmful most beneficial med available without being treated like a criminal. Ludicrous and I pray that they one day change the caregiving laws. I'm a registered caregiver and have seen families run into similar situations here but because the income amount, just candles out care by parents that would do best for their child but can't and it's a shitty system. I should know work for IHSS.
Forcing it on somebody who can not mentally refuse it is a crime. Oh i give him it because he has 200-300 seizures a day is not an excuse. This poor man has never had a chance at a life and clearly cant even function on his own. He is in constant pain and will only know how painful his life is.
@@johnmayer9373 how do you know he's constantly in pain?
Brandy, your son Tres is beautiful, with a lovely spirit to match yours! Thank you for fighting so hard to make a space for him. In doing so, you make space for so many others who need it as well. Building a better world, a future that's worth living in. Sending you love and strength, and I'm glad that y'all have found a safe haven. 🫂
Good old USA, where pharmaceutical companies only care about profits and couldn't care less about human beings. Makes me so sick and angry. Thank goodness for Tres' awesome Mom and how hard she will fight for him. What a lovely family 🫶🙂
The pro-lifers need to step it up
Jerenihallyn4603 ❤
Hospitals are also profit driven!
@@margaretgarana911and the pro choicers do too
I left the US and have no reason to return. My wife and I are much happier in another country
My son has epilepsy and cannabis is the only thing that prevents his seizures. On medications he was still having seizures. The side effects of the medicine was horrible. So I understand what your going through. Luckily NJ has made cannabis legal. But it's still not federally approved.
That is great to hear. I'm sad to live in a country where cannabis is treated like heroin.. I use it myself and I know it would help some of my family members but they all have been taught that it's bad for you.
@@Quzgawhich country do you live in? Not Brazil I guess
@@tufab3494 Sweden. Our drug laws are so behind.. Even alcohol is controlled by the gov.
When I went to school our textbooks said how cannabis can make you snap and kill your friend randomly lol
When Tres was seizing and started crying my heart broke because I have epilepsy and I know that having seizures is tremendously frightening even as a neurotypical adult.
@@Sarah.Riedel Oceans of love to you from Nevada U.S.A
I have a lot of respect for this woman, she’s an amazing mother. God bless her and Tres 🙏🏻❤️
Tres truly is best off with his mother, she goes to bat for him and doesn't back down in the face of idiots. Why anyone would think an institution is better for him is beyond me.
He might end up in one later if he outlives his mother.
I work for an independent living program for adults with intellectual disabilities. We discovered a loophole in saving money through what is called an ABLE Savings Account. In Massachusetts we too have the ridiculous law that those with disabilities cannot have more than $2000 in their traditional bank accounts because their benefits will be at risk. Fortunately, there are conversations on a legislative level that is working to raise that 🙌
This!!!
Look into an ABLE savings account!
Ridiculous! Imagine caregiver live frugally to save for the disabled person! How terrible!!
We have ABLE savings account in Ohio as well.
@@evelien1352000 barely covers mortgage and utilities for each month in most places. You must think the disabled are abusing the crappy system and you are part of the problem
I applaud this amazing mother. Her strength is immeasurable.
To those mothers who has special kids... don't take the blame. It's not your fault. You're a very good mama. Stay Strong.
God bless you for this.
@@YabbaDabbaDooooo 🥰🥰🥰
She is one of the Best Mothers I have ever seen and heard.
thank you, it means a lot
thank you. I got teary eyed reading this
Chris...I am an Ordained Minister who served for many years as a Nursing Home Chaplain.
However.....I had to stop, because the nursing homes here in the USA are nothing more than warehouses for humans.
When I was in Atwood, Kansas, I pushed back on the horrible way the local hospital and nursing homes were working together to keep elderly people in them, and overmedicated as well. My reward? The State of Kansas used their power, along with law enforcement, and tried to have me jailed for exposing the corruption!!!
Thank you for the struggle
It is both a curse and a blessing that information can now spread like wildfire via the internet. Misinformation spreads just like the actual news. But in the end, secrets of corruption become less and less a secret.
People like you really help, thank you for doing what is right. I am sorry you had to go through so many losses for it. But never stop talking about it. ❤
Oh my gosh, he's got the BEST smile, ever! I bet he gives great hugs, too!
This channel has changed my life.
I started watching your channel several years ago. Since starting to watch your channel, I have been proactive about talking to people, especially children, with different abilities.
I try to speak directly with the child, even if they are nonverbal. I don’t speak about them like they are 3rd party to a conversation about them.
Last week I went to meet the teacher with my 13 year old daughter, and there was a little baby who had a different ability. It was so heartwarming because the mother let me talk to the baby and the baby lifted his little foot up for me to rub. ❤
Thank you for promoting interactions amongst all people with different gifts and talents.
This woman is incredibly kind and strong. Watching how she cared for Tres during his seizure was so heartwarming. Nobody better can take care of him.
Omg! What a ray of sunshine Tres is! And what a wonderful mother! You are an amazing team!❤
I am native and a teen mom and I relate to that mom and thr NICU people being judgemental at times. I had a hard labour and required tons more narcotics than we expected. Then when my daughter was born with some breathing issues (due to my mothers second hand smoke) they took her urine to do drug testing without telling me. Can you bet which drugs were positive? The ones THE SAME hospital gave me during labour. They asked me these horrible questions and showed me the positives were literally ONLY the medications given to me 24 hours before for my labour. Once THEY confirmed with THEIR own hospital staff they stopped being rude and mean?! I was like….how do they treat actual addicts then?! Absolutely insane. She sounds like a wonderful mom and person and I hope her and Tres are doing well ❤
Never has a video filled me with so much respect and indignation simultaneously. Like, these institutions couldn’t be more villainous if they tried. This mom is amazing. That’s what unconditional love looks like.
Brandy, you are incredible! Tres, you are a blessing. For those in the comments who feel his life has no meaning, shame on you! You do not value human life as precious and a gift from God! Praying for the two of you. Know that there are people like me who feel inspired by your story! God Bless you!
You are an amazing mother, other mothers could learn a lot about motherhood from you. Your son is a beautiful miracle. God bless you both.
I really adore learning with these videos. They really changed my perspective about certain disabilities. I also love how much the parents know about their children's conditions; it shows how involved in their lives they are and how much they love them. Lots of love to this family and kudos to the mother for enduring so much medical negligence and still provide her son a good life.
Wow! What an amazingly strong strong woman and wonderful mother. Lots of respect from me!
❤All 4 of us in our family are Autistic & my youngest has a rare CHD. Too all the mamas & papas out there...never give up your children love you more than you know & even though it's complicated & hard know you're loved. I feel nothing but pity for those who judge this sweet boy/family I hope they change their hearts.
I am full of admiration for the love and care you have for your family. You are doing exactly what is right - what is wrong is that you are forced into such a desperate situation.
Bless you both and the rest of your family.
Jinny - UK
Broke my heart when he was having a seizure and all mom could do was just comfort him while he cried!! Mom is sooo amazing!!! ❤❤❤❤
When you asked if he thought throwing 3 of the toys was a good idea he looked at you like. You madman let's do it. 😂
Love you guys, so glad you got to do an update. Give that lil man a big hug for me. 🖤
Bless these two… Tres’s mum is a strong woman especially for going through all those hurtful things people have said to her… I’m sure he will live to be a happy man
thank you so much for bringing attention to the issues talked about in this episode and the way the us treats disabled people and their caregivers. its so important to talk about it and raise awareness so things can change.
I’m in Canada. What this Mom says is so true! Even here with single payer health care. A friend of mine had a son with serious mental health issues - from the time he was a baby. They tried to get help. Finally when he was in his teens she had to give him up because they couldn’t live with him (he was seriously hurting people including a younger sibling) and the children’s mental health system did nothing but blame the family. It’s a terrible thing to put parents through this! And the children have every right to be with their families and to be part of their community. People with disabilities enrich our society by allowing us to see things from a different perspective.
Chris, there is no one in this world like you, my man. You connect & respect like no other, & you truly are my hero. So is this incredible, beautiful soul of a mother!!! What grace. If only we could replace society leaders' counsel with people like you guys
What a remarkable woman. May God bless her and Tres. I am so sorry they have had to go through this,
I’m actually a union representative for the job that this wonderful mother does. I’m actually in California where we also have a program like this in home support services. On a daily basis I have parents family people in the community. Trying to keep this program alive because like she said they want us to put them in institutions, so thankfully, in the state of California, the union that represents them is called united domestic workers, thanks to our union members. We have been able to keep the program for so many years and through so many attempts to cut the budget, I hope in her state they have a similar union because we believe that this program should exist in every state
I am very sceptical of unions usually, but this is one case where I think it does make good sense. Thank you for your work and best of luck. I hope that this can be put in place in every state.
I am so grateful to you. I’m applying to be my son’s caregiver. He is nonverbal and has autism. He’s 3 and was born at 33wks. He had a brain bleed, hole in his heart and was in the NICU for 31 days. I’m fighting hard to even get IHSS because my baby is only 3. He needs total care.
@@nikkibb1998 Contact your local union office. See who repersents IHSS in your county. It will either United domestic workers, which is the one i work at or it will be SEIU. I wish i could pm you to help more but there's no where i can
When Tres was crying from having a seizure, i started crying, too. i can’t imagine having 300-400 seizures a day or being Mom having to see him go through the pain. People can be so cruel, especially so-called “experts.”
Sending much love, happiness, and peace to your family 💗
That was so sad 😢
Thank goodness his mom has the true heart of a parent ❤ 😭 🥰
I'm so proud of you lady you so brave, big up
You are truly an incredible woman. The sacrifices you've made are unfathomable.
From age 10-18 I took care of children similar to Tres and some much more handicapped (as volunteer from 10-14 then as an employee age 15-18). Never once did it occur to me that the mothers had caused their challenges. This was in the 70s. I worked with dozens over those years. Most were congenital and just a few happened after birth from a heart attack, rat poison, or seizure. It seems bizarre that in this age of easy quick access to information, anyone could be so ignorant still to assume the mother is at fault.
I definitely agree that blaming the mothers is not something that should ever be assumed as sometimes abnormalities are just random, and other times the mothers did not know they were exposing their fetus to something that could cause this. However, there are some druggies out there who do deserve blame. But like I said, it should never just be assumed that this is the cause.
When it comes to hospitals ordering medical histories and drug tests etc, that isn't blame, that is due diligence. The cause of the abnormality needs to be identified for the sake of furthering medical science on the matter.
For example, what if a bunch of other women in her area also started having similar severe abnormalities in their offspring? They would need to have on record that all these cases were not otherwise explained by known substances, so that the environmental factor can be identified and dealt with to prevent more tragedies like this.
I love this mother so much 🦋💕 Sending her love 🧸
This mother is a superhero! I can feel her love and compassion, and she is so educated on Tres’ condition. She is an amazing advocate!
I am special guardian for my Granddaughter who has Autism and FAS…. I remember once taking her shopping with me and a man about 70 said to his wife as loud as u like “look at it, if it was a dog you wouldn’t take it out on a lead…” I won’t tell u what I said but i cert approached him on it.there by the grace of god go is all.
damn, even old people can be garbage.
Thats so sad. God bless you and your granddaughter. There is a special place for people like that and its such a shame. Love overcomes all. How miserable a person like that must be to think that about anyone, let alone a child
That old man will face God one day. If he still alive. I’m sorry if someone said that to you. I had polio from the vaccine when I was a baby and people could be cruel and I just walked funny.
omg I can't imagine that. I might have bit his face off. Bless you and your wonderful granddaughter ❤
Adults are the worst, but for every bad one there are 10 somewhere
Tres and Brandy, you are both amazing people. Tres, you are such a happy beautiful young boy!! And Brandy, you are so so strong. I hope only good things will come your way.
Sending you warm hugs from the other side of the world!!! ❤❤❤
what a beautiful, inspiring woman. her son is obviously so loved. its her love that has kept him living longer than doctors expected. i really dont understand why she's faced so much discrimination. its really just aweful. i want to give her a big hug. both of them actually
People keep claiming that she took drugs and other unhealthy habits while she was pregnant with Tres like what she literally said in her story. Come to think of it I hadn't found anything from her mouth denying their claims... she really was?
This woman is so incredibly brave and powerfully strong!
What a wonderful Mother she is!!!
I love you Chris! I love you Alyssa! Thank you for your amazing work, I’m a huge fan of SBSK and I’m so grateful for all your videos! Hugs and kisses from Poland 🇵🇱
I'm sending my love to the mother 💓 she was treated badly after the child's birth. I can tell it broke her heart. It takes a strong woman to persevere and continue forward amidst all the judgment that they're giving her. She is a wonderful mother! I'm so sorry for The way you've been judged and treated ❤
I hope mom can learn her lesson to stay healthy when she's pregnant because they keep saying she was an addict. Sad truth.
What an amazing example of a mother's love for her children. This is one of the most emotional sbsk videos I've seen. People have to put up with so much and get treated so badly. It's heartbreaking.
Inside I feel a fire and anger knowing that this has happened to this mom let alone many others out there. The world can be such a shitty place. This is why Chris's work is so important. 👊🧡👍
You know, being born with some impairments and disabilities, to being told that doctors asked my parents that they wanted to use me as an lab rat rather then to be given a chance to living a life, I completely understand what Tres’ mother means with wanting equality, love and respect for her son. For him to be treated with care because he is, in fact, another human being in this world (however, he has a special light in him). Shame on all of those “doctors” who gave up on Tres. Absolute shame. Seeing Tres being happy throughout the video was truly a blessing.😭❤
❤
Such a loving caring mother. God Bless her and her son.
I’m so taken aback by this story of this lovely woman and her son. Brought me to tears hearing about the inequality and disrespect that they have been shown. I think it’s ironic in the fact that Tres is one special and unique young man yet people in power turn a blind eye. Why is the world like this? I’m so touched by this story. I really honestly hope they get to be with their family very soon. And hooray for Cannabis, it’s helping so many lead a more fulfilling life 💕 Thank you for sharing this as usual 🙂🩷🥰
I loved Tres's story the first time we got to meet him and his beautiful Mom! She is such an amazing Mom! Please let her know that your followers care about her and Tres!God bless her!
Your son is absolutely adorable! Sorry you went through SO much when he was born, but it happens at times, right before
we receive a huge blessing, as you did, your son. I would throw those stuff animals all day with him to capture that smile. Continual blessings to you and your family.
He seems to be in good spirits and the mother is an Angel
Cannabis is one of the only things that helps my pain. It only just became legal for medical reasons in the uk fairly recently. It's been a fight for me, so I can empathise with Tres' mom. Tres, you are an amazing person! I love your smile, its infectious! :D
2018 but they kept it very quiet
In Brazil we are finally seeing flowers get legalized for medical uses (oils and stuff are allowed since 2017 or so). We are currently buying them from the US (both CBD and THCa flowers) but I hope we can grow it here soon