Give this homeboy a break. He may not be simping period. He sounds like genuine, compassionate and providing man by natural appropriately conditioned character and there is nothing wrong with those qualities. But have a discussion like this will hopefully provide the rationale he needs to recalibrate that change is needed and to stand strong with that informed decision of change. Let's build another brother up, not keep him down.
@@1SmokingLizardyeah I agree, but I am certain other people have told him this already. Thats what having the boys around, we tell it like it is. Thats what makes you tough.
Enabling others is an emotional or mental issue that people have. And yes, it is foolish, but it's also something that a person has to realize that they are doing to their own detriment as well as the person they are trying to help many times. It's not always easy to see that change needs to happen until others point it out to you. I know, because I was a former enabler, but I am now learning that I needed to change and am making the changes I need to make so that I won't find myself in that position any longer.
Make no mistake, deep down, Michael still loves his ex-wife and is hoping she will come back to him, and she's going to use that to her advantage as long as she can.
Oh Michael... she is not your dependent. You HAVE to not only never give her a cent again... but you have to cut ALL ties with her. Stop talking to her. Stop all contact with her. Please sir.... she’s not a good person. She has bad character and is using you. Don’t feel guilty about cutting that type of person out of your life. Save your money, Michael. She is a horrible person!
They laugh at him behind is back for giving them money. And he even knows it but he still gives it to them. You know what's going to happen when he has a financial problem and goes to them for help. They'll sick their dogs on him.
@@stevenporter863 I think Jade knew he probably wasn't very well off and that was to drive the point home to him that he isn't even in a position to give money. I do think there would be a bit of a difference if the caller was a multi-millionaire and the amount he was talking about was only a few hundred bucks a month or something. Doesn't mean they are entitled to his money though.
I don't think that was the implication of her question. I think she was simply trying to get him to understand that before they even start talking about any of the relational things, the conversation already ends at the fact that he's giving money he doesn't have.@@stevenporter863
Feeling sorry for them is not helping them, she needs to stand on her own two feet. The more you give the more times she’ll come back time and time again.
I feel bad for him, because he’s clearly a caring guy. You can tell that his entire life’s worth and purpose is tied to taking care of his ex wife and adult kids. That said, time to turn over a new leaf and find something else to pour into.
I don't think that's what she was getting at at all. I think she just wanted to make sure there wasn't some other reason that he was sending her money beyond just she asks for it. I was also wondering about the same time in the phone call if there was something else going on.
As someone who lives on the west caost, and has friends and family in the south, people out here don't understand how common, and almost ingrained in the culture this codependence is.
I know a guy who’s girl left him to marry another man. They had 2 children together and a couple of years later her husband died suddenly of a heart attack. She came back crying, and now he is supporting her, her two kids from another man, and he feels like a winner. I thought he was the simp of all simps…but Michael, you take the award buddy. She made her bed, let her lie in it.
Sad… this guy has codependency issues and can’t let her go. After 10 yrs, you should’ve definitely let her go already. He needs therapy for that because it’s not only effecting him mentally and emotionally but his future self is also being destroyed.
her ex maybe BPD or other mental case, long term exposure with these persons creates trauma bond. I have lived that same situation and its still a daily reminder (the trauma part), luckily didnt drag it 10 years. Can't even imagine the constant pain and anxiaty 10 years would do.
Tell her the Bank of Michael is closed ! Cut the ties then go on with your life. She chose another man over you. That ended this TOXIC relationship. Her karma has come for her. May Almighty God bless you and keep you Michael. You deserve to have your life back and draw the boundaries. The bank of Michael is CLOSED!!!
John, she will continue trying to see if he will stick to his boundaries of telling her "No more money as of today" as you suggested. He needs to know that his ex wife will keep trying to step over his boundaries at least for the foreseeable future. The person I was helping that I had to cut off has tried several times to give me sob stories, even though EACH time I've repeated to her that I cannot help any longer. Those boundaries he's setting up are going to have to stay strong each time she tries it!
Poor Michael his heart is in the right place, but unfortunately being absolutely violated and taken advantage of by a stupid ex wife and a lazy daughter :(
If the ex needs food, that's what food banks are for. She might even be eligible for home-delivered meals. The next time she asks, just say, "I haven't got it." Because you *DON'T* have it: you need it for yourself. Imagine the savings you could've had for the last ten years if you hadn't ponied up for her cigarettes, or whatever else she wanted. Add it all up -- hopefully it'll make you mad enough to say "no mas!" Then spend the *next* ten years *saving that $$ for yourself!* You called in for the advice: *TAKE IT!*
Walk away. She has not been your problem for over a decade. Kids are grown, cut the apron strings. Her money problems are HER problems, not yours. Tell her to stop calling you, and refuse to take her calls.
she.s probably calls him up and whisper sweet words in his ear.are the husband wondering where is she getting money for cigarettes.i am sure he does not care. as long as he get,s a cut.
We need to get ride of divorce in general. Second husbands and wives shouldn't be a thing. If you wanna leave cool no second marriage unless someone dies.
@@nikkisigmon8090 If no child support, then mommy is going to have to put her "unhappiness" aside to raise the kid she created inside a home with the father. We dont need the government stealing men's money.
She ain’t your problem no more. Let it go and move on. If she wants money, please tell her to go get a job. Move on with your life man. You deserve better.
I think Jade was looking to see if the caller was emotionally sucked into his ex's situation because she might be being abused. She made her choices and it's not the caller's problem, but he still cares for her. Jade was trying to figure out the strength of those ties. I'm sure if the caller said yes, she's being abused, Jade would have told him it's not his problem anymore and the best he can do is call the authorities if he wants to help her, that money isn't going to fix that problem.
@@AllynHin So she’s either not safe, in which case he can’t help her, or she is safe, in which case he shouldn’t help her. Either way, he needs to move on.
@@mustangthings I agree with that. What did I say would make you think I didn't agree? I was merely offering a reason why Jade would ask that question.
He sounds like he may have some kind of developmental delays. He needs a good friend to walk with him while he changes his number and moves to someplace she can't find him.
He thinks he’s helping them and probably thinks he’s receiving praise for it, but I bet the mother laughs and makes jokes about it behind his back for giving her(a married woman) money
Easier said than done. Ex wife needs help and only this man has done that. I feel sorry for the ex even though she dumped him for another man ten years ago. Who knows, maybe that couch potato has a double digit companion that keeps her smiling.
I know people who has this same dynamic. Originally the ex kept providing because they had kids together and so when child support wasn’t enough, because she and her new husband were broke. But kids are now grown, child support ended but they are so used to their dynamic, she keeps calling her ex. He tries to resist, she guilts, cries and begs. He helps ‘one last time’; and the cycle repeats
I can identify with his situation. There’s probably some guilt from when they were together some things that weren’t done right so now he feels this is his way to make up, to show that he is a good person as he says, but that is very unhealthy for all involved and it’s so hard to make the change. I really hope he can for his own well-being.
This man is exhibiting weak character and badly enabling both this woman and his adult daughter…..time to put your foot down and force people to grow up!
What a disastrous situation. The daughter picked up the behavior of the mother. It is to late for them, is going to take probably 10 years for the daughter to change her behaviors. There is no hope for the mother. Yep, that guy should stay away from that mess.
I think the guy is fibbing about one thing. I don't think he simply cares for her or feels sorry for her. I think he still loves her even though she left him. For those that just want to insult him, it's not that uncommon and I feel for him. But he needs to move on. He may even need to move away to break away from this.
They’ll always tell you to get married on this show but then these calls go right over their heads. Guess what, marriage isn’t the answer for everyone (shocker)
You are enabling their bad behavior by keep giving them money. Stop giving them money. Has their situation improved in the last 10 years, no. The new guy is still on the sofa, the ex is still asking for money. The daughter needs to move out. They are all adults and need a reality check. Don’t giving them money ever again.
Saying "NO" is something you learn as a child. How people unlearn that and let someone trample all over themselves is a mystery to me. This man sounds desperate to be loved by someone who doesn't love him back. What a horrible place to be. Move on, man....find someone to love that'll love you back!!
Daughter is 28 and living with Mama this guy. Unfortunately I don't think has respect for himself. His ex-wife probably never really loved him. Got a baby with him and she left him. Got a new husband but she's always telling him about her problems because he's always been the safe person that would give her what she needed but not what she really wanted and he's just never figured it out unfortunately. This sucks
Stop simping Michael and get your self respect back 🙏
Money for cigarettes. Unbelievable!
Dude grow a backbone
Preach it mah bruthas!!!
Give this homeboy a break. He may not be simping period. He sounds like genuine, compassionate and providing man by natural appropriately conditioned character and there is nothing wrong with those qualities. But have a discussion like this will hopefully provide the rationale he needs to recalibrate that change is needed and to stand strong with that informed decision of change. Let's build another brother up, not keep him down.
@@1SmokingLizardyeah I agree, but I am certain other people have told him this already. Thats what having the boys around, we tell it like it is. Thats what makes you tough.
Just say no. Block her number and move on. He’s being used. What a foolish man.
Enabling others is an emotional or mental issue that people have. And yes, it is foolish, but it's also something that a person has to realize that they are doing to their own detriment as well as the person they are trying to help many times. It's not always easy to see that change needs to happen until others point it out to you. I know, because I was a former enabler, but I am now learning that I needed to change and am making the changes I need to make so that I won't find myself in that position any longer.
He needs to seek help. He needs to learn a new word. NO
Make no mistake, deep down, Michael still loves his ex-wife and is hoping she will come back to him, and she's going to use that to her advantage as long as she can.
They’ve been conning him for a decade and he just can’t let it go.
"Conning" implies deception. There was no deception here. They've been taking advantage of him, not conning him.
Her mom is sick but he’s giving her money for cigarettes?? There’s no sickness that is fixed with cigarettes!!!
You have to understand the mindset. Food and shelter are nice to have, but cigarettes are essential.
What in the hill billy hell.
😂😂😂
He still fucking it
"Hill billy hell" 🤣
Really? Rude
LOL
"NO" is a complete sentence, init ?
Yes! and Repeat as necessary.
😂
Not for a simp
Oh Michael... she is not your dependent.
You HAVE to not only never give her a cent again... but you have to cut ALL ties with her.
Stop talking to her. Stop all contact with her.
Please sir.... she’s not a good person. She has bad character and is using you.
Don’t feel guilty about cutting that type of person out of your life.
Save your money, Michael. She is a horrible person!
They laugh at him behind is back for giving them money. And he even knows it but he still gives it to them. You know what's going to happen when he has a financial problem and goes to them for help. They'll sick their dogs on him.
Jade did John's job for him on this one 😂
I'm not surprised by this. 😆
6:56
Jade: what is the difference if he has money? If me has extra cash doesn't mean it is hers, they aren't even married and she remarried. 🤣
Are you safe?
@@stevenporter863 I think Jade knew he probably wasn't very well off and that was to drive the point home to him that he isn't even in a position to give money. I do think there would be a bit of a difference if the caller was a multi-millionaire and the amount he was talking about was only a few hundred bucks a month or something. Doesn't mean they are entitled to his money though.
I don't think that was the implication of her question. I think she was simply trying to get him to understand that before they even start talking about any of the relational things, the conversation already ends at the fact that he's giving money he doesn't have.@@stevenporter863
Feeling sorry for them is not helping them, she needs to stand on her own two feet. The more you give the more times she’ll come back time and time again.
I feel bad for him, because he’s clearly a caring guy. You can tell that his entire life’s worth and purpose is tied to taking care of his ex wife and adult kids. That said, time to turn over a new leaf and find something else to pour into.
Jade pulled the John Deloney line😂
never pay for a car you cant drive. dont give her another cent. her man is living off your money.
She chose another man over you. Let HIM give her money. She's playing you like a stradivarius.
she pickin' him like a banjo, rather
Idk what that is, but yes.
There's nothing to figure out. They're not married.
My ex left me and our daughter for a kid she works with eight years ago. I never gave her a dime and never will.
Thatta boy! Her loss.
@@chartuckLiterally. It cost her six figures in child support over the course of 15 years, too.
2:29
Nope. She left. She's safe. She chose her bed, she'll sleep in it. It's not Michael's responsibility. AT ALL.
I don't think that's what she was getting at at all.
I think she just wanted to make sure there wasn't some other reason that he was sending her money beyond just she asks for it.
I was also wondering about the same time in the phone call if there was something else going on.
As someone who lives on the west caost, and has friends and family in the south, people out here don't understand how common, and almost ingrained in the culture this codependence is.
It's gross. And you're right. I've seen it plenty. I live in north carolina
This guy had a southern accent, but I've got news for you, it's not just in the south, and it's not confined to low income people, either.
@@BrianW211 You're right, there is probably just something about the southern accent that makes it stand out to me and stick in my mind.
I know a guy who’s girl left him to marry another man. They had 2 children together and a couple of years later her husband died suddenly of a heart attack. She came back crying, and now he is supporting her, her two kids from another man, and he feels like a winner.
I thought he was the simp of all simps…but Michael, you take the award buddy. She made her bed, let her lie in it.
What in the fried bologna sandwich is goin on here?
Definitely not an ordinary bologna sandwich
Stop giving, live your life.
Enjoy what time u have
Sad… this guy has codependency issues and can’t let her go. After 10 yrs, you should’ve definitely let her go already. He needs therapy for that because it’s not only effecting him mentally and emotionally but his future self is also being destroyed.
her ex maybe BPD or other mental case, long term exposure with these persons creates trauma bond. I have lived that same situation and its still a daily reminder (the trauma part), luckily didnt drag it 10 years. Can't even imagine the constant pain and anxiaty 10 years would do.
Michael is not a simp, he's an enabler
No he’s a simp. He is not only supporting his ex wife, he’s supporting the man she left him for. He needs to grow a pair.
Neither simp nor enabler just not the brightest bulb in ye old box.
SIMP!!!
Whatever he is it doesn't sound like he's changing
Michael sounds like he is intellectually challenged. People like him are easily taken advantage of.
Zero Simp'athy. Say no to your trifling ex-wife.
No SIMPathy. yep.
@@chartuckZx6r? Cant tell but it looks beautiful man✌🏼
Nicee wordplay there xD
Big simpin, spending cheese.
Tell her the Bank of Michael is closed !
Cut the ties then go on with your life.
She chose another man over you. That ended this TOXIC relationship.
Her karma has come for her. May Almighty God bless you and keep you Michael. You deserve to have your life back and draw the boundaries. The bank of Michael is CLOSED!!!
Don't give her a penny. Saved a fortune once my ex and I broke up, it's a blessing in disguise.
This is one of the most pathetic callers who has ever called. He needs to be called out as such. This is truly pitiful behavior.
I like these type of conversations! Down to earth shit! Love it!
John, she will continue trying to see if he will stick to his boundaries of telling her "No more money as of today" as you suggested. He needs to know that his ex wife will keep trying to step over his boundaries at least for the foreseeable future. The person I was helping that I had to cut off has tried several times to give me sob stories, even though EACH time I've repeated to her that I cannot help any longer. Those boundaries he's setting up are going to have to stay strong each time she tries it!
More people need to hear this.
🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️ enabling is not ok to give money to your ex is just plain stupid.
Insane, my jaw is on the floor. Like why dude ..
Even the new husband knows he can quit a job because the ex will hand over money.
The thing is they wont help themselves as long they have someone paying their way
@southernbelle2478 You're absolutely right!
Poor Michael his heart is in the right place, but unfortunately being absolutely violated and taken advantage of by a stupid ex wife and a lazy daughter :(
Bless your heart Michael ❤
If the ex needs food, that's what food banks are for. She might even be eligible for home-delivered meals. The next time she asks, just say, "I haven't got it." Because you *DON'T* have it: you need it for yourself. Imagine the savings you could've had for the last ten years if you hadn't ponied up for her cigarettes, or whatever else she wanted. Add it all up -- hopefully it'll make you mad enough to say "no mas!" Then spend the *next* ten years *saving that $$ for yourself!* You called in for the advice: *TAKE IT!*
Just say no!!! It's that simple walk away that simple!!!
I don’t think he will stop 😢
Most of these personal financial issues can be resolved with common sense.
The caller needs to learn the magic word, "No!"
OMG! This is just too much. He really needs to put his shit together
Simple Solution: "NO". Repeat as necessary.
This guy perpetuates the Alabama stereotype 🤣
He’s not gonna stop giving her money
Bless his heart
Walk away. She has not been your problem for over a decade. Kids are grown, cut the apron strings. Her money problems are HER problems, not yours. Tell her to stop calling you, and refuse to take her calls.
I can feel the concern & the teaching down to a lower level of a less intellectual individual. 👏
I nominate the caller for simp of the decade.
the ex-wife is out of pocket. Why is she going to another man about money she needs.
Users exploit anyone they can
@@christophercarrigg3775 👍
she.s probably calls him up and whisper sweet words in his ear.are the husband wondering where is she getting money for cigarettes.i am sure he does not care. as long as he get,s a cut.
Wait a minute, why is the fool supporting his ex wife? That makes ABSOLUTELY no sense. Get a backbone.
I don’t believe in supporting grown people.
Get a spine Michael. Just do it. For you.
@Old_Toby 👍
Hypergamy on display here. He sounds so defeated and depressed. He's a good man who's been taken advantage of his whole life. So sad.
He is NOT a good man. A good man doesn't perpetuate evil. A good man doesn't help evil grow.
He's NOT a victim. Cut that mess out. He's in control of his own life.
@@LadyCaroline123yeah she “leveled down” 😂
@@LadyCaroline123 She kept her options open and left him for another man. He’s a simp who still loves her despite her treating him like garbage.
@@LadyCaroline123 No dummy
Their family tree is a circle. Lol
Omg lol
The circle of life
She made her decision and it isn't you! You admitted she's spending the money on cigarettes!
We desperately need to get rid of no fault divorce, alimony and child support.
We need to get ride of divorce in general. Second husbands and wives shouldn't be a thing. If you wanna leave cool no second marriage unless someone dies.
If no child support, then no ability to make more kids. You created them, you dont just get to dump and run from basic responsibility.
@@nikkisigmon8090 If no child support, then mommy is going to have to put her "unhappiness" aside to raise the kid she created inside a home with the father. We dont need the government stealing men's money.
@@djpuplexThat is very simplistic. What about abuse and starting a new life, or addiction that wasn't there when origionally married, etc .
These are all terrible ideas, but at least you were confident enough to share them, so I respect that
That fact that he knows that many details is a red flag
Michael, read the book Boundaries by Dr. Cloud.
Simpin ain’t easy
She ain’t your problem no more. Let it go and move on. If she wants money, please tell her to go get a job. Move on with your life man. You deserve better.
Would you pay maintenance for a car you no longer drive?
Michael is why cousins should NEVER marry.
Bruh...
😂😂😂 damn!
😂😂😂 damn!!
See.........😮
Good God, birth control should be implanted at birth and only removed after an IQ test is passed.
I'm surprised John didn't side with the woman and asked if she was safe 😂
Jade asked that today lol
Yup, Jade did the honor
2:29 Jade…. Who the hell cares if she’s “safe over there” or not?
Exactly.
She's over there smoking cigarettes all day. That's not safe. 😆
I think Jade was looking to see if the caller was emotionally sucked into his ex's situation because she might be being abused. She made her choices and it's not the caller's problem, but he still cares for her. Jade was trying to figure out the strength of those ties. I'm sure if the caller said yes, she's being abused, Jade would have told him it's not his problem anymore and the best he can do is call the authorities if he wants to help her, that money isn't going to fix that problem.
@@AllynHin So she’s either not safe, in which case he can’t help her, or she is safe, in which case he shouldn’t help her. Either way, he needs to move on.
@@mustangthings I agree with that. What did I say would make you think I didn't agree? I was merely offering a reason why Jade would ask that question.
Doesn't just about everyone want money? If you're always handing money out someone will take it.
He sounds like he may have some kind of developmental delays. He needs a good friend to walk with him while he changes his number and moves to someplace she can't find him.
He thinks he’s helping them and probably thinks he’s receiving praise for it, but I bet the mother laughs and makes jokes about it behind his back for giving her(a married woman) money
Easier said than done. Ex wife needs help and only this man has done that. I feel sorry for the ex even though she dumped him for another man ten years ago. Who knows, maybe that couch potato has a double digit companion that keeps her smiling.
He had better worry about any life insurance policies on his life. They are sociopaths.
I know people who has this same dynamic. Originally the ex kept providing because they had kids together and so when child support wasn’t enough, because she and her new husband were broke. But kids are now grown, child support ended but they are so used to their dynamic, she keeps calling her ex. He tries to resist, she guilts, cries and begs. He helps ‘one last time’; and the cycle repeats
Wouldn’t be surprised if she’s lying about her current husband’s affairs to him just to get money from her ex…
I can identify with his situation. There’s probably some guilt from when they were together some things that weren’t done right so now he feels this is his way to make up, to show that he is a good person as he says, but that is very unhealthy for all involved and it’s so hard to make the change. I really hope he can for his own well-being.
This is a simple and easy solution. He need to stop being a fool and giving his ex money because that’s the only thing she wants from him is money.
He didn't remember those commercials from the 90s...
Ayyy yayy yayyy eee.. JUST SAY NO!
Sounds like she found a keeper in her new man, let her go, she gets what she deserves.
He dodged a bullet - now she is sick.
He’s allowing her to disrespect hom
This man is exhibiting weak character and badly enabling both this woman and his adult daughter…..time to put your foot down and force people to grow up!
What a disastrous situation. The daughter picked up the behavior of the mother. It is to late for them, is going to take probably 10 years for the daughter to change her behaviors. There is no hope for the mother.
Yep, that guy should stay away from that mess.
I think the guy is fibbing about one thing. I don't think he simply cares for her or feels sorry for her. I think he still loves her even though she left him. For those that just want to insult him, it's not that uncommon and I feel for him.
But he needs to move on. He may even need to move away to break away from this.
Block your ex.
John is gonna ask if the callers EX is Safe..
Plot twist: 2:29 Jade actually did! 😂
Did not expect Jade to take the mantle on this one 😂
@@flashthecorgi2053 rotflol
How is asking if someone is safe a problem? God bless you John for doing the right thing.
@@andromeda1439 yes, and he only does it when it’s super necessary and he’s really scared for someone.
It is not his problem! Delete her from your life!
They’ll always tell you to get married on this show but then these calls go right over their heads. Guess what, marriage isn’t the answer for everyone (shocker)
And I'm the bad guy for demanding a prenup in my previous engagement
This has nothing to do with a prenup. She is asking for money after the divorce and he's not legally bound to that.
If only they had it in writing
You are enabling their bad behavior by keep giving them money. Stop giving them money. Has their situation improved in the last 10 years, no. The new guy is still on the sofa, the ex is still asking for money. The daughter needs to move out. They are all adults and need a reality check. Don’t giving them money ever again.
Hard truth…..this is beyond ridiculous!
education is important
He won’t stop. He’s not quite right is he.
This sounds like a whole lot of stuff that is not this guy's problem. 🤷♂️🤦♂️
Block that woman or change your number please.
Exactly, problem solved
Saying "NO" is something you learn as a child. How people unlearn that and let someone trample all over themselves is a mystery to me. This man sounds desperate to be loved by someone who doesn't love him back. What a horrible place to be. Move on, man....find someone to love that'll love you back!!
It ain't easy, being a simp.
The person scanning the calls must have found this funny.
He wont be able to cut them off on his own😮
No -and you given her the money?😮
Daughter is 28 and living with Mama this guy. Unfortunately I don't think has respect for himself. His ex-wife probably never really loved him. Got a baby with him and she left him. Got a new husband but she's always telling him about her problems because he's always been the safe person that would give her what she needed but not what she really wanted and he's just never figured it out unfortunately. This sucks
Time to rewatch Talladega Nights.
If you aint first you're last
She's your ex. She doesn't get money from you. Period.
Zero chance he stops