"Engaged for 8 years".....someone can't face reality. No, you weren't engaged. Engagement is a period of time when you are getting ready for a marriage. You were never going to get married. If you are not married, you don't get the rights and privileges of marriage. "Common law" marriage IS NOT just living together.
When are we going to get over this cultural fodder called marriage. It seems so silly. Like spending $30k on a wedding ceremony and reception The only privilege you can as a married couple is Social Security is carried over to the surviving spouse
Agree. I’m a married SAHM, which is 100% NOT the same thing as living with your boyfriend and him paying for your entire life. She’s a fool, and now she wants his assets. I’m not saying he’s a good guy, but she went along with it. She is SINGLE. He is SINGLE.
Yeah - whats interesting is how these two hosts are making the dude out to be the bad guy. These two got themselves into this place *together*. She should have had this conversation with him over 7 years ago. Why always make the guy out to be the nefarious one? Maybe she didn't want the commitment either?
Which is fair. They are not married, and his youngest baby momma has taken advantage of the situation to not work. They are both the same type of person, but of course John always acts like these women couldn’t possibly be opportunistic. If they were married, it is a completely different scenario.
@@deirdrekiely6187 I’m a SAHM... so that is not how I feel. But perhaps YOU are acting like this guy completely supporting his kid, her, AND her children with another man “has zero value”. This woman is 100% an opportunistic parasite.
@@SF-bh7rdTaking care of a infant/toddler 24 7 is hard work. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a 🤡. That is exactly why I don’t have any kids. Their daughter is 8 which means for the first five years she had her all day long. I subtract 5 years. I have friends and family who were working mothers for awhile then had to quit and go back on the kids started kindergarten. If she had been working then they would have likely had to have been paying someone to watch the kid. So her staying home until kindergarten also benefited him.
Yes, she made horrible choices. The problem is it won't just be her facing the consequences of being plunged into poverty after a breakup, but also her innocent child. The taxpayer is going to have to fill the gap that should have been covered by the spouse, providing financial aid to this woman and her kid and government funded retirement support. Even if she gets a job today, she likely won't be earning enough to cover everything herself, and she hasn't been making retirement contributions this whole time. So it's not just her that's screwed, but we the taxpayers as well. We all benefit from trying to guide people so that they don't make these mistakes, I'm glad the show is shining a light on this issue.
In CO, they could see you as being common law married from the first day you are living together, depending on what the court decides to look at. The fact that she did not work during the relationship is going to be the largest negative against her in court. They may see her situation as she was paid with room and board with her other 2 kids during the relationship and would not be eligible to any of the assets he has acquired during their relationship. Moral of the story, never let yourself become financially dependent on another person.
This is why I am generally in favour of Common Law, but I think it tends to go into effect way too early. In many places it is after 24 months of living together. However, the dating to marriage process takes longer than 24 months nowadays. I think 48-60 months would be fair. 4-5 years of living together in a relationship is basically an unofficial marriage. 2 years is nowhere near enough time.
@@barnabusdoyle4930”never let yourself become financially dependent on another person” so you’re against stay at home moms? That’s the ideal family unit and the best way to structure society
So... Michele and her 2 teenage kids from a previous marriage have had a sugar daddy for 8 years. Her child with the sugar daddy is in grade school, but she still doesn't work. She will be losing child support for the two teenage children soon. She just turned 50 and realizes that she has nothing of her own. John is making the dad out to be the bad guy, but it's pretty clear that what Michele actually wants is to make sure she will always have this sweet life where she never needs to work.
🎯 She’s an opportunistic parasite. I’m a wife and SAHM - but we are a family. This woman lets her boyfriend support her and her two kids that aren’t his.... and now she wants to leave him and take his assets. She can say it in a way that makes her seem innocent - but she isn’t. This is conniving.
OH MY GOODNESS??? Why do we always blame men in these circumstances. She got with him when she was around 40 years old. Had a baby-unmarried. Stayed with him. And now we blame him??? REALLY???? Where is her accountability in all this? If we do not make women responsible in these situations, there will be more fatherless children, and women will continue making these foolish decisions. 😡😡😡😡😡😡
Not about blame. This man has a live in slave. She is working for free. * Her life, her choice and she is right she may have to start from scratch at 50.
She is not a victim! She voluntarily gave a man she wasn't married to financial control of her life so she could stay at home and be carefree for 8 years! She's only worried now because she turned 50.
Hmmmm so when she was 42 she was happy to have a good man with money providing for her so she could stay home... doesn't need to work... totally disagree with what this Ramsay guy is saying. Imagine if the guy had no money she would be working and not worried at all about taking his stuff.
Fifty is a normal time for people to start thinking about the second half of their life. So much so it is called a midlife crisis time and has all kinds of tropes like busty secretaries and red sports cars. Also, have you ever heard of the seven year itch? They are right on time. Finally, I bet the man isn’t only a control freak about money. She probably is getting tired of the secrecy and tyranny in other areas of their relationship too.
Her call to the show, demonstrate her complete and utter cluelessness. She NEVER showed any interest in her husband's investments, and she needs not expect spit!
She doesn’t have a husband, she is living with her boyfriend (because they really aren’t “engaged”), and he has paid for her. She doesn’t deserve his assets, even though he’s clear,y not a great guy - she chose it.
But if her piece of clothing in his house then she lived there she might be entitled for something if she can show proof of how many years she live there and clean the house etc,
Exactly. I noticed this about many content creators. People follow these creators regularly but the messages seem to go right over their heads. Why watch if you aren't going to internalize any of the advice?
This is why I’m not impressed by women finding men that takes care of them and they let them be stay at home whatever. She found someone to take care of her and her kids from a previous relationship, have his kid, voluntarily not work with an 8yr old who should be in school and stay a fiancé for 8 years and complain that you aren’t involved. You didn’t seem to want to be involved. This is completely on this lady. There’s no way I would sign up for this.
Because she doesn’t want to be involved she just wants to be entitled to his money. It’s that simple, she now feels worthless but she should’ve felt that way before she had a kid for a man who didn’t marry her. That’s her first mistake in a long line of mistakes
She knew what she was doing. She’s an opportunist, and now she is looking for an opportunity to take his assets when she leaves him. Don’t get me wrong, this guy’s a real piece of work too.
@@err845 I'll never be in this situation but its tough for me to see her not coming out with something of us since they have a 7-8 year old kid together and common law will be kicking in most likely. Doesnt mean I dont take the boy friends side thats busted his ass to create wealth but mothers seem to always have the upper hand.
Not defending the man, but John's advice of seeking an attorney and then approaching the partner is the nuclear option. Y'all need to talk, like 5 years ago. But yeah, there's really nothing left.
Jade's comment at the end about how men need to step up for their families. 1) we are only hearing from one side of the story. 2) the kids aren't his, and he is supporting them and her. 3) they aren't married. They are "pretending to play family," as Dave has put it. Yes, she should put herself in a better position and be in the loop. But attacking the man. He has options. Have you considered his life may be better if he were on his own not carrying 4 other people?
Sounds like he made the right choice. "if I were to leave this relationship.." Why on earth should he risk it all for someone who's asking this question because she doesn't get to grab half his stuff
"He is the primary breadwinner?" No, you just dont work! You just said so! That doesnt make him a breadwinner. Coming from a breadwinner woman, who just broke up with my slacker partner of 9 years, SHE is in the wrong here. I'd love to hear the mans perspective. Money isnt everything, but failing to give effort towards success is such a turn off.
So she’s just been mooching off him for 8 years while he provides for her and her kids? How can he be in the wrong here when she is just sitting around on her butt all day?
@laundrygoddess4 you are not a lawyer and there is more to common law than just living togethor. Stop trying to make legal distinctions that you are not qualified to make because you need a license to do that here in texas.
@@laundrygoddess4got news for you. Common law is not what you think it is when it comes to splitting assets. He did manage things in a smart way. I live in a common law states AND recently a neighbor of mine was with her boyfriend for more than 20yrs in the same house. Technically common law marriage right? Well guess what? She doesn’t live in that house anymore because his daughter inherited it as his next of kin upon him passing away. He died intestate, no will, and law said she got zip…zero….NADA!
@@HelloWorld-hb7yt Women don't *always lose*. Don't be dumb. The vast majority of divorces are initiated by women, and if they have a kid they can be the party at fault, take the kids, and take half the money.
Engaged for 8 years? Of course he hasn't put her name on his assets. To him, she's only his shack-up baby-mama. She has set a terrible example for her children.
Yep women need to be accountable. She made this mess & this how we are getting higher fatherless rates across American society. End the fatherless epidemic. 👊🔥
Both men and women need to be held accountable. The problem is that a growing number of men are refusing marriage, for multiple reasons including being too low earning to support a family and because it's culturally acceptable now not to, but they're still having sex and fathering children. Women can be celibate without a ring to try and manipulate a few of them to propose, but the main result is that we'll just have far fewer babies born. If you want to know what that looks like, look at South Korea where single motherhood is basically outlawed. The result isn't an increase in marriages or children born to married parents, their birthrate has just fallen off a cliff. That's kinda good for the environment, but if it happens that quickly the economy and global stability are shattered. Governments have a vested interest in convincing more men and women to get married and start stable families.
I wish I'd seen this when it was first posted so I can comment then. This man didn't want a wife, spouse, or life partner. He wanted an all-in-one housekeeper, nanny, and bedwarmer, and he got one for the cost of her room and board. People, don't let anyone do this to you.
@@joannaa.5101i hope he doesn't get raked over the coals. She's NOT entitled to any significant portion of his wealth. She already got an 8 year free ride and didn't have to work.
Geez. Caller should be worried about her future. Engaged for 8 years? No. You aren't engaged. You are screwed over and are right to feel insecure. See a lawyer.
I don't see how she was screwed over, the guy provided for her, as well as her two children from a previous marriage for 8 years, how is that not a good deal?
See a lawyer is terrible advice. Literally all he is going to tell her is "you are not married, get married, or you get nothing if you split. Now pay me."
Don't see how she was screwed over. She decided to have a child outside of marriage and doesn't seem like she wanted to be married cause 8 years is crazy
I don't really see what a lawyer can do other than explain how much child support she could expect after a breakup, she isn't legally entitled to these assets or alimony because she never got married. What she should really do is get a career counselor and start working full time, building some assets in her own name. If her goal is marriage, she should move out and go find someone who also wants marriage, because her boyfriend has demonstrated that he isn't interested. Whether she stays with the boyfriend, moves out and stays single, or partners with a different man, a full time career is the best thing she can do for her kids and her own retirement at this point.
The only fault of the man is that he is not being transparent with his "fiance". The Ramsey team teaches that nothing should be combined until you are actually married, so it makes sense for the house and cars to be in the man's name especially since he payed for it. She put herself in a vulnerable situation. Also, she didnt mention if she brought up any concerns to her "fiance". How would he know what she is feeling if it wasnt discussed with him? Her kids should be old enough to where she can work and start building for herself. She can be a housewife after she get married.
I'm all for people being stay at home parents when they can afford it, but at this point she really can't afford it even if she gets married today. Say she marries this guy and then they divorce five years from now, she won't be entitled to alimony or even half the assets they accrued in those five years of marriage, much less any assets during the time that they shacked up. How the hell will she retire? Most divorced 50/60-something women who were stay at home moms are only qualified to work minimum wage retail, it's way too late to save for retirement at that point, she'll be working until she physically collapses into extreme poverty. It's pretty bleak, I get why she's freaking out, but the only path forward now (married or cohabitating or single) is for her to get a full time career and work as hard as she can over the next 20 years. Even marriage can't offer her sufficient financial protection at this phase of her life.
She’s talking like someone who wants to leave but can’t take anything with her. Because she literally said what if I leave him, I can’t take anything. Saying someone takes care of you but your names not on shit is not a reason to break up. Guys rarely initiate divorce so what’s her fear
True! I like Jade, but I have to chock this up to today being one of her "off" days. I like how this woman puts herself in a precarious situation legally and then Jade blames the boyfriend, who put himself in a safe position legally, as being the bad actor. I don't follow that logic. The advice is non-advice and don't address the root issue. This woman does not having enough self-respect or boundaries. Life for her is going to be very hard unless she learns to develop them.
@@GigaChad_169 They refuse to be tough on unmarried moms for some reason. I think they're worried they'll get accused of being misogynist or something and women won't want to call in any more if they're too tough on them.
@@SF-bh7rd Telling women hard truths isn't advertiser friendly. 70% of household purchasing decisions are made by women. Is it any wonder that TV in general is basically a ego stroking exercise for women? They're getting people to open their purses by making them feel good about themselves, deserved or not. It's manipulative and dangerous.
She’s in a relationship she has zero control over. He could throw her out at any point and never marry her. After eight years if he’s not committed, he probably won’t be. I feel their opinion on this call is correct. There is no relationship.
Man I'd love to hear both sides of this story. It sounds like they both agreed for her to stay home. But... what if she just chose not to work... and he started to realize how lazy of a person she was... and not to mention financially taking care of her other kids. Plus somewhere in the middle of her explanation she asked "if i were to leave"... basically what would i get? Maybe she's cheating on him and wants to know what she can get. Who knows?
John come on man. He gave her a home to her two kids not only that. She was one of the few lucky woman to be able to stay home and be a stay home mom. The only reason she is worried is because she wants to leave. She wants to leave. But if she didn’t want to leave he wouldn’t be abusive she be ok staying home.
@@PInk77W1 I heard of a case in Canada. The guy millionaire had a girlfriend for 10 or 15 years. They didn’t lot live together so he was smart. When they broke up the court made him pay 50k per month. Some bull reason about making it fare but not legal grounds to speak off.
I love Jade but if she wants us to "get in line" and "love our family better" then women need to stop sleeping with everybody and shacking up with guys for 8 years knowing he'll never commit. They never call that out.
He wasn’t dating her though, she was in behaving in every way like his wife. Had his baby, kept his house, etc. Dating implies that they only saw her periodically, not every day in the same house. Dude also sucks, he’s totally controlling her
@@Sizukun1 the law disagrees with you. Community assets. But that's not applicable to this situation. Or it might be, depending on common-law in their area.
Not a peep about how the first marriage ended. Did her fiance start out as an affair partner? Did she leave her husband to shack up with a more wealthy man? If not then she did well as a single mom to land a guy to take her and her kids in and support them. Also no mention of alimony or child support from hubby. Alimony would be one reason SHE might not have wanted to get married. Also, if her older children are aging out of the child support terms, her source of income could be drying up and that could add to her financial anxiety..
Right. Was she a housewife who hadn't worked outside the home during her 20s and 30s? Then upgrade husband was wise enough not to marry her? I'd love to hear her man's side of the situation.
I love at the end of the video, Jade says “ I need these guys to get in line, love their families well and do better.” A single mom of two, shacks up with a successful guy who has…(5?) houses and she has a kid with him, doesn’t work at all, but it’s the guys fault to do better? He’s a very smart man and she’s a typical modern woman with no thoughts in her tiny brain
Did you even watch the video? He owned 1 house previous and acquired 2 others after they were together. Your misogyny is blinding your brain and making you appear stupid.
If you are not married, you’re not entitled to have your name on anything. The disrespect here is wild, that man has also funded two other kids that aren’t his. And he’s going to wake up to a lawyer seeking everything he has because this woman didn’t want to work for 10+ years. Wild
What if he proposed to her but has constantly postponed the marriage. 8 years is a long f-ing time. She also mentioned that they both agreed that she should stay at home to take care for the kids. And don’t underestimate what it means to take care of kids because that in itself is a full time job. So now she’s not married. She can’t purchase any assets or belongings w/o going through him because he makes the money. She may not be perfect but it’s ridiculous to think that she isn’t entitled to anything. Especially when she mentions that he withholds financial info from her. It’s disgusting behavior and she deserves whatever she can get.
Since women instigate 80% of divorces. Yeah f her. F the bullshit. U can smell it from here. I don’t hear her complain him supporting some other dudes kids.
Men like you need therapy. You hate women and shit on them at every opportunity. Yet the majority of single parents are mothers, because dead beat dads don't man up.@@jecrpalier
Women are always strong and independent until its time to take accountability for their actions. SHE chose to stay in this relationship for 8 years and hand over all the power and responsibility to him. Now she just wants to get paid for her efforts when he never signed up.
You mean working outside the home? They is still work to be done at home. Managing a home is a job. But to your question...To raise children or perhaps her husband would like to be the sole provider. Honestly there are myriads of reasons why.
She's crazy. You're not married and own's nothing. Get a job and move out. He's probably going to leave as soon as she asks for anything. She has no money to get an attorney. They are ROOMMATES. End of story. Women, please wake up. We are doing this to ourselves. I'm scared for her.
Common law marriage law in Colorado as determined by the Supreme Court of Colorado: “A common law marriage is established by the *mutual consent* or agreement of the parties to be husband and wife, followed by a mutual and open assumption of a marital relationship.” It requires BOTH parties to agree that there is a common law marriage in place.
In this case it could be argued that they’re common law because they’re engaged and have been behaving like a married couple. Having a kid definitely helps the situation, especially since he convinced her to stay at home with the kid
It's interesting she's thinking about leaving him after 8-years of playing house There's no such thing as an "8-year engagement" that still has no date in sight. He's kept her and her kids out of his personal business purposely because she's allowed it for at least 8-years. Her situation has less to do with him and more with her (for allowing him to put her in this position for so long).
What is John even talking about? This is NOT a common law marriage even if they are in one of the few states that have it. She absolutely is legally entitled to nothing but child support for 1 child and should be worried. The very existence of "we are engaged" is likely designed by her boyfriend to be an admission so she can never allege that he agreed to a common law marriage, given she tells every potential witness in her life about it, and on national ratio. For common law marriage you both have to agreed to being married. Living together is not the trigger even if it's 100 years.
50 states have 50 different laws. It's not bad advice John provided which was seek legal help since he was unaware of the laws in that particular state.
Woman shacks up with a guy for 8 years has a kid with him and the Dr who is all well knowing in relationships and jade in money say it’s his fault. Come on guys if she was your daughter and doing this crap before marriage you would tell her this is exactly what you asked for with the decisions you made. John you are way too soft on women. At least Dave keeps it even and unbiased.
Horrible advice! They painted this man out to be a villain. Why? From what I understand from listening to the conversation. He is a good provider. The way a man shows he cares is to work hard and provide. She turned 50 last month and is feeling insecure about her future. She is concerned that if he decides to leave her. What will She have? She would have to start over. She would have to get a job. Rather than tell her to talk to her man about her insecurities and try to work something out. They blame the man and tell her it is all his fault! They Advise her to leave this man for all the wrong he has done her and her kids. The harm he did was to pay all her and her kids bills allowing her a comfortable lifestyle. They advise her to seek out a lawyer and to get all she can from this man. Wow! Then they close the show with. "These men be trippin!" "Men you need to get in line and love your families." "You need to do better." I was under the impression that if you provided for your family and loved them, that was a good thing. It seems that a man is always to blame. Especially if he provides for his family without marrying her. When she is living in an apartment with her three kids. Getting child support from this man for 1 kid. Having to get a job. Will her life be better? Being 50 with 3 young kids from different daddies. Please do not make the same mistake and find some horrible, controlling, power trippin man to pay all your bills. You are strong and independent woman. You got this! You go and buy your own car. You make the car payments. You go and get your own phone. You pay the phone bills. You go buy your own house and you make the mortgage payments. The car will drive better because your name will be on the title. Your house will keep the rain off your head better, because your name will be on the title. But most important, you will not have to be a poor helpless victim any longer. No man is gonna keep you down by paying all your bills.
The only thing I think he is in the wrong for is not being transparent about where and how the money is spent since they are supposed to be partners in the household. Also we don’t know if her ex pays child support so we shouldn’t assume he has all of the financial responsibility for supporting her children.
So you should not cohabitate until you’re married. Should not be having sex until you’re married. Avoids lots of confusion. She wouldn’t have had the kid together or waited 8 years hoping for something to happen. He wouldn’t have waited that long either.
For common law to kick in, both parties have to agree that they are married- it's not a time together thing. By her own admittance they are not married. I feel like she got knocked up unexpectedly so she says they are engaged and he never said otherwise.
Hmm, you want to live the life of a married person. Okay, be the kind of person that the kind of person you want to marry would marry. Then maybe someone who is looking for someone to marry will choose you.
She’s just worried that he will leave first and she won’t have a free ride any more. Probably a lot more difficult to find someone to pay all your bills when you are over 50. Wah wah.
I went through something similar. You can’t demand that a man put your name on stuff and put you in the will. When you make demands, it makes things worse. You’re being strung along and used. You can hope things progress, but they usually don’t.
So he builds wealth while intentionally keeping her from building wealth. You two are AHs and should never have children or care for anyone and be alone for the rest of your lives, because you don't know how to be in relationships.
She was NOT trying to play him. She had his child and was *waiting for a RING* while he kept her at arms length. She was naive and obviously has low self-esteem so she puts up with crumbs.
He also said that the state she lives practices common law. So she may be entitled to something, depending on what the law states that’s why he advised her to get a lawyer.
It is possible that she might be entitled to a portion of property under a theory of equitable distribution, but she won’t be as well off as if she were actually married. This will depend on Colorado family law.
Colorado’s common-law marriage has no time attached to it. If they both have not agreed to a common law marriage the state will not recognize it. Which means she will get nothing but child support.
He he was definitely not going to buy a house with someone he is not married to. On the other hand I feel it's too easy to judge by hearing only one side of the story without hearing the other side . Let's.not forget that she has not been working for the last 8 years and HE has been providing for both her and her sons. She specifically said that it was both agreed that she was going to be a stay-at-home mom and he was not obliged to support her by the law . she was living there rent-free he was paying all the bills and he was working and from his own reasons he didn't want to buy a house with someone he is married to. I'm not trying to say that he's wrong or she's wrong, it just seems more complicated.
Both of these folks are "at fault." There is a lack of communication and honesty about what each needs and wants. He should have told her long ago, "I do not want to marry you." She should have thought about the future and the serious relationship issues years ago. Seems they bypassed conversations about finances entirely. And they both owe more to the 5 children they have between them - more stability, security, joy; better role models for healthy relationships.
As a man, I’m not marrying a woman that isn’t the mother of my children. That said, if I were a woman, I wouldn’t stop working and become completely financially dependent on a man unless we were married. In the caller’s situation, since they have a kid together, he owes her financial security and she should not have put up with this for so long.
I completely agree. It sounds like she got comfortable and cozy real fast. She has an 8 year old child with this man, but didn’t take the necessary precautions to make sure that she and her child would be okay if something happened to him.
Everybody on the show just lost their mind.. we are talking about 50 year old WOMAN that decided to play the house less than 9 years ago (with already 2 kids) and decided somehow that she deserved half of that man life work..? WTH?? And you guys don’t make her accountable? She was not supposed to take care of her retirement while she was I don’t know… 20s or 30s…?
Dr John is incorrect here. Common law marriage is not just cohabitation. Cohabitation is just one element of a common law marital relationship. Although many factors come into play, the key issue here is holding out to the community, and to one another, as husband and wife……based on the call we have far from enough information to make that determination. But based on the nature of the relationship described, it sounds that it was far from a marriage.
I believe the term is "Gilded cage". I don't know what divorce law is in Colorado, but I'm going to pretend that it's the same as it is in Texas for a minute. If you can "divorce" (him meaning you can get your history together recognized as a common law marriage) in Texas that means you get half of what you've accrued in the time you've been together... NOT what he had when the relationship started. So if you moved into his house, you don't get any of it.
Perfect example of when Dave says to stop playing house.
she was pretending to be married and now she woke up to real facts of life.
"Engaged for 8 years".....someone can't face reality. No, you weren't engaged. Engagement is a period of time when you are getting ready for a marriage. You were never going to get married. If you are not married, you don't get the rights and privileges of marriage. "Common law" marriage IS NOT just living together.
In Canada, Common law is pretty much marriage. Quebec, not so much, but they like to be special.
Is that your opinion or the legal definition of common law marriage?
Live under a common roof
hold yourself out to others as Married.
No reason why you could not be married.
There's nothing in her name for a reason 😂
When are we going to get over this cultural fodder called marriage.
It seems so silly. Like spending $30k on a wedding ceremony and reception
The only privilege you can as a married couple is Social Security is carried over to the surviving spouse
Lady, get a job and start creating your own life.
That's what I think too.
Agree. I’m a married SAHM, which is 100% NOT the same thing as living with your boyfriend and him paying for your entire life. She’s a fool, and now she wants his assets. I’m not saying he’s a good guy, but she went along with it. She is SINGLE. He is SINGLE.
EXACTLY. We have to remember women are equal to men so she could’ve been building her own fortune instead of NOT WORKING AT ALL
@@Geo_mmm She's been raising children. That is a job believe me.
@@Geo_mmmAfter her child reached school age. Before that a lot of people are just working to pay for daycare.
8 year engagement?? No honey thats not how it's supposed to work. Wow, she really painted herself into a corner here.
Yeah - whats interesting is how these two hosts are making the dude out to be the bad guy.
These two got themselves into this place *together*. She should have had this conversation with him over 7 years ago.
Why always make the guy out to be the nefarious one? Maybe she didn't want the commitment either?
It's always the guys fault lol
Honey? Who are you? Dave Ramsey?
She IS going to start from the beginning . . At 50 she’s running out of time . . .
@@erc9468it's always the way with this show.
she isnt on the will. his kids are.
Which is fair. They are not married, and his youngest baby momma has taken advantage of the situation to not work. They are both the same type of person, but of course John always acts like these women couldn’t possibly be opportunistic. If they were married, it is a completely different scenario.
Yes that’s why they are not getting married ever!
@@katiejon17You act like taking care of THEIR child is of zero value.
@@deirdrekiely6187and she'd get child support for the kid they had together. He has no legal responsibility for anyone else.
@@deirdrekiely6187 I’m a SAHM... so that is not how I feel. But perhaps YOU are acting like this guy completely supporting his kid, her, AND her children with another man “has zero value”. This woman is 100% an opportunistic parasite.
Ladies, dont be dumb.
Yeah, don't expect anything, if you're just living with a dude, who's giving you everything!
She is not being dumb, she wants a free ride.
@@siegfriedbraun5447everything? What does she have? She has a kid, and that's it. Give your head a shake.
@@siegfriedbraun5447Just say you’re single and lonely, bro
@@OopThereItIs77777 is that something you find helpful? My wife frequents the pages I visit, so... 😂
something tells me she wasn't upset with the fact she didn't have to work the last 7 years with all bills being paid.
She wants out of the marriage now and so now she's worried about the finances 😂 I know that's cynical but everyone on here knows it's the abso truth 😊
@@SF-bh7rdTaking care of a infant/toddler 24 7 is hard work. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a 🤡. That is exactly why I don’t have any kids. Their daughter is 8 which means for the first five years she had her all day long. I subtract 5 years. I have friends and family who were working mothers for awhile then had to quit and go back on the kids started kindergarten. If she had been working then they would have likely had to have been paying someone to watch the kid. So her staying home until kindergarten also benefited him.
She mad her bed, now it’s time to lay in it.
She is not a victim. She made all the choices that brought her to where she is
Traded financial security for comfort.
I don't think she is mad at her bed. She didn't complain about back problems. Listen more carefully.
@@dudeorduuude5211A foam mattress would solve her issues though 🧠
She mad her bed? You shouldnt be mad at anything.
Yes, she made horrible choices. The problem is it won't just be her facing the consequences of being plunged into poverty after a breakup, but also her innocent child. The taxpayer is going to have to fill the gap that should have been covered by the spouse, providing financial aid to this woman and her kid and government funded retirement support. Even if she gets a job today, she likely won't be earning enough to cover everything herself, and she hasn't been making retirement contributions this whole time. So it's not just her that's screwed, but we the taxpayers as well. We all benefit from trying to guide people so that they don't make these mistakes, I'm glad the show is shining a light on this issue.
So she calls an attorney and he ends the engagement immediately. Know she has no place to live with 2 teens and an 8 year old to raise. Nice plan!
He doesn't have to know she talked with an attorney.
He can figure it out, phones are in his name.
I’m in Colorado, and no she’s not entitled to anything except child support. This woman is not wise, at all.
Old and stupid is no way to go through life.
@@alexomer9916 I’m from California A.K.A. the common law state lol
In CO, they could see you as being common law married from the first day you are living together, depending on what the court decides to look at. The fact that she did not work during the relationship is going to be the largest negative against her in court. They may see her situation as she was paid with room and board with her other 2 kids during the relationship and would not be eligible to any of the assets he has acquired during their relationship.
Moral of the story, never let yourself become financially dependent on another person.
This is why I am generally in favour of Common Law, but I think it tends to go into effect way too early. In many places it is after 24 months of living together. However, the dating to marriage process takes longer than 24 months nowadays. I think 48-60 months would be fair. 4-5 years of living together in a relationship is basically an unofficial marriage. 2 years is nowhere near enough time.
@@barnabusdoyle4930”never let yourself become financially dependent on another person” so you’re against stay at home moms? That’s the ideal family unit and the best way to structure society
So... Michele and her 2 teenage kids from a previous marriage have had a sugar daddy for 8 years. Her child with the sugar daddy is in grade school, but she still doesn't work. She will be losing child support for the two teenage children soon. She just turned 50 and realizes that she has nothing of her own. John is making the dad out to be the bad guy, but it's pretty clear that what Michele actually wants is to make sure she will always have this sweet life where she never needs to work.
Yep, yep, yep!
Exactly!
🎯
🎯
She’s an opportunistic parasite.
I’m a wife and SAHM - but we are a family.
This woman lets her boyfriend support her and her two kids that aren’t his.... and now she wants to leave him and take his assets.
She can say it in a way that makes her seem innocent - but she isn’t. This is conniving.
This is basically it.
Everybody wants a sugar daddy
until they realize nothings in their name 😂
Why did neither of them ask why haven’t gotten married?
It’s her fault why stay 8 years without a ring 💍?He isn’t going to marry you so just move on
@@err845 nothing wrong being single
She's engaged, so she got the ring. Just didn't get the marriage.
OH MY GOODNESS??? Why do we always blame men in these circumstances. She got with him when she was around 40 years old. Had a baby-unmarried. Stayed with him. And now we blame him??? REALLY???? Where is her accountability in all this? If we do not make women responsible in these situations, there will be more fatherless children, and women will continue making these foolish decisions. 😡😡😡😡😡😡
@@err845 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
The Ramsey show hates holding women accountable.
Other than wanting half his money when she leaves, I haven't heard much in this conversation that suggests he is not taking care of her and the baby.
Not about blame. This man has a live in slave. She is working for free. * Her life, her choice and she is right she may have to start from scratch at 50.
victim mindset
She is not a victim! She voluntarily gave a man she wasn't married to financial control of her life so she could stay at home and be carefree for 8 years! She's only worried now because she turned 50.
Exactly 💯
Facts.
Hmmmm so when she was 42 she was happy to have a good man with money providing for her so she could stay home... doesn't need to work... totally disagree with what this Ramsay guy is saying. Imagine if the guy had no money she would be working and not worried at all about taking his stuff.
@@gavinlocke5980she was also likely getting child support from the previous father.
Fifty is a normal time for people to start thinking about the second half of their life. So much so it is called a midlife crisis time and has all kinds of tropes like busty secretaries and red sports cars.
Also, have you ever heard of the seven year itch? They are right on time.
Finally, I bet the man isn’t only a control freak about money. She probably is getting tired of the secrecy and tyranny in other areas of their relationship too.
Her call to the show, demonstrate her complete and utter cluelessness. She NEVER showed any interest in her husband's investments, and she needs not expect spit!
She doesn’t have a husband, she is living with her boyfriend (because they really aren’t “engaged”), and he has paid for her. She doesn’t deserve his assets, even though he’s clear,y not a great guy - she chose it.
But if her piece of clothing in his house then she lived there she might be entitled for something if she can show proof of how many years she live there and clean the house etc,
Engaged 8 years and have kid - massive fail. Like do these people watch the show?
Exactly. I noticed this about many content creators. People follow these creators regularly but the messages seem to go right over their heads. Why watch if you aren't going to internalize any of the advice?
Women live on hope not reality when it comes to men. They have rose-colored glasses on.
Absolutely. The kid is 7 which means she had the child at 43. Stupid adult.
This is why I’m not impressed by women finding men that takes care of them and they let them be stay at home whatever. She found someone to take care of her and her kids from a previous relationship, have his kid, voluntarily not work with an 8yr old who should be in school and stay a fiancé for 8 years and complain that you aren’t involved. You didn’t seem to want to be involved. This is completely on this lady. There’s no way I would sign up for this.
Because she doesn’t want to be involved she just wants to be entitled to his money. It’s that simple, she now feels worthless but she should’ve felt that way before she had a kid for a man who didn’t marry her. That’s her first mistake in a long line of mistakes
She should have ended it after a year, staying around 8 years is her fault.
She knew what she was doing. She’s an opportunist, and now she is looking for an opportunity to take his assets when she leaves him. Don’t get me wrong, this guy’s a real piece of work too.
Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free!
Why buy the Pig, when all you want is sausage.
@@err845 Like long, big, and hard sausage
She wants more than the sausage but that's all she is getting, that's why she is mad😅 the pig doesn't want to be bought, just to sling some sausage
I think the court is gonna say
You bought the cow when u told her to stay home and I will pay u
so who exactly are we blaming? This situation is both their faults. She starts listing his assets with the hope she has ownership over some of them.
@@err845 I'll never be in this situation but its tough for me to see her not coming out with something of us since they have a 7-8 year old kid together and common law will be kicking in most likely. Doesnt mean I dont take the boy friends side thats busted his ass to create wealth but mothers seem to always have the upper hand.
Common law doesn’t “kick in”. You have to have both agreed to be married and presented to the world as married. Fiancé just gets kicked to the curb
Not defending the man, but John's advice of seeking an attorney and then approaching the partner is the nuclear option. Y'all need to talk, like 5 years ago. But yeah, there's really nothing left.
Being engaged for 8 yrs tells you all you need to know about this guy, and you!
Jade's comment at the end about how men need to step up for their families.
1) we are only hearing from one side of the story.
2) the kids aren't his, and he is supporting them and her.
3) they aren't married. They are "pretending to play family," as Dave has put it.
Yes, she should put herself in a better position and be in the loop. But attacking the man. He has options. Have you considered his life may be better if he were on his own not carrying 4 other people?
8 year engagement 😂 I said NOPE in the first 30 seconds
I see why he didn't marry her. He has far too much to lose. Only thing she's gonna get is child support.
The fact that she's asking this shows she's either she wants to leave or he does. Most likely him since she has absolutely nothing going for her.
@jeffb.4800 I guess the child is an afterthought.
Sounds like he made the right choice.
"if I were to leave this relationship.."
Why on earth should he risk it all for someone who's asking this question because she doesn't get to grab half his stuff
"He is the primary breadwinner?"
No, you just dont work! You just said so! That doesnt make him a breadwinner.
Coming from a breadwinner woman, who just broke up with my slacker partner of 9 years, SHE is in the wrong here.
I'd love to hear the mans perspective.
Money isnt everything, but failing to give effort towards success is such a turn off.
So, he should pay her retroactively for the full cost of housework and childcare for the past 8 years.
Sorry but if you didn’t pay for the assets then you’re not entitled to anything
She put herself in this situation and now cries foul. Wake up.
She is getting paid by him.
So he agree to the situation.
So when she leaves
The court will say he has
To keep paying.
So she’s just been mooching off him for 8 years while he provides for her and her kids? How can he be in the wrong here when she is just sitting around on her butt all day?
Smart man. He protected himself from this bloodsucker. If she doesnt like that she shouldnt have shacked up with him outside of marriage.
He shacked up too then said stay home. Everyone judging her... He did the same thing. Judge him too
@laundrygoddess4 he isn't the one demanding the pay out. This chick ain't married and thinks she is entitled to his assets. She is not.
@@alrbredwall common law state... Yes she is. Look it up
@laundrygoddess4 you are not a lawyer and there is more to common law than just living togethor. Stop trying to make legal distinctions that you are not qualified to make because you need a license to do that here in texas.
@@laundrygoddess4got news for you. Common law is not what you think it is when it comes to splitting assets. He did manage things in a smart way. I live in a common law states AND recently a neighbor of mine was with her boyfriend for more than 20yrs in the same house. Technically common law marriage right? Well guess what? She doesn’t live in that house anymore because his daughter inherited it as his next of kin upon him passing away. He died intestate, no will, and law said she got zip…zero….NADA!
She traded being equal for getting a free ride. One can't have both.
women always in a lose lose when in a relationship, especially if she carries a kid. That's why the law is trying to help out the women more.
Smart man not marrying her she would already left take half now she get nothing
@@HelloWorld-hb7yt
Women don't *always lose*. Don't be dumb. The vast majority of divorces are initiated by women, and if they have a kid they can be the party at fault, take the kids, and take half the money.
Cooking, cleaning, making his baby, laundry, scrubbing floors, toilets, dirty diapers, ... plus more, is a free ride????
@@BJD-d6tHow many single mothers do all of that plus hold down a full time job?
This relationship might be fine, but this fear might wreck it. She'll get a lawyer and give him an ultimatum, and that's when she loses him
I’d shake her hand, say it’s been fun and help her start packing
So you had a man financially support you and your (not his) children for 8 years and now you want to leave and you think HE owes YOU something?
And he had an unpaid cook, housekeeper, and nanny for the past 8 years.
@@yelenaangeleski3354unpaid? Free place to live, free food, free everything for 8 years lmfao feminist clown.
Engaged for 8 years? Of course he hasn't put her name on his assets. To him, she's only his shack-up baby-mama. She has set a terrible example for her children.
And he hasn't? 😅
Yep women need to be accountable. She made this mess & this how we are getting higher fatherless rates across American society. End the fatherless epidemic. 👊🔥
Fatherless epidemic?? He could put a ring on it!!!
No accountability expected from him? They are both to blame but people keep focusing on her bad decisions.
Both men and women need to be held accountable. The problem is that a growing number of men are refusing marriage, for multiple reasons including being too low earning to support a family and because it's culturally acceptable now not to, but they're still having sex and fathering children. Women can be celibate without a ring to try and manipulate a few of them to propose, but the main result is that we'll just have far fewer babies born. If you want to know what that looks like, look at South Korea where single motherhood is basically outlawed. The result isn't an increase in marriages or children born to married parents, their birthrate has just fallen off a cliff. That's kinda good for the environment, but if it happens that quickly the economy and global stability are shattered. Governments have a vested interest in convincing more men and women to get married and start stable families.
No you are not entitled to anything. You are not married. You are just entitled to child support.
Yes and only of the child that her and him created not of her kids that from another marriage
@@motoryzen Of course only 1.
@@motoryzendefinitely
Perhaps back pay - slavery has been abolished in America.
@@clarifyingquestions Slavery? Relly?
I wish I'd seen this when it was first posted so I can comment then. This man didn't want a wife, spouse, or life partner. He wanted an all-in-one housekeeper, nanny, and bedwarmer, and he got one for the cost of her room and board. People, don't let anyone do this to you.
I know this sounds messed up, but I think this guy might've dodged a bullet. Wish I could hear his side of the story.
She lives in a common law state. Get some advice and set up child support.
Its funny, the woman does nothing, he already supports her bastard kids, and she wants something for free. Typical woman.
@@joannaa.5101i hope he doesn't get raked over the coals. She's NOT entitled to any significant portion of his wealth. She already got an 8 year free ride and didn't have to work.
@@err845
Exactly, not to mention that she brought along two kids from a previous marriage.
@@beaniemac
And don't forget the two kids she brought with her from a previous marriage.
Geez. Caller should be worried about her future. Engaged for 8 years? No. You aren't engaged. You are screwed over and are right to feel insecure. See a lawyer.
I don't see how she was screwed over, the guy provided for her, as well as her two children from a previous marriage for 8 years, how is that not a good deal?
See a lawyer is terrible advice. Literally all he is going to tell her is "you are not married, get married, or you get nothing if you split. Now pay me."
Don't see how she was screwed over. She decided to have a child outside of marriage and doesn't seem like she wanted to be married cause 8 years is crazy
I don't really see what a lawyer can do other than explain how much child support she could expect after a breakup, she isn't legally entitled to these assets or alimony because she never got married. What she should really do is get a career counselor and start working full time, building some assets in her own name. If her goal is marriage, she should move out and go find someone who also wants marriage, because her boyfriend has demonstrated that he isn't interested. Whether she stays with the boyfriend, moves out and stays single, or partners with a different man, a full time career is the best thing she can do for her kids and her own retirement at this point.
The only fault of the man is that he is not being transparent with his "fiance". The Ramsey team teaches that nothing should be combined until you are actually married, so it makes sense for the house and cars to be in the man's name especially since he payed for it. She put herself in a vulnerable situation. Also, she didnt mention if she brought up any concerns to her "fiance". How would he know what she is feeling if it wasnt discussed with him? Her kids should be old enough to where she can work and start building for herself. She can be a housewife after she get married.
I'm all for people being stay at home parents when they can afford it, but at this point she really can't afford it even if she gets married today. Say she marries this guy and then they divorce five years from now, she won't be entitled to alimony or even half the assets they accrued in those five years of marriage, much less any assets during the time that they shacked up. How the hell will she retire? Most divorced 50/60-something women who were stay at home moms are only qualified to work minimum wage retail, it's way too late to save for retirement at that point, she'll be working until she physically collapses into extreme poverty. It's pretty bleak, I get why she's freaking out, but the only path forward now (married or cohabitating or single) is for her to get a full time career and work as hard as she can over the next 20 years. Even marriage can't offer her sufficient financial protection at this phase of her life.
She’s talking like someone who wants to leave but can’t take anything with her. Because she literally said what if I leave him, I can’t take anything. Saying someone takes care of you but your names not on shit is not a reason to break up. Guys rarely initiate divorce so what’s her fear
Perhaps the fact that he is purposefully excluding her from everything. ie The Will. Usually when you have a gut feeling about something, it's right.
@@actuallyterry there probably is a good reason he excluded her. Maybe he had a gut feeling that turned up to be right.
She wont even be able to draw his social security.
Sometimes they just give out bad advice
True! I like Jade, but I have to chock this up to today being one of her "off" days. I like how this woman puts herself in a precarious situation legally and then Jade blames the boyfriend, who put himself in a safe position legally, as being the bad actor. I don't follow that logic. The advice is non-advice and don't address the root issue. This woman does not having enough self-respect or boundaries. Life for her is going to be very hard unless she learns to develop them.
@@GigaChad_169 They refuse to be tough on unmarried moms for some reason. I think they're worried they'll get accused of being misogynist or something and women won't want to call in any more if they're too tough on them.
@@SF-bh7rd Telling women hard truths isn't advertiser friendly. 70% of household purchasing decisions are made by women. Is it any wonder that TV in general is basically a ego stroking exercise for women? They're getting people to open their purses by making them feel good about themselves, deserved or not. It's manipulative and dangerous.
She’s in a relationship she has zero control over. He could throw her out at any point and never marry her. After eight years if he’s not committed, he probably won’t be. I feel their opinion on this call is correct. There is no relationship.
I think its transparent on what motives are. Money not how can i save the relationship but how much can i get.
Thinking about leaving and ALL OF A SUDDEN being interested in the finances is fishy.
Ever heard of the seven year itch? This couple is on time.
Not everything needs to be a conspiracy.
She was playing wife and it took her 8 years to finally realize that she was wasting time with him.
Man I'd love to hear both sides of this story. It sounds like they both agreed for her to stay home. But... what if she just chose not to work... and he started to realize how lazy of a person she was... and not to mention financially taking care of her other kids.
Plus somewhere in the middle of her explanation she asked "if i were to leave"... basically what would i get? Maybe she's cheating on him and wants to know what she can get. Who knows?
She wants to leave and most likely cheating but wants to make sure she gets one of the houses
John come on man. He gave her a home to her two kids not only that. She was one of the few lucky woman to be able to stay home and be a stay home mom. The only reason she is worried is because she wants to leave. She wants to leave. But if she didn’t want to leave he wouldn’t be abusive she be ok staying home.
My guess is, since he is paying for her everything, the court will say u already treat her like a wife, so keep paying for the rest of your life.
@@PInk77W1 I heard of a case in Canada. The guy millionaire had a girlfriend for 10 or 15 years. They didn’t lot live together so he was smart. When they broke up the court made him pay 50k per month. Some bull reason about making it fare but not legal grounds to speak off.
I would loooove to hear the guy's side. Michelle wanted a sugar daddy and she got one...whats wrong with the situation?
I love Jade but if she wants us to "get in line" and "love our family better" then women need to stop sleeping with everybody and shacking up with guys for 8 years knowing he'll never commit. They never call that out.
Someone is bitter. Just call yourself an incel and go.
@@jmrpco2001 Oh! Namecalling, I see we have a master debater here, watch out!!!!
@@jmrpco2001love the argument you're making there. 0/100
Women sleeping with everybody? So all women sleep with you? I mean if women are sleeping with everybody that includes you. 😅
@@jmrpco2001 I’m an ncel. Necessary celibate because of these walking, shouting, disease ridden zombies we call modern American women.
I always told my girls.. BE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU!
A codependent person is usually doomed!
This guy has made sure HIS kids are handled. Her kids will have to take care of themselves.
Neither of them are... Attorneys!!...how CAN..they give LEGAL....advice ⁉️⁉️⁉️.....
Neither are finance professionals and give advice on that every day 🤣🤣🤣
Keep👏🏻your👏🏻finances and assets 👏🏻separate 👏🏻
This is why men dont want to get married bc some/not all women think in terms of what can I get if I leave?
How much flak would shows get if they were advocating for men to extort money from women for dating them long term?
He wasn’t dating her though, she was in behaving in every way like his wife. Had his baby, kept his house, etc. Dating implies that they only saw her periodically, not every day in the same house. Dude also sucks, he’s totally controlling her
@@FancyRPGCanada Sorry, "wife" isn't a W2 taxable job. She shouldn't be getting any income for that.
@@Sizukun1 the law disagrees with you. Community assets. But that's not applicable to this situation. Or it might be, depending on common-law in their area.
Not a peep about how the first marriage ended. Did her fiance start out as an affair partner?
Did she leave her husband to shack up with a more wealthy man? If not then she did well as a single mom to land a guy to take her and her kids in and support them. Also no mention of alimony or child support from hubby. Alimony would be one reason SHE might not have wanted to get married. Also, if her older children are aging out of the child support terms, her source of income could be drying up and that could add to her financial anxiety..
Bingo
Right. Was she a housewife who hadn't worked outside the home during her 20s and 30s? Then upgrade husband was wise enough not to marry her? I'd love to hear her man's side of the situation.
I love at the end of the video, Jade says “ I need these guys to get in line, love their families well and do better.”
A single mom of two, shacks up with a successful guy who has…(5?) houses and she has a kid with him, doesn’t work at all, but it’s the guys fault to do better?
He’s a very smart man and she’s a typical modern woman with no thoughts in her tiny brain
exactly her pint he's too smart to have his integrity on opposite ends.
Did you even watch the video? He owned 1 house previous and acquired 2 others after they were together. Your misogyny is blinding your brain and making you appear stupid.
If you are not married, you’re not entitled to have your name on anything. The disrespect here is wild, that man has also funded two other kids that aren’t his. And he’s going to wake up to a lawyer seeking everything he has because this woman didn’t want to work for 10+ years. Wild
@@err845evil way of thinking…
What if he proposed to her but has constantly postponed the marriage. 8 years is a long f-ing time.
She also mentioned that they both agreed that she should stay at home to take care for the kids. And don’t underestimate what it means to take care of kids because that in itself is a full time job.
So now she’s not married. She can’t purchase any assets or belongings w/o going through him because he makes the money.
She may not be perfect but it’s ridiculous to think that she isn’t entitled to anything. Especially when she mentions that he withholds financial info from her. It’s disgusting behavior and she deserves whatever she can get.
Since women instigate 80% of divorces. Yeah f her. F the bullshit. U can smell it from here. I don’t hear her complain him supporting some other dudes kids.
Men like you need therapy. You hate women and shit on them at every opportunity. Yet the majority of single parents are mothers, because dead beat dads don't man up.@@jecrpalier
She worked by taking care of their child and cleaning up his mess.
Women are always strong and independent until its time to take accountability for their actions. SHE chose to stay in this relationship for 8 years and hand over all the power and responsibility to him. Now she just wants to get paid for her efforts when he never signed up.
Why do women just stop working? I will never understand this.
Human ATMs.
You mean working outside the home? They is still work to be done at home. Managing a home is a job. But to your question...To raise children or perhaps her husband would like to be the sole provider. Honestly there are myriads of reasons why.
Oh I don't know
maybe FAMILY
@@janelleg597don’t matter, you gotta take care of your family AND make money, especially if you aren’t married 😂😂
A housewife implies they are married. She's not married, so why does she think she's entitled to a housewife lifestyle? In her 40's none the less.
She's crazy. You're not married and own's nothing. Get a job and move out. He's probably going to leave as soon as she asks for anything. She has no money to get an attorney. They are ROOMMATES. End of story. Women, please wake up. We are doing this to ourselves. I'm scared for her.
Common law marriage law in Colorado as determined by the Supreme Court of Colorado: “A common law marriage is established by the *mutual consent* or agreement of the parties to be husband and wife, followed by a mutual and open assumption of a marital relationship.” It requires BOTH parties to agree that there is a common law marriage in place.
And she called him her “fiancé” on a nationally broadcasted show implying that even she agrees she’s not married.
In this case it could be argued that they’re common law because they’re engaged and have been behaving like a married couple. Having a kid definitely helps the situation, especially since he convinced her to stay at home with the kid
Engaged 8 years with a 7 year old. Sounds like they should have either divorced or married around that time. It's destined to fail.
It's interesting she's thinking about leaving him after 8-years of playing house
There's no such thing as an "8-year engagement" that still has no date in sight.
He's kept her and her kids out of his personal business purposely because she's allowed it for at least 8-years.
Her situation has less to do with him and more with her (for allowing him to put her in this position for so long).
She is tired of the marriage and wants out but also needs the money to 😢
Nope she didn’t work he worked for it she should not get it
She hit 50 and didnt 'turn a corner', she hit the wall!
And the wall ALWAYS wins.
The saddest part is that SHE’S NOT LEAVING HIM. She sounded so scared about her age and personal situation that I’m 100% sure she will just stay
What is John even talking about? This is NOT a common law marriage even if they are in one of the few states that have it. She absolutely is legally entitled to nothing but child support for 1 child and should be worried. The very existence of "we are engaged" is likely designed by her boyfriend to be an admission so she can never allege that he agreed to a common law marriage, given she tells every potential witness in her life about it, and on national ratio. For common law marriage you both have to agreed to being married. Living together is not the trigger even if it's 100 years.
50 states have 50 different laws. It's not bad advice John provided which was seek legal help since he was unaware of the laws in that particular state.
No. Where I am from you just have to live together for a year.
Woman shacks up with a guy for 8 years has a kid with him and the Dr who is all well knowing in relationships and jade in money say it’s his fault. Come on guys if she was your daughter and doing this crap before marriage you would tell her this is exactly what you asked for with the decisions you made. John you are way too soft on women. At least Dave keeps it even and unbiased.
Horrible advice! They painted this man out to be a villain. Why? From what I understand from listening to the conversation. He is a good provider. The way a man shows he cares is to work hard and provide. She turned 50 last month and is feeling insecure about her future. She is concerned that if he decides to leave her. What will She have? She would have to start over. She would have to get a job. Rather than tell her to talk to her man about her insecurities and try to work something out. They blame the man and tell her it is all his fault! They Advise her to leave this man for all the wrong he has done her and her kids. The harm he did was to pay all her and her kids bills allowing her a comfortable lifestyle. They advise her to seek out a lawyer and to get all she can from this man. Wow! Then they close the show with. "These men be trippin!" "Men you need to get in line and love your families." "You need to do better." I was under the impression that if you provided for your family and loved them, that was a good thing. It seems that a man is always to blame. Especially if he provides for his family without marrying her. When she is living in an apartment with her three kids. Getting child support from this man for 1 kid. Having to get a job. Will her life be better? Being 50 with 3 young kids from different daddies. Please do not make the same mistake and find some horrible, controlling, power trippin man to pay all your bills. You are strong and independent woman. You got this! You go and buy your own car. You make the car payments. You go and get your own phone. You pay the phone bills. You go buy your own house and you make the mortgage payments. The car will drive better because your name will be on the title. Your house will keep the rain off your head better, because your name will be on the title. But most important, you will not have to be a poor helpless victim any longer. No man is gonna keep you down by paying all your bills.
The only thing I think he is in the wrong for is not being transparent about where and how the money is spent since they are supposed to be partners in the household. Also we don’t know if her ex pays child support so we shouldn’t assume he has all of the financial responsibility for supporting her children.
I agree he’s been good so far. But not being open with her about the will Etc is worrying.
So you should not cohabitate until you’re married. Should not be having sex until you’re married. Avoids lots of confusion. She wouldn’t have had the kid together or waited 8 years hoping for something to happen. He wouldn’t have waited that long either.
For common law to kick in, both parties have to agree that they are married- it's not a time together thing. By her own admittance they are not married. I feel like she got knocked up unexpectedly so she says they are engaged and he never said otherwise.
What do you mean "stay at home mom" with a 7 year old? Isn't the kid at school during the day? Sounds like she just doesn't want to work.
Hmm, you want to live the life of a married person. Okay, be the kind of person that the kind of person you want to marry would marry. Then maybe someone who is looking for someone to marry will choose you.
She’s just worried that he will leave first and she won’t have a free ride any more. Probably a lot more difficult to find someone to pay all your bills when you are over 50. Wah wah.
I went through something similar. You can’t demand that a man put your name on stuff and put you in the will. When you make demands, it makes things worse. You’re being strung along and used. You can hope things progress, but they usually don’t.
John has it wrong here, unfortunately... This woman was trying to play the guy and take his stuff without being married. The guy was smart actually.
He most certainly was smart in this instance. She does get 11 years child support at least
So he builds wealth while intentionally keeping her from building wealth. You two are AHs and should never have children or care for anyone and be alone for the rest of your lives, because you don't know how to be in relationships.
She was NOT trying to play him. She had his child and was *waiting for a RING* while he kept her at arms length. She was naive and obviously has low self-esteem so she puts up with crumbs.
@@deirdrekiely6187 a 25 year old.. naive yes..but a 50 year old? I don't think so, I don't buy it.
Girl.... you're 50! Like wtf I'm in my 20s and know better
Waiting for Dave to pop up and say, "Paint or get off the ladder."
Why is John telling her to get a lawyer for? They are not married. She gets nothing.
Dr John is probably trying to steer her to a Ramsey sponsored attorney. Dave will most certainly get a taste of that fee.
He also said that the state she lives practices common law. So she may be entitled to something, depending on what the law states that’s why he advised her to get a lawyer.
Not true …..Common law state …2 kids…..
I could be wrong too, but I don't think she's entitled to anything other than custody of her own daughter.
What about your teenagers? Are they going into adulthood thinking this is how a marriage works? Get out.
You're not that girl, madam. There's no legal binding contract that entitles you to anything of his as his partner
If he told her to stay home and watch the kids. He’s in big $$$ trouble
I can see why he doesn't want to get married. Shes been living for free for 8 years and feels entitled to his stuff😢
It is possible that she might be entitled to a portion of property under a theory of equitable distribution, but she won’t be as well off as if she were actually married.
This will depend on Colorado family law.
Colorado’s common-law marriage has no time attached to it. If they both have not agreed to a common law marriage the state will not recognize it. Which means she will get nothing but child support.
He he was definitely not going to buy a house with someone he is not married to.
On the other hand I feel it's too easy to judge by hearing only one side of the story without hearing the other side .
Let's.not forget that she has not been working for the last 8 years and HE has been providing for both her and her sons.
She specifically said that it was both agreed that she was going to be a stay-at-home mom and he was not obliged to support her by the law .
she was living there rent-free he was paying all the bills and he was working and from his own reasons he didn't want to buy a house with someone he is married to.
I'm not trying to say that he's wrong or she's wrong, it just seems more complicated.
She needs to get married or find a job. She calls him her fiance, so it will hard to take him to court and claim common law marriage in Colorado.
This guy provided for her and two kids that werent his for almost 10 years and shes a victim here? The standard Deloney go to answer.
Shut up and be happy you're taken care of
Both of these folks are "at fault." There is a lack of communication and honesty about what each needs and wants. He should have told her long ago, "I do not want to marry you." She should have thought about the future and the serious relationship issues years ago. Seems they bypassed conversations about finances entirely. And they both owe more to the 5 children they have between them - more stability, security, joy; better role models for healthy relationships.
As a man, I’m not marrying a woman that isn’t the mother of my children. That said, if I were a woman, I wouldn’t stop working and become completely financially dependent on a man unless we were married. In the caller’s situation, since they have a kid together, he owes her financial security and she should not have put up with this for so long.
I completely agree. It sounds like she got comfortable and cozy real fast. She has an 8 year old child with this man, but didn’t take the necessary precautions to make sure that she and her child would be okay if something happened to him.
Everybody on the show just lost their mind.. we are talking about 50 year old WOMAN that decided to play the house less than 9 years ago (with already 2 kids) and decided somehow that she deserved half of that man life work..? WTH?? And you guys don’t make her accountable? She was not supposed to take care of her retirement while she was I don’t know… 20s or 30s…?
Dr John is incorrect here. Common law marriage is not just cohabitation. Cohabitation is just one element of a common law marital relationship. Although many factors come into play, the key issue here is holding out to the community, and to one another, as husband and wife……based on the call we have far from enough information to make that determination. But based on the nature of the relationship described, it sounds that it was far from a marriage.
I believe the term is "Gilded cage".
I don't know what divorce law is in Colorado, but I'm going to pretend that it's the same as it is in Texas for a minute. If you can "divorce" (him meaning you can get your history together recognized as a common law marriage) in Texas that means you get half of what you've accrued in the time you've been together... NOT what he had when the relationship started. So if you moved into his house, you don't get any of it.