Ummm yng man u went thru a lot.very bad situation .aaah i blame yr granny yr mom and yr other siblings.yr granny should hv continued looking after u and tell u the truth
I have never cried like this while watching a TV show because this gentleman literally just told my story word-for-word! This was just too much to take it because it meant getting in touch with my inner self, thank you for this episode!
(Romans 12:18). "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” The key words here are: "as far as it is possible" God shows us it is fine to exit toxic relationships. I did at the age of 40 after similar circumstances and not getting help from anybody that called themselves my relatives. I left all of them and found peace with my wife and children. Indeed God is the only father.
I had a father, and my character is strong because of him. My father was so good I wish that everyone can experience such. Yes he was poor and got messed up because my mother cheated and bore out of wedlock kids, my father ended up in prison and lost direction in life, but he was my pillar and build me to the person that I am today.
We need to celebrate men who have not abandoned their responsibilities. They serve as fuel to encourage others especially young men who are or will become fathers soon.
Your Story brought me tears my brother but I salute you listening to that voice from God your wife is a GIFT from God I wish you and your family love peace and happiness Sis Rea you bring us life stories thank you Sisi we love ❤ you
I've learned the hard way not to suppress my emotions and feelings as a sign of strength. Makunyiwa kuyanyiwa. I have went through a lot of issues that I knew existed but I kept on running away from them thinking they will disappear by occupying myself with busy schedules, chilling with people and dressing well,however, that has intensed my mental health and here I am, picking up pieces of my childhood experiences and traumas. Not every wound requires a bandage and not even injury requires requires stitches because if such is not treated accordingly, it will worsen and delay the process of healing!!
Same here. It took me years to come to grips with the fact that some things cannot be glossed over or wished away. It's important to confront the pain in order to heal. If it means moving on without individuals causing you pain.
'The only Father that l have ever had is God'....wooww this cuts so deep. Mother's can we always love and protect our kids. Let's choose our kids first no matter what. Thank you Relebogile for this episode and may God continue to bless and protect His son Sylvester.
I thought that i was going through alot because of raising my girl alone for over 16years but after listenining to this....iam so happy that i didn't let any man into our lives after leaving her violent biological father when she was six months of age!!! To this great Gentleman, take heart and God has heal you completely!
A person that acknowledges that their experiences negatively affected them but still takes responsibility for their actions and doesn't play victim. Amazing to see. Great show.
I can NEVER reconcile leaving my kids with people outside myself and their dad!!! I know many have little to no choice, trying to secure jobs and education... understandable! But no child should go through this...
There is so much healing that a lot of us Africans need, not just our own scars but generational scars too. Facing our demons /(our shadow selves) is the first step to healing...
I always believed and still believe there are good men out there. This is one of them... Well spoken, good values that he built for himself despite the challenges, a very strong willed and minded man. Cherry on top, he fears the Lord... 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
It's always good to be honest with children, paternity questions always affects the child at the end of the day, women a child should not question his or her paternity... Watching from kenya🇰🇪and loving the show,
I feel for everyone who has never experienced a loving father. My father passed when I was 10, but those 10 years were the best of my life. As mothers, please protect your children at all costs. No marriage is worth breaking your children.
Honestly one thing i have learnt from this interview is that your life really is in your hands... Im so inspired by this gentleman...thank you so much❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Yoo, this episode brought back past traumas. My dad did not like my personality and everything I did as a 7-9-year-old was never good for him. So being beaten and fearful of him become something I lived almost every day when he was around. I hated him so much that day he died, it was the best thing that happened to me, it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulder and up to this day. It's been 17 years now and I have never missed or wished he was part of my life. Thank you for this episode.Namibia.
We grew up sitting down too. But its because my parents just wanted the furniture to last them longer. They didn't have much and what they had they cherished. those sofas are still alive today. Vintage style. they just got them recovered and put them in their guest sitting room. Bought more comfortable sofas for the main sitting room and shame my kids jump on them eat on them and have painted them🤣 I realize that they had a lot goin on than too many expenses now they are free and more lenient
@@fragilehandlewithcare3967 My kids are leaving my wildest dreams of doing as they please and telling my dad to let them talk than he'll respond and not to talk over them. They are not even 5years old. As people age a lot makes sense
Wow this man is so real. This story is heart breaking but very educative. This story shows the African man n his true life . African men some of them should just love all children, I have never understood how a woman can have love for other children but men r almost very discriminative towards other children than belong to there wives. This woman was raped n the best thing the step father could’ve done is just to show this gentleman Love. It’s so hard. I’m from Kenya n this does not only happen to South Africans but in Africa as a whole!! Waaa wow . My love n prayer goes to him. Actually a lot of people who r abused don’t even know they r being abused because they even enable the abuser but with time they know n they get out. Wow this is huge! Our tradition as Africans affect a lot the way we treat our own children and step children. This gentleman is really a gentleman n strong he is. Difficult to say the least.
This episode gave me a new perspective to life, and to always be open and let God reign, Lebo continue the good work, you are opening so many eyes, be blessed girl
The honesty in this guy is such a great blessings to others. I applaud the emotional maturity of the wife 💯 because she truly loves & trust herself enough to heal her husband, GOD BLESS💕💕💕
My husband had a similar traumatic experience. This affected him and he also acted out in a similar manner. He also acted out at the age when the children were to these events in his life. He now has healed but cannot watch some movies, he cannot deal with emotional issues with children. This experience scars them for life. It like fine china glued together, their fractured life's are still a sensitive matter.
Oh madoda... intanga yam ithethile bethuna. Thanks so much Pastor Sir. I watched thiscwith my son although I am not married but I want him to understand that it's challenging to not have a dad. He is 10 years old now but I want him to know I'm with him each step...
Lebo thank you so much for stories you share with us that are life changing. Talking about his father he reminds of mind, the only difference with my father was that he was my biological father, I learned at very young age to be obedient so I won't be bitten plus we learned to be not around him even our visitors e.g cousin they visit 1 day and live the next day he will intimidate them so that they will live. We were not allowed to play, but during the day my mother will let us play but i have to stay inside watch my siblings playing so when he comes from work I call to come back and they will jump the fancy i will hide them and we lie saying we were doing our endless chores and garden at the back. I never felt his love ever. The last time he call me was 2011 when I started my internship. He was a pastor at church, in our home he was a monster, at church he was an angel. My mother finally left him last year December I can feel peace knowing that she out of that home even when she suffers with paranoid disorder herself I have chosen to distance myself and be around them on my own terms for my healing purpose. Narcissist do exist in South African home while keep on saying family is priority, my family just brought pain and anger. Narcissist will never change, he 67 years old he living the same way he was I was born. If I didn't seek therapy I wouldn't be where I am, suicide thoughts were ringing in my ears everyday which was extreme depression so I feel for child who still live with those kind of people who are heartless and they won't change.
I’m so sorry to hear about what you have gone through. Sending you love, strength and light. The things that are meant to harm us end up strengthening us. Your testimony will help many others who want to give up on life.
This story broke me, so many spanners thrown into it. Children ought to know that people are their step fathers, given the fact that mom was raped, this was just to hard. Her feeling unworthy, i also get it. Having said all this, if you are bringing the child into your marriage, choose them over marriage, it is a better option
Thank God for a life that turns out well despite so much adversity. The courage to take a hard and honest look at oneself and come clean gives true release. May he continued on a positive path in his journey of finding himself and healing.
This episode was not only about this gentleman but about alot of hurt people. His mother was raped by a person with power and she was not in a place to be there for him both emotionally and physically due to the trauma she faced, his stepfather who really could not love this innocent boy due to lack of attachment because he was not his and finally the gentleman due to his upbringing which he had no choice in. He looked looked love from people who had no capacity to give that love.Hurt people hurt people. Alot of us need alot of healing!
This episode neh... I am currently going through a similar situation. I found out through a friend who's a medium- so the person who i grew up thinking was my father is deceased. So she connected with him and the man did not recognize me, i was confused and i kept telling her to keep trying again to a point where he got really mad and left the room. Like Aus Lebo said to Slyvester somehow you always 'know' or get the feeling that you might not be related to that person, i felt the same, i have never been connected to the man I grew up thinking is my father. Mind you I am the last born in my family so all my siblings share a father and they have a relationship with that side of the family, i never did. Also my dad situation was kept a secret for me, everyone else knew that i wasn't that mans child. I remember clearly there's only been two incidents in my entire life where some family members dropped hints unintentionally and those always stuck up with me until the day my friend(medium) read me. It was basically a confirmation to all those hints. It took alot of guts for me to actually ask my mom about my father but i did and she confirmed everything. The truth was that I was even born way after my siblings' father passed away (4 yrs later). My real father is deceased as well but he only passed away in 2016. Real father didnt even know about me, he was married by the time i was conceived (and not to my mother) so according to my mother the reason she didnt tell him was because she didnt wana ruin his marriage, so he never knew i existed. All this is quite recent and i still dont know how to react/handle the situation. Also my mom does not want me to visit/find my real fathers family for reasons she does not wanna say, she just always comes up with excuses. This is starting to really affect me, at times i really wish to ignore the whole situation but i sometimes get weird dreams as well which i do not understand.
I can't this is just too much. I cannot believe that we truly have such human beings. I cried so much, God bless you my brother. Sending you love, light and healing.
The worst thing that could happen is when fate links with a person with abusers. The mother being raped, and getting married to a Narcissist husband who uses her very past to abuse her more. Making her believe that herself and the son couldn't not live without him. The man is even more twisted!! A series of abuse for the mom and a series of abuse and rejection for the boy, which started when being a product of rape and attracting more rapists. *genetic disposition*. Thank you Pastor for sharing your story, for being a father to many boys now, and for not faking reality. Much respect 🤝!!
Thank you. I have healed. I couldn’t tell this story in the past without crying uncontrollably. God does wonders when you let Him take over in complete surrender.
@@thesylvestermashilofoundat8564 Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. God works in miraculous ways. Having gone through so much adversity; here you are playing such a critical role in our society. Stay blessed.
Eish, as mothers we need to do more to protect our children. I feel like this gentleman's mother failed him. We need to pray to God to give us wisdom and humility to be able to raise our children in a way that makes them complete individuals with nurturing upbringing instead of raising them with wounds all over their psychological footprint. May be tough but it is necessary.
She too was a victim. She couldn’t provide the protection she never had. I believe she is broken and is need of healing. You can’t give what you don’t have.
This hits home. I have a brother that's living a lie too.. I want a relationship with him but his mother doesn't want him to know his biological father( which is my dad) and she's depriving me the opportunity to meet him and I dont want to be the one delivering the news that his current " known father" isn't actually his father... And I don't want to cause friction between him and his mother... This saddens me so much😭
Ask yourself this. Would he want to know the truth? I’m sorry to hear about your dilemma. I can’t tell you what to do but what I learned is that what stays in darkness always comes out. And secrets hold us prisoner.
@@thesylvestermashilofoundat8564His cousin told me my brother is suspecting as well so I'd like to think he does want to know the truth. Eish I cried all the way throughout your interview... My thing is I don't want to have a relationship with my brother and yet I'm the cause of " his relationship with his mom" being broken...
I respect and agree with the decision of not telling him yourself, no matter how much it hurts you. He will find out one day on his own, when he finally does your arms will be open to welcome him, it sounds like you're ready for him as a sibling, that's commendable. There are people who get rejected by their newly found siblings, I dont blame the ones who reject, they have their reasons. But big up to you for having a big heart. Maybe now you can just pray for him, hopefully he learns the truth soon.
Wow!!!What a heavy one Relebogile as a woman, I went through what he went through with my uncle,except the sexual abuse part.I never knew my father, mother is not willing to disclose that information,it hurts,however I am still in a journey of making peace with it.
There are so many lessons and take away(s) from this story, especially when it comes to raising a boy child. I thank you for sharing and teaching us so much. You grew up in dire circumstances BUT you still chose the path you want to walk as a man. Man like you are rare. God bless your family and your wife for seeing beyond your mistakes. Relebogile your doing such great work, keep it up! 💐
Forgive your stepfather and start treating him like a father regardless of what you went through. Showing kindness kills your enemies.....dont fight anger with anger
Did you listen to the whole show? He said he has forgiven his stepfather and He has every RIGHT to forgive and keep away and cut anyone who doesn’t belong in his life. Can we as AFRICANS stop this narrative that we shouldn’t cut ppl even PARENTS who put us through so much childhood trauma.What kindness do you give to someone who molested you bathong? I am a product of childhood trauma and it upsets me to hear this BS of kill them with kindness.. no I am going to get THERAPY, CUT,CUT, forgive for my own sanity and live my life without the my trauma villains and keep it moving. Just stop it.
Wooow Lebo 💔 for him but also happy that he did fight and fight again and again to be where he is today . Brother you have help so many young boys and men that you can never imagine. Your story doesn’t end there also opened some women eyes about step fathers. Overall thank you for sharing and for your foundation all the best 1❤️ visual huggs
My ancestors led me to this story and your channel. Thank you Rebogile for being their messenger to confirm to me the truth. I am at peace. 🙏🏾 I even had a dream last night that who I know to be my real father (my “uncle”) kissed me. The trauma that family secrets inflict are deep by thank God for the opportunity to heal. We must do different.
I don't know what to say but i will try to say something my brother you're a strong man we need more man like you I wish to meet you one day this interview make me so emotional.
I respect this man's wife and I am happy he repented of his sins and fixed the relationship with his family. I wish though that he could sort out the relationship with his mother
Watching from Zimbabwe. Thanks for the show Relebogile. You are a brilliant interviewer and Sylvester was a fantastic story teller. I had a father who loved me dearly. His father, my paternal grandDad loved me too, without conditions. I am not saying my Mum did not not love me. She did. The love of both parents makes your life complete. If Africa is going to heal completely, we need to rebuild the African family, the way it was with responsible and loving fathers, mothers and children being brought up in safe, secure and loving homes. History has mad Africans, particularly in SA and Zimbabwe, broke and broken. We need to restore ourselves, one brick at a time.
Relebogile I applaud you 👏👏👏 through your show we are exposed to such stories that help us understand why people behave the way they do (men who cheat on their partners for example) not all of them ate bad people, we all just need to heal before we get into marriage. I would have loved to hear ntate say something to a man who is a rapist, those who rape their own kids, the neighbor's kid weather girl or boy 😓. This was a good story because it educated some of us
Thank u so much Man of God Pastor Sylvester .I was also abused like the way u was treated by My Uncle l was sexually abused when l was 13 with their Garden Boy . Today is my first time to open up about this issue of Rape no one knows about it My Mother rejected me She choose her Husband instead of me . After l finished my grade l runaway from home l started to work in the Farm that's when l met My first Boyfriend l was happy bt l could not be open about the issue of Rape .So used tell him that l was a virgin . when we broke up he said l laid to him about virginity bt it was difficult for me to tell him about my past .l always blame My Mother for priorities her husband and l also blame my self for everything l went through l empty l have low self esteem
wow sane thing that did happen to my husband soon to be my ex cause he did file for divorce 3 years ago in the bitting and merital affairs it was like i was listening to my husband .i wish he can see and find piece with himself by watching this man, not to come to me but doing it for himself 🙏🙏
@@londekantuli979 I learned to talk to them other than beating them for doing wrong, when I am angry for whatever they have done I calm myself down, before addressing it with them so I don't say things I will regret. I applaud them for doing good also.Our parents focused a lot on what we did wrong but never complemented us on the good we did, for me now that I know better it was imbalanced, because it made me think I never did anything right.
WHAT AN EMOTIONAL STORY. MAY GOD HEAL YOU THROUGH THIS JOURNEY. THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR STORY. WE FEEL YOU AND WE ALL HAVE A BIT OF YOUR STORY IN OUR JOURNEY OF LIFE ON THIS EARTH HERE.
This story is so sad, men go through alot and society expects them to be strong. Nothing justifies cheating but we need to look at one's foundation at times
This is intense and powerful. This also shows how mess up the so called world we lived in is. We must submit ourselves to Almighty God to guide Us through our Lives journey. For the whole world is mess up.
Sincere, candid, profound and brutal at times...thanks for sharing. I commend him for taking bold steps to mentor young men but I also fear that he is still bitter, angry and begrudged towards life and most importantly, his mother (herself a victim) his stepfather. THAT alone may not allow him to live a life that is truly "free" from the baggage/bondage of anger...he needs to let go! I identify with a lot that he has gone through, perhaps not as intense but plenty of similarities!
Yoh, im not done with watching this video, already it is making me sad. Lying is never ideal, when a child is starting to ask questions parents should tell the truth.
@@thesylvestermashilofoundat8564 le nna ke re ke step daddy😁. Ntate Mashilo you sound Tswana, o kare o tswa ko my hometown Rusty. Le ge o re the Royal family named a town after them I thought of Phokeng. Thanks for your story of healing and hope, I can relate to parts of it, molestation and mommy issues. May God heal us indeed🥺
All in all this man is a great storyteller...The way he takes you through his childhood is as if you are there...
Ummm yng man u went thru a lot.very bad situation .aaah i blame yr granny yr mom and yr other siblings.yr granny should hv continued looking after u and tell u the truth
True
I saw the entire family literally eating dinner..... 🤣All 7-11 of them..
@@lisiwemtshali6823 So nice we thank God
Strong and well-spoken gentleman. Nothing frustrates me like an innocent child's life being messed up. Glad he overcame and became a better man.
Indeed. God bless him
I have never cried like this while watching a TV show because this gentleman literally just told my story word-for-word! This was just too much to take it because it meant getting in touch with my inner self, thank you for this episode!
Reach out to him through the foundation. It may just be beneficial to both of you.
Same here, it's just that I am a female
Sorry
(Romans 12:18).
"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” The key words here are: "as far as it is possible"
God shows us it is fine to exit toxic relationships. I did at the age of 40 after similar circumstances and not getting help from anybody that called themselves my relatives. I left all of them and found peace with my wife and children. Indeed God is the only father.
Sending hugs and ❤️ your way folks. Give all your hurt to Christ the Redeemer.
"The abuser thinks u r nothing without him, and it's actually the other way round" 👌👌👌👌
I’m not a South African so addicted to this Show, I have learnt not to judge and respecting everyone’s opinion @Relebogile Thank you
"I may not have been my mother's choice but I was God's choice ". That statement just gave me so much peace
Indeed.
That was my key take-away from the entire discussion. That statement was very profound, hey.
I agree with you 💯
He paints a picture so vividly, he’s truly an inspiration. This episode hit home.
I had a father, and my character is strong because of him. My father was so good I wish that everyone can experience such. Yes he was poor and got messed up because my mother cheated and bore out of wedlock kids, my father ended up in prison and lost direction in life, but he was my pillar and build me to the person that I am today.
We need to celebrate men who have not abandoned their responsibilities. They serve as fuel to encourage others especially young men who are or will become fathers soon.
@@thesylvestermashilofoundat8564 very very true, just your story will do wonders my brother. Your soul and spirit is gonna change lives
❤❤❤
He loved you. In spite of his flaws, he loved you. That is something a lot of children do not experience.
Your Story brought me tears my brother but I salute you listening to that voice from God your wife is a GIFT from God I wish you and your family love peace and happiness Sis Rea you bring us life stories thank you Sisi we love ❤ you
I had the best father ever, who raised me single handedly. May he RIP❤️
I've learned the hard way not to suppress my emotions and feelings as a sign of strength. Makunyiwa kuyanyiwa. I have went through a lot of issues that I knew existed but I kept on running away from them thinking they will disappear by occupying myself with busy schedules, chilling with people and dressing well,however, that has intensed my mental health and here I am, picking up pieces of my childhood experiences and traumas. Not every wound requires a bandage and not even injury requires requires stitches because if such is not treated accordingly, it will worsen and delay the process of healing!!
Same here. It took me years to come to grips with the fact that some things cannot be glossed over or wished away. It's important to confront the pain in order to heal. If it means moving on without individuals causing you pain.
Sending strength and healing to you
'The only Father that l have ever had is God'....wooww this cuts so deep. Mother's can we always love and protect our kids. Let's choose our kids first no matter what. Thank you Relebogile for this episode and may God continue to bless and protect His son Sylvester.
It sad that children pay for the sins of their parents😔😔
True....
I now can safely infer that, for every man who behaves funny, there is a serious underlying issue, nothing is random
I thought that i was going through alot because of raising my girl alone for over 16years but after listenining to this....iam so happy that i didn't let any man into our lives after leaving her violent biological father when she was six months of age!!! To this great Gentleman, take heart and God has heal you completely!
He is such a smart man. I like the manner in which he look at things and glad he chose the path of assisting others.
A person that acknowledges that their experiences negatively affected them but still takes responsibility for their actions and doesn't play victim. Amazing to see.
Great show.
Neh!
This man is too strong,I am glad he overcame and he is now a living testimony .I pray God gives him total healing!
Amen
Mothers can we also be truthful to our children, because the pain is deep and never goes away.
True... and we shouldn't just go into relationship with this monsters that we expose our kids to
I can NEVER reconcile leaving my kids with people outside myself and their dad!!! I know many have little to no choice, trying to secure jobs and education... understandable! But no child should go through this...
I have nothing but respect for this man. He has traveled through a dark and lonely road and finally found his way. He has my admiration.
There is so much healing that a lot of us Africans need, not just our own scars but generational scars too. Facing our demons /(our shadow selves) is the first step to healing...
Very true
I always believed and still believe there are good men out there. This is one of them... Well spoken, good values that he built for himself despite the challenges, a very strong willed and minded man. Cherry on top, he fears the Lord... 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
It's always good to be honest with children, paternity questions always affects the child at the end of the day, women a child should not question his or her paternity... Watching from kenya🇰🇪and loving the show,
I respect this man for his ability to take responsibility for his own actions, regardless of everything that happened to him.
True ..he didn't blame his wife instead he is real.
@@motsapimolise64 polar opposites to the Christian polygamist who basically spoke nonsense. I couldn't even finish watching☹
I feel for everyone who has never experienced a loving father. My father passed when I was 10, but those 10 years were the best of my life. As mothers, please protect your children at all costs. No marriage is worth breaking your children.
Me too.
My dad embraced us.
You so positive ilove the spirit in you
@@rixongilefortunateyingwane3861 thank you muchly.
You can see his got a Royal blood. The dignity in him. I wish everything of the best God really work wonders.
Is it just me that always imagine myself in Lebo’s interviews whenever I tune in. Love this channel. Very relatable conversations
I agree with that statement "The abuser will always make you feel like you are nothing, useless or worthless" i can relate
THIS EPISODE IS A TRIGGER 😭😭+-20 Years later hearing such stories leaves me heartbroken,the pain comes like it happened yesterday 💔💔💔
Honestly one thing i have learnt from this interview is that your life really is in your hands... Im so inspired by this gentleman...thank you so much❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Yoo, this episode brought back past traumas. My dad did not like my personality and everything I did as a 7-9-year-old was never good for him. So being beaten and fearful of him become something I lived almost every day when he was around. I hated him so much that day he died, it was the best thing that happened to me, it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulder and up to this day. It's been 17 years now and I have never missed or wished he was part of my life. Thank you for this episode.Namibia.
Sorry about that, please try to forgive him and let him go.
Yoh!
Eish... This interview has strengthened my resolve to confront a difficult family situation...
God bless you guys.
When the truth is released in a responsible manner it sets everyone free. The healing begins and love is jnconditional
I’ve received my healing through this video. Thank you Relebogile for hosting such an amazing guest.
When he said " I was never allowed to sit on the sofa" guys, I felt his pain.. Whether the child is related to the family or not, that is just not on😭
That is sooo sad
We grew up sitting down too. But its because my parents just wanted the furniture to last them longer. They didn't have much and what they had they cherished. those sofas are still alive today. Vintage style. they just got them recovered and put them in their guest sitting room. Bought more comfortable sofas for the main sitting room and shame my kids jump on them eat on them and have painted them🤣 I realize that they had a lot goin on than too many expenses now they are free and more lenient
@@fragilehandlewithcare3967 My kids are leaving my wildest dreams of doing as they please and telling my dad to let them talk than he'll respond and not to talk over them. They are not even 5years old. As people age a lot makes sense
@@kamogelo74 now I can relate with that🤣🤣🤣🤣😂 my son talks to my dad how ever. I never did that
@@koketsoprinnymashego6411 You wouldn't be alive if you dared do that. Its nice to see the parents being ordered around like they did us😁
Wow this man is so real. This story is heart breaking but very educative. This story shows the African man n his true life . African men some of them should just love all children, I have never understood how a woman can have love for other children but men r almost very discriminative towards other children than belong to there wives. This woman was raped n the best thing the step father could’ve done is just to show this gentleman Love. It’s so hard. I’m from Kenya n this does not only happen to South Africans but in Africa as a whole!! Waaa wow . My love n prayer goes to him. Actually a lot of people who r abused don’t even know they r being abused because they even enable the abuser but with time they know n they get out. Wow this is huge! Our tradition as Africans affect a lot the way we treat our own children and step children. This gentleman is really a gentleman n strong he is. Difficult to say the least.
This episode gave me a new perspective to life, and to always be open and let God reign, Lebo continue the good work, you are opening so many eyes, be blessed girl
Me too. I am thankful to ausi Relebogile for this reality show
@@seithatintumelangsetswanap2639 True girl
The honesty in this guy is such a great blessings to others. I applaud the emotional maturity of the wife 💯 because she truly loves & trust herself enough to heal her husband, GOD BLESS💕💕💕
My husband had a similar traumatic experience. This affected him and he also acted out in a similar manner. He also acted out at the age when the children were to these events in his life. He now has healed but cannot watch some movies, he cannot deal with emotional issues with children. This experience scars them for life. It like fine china glued together, their fractured life's are still a sensitive matter.
Oh madoda... intanga yam ithethile bethuna. Thanks so much Pastor Sir. I watched thiscwith my son although I am not married but I want him to understand that it's challenging to not have a dad. He is 10 years old now but I want him to know I'm with him each step...
Lebo thank you so much for stories you share with us that are life changing. Talking about his father he reminds of mind, the only difference with my father was that he was my biological father, I learned at very young age to be obedient so I won't be bitten plus we learned to be not around him even our visitors e.g cousin they visit 1 day and live the next day he will intimidate them so that they will live. We were not allowed to play, but during the day my mother will let us play but i have to stay inside watch my siblings playing so when he comes from work I call to come back and they will jump the fancy i will hide them and we lie saying we were doing our endless chores and garden at the back. I never felt his love ever. The last time he call me was 2011 when I started my internship. He was a pastor at church, in our home he was a monster, at church he was an angel. My mother finally left him last year December I can feel peace knowing that she out of that home even when she suffers with paranoid disorder herself I have chosen to distance myself and be around them on my own terms for my healing purpose. Narcissist do exist in South African home while keep on saying family is priority, my family just brought pain and anger. Narcissist will never change, he 67 years old he living the same way he was I was born. If I didn't seek therapy I wouldn't be where I am, suicide thoughts were ringing in my ears everyday which was extreme depression so I feel for child who still live with those kind of people who are heartless and they won't change.
I’m so sorry to hear about what you have gone through. Sending you love, strength and light. The things that are meant to harm us end up strengthening us. Your testimony will help many others who want to give up on life.
The first step of healing is being honest about your situation to yourself. That's what I see and learn from this show. 🌻
This story broke me, so many spanners thrown into it. Children ought to know that people are their step fathers, given the fact that mom was raped, this was just to hard. Her feeling unworthy, i also get it. Having said all this, if you are bringing the child into your marriage, choose them over marriage, it is a better option
Sometimes children go through a lot of pain, all kinds of abuse. Time heals all wounds😢
Just discovered this TH-cam channel and your talk show… it’s fantastic! Watching all the way from Spain, miss S.A.
Welcome Refiloe.
I would like to be in Spain please share how can one be there
Que lo pase bien en España. 💜❤️
@@anitatumeka1466 I found myself a Spanish man. Lol 😂 . He was in South Africa on holiday and we fell in love.
Welcome, a very nice show indeed
Thank God for a life that turns out well despite so much adversity. The courage to take a hard and honest look at oneself and come clean gives true release. May he continued on a positive path in his journey of finding himself and healing.
This episode was not only about this gentleman but about alot of hurt people. His mother was raped by a person with power and she was not in a place to be there for him both emotionally and physically due to the trauma she faced, his stepfather who really could not love this innocent boy due to lack of attachment because he was not his and finally the gentleman due to his upbringing which he had no choice in. He looked looked love from people who had no capacity to give that love.Hurt people hurt people. Alot of us need alot of healing!
This episode neh... I am currently going through a similar situation. I found out through a friend who's a medium- so the person who i grew up thinking was my father is deceased. So she connected with him and the man did not recognize me, i was confused and i kept telling her to keep trying again to a point where he got really mad and left the room. Like Aus Lebo said to Slyvester somehow you always 'know' or get the feeling that you might not be related to that person, i felt the same, i have never been connected to the man I grew up thinking is my father. Mind you I am the last born in my family so all my siblings share a father and they have a relationship with that side of the family, i never did. Also my dad situation was kept a secret for me, everyone else knew that i wasn't that mans child. I remember clearly there's only been two incidents in my entire life where some family members dropped hints unintentionally and those always stuck up with me until the day my friend(medium) read me. It was basically a confirmation to all those hints. It took alot of guts for me to actually ask my mom about my father but i did and she confirmed everything. The truth was that I was even born way after my siblings' father passed away (4 yrs later). My real father is deceased as well but he only passed away in 2016. Real father didnt even know about me, he was married by the time i was conceived (and not to my mother) so according to my mother the reason she didnt tell him was because she didnt wana ruin his marriage, so he never knew i existed.
All this is quite recent and i still dont know how to react/handle the situation. Also my mom does not want me to visit/find my real fathers family for reasons she does not wanna say, she just always comes up with excuses. This is starting to really affect me, at times i really wish to ignore the whole situation but i sometimes get weird dreams as well which i do not understand.
Sorry for this 🙏❤️
I can't this is just too much. I cannot believe that we truly have such human beings. I cried so much, God bless you my brother. Sending you love, light and healing.
The worst thing that could happen is when fate links with a person with abusers. The mother being raped, and getting married to a Narcissist husband who uses her very past to abuse her more. Making her believe that herself and the son couldn't not live without him. The man is even more twisted!! A series of abuse for the mom and a series of abuse and rejection for the boy, which started when being a product of rape and attracting more rapists. *genetic disposition*.
Thank you Pastor for sharing your story, for being a father to many boys now, and for not faking reality. Much respect 🤝!!
I like how honest he was on not having completely forgiven his mother. He’s not in denial and knows what to work on. May God grant him total healing.
I'm glad he is honest about his feelings
He's so truthful about his feelings it is inspiring
I wonder if the family members of his biological father did accept him.
Wow, what a powerful journey....thank you Relebogile....what a testimony about God's purpose for Sylvester's life 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
😭😭😭This was so heartbreaking Nkos yam. I hope and pray he finds healing 💔
Aaaaai 😭😭😭😭😭😭 yooooo 😭😭😭🙆
Thank you. I have healed. I couldn’t tell this story in the past without crying uncontrollably. God does wonders when you let Him take over in complete surrender.
Thank you Lord 💕
@@thesylvestermashilofoundat8564 Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. God works in miraculous ways. Having gone through so much adversity; here you are playing such a critical role in our society. Stay blessed.
For me I got beaten so much that I stopped crying.I would only cry when get shouted at, but never cried when beaten
Eish, as mothers we need to do more to protect our children. I feel like this gentleman's mother failed him. We need to pray to God to give us wisdom and humility to be able to raise our children in a way that makes them complete individuals with nurturing upbringing instead of raising them with wounds all over their psychological footprint. May be tough but it is necessary.
She too was a victim. She couldn’t provide the protection she never had. I believe she is broken and is need of healing. You can’t give what you don’t have.
@@hhhdiamondmmmm5901 oh absolutely, big words there🙏🙏
I appreciate how this show shares the extraordinary stories of ordinary people ❤️💙💜💯🙏.
This hits home. I have a brother that's living a lie too.. I want a relationship with him but his mother doesn't want him to know his biological father( which is my dad) and she's depriving me the opportunity to meet him and I dont want to be the one delivering the news that his current " known father" isn't actually his father... And I don't want to cause friction between him and his mother... This saddens me so much😭
Ask yourself this. Would he want to know the truth? I’m sorry to hear about your dilemma. I can’t tell you what to do but what I learned is that what stays in darkness always comes out. And secrets hold us prisoner.
@@thesylvestermashilofoundat8564His cousin told me my brother is suspecting as well so I'd like to think he does want to know the truth. Eish I cried all the way throughout your interview... My thing is I don't want to have a relationship with my brother and yet I'm the cause of " his relationship with his mom" being broken...
@@lindiwempho9075 do pray about it. And get revelation of what to do. And peace with whatever you decide to do.
Yho, this is hard. The sad reality is that he deserves the truth but at the same time you don't want to stir the hot pot☹
I respect and agree with the decision of not telling him yourself, no matter how much it hurts you. He will find out one day on his own, when he finally does your arms will be open to welcome him, it sounds like you're ready for him as a sibling, that's commendable. There are people who get rejected by their newly found siblings, I dont blame the ones who reject, they have their reasons. But big up to you for having a big heart. Maybe now you can just pray for him, hopefully he learns the truth soon.
The brutality😬🤔☹️☹️😭
Imagine beating a 7 year old because he went to go play.
Wow!!!What a heavy one Relebogile as a woman, I went through what he went through with my uncle,except the sexual abuse part.I never knew my father, mother is not willing to disclose that information,it hurts,however I am still in a journey of making peace with it.
There are so many lessons and take away(s) from this story, especially when it comes to raising a boy child. I thank you for sharing and teaching us so much. You grew up in dire circumstances BUT you still chose the path you want to walk as a man. Man like you are rare. God bless your family and your wife for seeing beyond your mistakes. Relebogile your doing such great work, keep it up! 💐
Forgive your stepfather and start treating him like a father regardless of what you went through. Showing kindness kills your enemies.....dont fight anger with anger
Did you listen to the whole show? He said he has forgiven his stepfather and He has every RIGHT to forgive and keep away and cut anyone who doesn’t belong in his life. Can we as AFRICANS stop this narrative that we shouldn’t cut ppl even PARENTS who put us through so much childhood trauma.What kindness do you give to someone who molested you bathong? I am a product of childhood trauma and it upsets me to hear this BS of kill them with kindness.. no I am going to get THERAPY, CUT,CUT, forgive for my own sanity and live my life without the my trauma villains and keep it moving. Just stop it.
I love this for us, lets UNPACK! Relebogile looking stunning as usual
Wooow Lebo 💔 for him but also happy that he did fight and fight again and again to be where he is today . Brother you have help so many young boys and men that you can never imagine. Your story doesn’t end there also opened some women eyes about step fathers. Overall thank you for sharing and for your foundation all the best 1❤️ visual huggs
My ancestors led me to this story and your channel. Thank you Rebogile for being their messenger to confirm to me the truth. I am at peace. 🙏🏾 I even had a dream last night that who I know to be my real father (my “uncle”) kissed me. The trauma that family secrets inflict are deep by thank God for the opportunity to heal. We must do different.
That is my story. I'm almost der to find the truth but I know because my God and ancestors have told before hand
I don't know what to say but i will try to say something my brother you're a strong man we need more man like you I wish to meet you one day this interview make me so emotional.
I respect this man's wife and I am happy he repented of his sins and fixed the relationship with his family. I wish though that he could sort out the relationship with his mother
Watching from Zimbabwe. Thanks for the show Relebogile. You are a brilliant interviewer and Sylvester was a fantastic story teller. I had a father who loved me dearly. His father, my paternal grandDad loved me too, without conditions. I am not saying my Mum did not not love me. She did. The love of both parents makes your life complete. If Africa is going to heal completely, we need to rebuild the African family, the way it was with responsible and loving fathers, mothers and children being brought up in safe, secure and loving homes. History has mad Africans, particularly in SA and Zimbabwe, broke and broken. We need to restore ourselves, one brick at a time.
This man👐👐👐👐damn God bless you for the vulnerability.With vulnerability comes healing.God bless your heart.
I went to the same school with this gentleman, He was a brilliant sportsman, super proud of him❤️
Relebogile I applaud you 👏👏👏 through your show we are exposed to such stories that help us understand why people behave the way they do (men who cheat on their partners for example) not all of them ate bad people, we all just need to heal before we get into marriage. I would have loved to hear ntate say something to a man who is a rapist, those who rape their own kids, the neighbor's kid weather girl or boy 😓. This was a good story because it educated some of us
This gentle man have a testimony he's a very strong person
Ah the adversities this man has faced🙆🏽♀️ I’m so grateful that he allowed the fire to burn him to become the pure gold he is today. Praise God
Thank u so much Man of God Pastor Sylvester .I was also abused like the way u was treated by My Uncle l was sexually abused when l was 13 with their Garden Boy . Today is my first time to open up about this issue of Rape no one knows about it My Mother rejected me She choose her Husband instead of me . After l finished my grade l runaway from home l started to work in the Farm that's when l met My first Boyfriend l was happy bt l could not be open about the issue of Rape .So used tell him that l was a virgin . when we broke up he said l laid to him about virginity bt it was difficult for me to tell him about my past .l always blame My Mother for priorities her husband and l also blame my self for everything l went through l empty l have low self esteem
Thank you so much Cc Lebo
This episode just shredd me into pieces 😔😥😭
Thanks God you are renewed may God be the glory
"How do you love me, when clearly you hate the man you conceived me with?" - this is too deep....... Thanks for sharing your testimony
That’s unfair
@@LM-he7eb not at all
Is she suppose to love the rapist?
I've never cried so hard while watching a show. He's so honest about forgiveness journey of those close or related to him.
A very Wise man indeed..and emotionally story as well,learnt a lot from you pastor
All I can think of is respecting that man,may God continue to bless him!
wow sane thing that did happen to my husband soon to be my ex cause he did file for divorce 3 years ago in the bitting and merital affairs it was like i was listening to my husband .i wish he can see and find piece with himself by watching this man, not to come to me but doing it for himself 🙏🙏
Haaiman! You,v gone thru hell n u survived-l can't stop crying n thanx God yr life experience has made a gud man out of u
Thank you my brother keep on trusting God 🙏 he is always in control
How i wish chains of abuse could be broken in our society!!!!On my side for my children I'm doing my part.
Please share how you are doing this mommy
@@londekantuli979 I learned to talk to them other than beating them for doing wrong, when I am angry for whatever they have done I calm myself down, before addressing it with them so I don't say things I will regret. I applaud them for doing good also.Our parents focused a lot on what we did wrong but never complemented us on the good we did, for me now that I know better it was imbalanced, because it made me think I never did anything right.
Phew !!!! What a great man ! What an inspiring story ! To more men like these - that open up for their own mental health!
WHAT AN EMOTIONAL STORY. MAY GOD HEAL YOU THROUGH THIS JOURNEY. THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR STORY. WE FEEL YOU AND WE ALL HAVE A BIT OF YOUR STORY IN OUR JOURNEY OF LIFE ON THIS EARTH HERE.
This story is so sad, men go through alot and society expects them to be strong. Nothing justifies cheating but we need to look at one's foundation at times
God bless this man eh.i am amazed.i wish him nothing but the best in life
Thank you Sylvester for doing the work with boys and men, we really need people like you. And your honesty wow
This is intense and powerful.
This also shows how mess up the so called world we lived in is. We must submit ourselves to Almighty God to guide Us through our Lives journey. For the whole world is mess up.
Thank you. We are The SylvesterMashilo Foundation
Unpacked really coming through with the content 🙌
Such a powerful story, he is a good story teller, God bless you 🙏
Sylvester the most humble, sweet professional person I've ever met in my life
Sincere, candid, profound and brutal at times...thanks for sharing.
I commend him for taking bold steps to mentor young men but I also fear that he is still bitter, angry and begrudged towards life and most importantly, his mother (herself a victim) his stepfather. THAT alone may not allow him to live a life that is truly "free" from the baggage/bondage of anger...he needs to let go!
I identify with a lot that he has gone through, perhaps not as intense but plenty of similarities!
Yoooh.. This man though... I respect his level of honesty. His English, his fluency ohhh Lord.... We nid more men like this
A very touching story...what is the name of his BOYS MENTORING organisation?
He is such a charming man.
Wow, such a well spoken man who articulate tremendously. I am impressed
Yoh, im not done with watching this video, already it is making me sad. Lying is never ideal, when a child is starting to ask questions parents should tell the truth.
Bathong !!!that one person who dislike this episode is everything okay at home. 😷🤐
It's the man that raised him.
😂😅🙆🏾♂️ you guys are being naughty
Ever thought , maybe they disliked because its a sensitive issue to them? It opens up wounds they were not ready to deal with yet?
@@thesylvestermashilofoundat8564 le nna ke re ke step daddy😁. Ntate Mashilo you sound Tswana, o kare o tswa ko my hometown Rusty. Le ge o re the Royal family named a town after them I thought of Phokeng. Thanks for your story of healing and hope, I can relate to parts of it, molestation and mommy issues. May God heal us indeed🥺