The hardest part about working a job for me is ALWAYS the social aspect. I don't understand the subtle "games" coworkers and managers play, where they're having power struggles, throwing each other under the bus, etc - all while being perfectly friendly to each others' faces. It just doesn't compute. If you don't know how to play the game, you lose by default.
Well said. This situation is intensified when working in the restaurant industry. People are insanely manipulative at those jobs because everyone is competing for tips , and hours and people can act like a pack of wolves while grinning to one another 24/7 and I never understood where i stood with anyone. Could never hold down any given restaurant for more than a year or two. Not because i wasn't great at my job because i was, but i had no clue how to interact with the servers or guests.
Your resume and experience may get you the job, but to thrive in the workplace you need to be able to play the games. Any job worth having is competitive, any competitive job will have a lot of game playing.
I think its because when we born until the rest of our lives, our culture planted in our society the capitalist way of politics and economics, based on over-competition and over-individualism.
I'm 80 years old and was diagnosed at age 72. That explained my life to me after trying to figure it all out on my own without the help of professionals. The brain is really a magical and mysterious thing.
irma jay wow hopefully it was the missing piece in the jigsaw 🧩 puzzle for you. It helps to put things into a context so we can accept all of that we are and what we are
I was finally diagnosed at 65 when I got Medicare and had the time. I suspected it for at least 15 years, but never had the time to look into it. Like so many others, how much less stressful my life would have been if I'd had help as a child and along life's way. All I have done is simply survive as if I was drowning in a raging river for years on end. But I did reasonably well; it just has been extremely costly.
I love certain types of low-skilled, manual tasks because it's easy to think about other things while I'm doing them. I view it as a kind of meditation, honestly.
I totally agree. Those were/are my favourite. I ran into chronic hand pain issues though - so to fellow aspies (or anyone) who thinks like us and enjoys those jobs - make sure not to overdo it, take breaks, and don't ignore small pain signals (signs you need a break or change of position or massage or whatever!) :)
I am working at a kindergarten. This is the ideal job for me (Aspie, but on the lower end of the spectrum), because children are interacting in a direct way, they don't use irony or sarcasm and they just talk about their feelings and don't hold them back (because they can't, ideal for me!!) Of course there will always be problems with the team / the other adult workers, but that is tolerable for me.
Same! I'm a kindergarten teacher. I just lost my job today. Not really lost it but I was a part time substitute and the teacher I was substituting just came back. They kind of hinted they'll employ me full time as a maternity leave substitute but they took someone else instead even though she hasn't passed state qualifying examination yet and I have and I've been working there longer. I do like working with kids for the reasons you described but I just don't know how to socialize with my co-workers and I also suck dealing with parents. Headmaster said they loved how I work but then why didn't you give me a new contract???! I'm completely lost. I gave my everything to be the best as I can and now I feel like a failure.
I tried and failed at sales, waiting tables... I was ok as a teacher... Now I'm a programmer. So stereotypical. I spent most of my life trying to swim upstream and overcome my difficulties. I finally realized it's much more productive and less stressful to capitalize on my strengths, and work on trying to overcoming my weaknesses as a hobby.
I'm looking to get into programming myself. A company is going to provide a traineeship as soon as they find a fitting assignment which is taking a long time in this current climate. Would you have any tips? I'm pretty excited about it. Even though dropping a significant amount of salary initially from my job in finance.
@@gerardvdpl4409 I wish I could! I'm good at learning things, but getting jobs... I don't even have much trouble with interviews, really, but getting them in the first place, without a CS degree and only a year or less of experience... It's pretty rough, man. I did one of the things where you do 3 months of training, and you agree to work for them for relatively low pay for 2 years... They said everyone got placed usually within a month, but unless you do something terrible or just aren't trying, they'll keep setting up interviews while paying you training pay, however long it takes... COVID hit exactly when training completed. They got me like 2 or three interviews over the next 5 months, nothing came of them, and then they told me I was "furloughed" due to the unexpected circumstances. So now I'm back on the job search, with less than two years of experience, half of which was actually just training. Good luck!
I'm an Aspie with a 149IQ and I enjoy being a delivery driver. Everybody tells me I'm wasting my life/talents but I enjoy being alone with my thoughts and on the flipside concentrating on the road helps me to switch those thoughts off when it gets too noisy up there. The limited social interaction with regular customers is also good because it's not too overwhelming and it helps me from becoming too antisocial. Also the performance based aspect mentioned in the vid, as long as I finish my run in good time I get to pretty much plan my own day. Just a pity the money's not better.
Godfrey Ozzy my iq is 125 but visually i am the 90% percentile and have found exactly the same thing delivering for the previous 4 months.. atm i am an english nanny aupair in china so am enjoying playing with a 2/3 year old as i can be imaginative as possible without any anxiety coming over... but learning the chinese language is proving fun cause of the all the symbols that is not easy but easier than for most people & cause it's an interest it's proving quite a fun process... would dream to make a tech startup but not quite there as a person
I haven't taken a real iq test but a quick online test I scored a 138. I grew up working in a whs and learned/memorized thousands of code numbers. Where they were in the whs and could close my eyes and visualize where everything. I then took on the task of figuring out where everything needed to go. Then I picked up delivery driving and got my CDL. I delivered to schools and could remember exactly what freezers/coolers everything went after a couple times. I could go back to the school years later and instantly remember where everything went. Now I deliver bulk sugar and it's by the delivery. It's close to the same thing everyday but I get to use enough problem solving skills that it keeps my brain active. But being able to drive and just think for hours is so peacefull to me. I love my alone time. :)
@@pcoldlight5631 Do you have a set route? I always hate going places for the first time. The unknown and worrying about geting stuck worries me. But getting my big rig into tight spots allows me to use problem solving skills. I hope everything works out for you. Or you find a job you enjoy more. I'm saving up to buy my own truck. If you get into the right type of work. You can make more that doctors delivering high end stuff.
Dan Lyons hi , sorry took me a few days to get back to you, I only just saw yr reply . To answer ur questions. I have a route that differs every day , but is the same each week. I too find the new delivery first time stressful, however I think everyone does. For me the stress comes when I revisit the same people over and over again and I feel they expect me to converse with them. That's the difficulty for me. It's hard to hide long term. The money's good with overtime . I earned 900 quid last week , my best week I work through an agency . However after about 8 months on this contract I feel about to get caught. By that I find it difficult when I am back in the yard and have to appear normal. It overpowers me so might be time to move on. I used to have my own lorry but had problems with the O license. I am thinking of private hire or maybe training as a driving instructor. Basically something that's keeps me mostly on my own. Honestly I wish things were different but as I get older I realise they are probably not going to change . Thanks for ur reply and I wish you well.
I am a dentist. It is a very social-based profession, but the thing is - what I do, I do alone and I have no boss, the nurse takes care of the patient and all the patient and I talk about are their conditions, no awkward small talk, no looks, since i always analyze their mouth and so on. Overall a very good fit, I made the right decision.
The most annoying thing for me is am a nurse so much social interaction with intricacies.... thank God now I'm perioperative Nurse now... In theater less unnecessary noise..so much better
This may shock people, but I found my ideal job to be in the park service. Dare I say its like I've turned my nature of being able to store and talk about one kind of information for hours into something I'm literally paid for. Its ironic since people would think aspergers would make me not want to talk, but people expect someone who has all this information in this position. They want to hear from someone who loves the parks and has all the answers.
That's wonderful to hear. My son has been saying he wants to be a park ranger because he loves nature. I'm really glad to hear from someone else that this will be a good job where he'll likely be happy. :D
Thus lies the importance of the distinction between asocial & antisocial. I love people, but I am quite terrible at interacting with them (in the way which they expect/want me to interact with them).
I’m an aspie working happily as a disability support worker. I have a great connection with people who are autistic. What I always thought was my downfall and disability has become a great gift and hidden ability. I’ve been able to tap into their minds with little effort and introduced them to personally tailored games and activities they enjoy and look forward to. Smiles and laughter from clients who were apparently unapproachable and anti social. They come to me when they feel a meltdown coming. Suddenly I’m useful and feel I have a deep purpose in life. Now I’m just so grateful for being different. 🥰
Just curious what education was required to do what you’re doing? The reason I’m asking is I have a daughter with Asperger’s in college with an AA Social Science (psychology focus) taking a few education courses, hoping to be a teacher assistant for elementary/pre-school students, but this also sounds like very rewarding work.
I am a london black cab driver. Its the best job for me. Im my own boss, got my own routine, dont have to talk to no one, no eye contact. Also im the best cab driver in london which i feel is down to having aspergers.
I used to run up and down stairs carrying a really heavy hoover in one hand. I mean, we weren't supposed to put it down. Probably because of Taylor. And they didn't even want the place to be clean. Sometimes menial labor is just sabotage.
I hate cleaning! 😠 I've done it for ten years at a community college and I'm currently doing it at a hotel. And I wanted a front desk position so I could work with a computer and be around people.
I found it hard to follow the huge list of things to clean on my mental list and got fired from a cleaning job for missing cob webs in a teachers office at the school I was working, its frustrating.
All my adult life I worked in a corporate customer service area. When I retired I started working as a janitor for a small manufacturing company. After 6 months I received a title, promotion, and raise because I had transformed the facility into a beautiful clean space. It is the best job I’ve ever had, I wish I had discovered it earlier.
@@eesaarashid1954 but you have to deal with people if you are self employed because you don't get paid unless a person pays you, and on top of that you have to get clients yourself if you are self employed
Pros of asperger’s: I’ve written my master’s Thesis in 3 days, 100 pages on competition law 😂 with a great result. But When I’m working on something I don’t drink, eat, wash, Clean the house, the world doesnt exist for me :D
I have just been diagnosed with Asperger's and this makes so much sense! When I was in college every paper I wrote over my major and my passion I made a 100 on every time and had to restrain myself from writing more than the amount required. But then every other paper I had to write for any other topic I just barely made it through the paper getting a B or C grade.
you used the bubble trick then or something akin to it where basically nothing outside what you are doing or focused on exists whatsoever, time is irrelevant, there is no thoughts of the past, no dread of the future, no hunger, no maintenance, but your focus, energy, inspiration, motivation, etc, is on a scale most people cant even fathom. however, once you get out of that bubble, it can be very hard to get back in it.
@@ghostofsilence2697 oh, I know what you mean :D I don't really like starting to learn and it is really hard for me to start, but as soon as I'm learning, it's really hard to even speak with me. Sometimes I don't even hear someone directly beneath me.
The biggest anxiety i have is running into toxic environments unknowingly. Because I am uncontrollably stubbornly uncompliant. I guess compliance is the social nerve that aspergers lack.
I am compliant if something is logical, but I tend to question everything that doesn't make logical sense and employers don't seem to like that, they just want you to do as told without thinking... so I can relate. I don't really understand when someone can make something more efficient and better for the task/result and yet it isn't done. It frustrates me and I have great difficulty just doing something incorrectly or poorly just to complete the task. I like things to be better than minimal. Environments where they encourage and reward the extra effort you put in for their benefit are the best places to work... unfortunately these work places are getting harder and harder to find these days.
Hi, Terry. I hear where you are coming from. I weigh "is it reasonable, is it helpful" and if the answers are both "yes", I'm compliant, but if not, a lil' internal gyroscope kicks in and I'm off in my own direction. It's often not good strategy, but as you say, uncontrollable.
I love to comply. Follow the rules and confront ppl who are breaking them. No wonder they don't like me. I'm like a hall monitor--what are you doing, where are u going, and get out of here.
i think certain contruction trades are great since they dont require any personal skills and you can kind of do your own thing and typically your day and the project are pre-planned
Anything freelance. Jobs which don't require as much interpersonal interaction: Long distance truck driver. Funeral home cosmotologist. Dog trainer. Legal researcher. Many types of repairman. A lot of forestry jobs.
I LOVE doing freelance work as an independent contractor. The frustrating aspect is GETTING PAID for my work! Some NT's seem to think that freelance means "free labor". I've come close to having to sue because of wage theft. Why do people try to cheat others out of a paycheck they've already earned?
Truck driver, because when you have a driver manager that let's you do your job, it becomes the best thing. The last few jobs I had, had narcissistic managers who didn't communicate, or let me do my job. I had to be part of their, "Clique" first.
In the past, comparisons between aliens similar to the Vulcans, feral children, and even changelings have been found. Those on the spectrum may have inspired the changeling myth.
Looking back over my life, I've only just realised that other people have always felt a bit like foreign territory for me. I spent much of my working life in other countries, and it kind of balanced out.
I'm living & working in a foreign country, and it's definitely easier where a passport & visa are needed than the "foreign country" of home-country suburbia...
In the past I kept performing so well at my jobs that I would end up being pushed into leadership or supervisory roles which I hate because of people. I had to quit one job because they were going to make me a department manager. I finally found a place that lets me perform my hyper focused work without the threat of being promoted and I love it.
I learned after many experiences like that to accept one promotion, preferably non-supervisory and then dig in my heels and refuse any more. Also got pretty comfortable with what I call my Dread Pirate Roberts Pitch: pay me more or I just might leave, could be any day now, pay me more or I am gone.
@@peepeepooopoo I was working as a metrologist, programming a cmm and creating ppap reports for automotive stamping. I got into that position to get out of a supervisory role as a cnc programmer. Then I found myself being promoted to the quality manager when I decided to leave. I am now at a much more supportive company that allows me to focus on cmm programming. I've managed to automate so much of my job that I have had time to teach myself powershell, javascript, sql, html, css, vba and excel programming and have built several applications that the company uses. I love working on computers, I understand them more than people lol.
I’m 66 and just learning I’m autistic. Some background in Nursing but ended up working in a Lab as a quality control Chemist. I test very high. I always did see myself as an alien on the planet. I now feel ‘normal’ knowing I’m autistic. Finally found my peeps.
I need to look into that i understand animals way to well xD my friend was stroking my cat and i literally judt storked his tail and he left my friend i said to him you give him too much attention you need to wait and he'll let you know and he let him know but my freind didnt notice it to my freinds the cat just loves me and his owner thats it xD
I know this video was posted a long time ago, but to this day, my favorite job was working on a farm as a sheep Milker. Very repetitive, outside time, lots of freedom to think, and I got to be with animals. I miss it so much.
Best job in the world for an Aspie is University lecturer as you are surrounded by Aspies and you don't stand out as odd. Arts or Science, doesn't matter - whichever you're best at. The worst job for you as an Aspie is one where you are surrounded by neuro-typicals - you will be under constant stress.
That's true! My last job was a huge failure for me because social rules, being nice and adequate were the most important things. I actually enjoy my field - languages and literature - but I quickly disappeared under a mass of fake smiles and nice words. I desperately wanted to give real opinions or even explaining my struggles, but it felt like it would be so awkward that I just gave up everytime. I've spent the last few years feeling terribly incompetent, but now I'm working at home because of quarantine and guess what, I'm being 100% productive and creative.
Wow, university lexturer! I guess i should go do that and quit my trucking job. I always thought i would need significant college education to do that. I didnt know university lecturer was attainable to the average aspie. Next thing i need to know is how apply for such a job. It seems like a loft position where you might need to (socially) know someone to get in.
@@zwatwashdc We must never forget the cruelty of our ancestors' most "advanced societies", I think. The Athenians and the Six Nations have had periods in which pretty much everyone is doing terrible things. These are the places in which the healthiest and most normal minds shine out to guide posterity towards the real goods of life. And there evidently aren't infinite supplies of them. I think if the day comes again on which the universal unelected brain trust isn't tangled up in new Hurons, everything will get pretty freaky.
I'm a nurse and work in charge of an aged care facility at nights and this works really well with Asperger's. The residents communicate directly with a humility that I love so much and it's nice and quite. No extra staff, no family, no Day management etc...I get to quietly make a difference in the world without feeling overwhelmed, and it's so rewarding. Humans usually disappoint me, but the elderly are so open and loving. It's like I have one massive family at work and I get to go visit them regularly and get paid 💕
My brother is a Barrister in UK. He has many excellent Aspie lawyers working for him. He comments that their detail for attention & motivation to achieve is excellent. He believes that those lawyers who are Aspie have a superior attitude to work & produce perfectly detailed, straight forward presentations, especially for court purposes. My daughter was diagnosed aged 9, 6 months ago. We worried constantly about her future. My brother has been instrumental in reassuring us that she will have a very fulfilling future. Great video's, please keep them coming!
The U.S. legal field seems aspie friendly but is actually extremely neurotypical because of the bar’s mental fitness requirements and other employment discrimination practices. Plus the only good jobs are found through networking and a large part of the job is courting new clients. It’s a struggle to find the jobs that don’t include the social complications even though most lawyers I meet are not exactly sociable.
I did good not great at mattress sales here in the U.S., because it is somewhat formal and goal-directed. So much better than the aimless “small talk” at parties!
I'm an Aspie and a HGV Driver. Perfect job for me because I am alone in my lorry all day, don't have to talk to anyone and can listen to my radio all day, my routes are pre planned and I generally know what I'm doing and where I am going the day before so I know what to expect when I go in the next morning so can be prepared. I get to travel to some beautiful places and get well paid for doing so, and my lorry is my personal space that nobody else can invade. I love it!
I'm a woman and that was always one of my dream jobs. I love driving, travelling and I love being alone. But being a truck driver in Europe can be dangerous in some parts of the continent, so I passed on that.
@@potatoO0o Maybe you can drive for some other type of job? I had a friend who drove to deliver wine to stores & restaurants in an approximate 500 square mile area. There must be a way for you to do what you love. All the best.
Five years later and this is still very helpful advice. It reminded me that the custodian at my high school had a PhD and loved his job because it paid well and gave him time to think. He was a really good guy, too. The job wasn't very social but he was always kind to the students and took us seriously in a way not many adults did.
I feel like i'm practically unemployable honestly. I'm 48 and was a freelancer for a couple of decades due to this. I'm again trying another career. We shall see how it works.
@Impulse I have a lot of hurdles to go through though. Finding a school I don't have to do Math prereq's. I think I found one though. I'm dyslexic with numbers. It's no fun at all. If I have to so complex math I'm not gonna be happy. Statistics is one of the classes I might have to do and that's if I get a high enough math score in testing. Anyways... A long road ahead.
I am 31, haven't had a job for nearly three years, and have no job prospects. I worked in retail for seven years. I am *still* recovering from burnout, even years later. I only have skills in organizing, creative writing, and money handling. I WILL NOT WORK WITH PEOPLE ANYMORE. I was in toxic environments constantly, and my bosses took advantage of me because of the fact that I would get jobs done in less than half the time as other employees, so I ended up doing most of the jobs, but still getting paid crap money. I can't freelance because I also have ADHD and cannot maintain any kind of regular schedule on my own. My degree is in liberal arts. I have no internal motivations, and I don't want a career. What the hell would you recommend?
Hi, I suspect I have the same diagnoses, I work on IT as a software developer, you don't need a "career" to work on IT. I know I can't freelance either lol hope I get my proper diagnose to get meds and see if I can hopefully start journalism, designing, crafting and youtubing
same here, but i haven't worked since 2011, burout sent me to a mental hospital 3 times, I'm not eligible for any disability benefits, and I'm not considered unemployed, because when I went to apply I had a panic attack and the unemployment office threatened to call the police and have them put me back in a mental hospital if i didn't stop panicking, so i left as fast and as soon as i was physically able, therefore I'm not actively seeking employment so im not unemployed. I'm not even suicidal any more, because, why bother? It's just a waste of effort.
The MAIN problem in ANY job that I have learned is that I have to know I cannot tell when someone is lying to me or misleading me or being disingenuous. Take care and protect yourself because you can wind up getting taken advantage of or getting screwed by coworkers or management.
This happened to me working at Walmart. Someone scammed me and my boss tried saying I was in on it and I had to write a report to the police and now every time I come into that store they watch me like a hawk and try to catch me stealing when I'm not
@@Ormaaj wrong assumptions like, "i should use this person to make an example of how people should admire me for being more popular and higher status"?
You made really insightful nuanced points. I actually had a tech job in a well-known company and at one point I figured out how to get my work done in about half the time (eg 20hrs for a week). Everything was fine and I was getting above-average performance reviews equivalent to my days of 40-60 hour work weeks. However, the honeymoon ended once I was moved from an office that was away from my manager to one right across from her. She inevitably noticed I was only at work half the time and wasn't having any of it. My performance reviews took a hit and relatively soon after I was laid off. The thing is even jobs that claim to be all about performance will very often have managers who won't tolerate employees that clock in and out at the wrong time regardless of actual output.
My father was once in charge as a free lance self employed milk delivery man of a group of 20 men and about ten trucks which he owned outright. He worked with a manager who was employed by the same dairy to do large institutions and shops and the like, My father handled the domestic side of milk delivery and his idea was to give his workers the flexibility to do their rounds in their own time, if they finished early with no missed deliveries and no issues they got off early. These guys worked like demons to get the task done in the most efficient way and in the least time possible which suited everybody. The milkmen directly employed by the dairy were made to wait until the official clocking out time and micromanaged all the time by their manager. Those who finished their rounds early were simply given more work to do and so quickly learned to operate at a standard (slow) speed for everyone. Sandbagging ( overestimating the time taken to do a task ) was common as was skiving off and dodging in order to "generate" overtime opportunities. My fathers men worked flat out knowing the time left over after completion of the tasks was their own and they had an incentive to work hard and fast.
Facts. I'd say almost nothing in corporate environments works. Too much BS office politics in *every* field / department / whatever. Oh, and middle managers are a nightmare.
3:58 - 4:13 - That’s a slippery slope. If you show you can get a weeks’ worth of work done in 6 hours, many employers/departments end up putting more on your plate. A co-worker of mine actually takes quite a bit longer to do things, because she triple and quadruple-checks everything and also sends a ton of emails back-and-forth to make sure everyone is on the same page. ...but when she’s done, you can be 100% sure it was done correctly. Sometimes it’s a game of numbers.
If you are hourly, NEVER ever let them see your best. Recipe for intensified exploitation. That is why my preferred work is all paid by the job such as commissioned artwork.
This makes me think of Montgomery Scott from Star Trek, saying it would take him x amount of time to fix something, then being all impressive because he knew it wouldn't actually take him that long.
I'm an introverted asocial aspie. I've learned various social skills by buckling down and suppressing my anxiety. I can vary effectively communicate with people almost to the point where most people wouldn't think that I have ASD. I don't make it a point to socialize just for the sake of it, I prefer having a memorable experience with a quality individual. I go out to socialize for the same reason people go to the zoo. The difference between an introvert and an extrovert is that introverts view social interaction reserved for quality people, while an extrovert cares more about the quantity of people. Now throw ASD into the mix...
I have always seen introverts and extroverts as versions of energy cycles. Extroverts recharge using social aspects and expend energy while alone. Introverts recharge when alone and expend energy in social interactions.
Some (long) thoughts for tactile Aspies who aren't aversive to touch: I'm low/medium on the spectrum but also have other processing/cognitive issues. Am also very tactile/kinesthetic. Human anatomy, physiology, muscles, neurology, psychology, movement, pain relief, stress relief & health are major, intensely obsessive, lifelong interest areas for me. I work as a massage therapist for the last 14 years, after 2 years of school. At a relatively advanced level now. I get to mostly control my work environment to tune it to my sensitivities and needs. Very low sensory stimulation is ideal and respected by all. I have a charm and warmth (and "scripts") I can use to greet the clients briefly and get them on the table. Then I get to deal with only one person at a time, in a small, comfy, minimal, quiet non-stimulating place... while they're mostly silent with their eyes closed and mentally/emotionally gone (yay!). I'm merely there to serve them and the "vehicle" of their body/mind and muscles masterfully by applying highly technical knowledge and instinctive experience in a repetitive, meditative way - having silent convo with their body while my brain is teeming with a thousand bits of familiar advanced knowledge, patterns & details about it. And I get to alter the routine as much or as little as I want while customizing the basic flow :) (The funnest times are when I get clients who are also Aspie or ADD or who share obsessive interest areas with me. Then we talk. I can usually wear other people out every time and I have to be careful to ask and stop, but I love it when the other person can kind of beat me at that by sharing so much interesting info! It is mutually relaxing.) You can never get bored bc there's always tons more to study, discover, experiment and learn. Or not, if you don't feel like it. I love to study the detailed, famous work of Janet Travell who was JFK's doctor. And other advanced bodywork teachers, who I highly suspect many are Aspies also. Our profession seems full of tactile Aspies. Many are highly lacking in typical social skills, but are fantastic massage therapists. My constant challenge is to avoid hugely geeking out on people in explaining way too much detail about the source of their pain issues etc and what they can do about it. They just want to relax and be cared for in a set routine, quietly. Which works for me lol. I've also worked as a proofreader/editor, and that felt mostly good. You just said my exact words verbatim about trying to get the feedback. Been saying that all my life to people! Never understood why that's so hard for them but now I know. Hope my story and comments help someone in some way. And yes, glad you're doing another video on this bc in hearing your intro here, I said to myself 'Wow this is a massive topic to take on!' Bravo! Well done & extremely helpful! (One funny note: this video was posted on the birthday of someone I know who I think is Aspie & who works in high level IT. Lol.)
i’m a massage therapist too, and it’s been such a relief for me as someone with ASD. i love the one-on-one interaction, and how i get to create my own safe space and boundaries.
I've found my niche in life as an in-home appliance technician. On the surface, it seems like something that would be terrifying, going into strangers' homes and fixing their stuff, but being out on my own and solving problems with my own skill set is highly satisfying. I absolutely love fixing things, and problem solving.
I'm also a repairman. One on one with people I'm fine. I even joke with the homeowners. The jobs are small enough for my attention span. I do not love the job, but it's a world I fit in😉
When I had a job baking bread the owner of the business once told me "I don't know what you're doing in here - my area was always a mess - but they've doubled our order. So keep doing it -but I just can't look."
When I was working at Hardee's I made the biscuits in the mornings and my boss always laughed at me because everything in that area of the kitchen was covered in flour including me! But he said that the biscuits looked exactly like the picture and tasted great we had a lot of compliments from customers
@@Meira750 So I'm guessing this tendency to ignore straightening and cleaning because you are too interested in what you are doing is a common trait among Aspies? Wow. I remember I was always so busy in school that my locker was a complete mess.... I literally had to jam stuff in to keep it from falling all over the floor and to put my books in there. I got made fun of a lot and tried being neat but it just would not stick.
@@RedSpiralHandTV Did I say that? I did clean after I finished my project and I keep my house clean but my mom tried to get me to put every item away as I used it in the kitchen and no, I prepped all my food then cleaned up. That's how a professional kitchen works too. Maybe all chefs are Aspies? "Wow."
I'm a transit bus driver. I enjoy using and perfecting the technical skills involved and I am almost always left alone by supervisors. I'm able to avoid eye contact in my interactions with passengers and I've excelled at this job. I've been in this position for 12 years and I compete every year. I am currently ranked 2nd in my state and have won a state wide safety award for safest bus operator. It's been a pretty good fit for me.
I am 42 years old and am just now staring to deal with the effects that being autistic has on my life. I’m just now starting to accept it and try to change my environment to be more tolerable for me. I’m so happy to find your channel. I have been so lonely and scared and feeling like a failure but I can get through this and take care of myself.
How to get a diagnos for Autism and ADHD? I'm 26 and I suspect that I have one of them or both? When I asked my therapist he said remove that Idea from your brain you have a colleague degree?! So than why I'm struggling to getting a job and in social situations?! Why I'm introvert?
I enjoy conversations with robotic-like people more than expressive people. It always feels like expressive people are sugarcoating everything, nothing is to the point and everything is hinting at having an ulterior motive.
I’m an ultrasound tech but I intentionally work in an outpatient clinic instead of a hospital. In a clinic, it’s just “call the patient > scan them > send them home > do the paperwork” 90% of the time, and because I’m fast at scanning I have a lot of downtime to reset from any exhausting social interactions I might have. Hospital has way too many variables for me.
I used to work in Canada in a warehouse doing custom picking and packing and shipping of orders and I found it very rewarding (plus there was no judgement about my asd). It was different enough every day to be interesting but routine enough that I had comfort in the mechanics of how everything worked. It was all about sorting and remembering the correct places for things and since I have to do that inside my head with my thoughts anyways, it was perfect. But I have struggled finding a place of similar structured employment here in North Queensland. I worked for the council in parks but I found the hardest part is no one wants you to work too efficiently, so it drove me crazy. I like to work really hard and quickly and then rest after I finish everything, as you mention.
I do picking and packing and shipping now after years of nursing. I love this job. Same thing every day with little interaction. People often comment on how fast I work. I find it rewarding and relaxing.
Wow! I'm 53 and just learning that I'm probably an aspie. Everything you described is my life from childhood to present. Difficult relationships, misunderstandings with people, the whole thing. This is huge.
That's about the age I first learned about this disorder too, and realized I had it! So eye opening! Am glad the younger people are getting diagnosed sooner nowadays.
I believe that more awareness and acceptance towards Aspies will, in the long run, takes us away from isolated jobs. I mean, in my experience, the problem with non-isolated jobs is people expecting me to work and behave the same way as anybody else, plus the social acceptance problem. If that geets better, I can see myself working with other people again.
I found that I'm great in sales, for many reasons but one big reason that people appreciate an honest and transparent seller. But also achieving everything people always thought I wouldn't be able to, makes me very proud!
@@theogramme_official I am. Tbh, although Iceland has a lot more people on the spectrum, they don't learn enough about mental health. I grew up in Denmark (my mom's Danish) and when I went to live in Iceland with my dad for a few years, I had the worst time being myself and I was in a deep, deep depression. Iceland is not welcoming people to live, only to travel.
@@IrisKarls - "Aspies" may not be called "Aspies" anymore, yet for this video stream ... "Aspies" IS used !! No one cares what the medical establishment now labels Aspies. Ehhh?
I’m 25 now and diagnosed at 13 I’ve been a letter carrier with USPS for 3 years and I honestly love it. The social interactions with people is hard but it’s good to put myself in the way and learn to handle it better. Also the feel and sound of the envelopes/magazines and packages sliding into boxes or buckets is endlessly satisfying to me
I became an academic because it was a perfect fit for me. Obsession is encouraged. If you frequently publish in good journals, you can basically do whatever you want.
English Roberts I want to get away from retail so bad. The bad part of it is that I'm good at my job. I have a lot of customers who say that they prefer me. But, I just feel so depleted. I tell my therapist this and she still recommends other customer service jobs (ones in tech because I like tech). Just because a person is good at something doesn't necessarily mean that job is right for them. I look at each day as an act basically. I'd love to be able to write for a living. I'd be fine with being a night watchman. Or, just unpacking boxes by myself I suppose. Anyway, I hope you can find a good non-retail job.
As a female adult aspie living in North Queensland, I find the social interaction the hardest bit and I hate stepping on egg shells when I just want information or to give information. If You just say the facts without all the flourishing to make people feel warm and fuzzy, you get completely ostracized and judged. I find some NT people will attach emotion to something you say directly (without emotion) and because I am a female it is doubley bad. The stigma on "all females are supposed to act this way" makes it hard to relay information without getting into knots so you don't offend anyone. I find with men, women in the work place will just accept that person as "he's just being a guy" (which to me is also unfair for men, and quite sexist) but if you respond without the tact and you are a female, OMG the retribution is like a witch hunt. They will assume my lack of emotion is contempt for them as a person (meanwhile in my head I am trying to make sure I am doing all the appropriate things with my movements and face and voice control) and by the time it reaches back to me I have no clue what snowball has been building in the gossip behind a simple response. It is so confusing for me and quite exhausting too. I suppose that is why all of my friends are male (And many are aspie too). If you say something that may not have been tactful, they have already moved on in 10 minutes and are still friendly. I want to thank you for these videos as they make me feel not so isolated. In North Queensland, it is very hard to find support groups
I'm a tactless female too! My god is hard not to upset men. I was thinking about this today actually. Men seem to be programmed from birth to see women as loving, unconditional, nurturing, warm creatures.. so when you're not that way to them they think you're a cold hearted bitch who's out to get them. Blunt honesty is one of my biggest downfalls! It takes me too much energy to tactfully word myself.. and it feels like I'm manipulating the situation for the best outcome, and I'm not into manipulation so it feels wrong to do that.
Amie Joy I don't seem to have as hard a time with NT men. They may not LIKE that I'm not as "motherly and/or sexualised" as they would like, but they seem to eventually accept me as "non-compatible" and move on, but with Neuro-typic women, they are absolutely malicious toward me. They often label me with their own insecurities and I am so lost and confused in the midst of it, they can use that to manipulate people around me. Maybe because I don't conform to what they believe a woman should be or maybe because they just are afraid of my differences, but I have been the fodder for so many women's attacks, I just avoid them completely now. My only women associates, are people who are also on the spectrum or have other challenges, as they never seem to be as judgemental. All you have to do is explain your self and if you're forth-right, you are accepted. I don't worry about those NT attacks normally, as I just leave the scene, but if you are in a work environment, it's an issue you are faced with every day, over and over.
That's makes sense to me! I do get aggressive, dismissive retorts from NT women when I try and explain my mental health issues. Especially one woman at work, she belittles me every time I bring up a mental health topic.. its her insecurities really, she's hopeless, timid and very unaware. I don't even talk to the women at work about relationships anymore because our ideas are so opposing! Honestly, the more I learn about ASD the more I align with it. I'm seeking diagnosis - I stupidly told the women at work I was going to see a psychologist. They instantly shut me down by saying "pfft, everyone feels anxious sometimes! its not just you, you know!". I may have worked with them for 10 years but I've never told them anything about me because I'm met with responses like that.
2:30 Right on point. I've always said to my employers, "don't worry how I get there, worry that I get there." My occupation is perfect for the metric of the finished final product being the bulk of the value. I set tile for a living. I'm also lucky to be in an area where most customers have a preference for and appreciate meticulously done, detail orientated work. As long as I don't end up taking too long to reach my goals, I can do my job anyway I desire. All I need is a very clear solid understanding of how they want it to look. When they ask me if I'm able to do something that would give the work a certain "look" I just reply, "First off, all tile work is personal preference. Now ask yourself, what do you want to look at for the rest of your life? My limitation is the extent of your imagination."
I always told my sister I would never work in fast food or retail. I'm not sure why she always took that the wrong way and it still drives me nuts. She knows I have Asperger's but I don't think she fully understands my problems with working around people?
I worked in fast food during the 8 pm - 2 am shift. I got to do the drive-thru so I didn't have much face to face time but I could pass of the order and move on. Nobady bothered me in the kitchen because I was in my own little spot. That was very productive and measurable. They had me clean the bathrooms and dining room after closing and I did the best job of all of them so I ultimately had to do it all the time (instead of taking turns). I like doing a thorough and efficient job. I take pride in what I produce and once again I didn't have to deal with the emotional BS.
Most people are defensive. If there's a chance something could have a different meaning than the one you intended that insults them, They will usually hear it that way. Saying you'd never work there for most means you think less of the people who do work there. So it helps if you explain further. I would never work there because it wouldn't fit my personality. Thank goodness there are lots of didn't toss of people in the world. Correcting people... I feel like for us we'd like it because we're just like oh thanks! Note i know the fact. Others get huffy and puffy. "You think I'm dumb. You were trying to embarrass me etc" it's hard to believe that all that could be related to a third party bit of info that is not related to intelligence but just exposure.
I find that people take much less offense if, instead of saying "I never would," I say "I never *could*." That kind of shifts the sentence to mean "this is a thing I can't handle, not a thing I object to in itself." ... but, then, i'm very self-deprecating overall and people know that about me. I'm forever calling myself out as a clutz, flake, etc, and I've gotten so good at smiling and laughing at myself that no one else takes anything I say too seriously. It's sad, but it's easier for me to pretend to be a silly-but-good-natured fool than it is for me to be my actual self. At least, this way, no one gets angry or offended.
I am not one of those stereotypical aspies that is good at computers and numbers. I am also limited by not having a college degree though I am working on it. I need a job that I can hold now. I still have no idea what to do with my life or where my talents lie.
I think it's a myth that people one day figure out what they 'want to do with their life'... does it really ever happen? Maybe to some, but the rest of us just take one step at a time.
That makes a lot of sense, Rhys (awesome name btw!) I have some interest in writing music or learning how to play an instrument even though the very idea of either really intimidates me. I also have tried in the past to learn some butoh dance moves at home, though it been awhile. Maybe I should get back to that. I have always wanted to learn a martial art as was this close to attend akkido lessons in the next town over. Parkour is also something I've been dying to learn. I am not all that physically fit though. I may have to work out a bit first. I am interested in so many things, its hard to pick one to run with.
A little late, but you mentioned an interest in music. My girlfriend (kind of, it's complicated) is also really into music (she sees it as magic, i see it as math, but we both love the feeling it gives us and others, and the kind of "universal language" nature of music -- humans are hard, music is easy) and she's actually managed to translate that into a career. She didn't even want to go to college despite my encouragements, then she found a music program and dove in headfirst. Now she's an occupational therapist who specialized in music therapy. Because she's seldom dealing with more than a single person at a time, it's not hugely stressful, and the feeling of helping others is hugely validating for her. I don't think anyone (well, 90% of people) really knows what they want to do with their lives, but you can't go wrong if you take an interest and pursue it. Probably, lol. My writing "career" is going nowhere fast :D But the point is that it worked for her! It's important to remember that not every interest SEEMS like it has a corresponding career, but that there's a huge variety of jobs and needs out there to be filled, especially if you're willing to get creative.
I know your comment was made over a year ago but something that might be worth looking into is Open University. It’s an online university (great if you don’t like/want extensive social interactions) and you can get in even without qualifications (hence the ‘open’ in the name!). And graduates have an 80 percent employment rate, I met a nurse who studied at OU who’s now working at the top hospital in my city 😃 you can study physics, law, there’s a variety of great subjects. Obviously if uni is not for you ignore this comment but from your comment it seems you’re open to going to uni/gettinga a degree and if so I think OU would be great.
It's funny because I'm a care giver for adults with Intellectual/developmental disabilities. I couldn't hug and feel safe before but they brought it out of me. I preform in group settings and be active in the group.
A lot of the jobs I've had, have been performance based on speed. They have never lasted that long because speed is a weakness of mine. Part of the speed is due to co ordination.
Speed and coordination! All my life I thought I was just too dumb and stupid to do basic stuff that everyone around me has no problem doing. Finding out that I'm on the spectrum has cleared so much up for me!
Perhaps it is a matter of time for you. I am relatively slow at jobs to start but at a certain point I find a better way to do the job and become the fastest that has ever done it. I have done this my whole life. I am slow until I know the job, then I make it simpler.
I'm a courier and I love it! I get to spend the vast majority of my day in the car singing (something I love to do), and listening to podcasts that interest me. I don't have to think about the job at hand much, and I can completely focus on listening to things that interest me. I'm in heaven! The only downside, is that sometimes I have to contain my anger when someone does something stupid or inconsiderate on the road, but I'm getting better at it, and I am becoming more tolerant as time goes by. It is a struggle sometimes though...
I enjoyed driving the school bus because although you had lots of kids, they weren't directly talking to me. I had issues with stupid driver too. The part I hated was going into the lobby-lunch area to wait for the shift. I felt awkward because I didn't want to share my business and people talk about dumb things.
I just realized I love working by myself, I have been doing home office these last years and is totally stress free I dont have to deal with silly office politics and can totally focus on the job.
I wish I could go to an interview and work for a company, without having to analyze and go through my negative past in the process. Not to mention, the weird social interactions. People assume you are just lazy when you have no job.
Just wanna say thank you for all of these videos. I was diagnosed at 25 and I'm 28 now. I've been struggling with finding good information to help me understand what my entire life has apparently been. But thanks to you, I have that now. You're awesome.
Being a teacher is also a great job for aspies. When you're teaching, it's different from socializing. The vibe is different, because you can plan your lessons, and teach according to the plan. You also don't need to worry about the social cues, since you're mostly interacting with children or teenagers who are more explicit and direct with their intentions
I have an Education degree and actually found teaching to be awful. You’re surrounded by people all day, constantly “on”, and there’s a lot of circling around and monitoring which made my feel extremely awkward and unsure.
I have to counter that…for those with misophonia or hyperacusis it can become a bit much. Did it for 21 years and 2 years just realized I could not do it anymore….too exhausting mentally. But it could have also been the change in grade level as I went from hs which is more laid back to 8th graders 😩😩😩.
Working in public schools in the USA has been hell for me, due to the sensory environment that I have little control over. Noisy, smelly, too bright and too much small talk & social expectations with other educators. Schools love to say "we are all a family" so you are willing to accept horrible conditions, abuse and live like a martyr for the the cause.
@@taymacintyre6735 I don't know about that, but the children here in Asia are a lot different. I remember I taught at a school where the students were nice and disciplined. If I had any problems with them, I could just report them to the headmaster, and she always had my back
I work in sales and the social quirks that make it difficult for me to make friends make me the best sales person in the company. My coworkers and bosses love how blunt I am because it catches clients off guard and I don’t waste time making small talk. My lifetime of observing people to improve my masking has also made me really good at picking up on certain cues and predicting behavior. I’m really good at customer service but usually hate sitting down for a for a friendly chat unless it’s someone that’s chipped their way to my inner circle. I’m still exhausted by customer service, but working on commission gives me a boost in energy when I make a big sale.
@@raz5003 unfortunately the follow up to my previous comment is that I developed severe depression that turned out to be autistic burnout from this job. Almost a year after leaving I’m feeling somewhat back to normal. The masking required for that job was literally killing me 😕
@@raz5003 I was dealing with them in person since I was working in an art gallery, but now I work from home handling the administrative end of my boyfriend’s snow plowing business. But, yeah. I still get anxious when I have to talk to a client on the phone instead of communicating via email 😬
I am ADHD diagnosed in childhood and I think I may also have aspergers but I am deeply unsure. I have been working as a hairdresser for 7 years and although sometimes it really is a lot of peopling for me, the fact that I am self employed helps me a lot. My coworkers have gotten use to me and are very supportive and help me as much as they can. They also know they can count on me to be excellent at the technical and creative aspects of this job, and to be able to complete complex color corrections and haircut corrections even if I have to tell the client about all of my cats in great detail while I do it. I can also talk about technical aspects of my job to clients for hours which throws some people off guard in a good way and they appreciate my expertice and unending curiosity. Also, all my coworkes can refer all the "weirdos" to me and more often than not we click and they become loyal clients of mine. Besides my cats, hair, make-up, and fashion have been life long obsessions and creative outlets for me which keeps me motivated. All throughout my 20's I felt like I would find a job where I fit in and my coworkers were "my people" but eventually I gave up and just found a place where my coworkers tolerate me.
I have an aspie husband who's a farmer and my aspie son wants to be a tattoo artist like me, his mom. I am all for it because he can draw so well at 9 years old that I'm almost willing to let him tattoo me soon. Just throwing that out there 😊
Brilliant! I've been in retail for 16 years, and really wish I had used my artistic ability when I had it! Aside from my contribution to amateur dramatics I've wasted my life. That creativity has to be perpetuated and maintained, don't let him lose it!
Wow! Brilliant insight throughout - Your example about doing well in 6 hours and then needing to recharge was so helpful! I felt guilty all my life that I needed to go home after I taught my last maths class. I graded papers during lunch because I could not switch gears, socialize for an hour, and then go back to hyper-focus on teaching. It was expected, but not enforced, to stay 8 hours. Eventually I was "incompatible" with a new principal who did not understand. I switched schools despite excellent reviews of my classroom teaching. I have felt guilty about the need to leave work a bit after the last class for many years because I thought I was lazy. Wow! I am perhaps borderline-on-the-spectrum but a good public speaker/classroom teacher - never knew this could be until I found your channel.
I'm not an aspie but in my job, I often work with lawyers. My favourite lawyer is obviously an aspie. He's an absolute champion, he's found his niche and is quickly building a very successful law business himself.
There is no such thing as a job that is good for an aspie. This is my reality. This guy really has no idea how devastating being autistic is when trying to survive on your own.
"Low skilled" is a myth, not that it helps because it is widely accepted. No one, but especially not autistics can actually go through life without acquiring skills. Unfortunately the system puts the total burden of identifying and marketing what skills you do have on you. I like to do skill assessments- there are many free online ones- just take a few or a lot of them, add the results to your resume and see what you discover.
@@randcall5933 Yes, but many jobs are beyond some skill threshold - I will not be programmer without knowing how to program in first place. Or engineer without engineering diploma. I can't put "low skill doesn't exist" into my resume...
Here in the US I'm an over-the-road trucker of over 13 years. I love it. My math skills makes my trip planning exceptionally great. I have an excellent sense of direction. I quickly learn all the roads over the entire country and can get anywhere in the country without a map. I also love being alone out on the road and this job definitely is a performance based job. The better you are and harder you work the more miles you can get in and we get paid by the mile. Only time I deal with people is at shippers & receivers and truckstops. I also pretty much make my schedule.
The best work I've ever done was working alone, self-paced, in the vicinity of people I liked. School was perfect in that sense, hopefully there are enough suitable jobs out there. Thanks for the video
I was a Correctional Officer. I had mad observation skills, a high sensitivity to sound and smell and Officers observe so they can stand together, talk and rarely look at each other all day. Its even better when assigned to external security, you are all by yourself all day!
man that's exactly how I see myself in the future lmao. Sometimes I just space out and daydream about being a professional interegator or someone working for the CIA. Silly stuff I know :)
This is so helpful, thank-you! Makes it so much easier to understand your own motivation, and to not be so hard on yourself when lacking energy after high-performance.
Diagnosed in my 40's after years of gaslighting, ridicule, bullying and misascribed motives, I moved from job to job. Hit my stride in my 30's! I have successfully restructured and run a p-card program for one of the 100 largest school districts in the nation for many years. What I like about working in the education sector is that they tend to be more tolerant and understanding of learning differences (I am active in supporting the Special Ed department and volunteer at their Job Olympics for the kids), and flexible (I have incandescent lighting in my office, electric candles and play music). Having a boss who trusts me to do my job and doesn't micromanage is a GODSEND. When my environment is more comfortable, I'm more relaxed, being able to grow socially, and can be open, spontaneous, and friendly with those I serve (LOTS of customer service). One of my duties in running this program is acting as internal auditor to all the financial statements, so there is a fair amount of detail chasing, data crunching, and sometimes even internet forensics. My ability to hyperfocus is an attribute, not a liability, and everyone here knows I'm an aspie -- so they know I won't be particularly chatty or gossipy. The best part of that? Very little melodrama. They still don't like that I struggle with getting to work on time in the morning, but I'm very honest about that... I've been shamed, ridiculed, humiliated, and punished for it since Kindergarten, to no avail. If negative feedback could cure it, I'd be 1/2 hour early every day already. I also still struggle with leaving a task not completed and have difficulty leaving in the afternoon... so I often leave late. I feel self-conscious about it, but based on how many things I've tried to rid myself of these, I've come to the conclusion that they are not reactive but neurologically wired.
I'm good at writing (not in English, but in my native language), and I try really hard to rely on that ability. By now I'm working as a teacher assistant, but it's far from my dream job. I feel like all the potential I could have in the field is usually overshadowed by socially adequate coworkers and sometimes I can't even make it through a job interview. People tend to misunderstand me or just think that I'm not interested in doing a good job, and I've been awfully stepped by coworkers that assume that I lack ambition at all, which is not true. Quarantine time made me realize that I actually need to go back to studies, try to get a master degree in my area and hopefully in the future I'll be able to have a job where my knowledge is more important than my social skills, I don't know.
I’m 45 and I’ve only figured out I’m an “aspie” in past year. I hadn’t really thought about career stuff yet until this video. Most of my career has been in and around information technology as a consultant with deep-and fairly wide-subject matter expertise. This is NOT what I went to college and grad school for. But I’m damn good at what I do and have even won some international industry awards. I’ve tried a couple of times to make my own company out of this and got burned out, so now I’ve figured out I’m best at doing this for someone I trust who finds my skills to be valuable. And since the pandemic hit and I’ve been working at home, I’ve been able to be super productive at times and give myself space the other times, and overall my output is much higher in quantity and quality than when I had to commute into an office each day. I think I’ll stick with this!
I have found the military life very rewarding. My job is extremely routine, performance-based, and there are clearly defined rules for how to interact with others. I still don't quite fit in among my peers, but I'm accepted and feel some sense of belonging.
...Until you get promoted and they tell you that you NEED to be a leader- assertive, team player, dominating, competitive. Otherwise it's "failure to meet standard" on your NCOER and you get kicked out or branded a toxic leader.
Where I'm at I can only lead 2-4 people for so long until they start expecting me to progress and take more and more responsibilities. Basically their attitude is 'if you aren't on track to becoming command sergeant major you might as well get out.' Not that that's wrong necessarily I admire great leaders and for a while aspired to be one but there's a disconnect somewhere and honestly I've lost all motivation to try and figure it out.
This is the hardest thing in my life right now at 40 years old. I have very little education and can only do simple blue-collar jobs (always around other people, where I don't want to be.) Only last week I understood that I have Asberger/autism which pretty much explains my all life looking back. Currently unemployed and in talks with a psychologist and a doctor for the first time about these issues. Complete no man's land at the moment. Already had 12 jobs in my life and don't have the strength anymore for another round of the same stuff.
This is really helpful to me. I'm 50 and I haven't worked in a long time. I'm not good at dealing with a lot of customers socially. I wish I could be a songwriter or write a book. I'm surviving on disability but it's not how I want to live forever.
As an aspie, the military was a decent work environment for me. It was all about the direct communication environment that I was in. I did what I was told, and did pretty well. I think my unit picked up on me being on the spectrum before I did because even though I was a medic, they put me into supply roles and in charge of layouts and I excelled in those roles. I faced more bullying from lower enlisted because of jealousy than with my senior enlisted in my platoon.
I’m currently having issues with my coworker in my supply job that I have right now. My coworker is passive and I was only told about this by someone from a different department that has worked with this person before. I don’t have good communication with this coworker. I am direct and honest and she says “okay I’ll leave you alone since you’re in a mood”. Which I never understood until others told me it was her dismissing me. I’m currently trying to move to another department because I can’t step on my toes trying to be what I’m not for this person.
🤔I look at the big picture , from corporate / political motivations right down through the society until I'm staring at my hands. Could I pick up a weapon and blast someone's brains out or bayonet another man as he cries for his mother ? Because some people engineered a situation and say it's my duty ? I imagine political leaders sitting on the toilet, all their assumed power disappears .
I love to study so that makes me really good in academia. I am considering going back to school for a masters degree, but I have no idea which field of study to study because ai have a few different interests. I love to preach so I thought about a Master of Divinity degree, although I cannot pastor because I find dealing with people is not the best job for me.i love plants and gardening, design and art types of jobs, i used to be a graphic designer and art director in movies, years ago. I love history and especially interiors of European great houses and royal palaces. There seems to be very specific things that interest me. I just cannot make a decision!
Thanks for this. I've been have A LOT of trouble in my new field of caregiving/nursing assistance for the elderly. Facilities on paper have one set of rules, some of which are based on law. Yet, once at work, one is supposed to somehow know that those rules are NOT to be followed and that 85% of what occurs that is negative needs to actually be ignored or swept under the rug (which I find stupid because it prolongs patient problems that could have been addressed easily early on). There is denial, and outright lying from management about what is really occurring with patients. For example, one patient gets upset every day around 3 PM and cries and tries to leave the facility. I see it, other staff see it, we all deal with it but it's becoming a big problem. Mgmt has told me, outright, "That Doesn't Happen". I say, "It DOES happen and So & So sees it, I see it, everyone sees it." Mgmt says, "No one says that happens. That doesn't happen." I know this seems literally crazy, and it is crazy making for me. Yet I am learning that this is the culture of the eldercare business. I am very sad, because I like caring for elderly, yet I cannot survive in this type of culture. I continue to say, "It IS happening,"...and then as usual, everyone is annoyed by me and/or starts to dislike me. An alternative is to do private one-on-one care. In the end IT IS SO HARD - So hard!!! - to be an Aspie and be able to support oneself financially despite our intelligence and talents.....
K's Thought Palace I have never been diagnosed, but I get outraged at work when I see things swept under the rug because it doesn’t match the truth of the management. This is especially true when I spent a year in the trucking industry. They are always trying to get you to drive when you are out of hours. Or that the load MUST get there on time or the factory will shut down. I quit after a year because of their cheating and lying.
@RightNow Good for you. Yet the older I get, the more I see there is this kind of..corruption..in almost every business! It can exist even on a small level, which still bothers me very much. That bothers me because those little things that are being swept under the rug, if they were addressed they could be fixed early on before they turn into a big issue. To refuse to address problems when they are small just makes zero zero sense to me. IDK where we can work and feel comfortable...unless we find ways to work for ourselves?
Yes. BS at work seems to be a universal virus, brought on by basic flaws in homo sapiens as a species........sometime in the future homo sapiens will go by the wayside just as Neanderthol(etc) went. Hoping the next evolutionary step of mankind will be free of such flaws. Until then, Yes, it would be nice for those of us are just not willing or able to put up with it any longer, can all figure out a way to work for ourselves. I think its called leaving the Matrix.
I’m a guitar teacher, having turned away from corporate HR after over 20 years. My executive functioning was inconsistent and I had a knack for prioritising the things I either enjoyed or was just fascinated by. I became a source of knowledge, but was constantly being distracted by questions. I also found the moving goalposts and targets difficult to deal with. I liked the social side, but also found it exhausting. Some days you couldn’t shut me up, other days I would have preferred being invisible. Now I’m in control of the content of my work and it’s my specialism in life. I have no boss. I get to talk about my favourite subject all week.
I don’t think being an “Aspie” myself but I recognize many aspects you mention. Hating the unneeded sugarcoating, the benefit of seeing directly the performance of the job done, using the most productive hours then stop at some point as my energy is simply exhausted for the day. I think it’s also very valid and relevant for people out of the Autism scale
What you described resonates with me 100%! I’m not diagnosed, but I always feel better in tasks that are “boring” performance based, I was always creative when it comes to finding my own way to do things faster, more effective, planning my tasks, the whole process step by step to get more things done at the same time without getting overwhelmed. But when I get thrown to customer service I struggle a lot. I try my best and I still get feedback like “modulate your voice! Have a little smile! Look in their eyes!” Etc. the only job that was good for me was in a warehouse. I got promoted short after I got hired and I became the manager, my boss was super happy because everything was done and in order! I feel like I really need an aspie friendly job in order to keep my mental health in a good condition. Otherwise I have depression, panic attacks and I endlessly wonder what’s wrong with me, this is the question of my life that I always hear.
Thanks for this video! I'm no Aspie, but in some ways I can relate (I'm quite the introvert and have social anxiety). Ironically on my work I had to deal with over-the-top stress, long shifts, and impossibility to have any sort of routine, for so long that I realised I need a change. Sometimes I get terrified by the thought that maybe I'm unsuitable for any kind of employment, but you video gave me a bit more motivation to keep on searching.
I was working as an RN for five years. The stress level and constant patient social interaction was very draining. Also every day in the hospital setting is different. Going in each day not knowing what floor I may be working on or what patients I would have or how long I'd have to stay past my 12 hour shift made it very hard to control my emotions. I now work in a warehouse where I have little social interaction and do the same thing the entire day, every day. A lot of people think I'm wasting my potential, but I'm very happy and have no work related stress. It supports me financially and it's a boring job to most but it's relaxing to me.
I’m a nurse and worked in the operating room for many years. My patients were asleep! The staff has a lot of autonomy and you work with people who have their one part to play ( anesthesia, scrub nurse, Rn, etc) This worked great for me.
People have told me many times that I need to get a job to have a sustainable income in order to follow my passion for making TH-cam videos, but I could never get it to feel right until now. I always looked at it as, "Sacrifice time you could spend doing what you love, in order to make money doing something you hate." So it would never last long, because I would get exhausted and quit. But thanks to you I see that it's really, "Make easy money quickly so you have more time to do what you love." Seeing it that way makes me so excited for the future. Thank you so much for making videos. You relieve so much frustration and pain by helping me understand why I am the way I am, and you explain "obvious" "normal" things in a way that actually makes sense to me.
This is probably why I am not a huge fan of my current job. It is not well defined, I don't get good solid feedback, it's open ended, I don't get to clock out therefore I'm always exhausted, and the primary thing I do is complex social interaction. To be fair I saw that I had a deficiency and I picked a job that I thought would improve that deficiency before I found out that my brain is literally wired different, and that was a super bad idea.
Gm of a pizza place. I enjoy some aspects of the job but I feel like it's immensely difficult and exhausting to try to constantly form and retain the long-term relationships needed to maintain a team, not to mention dealing with some of the very mean "I want to talk to the manager" types. I took the job because i wanted to improve myself, but 3 years later I feel unhappy on a very visceral level. Very few if any of the people I work with like me because I'm boring ( I think they're boring tbh) and I feel stuck because I cant go anywhere else to make more money. So I continue going in and then coming home and drinking and smoking myself to death. I guess this is just they way it is for some of us.
Toastbuster is it possible for you to apply for a different kind of job? Maybe you can take a menial job like night janitor in addition to GM in order to pay for an apprenticeship program?
I'm far too awkward and ugly for anything else. I've played out a thousand scenarios out in my head and all of them lead to me failing and being socially unacceptable to those around me. The amount of social anxiety I have is very embarrassing for a 28 year old man and it leads me to be defensive and aggressive towards some people. Even my superiors know I'm a broken awkward person they just don't have anyone trustworthy enough and responsible enough at the moment. I just wasn't designed to play this game, but if I don't I have nothing and nobody to rely on. I would love to be a different person and just feel normal, just be able to relate and make small talk with those around me and be genuinely engaged in other people . I put on the face of confidence every day I go to work and pretend to be strong but I cant talk to anyone there because I'm supposed to be the person they go to with their problems. I see a very negative ending to my story.
Homeless, high school dropout at age 19, married and owning a house at age 24. In my case, I fell into a career in land surveying. I'm very good at it (minus the skillset gaps) I love doing it and it's a good living. It has made me the hundredaire that I am today. I figured out that I'm an Aspy in my late 40's. Paul, you give great advice and comfort. Keep it up.
I'm 60 years old. My 4th child has Aspergers. He was exhausting to raise, but I really felt like I understood him and connected with his feelings. Now that I have time to reflect and think, I look back and recognize that the reason I "get him" is because I too have Aspergers. As a teacher, I am super passionate about curriculum and delivery of it. I have always been tortured with social interaction and tend to effortlessly piss people off and often have no idea why they are angry. What I thought was an ability to be adaptable to different situations was really just "masking" to accommodate my need to survive in social interactions. The overwhelming mental exhaustion that would follow led to depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. I have not been diagnosed as an aspie officially, but your videos resonate so deeply with me, and I appreciate the clarity they bring.
First it’s harder for us to pass an interview. Then it’s very difficult to navigate through office politics/office gossip. I hope there’s a coping method.
Diagnosed with Aspergers at 30, and spent 9 years prior to in the military. The routine and structure was very helpful, and they largely left me alone to do the work the way I wanted to. Now I'm retired and in nursing school since medical science has been my fascination since I could walk. Use to steal my mothers medical books when I was able to carry them.
Both of my current jobs are delivery jobs. I am very good with maps and directions and I only deal with customers for limited times so I am able to have good interactions. If that time were to be prolonged then I would have more time to slip up during the interaction.
You put it into words! This does explain why I find my job so enjoyable. I work with autistic toddlers and preschoolers, and not only do I find interacting and playing with them really fun, I am also completely free to set the therapy goals and work towards them the way I see fit, which means a lot of flexibility. And by the end of the school year the outcomes are clearly measurable. The culture at my specific organisation is also very supportive on open communication, collaboration and professional growth, and I get weekly training by a far more experienced therapist which gives me a lot of feedback. Thanks to you articulating all of this, I will know exactly what to look for in the future when searching for a job. Thank you!
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The hardest part about working a job for me is ALWAYS the social aspect. I don't understand the subtle "games" coworkers and managers play, where they're having power struggles, throwing each other under the bus, etc - all while being perfectly friendly to each others' faces. It just doesn't compute. If you don't know how to play the game, you lose by default.
Well said. This situation is intensified when working in the restaurant industry. People are insanely manipulative at those jobs because everyone is competing for tips , and hours and people can act like a pack of wolves while grinning to one another 24/7 and I never understood where i stood with anyone. Could never hold down any given restaurant for more than a year or two. Not because i wasn't great at my job because i was, but i had no clue how to interact with the servers or guests.
Oliver Hatched
: I understand the games, but they stress me out anyway.
Your resume and experience may get you the job, but to thrive in the workplace you need to be able to play the games. Any job worth having is competitive, any competitive job will have a lot of game playing.
I think its because when we born until the rest of our lives, our culture planted in our society the capitalist way of politics and economics, based on over-competition and over-individualism.
This so much!
I'm 80 years old and was diagnosed at age 72. That explained my life to me after trying to figure it all out on my own without the help of professionals. The brain is really a magical and mysterious thing.
irma jay Do you take any meds for brain health ? If so, since what age ?
You are so right about the brain. Sometimes I think we shouldn't be entrusted with it :-) Even when it's not "typical" it's beyond awesome!
irma jay wow hopefully it was the missing piece in the jigsaw 🧩 puzzle for you. It helps to put things into a context so we can accept all of that we are and what we are
I was finally diagnosed at 65 when I got Medicare and had the time. I suspected it for at least 15 years, but never had the time to look into it. Like so many others, how much less stressful my life would have been if I'd had help as a child and along life's way. All I have done is simply survive as if I was drowning in a raging river for years on end. But I did reasonably well; it just has been extremely costly.
Diagnosed at 39.... it explained a lot.
I love certain types of low-skilled, manual tasks because it's easy to think about other things while I'm doing them. I view it as a kind of meditation, honestly.
Same 🙏
Dig, dig, chop, chop... a strange monotonous peace abounds 🙏
Haha. I love seeing other people say what's in my head! Just a shame that those jobs don't pay well
I totally agree. Those were/are my favourite. I ran into chronic hand pain issues though - so to fellow aspies (or anyone) who thinks like us and enjoys those jobs - make sure not to overdo it, take breaks, and don't ignore small pain signals (signs you need a break or change of position or massage or whatever!) :)
Same here!
I am working at a kindergarten. This is the ideal job for me (Aspie, but on the lower end of the spectrum), because children are interacting in a direct way, they don't use irony or sarcasm and they just talk about their feelings and don't hold them back (because they can't, ideal for me!!) Of course there will always be problems with the team / the other adult workers, but that is tolerable for me.
(Almost) same here. I'm an elementary school teacher and love working with kids.
Anna Maria S. I have a daycare center. love the kids, the adults drive me crazy.
Yes, in our team, there are lots of men
Same! I'm a kindergarten teacher. I just lost my job today. Not really lost it but I was a part time substitute and the teacher I was substituting just came back. They kind of hinted they'll employ me full time as a maternity leave substitute but they took someone else instead even though she hasn't passed state qualifying examination yet and I have and I've been working there longer. I do like working with kids for the reasons you described but I just don't know how to socialize with my co-workers and I also suck dealing with parents. Headmaster said they loved how I work but then why didn't you give me a new contract???! I'm completely lost. I gave my everything to be the best as I can and now I feel like a failure.
Great to see comments from other teachers too!
I tried and failed at sales, waiting tables... I was ok as a teacher... Now I'm a programmer. So stereotypical. I spent most of my life trying to swim upstream and overcome my difficulties. I finally realized it's much more productive and less stressful to capitalize on my strengths, and work on trying to overcoming my weaknesses as a hobby.
I'm looking to get into programming myself. A company is going to provide a traineeship as soon as they find a fitting assignment which is taking a long time in this current climate. Would you have any tips? I'm pretty excited about it. Even though dropping a significant amount of salary initially from my job in finance.
@@gerardvdpl4409 I wish I could! I'm good at learning things, but getting jobs... I don't even have much trouble with interviews, really, but getting them in the first place, without a CS degree and only a year or less of experience... It's pretty rough, man.
I did one of the things where you do 3 months of training, and you agree to work for them for relatively low pay for 2 years... They said everyone got placed usually within a month, but unless you do something terrible or just aren't trying, they'll keep setting up interviews while paying you training pay, however long it takes...
COVID hit exactly when training completed. They got me like 2 or three interviews over the next 5 months, nothing came of them, and then they told me I was "furloughed" due to the unexpected circumstances. So now I'm back on the job search, with less than two years of experience, half of which was actually just training.
Good luck!
@@a8lg6p ahh okee, that is too bad to hear. The pandemic really sucks =/. Thanks anyway, Im sure things will pick up soon, good luck as well!
The first time I tried to wait a table I had a full blown panick attack.
Honestly, that's the spirit! Haha
I try to make a game out of everything.
Esp the stuff thats hard for me
I'm an Aspie with a 149IQ and I enjoy being a delivery driver. Everybody tells me I'm wasting my life/talents but I enjoy being alone with my thoughts and on the flipside concentrating on the road helps me to switch those thoughts off when it gets too noisy up there. The limited social interaction with regular customers is also good because it's not too overwhelming and it helps me from becoming too antisocial. Also the performance based aspect mentioned in the vid, as long as I finish my run in good time I get to pretty much plan my own day. Just a pity the money's not better.
Godfrey Ozzy my iq is 125 but visually i am the 90% percentile and have found exactly the same thing delivering for the previous 4 months.. atm i am an english nanny aupair in china so am enjoying playing with a 2/3 year old as i can be imaginative as possible without any anxiety coming over... but learning the chinese language is proving fun cause of the all the symbols that is not easy but easier than for most people & cause it's an interest it's proving quite a fun process... would dream to make a tech startup but not quite there as a person
I do the same thing with more or less the same IQ. I can't say I like it but it mostly keeps me on my own. Honestly , I wish things were different.
I haven't taken a real iq test but a quick online test I scored a 138.
I grew up working in a whs and learned/memorized thousands of code numbers. Where they were in the whs and could close my eyes and visualize where everything. I then took on the task of figuring out where everything needed to go.
Then I picked up delivery driving and got my CDL. I delivered to schools and could remember exactly what freezers/coolers everything went after a couple times. I could go back to the school years later and instantly remember where everything went.
Now I deliver bulk sugar and it's by the delivery. It's close to the same thing everyday but I get to use enough problem solving skills that it keeps my brain active. But being able to drive and just think for hours is so peacefull to me. I love my alone time. :)
@@pcoldlight5631 Do you have a set route? I always hate going places for the first time. The unknown and worrying about geting stuck worries me. But getting my big rig into tight spots allows me to use problem solving skills. I hope everything works out for you. Or you find a job you enjoy more. I'm saving up to buy my own truck. If you get into the right type of work. You can make more that doctors delivering high end stuff.
Dan Lyons hi , sorry took me a few days to get back to you, I only just saw yr reply . To answer ur questions. I have a route that differs every day , but is the same each week. I too find the new delivery first time stressful, however I think everyone does. For me the stress comes when I revisit the same people over and over again and I feel they expect me to converse with them. That's the difficulty for me. It's hard to hide long term. The money's good with overtime . I earned 900 quid last week , my best week I work through an agency . However after about 8 months on this contract I feel about to get caught. By that I find it difficult when I am back in the yard and have to appear normal. It overpowers me so might be time to move on. I used to have my own lorry but had problems with the O license. I am thinking of private hire or maybe training as a driving instructor. Basically something that's keeps me mostly on my own. Honestly I wish things were different but as I get older I realise they are probably not going to change . Thanks for ur reply and I wish you well.
I am a dentist. It is a very social-based profession, but the thing is - what I do, I do alone and I have no boss, the nurse takes care of the patient and all the patient and I talk about are their conditions, no awkward small talk, no looks, since i always analyze their mouth and so on. Overall a very good fit, I made the right decision.
The most annoying thing for me is am a nurse so much social interaction with intricacies.... thank God now I'm perioperative Nurse now... In theater less unnecessary noise..so much better
haha smart
immobilize them so they cant talk 😂
wish i thought of that !
Good to hear man!
Yah and the patient cant talk while you work. Pretty smart move haha
Not everyone has the luxury or intelligence to become a dentist 😂
This may shock people, but I found my ideal job to be in the park service. Dare I say its like I've turned my nature of being able to store and talk about one kind of information for hours into something I'm literally paid for. Its ironic since people would think aspergers would make me not want to talk, but people expect someone who has all this information in this position. They want to hear from someone who loves the parks and has all the answers.
makes sense :)
That's wonderful to hear. My son has been saying he wants to be a park ranger because he loves nature. I'm really glad to hear from someone else that this will be a good job where he'll likely be happy. :D
two birds with one stone
Repetition of the topic is the clue 👌🏻
Thus lies the importance of the distinction between asocial & antisocial.
I love people, but I am quite terrible at interacting with them (in the way which they expect/want me to interact with them).
I’m an aspie working happily as a disability support worker. I have a great connection with people who are autistic. What I always thought was my downfall and disability has become a great gift and hidden ability. I’ve been able to tap into their minds with little effort and introduced them to personally tailored games and activities they enjoy and look forward to. Smiles and laughter from clients who were apparently unapproachable and anti social. They come to me when they feel a meltdown coming. Suddenly I’m useful and feel I have a deep purpose in life. Now I’m just so grateful for being different. 🥰
I want to work with autistic people (I’m autistic) and reading this has made me so happy!
@@neurodivergentdawn it’s a win win situation. Your life will have new meaning and you’ll be making a difference in people’s lives. Go for it. 👍😃
@@1RandomMiss Thank you so much!!
That emoji lookin very sus not gonna lie.
Just curious what education was required to do what you’re doing?
The reason I’m asking is I have a daughter with Asperger’s in college with an AA Social Science (psychology focus) taking a few education courses, hoping to be a teacher assistant for elementary/pre-school students, but this also sounds like very rewarding work.
I am a london black cab driver. Its the best job for me. Im my own boss, got my own routine, dont have to talk to no one, no eye contact. Also im the best cab driver in london which i feel is down to having aspergers.
What a taxi driver who doesn't talk about mindless shit like football?
i don't think this possible
How is your business going with the uber and shit
Well here in the US, *all* of our cab drivers are black.
Same here too only job I have been able to keep for over a year
Pretty much have to be Aspie to be able to learn "The Knowledge". Good for you.
I’m a cleaner, it’s one the less stressful jobs there is simple straight forward and no human interaction.
I used to run up and down stairs carrying a really heavy hoover in one hand. I mean, we weren't supposed to put it down. Probably because of Taylor. And they didn't even want the place to be clean. Sometimes menial labor is just sabotage.
I hate cleaning! 😠 I've done it for ten years at a community college and I'm currently doing it at a hotel. And I wanted a front desk position so I could work with a computer and be around people.
I found it hard to follow the huge list of things to clean on my mental list and got fired from a cleaning job for missing cob webs in a teachers office at the school I was working, its frustrating.
Did you ever receive a sting by a bee?
All my adult life I worked in a corporate customer service area. When I retired I started working as a janitor for a small manufacturing company. After 6 months I received a title, promotion, and raise because I had transformed the facility into a beautiful clean space.
It is the best job I’ve ever had, I wish I had discovered it earlier.
I need a job where I don’t have to deal with people
Self employment
@@eesaarashid1954 but you have to deal with people if you are self employed because you don't get paid unless a person pays you, and on top of that you have to get clients yourself if you are self employed
Tough one. Gardener?
@@Sr19769p .....bank robber :P
@@undeadpresident Haha!
Pros of asperger’s: I’ve written my master’s Thesis in 3 days, 100 pages on competition law 😂 with a great result. But When I’m working on something I don’t drink, eat, wash, Clean the house, the world doesnt exist for me :D
I passed my teacher state qualifying examination after reading through outdated notes a night before the exam, something that takes others 2 months.
I have just been diagnosed with Asperger's and this makes so much sense! When I was in college every paper I wrote over my major and my passion I made a 100 on every time and had to restrain myself from writing more than the amount required. But then every other paper I had to write for any other topic I just barely made it through the paper getting a B or C grade.
you used the bubble trick then or something akin to it where basically nothing outside what you are doing or focused on exists whatsoever, time is irrelevant, there is no thoughts of the past, no dread of the future, no hunger, no maintenance, but your focus, energy, inspiration, motivation, etc, is on a scale most people cant even fathom. however, once you get out of that bubble, it can be very hard to get back in it.
@@ghostofsilence2697 Yes, getting in "the zone" :D
For me, it's mostly very hard to get out of the zone.
@@ghostofsilence2697 oh, I know what you mean :D I don't really like starting to learn and it is really hard for me to start, but as soon as I'm learning, it's really hard to even speak with me.
Sometimes I don't even hear someone directly beneath me.
The biggest anxiety i have is running into toxic environments unknowingly.
Because I am uncontrollably stubbornly uncompliant.
I guess compliance is the social nerve that aspergers lack.
Terry Tong I hear you on that
I am compliant if something is logical, but I tend to question everything that doesn't make logical sense and employers don't seem to like that, they just want you to do as told without thinking... so I can relate.
I don't really understand when someone can make something more efficient and better for the task/result and yet it isn't done. It frustrates me and I have great difficulty just doing something incorrectly or poorly just to complete the task. I like things to be better than minimal. Environments where they encourage and reward the extra effort you put in for their benefit are the best places to work... unfortunately these work places are getting harder and harder to find these days.
Hi, Terry. I hear where you are coming from. I weigh "is it reasonable, is it helpful" and if the answers are both "yes", I'm compliant, but if not, a lil' internal gyroscope kicks in and I'm off in my own direction. It's often not good strategy, but as you say, uncontrollable.
I love to comply. Follow the rules and confront ppl who are breaking them. No wonder they don't like me. I'm like a hall monitor--what are you doing, where are u going, and get out of here.
@@JAMQWERT I'm the same way. Its exhausting.
I work as a full time cabinet maker, very repetitive and I can build a cabinet in routines. I even have a sign on my bench, "An Aspie At Work".
i think certain contruction trades are great since they dont require any personal skills and you can kind of do your own thing and typically your day and the project are pre-planned
,,BULLSHIT, ALL OF IT!!!
The *cabinet minister*, the whole business!
You got us all here to do your dirty work."
That's a tad too arrogant, isn't it?
I just accept this and don't give a f*ck
That is my dream job
Anything freelance. Jobs which don't require as much interpersonal interaction: Long distance truck driver. Funeral home cosmotologist. Dog trainer. Legal researcher. Many types of repairman. A lot of forestry jobs.
I LOVE doing freelance work as an independent contractor. The frustrating aspect is GETTING PAID for my work! Some NT's seem to think that freelance means "free labor". I've come close to having to sue because of wage theft. Why do people try to cheat others out of a paycheck they've already earned?
I used to work as a freelancer and I really struggled. Now I came back to my first job, I am a teacher and I love it.
Pat McCoy have you been to freelancersunion.org?
Truck driver, because when you have a driver manager that let's you do your job, it becomes the best thing. The last few jobs I had, had narcissistic managers who didn't communicate, or let me do my job. I had to be part of their, "Clique" first.
I like how a lot of us refer to typicals as "humans." Lol sometimes it feels like we're not human. At least for me.
So true
In the past, comparisons between aliens similar to the Vulcans, feral children, and even changelings have been found. Those on the spectrum may have inspired the changeling myth.
Looking back over my life, I've only just realised that other people have always felt a bit like foreign territory for me. I spent much of my working life in other countries, and it kind of balanced out.
I'm living & working in a foreign country, and it's definitely easier where a passport & visa are needed than the "foreign country" of home-country suburbia...
I do this very, deliberately. There is a big difference between a person and a human. Never forget, that behind every person lurks the human.
In the past I kept performing so well at my jobs that I would end up being pushed into leadership or supervisory roles which I hate because of people. I had to quit one job because they were going to make me a department manager. I finally found a place that lets me perform my hyper focused work without the threat of being promoted and I love it.
What kind of field did you figure out works for you?
I learned after many experiences like that to accept one promotion, preferably non-supervisory and then dig in my heels and refuse any more. Also got pretty comfortable with what I call my Dread Pirate Roberts Pitch: pay me more or I just might leave, could be any day now, pay me more or I am gone.
@@peepeepooopoo I was working as a metrologist, programming a cmm and creating ppap reports for automotive stamping. I got into that position to get out of a supervisory role as a cnc programmer. Then I found myself being promoted to the quality manager when I decided to leave. I am now at a much more supportive company that allows me to focus on cmm programming. I've managed to automate so much of my job that I have had time to teach myself powershell, javascript, sql, html, css, vba and excel programming and have built several applications that the company uses. I love working on computers, I understand them more than people lol.
@@8Platinum8 I would have happily taken the money, but I thought I was dying from the stress and anxiety.
@@philmacdonald2087 yes im autistic i get it
I’m 66 and just learning I’m autistic. Some background in Nursing but ended up working in a Lab as a quality control Chemist. I test very high. I always did see myself as an alien on the planet. I now feel ‘normal’ knowing I’m autistic. Finally found my peeps.
🥳👏👏👏
Working with animals is great too! People suck. :P
What do you mean "their cunts" the animals? Why would you mention their cunts?
Oh you mean "they're cunts" right.
Haha nice joke, the joker.
Kaori Kinoko i found that out a few days ago ^^
dogs are the best people
Some animals suck too.
I need to look into that i understand animals way to well xD my friend was stroking my cat and i literally judt storked his tail and he left my friend i said to him you give him too much attention you need to wait and he'll let you know and he let him know but my freind didnt notice it to my freinds the cat just loves me and his owner thats it xD
I know this video was posted a long time ago, but to this day, my favorite job was working on a farm as a sheep Milker. Very repetitive, outside time, lots of freedom to think, and I got to be with animals. I miss it so much.
Animals are the best!
Best job in the world for an Aspie is University lecturer as you are surrounded by Aspies and you don't stand out as odd. Arts or Science, doesn't matter - whichever you're best at. The worst job for you as an Aspie is one where you are surrounded by neuro-typicals - you will be under constant stress.
That's true! My last job was a huge failure for me because social rules, being nice and adequate were the most important things. I actually enjoy my field - languages and literature - but I quickly disappeared under a mass of fake smiles and nice words. I desperately wanted to give real opinions or even explaining my struggles, but it felt like it would be so awkward that I just gave up everytime. I've spent the last few years feeling terribly incompetent, but now I'm working at home because of quarantine and guess what, I'm being 100% productive and creative.
Disagree, universities are crammed with highly competitive neurotypical enforcers.
Wow, university lexturer! I guess i should go do that and quit my trucking job. I always thought i would need significant college education to do that. I didnt know university lecturer was attainable to the average aspie. Next thing i need to know is how apply for such a job. It seems like a loft position where you might need to (socially) know someone to get in.
Yeah that’s if you can make it through a PhD and deal with office politics
@@zwatwashdc We must never forget the cruelty of our ancestors' most "advanced societies", I think. The Athenians and the Six Nations have had periods in which pretty much everyone is doing terrible things. These are the places in which the healthiest and most normal minds shine out to guide posterity towards the real goods of life. And there evidently aren't infinite supplies of them.
I think if the day comes again on which the universal unelected brain trust isn't tangled up in new Hurons, everything will get pretty freaky.
I'm a nurse and work in charge of an aged care facility at nights and this works really well with Asperger's. The residents communicate directly with a humility that I love so much and it's nice and quite. No extra staff, no family, no Day management etc...I get to quietly make a difference in the world without feeling overwhelmed, and it's so rewarding. Humans usually disappoint me, but the elderly are so open and loving.
It's like I have one massive family at work and I get to go visit them regularly and get paid 💕
Yeses love that! Social jobs are so worth it!
My brother is a Barrister in UK. He has many excellent Aspie lawyers working for him. He comments that their detail for attention & motivation to achieve is excellent. He believes that those lawyers who are Aspie have a superior attitude to work & produce perfectly detailed, straight forward presentations, especially for court purposes. My daughter was diagnosed aged 9, 6 months ago. We worried constantly about her future. My brother has been instrumental in reassuring us that she will have a very fulfilling future. Great video's, please keep them coming!
Nero 別のネロ Same here!! My goal as a newly-diagnosed 30-something aspie is to be a lawyer! (Likewise, I love the aspects of writing and debating!)
The U.S. legal field seems aspie friendly but is actually extremely neurotypical because of the bar’s mental fitness requirements and other employment discrimination practices. Plus the only good jobs are found through networking and a large part of the job is courting new clients. It’s a struggle to find the jobs that don’t include the social complications even though most lawyers I meet are not exactly sociable.
I did good not great at mattress sales here in the U.S., because it is somewhat formal and goal-directed.
So much better than the aimless “small talk” at parties!
i like to work without anyone around or at lest no one looking over me. I get the work done if nothing changes all of the sudden.
I'm the same way!
Same..it’s hard cause my family and friends force themselves at me to make me social ...you’ll get used to it they said..sigh
Performance anxiety.When your so worried about other people’s thoughts,feelings,opinions and judgements that you literally can’t perform?
I want to give this five likes
This covid crisis where i'm forced to work from home is a godsend for me
I'm an Aspie and a HGV Driver. Perfect job for me because I am alone in my lorry all day, don't have to talk to anyone and can listen to my radio all day, my routes are pre planned and I generally know what I'm doing and where I am going the day before so I know what to expect when I go in the next morning so can be prepared.
I get to travel to some beautiful places and get well paid for doing so, and my lorry is my personal space that nobody else can invade. I love it!
The Highway Cowboy I am becoming aware of my condition at a time I'm changing career paths. Truck driving has been on my mind. . .
I'm a woman and that was always one of my dream jobs. I love driving, travelling and I love being alone. But being a truck driver in Europe can be dangerous in some parts of the continent, so I passed on that.
Why didn't my mother teach me to drive? I'd be willing to deliver pizzas.
@@potatoO0o Maybe you can drive for some other type of job? I had a friend who drove to deliver wine to stores & restaurants in an approximate 500 square mile area. There must be a way for you to do what you love. All the best.
@@Adven4U1 Hi. Try foodpanda or glovo with a bike then!
Five years later and this is still very helpful advice. It reminded me that the custodian at my high school had a PhD and loved his job because it paid well and gave him time to think. He was a really good guy, too. The job wasn't very social but he was always kind to the students and took us seriously in a way not many adults did.
I feel like i'm practically unemployable honestly. I'm 48 and was a freelancer for a couple of decades due to this. I'm again trying another career. We shall see how it works.
@Impulse Covid kinda stopped any real efforts. But i'm trying to get into an LCSW program.
@Impulse I have a lot of hurdles to go through though. Finding a school I don't have to do Math prereq's. I think I found one though. I'm dyslexic with numbers. It's no fun at all. If I have to so complex math I'm not gonna be happy. Statistics is one of the classes I might have to do and that's if I get a high enough math score in testing. Anyways... A long road ahead.
I feel the same. A couple decades younger, overqualified yet lacking "real" experience due to AS. I feel very scared and lost.
I am 31, haven't had a job for nearly three years, and have no job prospects. I worked in retail for seven years. I am *still* recovering from burnout, even years later. I only have skills in organizing, creative writing, and money handling. I WILL NOT WORK WITH PEOPLE ANYMORE. I was in toxic environments constantly, and my bosses took advantage of me because of the fact that I would get jobs done in less than half the time as other employees, so I ended up doing most of the jobs, but still getting paid crap money. I can't freelance because I also have ADHD and cannot maintain any kind of regular schedule on my own. My degree is in liberal arts. I have no internal motivations, and I don't want a career. What the hell would you recommend?
Proofreading?
Hi, I suspect I have the same diagnoses, I work on IT as a software developer, you don't need a "career" to work on IT.
I know I can't freelance either lol hope I get my proper diagnose to get meds and see if I can hopefully start journalism, designing, crafting and youtubing
same here, but i haven't worked since 2011, burout sent me to a mental hospital 3 times, I'm not eligible for any disability benefits, and I'm not considered unemployed, because when I went to apply I had a panic attack and the unemployment office threatened to call the police and have them put me back in a mental hospital if i didn't stop panicking, so i left as fast and as soon as i was physically able, therefore I'm not actively seeking employment so im not unemployed. I'm not even suicidal any more, because, why bother? It's just a waste of effort.
High school teacher lol.
@@Anonarchist Keep applying for benefits, you are eligible- keep coming back to them, finally, someone will understand it.
The MAIN problem in ANY job that I have learned is that I have to know I cannot tell when someone is lying to me or misleading me or being disingenuous. Take care and protect yourself because you can wind up getting taken advantage of or getting screwed by coworkers or management.
This happened to me working at Walmart. Someone scammed me and my boss tried saying I was in on it and I had to write a report to the police and now every time I come into that store they watch me like a hawk and try to catch me stealing when I'm not
Assume it's all the time and you can't go far wrong.
Indeed, you should assume all neurotypicals are up to something.
Yup. Lied to constantly cause I try to be nice to people. They just take advantage and fuck me.
@@Ormaaj wrong assumptions like, "i should use this person to make an example of how people should admire me for being more popular and higher status"?
You made really insightful nuanced points. I actually had a tech job in a well-known company and at one point I figured out how to get my work done in about half the time (eg 20hrs for a week). Everything was fine and I was getting above-average performance reviews equivalent to my days of 40-60 hour work weeks. However, the honeymoon ended once I was moved from an office that was away from my manager to one right across from her. She inevitably noticed I was only at work half the time and wasn't having any of it. My performance reviews took a hit and relatively soon after I was laid off. The thing is even jobs that claim to be all about performance will very often have managers who won't tolerate employees that clock in and out at the wrong time regardless of actual output.
My father was once in charge as a free lance self employed milk delivery man of a group of 20 men and about ten trucks which he owned outright. He worked with a manager who was employed by the same dairy to do large institutions and shops and the like, My father handled the domestic side of milk delivery and his idea was to give his workers the flexibility to do their rounds in their own time, if they finished early with no missed deliveries and no issues they got off early. These guys worked like demons to get the task done in the most efficient way and in the least time possible which suited everybody. The milkmen directly employed by the dairy were made to wait until the official clocking out time and micromanaged all the time by their manager. Those who finished their rounds early were simply given more work to do and so quickly learned to operate at a standard (slow) speed for everyone. Sandbagging ( overestimating the time taken to do a task ) was common as was skiving off and dodging in order to "generate" overtime opportunities. My fathers men worked flat out knowing the time left over after completion of the tasks was their own and they had an incentive to work hard and fast.
Facts.
I'd say almost nothing in corporate environments works.
Too much BS office politics in *every* field / department / whatever.
Oh, and middle managers are a nightmare.
I work in a warehouse and this happens all the time.
I have to run in 3rd gear or I'll just draw heat 💯
3:58 - 4:13 - That’s a slippery slope. If you show you can get a weeks’ worth of work done in 6 hours, many employers/departments end up putting more on your plate.
A co-worker of mine actually takes quite a bit longer to do things, because she triple and quadruple-checks everything and also sends a ton of emails back-and-forth to make sure everyone is on the same page. ...but when she’s done, you can be 100% sure it was done correctly.
Sometimes it’s a game of numbers.
I make busy work for myself so my supervisors don't assign me any.
If you are hourly, NEVER ever let them see your best. Recipe for intensified exploitation. That is why my preferred work is all paid by the job such as commissioned artwork.
This makes me think of Montgomery Scott from Star Trek, saying it would take him x amount of time to fix something, then being all impressive because he knew it wouldn't actually take him that long.
I'm an introverted asocial aspie. I've learned various social skills by buckling down and suppressing my anxiety. I can vary effectively communicate with people almost to the point where most people wouldn't think that I have ASD. I don't make it a point to socialize just for the sake of it, I prefer having a memorable experience with a quality individual. I go out to socialize for the same reason people go to the zoo. The difference between an introvert and an extrovert is that introverts view social interaction reserved for quality people, while an extrovert cares more about the quantity of people. Now throw ASD into the mix...
I have always seen introverts and extroverts as versions of energy cycles. Extroverts recharge using social aspects and expend energy while alone. Introverts recharge when alone and expend energy in social interactions.
That’s great! I hope to one day feel comfortable in social situations and improve my socialising... do you have any tips on how you did this ?
Dang I felt the zoo part fuckk
😂you go out to socialize for the same reason people go to the zoo. I’ll have to remember that one.
Some (long) thoughts for tactile Aspies who aren't aversive to touch:
I'm low/medium on the spectrum but also have other processing/cognitive issues. Am also very tactile/kinesthetic. Human anatomy, physiology, muscles, neurology, psychology, movement, pain relief, stress relief & health are major, intensely obsessive, lifelong interest areas for me.
I work as a massage therapist for the last 14 years, after 2 years of school. At a relatively advanced level now.
I get to mostly control my work environment to tune it to my sensitivities and needs. Very low sensory stimulation is ideal and respected by all.
I have a charm and warmth (and "scripts") I can use to greet the clients briefly and get them on the table. Then I get to deal with only one person at a time, in a small, comfy, minimal, quiet non-stimulating place... while they're mostly silent with their eyes closed and mentally/emotionally gone (yay!).
I'm merely there to serve them and the "vehicle" of their body/mind and muscles masterfully by applying highly technical knowledge and instinctive experience in a repetitive, meditative way - having silent convo with their body while my brain is teeming with a thousand bits of familiar advanced knowledge, patterns & details about it. And I get to alter the routine as much or as little as I want while customizing the basic flow :)
(The funnest times are when I get clients who are also Aspie or ADD or who share obsessive interest areas with me. Then we talk. I can usually wear other people out every time and I have to be careful to ask and stop, but I love it when the other person can kind of beat me at that by sharing so much interesting info! It is mutually relaxing.)
You can never get bored bc there's always tons more to study, discover, experiment and learn. Or not, if you don't feel like it. I love to study the detailed, famous work of Janet Travell who was JFK's doctor. And other advanced bodywork teachers, who I highly suspect many are Aspies also.
Our profession seems full of tactile Aspies. Many are highly lacking in typical social skills, but are fantastic massage therapists.
My constant challenge is to avoid hugely geeking out on people in explaining way too much detail about the source of their pain issues etc and what they can do about it. They just want to relax and be cared for in a set routine, quietly. Which works for me lol.
I've also worked as a proofreader/editor, and that felt mostly good.
You just said my exact words verbatim about trying to get the feedback. Been saying that all my life to people! Never understood why that's so hard for them but now I know.
Hope my story and comments help someone in some way.
And yes, glad you're doing another video on this bc in hearing your intro here, I said to myself 'Wow this is a massive topic to take on!' Bravo! Well done & extremely helpful!
(One funny note: this video was posted on the birthday of someone I know who I think is Aspie & who works in high level IT. Lol.)
Thanks for sharing. Very insightful! I'm considering massage myself - I never thought of the term tactile aspie, but I suppose I am one... lol.
i’m a massage therapist too, and it’s been such a relief for me as someone with ASD. i love the one-on-one interaction, and how i get to create my own safe space and boundaries.
I've found my niche in life as an in-home appliance technician. On the surface, it seems like something that would be terrifying, going into strangers' homes and fixing their stuff, but being out on my own and solving problems with my own skill set is highly satisfying. I absolutely love fixing things, and problem solving.
I'm also a repairman. One on one with people I'm fine. I even joke with the homeowners. The jobs are small enough for my attention span. I do not love the job, but it's a world I fit in😉
When I had a job baking bread the owner of the business once told me "I don't know what you're doing in here - my area was always a mess - but they've doubled our order. So keep doing it -but I just can't look."
When I was working at Hardee's I made the biscuits in the mornings and my boss always laughed at me because everything in that area of the kitchen was covered in flour including me! But he said that the biscuits looked exactly like the picture and tasted great we had a lot of compliments from customers
Haha! My art teacher told me "Meira, you're talented but you're a slob." Keep up the good work.
@@Meira750 So I'm guessing this tendency to ignore straightening and cleaning because you are too interested in what you are doing is a common trait among Aspies? Wow. I remember I was always so busy in school that my locker was a complete mess.... I literally had to jam stuff in to keep it from falling all over the floor and to put my books in there. I got made fun of a lot and tried being neat but it just would not stick.
@@RedSpiralHandTV Did I say that? I did clean after I finished my project and I keep my house clean but my mom tried to get me to put every item away as I used it in the kitchen and no, I prepped all my food then cleaned up. That's how a professional kitchen works too. Maybe all chefs are Aspies? "Wow."
I'm a transit bus driver. I enjoy using and perfecting the technical skills involved and I am almost always left alone by supervisors. I'm able to avoid eye contact in my interactions with passengers and I've excelled at this job. I've been in this position for 12 years and I compete every year. I am currently ranked 2nd in my state and have won a state wide safety award for safest bus operator. It's been a pretty good fit for me.
I am 42 years old and am just now staring to deal with the effects that being autistic has on my life. I’m just now starting to accept it and try to change my environment to be more tolerable for me. I’m so happy to find your channel. I have been so lonely and scared and feeling like a failure but I can get through this and take care of myself.
I’m 43 years old and was just diagnosed with Autism and ADHD because it finally has caught up with me 😢! But doing ok 👍🏼
How to get a diagnos for Autism and ADHD? I'm 26 and I suspect that I have one of them or both? When I asked my therapist he said remove that Idea from your brain you have a colleague degree?! So than why I'm struggling to getting a job and in social situations?! Why I'm introvert?
Aspies: unintentionally offending people since the beginning of time. 😂
So true! I've lost jobs because I used to think it was helpful pointing out how the manager is doing it wrong 😅
Donna that tickled me lol 😂 same
When someone asks for your opinion, and then get offended your opinion.
I just gave you my opinion, I wasn't attacking you?
I felt this but it's hilarious
So true
I enjoy conversations with robotic-like people more than expressive people. It always feels like expressive people are sugarcoating everything, nothing is to the point and everything is hinting at having an ulterior motive.
I’m an ultrasound tech but I intentionally work in an outpatient clinic instead of a hospital. In a clinic, it’s just “call the patient > scan them > send them home > do the paperwork” 90% of the time, and because I’m fast at scanning I have a lot of downtime to reset from any exhausting social interactions I might have. Hospital has way too many variables for me.
I used to work in Canada in a warehouse doing custom picking and packing and shipping of orders and I found it very rewarding (plus there was no judgement about my asd). It was different enough every day to be interesting but routine enough that I had comfort in the mechanics of how everything worked. It was all about sorting and remembering the correct places for things and since I have to do that inside my head with my thoughts anyways, it was perfect.
But I have struggled finding a place of similar structured employment here in North Queensland. I worked for the council in parks but I found the hardest part is no one wants you to work too efficiently, so it drove me crazy. I like to work really hard and quickly and then rest after I finish everything, as you mention.
I do picking and packing and shipping now after years of nursing. I love this job. Same thing every day with little interaction. People often comment on how fast I work. I find it rewarding and relaxing.
I had this job and I loved it!!! I wish I could do it again.
Wow! I'm 53 and just learning that I'm probably an aspie. Everything you described is my life from childhood to present. Difficult relationships, misunderstandings with people, the whole thing. This is huge.
That's about the age I first learned about this disorder too, and realized I had it! So eye opening! Am glad the younger people are getting diagnosed sooner nowadays.
I believe that more awareness and acceptance towards Aspies will, in the long run, takes us away from isolated jobs. I mean, in my experience, the problem with non-isolated jobs is people expecting me to work and behave the same way as anybody else, plus the social acceptance problem. If that geets better, I can see myself working with other people again.
Thank you so much for doing what you're doing, it really is appreciated. An angel once said that gratitude is simply another form of love.
I found that I'm great in sales, for many reasons but one big reason that people appreciate an honest and transparent seller.
But also achieving everything people always thought I wouldn't be able to, makes me very proud!
Are you icelandic? I always wondered what is it like to live as an aspie in Iceland compared to other countries.
@@theogramme_official I am. Tbh, although Iceland has a lot more people on the spectrum, they don't learn enough about mental health.
I grew up in Denmark (my mom's Danish) and when I went to live in Iceland with my dad for a few years, I had the worst time being myself and I was in a deep, deep depression.
Iceland is not welcoming people to live, only to travel.
Ha ha, true: aspies almost never lie!
@@stefanmargraf7878 It isn't called Aspies anymore, just atypical autism :) But yes, I super rarely lie :)
@@IrisKarls - "Aspies" may not be called "Aspies" anymore, yet for this video stream ... "Aspies" IS used !! No one cares what the medical establishment now labels Aspies. Ehhh?
I’m 25 now and diagnosed at 13 I’ve been a letter carrier with USPS for 3 years and I honestly love it. The social interactions with people is hard but it’s good to put myself in the way and learn to handle it better. Also the feel and sound of the envelopes/magazines and packages sliding into boxes or buckets is endlessly satisfying to me
I became an academic because it was a perfect fit for me. Obsession is encouraged. If you frequently publish in good journals, you can basically do whatever you want.
Did you became a professor too, or you can just do academic research without being a professor too?
this is a lifesaver! thank you. that burnout is my life (retail...actually traumatized)
English Roberts I want to get away from retail so bad. The bad part of it is that I'm good at my job. I have a lot of customers who say that they prefer me. But, I just
feel so depleted. I tell my therapist this and she still recommends other customer service jobs (ones in tech because I like tech). Just because a person is good at
something doesn't necessarily mean that job is right for them. I look at each day as an act basically. I'd love to be able to write for a living. I'd be fine with being a night watchman. Or, just unpacking boxes by myself I suppose. Anyway, I hope you can find a good non-retail job.
My first job was trolly collecting for ikea do not recommend the people were great and friendly ... Managers and some customers not so much
I get the sensory overload all the time.
Ohhh you poor thing! That is the WORST possible job! Are you still in it? And how are you doing right now, any better?
As a female adult aspie living in North Queensland, I find the social interaction the hardest bit and I hate stepping on egg shells when I just want information or to give information.
If You just say the facts without all the flourishing to make people feel warm and fuzzy, you get completely ostracized and judged. I find some NT people will attach emotion to something you say directly (without emotion) and because I am a female it is doubley bad. The stigma on "all females are supposed to act this way" makes it hard to relay information without getting into knots so you don't offend anyone.
I find with men, women in the work place will just accept that person as "he's just being a guy" (which to me is also unfair for men, and quite sexist) but if you respond without the tact and you are a female, OMG the retribution is like a witch hunt. They will assume my lack of emotion is contempt for them as a person (meanwhile in my head I am trying to make sure I am doing all the appropriate things with my movements and face and voice control) and by the time it reaches back to me I have no clue what snowball has been building in the gossip behind a simple response. It is so confusing for me and quite exhausting too. I suppose that is why all of my friends are male (And many are aspie too). If you say something that may not have been tactful, they have already moved on in 10 minutes and are still friendly. I want to thank you for these videos as they make me feel not so isolated. In North Queensland, it is very hard to find support groups
you're welcome! You're definitely not alone :)
Aspergers from the Inside thanks it is nice to hear from other people with similar stories. Isolation can get you to a pretty dark place sometimes.
I'm a tactless female too! My god is hard not to upset men. I was thinking about this today actually. Men seem to be programmed from birth to see women as loving, unconditional, nurturing, warm creatures.. so when you're not that way to them they think you're a cold hearted bitch who's out to get them. Blunt honesty is one of my biggest downfalls! It takes me too much energy to tactfully word myself.. and it feels like I'm manipulating the situation for the best outcome, and I'm not into manipulation so it feels wrong to do that.
Amie Joy
I don't seem to have as hard a time with NT men. They may not LIKE that I'm not as "motherly and/or sexualised" as they would like, but they seem to eventually accept me as "non-compatible" and move on, but with Neuro-typic women, they are absolutely malicious toward me. They often label me with their own insecurities and I am so lost and confused in the midst of it, they can use that to manipulate people around me.
Maybe because I don't conform to what they believe a woman should be or maybe because they just are afraid of my differences, but I have been the fodder for so many women's attacks, I just avoid them completely now. My only women associates, are people who are also on the spectrum or have other challenges, as they never seem to be as judgemental. All you have to do is explain your self and if you're forth-right, you are accepted. I don't worry about those NT attacks normally, as I just leave the scene, but if you are in a work environment, it's an issue you are faced with every day, over and over.
That's makes sense to me! I do get aggressive, dismissive retorts from NT women when I try and explain my mental health issues. Especially one woman at work, she belittles me every time I bring up a mental health topic.. its her insecurities really, she's hopeless, timid and very unaware. I don't even talk to the women at work about relationships anymore because our ideas are so opposing!
Honestly, the more I learn about ASD the more I align with it. I'm seeking diagnosis - I stupidly told the women at work I was going to see a psychologist. They instantly shut me down by saying "pfft, everyone feels anxious sometimes! its not just you, you know!". I may have worked with them for 10 years but I've never told them anything about me because I'm met with responses like that.
2:30 Right on point. I've always said to my employers, "don't worry how I get there, worry that I get there."
My occupation is perfect for the metric of the finished final product being the bulk of the value.
I set tile for a living.
I'm also lucky to be in an area where most customers have a preference for and appreciate meticulously done, detail orientated work.
As long as I don't end up taking too long to reach my goals, I can do my job anyway I desire.
All I need is a very clear solid understanding of how they want it to look.
When they ask me if I'm able to do something that would give the work a certain "look" I just reply, "First off, all tile work is personal preference. Now ask yourself, what do you want to look at for the rest of your life? My limitation is the extent of your imagination."
I always told my sister I would never work in fast food or retail. I'm not sure why she always took that the wrong way and it still drives me nuts. She knows I have Asperger's but I don't think she fully understands my problems with working around people?
I find that sometime people have an issue with speaking the truth too 'bluntly' - it's like they know it's true but just don't like saying it.
I worked in fast food during the 8 pm - 2 am shift. I got to do the drive-thru so I didn't have much face to face time but I could pass of the order and move on. Nobady bothered me in the kitchen because I was in my own little spot. That was very productive and measurable. They had me clean the bathrooms and dining room after closing and I did the best job of all of them so I ultimately had to do it all the time (instead of taking turns). I like doing a thorough and efficient job. I take pride in what I produce and once again I didn't have to deal with the emotional BS.
I made my own engineering job I was good at, is highly valued, that no one else wants to do and is performance based. This video made sense to me.
Most people are defensive. If there's a chance something could have a different meaning than the one you intended that insults them, They will usually hear it that way. Saying you'd never work there for most means you think less of the people who do work there. So it helps if you explain further. I would never work there because it wouldn't fit my personality. Thank goodness there are lots of didn't toss of people in the world.
Correcting people... I feel like for us we'd like it because we're just like oh thanks! Note i know the fact. Others get huffy and puffy. "You think I'm dumb. You were trying to embarrass me etc" it's hard to believe that all that could be related to a third party bit of info that is not related to intelligence but just exposure.
I find that people take much less offense if, instead of saying "I never would," I say "I never *could*." That kind of shifts the sentence to mean "this is a thing I can't handle, not a thing I object to in itself." ... but, then, i'm very self-deprecating overall and people know that about me. I'm forever calling myself out as a clutz, flake, etc, and I've gotten so good at smiling and laughing at myself that no one else takes anything I say too seriously. It's sad, but it's easier for me to pretend to be a silly-but-good-natured fool than it is for me to be my actual self. At least, this way, no one gets angry or offended.
I am not one of those stereotypical aspies that is good at computers and numbers. I am also limited by not having a college degree though I am working on it. I need a job that I can hold now. I still have no idea what to do with my life or where my talents lie.
I think it's a myth that people one day figure out what they 'want to do with their life'... does it really ever happen? Maybe to some, but the rest of us just take one step at a time.
That makes a lot of sense, Rhys (awesome name btw!) I have some interest in writing music or learning how to play an instrument even though the very idea of either really intimidates me. I also have tried in the past to learn some butoh dance moves at home, though it been awhile. Maybe I should get back to that. I have always wanted to learn a martial art as was this close to attend akkido lessons in the next town over. Parkour is also something I've been dying to learn. I am not all that physically fit though. I may have to work out a bit first. I am interested in so many things, its hard to pick one to run with.
Me too. Someone save me!!! 😭
A little late, but you mentioned an interest in music. My girlfriend (kind of, it's complicated) is also really into music (she sees it as magic, i see it as math, but we both love the feeling it gives us and others, and the kind of "universal language" nature of music -- humans are hard, music is easy) and she's actually managed to translate that into a career. She didn't even want to go to college despite my encouragements, then she found a music program and dove in headfirst. Now she's an occupational therapist who specialized in music therapy. Because she's seldom dealing with more than a single person at a time, it's not hugely stressful, and the feeling of helping others is hugely validating for her.
I don't think anyone (well, 90% of people) really knows what they want to do with their lives, but you can't go wrong if you take an interest and pursue it. Probably, lol. My writing "career" is going nowhere fast :D But the point is that it worked for her! It's important to remember that not every interest SEEMS like it has a corresponding career, but that there's a huge variety of jobs and needs out there to be filled, especially if you're willing to get creative.
I know your comment was made over a year ago but something that might be worth looking into is Open University. It’s an online university (great if you don’t like/want extensive social interactions) and you can get in even without qualifications (hence the ‘open’ in the name!). And graduates have an 80 percent employment rate, I met a nurse who studied at OU who’s now working at the top hospital in my city 😃 you can study physics, law, there’s a variety of great subjects. Obviously if uni is not for you ignore this comment but from your comment it seems you’re open to going to uni/gettinga a degree and if so I think OU would be great.
It's funny because I'm a care giver for adults with Intellectual/developmental disabilities. I couldn't hug and feel safe before but they brought it out of me. I preform in group settings and be active in the group.
A lot of the jobs I've had, have been performance based on speed. They have never lasted that long because speed is a weakness of mine. Part of the speed is due to co ordination.
Speed and coordination! All my life I thought I was just too dumb and stupid to do basic stuff that everyone around me has no problem doing. Finding out that I'm on the spectrum has cleared so much up for me!
Perhaps it is a matter of time for you. I am relatively slow at jobs to start but at a certain point I find a better way to do the job and become the fastest that has ever done it. I have done this my whole life. I am slow until I know the job, then I make it simpler.
@@Spincat08 Yes exactly we tend to start slow...but once captured we become the fastest available out there
I'm a courier and I love it! I get to spend the vast majority of my day in the car singing (something I love to do), and listening to podcasts that interest me. I don't have to think about the job at hand much, and I can completely focus on listening to things that interest me. I'm in heaven!
The only downside, is that sometimes I have to contain my anger when someone does something stupid or inconsiderate on the road, but I'm getting better at it, and I am becoming more tolerant as time goes by. It is a struggle sometimes though...
I enjoyed driving the school bus because although you had lots of kids, they weren't directly talking to me. I had issues with stupid driver too. The part I hated was going into the lobby-lunch area to wait for the shift. I felt awkward because I didn't want to share my business and people talk about dumb things.
I just realized I love working by myself, I have been doing home office these last years and is totally stress free I dont have to deal with silly office politics and can totally focus on the job.
Yea! Any suggestions on good jobs that are remote that pay okay?
I wish I could go to an interview and work for a company, without having to analyze and go through my negative past in the process. Not to mention, the weird social interactions. People assume you are just lazy when you have no job.
Just wanna say thank you for all of these videos. I was diagnosed at 25 and I'm 28 now. I've been struggling with finding good information to help me understand what my entire life has apparently been. But thanks to you, I have that now. You're awesome.
Don't bother with the past friend. Everyone's life is just managing through bad decisions and screwing up. Start fresh, you got this.
Being a teacher is also a great job for aspies.
When you're teaching, it's different from socializing. The vibe is different, because you can plan your lessons, and teach according to the plan. You also don't need to worry about the social cues, since you're mostly interacting with children or teenagers who are more explicit and direct with their intentions
I have an Education degree and actually found teaching to be awful. You’re surrounded by people all day, constantly “on”, and there’s a lot of circling around and monitoring which made my feel extremely awkward and unsure.
The only hard thing is grading. 😢 but that’s because I also have ADHD.
I have to counter that…for those with misophonia or hyperacusis it can become a bit much. Did it for 21 years and 2 years just realized I could not do it anymore….too exhausting mentally. But it could have also been the change in grade level as I went from hs which is more laid back to 8th graders 😩😩😩.
Working in public schools in the USA has been hell for me, due to the sensory environment that I have little control over. Noisy, smelly, too bright and too much small talk & social expectations with other educators. Schools love to say "we are all a family" so you are willing to accept horrible conditions, abuse and live like a martyr for the the cause.
@@taymacintyre6735 I don't know about that, but the children here in Asia are a lot different.
I remember I taught at a school where the students were nice and disciplined.
If I had any problems with them, I could just report them to the headmaster, and she always had my back
I work in sales and the social quirks that make it difficult for me to make friends make me the best sales person in the company. My coworkers and bosses love how blunt I am because it catches clients off guard and I don’t waste time making small talk. My lifetime of observing people to improve my masking has also made me really good at picking up on certain cues and predicting behavior. I’m really good at customer service but usually hate sitting down for a for a friendly chat unless it’s someone that’s chipped their way to my inner circle. I’m still exhausted by customer service, but working on commission gives me a boost in energy when I make a big sale.
@@raz5003 unfortunately the follow up to my previous comment is that I developed severe depression that turned out to be autistic burnout from this job. Almost a year after leaving I’m feeling somewhat back to normal. The masking required for that job was literally killing me 😕
@@raz5003 I was dealing with them in person since I was working in an art gallery, but now I work from home handling the administrative end of my boyfriend’s snow plowing business. But, yeah. I still get anxious when I have to talk to a client on the phone instead of communicating via email 😬
Thank you for creating this video. Your presentation has been extremely informative in teaching me to successfully manage an individual.
I am ADHD diagnosed in childhood and I think I may also have aspergers but I am deeply unsure. I have been working as a hairdresser for 7 years and although sometimes it really is a lot of peopling for me, the fact that I am self employed helps me a lot. My coworkers have gotten use to me and are very supportive and help me as much as they can. They also know they can count on me to be excellent at the technical and creative aspects of this job, and to be able to complete complex color corrections and haircut corrections even if I have to tell the client about all of my cats in great detail while I do it. I can also talk about technical aspects of my job to clients for hours which throws some people off guard in a good way and they appreciate my expertice and unending curiosity. Also, all my coworkes can refer all the "weirdos" to me and more often than not we click and they become loyal clients of mine. Besides my cats, hair, make-up, and fashion have been life long obsessions and creative outlets for me which keeps me motivated. All throughout my 20's I felt like I would find a job where I fit in and my coworkers were "my people" but eventually I gave up and just found a place where my coworkers tolerate me.
I have an aspie husband who's a farmer and my aspie son wants to be a tattoo artist like me, his mom. I am all for it because he can draw so well at 9 years old that I'm almost willing to let him tattoo me soon. Just throwing that out there 😊
Brilliant! I've been in retail for 16 years, and really wish I had used my artistic ability when I had it! Aside from my contribution to amateur dramatics I've wasted my life. That creativity has to be perpetuated and maintained, don't let him lose it!
i was going to get into tattooing but i cant stand dealing with people lol
And we ain't even have breakfast yet
Wow! Brilliant insight throughout - Your example about doing well in 6 hours and then needing to recharge was so helpful! I felt guilty all my life that I needed to go home after I taught my last maths class. I graded papers during lunch because I could not switch gears, socialize for an hour, and then go back to hyper-focus on teaching. It was expected, but not enforced, to stay 8 hours. Eventually I was "incompatible" with a new principal who did not understand. I switched schools despite excellent reviews of my classroom teaching. I have felt guilty about the need to leave work a bit after the last class for many years because I thought I was lazy. Wow! I am perhaps borderline-on-the-spectrum but a good public speaker/classroom teacher - never knew this could be until I found your channel.
I'm not an aspie but in my job, I often work with lawyers. My favourite lawyer is obviously an aspie. He's an absolute champion, he's found his niche and is quickly building a very successful law business himself.
Problem is that when you are low skilled. Low skills jobs tend to be not friendly for aspies.
There is no such thing as a job that is good for an aspie. This is my reality. This guy really has no idea how devastating being autistic is when trying to survive on your own.
"Low skilled" is a myth, not that it helps because it is widely accepted. No one, but especially not autistics can actually go through life without acquiring skills. Unfortunately the system puts the total burden of identifying and marketing what skills you do have on you. I like to do skill assessments- there are many free online ones- just take a few or a lot of them, add the results to your resume and see what you discover.
@@randcall5933 Yes, but many jobs are beyond some skill threshold - I will not be programmer without knowing how to program in first place. Or engineer without engineering diploma. I can't put "low skill doesn't exist" into my resume...
Here in the US I'm an over-the-road trucker of over 13 years. I love it. My math skills makes my trip planning exceptionally great. I have an excellent sense of direction. I quickly learn all the roads over the entire country and can get anywhere in the country without a map. I also love being alone out on the road and this job definitely is a performance based job. The better you are and harder you work the more miles you can get in and we get paid by the mile. Only time I deal with people is at shippers & receivers and truckstops. I also pretty much make my schedule.
The best work I've ever done was working alone, self-paced, in the vicinity of people I liked. School was perfect in that sense, hopefully there are enough suitable jobs out there. Thanks for the video
I was a Correctional Officer. I had mad observation skills, a high sensitivity to sound and smell and Officers observe so they can stand together, talk and rarely look at each other all day. Its even better when assigned to external security, you are all by yourself all day!
man that's exactly how I see myself in the future lmao. Sometimes I just space out and daydream about being a professional interegator or someone working for the CIA. Silly stuff I know :)
This is so helpful, thank-you!
Makes it so much easier to understand your own motivation, and to not be so hard on yourself when lacking energy after high-performance.
Diagnosed in my 40's after years of gaslighting, ridicule, bullying and misascribed motives, I moved from job to job. Hit my stride in my 30's! I have successfully restructured and run a p-card program for one of the 100 largest school districts in the nation for many years. What I like about working in the education sector is that they tend to be more tolerant and understanding of learning differences (I am active in supporting the Special Ed department and volunteer at their Job Olympics for the kids), and flexible (I have incandescent lighting in my office, electric candles and play music). Having a boss who trusts me to do my job and doesn't micromanage is a GODSEND. When my environment is more comfortable, I'm more relaxed, being able to grow socially, and can be open, spontaneous, and friendly with those I serve (LOTS of customer service). One of my duties in running this program is acting as internal auditor to all the financial statements, so there is a fair amount of detail chasing, data crunching, and sometimes even internet forensics. My ability to hyperfocus is an attribute, not a liability, and everyone here knows I'm an aspie -- so they know I won't be particularly chatty or gossipy. The best part of that? Very little melodrama. They still don't like that I struggle with getting to work on time in the morning, but I'm very honest about that... I've been shamed, ridiculed, humiliated, and punished for it since Kindergarten, to no avail. If negative feedback could cure it, I'd be 1/2 hour early every day already. I also still struggle with leaving a task not completed and have difficulty leaving in the afternoon... so I often leave late. I feel self-conscious about it, but based on how many things I've tried to rid myself of these, I've come to the conclusion that they are not reactive but neurologically wired.
I'm good at writing (not in English, but in my native language), and I try really hard to rely on that ability. By now I'm working as a teacher assistant, but it's far from my dream job. I feel like all the potential I could have in the field is usually overshadowed by socially adequate coworkers and sometimes I can't even make it through a job interview. People tend to misunderstand me or just think that I'm not interested in doing a good job, and I've been awfully stepped by coworkers that assume that I lack ambition at all, which is not true. Quarantine time made me realize that I actually need to go back to studies, try to get a master degree in my area and hopefully in the future I'll be able to have a job where my knowledge is more important than my social skills, I don't know.
Have you considered freelance proofreading?
I’m 45 and I’ve only figured out I’m an “aspie” in past year. I hadn’t really thought about career stuff yet until this video. Most of my career has been in and around information technology as a consultant with deep-and fairly wide-subject matter expertise. This is NOT what I went to college and grad school for. But I’m damn good at what I do and have even won some international industry awards. I’ve tried a couple of times to make my own company out of this and got burned out, so now I’ve figured out I’m best at doing this for someone I trust who finds my skills to be valuable. And since the pandemic hit and I’ve been working at home, I’ve been able to be super productive at times and give myself space the other times, and overall my output is much higher in quantity and quality than when I had to commute into an office each day. I think I’ll stick with this!
I have found the military life very rewarding. My job is extremely routine, performance-based, and there are clearly defined rules for how to interact with others.
I still don't quite fit in among my peers, but I'm accepted and feel some sense of belonging.
Maybe that's why I have lasted much longer in the Military(12 years) than any other job I have ever had.
...Until you get promoted and they tell you that you NEED to be a leader- assertive, team player, dominating, competitive. Otherwise it's "failure to meet standard" on your NCOER and you get kicked out or branded a toxic leader.
@@OlMrEllis my field is small enough that leading is being in charge of 2-4 people. Very manageable
Where I'm at I can only lead 2-4 people for so long until they start expecting me to progress and take more and more responsibilities. Basically their attitude is 'if you aren't on track to becoming command sergeant major you might as well get out.' Not that that's wrong necessarily I admire great leaders and for a while aspired to be one but there's a disconnect somewhere and honestly I've lost all motivation to try and figure it out.
This is the hardest thing in my life right now at 40 years old. I have very little education and can only do simple blue-collar jobs (always around other people, where I don't want to be.) Only last week I understood that I have Asberger/autism which pretty much explains my all life looking back. Currently unemployed and in talks with a psychologist and a doctor for the first time about these issues. Complete no man's land at the moment. Already had 12 jobs in my life and don't have the strength anymore for another round of the same stuff.
This is really helpful to me. I'm 50 and I haven't worked in a long time. I'm not good at dealing with a lot of customers socially. I wish I could be a songwriter or write a book. I'm surviving on disability but it's not how I want to live forever.
As an aspie, the military was a decent work environment for me. It was all about the direct communication environment that I was in. I did what I was told, and did pretty well. I think my unit picked up on me being on the spectrum before I did because even though I was a medic, they put me into supply roles and in charge of layouts and I excelled in those roles. I faced more bullying from lower enlisted because of jealousy than with my senior enlisted in my platoon.
I’m currently having issues with my coworker in my supply job that I have right now. My coworker is passive and I was only told about this by someone from a different department that has worked with this person before. I don’t have good communication with this coworker. I am direct and honest and she says “okay I’ll leave you alone since you’re in a mood”. Which I never understood until others told me it was her dismissing me. I’m currently trying to move to another department because I can’t step on my toes trying to be what I’m not for this person.
I have asperger's and am in the Canadian army reserve. Overcome your deepest fears and grow.
🤔I look at the big picture , from corporate / political motivations right down through the society until I'm staring at my hands. Could I pick up a weapon and blast someone's brains out or bayonet another man as he cries for his mother ? Because some people engineered a situation and say it's my duty ?
I imagine political leaders sitting on the toilet, all their assumed power disappears .
Idk what my fears are
I love to study so that makes me really good in academia. I am considering going back to school for a masters degree, but I have no idea which field of study to study because ai have a few different interests. I love to preach so I thought about a Master of Divinity degree, although I cannot pastor because I find dealing with people is not the best job for me.i love plants and gardening, design and art types of jobs, i used to be a graphic designer and art director in movies, years ago. I love history and especially interiors of European great houses and royal palaces. There seems to be very specific things that interest me. I just cannot make a decision!
Thanks for this. I've been have A LOT of trouble in my new field of caregiving/nursing assistance for the elderly. Facilities on paper have one set of rules, some of which are based on law. Yet, once at work, one is supposed to somehow know that those rules are NOT to be followed and that 85% of what occurs that is negative needs to actually be ignored or swept under the rug (which I find stupid because it prolongs patient problems that could have been addressed easily early on). There is denial, and outright lying from management about what is really occurring with patients. For example, one patient gets upset every day around 3 PM and cries and tries to leave the facility. I see it, other staff see it, we all deal with it but it's becoming a big problem. Mgmt has told me, outright, "That Doesn't Happen". I say, "It DOES happen and So & So sees it, I see it, everyone sees it." Mgmt says, "No one says that happens. That doesn't happen." I know this seems literally crazy, and it is crazy making for me. Yet I am learning that this is the culture of the eldercare business. I am very sad, because I like caring for elderly, yet I cannot survive in this type of culture. I continue to say, "It IS happening,"...and then as usual, everyone is annoyed by me and/or starts to dislike me. An alternative is to do private one-on-one care. In the end IT IS SO HARD - So hard!!! - to be an Aspie and be able to support oneself financially despite our intelligence and talents.....
K's Thought Palace I have never been diagnosed, but I get outraged at work when I see things swept under the rug because it doesn’t match the truth of the management. This is especially true when I spent a year in the trucking industry. They are always trying to get you to drive when you are out of hours. Or that the load MUST get there on time or the factory will shut down. I quit after a year because of their cheating and lying.
@RightNow Good for you. Yet the older I get, the more I see there is this kind of..corruption..in almost every business! It can exist even on a small level, which still bothers me very much. That bothers me because those little things that are being swept under the rug, if they were addressed they could be fixed early on before they turn into a big issue. To refuse to address problems when they are small just makes zero zero sense to me. IDK where we can work and feel comfortable...unless we find ways to work for ourselves?
Yes. BS at work seems to be a universal virus, brought on by basic flaws in homo sapiens as a species........sometime in the future homo sapiens will go by the wayside just as Neanderthol(etc) went. Hoping the next evolutionary step of mankind will be free of such flaws. Until then, Yes, it would be nice for those of us are just not willing or able to put up with it any longer, can all figure out a way to work for ourselves. I think its called leaving the Matrix.
I think both men AND women will make the jump. Not just the 'man'kind.
I agree. I hate when rules are ignored. I hate when things are done inefficiently and so much more could be accomplished for everyone.
I’m a guitar teacher, having turned away from corporate HR after over 20 years. My executive functioning was inconsistent and I had a knack for prioritising the things I either enjoyed or was just fascinated by. I became a source of knowledge, but was constantly being distracted by questions. I also found the moving goalposts and targets difficult to deal with. I liked the social side, but also found it exhausting. Some days you couldn’t shut me up, other days I would have preferred being invisible.
Now I’m in control of the content of my work and it’s my specialism in life. I have no boss.
I get to talk about my favourite subject all week.
I’ve done online interviews and got turned down a lot because of my honesty...my family was always mad at me for that
I don’t think being an “Aspie” myself but I recognize many aspects you mention. Hating the unneeded sugarcoating, the benefit of seeing directly the performance of the job done, using the most productive hours then stop at some point as my energy is simply exhausted for the day.
I think it’s also very valid and relevant for people out of the Autism scale
Recently picked up lifeguard and it's actually an amazing job for people who want to be left alone for long periods of time.
What you described resonates with me 100%! I’m not diagnosed, but I always feel better in tasks that are “boring” performance based, I was always creative when it comes to finding my own way to do things faster, more effective, planning my tasks, the whole process step by step to get more things done at the same time without getting overwhelmed. But when I get thrown to customer service I struggle a lot. I try my best and I still get feedback like “modulate your voice! Have a little smile! Look in their eyes!” Etc. the only job that was good for me was in a warehouse. I got promoted short after I got hired and I became the manager, my boss was super happy because everything was done and in order! I feel like I really need an aspie friendly job in order to keep my mental health in a good condition. Otherwise I have depression, panic attacks and I endlessly wonder what’s wrong with me, this is the question of my life that I always hear.
Thanks for this video! I'm no Aspie, but in some ways I can relate (I'm quite the introvert and have social anxiety). Ironically on my work I had to deal with over-the-top stress, long shifts, and impossibility to have any sort of routine, for so long that I realised I need a change. Sometimes I get terrified by the thought that maybe I'm unsuitable for any kind of employment, but you video gave me a bit more motivation to keep on searching.
the types of things I find very zen are cleaning and organizing when it comes to work. I can escape to my own world while doing those things.
I was working as an RN for five years. The stress level and constant patient social interaction was very draining. Also every day in the hospital setting is different. Going in each day not knowing what floor I may be working on or what patients I would have or how long I'd have to stay past my 12 hour shift made it very hard to control my emotions. I now work in a warehouse where I have little social interaction and do the same thing the entire day, every day. A lot of people think I'm wasting my potential, but I'm very happy and have no work related stress. It supports me financially and it's a boring job to most but it's relaxing to me.
I’m a nurse and worked in the operating room for many years. My patients were asleep! The staff has a lot of autonomy and you work with people who have their one part to play ( anesthesia, scrub nurse, Rn, etc) This worked great for me.
People have told me many times that I need to get a job to have a sustainable income in order to follow my passion for making TH-cam videos, but I could never get it to feel right until now. I always looked at it as, "Sacrifice time you could spend doing what you love, in order to make money doing something you hate." So it would never last long, because I would get exhausted and quit. But thanks to you I see that it's really, "Make easy money quickly so you have more time to do what you love." Seeing it that way makes me so excited for the future.
Thank you so much for making videos. You relieve so much frustration and pain by helping me understand why I am the way I am, and you explain "obvious" "normal" things in a way that actually makes sense to me.
This is probably why I am not a huge fan of my current job. It is not well defined, I don't get good solid feedback, it's open ended, I don't get to clock out therefore I'm always exhausted, and the primary thing I do is complex social interaction.
To be fair I saw that I had a deficiency and I picked a job that I thought would improve that deficiency before I found out that my brain is literally wired different, and that was a super bad idea.
Asura Heterodyne This post exemplifies my current situation..
Toastbuster what's your job? Are you okay?
Gm of a pizza place. I enjoy some aspects of the job but I feel like it's immensely difficult and exhausting to try to constantly form and retain the long-term relationships needed to maintain a team, not to mention dealing with some of the very mean "I want to talk to the manager" types. I took the job because i wanted to improve myself, but 3 years later I feel unhappy on a very visceral level. Very few if any of the people I work with like me because I'm boring ( I think they're boring tbh) and I feel stuck because I cant go anywhere else to make more money. So I continue going in and then coming home and drinking and smoking myself to death. I guess this is just they way it is for some of us.
Toastbuster is it possible for you to apply for a different kind of job? Maybe you can take a menial job like night janitor in addition to GM in order to pay for an apprenticeship program?
I'm far too awkward and ugly for anything else. I've played out a thousand scenarios out in my head and all of them lead to me failing and being socially unacceptable to those around me. The amount of social anxiety I have is very embarrassing for a 28 year old man and it leads me to be defensive and aggressive towards some people. Even my superiors know I'm a broken awkward person they just don't have anyone trustworthy enough and responsible enough at the moment. I just wasn't designed to play this game, but if I don't I have nothing and nobody to rely on. I would love to be a different person and just feel normal, just be able to relate and make small talk with those around me and be genuinely engaged in other people . I put on the face of confidence every day I go to work and pretend to be strong but I cant talk to anyone there because I'm supposed to be the person they go to with their problems. I see a very negative ending to my story.
Homeless, high school dropout at age 19, married and owning a house at age 24. In my case, I fell into a career in land surveying. I'm very good at it (minus the skillset gaps) I love doing it and it's a good living. It has made me the hundredaire that I am today. I figured out that I'm an Aspy in my late 40's. Paul, you give great advice and comfort. Keep it up.
I am learning so much from this video. I’m a psychologist in training and as a person who has asd is a challenge.
I'm 60 years old. My 4th child has Aspergers. He was exhausting to raise, but I really felt like I understood him and connected with his feelings. Now that I have time to reflect and think, I look back and recognize that the reason I "get him" is because I too have Aspergers. As a teacher, I am super passionate about curriculum and delivery of it. I have always been tortured with social interaction and tend to effortlessly piss people off and often have no idea why they are angry. What I thought was an ability to be adaptable to different situations was really just "masking" to accommodate my need to survive in social interactions. The overwhelming mental exhaustion that would follow led to depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. I have not been diagnosed as an aspie officially, but your videos resonate so deeply with me, and I appreciate the clarity they bring.
First it’s harder for us to pass an interview. Then it’s very difficult to navigate through office politics/office gossip. I hope there’s a coping method.
I find interviews incredibly stressful. I have been watching job interview tips on here & they did help with my last interview.
Diagnosed with Aspergers at 30, and spent 9 years prior to in the military. The routine and structure was very helpful, and they largely left me alone to do the work the way I wanted to. Now I'm retired and in nursing school since medical science has been my fascination since I could walk. Use to steal my mothers medical books when I was able to carry them.
Both of my current jobs are delivery jobs. I am very good with maps and directions and I only deal with customers for limited times so I am able to have good interactions. If that time were to be prolonged then I would have more time to slip up during the interaction.
You put it into words! This does explain why I find my job so enjoyable. I work with autistic toddlers and preschoolers, and not only do I find interacting and playing with them really fun, I am also completely free to set the therapy goals and work towards them the way I see fit, which means a lot of flexibility. And by the end of the school year the outcomes are clearly measurable. The culture at my specific organisation is also very supportive on open communication, collaboration and professional growth, and I get weekly training by a far more experienced therapist which gives me a lot of feedback. Thanks to you articulating all of this, I will know exactly what to look for in the future when searching for a job. Thank you!
Yay! Autistic grown-ups working with and helping little autistic people! I'm considering a job in special ed for very similar reasons to yours 👍💕
I work full time as a support worker for a mixed range of complex needs, yes it can be stressful but also rewarding and the slower pace suits me.
"I'm bound to create... some kind of misunderstanding... whenever I interact with, you know, humans."
This is me all the time!