Holo everyone! I want to add a note regarding the last r/confessions post. We did not discuss mental health but the OP's position may absolutely be one that needs to take mental health into consideration. I realize now that in sticking on the 'work' side of the conversation we were missing the other contextual piece. Personally I don't feel comfortable speculating or having in-depth conversations about mental health. I am not a mental health expert and I'm just not confident I would be offering the right advice that would best serve those struggling. It deserves more conversation and thought that I just personally feel I can't do justice. But I agree that mental health is something we all need to consider when reflecting on the work and lives of ourselves and others, and to be compassionate. - Cristine
Thank you for the comments on this. I certainly don't expect expertise in areas you don't claim any too. But I'm glad to see this aspect address as personally I didn't want someone feeling attacked with this aspect being addressed as an exception. I really enjoy and appreciate both Cristine and Ben :)
I didn't really see an issue? But regardless bringing it up afterwards is appreciated. Most people over 30ish I find don't have experience with mental health or emotional maturity(and both subjects endless supply of knowledge) unless having an illness. tis a different time back then lol While us younger folk do; not only cause of the increase in those with a mental illness(thus an increase in people in therapy-where most of this info unfortunately is learned), but also the internet easily accessible. Most know that the older you are, the harder it can be to take in contradicting information from early years(positive or not).
As a therapist, I would even need the full context. I don’t know if this person has been depressed for a long time or if this is just an episode, but regardless they should seek out help if this is a common thought. I read this as I don’t want a TRADITIONAL job, which I see clients who are pursuing jobs that aren’t 9-5’s, and I support them even if their parents are telling them it’s stupid. I mean, $300 a month doing TH-cam sounds impressive to me. But if you’re living alone, I would personally suggest finding at least a part-time job you don’t *absolutely hate* while your not-traditional career is rising. Like I had an office job where the work was light but I still made good money, and I rarely talked to people face to face (which I preferred at the time). But it’s also not good to assume the worst, because that self fulfilling prophecy to just be like “everything sucks and it will no matter what I do” is just gonna keep you there. Find the things that encourage mindfulness and the little things in your routine, like when you make your first cup of coffee or tea in the morning, and that makes you happy in the moment. Or loving your pet, wearing your favorite clothes, enjoying the nice weather/scenery, etc.
Is it funny is I point out that my name is Christine (sadly with an h) and also was the roommate with the printer? Maybe it’s just a C(h)ristine thing xD
My dad worked in the Canadian government as well and he can’t drink caffeinated coffee for medical reasons. He was often the first one in the office and he would brew a pot of decaf and not one damn person in that office figured it out. He’s now retired and took that secret with him.
The first cup of hot coffee in the morning can give you a placebo 'caffeine feeling'. He was effectively proving the placebo effect. Caffeine takes about 15min to fully feel it, but you get a big 'energy boost' immediately, from training your brain into expecting the feeling. BTW I'm fully aware of this and still take advantage of that energy boost haha, placebo can be good!
Even decaf has some caffeine in it. The process removes around ninety-seven percent which leaves around 2 mg where as a normal cup has around 95 mg. How many cups did everyone drink on average a day? I'm sure at first it went up as people drank more to get close to a regular cup but then tapered off as their bodies adjusted to the lower caffeine levels.
on the brighter side, your dad may have inadvertently helped his co-workers lessen their dependence/addiction to actual caffeine. unless they brew another pot later in the day.
As a career coach who works with people feeling lost or depressed because of their work, I totally understand how someone would come to the conclusion that they just never want to work. The models of work we’ve most familiar with can be really depressing.
@MelissaMcGehee q: who do I talk to about career choices, when I'm 30 and I still can't make up my mind? All I found were companies and career coaches who help one make progress in an existing job, but not the re-start advisors. Help, what is the keyword I'm looking for? Google failed me and my therapist all said career coaches, but apparently nope.
@@askalemuralia It looks like my original comment may have gone to moderation, so I’m commenting again just to make sure you get the info you’re looking for. A good career coach should absolutely be able to guide you through the process of exploring different career options! You might try using the keywords career guidance and planning when you’re looking for a coach. And specifically ask about tools or exercises to help you narrow down your interests/aptitude/etc. That should help you pick a coach who actually knows what they’re doing because there are a lot of people out there calling themselves coaches who really just help with resumes and cover letters. I hope that helps!
i’ve been working since i was 17, even took two years off bc i was so mentally and physically ill, and covid. now that my chronic illness is becoming bigger and i’ve never once had a job that didn’t make me dread waking up in the morning, the prospect of working a 9-5 for the rest of my life is dismal and depressing in a visceral way. i have passions and dreams that feel so distant and impossible bc of all the things my illnesses have taken from me. i have to work more than i’m physically capable to survive & i have minimal to no access to the medical care i need. it’s reassuring to know there’s a professional validating some of these feelings.
I know they both worked retail and such before but they don't understand how fortunate they are to go to university, find a job they love while also finding TH-cam success... a big percentage of people are stuck working jobs they hate and are treated terrible at with low pay for most of their life where they also don't have time for their hobbies or any enjoyment in life anymore...
YES, honestly hinging personal value on how much you can contribute to society is problematic in general. And at least in the US, I understand why someone would not want to dedicate their life and body to a system that gives nothing back. It’s just not worth it to a lot of people and I think that’s justified.
@@lovebts honestly, there’s so little jobs that actually require 40hr work weeks. I wish we were lowering the amount of time we all worked, and raising wages.
The worst I've ever felt was when I had a full-time job. I feel better being jobless tbh. At least I have energy left to talk to people and interact in day to day life instead of just sleep, work, sleep again.
I totally relate to the person who doesn’t want to work. I’ve been working at least 2 jobs at any given time since I was 17 (I’m 31 now) and it sucks. I’m burnt out and tired. I’ve tried work jobs I’m passionate about and now I hate doing those things (dance and painting) as putting that kind of pressure on my creativity killed any passion I once had. Now I work a 9-5 office job with 2 side hustles. My finances are comfortable but it’s come at the cost of killing my passions and having so little personal time that when I’m off all I want to do is rest.
I started my own accounting firm back in 2019 with the goal to do what I saw my employers doing - working less and making more $. I’ve been doing 60+ hour weeks for 3 years now and I’m too old for this shit. I don’t want to work this much. I have created spreadsheets to determine how little I need to live a reasonable life and not work anymore. Being an adult sucks.
Hey Cristine, just wanted to share that my husband just got into college! He's going back at the ripe age of 34. Lol. Starts classes Thursday! So proud of him.
Re: the person who doesn’t want to work, I think a really important part that they’re skipping over is how depressed OP is. They don’t want to do anything, because they’re depressed. If there was UBI, they’d have space to manage their depression, which would bring about a want to do things. I’ve written papers on UBI and people have an inherent want to do things, whether or not it’s monetized. People wanting to sit and do nothing are sick. Genuinely. That’s not a feature of a healthy, happy human. I think that’s a really important bit to remember while we’re so deep into this capitalistic society that happily encourages illness in the lower classes so the upper classes can profit the most.
I found that having a job really helped with my depression. Not because of money or self worth or anything, but the enforced routine that made have to get up and get dressed and do stuff. It wouldn't have had to be a job. It could have been any commitment. But the fact that it was a job had added benefits.
I used to be like that after I read Thomas Ligotti's "the conspiracy against the human race". I guess I still am but I managed to find something worth living for. Basically the book is about and I quote "that nonexistence is absolutely preferable to existence, and that human society is in large part a sort of self-reinforcing mechanism to distract us from these and related truths" and I completely agree
So true. I quit school because of mental health issues, and just sat at home for a year and I felt so much worse. Now I have a part time job, and even though it isn't something I'm passionate about, and my mental health issues are still there, at least I have something to do and I am earning a little bit of money so I'm not completely financially dependent on someone else. That at least makes me feel a bit like a human being, instead of just a pile of garbage. I wish there was something like UBI, or a less restrictive financial support system for chronically ill people, so I wouldn't have to depend on a job that often makes me feel exactly like the person who posted that confession (can't be myself, have to deal with guests who treat me badly and I can't stand up for myself, etc), but I would have the financial resources to take care of myself and invest in myself so I can find something that makes me happier. Maybe even go back to school. Right now I can't afford that, nor do I have the time, because of said job. It's a shitty situation, and I'm one of the privileged people who even have a job and a stable support system in the form of loving friends and family and partner. There are people who have it so much worse, which is awful.
The being able to write a convincing job application but not a convincing resume actually makes a lot of sense to me, because while applying for jobs that person probably saw a lot more real examples of job applications than real resumes. They were probably nervous about language, writting style and formatting rather than actual qualifications.
I work at Disney World. Up until last year they had a rule about only neutral nail polish colors because it “looked more professional”. This applied to everyone even if you were just working in a gift shop. Last year Disney started working really hard on making themselves look more progressive and they finally loosened the rules up a little bit. Now we’re allowed any color but we can’t use multiple colors and we can’t have chunky glitters. It’s progress, but not a ton.
@@johku7638 So I work at the OTHER Disney park (Anaheim! Disneyland!) But we have the same rules for the same reasons. The reason we have such strict rules on appearance is that us CMs are part of the theming. It's small, but if we're supposed to convince the guests that we're, for example, a shopkeeper on the distant and opressed planet of Batuu, having intricate flakey nail polish or vibrant hair excessories might clash with the setting.
I'm neurodivergent and I don't want to work. I know people say find what you love to do and monetize it. But I want to just enjoy the creative process without the pressures that come with it being moved from hobby to job. It's hard to find the right fit. I'm a great employee, and a great leader, but I just feel like the common work structures suck what little energy I have and make it where I have nothing left for things I enjoy and spending time with my kid. So I can identify with the poster who said they didn't want to work. It's hard when the mold wasn't made for you and how you function.
This is why a lot of artists burn out. My sister started going to college for art because it's her passion and her favorite thing to do, but she quickly realized after a semester that she did not want to do art as a career, because she wants to draw/paint/write what she is inspired to, not what people want to pay for.
@@hailyjohnson407 Exactly this! If I could afford to work part time I would. Contribute to society but not burn out to where there's no time to be me. And every time I've tried to monetize what I enjoy, it's ruined the joy for me. The burn out is too common and no one talks about it!
There is absolutely value in doing what you love, irrespective of its financial outcomes. This could be a whole other conversation outside the scope of this pod that is separate from 'work' for the purposes of financial outcomes, and I totally agree. Much love support for you 💕 - Cristine
@@simplypodlogical Thanks Cristine. It goes without saying you have my love and support as well. It's just a big complicated topic with a thousand gray areas. I too am a proponent of a universal income but especially in the US, it feels impossible. Capitalism teaches us that our only value and contribution is through work hours and many buy into that.
The person who doesn't want a job is depressed ? They mentioned suicidal tendencies. They need help. Doing things you don't want to do is extra hard if you don't even want to live.. I think their health problem should be addressed before their contributions to society..
Agreed! Having a really polarizing outlook on work and fulfillment in life is a red flag that you’re struggling with something serious. I speak from experience.
That doesn't negate their point of not wanting to work though. They can be depressed and still just hate work. It's hard to be happy when you're being forced to do something you hate so you can eat.
Absolutely an important point and I hope OP is seeking help. Mental health can play a big role here, and wasn't something we really went into. A whole conversation on its own. Every person has value outside of 'work' and mental health is something we all need to consider and be compassionate. - Cristine
If I could receive universal basic income, I’d start sewing for a living. I love sewing and it has helped me in recovery from bulimia, but constant work responsibilities to earn a livable wage always takes me away from it because I’m not a professional seamstress who can sew for a living (yet).
Lately I've found myself wondering how often the idea of "wanting to do nothing" is more about the idea of not wanting everything thing they do having a capitalist value associated with it. Beyond the more common aspects of early grad school anxiety, this was something that I wrestled with in the fist couple years of grad school. I didn't want to not do the work, but I didn't want to feel like every minute had some kind of monetary value and was owned my someone outside of me. Now that I'm nearing the dissertation phase of my PhD I feel a little less overwhelmed which is think is largely because now there are significantly less demands on me outside of my projects. I don't know if it's always accurate to just consider someone who wants to not have a job as lazy or someone who just someone who wants to sit on the couch. They might just want to do things without others ascribing a value on it that they ultimately benefit from as much or more than the person doing the work. For example, my department benefits as much, and often more than, I do from the work that I do while I'm employed by them by being able to continue to use any success I have as a means to negotiate for more funding, more prestige, or even as an advertising point to entice new students to enter the program. I still get the degree and the opportunity to continue to succeed, but I likely will not attain the same level of capital for myself that I have earned for my department while working under them. I also think that depression can play a big role in framing this narrative. From my own experience, I've noticed that it can be easier to see the successes of others (and institutions) over the successes and prospects for ourselves. It's also easy to not see the struggles that it tool for others (and institutions) to gain that success.
Thiiiiis. Yes. Our livelihoods are tied to working 40+ hours a week and more and more that isn’t enough to live the way our parents and their parents did. More work for less payout in terms of how far our money goes and benefits go as well. My job probably wouldn’t seem so stressful if I knew I wouldn’t be destitute without it. I’m on a contracted job and I had to sign a FIVE year non-compete… for a job I’m contracted to do for 1.5 years. There’s so much nuance to this, too much for a one hour podcast. I understand cristine’s perspective but it’s definitely a little two dimensional.
Same. I work in engineering and half my salary goes towards rent and I don't have enough time at the end of the day/week to even have a second job. They take so much and ask so much of my position but I get little in return. Starting to look for a new job but I'm also finding myself wishing I didn't have to work at all and just live and be happy.
This is 100% it. And that's why I've taken time to do things I enjoy without making it into a chore or a job opportunity. But I can do that because I'm out of a job right now and have the time. When I was working full time all I did was sleep because I had no energy left for myself.
The problem in the US is that you don’t have the broad ability to pursue what makes you happy because of health insurance. Finding a job that provides benefits is often going to outweigh a job that you enjoy and feel fulfilled by that doesn’t. I’ve spent my whole life chasing health insurance because of a genetic kidney disease (now transplant). I absolutely cannot live without insurance. I am lucky to have a job that pays well and offers really good benefits (ironically, working for a health insurance company) but my work is tediously mind-numbing and unfulfilling. I wake up every morning wishing I didn’t have to log in. I’m back in school to change direction (for the third time) but i won’t pretend that working full time and taking 17 credits at almost 40 years old, is anything other soul crushing. I can completely understand not wanting to face that existential dread and just check out.
@Pinnacle Weirdo that’s great for you. The unfortunate reality is that direct plans have worse benefits and higher out of pocket limits than group plans and people with chronic conditions generally can’t afford another $3000-$6000 each year on top of premium payments- especially when you’re already capping your out of pocket max.
Completely agree with this! I also want to add that even if you do pursue something your passionate for, a lot of the time, it’s just not enough to provide you shelter, food, water, or other necessities on the table in general (not just healthcare). I’m a figure skater. In fact, figure skating is my first love. But it’s difficult to make a living off of it full time. You either need to become a world class competitor, coach, or influencer to really have a chance on gaining Monetization from it. Even then, only a FEW actually get to that world class level and only a FEW actually become successful to make a living off of social media. I think what a lot of people forget is that being successful on social media is very luck based. Even people with 6k subscribers don’t make enough from their social media platform to survive. As for becoming a coach, you have to hustle A LOT in order to make enough to actually live and even then, you still may need to pick up a second job. It’s these reasons why I don’t bother to pursue a career in figure skating and just keep it as a hobby instead. I’d rather go for a career in the healthcare field since those jobs are more stable and as the commenter mentioned, provides excellent benefits that you can survive as well.
I feel this so deeply. I didn't graduate college until I was 27 (mostly due to severe psychological impairments, and guess what - no health insurance), and only then was I able to get a full-time job with "benefits" - except it was a temp job. So the insurance was a cheap, terrible, HORRIBLE, disgusting piece of sh** (Kaiser Permanente), and I had zero PTO. But it was all I could get in the field I wanted to work in (policy-related non-profit), and I needed it immediately. I became EXTREMELY physically ill in 2020 and was barely able to work; but I couldn't quit because I needed the insurance. But the doctors at Kaiser were so f***ing incompetent. They kept blaming all my maladies on my weight and on allergies (which was only 20% correct), and even when I was on a double dose of Zyrtec, benadryl every 6 hours, and lost 20lbs, they dug their heels and stated that was the only issue and I needed to follow the regimen "correctly." They even did a biopsy which came out negative. I demanded bloodwork, and after the first GP refused to because "I didn't need it," the second one "humored" me, and I had elevated ANA, anemia, and a high white blood cell count. "Oh that's common with eczema and allergies." All the while I kept failing at my job, unable to properly work, completely dissociated, and almost got fired. At one point I got a formal warning against me. I was nauseous, dizzy, vomiting every few days, covered in rashes, scratched corneas. God I was so f***ing sick. But trapped. I was finally able to jump ship a year later, found a job in a medical non-profit with great health insurance and accrued PTO. I went back to my childhood GP who was mortified by my experience and referred me to three different specialists. Within two months I had surgery, and they found a 10cm tumor in my neck. I had cancer. THE WHOLE F***ING TIME. Thank god I'm completely recovered and in remission now, but the whole thing was a nightmare. I really feel for you, and I'm so glad you're getting to go back to school and redirect because even if it's so difficult to do, we f***ing deserve it. Good luck to you and your endeavors
I think the person who confessed they don't want a job wasn't saying they want to sit around doing nothing, but the pressure of "having a career" in order to be able to live is really overwhelming for young people. Unless you are privileged enough to come from an upper middle class family a lot of high school students have the very real pressure on them to see working as a means of survival, not as a means for personal fulfillment. Not to mention being highly plugged in to the internet they are probably getting a lot of exposure to peoples' horror stories of working bad jobs or having nightmare customers. The idea that a career can be about pursuing your personal goals and passions is largely overtaken by the need to make money. Even in new creative fields like TH-cam, a lot of people are being burned out by feeling the need to monetize all of their hobbies and ways they enjoy spending time.
On the last confession, the OP states that they are depressive and deal with suicidal ideation, while also stating that they reject work, but they then describe it as a 'retail job in the 9 to 5 schedule', that even perfectly optimistic and bubbly people also have issues with. Maybe that's all the prospects they have, which could be just whats available in their area, or an assumption on their part, its certainly more dificult to find employment that doesn't require years of experience and a degree for an entry level position in a non retail, public facing job. Having a youtube channel can also be work, especially if they put in the same hours and effort that they would, in a 'regular job', though it is true that they don't have any financial or job security doing so, seems like they feel able to do it which is preferable to nothing, especially if it helps them get up and start their day, as they sound young on the financial aspects, doing youtube could give them the confidence to one day find work in a field they enjoy, or even found their own company. On the ubi, even if some don't work they are still contributing to the economy by spending it, those with little money must spend it all to survive, its those with loads of wealth that they turn into bonds and gold, that cause stagnation, so even if some people become a couch potato, they still spend on food, rent, utilities.
I felt they were being a little harsh with that person. They didn't say "I wanna sit around a do nothing." They just don't want to deal with the pressures of job seeking and grinding work with karens all around. And yeah, maybe they can't afford college, so they can only get jobs where they're treated liked lower members of society.
Zyler playing “got your nose” with Ben using his little holey-sock foot is the cutest thing I’ve seen this week 😍🥰 (Yes, when I see Zyler’s paw, I imagine he’s wearing white socks with a hole in the toe 😆)
Confession: When I was 10, my BFF stopped talking to me because of her newer, cooler friends. In retaliation, I logged onto her Club Penguin account (she was a fool to trust me with the password) and said the word "shit," giving her a three-day ban. I then was convinced that the school or FBI would come after me for this cyber crime, and didn't tell anyone for like four years.
Long time listener, first time commenter. First,I love you guys. I love your sense of humor and how down to earth you both are, but… I just want to point out that lots of rich people don’t work, or don’t work a 9-5, and I don’t hear a lot of people complaining about them “not contributing”. I don’t know many people in the US that don’t feel a bit stuck in the hamster wheel of capitalism without the ability (time/money/health insurance) to explore their passions, or even just get some mental health help.
I personally hate rich people who don't work, fondly, whereas I just don't like it when people around me say they don't want to work, but I don't feel as strongly for them as I do for the people ACTUALLY doing it. I just don't think is fair that people feel entitled to only "chase their passions" while maintaining the same lifestyle as they do in the world as it functions right now. Like, why do you get to paint and draw all day but farmers don't? And if everyone just did that, read, paint, sew, we would probably have to go back to hunting or gathering or maybe even eating each other, because then there would be nobody to provide the things we've grown to be so used to, such as processed foods, electricity, internet, electronics, clothes, transport, etc.
@@saraergonot I agree with your point, but something you might find surprising - a lot of farmers in the US are super wealthy. This didn't used to be the case (grandparents on both sides of my family nearly starved while farming). But now you often need expensive equipment and a lot of land to make it profitable, so the farms that still exist are very successful ones. They do work hard - my dad met with a number of these people, one of their children nearly died from interacting with livestock, but it didn't stop him from continuing. But they're millionaires.
On the coffee confession: caffeine affects absorbtion of insulin, and as a diabetic, that's really bad. I'm also caffeine free because if kidney stones. Although I don't think one cup of caffeine would have a grand affect on a person, you never know what underlying conditions could be negatively affected. I'm glad the confessor did caffeine free, but please, don't mess with people's food. That can be very dangerous.
@@kaceeharrison3715 you know this Starbucks frappichinos at the store in those glass bottles? Those literally have the same caffeine as a soda. I now only buy the dunkn doughnuts version because they actually label the caffeine content.
@@emmyjulianne6850 It can still be illegal. Presenting something as one thing when it's actually another is illegal. Was the scenario this time harmless, it turned out to be. But what if that coworker went in there an changed the vanilla creamer with hazelnut creamer and didn't tell anyone and I'm there, who is allergic to hazelnuts, and now I have to go to the hospital because someone thought it would be funny to switch the containers... That's the same exact thing. It's not okay.
In the US "food stamps" aka EBT/SNAP/WIC come as a debit card to be more discreet. It can be used at any grocery store, but if you purchase a non food item (such as a bag of dog food, toilet paper) you'll be charged for these items after the transaction posts. This way there is no walk of shame to put items back in the grocery store once you are at checkout.
And they've even recently updated it to look like a regular discrete card rather than the neon, ultra-identifiable card with EBT written across the front in enormous block lettering. Progress!
That’s crazy, in mexico we have some kind of thing that in theory looks to be the same as food stamps. The thing is, the great majority of wage jobs and a fair amount of salaried jobs offer them as a benefit. Although you can only use them in supermarkets, convenience stores or gas stations, depending on the program they hook you up with, it is a thing that has really no social stigma to it. Some jobs offer them as coupons but nowadays they come as ordinary plastic cards. I really can’t fathom giving a nasty look to people that have the opportunity to use stamps to live or even survive. It makes me sick people have go deal with survival and then the social stigma of trying to survive.
I found out from a manager of mine and I worked in market research that often times when you hear stories about not being allowed to wear brightly colored nails or long nails it's actually a discriminatory thing. that traditionally for a long time and brightly colored especially acrylic nails were often referred to as "ghetto stabbers", and they would often be banned alone with women of color wearing their hair naturally because it didn't look neat and tidy. as for Food Service employers are far less concerned about nail polish into itself then they are concerned about acrylic or press on or gel nails because those physically can break off and get in food where is Chip nail polish is pretty rare to end up in someone's food. additionally if you have long nails especially if it's a stiletto tip it's very easy to cut through latex gloves. so there are practical reasons to not wear acrylics in the Foodservice industry, or Healthcare I rarely ever do nurses nails for those exact reasons, but in an office environment.... no there is not any practical reason to prevent employees for having brightly colored nails their own or acrylic/gel/press on.
@@kaceeharrison3715 Hmm idk if I really believe that. I don't know how it would pose a health/safety issue in an office environment. But I do know that in the past, long colorful nails have been associated with being "ghetto", "tacky", and "trashy", because it was fairly normal for black women to do there nails in such a way. So I don't believe it's that far fetched to think, that the ideology of long colorful nails being considered "unprofessional" is born from black women doing there nails in such a manner.
I feel the last confession a lot myself. As someone who has a lot of mental health issues, the idea of being hyper productive in a capitalistic society is beyond exhausting. This is exacerbated by the fact that some of us, me included, are not in anyway motivated by financial gain or material assets. So we are actively fighting a lack of motivation on two fronts. While I'd argue probably no one LOVES the idea of working a 9-5 job for most of their entire life, I'd say most people do find being productive in that way to be fulfilling. Some of us just aren't built that way and it's just picking the short stick in life - and that's not even touching the social stigma of being this type of person that everyone just categorizes as lazy when it's really just the economic system sapping the life out of you.
If you really think about it, the phrase "Earn a living" is really fucked and ableist. Every human deserves a right to live. Every human deserves the right to food, water, and housing, regardless of whether they contribute to society in a material way. Even if that person never 'works', remember that they are a positive influence in someone else's life, and have inherent value.
Agreed, one reason why I like countries with a working social system. In Germany you can apply for minimum payment. It’s not a lot and there are a lot of limitations regarding what flat you can live in but in general you can live off of it.
You said it perfectly! Living isn't just about working. We only covered the 'work' angle but I think this is a totally important conversation as well. - Cristine
So the issue with nail polish in the workplace is not only it chipping but also it tends to harbor more bacteria when it begins to chip or peel. It’s usually not allowed in elderly care also.
In healthcare, the only thing allowed is unchipped polish. No acrylics, no gels, and the length is an issue too. Basically, if you can look at the palm side of your hand and see your nails over your fingertips, then they are too long....
I'm a nurse in the UK. I have never worked anywhere where any nail polish at all was permissable. It was bare nails only. As you say the chipped polish can harbour bacteria but darker polish can also hide that there's dirt underneath nails.
I want to thank Zyler (at least I think it was Zyler) for yowling and meowing so loud in the background that it set my Toast off in a chorus of caterwauling. 😂
Serious note: never, ever mess with someone else’s food without telling them. Even if it seems harmless, you don’t know if someone has an allergy, intolerance, or sensitivity - and this includes not only ingredients in food and drink, but where they are processed, stored, and prepared. Cross contamination on equipment with wheat and nuts is a big one. So please - it’s not funny or helpful, even if you’re trying to make people eat “healthier” - such as by switching to decaf secretly. (Also, what’s healthiest for one person isn’t healthiest for another. Dairy is good for some people, bad for those with intolerances and allergies. Nuts are a great source of protein, but are detrimental to those with allergies or those who are prone to kidney stones. Be understanding that different people NEED to follow different diets, and don’t try to “surprise! I made you eat *food*, wasn’t it great?” people for your own satisfaction.
On the last confession, as Ben kinda touched on I've personally dealt with a serious lack of drive for majority of my life. And in Cristine's pinned comment, it is largely in relation to my mental health. I've struggled with depression, anxiety, and now have recently been diagnosed with ADHD. All very heavy influences on why the general idea of working, is incredibly daunting for me. Let's not forget individual's general life experiences, and how that plays through well into their adult years, when it's expected of them to be totally independent, which I am NOT. I find it embarrassing to even admit, I'm almost 30 years old and I still live at home with my mom and her partner. Growing up I struggled in school, I can't say if I had a learning disability or not, if it had anything to do with likely struggling with ADHD. I just had a serious lack of interest, but I also just constantly felt(and still often feel) stupid. And it's very apparent, especially in America, public schools tend to epically fail children who are more vulnerable and need more help. The same rings true for adults. I don't have any specific passion, and yes, often times I'm in the mindset of "I don't want to work, period." It's a mix of lack of drive and again, taking into account my personal struggles related to mental health. Which has only worsened in the past 3 years due to covid directly, and closely because of seeing a MASSIVE spike in crime rate in the states, especially in my area. Initially I had been lucky enough to work with my mother, and it catered almost perfectly to my needs and limitations. My anxiety was kept to a minimal because I had the sense of security of mother being within reach at all times and knowing I had the freedom most jobs don't allow. If a client was unreasonable or raised their voice at me, there my mother was to put them back in their place; defend me. The general environment worked in my favor, while also providing me a comfortable safe space to learn some basic necessary work skills. For several personal reasons, her business was shut down, and suddenly I was forced to work some really terrible retail jobs that one after another threw me in some of my darkest depressive episodes. Forcing me into situations that left me constantly riddled with anxiety and overall general stress. The last job I had before covid was the best I had, second only to working with my mother. My coworkers were amazing, my bosses were amazing, the pay was nice, and it was close to home. Unfortunately due to covid I had to quit working largely for safety reasons. That job wouldn't be able to provide me a more solid full time position, even pre-covid. There's a serious lack of opportunities for people like myself, and those with even stricter limitations. Not much wiggle room here to try new things, especially not in areas that would require education beyond high school level that for many like myself, is not feasibly possible. Not financially and potentially not realistic when again thinking of individual's struggle to learn in the conventional sense. Options feel extremely limited. EDIT: This is pretty obvious but when taking things like depression into account, the most basic things can become incredibly challenging for a person. Getting out of bed at all for example. Everyone processes and functions differently and again, unfortunately largely such needs are not taken into consideration largely in the world.
I never understood why nail polish was treated as some sort of distraction in an office setting when everyone is probably in a cubicle where no one else can see you anyway. Imagine a conversation like “OMG Becky, look at her nail polish it’s so red and loud I can’t work it’s so disgusting” 🤣🤣🤣
Cris, the guy stealing resumes probably also stole a fake job listing to post. Just looked up jobs he wanted, stole the text of the job listing, post that same stuff on like craigslist or something and the responses will go to you.
Maybe it's because I'm from another country, but for me it's really easy to do a fake job listing post. Just post like "HIRING: graphic designer at X place" and create some numbers and infos
I can relate to the last poster's confession. I'm currently in my last semester of law school and I just feel completely burnt out. I'm constantly feeling anxious about schoolwork and can never truly relax. I'm starting to look for jobs and I feel this dread of knowing that I am likely going to be working 12+ hour days as an attorney. It feels exhausting. I wish I could take off six months after graduation to recharge, but I know I can't do that because of student loans.
one of the servers at my work quit my job bc they got mad at her for taking a week off for mental health during busy christmas time. personally i completely understood, especially since our work is stressful and busy all the time. i really hate that they treated her like that, even if it was busy, we literally have sick days for a reason and you shouldn’t have to answer to why you’re using the sick day, if you genuinely don’t feel well enough to come to work.
Spoiler alert: many people don't want to work. I'm one of them. I'm 33 and I still feel this way, but I still struggle through the 9-5 and make good enough money that I should be able to retire early. My goal is to do nothing and sit on my couch and it still motivates me to be able to do that in the long-run! $300 a month is not nearly enough to live off of. I make $5000 a month pre-tax and it's just enough to be comfortable, be healthy, and own property.
I'm the same way. I still want to and try to do well in my 9-5 job, but do I love it? Absolutely not lol. And I don't really know where I want to be either because nothing that requires you to work at a desk for so many hours every day sounds that interesting. I think we should normalize not having a dream job. Some people aren't goal driven like Cristine and that's fine. We just wanna be comfortable:) although I'd also like to be rich but again, don't want to work THAT hard to be haha
Same here. Having to work is absolutely crushing to my soul and I break down several times a year because of it. I have the best job possible for my personality, but it doesn’t matter. The majority of my life is spent creating profit for other people under threat of homelessness and death. It seems really gauche to scold people for recognizing that they live in a world that purports to value freedom and yet dictates exactly what you must do with your life at every turn if you want to stay alive. I will never be okay with that.
I feel that person who doesn't want to work, I find that those of us who want to find work as a creative it's almost impossible. There's no school to job in the creative industry like there is in every other industry, there's also barely any support or security (like almost every other industry). Universal income would be so fucking helpful to allow me to focus instead of having anxiety attacks on what is the most promising way to grow so that I can earn an income. I think we should let those that don't want to work, not work. Because it's obvious that there's more to it than just 'not wanting to work' and thus we should support them in that decision and any other changes that might happen afterwards. There are already so many homeless or impoverished people that there would probably end up being MORE working than not working if we just gave everyone an income and supported everyone. I seriously argue that you wouldn't have to put all this stupid shit in place to 'make sure people make good choices' if there was proper mental and medical support(literally everything in place current deters the people who need the support from accessing it ). Actually teaching cbt in school, raise the emotional maturity(cause currently the current adult is immature emotionally) and emphasize critical thinking.
Honestly I can't watch the whole "I never want a job ever" chapter, it's making me uncomfortable. The OP clearly mentioned struggling with mental health, and to me that's a huge factor. I myself am not in a position where I see myself ever having a regular job, and I'm not happy that I feel this way, but my mental illness is the main reason and it takes precedence over my wants. I also don't think it's alright to judge someone's worth based on whether they can work a job or not. We shouldn't be tools to capitalism, but it's also an easily ableist argument. In this case, the OP appears to either have an unrealistic view of how much money you need to live or be okay with living an uncomfortable life of simple survival. Either way, the issue is much larger imo than "some people don't want to work".
Absolutely an important point and I hope OP is seeking help. Mental health wasn't something we really went into - personally I don't feel comfortable doing so as I am not a mental health expert. A whole conversation on its own. Every person has value outside of 'work' and our value should not be determined by our financial returns from work. Mental health is something we all need to consider and be compassionate. - Cristine
Also, I think they have a pessimistic view of what it means to "have a job". Nowadays, it's way easier to work for yourself, if you're lucky enough to have a talent that you can monetize. It's way harder than finding a 9-5 job, but it's more fulfilling. I always felt the same way as the OP, I think it's humiliating that we have to beg to work somewhere when in reality it's that place that need our skills. Luckily, I can sew and I like to create clothes, so I'm earning some money selling some stuff that I make, but if it wasn't for that I would also be struggling.
For the husband who has a hard time resisting cheating... I wonder if he treats his wife like shit, and that's why she doesn't want to have sex with him. That's what happened to me with my ex. He constantly degraded, antagonized and belittled me, he was emotionally and borderline physically and sexually abusive to me. As a result, it was really hard for me to genuinely want to initiate sex or any affection with him. But all anyone else saw was the charmer. He used a similar line, that women on the street would hit on him, so he should be able to play the field. I was too meek to get away from him for a while, so I "survived" by shutting down.
I think the ideology that people who don't aspire to work simply just don't want to do anything and just sit on the couch all day is kind of flawed. I'm only 23, and I do not want to work; I am severly disabled, but even if I weren't, it is extremely disappointing to me that I have to assign a monetary value to my passions in life, and whatever that value is will ultimately determine my quality of life in society. While I don't want to work, I still want to do plenty of things like create art or open a bakery or be a therapist; I just don't want my quality of life to have to be dependent on whether those things are worth money or deemed economically successful. People should be able to pursue their passions in life without being forced to monetize it. Not sure if any of that made sense, but just some of my thoughts.
I feel the same way! I am finishing high school soon and I am at crossroads of choosing a carreer that pays well or pursuing my passion that wouldnt bring in much money.
Exactly! I’m 32 and still feel this way. I struggle with depression and my previous job made me severely depressed till I was fired. I’m happy now until I realize I have to take another miserable job to be able to pay bills.
Exactly! I absolutely hated that portion of the video. It came off so condescending and I hated how they addressed this mindset. People only think they want to work because that's what they're forced to do. If they weren't conditioned to think this way since birth, the tune would be very different.
Absolutely! We only covered 'work' and didn't cover the value of hobbies that don't necessarily turn into profit. Also a very important thing for people to find and enjoy. - Cristine
@@riverAmazonNZ totally agree. We are almost a quarter of the way into the new millennium. Nobody thinks ‘22 would represent 1922, like they may for ‘96 to represent 1996
I missed out on one of the collections last year and I was so upset I went to e-bay to buy a scalped one and I realized how ridiculous(emotional) I was being so I stopped myself from paying 3x more than the collection was actually sold for. I ended up buying a few of the polishes from the collection I wanted from HT directly and I'm happy with them. I learned that if I missed a collection, I can still buy the individual polishes and my life is still perfectly fine.
Watched this when it originally came out but now I’m back listening again since people are alleging that the confession at 14:23 was from Ned from the try guys 😱
About the person who "didn't want to do anything," without knowing more, they sound like a young person (probably 18-22) who is currently doing well in school (based on how they said they're fine in school) but is so burnt out that the idea of School 2.0:The Working World (this time for 40 years instead of 20ish) just seems unbearable. I was valedictorian of my high school class and graduated within the top quarter of my engineering graduate program, and I felt the same thing. It took so much work to get to that point and I enjoy engineering but it was unsustainable workloads I was constantly being asked to complete. I was regularly staying up until 2-3am to finish homework every night after I got home from work just to have more always end up on my plate at my 8am the next morning. What got me through was the idea that one day I wouldn't have to do that much work anymore. Getting close to graduation and realizing actually how much more there was left to do beyond school made it feel like I was never going to be able to get to the part where I get to have some agency over how I spend my time since the last 20 were dictated by other people telling me what I "needed" to do. Wanting everything to stop and to do nothing sounded ideal. However when I got a moment to do nothing I realized it was the self agency and ability to feel in control for the first time in my life that I wanted. The desire to do nothing was my brain saying I've neglected myself so long that I'm verging into the territory of trying not to exist anymore. That person has a lot to offer, it feels to me that they have had the will and drive to contribute beaten out of them.
Honestly, I feel this so much. I graduated 5th in my class in high school, doing everything to look good for college, and now I'm in college, had to do an extra year because of transferring and changing life plans, and now I'm on year 4 of 5, with plans for med school after graduating, and it's exhausting. I work part time and have 17 credit hours every semester, and when I get home from work and class, I just want to lay on the couch and play games or watch TH-cam, not do homework. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that once I get the education and job that I want, my weekly workload will drop significantly, but I'll be making way more. It's just so hard to maintain just enough sanity to not burn out first
Hi Emily, as someone in their last uni semester studying engineering and working part time in the field too as part of a degree apprenticeship, I really needed to hear this. Thanks for taking the time to write it. Last push!
That person might be better suited to become his own boss in some way, as an inventor or consulting engineer, depending on their specialty and inventiveness. But being his own boss will still involve periods of hard grinding work to keep his business going.
“When I got a moment to do nothing I realized it was the self agency and ability to feel in control that I wanted” That hit the nail on the head for me, FANTASTIC way of identifying that feeling
My aunt (a professional resume writer) created a resume for me after college that made me look employable. I did lie a few times. For example, she made herself a reference for me and pretended to have employed me in her office. It worked because she has a business and we have different last names.
Yeah I have to say I've encountered this "embelishment" of resumes a lot especially among students here in Europe who are applying for the first time. Lots of people re-phrase things to make it sound like they had very serious experiences or have simply worked in a "good position" in their family's company. On one hand it is dishonest and all, but I do wonder if this has become almost a necessity in today's job market. Simple entry-level jobs no longer feel entry-level with so many requirements for knowledge and experience, so people lie so they can even get in. I'm not excusing it, but it doesn't surprise me.
Having been professionally involved in résumé and candidate screening, I've observed that résumés are typically TERRIBLE. For lower-level positions, the résumés are often lazy and full of stupid mistakes. And for higher-level positions the résumés become increasingly vague and sometimes completely unrelated to the advertised position. It's confounding. Sneakily gathering the résumés of your competition is a fantastic idea IF you're smart enough to use that information wisely.
As someone with depression and anxiety, I really relate to the person who said they didn't want to work ever. It's not that I don't want to work ever, it's that just holding a minimum wage job and scraping by is as much as my depression and anxiety can handle, and I STILL get burnt out really easily. I'm finally back in school trying to look for other career paths, but my mental illness has gotten so bad I've considered going to Disability Services on my campus and talking to them. The person in their post said they're depressed. That can really change your motivations and how easily you get burnt out.
There is a rule at my place of business where it says if you're wearing nail polish or fake nails you must wear gloves while handling food. Problem is that it's not a well known rule and isn't always enforced.
I used to work at McDonald's with my friends where we would get a free medium meal with every shift. I have no issue stealing from them cause they are terrible employers. All but maybe 3 or 4 of my managers were awful. They didn't know how to run the place and were just mean to the employees. Our location was known for being the worst in the city. 2 of my friends used to steal food on their shifts all the time. When they went on their breaks they would walk past each other with their backpacks open and then throw random bags of food into them as they pass. I would've joined the thievery too but we worked different days.
Please I desperately need the clip of Zyler tapping Ben's nose as a Podcast Highlight video. I've watched that part back so many times, its just so hilarious. 😂😂😂
I already watched this last year but as I am rewatching parts oft it now, I thought of Ned Fulmer as they read the post about the cheater who has millions of views on TH-cam.
I just really really appreciate cristine's existence on youtube, her views and nuances on some topics just really motivates me and makes me feel happy.
I will say that there is privilege when viewing people who don't want to do anything. This aditittude usually if not always stems from mental health issues. And mental health issues is a valid reason to not work. Realistically these people would really benefit from the baseline salary so they can survive while getting the help they need. I see it as a long stem of mental health stigma because people feel cheated by this attitude, but motivation comes with mental health. All in all it is more productive to want to help these people than be upset by it.
There is also a level of classism. I am saying all this not to call out but as a chance to call I because I don't believe this prospective had been covered or presented
From what the poster commented and from experience, when someone is going on about not wanting to do anything and how they are depressed what they are debating between isn't work or no work it is surviving or having thoughts and feelings of not surviving. Doesn't mean they will stay in that state, I didn't, but I can relate because it is at a place that is past desperation and into numbness. The only feelings really felt is the feeling of shrinking. This is what I was getting at with checking privileges when it comes to mental health. Generally speaking I think Ben and Cristine do a good job on thinking about these kinds of things. But I think they missed it this time
Definitely. Mental health can play a big role here, and wasn't something we really went into. A whole conversation on its own. Every person has value outside of 'work' and mental health is something we all need to consider and be compassionate. - Cristine
Do you mean they should just receive a baseline salary for nothing? I think this is the worst thing you could do for someone. Realistically, a lot of peaople would opt not to work and be "depressed". I have a relative that was supported by their divorced mother until 28 yo, 2 college majors AND therapy, and they only went to work when the money flow stopped cause the poor woman couldn't do it anymore for no results. They were, like the OP, not wanting to do menial, repetitive 9 to 5 jobs and was waiting for some big break from heavens. A lot of poor families in my country just plop out more children for the child support money, so they won't have to go to work... It's a thing, people want to cheat the system. I think what should be done is offer some kind of free therapy sessions and options. They could start with some part time jobs and then talk with a professional about it. But piggybacking on others for support will never give anyone the self reliance and self confdence needed. The idealistic option would be to also change the systm. It's proved that less work hours make us more productive... But idk, it's just my opinion tho, from what I have seen around me.
@@warwick3039 baseline salaries aren't providing more than various ei or disability. Rather it it makes these kinds of government help filtered through one thing. It ends up saving government money because their stuff is more organized and less manipulated (easier to catch a rare manipulation when it isn't several different organizations handling everything). And these kind of payments: ei, disability, etc. Are barely enough to make ends means and often don't act do that. On top of that someone can be getting disability payments and still be working but are not able to work more than they are. Of course solutions take many moving parts and one thing can't fix every aspect. People need to be able to get help when needed but doing so is more like (not guaranteed as there is no guarantees in life truly) if they aren't being dragged down in other ways. Accessibility around health care in all shapes in forms is a whole other layered issue. Unfortunately there will always be some people that struggle, but an increase chance of being supported can make a big difference towards a mass of people. No one size fits all
I wonder why Ben didn't mention that one poster's depression and s* thoughts, monetization issues, maybe? But I feel like if they were mentioned Cristine's response might have been different. It seems to me like more of a mental health issue rather then them just having a bad day
@@NotCreativeForThis that would make sense if this was a livestream, but it's a prerecorded podcast. If they weren't going to fully adress it, might as well pick a different story. No hate towards the two, of course, just curious
I agree. It should have been included. I usually just listen to the podcast (it is meant to be a podcast after all) so I would have missed that part entirely if I didn’t happen to watch the episode this time.
The "I don't want to go work ever" left a sour taste in my mouth how you responded to it. I understand that if you can't relate or understand where this person is coming from, it makes it hard to see the whole picture but just saying it is "just a bad day" makes my blood boil.
I've got some thoughts on the whole "don't want to work ever" thing. I'm pretty much in that sitting on a couch and doing nothing situation in my life. You could say for somewhat good reasons, there are some health things keeping me from moving on with my studies. But the guilt of not doing anything is such a great stressor. Constantly being on your toes on the edge of not being healthy enough but not doing quite bad enough either and having to prove yourself for the state to see worth in helping you is draining. I know I have all the means of proceeding with the assignments required to graduate, and it makes you feel like you're just not doing it for no reason at all. What I think is great about the concept of UBI is that that stress is removed. I find it so repulsive that we as a culture think we need to force people into the working life in conditions less than optimal for actually fulfilling life. I believe the tiny percentage of people abusing the system for no reason at all is insignificant compared to the effort that at least my local government puts into forcing people to work. Where I live you can technically game your way out of responsibilities without risking basic needs, but there is a massive amount of bureaucracy working on the thousands of different types of support and it takes so damn much effort away from literally everything else in need of fixing. Work and routine are important and I think with the stress of surviving and figuring your way through proving you rEaLlY need the existing help in our current system is such a waste of time. I realize I'm in extremely lucky situation and a lot of people can't even dream about the help I've received. But I know I'm not the only one who would find joy in the things you're actually interested in if you didn't need to fill a certain model of successful career path. You'd know you won't fall into a catastrophe if you had a sudden incident in your personal life. I don't think a world where we expect extreme sacrifices and suffering is good enough. Do we actually not trust people to still care to better themselves and earn and use their talent and time just because they have the option not to?
I found you years ago, and you helped get me through the end stages of my pregnancy (when was up at 2am with contractions) and some dark shit in life. And life moves on and I forgot about you. Love seeing y'all here and how well y'all are doing!
Back in my barista days one of my coworkers came in with a full set of fresh acrylics, very long, painted bright orange. We had a strict no nail polish/long nails rule for health and safety reasons. This coworker knew this, she was just a trouble maker, so when our boss told her to get rid of the nails by the start of her next shift she responded by going in the back and CHOMPING ALL OF THEM OFF. WITH HER TEETH. It haunts me to this day.
For the resume confession, the first thought that popped into my head is that he “stole” the job listing (like, the information they posted), and reposted it as something legitimate, then waited for people to send in their resumes lol
Cristine; in case you are reading this, you really had changed my perspective/ thinking of certain situations/ views and I learned SO many things from your guys podcast. I am an adolescent and hearing all of your podcast and the advices that you had given to us had helped me feel more prepared and confident once I am out of high school, instead of being fearful of the unknown. I am so glad that I had found you from the nail polish mountain video, I had never had thought that the lady who did the nail polish mountain video would had been someone impactful in my life. Thank you so much!
Lol by “Togo” the person meant To go meaning she packaged the salad for a customer to pick up and eat at home. That’s probably how the nail got in there. I feel like the story after that the guy should just talk to his wife about it; she might be upset but him keeping this as a secret will be worse in the end. Also he should be more transparent on his platforms about his wife so fans don’t just think he’s available
I work at a homeless shelter. It's so hard to fight for social assistance when people who straight up take advantage of it do exist. There's a guy here right now who has SIX FIGURES in his bank account (No, we cannot refuse him services because of his $). This man is in his mid 50s and thinks that because he's worked 'his whole life' that now the government will take care of him. He wants public housing and they'll laugh him out the door. He thinks we should be taking care of this for him, he's done enough, time to kick back and relax. And then theres the guy in his 70s who got laid off and couldnt afford his rent. Stayed at the shelter while looking for an apartment and a job. Theres the guy that was in jail for 10 years and now he's out and can't get a job that will pay enough to live on his own. Wants to go to school, can't afford it. Wants a job, has no car to get to job. Stuck. UBI would save these people (except for the $$$ guy only he can save himself). Whether its a months rent, a security deposit, a car payment, or food to eat, UBI can bridge the gap between employment and unemployment. It can be startup money for someone moving out on their own. There are people who will abuse the system. There always has been and always will be. They are so very few to the multitude that would benefit.
The thing is, in my opinion, people who would abuse better systems are already abusing the systems we have. We’re never going to be able to eliminate that behavior, but we can make our world a better place to live for people who need it.
For the one about the person not wanting to work, I feel like their feelings are completely valid. I think 'not wanting to work at all and sit on the couch all day' is an acceptable opinion to have. I hate how people associate a person's worth or value with how much work they do or how much money they produce, it's stupid and it essentially boils people down to labour. Even if a person never gets a job their entire life I would still consider them a valuable person, because nobody asked to be born so nobody should be obligated to contribute to a society that doesn't really give a shit about them. Like isn't it enough for humans just to be born and live? Why do we have to conflate a person's character or personality with their ability to contribute to a failing capitalist society?
Thank you Cristine for being the perspective of the big sister I never had, I always love hearing what you have to say because it always opens my eyes one way or another, the way your always giving the benefit of the doubt and just overall being so down to earth as a human being, I wish more people could be like you, The world would be a much better place.
I love Simply and Ben and always enjoy their takes on various topics, so thank you guys for being a nice escape every Tuesday :). In this episode however I found myself disagreeing on very key points as a mental health specialist - I will start with the confession about not wanting to work - your take was that OP is lazy and that it is on him to not be like this. Actually the lack of motivation is not a personality trait, but a symptom of mental illness (he even mentioned he was depressed) and of systemic issues - as he mentioned - entering the workforce is a nightmare. Some people are more susceptible to this kind of stress, but it is not because they are "lazy", but because their depression or anxiety prevents them from braising themselves for the struggle that is finding a job and accepting that very very few people care about you as a person. My second point is about the man, who is not cheating on his wife. I believe we should judge people by their actions, not thoughts and desires. He is having feelings that he is obviously not proud of and he doesn't act on them. Shaming him (and therefore every one listening who has things about themselves they are not proud of) only discourages the process of acknowledging the feelings, understanding them and finding ways to modify them. If we do not confess those kind of impulses and try to just ignore them so that we do not look bad, Infront of others or ourselves, we won't be able to see where it comes from and are much more likely to eventually act on them.
I think the person who didn’t want to work might simply be overwhelmed by the pressure they are feeling already. Many (undiagnosed) neuro-diverse people feel this way, because they are struggling, but think everyone struggles just the same, but are somehow better at dealing with it. Before my autism diagnosis, I was burned out pretty bad, and didn’t want to do anything. Then I went on sick leave, and realised that I /do/ want to work, but I can’t work the same way neuro-typical people do
This spoke to me. I am 90% sure I have adhd as I exhibit a alllll the traits, but can't afford a diagnosis just yet. I'm already burnt out, and honestly don't wanna exist to work.
Yes! I have ADHD and went from school and working for 7 years, then 2 year master's, and now working a "fulfilling" job. But I've also been burnt out since I was in grade 6. Got diagnosed with ADHD at 26 and meds helped, but finding balance is something that takes a lot of work each day. If I could take a few years odd and recoup I would. Instead I'm trying my best to not let my burnout impact my clients. (I work in mental health, the admin stuff is the struggle, the clients are great.)
Holo everyone! I want to add a note regarding the last r/confessions post. We did not discuss mental health but the OP's position may absolutely be one that needs to take mental health into consideration. I realize now that in sticking on the 'work' side of the conversation we were missing the other contextual piece. Personally I don't feel comfortable speculating or having in-depth conversations about mental health. I am not a mental health expert and I'm just not confident I would be offering the right advice that would best serve those struggling. It deserves more conversation and thought that I just personally feel I can't do justice. But I agree that mental health is something we all need to consider when reflecting on the work and lives of ourselves and others, and to be compassionate. - Cristine
Thank you for addressing it, since the way the conversation headed while disregarding the OP's mental health felt weird
Thank you for the comments on this. I certainly don't expect expertise in areas you don't claim any too. But I'm glad to see this aspect address as personally I didn't want someone feeling attacked with this aspect being addressed as an exception. I really enjoy and appreciate both Cristine and Ben :)
I didn't really see an issue? But regardless bringing it up afterwards is appreciated. Most people over 30ish I find don't have experience with mental health or emotional maturity(and both subjects endless supply of knowledge) unless having an illness. tis a different time back then lol
While us younger folk do; not only cause of the increase in those with a mental illness(thus an increase in people in therapy-where most of this info unfortunately is learned), but also the internet easily accessible. Most know that the older you are, the harder it can be to take in contradicting information from early years(positive or not).
P
As a therapist, I would even need the full context. I don’t know if this person has been depressed for a long time or if this is just an episode, but regardless they should seek out help if this is a common thought. I read this as I don’t want a TRADITIONAL job, which I see clients who are pursuing jobs that aren’t 9-5’s, and I support them even if their parents are telling them it’s stupid. I mean, $300 a month doing TH-cam sounds impressive to me. But if you’re living alone, I would personally suggest finding at least a part-time job you don’t *absolutely hate* while your not-traditional career is rising. Like I had an office job where the work was light but I still made good money, and I rarely talked to people face to face (which I preferred at the time). But it’s also not good to assume the worst, because that self fulfilling prophecy to just be like “everything sucks and it will no matter what I do” is just gonna keep you there. Find the things that encourage mindfulness and the little things in your routine, like when you make your first cup of coffee or tea in the morning, and that makes you happy in the moment. Or loving your pet, wearing your favorite clothes, enjoying the nice weather/scenery, etc.
I can't stop laughing at "togo" salad! The OP most likely meant "to-go salad" as in they prepare the salad for an online order to be picked up to-go.
😭😭 thats what i thought
omg i thought it was the brand togo lmao
I was dying at that too.
Isn’t Togo’s a sandwich chain?
@@NurseOffTheClock Yup that’s what I thought
The fact that Cristine was the college roommate with the printer makes perfect sense.
What? You get one of those! I never had one 💀
Is it funny is I point out that my name is Christine (sadly with an h) and also was the roommate with the printer? Maybe it’s just a C(h)ristine thing xD
Ugh I was one of those too. Yet the university let you print so much a year in your tuition but people are stupidly lazy.
I was too! Although logically I think it's usually the friend who's a lil bit more well off who would have printers or scanners and whatnot
If they release a new green-ish polish they should name it 'Togo salad'
And also add red yellow and orange holo glitters for the dressings and all that! A food collection maybe
They should add it to their office collection, call it Togo Lunch or something lol
with crescent moon shaped glitters to represent the nail :')
OMG YES! aahahahah
YES! 😆😆😆
Pretty sure Togo salad is a “To Go” salad as in prepped ahead of time.
That’s what I was thinking 😂😂
There’s a place called Togo salad too🤣
I thought that was so hilarious!
@@steph_the20something oh I had no idea! Could be that too
I was coming here to say this
My dad worked in the Canadian government as well and he can’t drink caffeinated coffee for medical reasons. He was often the first one in the office and he would brew a pot of decaf and not one damn person in that office figured it out. He’s now retired and took that secret with him.
Until now...
The first cup of hot coffee in the morning can give you a placebo 'caffeine feeling'. He was effectively proving the placebo effect. Caffeine takes about 15min to fully feel it, but you get a big 'energy boost' immediately, from training your brain into expecting the feeling. BTW I'm fully aware of this and still take advantage of that energy boost haha, placebo can be good!
Even decaf has some caffeine in it. The process removes around ninety-seven percent which leaves around 2 mg where as a normal cup has around 95 mg. How many cups did everyone drink on average a day? I'm sure at first it went up as people drank more to get close to a regular cup but then tapered off as their bodies adjusted to the lower caffeine levels.
His coworkers were probably like "Man this coffee's wack"
on the brighter side, your dad may have inadvertently helped his co-workers lessen their dependence/addiction to actual caffeine. unless they brew another pot later in the day.
As a career coach who works with people feeling lost or depressed because of their work, I totally understand how someone would come to the conclusion that they just never want to work. The models of work we’ve most familiar with can be really depressing.
+
@MelissaMcGehee q: who do I talk to about career choices, when I'm 30 and I still can't make up my mind? All I found were companies and career coaches who help one make progress in an existing job, but not the re-start advisors. Help, what is the keyword I'm looking for? Google failed me and my therapist all said career coaches, but apparently nope.
@@askalemuralia It looks like my original comment may have gone to moderation, so I’m commenting again just to make sure you get the info you’re looking for.
A good career coach should absolutely be able to guide you through the process of exploring different career options! You might try using the keywords career guidance and planning when you’re looking for a coach. And specifically ask about tools or exercises to help you narrow down your interests/aptitude/etc. That should help you pick a coach who actually knows what they’re doing because there are a lot of people out there calling themselves coaches who really just help with resumes and cover letters.
I hope that helps!
i’ve been working since i was 17, even took two years off bc i was so mentally and physically ill, and covid. now that my chronic illness is becoming bigger and i’ve never once had a job that didn’t make me dread waking up in the morning, the prospect of working a 9-5 for the rest of my life is dismal and depressing in a visceral way. i have passions and dreams that feel so distant and impossible bc of all the things my illnesses have taken from me. i have to work more than i’m physically capable to survive & i have minimal to no access to the medical care i need. it’s reassuring to know there’s a professional validating some of these feelings.
Yes !! Feel like they were missing a lot of nuance with that one ?
Not wanting to work 40 hours a week to survive isn’t the same thing as “wanting to do nothing”
I know they both worked retail and such before but they don't understand how fortunate they are to go to university, find a job they love while also finding TH-cam success... a big percentage of people are stuck working jobs they hate and are treated terrible at with low pay for most of their life where they also don't have time for their hobbies or any enjoyment in life anymore...
YES, honestly hinging personal value on how much you can contribute to society is problematic in general. And at least in the US, I understand why someone would not want to dedicate their life and body to a system that gives nothing back. It’s just not worth it to a lot of people and I think that’s justified.
@@lovebts honestly, there’s so little jobs that actually require 40hr work weeks. I wish we were lowering the amount of time we all worked, and raising wages.
@@lovebts totally agree
The worst I've ever felt was when I had a full-time job. I feel better being jobless tbh. At least I have energy left to talk to people and interact in day to day life instead of just sleep, work, sleep again.
I totally relate to the person who doesn’t want to work. I’ve been working at least 2 jobs at any given time since I was 17 (I’m 31 now) and it sucks. I’m burnt out and tired. I’ve tried work jobs I’m passionate about and now I hate doing those things (dance and painting) as putting that kind of pressure on my creativity killed any passion I once had. Now I work a 9-5 office job with 2 side hustles. My finances are comfortable but it’s come at the cost of killing my passions and having so little personal time that when I’m off all I want to do is rest.
Yes, just yes. Absolutely.
Not to "diagnose" a stranger, but as a person with adhd this feels very familiar.
@@colorbar.s that’s interesting. I definitely have my suspicions. Unfortunately I’d probably have to get a 4th job to afford a diagnosis/help
I started my own accounting firm back in 2019 with the goal to do what I saw my employers doing - working less and making more $. I’ve been doing 60+ hour weeks for 3 years now and I’m too old for this shit. I don’t want to work this much. I have created spreadsheets to determine how little I need to live a reasonable life and not work anymore. Being an adult sucks.
@@Mortibella ugh it really does suck. I hope you get to retire soon!
Hey Cristine, just wanted to share that my husband just got into college! He's going back at the ripe age of 34. Lol. Starts classes Thursday! So proud of him.
Omg thats great! Congrats!
that's awesome!! congrats!! - Cristine
Yay! Good luck 🤞😃
Wish I could manage that
Re: the person who doesn’t want to work, I think a really important part that they’re skipping over is how depressed OP is. They don’t want to do anything, because they’re depressed. If there was UBI, they’d have space to manage their depression, which would bring about a want to do things. I’ve written papers on UBI and people have an inherent want to do things, whether or not it’s monetized. People wanting to sit and do nothing are sick. Genuinely. That’s not a feature of a healthy, happy human. I think that’s a really important bit to remember while we’re so deep into this capitalistic society that happily encourages illness in the lower classes so the upper classes can profit the most.
I found that having a job really helped with my depression. Not because of money or self worth or anything, but the enforced routine that made have to get up and get dressed and do stuff.
It wouldn't have had to be a job. It could have been any commitment. But the fact that it was a job had added benefits.
I used to be like that after I read Thomas Ligotti's "the conspiracy against the human race". I guess I still am but I managed to find something worth living for. Basically the book is about and I quote "that nonexistence is absolutely preferable to existence, and that human society is in large part a sort of self-reinforcing mechanism to distract us from these and related truths" and I completely agree
you sure can tell Depression isn't something Cristine has any understanding of or sympathy for.
So true. I quit school because of mental health issues, and just sat at home for a year and I felt so much worse. Now I have a part time job, and even though it isn't something I'm passionate about, and my mental health issues are still there, at least I have something to do and I am earning a little bit of money so I'm not completely financially dependent on someone else. That at least makes me feel a bit like a human being, instead of just a pile of garbage. I wish there was something like UBI, or a less restrictive financial support system for chronically ill people, so I wouldn't have to depend on a job that often makes me feel exactly like the person who posted that confession (can't be myself, have to deal with guests who treat me badly and I can't stand up for myself, etc), but I would have the financial resources to take care of myself and invest in myself so I can find something that makes me happier. Maybe even go back to school. Right now I can't afford that, nor do I have the time, because of said job. It's a shitty situation, and I'm one of the privileged people who even have a job and a stable support system in the form of loving friends and family and partner. There are people who have it so much worse, which is awful.
@@faeryvixenetc at least Ben pointed that out
The being able to write a convincing job application but not a convincing resume actually makes a lot of sense to me, because while applying for jobs that person probably saw a lot more real examples of job applications than real resumes. They were probably nervous about language, writting style and formatting rather than actual qualifications.
I really wonder if the man struggling to not cheat on his wife was Ned Fulmer, the timeline and level of fame described make sense
I work at Disney World. Up until last year they had a rule about only neutral nail polish colors because it “looked more professional”. This applied to everyone even if you were just working in a gift shop. Last year Disney started working really hard on making themselves look more progressive and they finally loosened the rules up a little bit. Now we’re allowed any color but we can’t use multiple colors and we can’t have chunky glitters. It’s progress, but not a ton.
That's very interesting....of all places, I would think Disney would encourage color/creativity/freedom of expression!
That is so weird. If I'd think one place where colourful nails would be on brand it would be Disney.
It’s baffling. Why are people so threatened by colour?
@@johku7638 So I work at the OTHER Disney park (Anaheim! Disneyland!) But we have the same rules for the same reasons.
The reason we have such strict rules on appearance is that us CMs are part of the theming. It's small, but if we're supposed to convince the guests that we're, for example, a shopkeeper on the distant and opressed planet of Batuu, having intricate flakey nail polish or vibrant hair excessories might clash with the setting.
They say it’s for professionalism but what they really want is for you to be invisible.
I'm neurodivergent and I don't want to work. I know people say find what you love to do and monetize it. But I want to just enjoy the creative process without the pressures that come with it being moved from hobby to job.
It's hard to find the right fit. I'm a great employee, and a great leader, but I just feel like the common work structures suck what little energy I have and make it where I have nothing left for things I enjoy and spending time with my kid.
So I can identify with the poster who said they didn't want to work. It's hard when the mold wasn't made for you and how you function.
This is why a lot of artists burn out. My sister started going to college for art because it's her passion and her favorite thing to do, but she quickly realized after a semester that she did not want to do art as a career, because she wants to draw/paint/write what she is inspired to, not what people want to pay for.
@@hailyjohnson407 Exactly this! If I could afford to work part time I would. Contribute to society but not burn out to where there's no time to be me. And every time I've tried to monetize what I enjoy, it's ruined the joy for me. The burn out is too common and no one talks about it!
There is absolutely value in doing what you love, irrespective of its financial outcomes. This could be a whole other conversation outside the scope of this pod that is separate from 'work' for the purposes of financial outcomes, and I totally agree. Much love support for you 💕 - Cristine
@@simplypodlogical Thanks Cristine. It goes without saying you have my love and support as well.
It's just a big complicated topic with a thousand gray areas. I too am a proponent of a universal income but especially in the US, it feels impossible. Capitalism teaches us that our only value and contribution is through work hours and many buy into that.
The person who doesn't want a job is depressed ? They mentioned suicidal tendencies. They need help. Doing things you don't want to do is extra hard if you don't even want to live.. I think their health problem should be addressed before their contributions to society..
Agreed! Having a really polarizing outlook on work and fulfillment in life is a red flag that you’re struggling with something serious. I speak from experience.
I agree!
That doesn't negate their point of not wanting to work though. They can be depressed and still just hate work. It's hard to be happy when you're being forced to do something you hate so you can eat.
Absolutely an important point and I hope OP is seeking help. Mental health can play a big role here, and wasn't something we really went into. A whole conversation on its own. Every person has value outside of 'work' and mental health is something we all need to consider and be compassionate. - Cristine
This is absolutely the truth!
If I could receive universal basic income, I’d start sewing for a living. I love sewing and it has helped me in recovery from bulimia, but constant work responsibilities to earn a livable wage always takes me away from it because I’m not a professional seamstress who can sew for a living (yet).
Lately I've found myself wondering how often the idea of "wanting to do nothing" is more about the idea of not wanting everything thing they do having a capitalist value associated with it. Beyond the more common aspects of early grad school anxiety, this was something that I wrestled with in the fist couple years of grad school. I didn't want to not do the work, but I didn't want to feel like every minute had some kind of monetary value and was owned my someone outside of me. Now that I'm nearing the dissertation phase of my PhD I feel a little less overwhelmed which is think is largely because now there are significantly less demands on me outside of my projects.
I don't know if it's always accurate to just consider someone who wants to not have a job as lazy or someone who just someone who wants to sit on the couch. They might just want to do things without others ascribing a value on it that they ultimately benefit from as much or more than the person doing the work. For example, my department benefits as much, and often more than, I do from the work that I do while I'm employed by them by being able to continue to use any success I have as a means to negotiate for more funding, more prestige, or even as an advertising point to entice new students to enter the program. I still get the degree and the opportunity to continue to succeed, but I likely will not attain the same level of capital for myself that I have earned for my department while working under them.
I also think that depression can play a big role in framing this narrative. From my own experience, I've noticed that it can be easier to see the successes of others (and institutions) over the successes and prospects for ourselves. It's also easy to not see the struggles that it tool for others (and institutions) to gain that success.
Thiiiiis. Yes. Our livelihoods are tied to working 40+ hours a week and more and more that isn’t enough to live the way our parents and their parents did. More work for less payout in terms of how far our money goes and benefits go as well. My job probably wouldn’t seem so stressful if I knew I wouldn’t be destitute without it. I’m on a contracted job and I had to sign a FIVE year non-compete… for a job I’m contracted to do for 1.5 years. There’s so much nuance to this, too much for a one hour podcast. I understand cristine’s perspective but it’s definitely a little two dimensional.
Same. I work in engineering and half my salary goes towards rent and I don't have enough time at the end of the day/week to even have a second job. They take so much and ask so much of my position but I get little in return. Starting to look for a new job but I'm also finding myself wishing I didn't have to work at all and just live and be happy.
This is 100% it. And that's why I've taken time to do things I enjoy without making it into a chore or a job opportunity. But I can do that because I'm out of a job right now and have the time. When I was working full time all I did was sleep because I had no energy left for myself.
Zyler’s cameos was my cat’s favorite part of the podcast
The problem in the US is that you don’t have the broad ability to pursue what makes you happy because of health insurance. Finding a job that provides benefits is often going to outweigh a job that you enjoy and feel fulfilled by that doesn’t.
I’ve spent my whole life chasing health insurance because of a genetic kidney disease (now transplant). I absolutely cannot live without insurance.
I am lucky to have a job that pays well and offers really good benefits (ironically, working for a health insurance company) but my work is tediously mind-numbing and unfulfilling. I wake up every morning wishing I didn’t have to log in. I’m back in school to change direction (for the third time) but i won’t pretend that working full time and taking 17 credits at almost 40 years old, is anything other soul crushing. I can completely understand not wanting to face that existential dread and just check out.
@Pinnacle Weirdo that’s great for you. The unfortunate reality is that direct plans have worse benefits and higher out of pocket limits than group plans and people with chronic conditions generally can’t afford another $3000-$6000 each year on top of premium payments- especially when you’re already capping your out of pocket max.
@Pinnacle Weirdo there you have it guys, a comment so useful as a zero to the left. Good for you buddy, here you go, a candy 🍬
Completely agree with this! I also want to add that even if you do pursue something your passionate for, a lot of the time, it’s just not enough to provide you shelter, food, water, or other necessities on the table in general (not just healthcare).
I’m a figure skater. In fact, figure skating is my first love. But it’s difficult to make a living off of it full time. You either need to become a world class competitor, coach, or influencer to really have a chance on gaining Monetization from it. Even then, only a FEW actually get to that world class level and only a FEW actually become successful to make a living off of social media. I think what a lot of people forget is that being successful on social media is very luck based. Even people with 6k subscribers don’t make enough from their social media platform to survive.
As for becoming a coach, you have to hustle A LOT in order to make enough to actually live and even then, you still may need to pick up a second job.
It’s these reasons why I don’t bother to pursue a career in figure skating and just keep it as a hobby instead. I’d rather go for a career in the healthcare field since those jobs are more stable and as the commenter mentioned, provides excellent benefits that you can survive as well.
I feel this so deeply. I didn't graduate college until I was 27 (mostly due to severe psychological impairments, and guess what - no health insurance), and only then was I able to get a full-time job with "benefits" - except it was a temp job. So the insurance was a cheap, terrible, HORRIBLE, disgusting piece of sh** (Kaiser Permanente), and I had zero PTO. But it was all I could get in the field I wanted to work in (policy-related non-profit), and I needed it immediately.
I became EXTREMELY physically ill in 2020 and was barely able to work; but I couldn't quit because I needed the insurance. But the doctors at Kaiser were so f***ing incompetent. They kept blaming all my maladies on my weight and on allergies (which was only 20% correct), and even when I was on a double dose of Zyrtec, benadryl every 6 hours, and lost 20lbs, they dug their heels and stated that was the only issue and I needed to follow the regimen "correctly." They even did a biopsy which came out negative. I demanded bloodwork, and after the first GP refused to because "I didn't need it," the second one "humored" me, and I had elevated ANA, anemia, and a high white blood cell count. "Oh that's common with eczema and allergies." All the while I kept failing at my job, unable to properly work, completely dissociated, and almost got fired. At one point I got a formal warning against me. I was nauseous, dizzy, vomiting every few days, covered in rashes, scratched corneas. God I was so f***ing sick. But trapped.
I was finally able to jump ship a year later, found a job in a medical non-profit with great health insurance and accrued PTO. I went back to my childhood GP who was mortified by my experience and referred me to three different specialists. Within two months I had surgery, and they found a 10cm tumor in my neck. I had cancer. THE WHOLE F***ING TIME. Thank god I'm completely recovered and in remission now, but the whole thing was a nightmare.
I really feel for you, and I'm so glad you're getting to go back to school and redirect because even if it's so difficult to do, we f***ing deserve it. Good luck to you and your endeavors
I think the person who confessed they don't want a job wasn't saying they want to sit around doing nothing, but the pressure of "having a career" in order to be able to live is really overwhelming for young people. Unless you are privileged enough to come from an upper middle class family a lot of high school students have the very real pressure on them to see working as a means of survival, not as a means for personal fulfillment. Not to mention being highly plugged in to the internet they are probably getting a lot of exposure to peoples' horror stories of working bad jobs or having nightmare customers. The idea that a career can be about pursuing your personal goals and passions is largely overtaken by the need to make money. Even in new creative fields like TH-cam, a lot of people are being burned out by feeling the need to monetize all of their hobbies and ways they enjoy spending time.
On the last confession, the OP states that they are depressive and deal with suicidal ideation, while also stating that they reject work, but they then describe it as a 'retail job in the 9 to 5 schedule', that even perfectly optimistic and bubbly people also have issues with. Maybe that's all the prospects they have, which could be just whats available in their area, or an assumption on their part, its certainly more dificult to find employment that doesn't require years of experience and a degree for an entry level position in a non retail, public facing job.
Having a youtube channel can also be work, especially if they put in the same hours and effort that they would, in a 'regular job', though it is true that they don't have any financial or job security doing so, seems like they feel able to do it which is preferable to nothing, especially if it helps them get up and start their day, as they sound young on the financial aspects, doing youtube could give them the confidence to one day find work in a field they enjoy, or even found their own company.
On the ubi, even if some don't work they are still contributing to the economy by spending it, those with little money must spend it all to survive, its those with loads of wealth that they turn into bonds and gold, that cause stagnation, so even if some people become a couch potato, they still spend on food, rent, utilities.
I felt they were being a little harsh with that person. They didn't say "I wanna sit around a do nothing." They just don't want to deal with the pressures of job seeking and grinding work with karens all around. And yeah, maybe they can't afford college, so they can only get jobs where they're treated liked lower members of society.
@@beckyr7137 I feel like a lot of what they said was completely uncalled for
Zyler playing “got your nose” with Ben using his little holey-sock foot is the cutest thing I’ve seen this week 😍🥰
(Yes, when I see Zyler’s paw, I imagine he’s wearing white socks with a hole in the toe 😆)
Omg the sock hole description is almost as adorable as Zyler bapping Ben's nose
“ever since i became famous i’m struggling to not cheat on my wife” - me convinced that ned fulmer confided in a reddit thread
"I guess there's something for everything on reddit"
SO TRUE CRISTINE
Confession: When I was 10, my BFF stopped talking to me because of her newer, cooler friends. In retaliation, I logged onto her Club Penguin account (she was a fool to trust me with the password) and said the word "shit," giving her a three-day ban. I then was convinced that the school or FBI would come after me for this cyber crime, and didn't tell anyone for like four years.
Long time listener, first time commenter. First,I love you guys. I love your sense of humor and how down to earth you both are, but…
I just want to point out that lots of rich people don’t work, or don’t work a 9-5, and I don’t hear a lot of people complaining about them “not contributing”. I don’t know many people in the US that don’t feel a bit stuck in the hamster wheel of capitalism without the ability (time/money/health insurance) to explore their passions, or even just get some mental health help.
I personally hate rich people who don't work, fondly, whereas I just don't like it when people around me say they don't want to work, but I don't feel as strongly for them as I do for the people ACTUALLY doing it. I just don't think is fair that people feel entitled to only "chase their passions" while maintaining the same lifestyle as they do in the world as it functions right now. Like, why do you get to paint and draw all day but farmers don't? And if everyone just did that, read, paint, sew, we would probably have to go back to hunting or gathering or maybe even eating each other, because then there would be nobody to provide the things we've grown to be so used to, such as processed foods, electricity, internet, electronics, clothes, transport, etc.
@@saraergonot I agree with your point, but something you might find surprising - a lot of farmers in the US are super wealthy. This didn't used to be the case (grandparents on both sides of my family nearly starved while farming). But now you often need expensive equipment and a lot of land to make it profitable, so the farms that still exist are very successful ones. They do work hard - my dad met with a number of these people, one of their children nearly died from interacting with livestock, but it didn't stop him from continuing. But they're millionaires.
On the coffee confession: caffeine affects absorbtion of insulin, and as a diabetic, that's really bad. I'm also caffeine free because if kidney stones. Although I don't think one cup of caffeine would have a grand affect on a person, you never know what underlying conditions could be negatively affected. I'm glad the confessor did caffeine free, but please, don't mess with people's food. That can be very dangerous.
Not to mention illegal. You can't sell something to someone saying it's one thing and it being another.
@@kaceeharrison3715 yes, but they didn’t sell anything to anyone in that scenario
I’d get really ill if caffeine is taken out. Like severe migraines to the point where I can’t function.
@@kaceeharrison3715 you know this Starbucks frappichinos at the store in those glass bottles? Those literally have the same caffeine as a soda. I now only buy the dunkn doughnuts version because they actually label the caffeine content.
@@emmyjulianne6850 It can still be illegal. Presenting something as one thing when it's actually another is illegal.
Was the scenario this time harmless, it turned out to be. But what if that coworker went in there an changed the vanilla creamer with hazelnut creamer and didn't tell anyone and I'm there, who is allergic to hazelnuts, and now I have to go to the hospital because someone thought it would be funny to switch the containers...
That's the same exact thing. It's not okay.
In the US "food stamps" aka EBT/SNAP/WIC come as a debit card to be more discreet. It can be used at any grocery store, but if you purchase a non food item (such as a bag of dog food, toilet paper) you'll be charged for these items after the transaction posts. This way there is no walk of shame to put items back in the grocery store once you are at checkout.
And they've even recently updated it to look like a regular discrete card rather than the neon, ultra-identifiable card with EBT written across the front in enormous block lettering. Progress!
That’s crazy, in mexico we have some kind of thing that in theory looks to be the same as food stamps.
The thing is, the great majority of wage jobs and a fair amount of salaried jobs offer them as a benefit. Although you can only use them in supermarkets, convenience stores or gas stations, depending on the program they hook you up with, it is a thing that has really no social stigma to it. Some jobs offer them as coupons but nowadays they come as ordinary plastic cards.
I really can’t fathom giving a nasty look to people that have the opportunity to use stamps to live or even survive. It makes me sick people have go deal with survival and then the social stigma of trying to survive.
I'm 27 and I really relate to the person who doesn't want a "real job".
I found out from a manager of mine and I worked in market research that often times when you hear stories about not being allowed to wear brightly colored nails or long nails it's actually a discriminatory thing. that traditionally for a long time and brightly colored especially acrylic nails were often referred to as "ghetto stabbers", and they would often be banned alone with women of color wearing their hair naturally because it didn't look neat and tidy. as for Food Service employers are far less concerned about nail polish into itself then they are concerned about acrylic or press on or gel nails because those physically can break off and get in food where is Chip nail polish is pretty rare to end up in someone's food. additionally if you have long nails especially if it's a stiletto tip it's very easy to cut through latex gloves. so there are practical reasons to not wear acrylics in the Foodservice industry, or Healthcare I rarely ever do nurses nails for those exact reasons, but in an office environment.... no there is not any practical reason to prevent employees for having brightly colored nails their own or acrylic/gel/press on.
Yea that's not true. It's a health and safety issue.
@@kaceeharrison3715 But they said it's a health and safety issue?
@@blueberryslushee2277 it's a health and safety issue only. It was not based in racism or discrimination, that is the part that isn't true.
@@kaceeharrison3715 the op said in office jobs where there’s no health issue. Clearly when its a hazard it’s not ok and not based in racism.
@@kaceeharrison3715 Hmm idk if I really believe that. I don't know how it would pose a health/safety issue in an office environment. But I do know that in the past, long colorful nails have been associated with being "ghetto", "tacky", and "trashy", because it was fairly normal for black women to do there nails in such a way. So I don't believe it's that far fetched to think, that the ideology of long colorful nails being considered "unprofessional" is born from black women doing there nails in such a manner.
I feel the last confession a lot myself.
As someone who has a lot of mental health issues, the idea of being hyper productive in a capitalistic society is beyond exhausting. This is exacerbated by the fact that some of us, me included, are not in anyway motivated by financial gain or material assets. So we are actively fighting a lack of motivation on two fronts. While I'd argue probably no one LOVES the idea of working a 9-5 job for most of their entire life, I'd say most people do find being productive in that way to be fulfilling. Some of us just aren't built that way and it's just picking the short stick in life - and that's not even touching the social stigma of being this type of person that everyone just categorizes as lazy when it's really just the economic system sapping the life out of you.
If you really think about it, the phrase "Earn a living" is really fucked and ableist. Every human deserves a right to live. Every human deserves the right to food, water, and housing, regardless of whether they contribute to society in a material way. Even if that person never 'works', remember that they are a positive influence in someone else's life, and have inherent value.
The first person that comes to mind is that Tammy woman from 1000 lb sisters. I wonder whose life she enriches in a positive way.
Agreed, one reason why I like countries with a working social system. In Germany you can apply for minimum payment. It’s not a lot and there are a lot of limitations regarding what flat you can live in but in general you can live off of it.
@@justina-qu2yk There is not a single person in the world who doesn’t deserve basic rights.
This.
You said it perfectly! Living isn't just about working. We only covered the 'work' angle but I think this is a totally important conversation as well. - Cristine
So the issue with nail polish in the workplace is not only it chipping but also it tends to harbor more bacteria when it begins to chip or peel. It’s usually not allowed in elderly care also.
I wear acrylics and have always been told to take them off if I’m working with food do to bacteria unless I’m wearing double gloves lol
In healthcare, the only thing allowed is unchipped polish. No acrylics, no gels, and the length is an issue too. Basically, if you can look at the palm side of your hand and see your nails over your fingertips, then they are too long....
I'm a nurse in the UK. I have never worked anywhere where any nail polish at all was permissable. It was bare nails only. As you say the chipped polish can harbour bacteria but darker polish can also hide that there's dirt underneath nails.
I'm lowkey interested on like the alternative names of holo taco polish tho
does anyone know if her and Safia ever named their FrankenPolish?
Yesss I want to know the reject names
They keep most of them a secret in case they choose to use them for future colours/launches
I want to thank Zyler (at least I think it was Zyler) for yowling and meowing so loud in the background that it set my Toast off in a chorus of caterwauling. 😂
I noticed that too lol. Also, I love that you have a cat named Toast 😆
I think Zyler made a very important point at 27:27 ish, I agree tenfold 🐈
Zyler was the true star of this podcast
Zyler is very valid
Serious note: never, ever mess with someone else’s food without telling them. Even if it seems harmless, you don’t know if someone has an allergy, intolerance, or sensitivity - and this includes not only ingredients in food and drink, but where they are processed, stored, and prepared. Cross contamination on equipment with wheat and nuts is a big one. So please - it’s not funny or helpful, even if you’re trying to make people eat “healthier” - such as by switching to decaf secretly. (Also, what’s healthiest for one person isn’t healthiest for another. Dairy is good for some people, bad for those with intolerances and allergies. Nuts are a great source of protein, but are detrimental to those with allergies or those who are prone to kidney stones. Be understanding that different people NEED to follow different diets, and don’t try to “surprise! I made you eat *food*, wasn’t it great?” people for your own satisfaction.
On the last confession, as Ben kinda touched on I've personally dealt with a serious lack of drive for majority of my life. And in Cristine's pinned comment, it is largely in relation to my mental health. I've struggled with depression, anxiety, and now have recently been diagnosed with ADHD. All very heavy influences on why the general idea of working, is incredibly daunting for me. Let's not forget individual's general life experiences, and how that plays through well into their adult years, when it's expected of them to be totally independent, which I am NOT.
I find it embarrassing to even admit, I'm almost 30 years old and I still live at home with my mom and her partner. Growing up I struggled in school, I can't say if I had a learning disability or not, if it had anything to do with likely struggling with ADHD. I just had a serious lack of interest, but I also just constantly felt(and still often feel) stupid. And it's very apparent, especially in America, public schools tend to epically fail children who are more vulnerable and need more help. The same rings true for adults. I don't have any specific passion, and yes, often times I'm in the mindset of "I don't want to work, period." It's a mix of lack of drive and again, taking into account my personal struggles related to mental health. Which has only worsened in the past 3 years due to covid directly, and closely because of seeing a MASSIVE spike in crime rate in the states, especially in my area.
Initially I had been lucky enough to work with my mother, and it catered almost perfectly to my needs and limitations. My anxiety was kept to a minimal because I had the sense of security of mother being within reach at all times and knowing I had the freedom most jobs don't allow. If a client was unreasonable or raised their voice at me, there my mother was to put them back in their place; defend me. The general environment worked in my favor, while also providing me a comfortable safe space to learn some basic necessary work skills. For several personal reasons, her business was shut down, and suddenly I was forced to work some really terrible retail jobs that one after another threw me in some of my darkest depressive episodes. Forcing me into situations that left me constantly riddled with anxiety and overall general stress.
The last job I had before covid was the best I had, second only to working with my mother. My coworkers were amazing, my bosses were amazing, the pay was nice, and it was close to home. Unfortunately due to covid I had to quit working largely for safety reasons. That job wouldn't be able to provide me a more solid full time position, even pre-covid. There's a serious lack of opportunities for people like myself, and those with even stricter limitations. Not much wiggle room here to try new things, especially not in areas that would require education beyond high school level that for many like myself, is not feasibly possible. Not financially and potentially not realistic when again thinking of individual's struggle to learn in the conventional sense. Options feel extremely limited.
EDIT: This is pretty obvious but when taking things like depression into account, the most basic things can become incredibly challenging for a person. Getting out of bed at all for example. Everyone processes and functions differently and again, unfortunately largely such needs are not taken into consideration largely in the world.
I never understood why nail polish was treated as some sort of distraction in an office setting when everyone is probably in a cubicle where no one else can see you anyway. Imagine a conversation like “OMG Becky, look at her nail polish it’s so red and loud I can’t work it’s so disgusting” 🤣🤣🤣
Cris, the guy stealing resumes probably also stole a fake job listing to post. Just looked up jobs he wanted, stole the text of the job listing, post that same stuff on like craigslist or something and the responses will go to you.
lmao I didn’t even think about that 💀
Maybe it's because I'm from another country, but for me it's really easy to do a fake job listing post. Just post like "HIRING: graphic designer at X place" and create some numbers and infos
I can relate to the last poster's confession. I'm currently in my last semester of law school and I just feel completely burnt out. I'm constantly feeling anxious about schoolwork and can never truly relax. I'm starting to look for jobs and I feel this dread of knowing that I am likely going to be working 12+ hour days as an attorney. It feels exhausting. I wish I could take off six months after graduation to recharge, but I know I can't do that because of student loans.
why is no one talking about how you can hear zyler yowling in the background multiple times in this video? omg
one of the servers at my work quit my job bc they got mad at her for taking a week off for mental health during busy christmas time. personally i completely understood, especially since our work is stressful and busy all the time. i really hate that they treated her like that, even if it was busy, we literally have sick days for a reason and you shouldn’t have to answer to why you’re using the sick day, if you genuinely don’t feel well enough to come to work.
Spoiler alert: many people don't want to work. I'm one of them. I'm 33 and I still feel this way, but I still struggle through the 9-5 and make good enough money that I should be able to retire early. My goal is to do nothing and sit on my couch and it still motivates me to be able to do that in the long-run! $300 a month is not nearly enough to live off of. I make $5000 a month pre-tax and it's just enough to be comfortable, be healthy, and own property.
I'm the same way. I still want to and try to do well in my 9-5 job, but do I love it? Absolutely not lol. And I don't really know where I want to be either because nothing that requires you to work at a desk for so many hours every day sounds that interesting. I think we should normalize not having a dream job. Some people aren't goal driven like Cristine and that's fine. We just wanna be comfortable:) although I'd also like to be rich but again, don't want to work THAT hard to be haha
Same here. Having to work is absolutely crushing to my soul and I break down several times a year because of it. I have the best job possible for my personality, but it doesn’t matter. The majority of my life is spent creating profit for other people under threat of homelessness and death. It seems really gauche to scold people for recognizing that they live in a world that purports to value freedom and yet dictates exactly what you must do with your life at every turn if you want to stay alive. I will never be okay with that.
I feel that person who doesn't want to work, I find that those of us who want to find work as a creative it's almost impossible. There's no school to job in the creative industry like there is in every other industry, there's also barely any support or security (like almost every other industry).
Universal income would be so fucking helpful to allow me to focus instead of having anxiety attacks on what is the most promising way to grow so that I can earn an income. I think we should let those that don't want to work, not work. Because it's obvious that there's more to it than just 'not wanting to work' and thus we should support them in that decision and any other changes that might happen afterwards. There are already so many homeless or impoverished people that there would probably end up being MORE working than not working if we just gave everyone an income and supported everyone.
I seriously argue that you wouldn't have to put all this stupid shit in place to 'make sure people make good choices' if there was proper mental and medical support(literally everything in place current deters the people who need the support from accessing it ). Actually teaching cbt in school, raise the emotional maturity(cause currently the current adult is immature emotionally) and emphasize critical thinking.
Honestly I can't watch the whole "I never want a job ever" chapter, it's making me uncomfortable. The OP clearly mentioned struggling with mental health, and to me that's a huge factor. I myself am not in a position where I see myself ever having a regular job, and I'm not happy that I feel this way, but my mental illness is the main reason and it takes precedence over my wants.
I also don't think it's alright to judge someone's worth based on whether they can work a job or not. We shouldn't be tools to capitalism, but it's also an easily ableist argument. In this case, the OP appears to either have an unrealistic view of how much money you need to live or be okay with living an uncomfortable life of simple survival. Either way, the issue is much larger imo than "some people don't want to work".
Absolutely an important point and I hope OP is seeking help. Mental health wasn't something we really went into - personally I don't feel comfortable doing so as I am not a mental health expert. A whole conversation on its own. Every person has value outside of 'work' and our value should not be determined by our financial returns from work. Mental health is something we all need to consider and be compassionate. - Cristine
Also, I think they have a pessimistic view of what it means to "have a job". Nowadays, it's way easier to work for yourself, if you're lucky enough to have a talent that you can monetize. It's way harder than finding a 9-5 job, but it's more fulfilling. I always felt the same way as the OP, I think it's humiliating that we have to beg to work somewhere when in reality it's that place that need our skills. Luckily, I can sew and I like to create clothes, so I'm earning some money selling some stuff that I make, but if it wasn't for that I would also be struggling.
"When I worked at Loblaw's, I remember a lot of people shoplifted."
"Shoplifted what, a bag of milk?"
Name a more Canadian exchange, lol!!
For the husband who has a hard time resisting cheating... I wonder if he treats his wife like shit, and that's why she doesn't want to have sex with him. That's what happened to me with my ex. He constantly degraded, antagonized and belittled me, he was emotionally and borderline physically and sexually abusive to me. As a result, it was really hard for me to genuinely want to initiate sex or any affection with him. But all anyone else saw was the charmer. He used a similar line, that women on the street would hit on him, so he should be able to play the field. I was too meek to get away from him for a while, so I "survived" by shutting down.
or maybe their sex life is just not as exciting after 7 years.
@@jorgesoler7753 exactly
I think the ideology that people who don't aspire to work simply just don't want to do anything and just sit on the couch all day is kind of flawed. I'm only 23, and I do not want to work; I am severly disabled, but even if I weren't, it is extremely disappointing to me that I have to assign a monetary value to my passions in life, and whatever that value is will ultimately determine my quality of life in society. While I don't want to work, I still want to do plenty of things like create art or open a bakery or be a therapist; I just don't want my quality of life to have to be dependent on whether those things are worth money or deemed economically successful. People should be able to pursue their passions in life without being forced to monetize it. Not sure if any of that made sense, but just some of my thoughts.
I feel the same way! I am finishing high school soon and I am at crossroads of choosing a carreer that pays well or pursuing my passion that wouldnt bring in much money.
Exactly! I’m 32 and still feel this way. I struggle with depression and my previous job made me severely depressed till I was fired. I’m happy now until I realize I have to take another miserable job to be able to pay bills.
Exactly! I absolutely hated that portion of the video. It came off so condescending and I hated how they addressed this mindset. People only think they want to work because that's what they're forced to do. If they weren't conditioned to think this way since birth, the tune would be very different.
Absolutely! We only covered 'work' and didn't cover the value of hobbies that don't necessarily turn into profit. Also a very important thing for people to find and enjoy. - Cristine
I had to rewind and watch Zyler tap Ben's nose again because it was so cute 😂😂❤️
One of my favorite moments from these podcasts is when Ben calls us super-simps with that sparkle in his eye 😂
Zyler’s paw on Ben’s nose is just EVERYTHING
I relate to the person who doesn't want to work. I literally have 0 drive and have lost all my aspirations lmao
The way Cristine is DETERMINED to make ‘22 a thing
I agree with her. Time to drop the 20- already
@@riverAmazonNZ totally agree. We are almost a quarter of the way into the new millennium. Nobody thinks ‘22 would represent 1922, like they may for ‘96 to represent 1996
I missed out on one of the collections last year and I was so upset I went to e-bay to buy a scalped one and I realized how ridiculous(emotional) I was being so I stopped myself from paying 3x more than the collection was actually sold for. I ended up buying a few of the polishes from the collection I wanted from HT directly and I'm happy with them. I learned that if I missed a collection, I can still buy the individual polishes and my life is still perfectly fine.
The “temptation to cheat” confession is literally Jamie in The Last Five Years. That’s all I could think of 😂
Zyler the chonker tapping Ben's face was too cute! He's such a sweet floofy boy, just wants dad's attention 🤭🥰
Watched this when it originally came out but now I’m back listening again since people are alleging that the confession at 14:23 was from Ned from the try guys 😱
Was it really?
I'm sorry but not wanting to work a job is not the same as doing nothing or wanting to do NOTHING.
Preach! Really upsetting take on their part.
Absolutely! This is an important distinction. Thought we made that clear but could have been clearer. - Cristine
100% ACCURATE!
About the person who "didn't want to do anything," without knowing more, they sound like a young person (probably 18-22) who is currently doing well in school (based on how they said they're fine in school) but is so burnt out that the idea of School 2.0:The Working World (this time for 40 years instead of 20ish) just seems unbearable. I was valedictorian of my high school class and graduated within the top quarter of my engineering graduate program, and I felt the same thing. It took so much work to get to that point and I enjoy engineering but it was unsustainable workloads I was constantly being asked to complete. I was regularly staying up until 2-3am to finish homework every night after I got home from work just to have more always end up on my plate at my 8am the next morning. What got me through was the idea that one day I wouldn't have to do that much work anymore. Getting close to graduation and realizing actually how much more there was left to do beyond school made it feel like I was never going to be able to get to the part where I get to have some agency over how I spend my time since the last 20 were dictated by other people telling me what I "needed" to do. Wanting everything to stop and to do nothing sounded ideal. However when I got a moment to do nothing I realized it was the self agency and ability to feel in control for the first time in my life that I wanted. The desire to do nothing was my brain saying I've neglected myself so long that I'm verging into the territory of trying not to exist anymore. That person has a lot to offer, it feels to me that they have had the will and drive to contribute beaten out of them.
Honestly, I feel this so much. I graduated 5th in my class in high school, doing everything to look good for college, and now I'm in college, had to do an extra year because of transferring and changing life plans, and now I'm on year 4 of 5, with plans for med school after graduating, and it's exhausting. I work part time and have 17 credit hours every semester, and when I get home from work and class, I just want to lay on the couch and play games or watch TH-cam, not do homework. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that once I get the education and job that I want, my weekly workload will drop significantly, but I'll be making way more. It's just so hard to maintain just enough sanity to not burn out first
Hi Emily, as someone in their last uni semester studying engineering and working part time in the field too as part of a degree apprenticeship, I really needed to hear this. Thanks for taking the time to write it. Last push!
That person might be better suited to become his own boss in some way, as an inventor or consulting engineer, depending on their specialty and inventiveness. But being his own boss will still involve periods of hard grinding work to keep his business going.
“When I got a moment to do nothing I realized it was the self agency and ability to feel in control that I wanted” That hit the nail on the head for me, FANTASTIC way of identifying that feeling
I guess it's a "To-go" salad 😅😂😂😂
Who else is checking out the famous cheater one after the Try Guys Ned cheating allegations
THAT WAS MY FIRST THOUGHT TOO iirc he met her while he was in try guys though, even if it isn’t him i assume the thought process is similar
I love the part where Zyler just lays down in the middle of the table to be loved.
My aunt (a professional resume writer) created a resume for me after college that made me look employable. I did lie a few times. For example, she made herself a reference for me and pretended to have employed me in her office. It worked because she has a business and we have different last names.
Yeah I have to say I've encountered this "embelishment" of resumes a lot especially among students here in Europe who are applying for the first time. Lots of people re-phrase things to make it sound like they had very serious experiences or have simply worked in a "good position" in their family's company. On one hand it is dishonest and all, but I do wonder if this has become almost a necessity in today's job market. Simple entry-level jobs no longer feel entry-level with so many requirements for knowledge and experience, so people lie so they can even get in. I'm not excusing it, but it doesn't surprise me.
Having been professionally involved in résumé and candidate screening, I've observed that résumés are typically TERRIBLE. For lower-level positions, the résumés are often lazy and full of stupid mistakes. And for higher-level positions the résumés become increasingly vague and sometimes completely unrelated to the advertised position. It's confounding. Sneakily gathering the résumés of your competition is a fantastic idea IF you're smart enough to use that information wisely.
Having been a professional resume writer, this is far too accurate😩
As someone with depression and anxiety, I really relate to the person who said they didn't want to work ever. It's not that I don't want to work ever, it's that just holding a minimum wage job and scraping by is as much as my depression and anxiety can handle, and I STILL get burnt out really easily. I'm finally back in school trying to look for other career paths, but my mental illness has gotten so bad I've considered going to Disability Services on my campus and talking to them.
The person in their post said they're depressed. That can really change your motivations and how easily you get burnt out.
Lmaooooo "togo" = to go. As in a takeaway/take out pick up.
LOLLL I think the salad poster was meaning a take out order salad lmao
There is a rule at my place of business where it says if you're wearing nail polish or fake nails you must wear gloves while handling food. Problem is that it's not a well known rule and isn't always enforced.
“Togo” salad sent me. 😂😂😂
for everyone else here for 14:23 I found the original & it was posted in 2015…do what you will with that info !
I used to work at McDonald's with my friends where we would get a free medium meal with every shift. I have no issue stealing from them cause they are terrible employers. All but maybe 3 or 4 of my managers were awful. They didn't know how to run the place and were just mean to the employees. Our location was known for being the worst in the city. 2 of my friends used to steal food on their shifts all the time. When they went on their breaks they would walk past each other with their backpacks open and then throw random bags of food into them as they pass. I would've joined the thievery too but we worked different days.
Please I desperately need the clip of Zyler tapping Ben's nose as a Podcast Highlight video. I've watched that part back so many times, its just so hilarious. 😂😂😂
Cristine "It's not so easy to just leave..."
Zyler on Ben's face "BOOP" 😍😂😂
Zyler being so needy is so cute, he knows he can go to you guys for comfort is adorable to see
I already watched this last year but as I am rewatching parts oft it now, I thought of Ned Fulmer as they read the post about the cheater who has millions of views on TH-cam.
I just really really appreciate cristine's existence on youtube, her views and nuances on some topics just really motivates me and makes me feel happy.
14:23 wonder if thats Ned lmfaooo
I will say that there is privilege when viewing people who don't want to do anything. This aditittude usually if not always stems from mental health issues. And mental health issues is a valid reason to not work. Realistically these people would really benefit from the baseline salary so they can survive while getting the help they need. I see it as a long stem of mental health stigma because people feel cheated by this attitude, but motivation comes with mental health. All in all it is more productive to want to help these people than be upset by it.
There is also a level of classism. I am saying all this not to call out but as a chance to call I because I don't believe this prospective had been covered or presented
From what the poster commented and from experience, when someone is going on about not wanting to do anything and how they are depressed what they are debating between isn't work or no work it is surviving or having thoughts and feelings of not surviving. Doesn't mean they will stay in that state, I didn't, but I can relate because it is at a place that is past desperation and into numbness. The only feelings really felt is the feeling of shrinking. This is what I was getting at with checking privileges when it comes to mental health. Generally speaking I think Ben and Cristine do a good job on thinking about these kinds of things. But I think they missed it this time
Definitely. Mental health can play a big role here, and wasn't something we really went into. A whole conversation on its own. Every person has value outside of 'work' and mental health is something we all need to consider and be compassionate. - Cristine
Do you mean they should just receive a baseline salary for nothing? I think this is the worst thing you could do for someone. Realistically, a lot of peaople would opt not to work and be "depressed". I have a relative that was supported by their divorced mother until 28 yo, 2 college majors AND therapy, and they only went to work when the money flow stopped cause the poor woman couldn't do it anymore for no results. They were, like the OP, not wanting to do menial, repetitive 9 to 5 jobs and was waiting for some big break from heavens.
A lot of poor families in my country just plop out more children for the child support money, so they won't have to go to work... It's a thing, people want to cheat the system.
I think what should be done is offer some kind of free therapy sessions and options. They could start with some part time jobs and then talk with a professional about it.
But piggybacking on others for support will never give anyone the self reliance and self confdence needed.
The idealistic option would be to also change the systm. It's proved that less work hours make us more productive...
But idk, it's just my opinion tho, from what I have seen around me.
@@warwick3039 baseline salaries aren't providing more than various ei or disability. Rather it it makes these kinds of government help filtered through one thing. It ends up saving government money because their stuff is more organized and less manipulated (easier to catch a rare manipulation when it isn't several different organizations handling everything). And these kind of payments: ei, disability, etc. Are barely enough to make ends means and often don't act do that. On top of that someone can be getting disability payments and still be working but are not able to work more than they are.
Of course solutions take many moving parts and one thing can't fix every aspect. People need to be able to get help when needed but doing so is more like (not guaranteed as there is no guarantees in life truly) if they aren't being dragged down in other ways.
Accessibility around health care in all shapes in forms is a whole other layered issue. Unfortunately there will always be some people that struggle, but an increase chance of being supported can make a big difference towards a mass of people. No one size fits all
I wonder why Ben didn't mention that one poster's depression and s* thoughts, monetization issues, maybe? But I feel like if they were mentioned Cristine's response might have been different. It seems to me like more of a mental health issue rather then them just having a bad day
Probably cause there was no trigger warning and didn't want to upset anyone listening
@@NotCreativeForThis that would make sense if this was a livestream, but it's a prerecorded podcast. If they weren't going to fully adress it, might as well pick a different story. No hate towards the two, of course, just curious
I agree. It should have been included. I usually just listen to the podcast (it is meant to be a podcast after all) so I would have missed that part entirely if I didn’t happen to watch the episode this time.
The "I don't want to go work ever" left a sour taste in my mouth how you responded to it. I understand that if you can't relate or understand where this person is coming from, it makes it hard to see the whole picture but just saying it is "just a bad day" makes my blood boil.
I've got some thoughts on the whole "don't want to work ever" thing. I'm pretty much in that sitting on a couch and doing nothing situation in my life. You could say for somewhat good reasons, there are some health things keeping me from moving on with my studies. But the guilt of not doing anything is such a great stressor. Constantly being on your toes on the edge of not being healthy enough but not doing quite bad enough either and having to prove yourself for the state to see worth in helping you is draining. I know I have all the means of proceeding with the assignments required to graduate, and it makes you feel like you're just not doing it for no reason at all. What I think is great about the concept of UBI is that that stress is removed. I find it so repulsive that we as a culture think we need to force people into the working life in conditions less than optimal for actually fulfilling life. I believe the tiny percentage of people abusing the system for no reason at all is insignificant compared to the effort that at least my local government puts into forcing people to work. Where I live you can technically game your way out of responsibilities without risking basic needs, but there is a massive amount of bureaucracy working on the thousands of different types of support and it takes so damn much effort away from literally everything else in need of fixing. Work and routine are important and I think with the stress of surviving and figuring your way through proving you rEaLlY need the existing help in our current system is such a waste of time. I realize I'm in extremely lucky situation and a lot of people can't even dream about the help I've received. But I know I'm not the only one who would find joy in the things you're actually interested in if you didn't need to fill a certain model of successful career path. You'd know you won't fall into a catastrophe if you had a sudden incident in your personal life. I don't think a world where we expect extreme sacrifices and suffering is good enough. Do we actually not trust people to still care to better themselves and earn and use their talent and time just because they have the option not to?
I found you years ago, and you helped get me through the end stages of my pregnancy (when was up at 2am with contractions) and some dark shit in life. And life moves on and I forgot about you. Love seeing y'all here and how well y'all are doing!
Back in my barista days one of my coworkers came in with a full set of fresh acrylics, very long, painted bright orange. We had a strict no nail polish/long nails rule for health and safety reasons. This coworker knew this, she was just a trouble maker, so when our boss told her to get rid of the nails by the start of her next shift she responded by going in the back and CHOMPING ALL OF THEM OFF. WITH HER TEETH. It haunts me to this day.
For the resume confession, the first thought that popped into my head is that he “stole” the job listing (like, the information they posted), and reposted it as something legitimate, then waited for people to send in their resumes lol
The caffeine - - > decaf switcheroo is common-ish in healthcare, mostly on mental health wards or long term care.
It's great tbh
Yeah we've done it where i work but they are always TOLD it's decaf. We don't trick them. It's against the law.
Why is it common in healthcare?
Cristine; in case you are reading this, you really had changed my perspective/ thinking of certain situations/ views and I learned SO many things from your guys podcast. I am an adolescent and hearing all of your podcast and the advices that you had given to us had helped me feel more prepared and confident once I am out of high school, instead of being fearful of the unknown. I am so glad that I had found you from the nail polish mountain video, I had never had thought that the lady who did the nail polish mountain video would had been someone impactful in my life. Thank you so much!
Wait no cause the confession in the thumbnail could’ve been Ned!!!😭
Lol by “Togo” the person meant To go meaning she packaged the salad for a customer to pick up and eat at home. That’s probably how the nail got in there. I feel like the story after that the guy should just talk to his wife about it; she might be upset but him keeping this as a secret will be worse in the end. Also he should be more transparent on his platforms about his wife so fans don’t just think he’s available
I work at a homeless shelter. It's so hard to fight for social assistance when people who straight up take advantage of it do exist. There's a guy here right now who has SIX FIGURES in his bank account (No, we cannot refuse him services because of his $). This man is in his mid 50s and thinks that because he's worked 'his whole life' that now the government will take care of him. He wants public housing and they'll laugh him out the door. He thinks we should be taking care of this for him, he's done enough, time to kick back and relax.
And then theres the guy in his 70s who got laid off and couldnt afford his rent. Stayed at the shelter while looking for an apartment and a job.
Theres the guy that was in jail for 10 years and now he's out and can't get a job that will pay enough to live on his own. Wants to go to school, can't afford it. Wants a job, has no car to get to job. Stuck.
UBI would save these people (except for the $$$ guy only he can save himself). Whether its a months rent, a security deposit, a car payment, or food to eat, UBI can bridge the gap between employment and unemployment. It can be startup money for someone moving out on their own.
There are people who will abuse the system. There always has been and always will be. They are so very few to the multitude that would benefit.
The thing is, in my opinion, people who would abuse better systems are already abusing the systems we have. We’re never going to be able to eliminate that behavior, but we can make our world a better place to live for people who need it.
i legit started tearing up at what you said at the end of the lass confession. i really needed to hear that. thank you simply
For the one about the person not wanting to work, I feel like their feelings are completely valid. I think 'not wanting to work at all and sit on the couch all day' is an acceptable opinion to have. I hate how people associate a person's worth or value with how much work they do or how much money they produce, it's stupid and it essentially boils people down to labour. Even if a person never gets a job their entire life I would still consider them a valuable person, because nobody asked to be born so nobody should be obligated to contribute to a society that doesn't really give a shit about them.
Like isn't it enough for humans just to be born and live? Why do we have to conflate a person's character or personality with their ability to contribute to a failing capitalist society?
I so agree with you! I wish our society understood this.
Thank you Cristine for being the perspective of the big sister I never had, I always love hearing what you have to say because it always opens my eyes one way or another, the way your always giving the benefit of the doubt and just overall being so down to earth as a human being, I wish more people could be like you, The world would be a much better place.
Since many companies use an AI to sort through resumes these days, I think the fake job poster is just playing the system and I respect that
"We all wear different shoes" is now my favourite thing ever and I will use it all the time
It's the "I'm struggling not to cheat" guy for me. I literally could not stop laughing.
I love Simply and Ben and always enjoy their takes on various topics, so thank you guys for being a nice escape every Tuesday :). In this episode however I found myself disagreeing on very key points as a mental health specialist - I will start with the confession about not wanting to work - your take was that OP is lazy and that it is on him to not be like this. Actually the lack of motivation is not a personality trait, but a symptom of mental illness (he even mentioned he was depressed) and of systemic issues - as he mentioned - entering the workforce is a nightmare. Some people are more susceptible to this kind of stress, but it is not because they are "lazy", but because their depression or anxiety prevents them from braising themselves for the struggle that is finding a job and accepting that very very few people care about you as a person. My second point is about the man, who is not cheating on his wife. I believe we should judge people by their actions, not thoughts and desires. He is having feelings that he is obviously not proud of and he doesn't act on them. Shaming him (and therefore every one listening who has things about themselves they are not proud of) only discourages the process of acknowledging the feelings, understanding them and finding ways to modify them. If we do not confess those kind of impulses and try to just ignore them so that we do not look bad, Infront of others or ourselves, we won't be able to see where it comes from and are much more likely to eventually act on them.
I think the person who didn’t want to work might simply be overwhelmed by the pressure they are feeling already. Many (undiagnosed) neuro-diverse people feel this way, because they are struggling, but think everyone struggles just the same, but are somehow better at dealing with it. Before my autism diagnosis, I was burned out pretty bad, and didn’t want to do anything. Then I went on sick leave, and realised that I /do/ want to work, but I can’t work the same way neuro-typical people do
This spoke to me. I am 90% sure I have adhd as I exhibit a alllll the traits, but can't afford a diagnosis just yet. I'm already burnt out, and honestly don't wanna exist to work.
Yes! I have ADHD and went from school and working for 7 years, then 2 year master's, and now working a "fulfilling" job. But I've also been burnt out since I was in grade 6. Got diagnosed with ADHD at 26 and meds helped, but finding balance is something that takes a lot of work each day. If I could take a few years odd and recoup I would. Instead I'm trying my best to not let my burnout impact my clients. (I work in mental health, the admin stuff is the struggle, the clients are great.)
Help is the famous cheating one ned fulmer LMFAO
that was my EXACT thought😂😂😂