This was so validating, sometimes its hard to explain to my partner and friends just how emotionally and cognitively draining my job can be. Sometimes after work I just need an hour or so of quiet time to clear my head.
So much truth here, thanks for this. The biggest one that frustrates me is when it's implied we cannot be sad/anxious/angry/etc. Apparently we're supposed to be "perfect", because we're therapists. My last boss actually said "Geez, you're a therapist" when I expressed anger (in an appropriate way) for not addressing a serious incident involving a client and a case manager that I had asked him for 9 months to properly address (it was that serious). He literally said I shouldn't be angry, because.....I'm a therapist. My response was, "what does it say about you as an executive director that you're not angry about such a serious situation?". Soon after I left that toxic place and am starting my own practice so I no longer have to deal with unhealthy environments. Hang in there fellow therapists!
I’m lucky in that most people seem to realise that my job as a therapist is really hard! I often get ‘I couldn’t do your job’ or ‘I don’t know how you can sit and listen to everyone’s problems all day, it must be so depressing’. The only person who thinks my job is easy is my husband 😂 I guess that for me it isn’t ’a job’. I love what I do. Yes I’m exhausted and fighting a constant battle against burnout and compassion fatigue, and I make a fraction of what I did when I had a normal job, but then I come home and read books about PTSD and narcissism for fun 😊
My mom just told me the other day....shouldn't you be seeing a therapist with all the mental burden you're carrying for your clients? (I do have a therapist but just have not seen her recently). I feel lucky too that most people in my life consider my job as a hard job.
I love your description of what a therapist does in a session. It is so accurate. Aside from all the stuff we do outside of sessions (training, research, admin, emails, meetings etc. etc.), "in the session work" is both exhilarating and exhausting. It is exhausting because it is exhilarating probably - the amount of mental focus and brain power required to maintain that level of therapy for several hours a day....but that's why we do it. :)
This makes me feel better as someone who's considering a career change to therapy / coaching. I DON'T have to know it all?! Phew! I will say the statements about burnout being common and pay (or net profit) not being great were a little disheartening, but I still want to enter this profession. It's like people who were made to be police officers. The average person is like ""No way," but the men and women who have it in their hearts to do it don't care about the risks or downside as much as they love the fulfillment and sense of purpose. Officers take way more physical risks obviously, it's just an example of a job most people don't find appealing. 🙂 The way I see it, helping people work through mental and emotional challenges is so rewarding. And we get burned out and underpaid in lots of jobs, so why not find one that gives you purpose? I think God is showing me how to prepare for my next phase. This should be interesting!
Hi. I want you to hear, right from the start of this possible career journey: You deserve to be paid a salary that is appropriate for your education and expertise, and you deserve to be safe at work and have appropriate support to do your work safely - and none of that should be denied to you just because you're a caring, helpful person. Many people will try to tell you that helping people should be its own reward and you don't deserve basic protections like fair compensation, manageable workloads, and appropriate supervision. They are wrong and just trying to exploit you. Just something to keep in mind.
Therapist here. I am blessed to be the opposite of you Marie. I could easily see 8-10 clients every day if I had no admin tasks. Maybe that makes me a bit sociopathic but I think when I am done with this consulting gig I am going to hire a practice manager.
My therapist literally doesn't do anything else but listens. I raised concerns about this, but she said "all therapists have been trained in the past 15 yrs to do client-led work". She doesn't ask introspective questions. In fact, besides "how are you?" when we first meet, she doesn't ask anything. She occasionally says something like "that makes sense" but nothing else. I'm a super introspective person and this doesn't work. I also did group therapy with her but she was the same, she essentially just called people's name "next is Kelly" and let us talk w/out any moderation of the group. I'm not sure if this is easy to her. Maybe it's hard. but I don't feel that she is doing her job at all.
@@lptherapygroup6591 The connection is why I haven't left yet. I like her. But I have to admit, I don't think she is doing any therapy because is is just nodding. The only time she says anything is when we small talk about cats. But for the therapy part, she is just listening, occasionally saying "that makes sense", then "let's schedule the next appointment". As a very introspective person just chatting about my issues is not helpful, especially because I'm not even receiving challenging questions or digging deeper or just a "makes sense" or a nod and quiet. So I'm searching for someone else... but it will be hard to leave despite her not leaving because the connection is there.
@@LauraPalmerD Dump her. You're not paying her to nod. That's bs. Therapists should be directive and give feedback . Otherwise it's pointless. Recognize your value and that includes being deserving of good therapy. If I want to vent, I have girlfriends for that. The goal is to change the narrative.
I hope you can find a therapist you like AND who gives you the feedback and guidance you seek. You deserve both. Maybe that person can be your current therapist if you tell her what you are looking for from her. If that is not her communication style and she can't provide the therapeutic support you want, I hope you can find someone else who can, who you also like.
That I’m a charity and I SHOULD be offering my education, training, and experience for $30/hr or less bc I obviously didn’t go into this profession for the money. I do really well as a therapist due to my niche and the state I live in. I make more money per hour than my husband who is a NP if we ignore employer insurance. I can afford my own health insurance. I do offer pro bono work and take most insurance as a way to be more accessible, but I do have bills to pay!
someone asked me yesterday what is the difference between a therapist and a life coach? The difference is a life coach is a therapist who can't pass the counselor licensing exam...
This was so validating, sometimes its hard to explain to my partner and friends just how emotionally and cognitively draining my job can be. Sometimes after work I just need an hour or so of quiet time to clear my head.
People always tell me "wow your job must be so depressing"
So much truth here, thanks for this. The biggest one that frustrates me is when it's implied we cannot be sad/anxious/angry/etc. Apparently we're supposed to be "perfect", because we're therapists. My last boss actually said "Geez, you're a therapist" when I expressed anger (in an appropriate way) for not addressing a serious incident involving a client and a case manager that I had asked him for 9 months to properly address (it was that serious). He literally said I shouldn't be angry, because.....I'm a therapist. My response was, "what does it say about you as an executive director that you're not angry about such a serious situation?". Soon after I left that toxic place and am starting my own practice so I no longer have to deal with unhealthy environments. Hang in there fellow therapists!
I’m lucky in that most people seem to realise that my job as a therapist is really hard! I often get ‘I couldn’t do your job’ or ‘I don’t know how you can sit and listen to everyone’s problems all day, it must be so depressing’. The only person who thinks my job is easy is my husband 😂
I guess that for me it isn’t ’a job’. I love what I do. Yes I’m exhausted and fighting a constant battle against burnout and compassion fatigue, and I make a fraction of what I did when I had a normal job, but then I come home and read books about PTSD and narcissism for fun 😊
My mom just told me the other day....shouldn't you be seeing a therapist with all the mental burden you're carrying for your clients? (I do have a therapist but just have not seen her recently). I feel lucky too that most people in my life consider my job as a hard job.
Another good one Marie - thank you!!
I love your description of what a therapist does in a session. It is so accurate. Aside from all the stuff we do outside of sessions (training, research, admin, emails, meetings etc. etc.), "in the session work" is both exhilarating and exhausting. It is exhausting because it is exhilarating probably - the amount of mental focus and brain power required to maintain that level of therapy for several hours a day....but that's why we do it. :)
This makes me feel better as someone who's considering a career change to therapy / coaching. I DON'T have to know it all?! Phew!
I will say the statements about burnout being common and pay (or net profit) not being great were a little disheartening, but I still want to enter this profession. It's like people who were made to be police officers. The average person is like ""No way," but the men and women who have it in their hearts to do it don't care about the risks or downside as much as they love the fulfillment and sense of purpose. Officers take way more physical risks obviously, it's just an example of a job most people don't find appealing. 🙂
The way I see it, helping people work through mental and emotional challenges is so rewarding. And we get burned out and underpaid in lots of jobs, so why not find one that gives you purpose? I think God is showing me how to prepare for my next phase. This should be interesting!
Hi. I want you to hear, right from the start of this possible career journey: You deserve to be paid a salary that is appropriate for your education and expertise, and you deserve to be safe at work and have appropriate support to do your work safely - and none of that should be denied to you just because you're a caring, helpful person. Many people will try to tell you that helping people should be its own reward and you don't deserve basic protections like fair compensation, manageable workloads, and appropriate supervision. They are wrong and just trying to exploit you. Just something to keep in mind.
Yes, and no one is worth your health and mental well being. We model mental health by taking care of ourselves
Therapist here. I am blessed to be the opposite of you Marie. I could easily see 8-10 clients every day if I had no admin tasks. Maybe that makes me a bit sociopathic but I think when I am done with this consulting gig I am going to hire a practice manager.
My therapist literally doesn't do anything else but listens. I raised concerns about this, but she said "all therapists have been trained in the past 15 yrs to do client-led work". She doesn't ask introspective questions. In fact, besides "how are you?" when we first meet, she doesn't ask anything. She occasionally says something like "that makes sense" but nothing else. I'm a super introspective person and this doesn't work. I also did group therapy with her but she was the same, she essentially just called people's name "next is Kelly" and let us talk w/out any moderation of the group. I'm not sure if this is easy to her. Maybe it's hard. but I don't feel that she is doing her job at all.
One of the most important things about therapy is your connection with your therapist. Seek someone else.
@@lptherapygroup6591 The connection is why I haven't left yet. I like her. But I have to admit, I don't think she is doing any therapy because is is just nodding. The only time she says anything is when we small talk about cats. But for the therapy part, she is just listening, occasionally saying "that makes sense", then "let's schedule the next appointment". As a very introspective person just chatting about my issues is not helpful, especially because I'm not even receiving challenging questions or digging deeper or just a "makes sense" or a nod and quiet. So I'm searching for someone else... but it will be hard to leave despite her not leaving because the connection is there.
@@LauraPalmerD Then perhaps tell her what you need from her. The ball is in your court.
@@LauraPalmerD Dump her. You're not paying her to nod. That's bs. Therapists should be directive and give feedback . Otherwise it's pointless. Recognize your value and that includes being deserving of good therapy. If I want to vent, I have girlfriends for that. The goal is to change the narrative.
I hope you can find a therapist you like AND who gives you the feedback and guidance you seek. You deserve both. Maybe that person can be your current therapist if you tell her what you are looking for from her. If that is not her communication style and she can't provide the therapeutic support you want, I hope you can find someone else who can, who you also like.
That I’m a charity and I SHOULD be offering my education, training, and experience for $30/hr or less bc I obviously didn’t go into this profession for the money.
I do really well as a therapist due to my niche and the state I live in. I make more money per hour than my husband who is a NP if we ignore employer insurance. I can afford my own health insurance.
I do offer pro bono work and take most insurance as a way to be more accessible, but I do have bills to pay!
I definitely feel the opposite of rich as an associate
someone asked me yesterday what is the difference between a therapist and a life coach? The difference is a life coach is a therapist who can't pass the counselor licensing exam...
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!! I think this is funny. HA HA HA! I am a therapist AND Life Coach. I understand this joke! (I passed both tho)
So rich…so rich that I can totally afford to pay for all my CEU’s and supervision fees…deeeeeefinitely.