Whenever my girl walks in on me listening to this, she immediately leaves the room. Jokes on her though, for she cannot conceive of my special plan, while I know every crooked creaking step of hers
Fun fact: the writer of this poem was not anyone in the band, but apparently an underrated cosmological horror writer named Thomas Ligotti. Age 70 now. He's suffered from a medical condition that makes him physically unable to experience pleasure.
This is actually the plot of the short story that the babbling man in the background is from. It's called The Bungalow House, and the babbling man is called Bungalow Bill
I spilled baked beans all over myself watching some little show past the edge of town & a black teenager shouted "this n**** eating beans" and everyone laughed
HelyerArt I’ve always had trouble looking people in the eyes. This effect doesn’t carry over to art though, I can stare into the eyes of a person in a painting all I want. That being said, I can’t look into this album art’s eyes.
@@jhersongutierrez305 wouldn't that be nice? If there was somebody, somewhere who had a plan? Any plan? If all this was happening for a reason? Any reason at all?
This is seriously the coolest thing C93 ever recorded. I have this on vinyl and if you play the b side, the whole thing is an extended recording of the guy you hear in the beginning babbling into a tape recorder.
"The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far."
My old man was 102 years old at death. My step dad.I learned about electricity from him. Objectivity and subjectivity.I helped him to the toilet.He hemorrhages. I wash him.Put him to bed.He coughs up blood.I wipe his chin.He says " don't leave me". I lay next to him caressing his abdomen. "Rest old man". I remain at his side 'til he falls asleep. It's after 9 pm.Dec23,2020.His body died before sunrise 12/24/20.A beautiful death DAVID TIBET must be honored to know of.
@@fuckinnefor7639 To my knowledge Mr Ligotti has never been schizophrenic, but if you read his other works or even just an interview it might give you a better insight into what's his thought process here.
@Jack Redelfs SOMA has a very good existential horror and I think it's a great example for game industry of how to write a good story for a horror game. I recommend you check it out, it doesn't use cheap jump scares to build dread
As Lacan puts out, because schizophrenics lack the psychological structure Lacan named as Name-of-the-Father(the structure which is necessary to accept laws of society), any kind of desire they have only make them suffer, the reason is they can't really build a pathways in society and find a way to make use of their desires. They only feel oppression, fear, castration.
This just lifts the spirits. It's like a British downward spiral on recorded a loaned tape recorder. After listening to this I am now full of hope and yearn for fish and chips.
@@leetorry The song uses Ligotti's nihilistic, deterministic outlook of life to expound on Tibet's use of the gnostic-like idea that the creator of the material world might be an evil deity of sorts, or at least a misguided, flawed one. The difference is that Ligotti as a materialist sees no hope whatsoever, but Tibet as a Christian sees Christ as the light to transcend this world.
Have you ever had a special plan that you, um, you had, your, you- you could, you’ll do, you- you wants, you, you could do so, you- you’ll do, you could- you, you want, you want him to do you so much you could do anything?
Timeless? I'd say this sounds like it's from the late 60s. It sounds like somebody listened to King Crimson and was like "lmao this shit's too mainstream. I'm going to make this underground."
He whispered That my plan was misconceived That my special plan for this world was a terrible mistake "Because," he said, "there is nothing to do and there is no where to go!" "There is nothing to be and there is no one to know!" "Your plan is a mistake," he repeated "This world is a mistake," I replied That part made me shiver hard
I cannot stop listening to this. It is utterly addictive and hypnotic. At times dark but has a childish "Syd Barrett" esque feel to the phrasing and language choices of the prose poem.
i so love how this is its completely beyond all the illusions of "safety" and "happiness" and all human made systems of indoctrination, religious or any other, once you understand it, it will never "disturb" you, it will calm you, because you will realize you are one of the very few that sees through all of it.
The numbness, the overstimulation, this has become a comfort of sorts. I love this project. Its a favorite of mine. Uncomfortable in nature, calming in retrospect. It urges an emotion all stimulators ive interacted with hasnt ticked yet; I believe that to be where the comfort comes from.
So... I have a distinct yet vague memory of some close friend sharing this with me and rambling on and on about it's great and terrifying meanings.... But I only have one close friend... only one person who could have possibly shown this to me... and they were horrified by this and seriously swear to have no idea what I'm talking about. I hope they read this comment and are messing with me.
This is Enchanting and healing. I am 73 Years old, Thomas Ligotti born 1954 so He Lived what I Lived! This makes it Personal, eerie ? No a Dreary Eyes shall wonder
I am actually 74 Years Old, I am Senile, and have forget that so I use Online Calculators > Time Calculators How old am I if I was born in 1949? - If you were born in 1949, you are 74 years old. Hillary Clinton 123 is 74 Years Old. This is Enchanting and healing. Gotta have Electricity, dude! Electric Music "Requires" AC/DC ya know? An abandoned, broken house with no electricity, Like Bummer, Desuetude and Dudes, Electricity IS GOD. trust me, I am a RADIO TECH & A HAM OPERATOR my Daddy was Nickles Los Tesla, Inventor of WEIRD SHIT for Internal Cummsumption...Like....Yo' Dude! CONSUME -4 IT is the AMERICIUM WHEY "KILL, EAT, REGURGITATE" The U.S.A. Manifest Destiny , Manford-Mann. Replied to a comment on Current 93 - Nature Unveiled (1984)
"But I wanted to witness what could never be I wanted to see what could never be seen The moment of consumate disaster When puppets turn to face the puppetmaster" This segment always gives me chills.
I think this is the story of a man so fed up with reality, he wants to end everything, not just himself. Not that he kill’s himself, or that he never existed, but that existence itself would never have been a thing. When he talks about taking away hunger, and teeth, and flesh, and all that, it alludes that he wants to go deeper than simply ending a single thing; he wants to end everything. The part with the mindless mirrors, I think references the fact that everybody is a reflection of the universe, or in other words, the universe experiencing itself. What made the lunatic who said that go insane was the idea that, if some people wanted the world to end, then that meant the universe itself wanted to end, in a manner of speaking. We are the universe dreaming of its own annihilation. The puppetmaster section could be an allusion to the above idea, but applies in the form of Creation reflecting God’s wishes, rather than the universe becoming aware of itself. If Creation becomes aware that it’s a part of God, and parts of Creation (nihilistic people) want to put an end to everything, it implies that God could be suicidal. By these means, could the special plan dude enact the destruction of everything. The part where he talks about words describing different forms of this primordial “essence”, I think is his attempt to describe the fabric of reality in its rawest form. Him moving forwards with his plan was the realization that if he could stop anything from starting at all, he could put an end to everything. Either that, or by somehow destroying the fabric of reality itself, he could end everything from matter, space, time, and even concepts. Finally, the different worlds existing in an infinite void, I think is about human perception. How the things we think about exist to some extent. How our worst nightmares have some possibility of coming to fruition. Those are my two cents lol
"We are the universe dreaming of its own annihilation"...Wow! Brilliant take on this prose(?). Love your take on the whole thing. I've listened to this probably 30 times and I had kind of gotten to the point that the narrator just feels this life, this existence is unnecessary ; and futile in the fact of even trying to justify why we are here, what kind of creator would or could even imagine starting this whole thing . Nihilism at its core. I don't know if I'm on to something with this train of thought but just wanted to say "thanks" for your perspective! It made me think and that is the point.
@@SpiderStratagemVINo problem! I think with anything that’s vague, you can build your own interpretation with it. But yeah it’s fun to think of a story in a new light. I definitely need more practice with doing that though lol
The moments between the reading, where the voice sounds like it's trying to speak, I feel it in my throat. Like I'm trying to talk but I'm having a stroke. I love it and I hate it.
I think the “worlds” in this poem are the different individual perceptions and life experiences of everyone. So when he talks about a special plan for this world, I believe he’s referring to life aspirations. It seems that his own aspiration throughout this poem is the taking of his own life. He mentions taking away flesh, teeth, tongue and hunger “take away everything as it is, that was my special plan.” When the voice tells him that his plan is misconceived, that there is no people or anywhere to go, it makes me think that someone in his life is trying to talk him out of suicide, saying it’s a mistake. He replies saying his life is a mistake. The section where he mentions the lunatic, that swore itself within mirrors, it seems like he’s having a dialogue with himself, but not perceiving that the man in the mirror is himself, perhaps suggesting some kind of dissociative mental disorder. There also seems to be some kinda themes of murder. This may be a stretch but, the puppets and the children seem related to me, the funny man makes them laugh but throughout there is also a strong connection drawn between laughing and screaming. Maybe he has trouble telling the difference. Saying “their eyes grew wide beneath their lids, and how he made them roll” sounds very murder-y to me. And the setting of the shed outside of town just seems very unsettling. That being said, it being about mental illness and murder/suicide may be kind of a generic take on it, or trying to apply a narrative to an abstract nihilistic rant, but I just found this stuff interesting! The way he switches between talking about “this world” and other worlds seems very curious to me and the various mentions of special plans that seem to refer to different worlds at times seems to reflect a sense of individualism to them. He talks about a damaged body and mind and how they stand alone in a world surrounded by darkness, suggesting that the crooked world he keeps talking about is his own damaged perception, shrouded in a darkness where he sees no people, no hope, no escape. Just a lunatic in the mirror telling him what to do. His special plan is to end worlds (lives), just to satiate that existential curiosity. To appease that voice that tells him that everyone needs a special plan. Not only does he want relief, an escape from this world, he wants to uncover a “greater darkness” a greater darkness than life or death, or the wind that blows the dust of your bones. A darkness which is beyond description. Ok, I’ve thought about this quite enough...
I found the ways words and phrases could insinuate multiple meanings or perspectives interesting too--the merging of screams and laughter stuck out to me in particular. The interpretations about murder and mental illness definitely make sense to me. As it went along it felt like I entered his perspective and it didn't feel like he was mentally ill anymore, but that his feelings accurately matched the situation. It started feeling, on one hand, like a man's deep lament at a universe that bred conscious beings who can't do anything but act out its cold will and act like it's their own. That the only way things could be set 'right' is if every last person, plant, piece of matter, dispersed. It gave me this vibe like, to him, the universe was a sidestep in some path that can get back on course only once it's completely evaporated altogether. Which made me think back to him talking about how he'd sometimes just hear someone talking in his head, or in a dream, or feel like he was a part in someone else's dream. The person who tells him his plan won't work. Sounds like he might be behind what sparked the misstep of all the different worlds in the universe in the first place. Or maybe this is the actual being dreaming up all of the universe that the main guy lives in. And the guy is slowly realized that every thought, wish, hope he could ever have, is just ideas of the real dreamer being played out through him. I guess it could be a mentally ill man and a normal man in a fucked up world at the same time. Who knows?
Think bigger. It's not about ending lives. That would just be the man talking about taking away the taste and the hunger and the flesh. There's elements of daoism at play.
i also took the "worlds" to be the universe of perception constructed by the sentient mind. there are countless of them because every person has one, and they are separated by infinite impermeable blackness because no matter what you do, you will never inhabit someone else's mind. but then you are only subjected to this state of being because your own consciousness imposes it on you. that's what i think this stanza is talking about in particular: There are no means for escaping this world It penetrates even into your sleep And is his substance You are caught in your own dreaming Where there is no space And are held forever where there is no time You can do nothing you aren't told to do There is no hope for escape from this dream That was never yours The very words you speak are only it's very words And you talk like a traitor Under its incessant torture
You're more or less entirely wrong, nothing about mental illness at all but one person's special plan for the world. The weird things he describes aren't mere symbols or representation, he lives in a darker reality than ours. It's not an "abstract nihilist rant", it's a poem by a horror author who also made a short story with the same name. (One with an unambigous supernatural element or two at that.)
@@Trazen4 I haven’t thought about this for a fuckin minute but somehow you’ve compelled me to reply XD yeah I didn’t claim to be “right” or whatever so it feels like your comment is kinda rude but either way your description makes sense. I don’t have the context of having read the short story and was just generally having trouble understanding the meaning behind the poem which is why I made the comment in the first place. I like the description that he lives in a darker reality, it definitely explains some of the things that don’t seem to have real world symbolism or explanations and looking back it was kinda strange for me to try and make all those connections but I guess that’s just how my brain works. That being said I would definitely describe mental illness as a darker reality! The nihilistic rant thing was just referring to how he brought up the beginning and ends of parts of these worlds and moving towards a greater darkness, as well as the parts about damaged bodies and taking away flesh yada yada, it just all reads very existential to me. I don’t see why there has to be a right or wrong interpretation I feel like this poem doesn’t make a whole lot of sense at times so I just gave my attempt at understanding it and I feel like there are many different ways of understanding it, none of which I would describe as “entirely wrong” anyway I was in weird dark place when I made that comment but this poem is super interesting!
This is the first time ive played this track in years. Currently in a deep depression im denying to myself, a result of being alone during this pandemic. Back to working life, but avoiding conversation and contact where possible. This piece should by all means drag me deeper into the abyss, yet as i listen the hairs on the back of my neck become erect, yearning for the next wave of atmospheric pads and the next spoken word. Music like this shouldn't make people feel euphoric by convention, yet here I am, basking in its glory, with a warmth I havent felt in years. I feel that nobody around me can possibly warm to and understand this piece, but still there is some hope, that my yearning for someone to share it with can one day be fulfilled. That will be my own bitter, naive special plan. Your plan is a mistake he repeated. This world is a mistake i replied.
Because depression is the thing you know the best. It defines you. You probably, like most listeners here, have been exploring the darkest parts of you since childhood. That's why when this feeling comes, it centers you, brings you back to your true self. As long as you don't let it consume you to the point of harming yourself or someone else or just not being able to do anything properly, I believe there's beauty in that feeling.
This track has made a really weird connection with me. With all the episodes and shits and disassociation in what could be categorized as ptsd and maybe even schizophrenia, my mind and idea of myself are scrambled. What the voice says in this track was almost like a mirror of myself and how pessimistic and angry I've become, it helped me quite a bit almost like a journal, letting myself be more aware of what my head and inner voice have been mulling over and shaping me into.
Thanks for sharing, and glad this work has connected with you. I can't say for sure, but I think the author is suggesting that people who are "damaged" - are best situated to understand just how absurd reality can be. I think this is why partly why people with ptsd get so angry with "normal people", because it's like we're walking around seeing the world for what it is (or what it can be), and everyone else is like #blessed... yeah, not so blessed when **insert cruel irony of life** happens to you or your family. Ptsd, in my opinion is not necessarily a total 'disability'. Sure, it impacts your interactions with other humans, but it also can allow you such a varied perspective that you are able to see/read between the lines of the interactions taking place around you. Trust your gut, keep those who understand you close. Mull over things, but don't forget that their is/are parts of reality that will still give up gifts to you without wanting anything in return. Perhaps it's a pet, perhaps it's nature in general. We'll all get to the final destination at some point - hope it's an interesting journey.
@@ThanatosReturns Thank you. Yes the part you said about the resentment towards people is true, at least with me. Especially so coming from a rural, poor area with little outlet for help where the overbooked practitioners prefer to just throw out pills. I still feel a hatred towards people and the world, for a lot of things in the past but as well as for leaving me in the dirt and ignoring me during what i think was the worst year of my life where I was having violent psychotic episodes, mood swings, and hallucinations nearly everyday. At least for me, it really changed many things about life. It feels as if I'm wandering in an eternal dreamstate. You walk around and know that even people you love, people who are special, people who feel untouchable can be suddenly ripped away by even the most little of things. . It feels as if you have been made aware of the true malice of the world, I still don't feel safe anywhere really. I always have to have a weapon and am always glancing around me everywhere I go. Human bodies are still very fragile, I feel a sort of gratitude for still being alive. When you live through such things, you see how repetitive and convoluted the world around you is. You live so detached and nothing feels alive as you watch in slow-motion all those around you bustling around and going about day after day. At least for me, I've gotten addicted to the anger that dulls sadness and emotional pains and the rush that comes from risk-taking and self-harm. I can say I've gotten a lot more functional and stable mainly on my own. I make art of scenes in the episodes, I write out personal thoughts, I exercise, mountain bike, snowboard. I'd likely have gone through with taking my life a while back if I didn't do these things. I found a little dog a year ago, it really helped me learn to let myself love again. Struggling and pushing myself alone in nature is where I feel the most of who I was before all of this. Just keep living and trying I guess. There will always be highs and lows. Life isn't a story where it will always be good or bad. I have and still do at times felt like things will always be full of pain and hell, wondering if it is worth living for. Struggle and suffer, keep trudging on, give your body and life a chance. Let yourself live and just exist in the present, no thoughts, no obligations. Enjoy the bits of light you get, let yourself cry and be weak. Keep what makes you feel alive when you go back into the dark. I don't know what this turned into really, I guess a rant or thought dump.
@@Ss-pn4vd Your "rant" was an amazing read into your own life. I'm sure you have, but if you haven't- you should start writing. The words you use and the way you portray your experiences were vivid and invested me. I am glad that you have found stability in your life, keep doing what makes you feel.
I'm envious of all the people who feel scared while listening to this or make jokes about it. Your comments show that some people still feel like people which is something that I'm glad to see but I'm still envious. I wish I could still feel, I wish I could be scared, you should cherish the fact that you can, you never know when it'll go away.
this is a hella late reply but, i dont know what happened to you, idk if this is the result of something horrible that happened to you so im not gonna assume shit but i hope the best for u
This happened to me when I rejected my own humanity and began to live at odds with my neighbors. Trust no one, soon you will have no one to live for either, except your miserable self.
for some reason this makes me feel like im in a cold tent at night with the mountains and im miles away from civilisation. all i have is a dim lantern that is running out of battery and a bottle of water
i am literally obsessed with this track (song? idk). i havent been able to stop listening to it. something about the story is so hypnotizing and the artwork adds onto the fascination. everyone thinks im crazy as shit.
I wanted to witness what could never be. I wanted to see what could not be seen, the moment of consummate disaster when puppet turns to face puppet master.
I was shivering by the time i finished this album. I decided to listen to it in the dark, with just my laptop in front of me (in which the only thing i could look at was the album art), i had my headset on with the volume turned up to the point every other noise was blocked out. I truly got absorbed, and I am appalled at the physical and mental effect of this. It was scary and disturbing in a way, but thats the beauty of it, no other album has given me a feeling like this. Truly amazing.
*I Have a Special Plan for This World: by Thomas Ligotti* When everyone you have ever loved is finally gone When everything you have ever wanted is finally done with When all of your nightmares are for a time obscured As by a shining brainless beacon Or a blinding eclipse of the many terrible shapes of this world When you are calm and joyful And finally entirely alone Then in a great new darkness You will finally execute your special plan One needs to have a plan someone said who was turned away into the shadows And who I had believed was sleeping or dead Imagine he said all the flesh that is eaten The teeth tearing into it The tongue tasting it's savour And the hunger for that taste Now take away that flesh he said Take away the teeth and the tongue The taste and the hunger Take away everything as it is That was my plan My own special plan for this world I listened to these words and yet I did not wonder If this creature whom I had thought sleeping or dead would ever approach his vision Even in his deepest dreams Or his most lasting death Because I had heard of such plans such visions And I knew they did not see far enough But what was demanded in a way of a plan Needed to go beyond tongue and teeth and hunger and flesh Beyond the bones and the very dust of bones and the wind that would come to blow the dust away And so I began to envision a darkness that was long before the dark of night And a strangely shining light That owed nothing to the light of day That day may seem like other days Once more we feel the tiny legged trepidations Once more we are mangled by a great grinding fear But that day will have no others after No more worlds like this will follow Because I have a plan A very special plan No more worlds like this No more days like that There are but four ways to die a sardonic spirit might have said to me There is dying that occurs relatively suddenly There is dying that occurs relatively gradually There is dying that occurs relatively painlessly There is the death that is full of pain Thus by various means they are combined The sudden and the gradual The painless and the painful To yield but four ways to die And there are no others Even after the voice stopped speaking I listened for it to speak again After hours and day and years have passed I listened for some further words Yet all I heard were the faintest echoes reminding me There are no others There are no others Was it then that I began to conceive for this world A special plan? There are no means for escaping this world It penetrates even into your sleep And is his substance You are caught in your own dreaming Where there is no space And a hell forever where there is no time You can't do nothing you aren't told to do There is no hope for escape from this dream That was never yours The very words you speak are only it's very words And you talk like a traitor Under it's incessant torture There are many who have designs upon this world And dream of wild and vast reformations I have heard them talking in their sleep Of elegant mutations And cunning annihilations I have heard them whispering in the corners of crooked houses And in the alleys and narrow back streets of this crooked creaking universe Which they with their new designs were made straight and sound But each of these new and I'll conceived designs Is deranged in it's heart For they see this world as if it were alone and original And not as only one of count with others Whose nightmares all precede Like a hideous garden grown from a single seed I have heard these dreamers talking in their sleep And I stand waiting for them As at the top of a darkened flight of stairs They know nothing of me And none of the secrets of my special plan While I know every crooked creaking step of theirs It was the voice of someone who was waiting in the shadows Who was looking at the moon and waiting for me to turn the corner And enter a narrow street And stand with him in the dull glaze of moonlight Then he said to me He whispered That my plan was misconceived That my special plan for this world was a terrible mistake Because, he said, there is nothing to do and there is no where to go There is nothing to be and there is no one to know Your plan is a mistake, he repeated This world is a mistake, I replied The children always followed him When they saw him hopping by A funny walk A funny man A funny, funny, funny man He made them laugh sometimes He made them laugh oh yes he did He did he did he did he did Oh how he made them roll One day he took them to a place He knew a special place And told them things about this world This funny, funny, funny world Which made them laugh sometimes He made them laugh oh yes he did He did he did he did he did Oh how he made them roll Then the funny man who made them laugh Sometimes he did Revealed to them his special plan His very special funny plan Knowing they would understand And maybe laugh sometimes He made them laugh Oh yes he did He did he did he did he did Their eyes grew wide beneath there lids And how he made them roll I first learned the facts from a lunatic In a dark and quiet room that smelled of stale time and space There are no people Nothing at all like that The human phenomenon is but the sum of densely coiled layers of illusion Each of which winds itself upon the supreme insanity But there are persons of any kind When all that can be is mindless mirrors Laughing and screaming as they parade about In an endless dream But when I asked the lunatic what it was It swore itself within these mirrors As they marched endlessly in stale time and space He only looked and smiled Then he laughed and screamed And in his black and empty eyes I saw for a moment as in a mirror A form the shade of divinity In flight from it's stale infinity Of time and space and the worst of all Of this world dreams My special plan for the laughter And the screams We went to see some little show That was staged in an old she'd Past the edge of town And in it's beginnings all seemed well The miniature curtain stage glowed in the darkness While those dolls bounced along on their strings before our eyes And in it's beginnings all seemed well But then there came a suttle turning point which some have noticed And I was one Who quietly left the show No I did not Because I could see where things were going As the antics of those dolls grew strange And the fragile strings grew taut With their tiny pullings, tiny limbs The others around me became appalled And turned away and abandoned the show That was staged in an old she'd Past the edge of town But I wanted to witness what could never be I wanted to see what could not be seen But the moment of consummate disaster My puppets turned to face the puppet master It was twilight and I stood in a greyish haze of the vast empty building When the silence was enriched by a reverberant voice All the things of this world it said Are of but one essence For which there are no words This is the greater part which has no beginning or end And the one essence of this world for which there can be no words Is that all the things of this world This is the lesser part which had a beginning and shall have an end And for which words were conceived solely to speak of The tiny broken beings of this world it said The beginnings and endings of this world it said For which words were conceived solely to speak of Now remove these words and what remains it asks me As I stood in the twilight of that vast empty building But I did not answer The question echoed over and over But I remained silent until the echoes died And as twilight passed into the evening I felt my Special plan for which there are no words Moving towards a greater darkness There are some who have no voices Or none that will ever speak Because of the things they know about this world And the things they feel about this world Because the thoughts that fill a brain That is a damaged brain Because the pain that fills a body That is a damaged body Exists in other worlds Countless other worlds Each of which stands alone in an infinite empty blackness For which no words are being conceived And where no voices are able to speak When a brain is filled only with damaged thoughts When a damaged body is filled only with pain And stands alone in a world surrounded by infinite empty blackness And exists in a world for which there is no special plan When everyone you have ever loved is finally gone When everything you have ever wanted is finally done with When all of your nightmares are for a time obscured As by a shining brainless beacon Or a blinding eclipse of the many terrible shapes of this world When you are calm and joyful And finally entirely alone Then in a great new darkness You will finally execute your special plan
(Still proceeds to talk ominously into the speaker) Do you hear the trumpets of Gabriel calling? Can't you hear it, the day of reckoning is coming? But you all crawl over each other like rats in a sewer. I have fallen to earth from heavens grace and now you all point and laugh... Can you hear me now pizza God! 40 IN 30 - A PAPA JOHN TALE | MeatCanyon th-cam.com/video/-T27F5N2km8/w-d-xo.html Dec 2, 2019
If the person beside you does something spectacularly weird, you move from explored territory to unexplored territory as you don't understand what they're doing. So it's not exactly spatial-temporal territory, it's more like temporal-spatial territory. It's time and space because the same place can be a different place from one moment to the next. And that happens all the time when some event that you don't expect occurs in the place that you are. So your body is prepared to react, it's instinctively prepared to react to the emergence of chaotic circumstances, it does that by hyper activating your preparation for action, and increasing your capacity to pay attention, and preparing you to do a very large number of things at once because you don't know what to do, it's a high-stress reaction. But it’s built into you and it's so interesting because what that means is that part of what's built into people is the ability to deal with what they don't understand, which is a real paradox right, because how can you deal with what you don't understand? You don't understand it so... But the answer is... Well, you ramp up your ability to react in a very large number of ways and you do that by increasing your general level of arousal and your attention. And that also increases the probability that you're going to be attentive to new information and pull it and utilize it so that you can decide how to act rapidly. + Jordan Peterson: Men who know this are ahead of the competition | Essential Truth th-cam.com/video/pVuz-EmKP4M/w-d-xo.html Published on Feb 1, 2018 Most people will never be truly successful. The pull towards mediocrity is too strong. As David Schwartz once penned, “All around you is an environment that is trying to pull you down to Second-Class Street.” Most people will never escape the pull. Much of the thinking around is small-minded. Most people are overly concerned with “beating the other guy,” usually through manipulation and politics. As a result, they’re left fighting for scraps with the other 99%. + Why Most People Will Remain in Mediocrity The Art of Improvement th-cam.com/video/rH94x03Wl-M/w-d-xo.html Published on Aug 4, 2019
It's so true, too. If you view consciousness as something separate from the reality that surrounds us (which it must be as we all have individual minds - we don't have a shared consciousness), then we are like pebbles in a current. We move, but only as the flow commands. We cannot have true wills, as all exercised will is merely an acting out of the flow that surrounds and moves us (the dominant life paradigm). Therefore, to the conscious mind, life is torture caused by frustrated independence.
god i love vague writing so much. there so much you can do with peoples imagination and mess with they're interpretations differently. not to mention it has inspired me to wanting to practice such craft
Familiar with Nature Unveiled in my youth. In my 40s I semi retired from an allied health job and began dj'ing at the local backroom gay bar. Met a beautiful younger guy. Ryan. I always remember you. He turned me on to this. Lights out. 3am. On weed , scotch and Cuban coffee. Thank you Ryan.
I want to make music such as this. Its beautiful and terrifying with its poetic lyrics and droning insturmental. It's full of cynical despair and its utterly inspiring.
he's talking about life being more than just food, air, and other physical needs. but rather life being to itself a deeper purpose that goes far beyond the five senses. a meaning that speaks softly to a person by means of the conscience.
I feel as though someone is watching me now. I feel chilly. I'm cold. My skin can't protect me; my eyes are pushed too far into my head. I feel like nothing I ever say again will matter. I think I might never even speak again. I'm sad. I'm powerful. I'm peaceful. I'm longing. I'm crying. Shivering. Depersonalized.
Read some Ligotti, especially 'The conspiracy against the human race' , then you might understand that this more existantial horror or even revulsion of existance rather than a little creepy story.
@Jack Redelfs That's a bit harsh. He may not be a formal philosopher but he's still easier to understand than Ray Brassier and friendlier than Gary Inmendham.
@Jack Redelfs "we should commit suicide" This is literally wrong and I know that you know that you're wrong because you follow with "as a species" but it's still a gross oversimplification. "The existence of these adrenaline seekers seems to also speak against the basic premises of anti-natalism." It simply doesn't. Anti-natalism and knowledge of impending death aren't interchangeable.
@Jack Redelfs I agree that knowing the human primates, anti-natalism is a rather ludicrous and unrealistic position, but whatever your coping mechanisms are, fact is through time and entropy life leads to death as an indivdual and as a species too. As Imendham argues, the negative utility of life as a whole is hard to refute.
antinatalism is for weak cunts with no willpower to end their own life, so they project their own weakness onto the whole of humanity. mortality and humanity is the best thing to happen to 'reality'. fuck ligotti, read nietzsche.
Its been a few years since I listened to this album/song/whatever it could be called. and I just noticed a detail that I'm almost certain has been overlooked by anyone who has listened to this song . in the beginning monologue before the rest of the song whilst David is reading the poem if you listen extremely closely (maybe with high volume because its extremely faint), you can make out an extremely faint whisper that follows along with what he is saying. now it could just be my ears playing tricks on me or a audio artifact but whether its intentional or not it seems like the whisper is that of the of the mental health condition that the writer has manifesting itself in the song itself. before it comes out in its entirety when the same monologue is repeated at the end but with heavy distortion. Again, my ears could be playing tricks on me but it just seems too perfect of a coincidence to not be intentional and it just makes me appreciate this song more.
It's *MY* birthday party, so I get to choose the music!
I wouldn't call this music but I love it regardless
happy b-lated birthday o Ashley, I'm eating fish sticks
rofl
@@window_eye_when_do_i "Fish" sticks
just one song guys
least depressed man in britain
What being born in Br*tain does to a mf.
Ligotti would spit on you for boasting about a national identity
Whenever my girl walks in on me listening to this, she immediately leaves the room.
Jokes on her though, for she cannot conceive of my special plan, while I know every crooked creaking step of hers
I do think the special plan he's talking about is suicide, are you ok?
@@salty2382 I interpret the plan to be mass murder. So the question might be whether or not his girlfriend is okay.
@@thefaustiananointed6166 True
My girlfriend listens with me. Or at least stays in the room.
@@thefaustiananointed6166 I've always taken it as they want an absence of anything. Complete nothingness, no life, no planets, no stars.
Fun fact: the writer of this poem was not anyone in the band, but apparently an underrated cosmological horror writer named Thomas Ligotti. Age 70 now. He's suffered from a medical condition that makes him physically unable to experience pleasure.
damn me too he aint special
In a foreign town in a foreign land.
I'm a fan of Ligotti.
That clarifies a lot of things
His books are AMAZING.
This is my favorite cover version of "Imagine" by John Lennon.
+Polish Priest
Więcej grzechów nie pamiętam
Haha - right on the spot, mate!
hahahahaahahahahahahahaha
sp33kz
lol... the English. 💙
I wanna put this on an empty cd or cassete and just leave it somewhere
And leave it playing in the middle of an abandoned home
do it do it do it do it
This is actually the plot of the short story that the babbling man in the background is from. It's called The Bungalow House, and the babbling man is called Bungalow Bill
This is like the start of a late 2000s-early 2010s creepypasta.
What's stopping you, motherfucker?
I spilled baked beans all over myself watching some little show past the edge of town & a black teenager shouted "this n**** eating beans" and everyone laughed
This is what inspired the special plan
@@floppavevo5920 I genuinely laughed out loud. Well done.
I read this just as that part hit. Fate, it is.
The fact that the creepy, fried, electronic voice is just a speak-and-spell with its circuits altered is brilliant.
Where’d you find that?
th-cam.com/video/JrkQdNQOC2k/w-d-xo.html
@@ripperplaysclon152 I personally read that "fact" in the lyrics website Genius
I thought it sounded like a neural network voice synthesis that had not yet converged on coherent speaking yet.
straight banger, who still listening in 1999
+1
I am can't wait for the remake un 2047
I will be
"And now it's time for Silly Songs with Larry, the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song."
A very silly, silly, silly, silly song.
If you stare into the album art long enough the Album art stares back at you.
HelyerArt I’ve always had trouble looking people in the eyes. This effect doesn’t carry over to art though, I can stare into the eyes of a person in a painting all I want. That being said, I can’t look into this album art’s eyes.
Brian Deabler maybe the eyes in the album artwork are more like human eyes than those in the paintings
Fr tho
I Call it Ligotti face of Tibet
You mean like, 2 seconds??
"Your plan is a mistake." He repeated.
"This world is a mistake." I replied.
Got em
He's right.
Deez nuts
honey, they're playing our song!
God been real quiet since this banger dropped
He has a special plan for this world.
@@jhersongutierrez305 wouldn't that be nice? If there was somebody, somewhere who had a plan? Any plan? If all this was happening for a reason? Any reason at all?
God realized he doesn't exist after this banger dropped.
@@delta-9969Current 93 fan discovers Christianity
@@delta-9969 I have a special plan for this world
This is seriously the coolest thing C93 ever recorded. I have this on vinyl and if you play the b side, the whole thing is an extended recording of the guy you hear in the beginning babbling into a tape recorder.
>I have this on vinyl
you have no idea how jealous i am
Where did you purchase the vinyl?
@@holidayfartcruise1328 It's really hard to get.
Glossolalia
This makes me so happy
"The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far."
We making it out of the inevitable societal collapse with this one 🗣️🔥🔥🔥🔥
My old man was 102 years old at death. My step dad.I learned about electricity from him. Objectivity and subjectivity.I helped him to the toilet.He hemorrhages. I wash him.Put him to bed.He coughs up blood.I wipe his chin.He says " don't leave me". I lay next to him caressing his abdomen. "Rest old man". I remain at his side 'til he falls asleep. It's after 9 pm.Dec23,2020.His body died before sunrise 12/24/20.A beautiful death
DAVID TIBET must be honored to know of.
I’m glad your dad had such a wonderful caretaker in you! I miss being one myself.
'Their eyes grew wide beneath their lids' has to be one of the most subtly terrifying lines in all poetry.
why?
@@universal_hyssoap yeah what does that actually mean?
@@4lfie- unsure if this is really the correct interpretation, but pupils are shown to dilate shortly after death
@@chineseslaverythat’s how I interpret it.
For me its the "But the moment of consummate disaster
My puppets turned to face the puppet master"
"psychotic teletubby sun doesn't exist, it can't hurt you."
psychotic teletubby sun:
when i was at rock bottom i listened to this on repeat, absolute agony.
Same. Drinking hard and playing this, DSBM, Giles Corey, Swans, and "Welcome to the Process" by GGFH. Existential self-mutilation.
same. i'd play it on repeat while showering, drawing, stabbing nails into things, doing the laundry.
Now let's just say hypothetically speaking that I were to have a plan for this world, a very special plan for this world
I think bro might have a plan, a very special plan for this world.
It’s a terrible mistake
I have schizophrenia and this is an accurate portrayal of the schizos universe and day to day thinking patterns, voices and daily life
Same
Not gonna lie, I was thinking it sounds like the writter is / was schizophrenic...
@@fuckinnefor7639 To my knowledge Mr Ligotti has never been schizophrenic, but if you read his other works or even just an interview it might give you a better insight into what's his thought process here.
@Jack Redelfs SOMA has a very good existential horror and I think it's a great example for game industry of how to write a good story for a horror game. I recommend you check it out, it doesn't use cheap jump scares to build dread
As Lacan puts out, because schizophrenics lack the psychological structure Lacan named as Name-of-the-Father(the structure which is necessary to accept laws of society), any kind of desire they have only make them suffer, the reason is they can't really build a pathways in society and find a way to make use of their desires. They only feel oppression, fear, castration.
This just lifts the spirits. It's like a British downward spiral on recorded a loaned tape recorder. After listening to this I am now full of hope and yearn for fish and chips.
Drake: haha youre short
Kendrick:
Fuck I was just about to say it 😂😂
You are the lamest people around, congratulations
lol
Fun fact: this is actually a diss track at the Demiurge
I dont get it
@@leetorry The song uses Ligotti's nihilistic, deterministic outlook of life to expound on Tibet's use of the gnostic-like idea that the creator of the material world might be an evil deity of sorts, or at least a misguided, flawed one.
The difference is that Ligotti as a materialist sees no hope whatsoever, but Tibet as a Christian sees Christ as the light to transcend this world.
10/10 comment
@Darkcyndoge everyone has a tinge of genuine genius buried in the crevices of their minds once the false projected self is put aside for awhile
This is Yaldaboath’s favourite music.
Have you ever had a special plan that you, um, you had, your, you- you could, you’ll do, you- you wants, you, you could do so, you- you’ll do, you could- you, you want, you want him to do you so much you could do anything?
The weird glitched gibberish bits make me feel like I’m suffocating
gusic
so you heard it too?
gusic
gusic
gusic
Send "I Have A Special Plan For This World" Ringtone to your Cell
This shits incredible. It’s from 2000 but it feels completely timeless, like it exists outside the concept of linear time flow.
Timeless? I'd say this sounds like it's from the late 60s.
It sounds like somebody listened to King Crimson and was like "lmao this shit's too mainstream. I'm going to make this underground."
As they marched endlessly in stale time & space
@@BlackuKnighto lol right, people see the most dated shit and throw "this is timeless!!!!!!:o"
@@BlackuKnighto odd comparison
@@ryounyanit's not really dated if it's an intentional artistic choice
In the 2000s they could have easily made it sound better but they chose this
He whispered
That my plan was misconceived
That my special plan for this world was a terrible mistake
"Because," he said, "there is nothing to do and there is no where to go!"
"There is nothing to be and there is no one to know!"
"Your plan is a mistake," he repeated
"This world is a mistake," I replied
That part made me shiver hard
One of the best lines from this story! Very cryptic
its amazing to me that at the time i went to disney world as a little kid in 2000 there was a man sufferering with the same problems i do now
Funny, I also went to Disney world as a little kid in 2000
I never got to be in Disney world because my parents are broke
this is a certified hood classic
As someone who has suffered from paranoid delusions, this is such a relatable poem
I cannot stop listening to this. It is utterly addictive and hypnotic. At times dark but has a childish "Syd Barrett" esque feel to the phrasing and language choices of the prose poem.
Current 93 is such a fascinating artist. Quite unsettling at times, but some tracks are quite relaxing and beautiful.
Yooo what are YOU doing here? Also true that!
Why is bro here
In absolute love with this. The last verse's glitches creeped the shit out of me. The puppets verse though, damn. Amazing.
The glitches make me think about Keter Class Memetic InfoHazard.
i so love how this is its completely beyond all the illusions of "safety" and "happiness" and all human made systems of indoctrination, religious or any other, once you understand it, it will never "disturb" you, it will calm you, because you will realize you are one of the very few that sees through all of it.
My favorite part of my Love-Making playlist!!
Play this on the bowling alley jukebox , once it start playing , it can’t be paused or canceled
The numbness, the overstimulation, this has become a comfort of sorts. I love this project. Its a favorite of mine. Uncomfortable in nature, calming in retrospect. It urges an emotion all stimulators ive interacted with hasnt ticked yet; I believe that to be where the comfort comes from.
This is the most chilling thing I've ever heard. I simply don't have words. I have the rest of my life to contemplate what I've listened to today.
Its a beginning
Being alive is not "alright"
It's a Thomas Ligotti poem
I would like to tape this to cassette and leave it to friends car. Probably should write "plan" to it...
Or put it on an empty flash drive and leave it on a park bench.
@@bigboineptune9567 thats... actually an idea yk...
Rovo pfp!
So... I have a distinct yet vague memory of some close friend sharing this with me and rambling on and on about it's great and terrifying meanings.... But I only have one close friend... only one person who could have possibly shown this to me... and they were horrified by this and seriously swear to have no idea what I'm talking about.
I hope they read this comment and are messing with me.
I always find myself coming back to this again...
UntitledKirk come back
@@GoogleAccount-vh8ei back
@@UntitledKirk Welcome back, I am in the same boat
Yo
@@maniacwaste5828 hi
Hitting the griddy to this
Feel good hit of the summer
This is Enchanting and healing. I am 73 Years old, Thomas Ligotti born 1954 so He Lived what I Lived! This makes it Personal, eerie ? No a Dreary Eyes shall wonder
I am actually 74 Years Old, I am Senile, and have forget that so I use Online Calculators > Time Calculators
How old am I if I was born in 1949? - If you were born in 1949, you are 74 years old.
Hillary Clinton 123 is 74 Years Old.
This is Enchanting and healing.
Gotta have Electricity, dude! Electric Music "Requires" AC/DC ya know? An abandoned, broken house with no electricity, Like Bummer, Desuetude and Dudes, Electricity IS GOD. trust me, I am a RADIO TECH & A HAM OPERATOR my Daddy was Nickles Los Tesla, Inventor of WEIRD SHIT for Internal Cummsumption...Like....Yo' Dude! CONSUME -4 IT is the AMERICIUM WHEY "KILL, EAT, REGURGITATE" The U.S.A. Manifest Destiny , Manford-Mann.
Replied to a comment on Current 93 - Nature Unveiled (1984)
When he said
*OË AY he Æ ÆÆ OË AÉ GAÉ GAÉ E-E-E-E-E-E-E* I felt it 😔
pov what your leg says when it falls asleep
Eldritch Throat Singing
Apparantly it’s just a speak and spell with altered circuits.
Same
"But I wanted to witness what could never be
I wanted to see what could never be seen
The moment of consumate disaster
When puppets turn to face the puppetmaster"
This segment always gives me chills.
Oh yes, I am with you on that. Horror comes in many forms; this is rendered down to raw articulated nerve endings.
This. I like how the rhymes come unexpectedly and mostly in the most chilling moments.
IFKR same.
Timestamp?
@@v4mpire723 15:17
I think this is the story of a man so fed up with reality, he wants to end everything, not just himself. Not that he kill’s himself, or that he never existed, but that existence itself would never have been a thing.
When he talks about taking away hunger, and teeth, and flesh, and all that, it alludes that he wants to go deeper than simply ending a single thing; he wants to end everything.
The part with the mindless mirrors, I think references the fact that everybody is a reflection of the universe, or in other words, the universe experiencing itself. What made the lunatic who said that go insane was the idea that, if some people wanted the world to end, then that meant the universe itself wanted to end, in a manner of speaking. We are the universe dreaming of its own annihilation.
The puppetmaster section could be an allusion to the above idea, but applies in the form of Creation reflecting God’s wishes, rather than the universe becoming aware of itself. If Creation becomes aware that it’s a part of God, and parts of Creation (nihilistic people) want to put an end to everything, it implies that God could be suicidal. By these means, could the special plan dude enact the destruction of everything.
The part where he talks about words describing different forms of this primordial “essence”, I think is his attempt to describe the fabric of reality in its rawest form. Him moving forwards with his plan was the realization that if he could stop anything from starting at all, he could put an end to everything. Either that, or by somehow destroying the fabric of reality itself, he could end everything from matter, space, time, and even concepts.
Finally, the different worlds existing in an infinite void, I think is about human perception. How the things we think about exist to some extent. How our worst nightmares have some possibility of coming to fruition.
Those are my two cents lol
"We are the universe dreaming of its own annihilation"...Wow! Brilliant take on this prose(?). Love your take on the whole thing. I've listened to this probably 30 times and I had kind of gotten to the point that the narrator just feels this life, this existence is unnecessary ; and futile in the fact of even trying to justify why we are here, what kind of creator would or could even imagine starting this whole thing . Nihilism at its core.
I don't know if I'm on to something with this train of thought but just wanted to say "thanks" for your perspective! It made me think and that is the point.
@@SpiderStratagemVINo problem! I think with anything that’s vague, you can build your own interpretation with it. But yeah it’s fun to think of a story in a new light. I definitely need more practice with doing that though lol
The moments between the reading, where the voice sounds like it's trying to speak, I feel it in my throat. Like I'm trying to talk but I'm having a stroke. I love it and I hate it.
Listening to this while reading _Songs of a Dead Dreamer_. Ligotti overload.
Dude wtf me 2. Literatures best kept secret is making his rounds in the succulent machinations of our maginations. Shalom
98 people disliked this video... they couldn't stop at 93?? The shits
I think the “worlds” in this poem are the different individual perceptions and life experiences of everyone. So when he talks about a special plan for this world, I believe he’s referring to life aspirations. It seems that his own aspiration throughout this poem is the taking of his own life. He mentions taking away flesh, teeth, tongue and hunger “take away everything as it is, that was my special plan.” When the voice tells him that his plan is misconceived, that there is no people or anywhere to go, it makes me think that someone in his life is trying to talk him out of suicide, saying it’s a mistake. He replies saying his life is a mistake.
The section where he mentions the lunatic, that swore itself within mirrors, it seems like he’s having a dialogue with himself, but not perceiving that the man in the mirror is himself, perhaps suggesting some kind of dissociative mental disorder.
There also seems to be some kinda themes of murder. This may be a stretch but, the puppets and the children seem related to me, the funny man makes them laugh but throughout there is also a strong connection drawn between laughing and screaming. Maybe he has trouble telling the difference. Saying “their eyes grew wide beneath their lids, and how he made them roll” sounds very murder-y to me. And the setting of the shed outside of town just seems very unsettling.
That being said, it being about mental illness and murder/suicide may be kind of a generic take on it, or trying to apply a narrative to an abstract nihilistic rant, but I just found this stuff interesting! The way he switches between talking about “this world” and other worlds seems very curious to me and the various mentions of special plans that seem to refer to different worlds at times seems to reflect a sense of individualism to them.
He talks about a damaged body and mind and how they stand alone in a world surrounded by darkness, suggesting that the crooked world he keeps talking about is his own damaged perception, shrouded in a darkness where he sees no people, no hope, no escape. Just a lunatic in the mirror telling him what to do. His special plan is to end worlds (lives), just to satiate that existential curiosity. To appease that voice that tells him that everyone needs a special plan. Not only does he want relief, an escape from this world, he wants to uncover a “greater darkness” a greater darkness than life or death, or the wind that blows the dust of your bones. A darkness which is beyond description.
Ok, I’ve thought about this quite enough...
I found the ways words and phrases could insinuate multiple meanings or perspectives interesting too--the merging of screams and laughter stuck out to me in particular. The interpretations about murder and mental illness definitely make sense to me.
As it went along it felt like I entered his perspective and it didn't feel like he was mentally ill anymore, but that his feelings accurately matched the situation. It started feeling, on one hand, like a man's deep lament at a universe that bred conscious beings who can't do anything but act out its cold will and act like it's their own. That the only way things could be set 'right' is if every last person, plant, piece of matter, dispersed.
It gave me this vibe like, to him, the universe was a sidestep in some path that can get back on course only once it's completely evaporated altogether. Which made me think back to him talking about how he'd sometimes just hear someone talking in his head, or in a dream, or feel like he was a part in someone else's dream. The person who tells him his plan won't work. Sounds like he might be behind what sparked the misstep of all the different worlds in the universe in the first place. Or maybe this is the actual being dreaming up all of the universe that the main guy lives in. And the guy is slowly realized that every thought, wish, hope he could ever have, is just ideas of the real dreamer being played out through him.
I guess it could be a mentally ill man and a normal man in a fucked up world at the same time. Who knows?
Think bigger. It's not about ending lives. That would just be the man talking about taking away the taste and the hunger and the flesh.
There's elements of daoism at play.
i also took the "worlds" to be the universe of perception constructed by the sentient mind. there are countless of them because every person has one, and they are separated by infinite impermeable blackness because no matter what you do, you will never inhabit someone else's mind. but then you are only subjected to this state of being because your own consciousness imposes it on you. that's what i think this stanza is talking about in particular:
There are no means for escaping this world
It penetrates even into your sleep
And is his substance
You are caught in your own dreaming
Where there is no space
And are held forever where there is no time
You can do nothing you aren't told to do
There is no hope for escape from this dream
That was never yours
The very words you speak are only it's very words
And you talk like a traitor
Under its incessant torture
You're more or less entirely wrong, nothing about mental illness at all but one person's special plan for the world. The weird things he describes aren't mere symbols or representation, he lives in a darker reality than ours.
It's not an "abstract nihilist rant", it's a poem by a horror author who also made a short story with the same name. (One with an unambigous supernatural element or two at that.)
@@Trazen4 I haven’t thought about this for a fuckin minute but somehow you’ve compelled me to reply XD yeah I didn’t claim to be “right” or whatever so it feels like your comment is kinda rude but either way your description makes sense. I don’t have the context of having read the short story and was just generally having trouble understanding the meaning behind the poem which is why I made the comment in the first place. I like the description that he lives in a darker reality, it definitely explains some of the things that don’t seem to have real world symbolism or explanations and looking back it was kinda strange for me to try and make all those connections but I guess that’s just how my brain works. That being said I would definitely describe mental illness as a darker reality! The nihilistic rant thing was just referring to how he brought up the beginning and ends of parts of these worlds and moving towards a greater darkness, as well as the parts about damaged bodies and taking away flesh yada yada, it just all reads very existential to me. I don’t see why there has to be a right or wrong interpretation I feel like this poem doesn’t make a whole lot of sense at times so I just gave my attempt at understanding it and I feel like there are many different ways of understanding it, none of which I would describe as “entirely wrong” anyway I was in weird dark place when I made that comment but this poem is super interesting!
This is the first time ive played this track in years. Currently in a deep depression im denying to myself, a result of being alone during this pandemic. Back to working life, but avoiding conversation and contact where possible.
This piece should by all means drag me deeper into the abyss, yet as i listen the hairs on the back of my neck become erect, yearning for the next wave of atmospheric pads and the next spoken word. Music like this shouldn't make people feel euphoric by convention, yet here I am, basking in its glory, with a warmth I havent felt in years.
I feel that nobody around me can possibly warm to and understand this piece, but still there is some hope, that my yearning for someone to share it with can one day be fulfilled. That will be my own bitter, naive special plan.
Your plan is a mistake he repeated.
This world is a mistake i replied.
Art is made to comfor the disturbed and disturbe the comfortable.
Because depression is the thing you know the best. It defines you.
You probably, like most listeners here, have been exploring the darkest parts of you since childhood. That's why when this feeling comes, it centers you, brings you back to your true self. As long as you don't let it consume you to the point of harming yourself or someone else or just not being able to do anything properly, I believe there's beauty in that feeling.
what a gay, contrived, and self-absorbed comment
workout playlist
The bass drops at 6:00
This track has made a really weird connection with me. With all the episodes and shits and disassociation in what could be categorized as ptsd and maybe even schizophrenia, my mind and idea of myself are scrambled. What the voice says in this track was almost like a mirror of myself and how pessimistic and angry I've become, it helped me quite a bit almost like a journal, letting myself be more aware of what my head and inner voice have been mulling over and shaping me into.
Don't shit on me sharing my thoughts.
@@roguemutantbrain119 well done gromit
Thanks for sharing, and glad this work has connected with you. I can't say for sure, but I think the author is suggesting that people who are "damaged" - are best situated to understand just how absurd reality can be.
I think this is why partly why people with ptsd get so angry with "normal people", because it's like we're walking around seeing the world for what it is (or what it can be), and everyone else is like #blessed... yeah, not so blessed when **insert cruel irony of life** happens to you or your family.
Ptsd, in my opinion is not necessarily a total 'disability'. Sure, it impacts your interactions with other humans, but it also can allow you such a varied perspective that you are able to see/read between the lines of the interactions taking place around you.
Trust your gut, keep those who understand you close. Mull over things, but don't forget that their is/are parts of reality that will still give up gifts to you without wanting anything in return. Perhaps it's a pet, perhaps it's nature in general. We'll all get to the final destination at some point - hope it's an interesting journey.
@@ThanatosReturns Thank you. Yes the part you said about the resentment towards people is true, at least with me. Especially so coming from a rural, poor area with little outlet for help where the overbooked practitioners prefer to just throw out pills. I still feel a hatred towards people and the world, for a lot of things in the past but as well as for leaving me in the dirt and ignoring me during what i think was the worst year of my life where I was having violent psychotic episodes, mood swings, and hallucinations nearly everyday.
At least for me, it really changed many things about life. It feels as if I'm wandering in an eternal dreamstate. You walk around and know that even people you love, people who are special, people who feel untouchable can be suddenly ripped away by even the most little of things. . It feels as if you have been made aware of the true malice of the world, I still don't feel safe anywhere really. I always have to have a weapon and am always glancing around me everywhere I go. Human bodies are still very fragile, I feel a sort of gratitude for still being alive. When you live through such things, you see how repetitive and convoluted the world around you is. You live so detached and nothing feels alive as you watch in slow-motion all those around you bustling around and going about day after day. At least for me, I've gotten addicted to the anger that dulls sadness and emotional pains and the rush that comes from risk-taking and self-harm.
I can say I've gotten a lot more functional and stable mainly on my own. I make art of scenes in the episodes, I write out personal thoughts, I exercise, mountain bike, snowboard. I'd likely have gone through with taking my life a while back if I didn't do these things. I found a little dog a year ago, it really helped me learn to let myself love again. Struggling and pushing myself alone in nature is where I feel the most of who I was before all of this.
Just keep living and trying I guess. There will always be highs and lows. Life isn't a story where it will always be good or bad. I have and still do at times felt like things will always be full of pain and hell, wondering if it is worth living for. Struggle and suffer, keep trudging on, give your body and life a chance. Let yourself live and just exist in the present, no thoughts, no obligations. Enjoy the bits of light you get, let yourself cry and be weak. Keep what makes you feel alive when you go back into the dark.
I don't know what this turned into really, I guess a rant or thought dump.
@@Ss-pn4vd Your "rant" was an amazing read into your own life. I'm sure you have, but if you haven't- you should start writing. The words you use and the way you portray your experiences were vivid and invested me. I am glad that you have found stability in your life, keep doing what makes you feel.
I'm envious of all the people who feel scared while listening to this or make jokes about it. Your comments show that some people still feel like people which is something that I'm glad to see but I'm still envious. I wish I could still feel, I wish I could be scared, you should cherish the fact that you can, you never know when it'll go away.
That is a bummer. I know the author of this has had periods of inability to derive enjoyment from anything. Apparently it can pass.
this is a hella late reply but, i dont know what happened to you, idk if this is the result of something horrible that happened to you so im not gonna assume shit but i hope the best for u
This happened to me when I rejected my own humanity and began to live at odds with my neighbors. Trust no one, soon you will have no one to live for either, except your miserable self.
Nice Coldsteel the Hedgehog larp there mate!
My first time hearing this piece was unforgettable, and each time since has been a brand new revelation.
Ever since I read Monster by urasawa this song is constantly popping in my head I love them both so much
I feel johan would love this.
Call and response schizophrenic-like statements manifested through a stream of consciousness. It's hypnotic and interesting to listen to.
for some reason this makes me feel like im in a cold tent at night with the mountains and im miles away from civilisation. all i have is a dim lantern that is running out of battery and a bottle of water
i am literally obsessed with this track (song? idk). i havent been able to stop listening to it. something about the story is so hypnotizing and the artwork adds onto the fascination. everyone thinks im crazy as shit.
I wanted to witness what could never be. I wanted to see what could not be seen, the moment of consummate disaster when puppet turns to face puppet master.
That part got me. Amazing.
holy fuck i came across your comment right as he said it im shitting myself
My favourite lines from this track
*nods approvingly*
@@morsanima LITERALLY SAME DUDE WTF
WE MAKING A SPECIAL PLAN FOR THIS WORLD WITH THIS ONE!!!1!1!11!!!!!11!!!🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯💯💯💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶
ong
This generation can only convey their feelings with emoticons...
@@hellinterface6721it's ironic lol
This ironic cringe is still cringe.
@@EerieMoon_Jeez, you guys must be fun at parties.
I was shivering by the time i finished this album.
I decided to listen to it in the dark, with just my laptop in front of me (in which the only thing i could look at was the album art), i had my headset on with the volume turned up to the point every other noise was blocked out. I truly got absorbed, and I am appalled at the physical and mental effect of this.
It was scary and disturbing in a way, but thats the beauty of it, no other album has given me a feeling like this. Truly amazing.
I know exactly how you feel. Subversively beautiful in its own way.
Also +1 for watamote
No.
This song made me lose aux permissions
AHAHAHHAAH
HE DID HE DID HE DID HE DID
That part creeps me the hell out.
this song is eating my soul, i'm already at 12:05 minutes, i'm afraid there's no turning back now
Song. Yes.
Point Of No Return AT 0:01
*I Have a Special Plan for This World: by Thomas Ligotti*
When everyone you have ever loved is finally gone
When everything you have ever wanted is finally done with
When all of your nightmares are for a time obscured
As by a shining brainless beacon
Or a blinding eclipse of the many terrible shapes of this world
When you are calm and joyful
And finally entirely alone
Then in a great new darkness
You will finally execute your special plan
One needs to have a plan someone said who was turned away into the shadows
And who I had believed was sleeping or dead
Imagine he said all the flesh that is eaten
The teeth tearing into it
The tongue tasting it's savour
And the hunger for that taste
Now take away that flesh he said
Take away the teeth and the tongue
The taste and the hunger
Take away everything as it is
That was my plan
My own special plan for this world
I listened to these words and yet I did not wonder
If this creature whom I had thought sleeping or dead would ever approach his vision
Even in his deepest dreams
Or his most lasting death
Because I had heard of such plans such visions
And I knew they did not see far enough
But what was demanded in a way of a plan
Needed to go beyond tongue and teeth and hunger and flesh
Beyond the bones and the very dust of bones and the wind that would come to blow the dust away
And so I began to envision a darkness that was long before the dark of night
And a strangely shining light
That owed nothing to the light of day
That day may seem like other days
Once more we feel the tiny legged trepidations
Once more we are mangled by a great grinding fear
But that day will have no others after
No more worlds like this will follow
Because I have a plan
A very special plan
No more worlds like this
No more days like that
There are but four ways to die a sardonic spirit might have said to me
There is dying that occurs relatively suddenly
There is dying that occurs relatively gradually
There is dying that occurs relatively painlessly
There is the death that is full of pain
Thus by various means they are combined
The sudden and the gradual
The painless and the painful
To yield but four ways to die
And there are no others
Even after the voice stopped speaking
I listened for it to speak again
After hours and day and years have passed
I listened for some further words
Yet all I heard were the faintest echoes reminding me
There are no others
There are no others
Was it then that I began to conceive for this world
A special plan?
There are no means for escaping this world
It penetrates even into your sleep
And is his substance
You are caught in your own dreaming
Where there is no space
And a hell forever where there is no time
You can't do nothing you aren't told to do
There is no hope for escape from this dream
That was never yours
The very words you speak are only it's very words
And you talk like a traitor
Under it's incessant torture
There are many who have designs upon this world
And dream of wild and vast reformations
I have heard them talking in their sleep
Of elegant mutations
And cunning annihilations
I have heard them whispering in the corners of crooked houses
And in the alleys and narrow back streets of this crooked creaking universe
Which they with their new designs were made straight and sound
But each of these new and I'll conceived designs
Is deranged in it's heart
For they see this world as if it were alone and original
And not as only one of count with others
Whose nightmares all precede
Like a hideous garden grown from a single seed
I have heard these dreamers talking in their sleep
And I stand waiting for them
As at the top of a darkened flight of stairs
They know nothing of me
And none of the secrets of my special plan
While I know every crooked creaking step of theirs
It was the voice of someone who was waiting in the shadows
Who was looking at the moon and waiting for me to turn the corner
And enter a narrow street
And stand with him in the dull glaze of moonlight
Then he said to me
He whispered
That my plan was misconceived
That my special plan for this world was a terrible mistake
Because, he said, there is nothing to do and there is no where to go
There is nothing to be and there is no one to know
Your plan is a mistake, he repeated
This world is a mistake, I replied
The children always followed him
When they saw him hopping by
A funny walk
A funny man
A funny, funny, funny man
He made them laugh sometimes
He made them laugh oh yes he did
He did he did he did he did
Oh how he made them roll
One day he took them to a place
He knew a special place
And told them things about this world
This funny, funny, funny world
Which made them laugh sometimes
He made them laugh oh yes he did
He did he did he did he did
Oh how he made them roll
Then the funny man who made them laugh
Sometimes he did
Revealed to them his special plan
His very special funny plan
Knowing they would understand
And maybe laugh sometimes
He made them laugh
Oh yes he did
He did he did he did he did
Their eyes grew wide beneath there lids
And how he made them roll
I first learned the facts from a lunatic
In a dark and quiet room that smelled of stale time and space
There are no people
Nothing at all like that
The human phenomenon is but the sum of densely coiled layers of illusion
Each of which winds itself upon the supreme insanity
But there are persons of any kind
When all that can be is mindless mirrors
Laughing and screaming as they parade about
In an endless dream
But when I asked the lunatic what it was
It swore itself within these mirrors
As they marched endlessly in stale time and space
He only looked and smiled
Then he laughed and screamed
And in his black and empty eyes
I saw for a moment as in a mirror
A form the shade of divinity
In flight from it's stale infinity
Of time and space and the worst of all
Of this world dreams
My special plan for the laughter
And the screams
We went to see some little show
That was staged in an old she'd
Past the edge of town
And in it's beginnings all seemed well
The miniature curtain stage glowed in the darkness
While those dolls bounced along on their strings before our eyes
And in it's beginnings all seemed well
But then there came a suttle turning point which some have noticed
And I was one
Who quietly left the show
No I did not
Because I could see where things were going
As the antics of those dolls grew strange
And the fragile strings grew taut
With their tiny pullings, tiny limbs
The others around me became appalled
And turned away and abandoned the show
That was staged in an old she'd
Past the edge of town
But I wanted to witness what could never be
I wanted to see what could not be seen
But the moment of consummate disaster
My puppets turned to face the puppet master
It was twilight and I stood in a greyish haze of the vast empty building
When the silence was enriched by a reverberant voice
All the things of this world it said
Are of but one essence
For which there are no words
This is the greater part which has no beginning or end
And the one essence of this world for which there can be no words
Is that all the things of this world
This is the lesser part which had a beginning and shall have an end
And for which words were conceived solely to speak of
The tiny broken beings of this world it said
The beginnings and endings of this world it said
For which words were conceived solely to speak of
Now remove these words and what remains it asks me
As I stood in the twilight of that vast empty building
But I did not answer
The question echoed over and over
But I remained silent until the echoes died
And as twilight passed into the evening I felt my
Special plan for which there are no words
Moving towards a greater darkness
There are some who have no voices
Or none that will ever speak
Because of the things they know about this world
And the things they feel about this world
Because the thoughts that fill a brain
That is a damaged brain
Because the pain that fills a body
That is a damaged body
Exists in other worlds
Countless other worlds
Each of which stands alone in an infinite empty blackness
For which no words are being conceived
And where no voices are able to speak
When a brain is filled only with damaged thoughts
When a damaged body is filled only with pain
And stands alone in a world surrounded by infinite empty blackness
And exists in a world for which there is no special plan
When everyone you have ever loved is finally gone
When everything you have ever wanted is finally done with
When all of your nightmares are for a time obscured
As by a shining brainless beacon
Or a blinding eclipse of the many terrible shapes of this world
When you are calm and joyful
And finally entirely alone
Then in a great new darkness
You will finally execute your special plan
What a beautiful peace of dark nihilistic art.
Why does listening to this make TH-cam throw up kids songs and nursery rhyme videos on the recommended sidebar...
they want to purify you man
Sir, this is a McDonald’s drive thru.
(Still proceeds to talk ominously into the speaker)
Do you hear the trumpets of Gabriel calling?
Can't you hear it, the day of reckoning is coming? But you all crawl over each other like rats in a sewer. I have fallen to earth from heavens grace and now you all point and laugh... Can you hear me now pizza God!
40 IN 30 - A PAPA JOHN TALE | MeatCanyon
th-cam.com/video/-T27F5N2km8/w-d-xo.html Dec 2, 2019
@@NeoJiNeTiK the trumpet is Israfils this is stupid
If the person beside you does something spectacularly weird, you move from explored territory to unexplored territory as you don't understand what they're doing. So it's not exactly spatial-temporal territory, it's more like temporal-spatial territory. It's time and space because the same place can be a different place from one moment to the next. And that happens all the time when some event that you don't expect occurs in the place that you are. So your body is prepared to react, it's instinctively prepared to react to the emergence of chaotic circumstances, it does that by hyper activating your preparation for action, and increasing your capacity to pay attention, and preparing you to do a very large number of things at once because you don't know what to do, it's a high-stress reaction. But it’s built into you and it's so interesting because what that means is that part of what's built into people is the ability to deal with what they don't understand, which is a real paradox right, because how can you deal with what you don't understand? You don't understand it so... But the answer is... Well, you ramp up your ability to react in a very large number of ways and you do that by increasing your general level of arousal and your attention. And that also increases the probability that you're going to be attentive to new information and pull it and utilize it so that you can decide how to act rapidly.
+
Jordan Peterson: Men who know this are ahead of the competition | Essential Truth
th-cam.com/video/pVuz-EmKP4M/w-d-xo.html Published on Feb 1, 2018
Most people will never be truly successful. The pull towards mediocrity is too strong.
As David Schwartz once penned, “All around you is an environment that is trying to pull you down to Second-Class Street.”
Most people will never escape the pull. Much of the thinking around is small-minded. Most people are overly concerned with “beating the other guy,” usually through manipulation and politics. As a result, they’re left fighting for scraps with the other 99%.
+
Why Most People Will Remain in Mediocrity The Art of Improvement
th-cam.com/video/rH94x03Wl-M/w-d-xo.html Published on Aug 4, 2019
@@NeoJiNeTiK th-cam.com/video/uSwJuOPG4FI/w-d-xo.html
@@NeoJiNeTiK did you seriously just quote jordan peterson you fucking loser
Imagine existing in a world with no special plan, what a nightmare that must be
Gets better the more you listen to it.
It's so true, too. If you view consciousness as something separate from the reality that surrounds us (which it must be as we all have individual minds - we don't have a shared consciousness), then we are like pebbles in a current. We move, but only as the flow commands. We cannot have true wills, as all exercised will is merely an acting out of the flow that surrounds and moves us (the dominant life paradigm). Therefore, to the conscious mind, life is torture caused by frustrated independence.
Or it's your mind is what you make it, peace and love eternally.
Or maybe you should pack up your edgelord crap and go touch some grass.
@@VelhoTeste Sir, you are responding to a comment that was made a decade ago. Have _you_ nothing better to do?
@@OuroborosChoked ...HOLY SHIT YOU'RE STILL USING THIS ACCOUNT? I WAS BARELY A TEEN WHEN THIS COMMENT WAS MADE.
@@VelhoTeste 🤷♂ Thanks to Google buying TH-cam, they linked my TH-cam account to my Google account. I'm stuck with it.
“And so I began to envision a darkness that was long before the dark of night.” some reason that particular line struck me.
i find this album to be a good album to listen to while eating the brown pieces of lucky charms
play it twice simultaneously from different starting points to unlock the most specialest plan
Fr?
god i love vague writing so much. there so much you can do with peoples imagination and mess with they're interpretations differently. not to mention it has inspired me to wanting to practice such craft
Familiar with Nature Unveiled in my youth. In my
40s I semi retired from an allied health job and began dj'ing at the local backroom gay bar. Met a beautiful younger guy. Ryan. I always remember you. He turned me on to this. Lights out. 3am. On weed , scotch and Cuban coffee. Thank you Ryan.
I want to make music such as this. Its beautiful and terrifying with its poetic lyrics and droning insturmental. It's full of cynical despair and its utterly inspiring.
You’re not the only one
The art makes me feel uneasy and scared the more i stare at it especially at night
I felt like that near the end.
me too, xxmaokittycat2009 xx
I had to sleep with my light on for a little while after listening to this before bed.
It looks like it’s moving and it’s freaking me out
he's talking about life being more than just food, air, and other physical needs. but rather life being to itself a deeper purpose that goes far beyond the five senses. a meaning that speaks softly to a person by means of the conscience.
Listened to this while taking a nap, what an experience!
How insects stare at you when you hit them with that dollar store bug spray
😂😂
EATEOT got me into weird, obscure, “atmospheric,” “artsy” tracks and albums like this.
I am obsessed.
Any recommendations? I'm also listening to as much of this stuff as I can right now.
@@artemlyubchenko3022same
If you have found something vaguely similar, recommend
Up@@artemlyubchenko3022
I feel as though someone is watching me now. I feel chilly. I'm cold. My skin can't protect me; my eyes are pushed too far into my head. I feel like nothing I ever say again will matter. I think I might never even speak again. I'm sad. I'm powerful. I'm peaceful. I'm longing. I'm crying. Shivering. Depersonalized.
Yo straight up the beat is fire fam
Dis shyt got me lit nigga, finna ask my shawty to twerk to it
Read some Ligotti, especially 'The conspiracy against the human race' , then you might understand that this more existantial horror or even revulsion of existance rather than a little creepy story.
I mean the existential horror still comes across here, especially the puppet master bit and the bit where he refers to people as "brainless mirrors".
@Jack Redelfs That's a bit harsh. He may not be a formal philosopher but he's still easier to understand than Ray Brassier and friendlier than Gary Inmendham.
@Jack Redelfs "we should commit suicide"
This is literally wrong and I know that you know that you're wrong because you follow with "as a species" but it's still a gross oversimplification.
"The existence of these adrenaline seekers seems to also speak against the basic premises of anti-natalism."
It simply doesn't. Anti-natalism and knowledge of impending death aren't interchangeable.
@Jack Redelfs
I agree that knowing the human primates, anti-natalism is a rather ludicrous and unrealistic position, but whatever your coping mechanisms are, fact is through time and entropy life leads to death as an indivdual and as a species too.
As Imendham argues, the negative utility of life as a whole is hard to refute.
antinatalism is for weak cunts with no willpower to end their own life, so they project their own weakness onto the whole of humanity. mortality and humanity is the best thing to happen to 'reality'. fuck ligotti, read nietzsche.
Every time you listen to this it goes deeper and deeper into your skull.
Certified Hood Classic
Its been a few years since I listened to this album/song/whatever it could be called. and I just noticed a detail that I'm almost certain has been overlooked by anyone who has listened to this song . in the beginning monologue before the rest of the song whilst David is reading the poem if you listen extremely closely (maybe with high volume because its extremely faint), you can make out an extremely faint whisper that follows along with what he is saying. now it could just be my ears playing tricks on me or a audio artifact but whether its intentional or not it seems like the whisper is that of the of the mental health condition that the writer has manifesting itself in the song itself. before it comes out in its entirety when the same monologue is repeated at the end but with heavy distortion.
Again, my ears could be playing tricks on me but it just seems too perfect of a coincidence to not be intentional and it just makes me appreciate this song more.
What was the mental health condition?
beautiful rendition, gorgeous meaningful lyrics
Just happen to stumble upon this... I was about to skip, but set it to 5 min in.... Now staying till the end.
Hardest thing I've ever had to buy on vinyl, but I did it.
HOW
I found it on discogs couple of years ago. heavy expensive but I never regretted it
6:16 "There are no memes for escaping this world"
Thank you krypts
deep
Love Current 93 and Thomas Ligotti.
The special plan is the end of all conscious life, because it was a mistake, it is not alright.
Yes.