ไม่สามารถเล่นวิดีโอนี้
ขออภัยในความไม่สะดวก
When to Have a Child Removed from Your Home as a Foster Parent • Florida Grown Adventure
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 ส.ค. 2024
- Today I am going to be talking about one of the most difficult decisions that I have ever had to make as a foster parent and after talking with some other foster parents, I realized that I am not alone in this experience.
I did not create this video to scare you out of becoming a foster parent. I want to restate that the child removed was not a bad person just required more care and attention than I could give. I created this video for foster parents that are trying to decide if they need to make this decision as well.
This is something that I have never seen talked about but I am hoping to provide a little comfort to foster parents going through a similar situation.
As I mentioned in the video, any hurtful or hateful comments will be removed. You should not speak "advice" or opinions into a situation that you have never been involved in. As a community, we should be building one another up and not tearing each other down.
Good luck to those of you on your foster care journey!
•LINKS & RESOURCES•
-Department of Children & Families in Florida (DCF): www.myflfamili...
-FIND YOUR LOCAL AGENCY IN FLORIDA: www.myflfamili...
-Local Florida Agency Links: www.myflfamili...
-AdoptUSKids: adoptuskids.org/
•OTHER FAV FOSTER CARE/ADOPTION STUFF•
ReMoved Short Film: • ReMoved
Real Moms Podcast: www.realmompod...
The Honestly Adoption Podcast: honestlyadoptio...
Dignity & Worth: Seeing the Image of God in Foster Adoption: amzn.to/2K2xRqV
Love Mother Blog: / @faithfulmothers
This Gathered Nest TH-cam Channel: / branifffamily
Phill Our Home TH-cam: / @phillourhome
•••
Blog: www.floridagro...
Etsy Print Store: www.etsy.com/s...
Instagram: / floridagrownadventure
Poshmark: poshmark.com/c...
Email: floridagrownadventure@gmail.com
Logix Baits 15% Discount Code: FishSLS15 (use this code to get a discount on new fishing bait & help support my brother-in-law!)
•••
Hey guys! My name is Kaitlyn and thanks for stopping by my channel! I’m married to my high school sweetheart, Chris, and we have a beautiful daughter, Addison. We’re also foster parents in our state! I created this channel mostly for myself so that I could look back on my home, garden, and family to reminisce.
All your comments & views are much appreciated! Feel free to add me on Instagram to connect with me there.
•••
Shopping from the Amazon Affiliate links in the description supports this channel with a small commission without any additional cost to you! So thank you for using these links!
#fostercare #fosterparent #fostertoadopt #growyourfamily #floridagrownadventure
![เหนื่อยหน่อยนะ (SOMEONE LIKE ME) - GEMINI Prod. by URBOYTJ [ OFFICIAL MV ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/M55XjfhbrNw/mqdefault.jpg)
So heartbreaking, these kids didn’t ask to be born and they spend their life jumping around with no true home. I pray for these kids
Kids have been through some tough stuff and they learn coping skills and unhealthy/ unsafe behaviors. It's tough as a resource parent to come to this conclusion and to have to make the call. Thank you for bravely sharing this story, it's important to make sure everyone is safe.
Of course. I always encourage people that foster parenting is a worthy and important role but it’s only most effective if the family is safe and healthy. Decisions like this are hard and people don’t like to talk about it but they are choices that are made that are hard to process, so it’s nice knowing you’re not alone.
I'm a social worker who works with foster children and who has had to pick up children after emergency removals. It happens and it's not an easy decision. As you said, the number one consideration is safety--especially of your children. Foster children deal with a great deal of trauma and it manifests itself in so many different behaviors, some of which may be harmful to you or your children. The last thing you want is for your children to suffer because of the work you do, or even for you to suffer.
I remember one specific child I dropped off at a foster home. He had been there before for a few months and had been removed at the foster parents' request, and after a couple weeks they had second guessed their decision. Meanwhile, he had been in a couple short-term placements. They decided to bring him back, and while I did the paperwork with the foster mother, the father had a discussion with him establishing ground rules. I could hear it getting a little tense, but it was still reasonably respectful.
After I finished with the paperwork, I went out to my car and drove away. Within about three minutes, my phone rang. I needed to come back and pick up the youth. The mother was having chest pains, and the father and the child were yelling at each other. As I drove away with the youth, he started crying. "Why do I keep doing this?", he asked. He acknowledged that it was his behavior that caused him to blow out of that placement before and this time, as well as several others. I really felt for the kid, but I also knew from working with him over the years that he was difficult to work with. For one, he was one of the only kids who has ever tried to throw a punch at me, a 250-pound man (he was 12 at the time). And if he took a swing at me, I can pretty much guarantee he took swings at foster parents and their children.
He ended up having to be placed in a therapeutic treatment program for mental health. As long as he kept bouncing from foster home to foster home, he continued to struggle and foster parents did as well, some of them deciding never to foster again after working with him.
I saw him again when he was 15. He recognized me immediately (I didn't recognize him at first). He said he was doing far better now, that while he didn't like the idea of being in a treatment setting at the time, it gave him the help had needed.
I think teens are probably the hardest age group I remember when i was a teenager my poor parents. I have a lot of respect for you and fosters taking in teens. I dont have kids im 50 and not married and I have thought about fostering for now its not an option as im taking care of my mother but I just wanted to say how much I enjoy your videos
Thanks for your video.
I am glad you posted this. My husband and I had to have our foster son removed for safety concerns. There is no consolation. I miss him so much, and my heart is so broken having to move him. He will always be my son, and I will advocate for him for the rest of his life. He was with us for 2.5 years, and had every type of therapy we could and DCFS could provide. Attachment disorder and Reactive Attachment Disorder is just so hard to live with for the child and the family. What he went through and stuggles with is not his fault. Unfortunately, when he grew to a size we could not keep him safe, or ourselves, he needed more help then we could give him. Having a child removed is a gut wrenching decision that shows how broken our society has become. Our son was so hurt by more than one family that raised him in the early years that he could not function well in a family without chaos and abuse. God has a plan for him and for the young lady who was in your care.
I completely agree. The reality is that there is nothing shameful about admitting that your child needs more care than the your personal scope allows. Some people and children DO need residential treatment. It is not a failure to advocate for a higher level of care. A lot of people have a very narrow view of this topic. We love the children that come into our homes. God sees that and everything truly happens for a reason.
I think this is an important video and will help someone out there who needs it. I think most people doing foster care want to help and love children and I imagine would feel torn about a removal. I am with you, I would spend a lot of time in prayer, I don't know what people that don't have that help would do...
Lottie Faith yes I don’t know how other people do it... I would be so lost.
I was in a situation as a young person that I didn't feel safe in my home due to violent outbursts and always being on eggshells. I felt better when I left but feared for my mother's safety when I was gone. It does leave you with trauma, I hope that Addison gets help if she needs it. The world needs more people who care so much about the worlds children, it's hard to believe that others would tell you you didn't try hard enough...it sounds like such a draining situation to be in and you can't give what you don't have
vickie mccracken thank you so much for your kind words! & yes, Addison I’d doing so much better and we have gotten everything back into a healthy balance.
Everything your describing is what I dealt with a 10 year old in my home. Constant lying and stealing and searching for sex with men (not boys).
Tons of counselling and her counsellor said they can’t do it anymore because it’s above her speciality and she needs someone who specializes in this specific trauma and mental health issues.
All of these things I could have handled but not the safety with my other kids.
Sigh. I received SO much hate for this decision from her family and the workers and it’s horrible. We do everything we can and we shouldn’t be made to feel like we should sacrifice ourselves and our other kids for this one when we can’t. I remember not feeling safe when sleeping either and when she left it felt like I had the hugest weight off my shoulders.
I can relate to your video so much. Thank you for being real and being brave enough to put this out there. it can be such a Guilt trip when people say you cause more trauma with each move. You can’t help everybody… Our foster daughter needs to be removed for similar reasons.
Thanks so much for the info. I’m in central Florida as well. My heart has been drawn to foster since I was a kid. My aunts and cousins have all been fosters for my whole life, so I am very familiar with it. Hoping that I can start this journey soon. God bless you! Thanks again for the info and encouragement ❤️
jacquin Morton you can do! I have another video breaking down the Florida system and who to contact depending on your county. Good luck!
We just had to have a 14 year old removed from our home. It is exactly like you describe - the whole house was falling apart and we were not helping. I was stunned by DHS response or lack of response - 17 phone calls and no answer. I had to take the child to the ER and they found 47 lacerations on her body from self harm. Even then, DHS acted stunned that we demanded the removal. I explained that self harm was one step away from harming the other children in the household. I told them I would find that child in the nursery with two toddlers at 3 in the morning and when I asked what was going on I got the response, "Are you afraid of what I could do while you are asleep?" I'm also 7 months pregnant and the child joked about throwing the newborn like a football to shut them up if they annoyed them. I honestly feel like my husband and I are traumatized by the child and then to be guilted for others who don't foster or by DHS who begrudges us for making the removal call . . . all I've done for the last three days since the removal is wake up in a panic and then start crying.
Thank you for sharing... I’m going through a removal now with my two fs because they are being violent to my adopted 1 yr old. People don’t know what goes on 24/7 the children see therapists 5 days a week plus 2 visits a week and I feel awful but I have to protect my baby from being choked (and yes they are always supervised). Sometimes not each foster child is a good fit and that’s OKAY! Bless you!
A baby 😳
That’s sad
I’m SO sorry! It’s definitely one of the most difficult decisions a person can make but safety should be at the top of the priority list and sometimes the right decisions are the most difficult.
Hi. Thanks for the video and the truth and information and for sharing. I have been thinking of being a foster parent and yes I am glad you did this video to wake me up and remind me of what I went through with my own kids even though I love being a parent and really believe that being a parent is the biggest and hardest responsibility people have. When you consider what is at stake. The kids future and society future and the expense it costs all of us in every way. Kids are our future and what else can I say but thanks. I am sure even though you had to let this one go it was the best so that other kids in the future can get your attention and education. And your own kids.
Yikes, I was considering fostering a teen but I will rethink that now. Thank you for the honest video!
Thank you so much. You have no idea how helpful you just became to me. God continue to bless you and your family. Happy holidays with Jesus on top 🥰
I feel you 💯You did the right thing for your family and did your best just like we did
I meant children acting like decent people.
You did all you could do. You truly did your best, but you can only take so much when your family is falling apart because of it. You were completely justified.
I do understand the importance of feeling safe in your home.
Did we have the same child. We also went through the exact same thing 😳 with the same age/sex/background/in-home circumstances.
There could be foster children who.behave like Dr ent people and no matter what, they are denied food, clothing, sundry items and the like. Some foster parents put the child down by saying their biological parents gave them up. Oneside of the mouth is be glad you have me; the other side of the mouth I do not want you either.
Do you still foster in Foster??
Im in foster care
I am so sorry that you're in that situation. The fact that you're living it every day is a testament to how strong you are. Keep pushing through!
VERY SAD PRAYERS TO U MISS
Please help I've requested for him to be removed but they haven't done nothing. I don't know what else I should do.
disregard my last comment on the other video! thank you for sharing
Chantal no problem! You’re welcome! 😊
I have a question for you can you. Messages me
*if i were the director of foster care services i would not allow you to be a foster parent. you're too sensitive to be told the reasons why.*
*and yes, i know the foster care system very well.*
Thanks for watching my video! I really appreciate the view!
@@FloridaGrownAdventure *you are much more suitable to be an advocate than a foster parent. but even at that, you've gotta develop some strength you just don't have right now. you're very young (i'm an old, old woman) but i definitely think if you look into advocacy you may discover it's something that fits much better for you.*