For a more upbeat video that shares my appreciation for project managers working in difficult conditions, try this! th-cam.com/video/-LNPt7dw6qA/w-d-xo.html
It happens to the best of us. Sometimes, when you bring to light someone's (higher up) dirty little secret, you never recover, even if you are vindicated, as you will never be trusted again and are secretly known as "damaged". The best you can do is acknowledge it, learn from it (if you can), and move on as fast as possible, as with any other toxic relationship. I have learned from experience that the executive level does NOT want to be surprised by bad news without the ability to try and rectify it or control it. And especially in a joint meeting. Never never do that again. It is better to cancel the meeting than make one of the ExCos look bad. That's what I learned.
Another excellent post. For an honorable person, rolling with the punches and going with the flow is a bitter pill to swallow in toxic environments where perceptions are valued more than facts. Your reference to feeling "Terror" when seeing your child's first scan and the implied feelings of impending doom and helplessness are sobering and relatable. Passing on the methods you used for coping with this sort of thing was great. Thank you. Good on you mate.
Oh no, that’s terrible! And such a shame. I hope you can see that others have faced this situation and navigated to safety - you have better days ahead. Just make yourself ready for the opportunity.
Hi Stuart, Thank you for sharing your story! In a sense it's a relief for me to know that I'm not alone in going through the same emotional rollercoaster during a part of my PM career. I do look back at that time and still experience the rawness of the feelings. But I did learn a lot from it, which was great for my career's progress. I appreciate your channel. Do keep up posting your great videos and the real PM life. All the best!
Thank you for sharing. I left my last job as a Project Manager because it was a toxic environment. Thankfully I was able to transition into a Program Manager role at an insurance company that is infinitely better in every way.
Hi Stuart, Glad you have recovered from your illnesses and I just wanted to say thank you for this. It's very clear from your video that this still holds raw for you, and even though it is a low point definitely made you take that rawness and move onwards and upwards and for that I commend you so much!! I am just starting out in my PM journey having served over 25 years in the Military and there was definitely areas that I previously worked that exhibit the same kind of toxic influences that you have encountered yourself. Unfortunately for me it came in the era of 'suck it up buttercup!' Now having moved past that area onto my new line of work I hope to traverse it as well as what you have and I look forward to the future. Mark
Thank you Mark, that’s really kind. I wish you the best of luck in your PM career and hope you get to avoid toxic environments in the future. Thanks again!
Thank you for sharing your story, Stuart! You said you didn't want to share it but I am glad you still did it. These are hard-hitting aspects of the PMO job. I too have faced some clients dumping the frustrations on PM solely and it can be soul-crushing. Your story was relatable and PMs on this channel will learn when to step away from such toxicity. Wishing you best in health and profession.
Thank you, that so kind. Sorry to hear you had some tough times too. I guess the consolation is that they normally make us stronger - but it’s horrible in the moment. Thanks again!
Thank you so much for this video. I found myself in a very similar situation and, in March of 2024, walked away from my job and Project Management without a backup plan. It was an awful experience and I still struggle every day with the anger and the pain. It's worse because my spouse still works at the organization so I am not able to make a clean break. I have some amazing accomplishments in my life and career but this experience has left me questioning everything I have ever done. What an awful feeling. I am so sorry you had to go through that, especially with a new baby. It warms my heart and gives me hope that you have been able to move past it. I sincerely thank you for the show of raw emotion and wish you and yours the best.
Thanks for sharing Stuart. I could see the pain in your eyes and I will say it was very courageous of you to share this dark side of a toxic work environment. Glad you were vindicated and it just goes to show that you are an awesome PM to have identified the health of the project and not cover it up. It’s sad that the director’s ego couldn’t bring him to apologize for the terrible word he used on you. Thanks for sharing once again I have learnt from this.
This has happened to me, so I call out from the start that I expect the project stakeholders to not agree with assurance reports (or interim insights as you shared); and that, while challenging the findings is encouraged, shooting the messenger is not acceptable in terms of good project governance. I use the analogy of the Columbia space shuttle disaster being the result of "the culture at NASA that had led to the foam problem and other safety issues being minimized over the years", as reported by the Columbia Accident Investigation Board. With the benefit of hindsight, apart from the presentation deck, what would you do differently? I guess that's for your coaching sessions ...
Thank you for such a candid video, I think you framed the situation perfectly with the statement: “There was no appetite at a senior level that the project was going to fail”. More than once in my career, I’ve been directed to ‘fix it’ when reporting on project delays/issues/costs, because the senior management didn't want (or know how) to support a project to be successful. Instead, they expect the PM to use a magic wand / Jedi mind control to magic the problems away. I also appreciate your recommendation of: “Be the best version of yourself”. This is without doubt one of the most powerful statements for someone to carry forward to be successful in their career. I think I need to print that out and mount it on the wall.
Thank you for sharing and the honesty you showed. Some places and projects can just break you but you got back up. Got to love green washing on projects
Thanks for sharing this Stuart, I am sure it will resonate with many people for years to come. I do hope for you by knowing how much you'll help other people in similar situations that there is another side or light at the end of the tunnel, that it will help everyone in those situations. I also believe that, by reflecting you gain a greater perspective on things.
My career is mostly comprised of happy stories (with the occasional period of fear and loathing), so please don’t let this tale put you off. It’s a great career if you find the right boss and the right team.
@@InfluentialPMO no I completely understand. iv come from the construction industry being on the tools as well as many other terrible jobs in the past that have broke me down more than once. im lucky to work at an amazing company and loving what i do, but its good to see others perspectives. side note, any chance you could do a video on the APM and APM charterships? thanks
Great advice at the end, very true as someone that had similar horrible experience and still struggling to go back to work despite several trainings, it affected all areas of my life and just stuck now. Thank you for sharing
It can take a long time to shake it off, very much like how a toxic romantic relationship can ruin the next relationship. The best I can say is that there are great companies and bosses out there, and I hope at the right time you get paired up with the right people and the right environment. Meanwhile, just rebuild your confidence with little successes. You can do it
Thank you so much for sharing. You're right about toxic workplaces, it will never improve, as soon as you work out that's what's going on, the only plan is to leave as gracefully as possible.
Fascinating story mate. I’ve also worked in a toxic culture of fear and it’s utterly brutal. Good you got through it and that you learnt you’re better than that.
Thanks so much for this video. I went through something similar and it's still hard to think about it today. So good to see that it happened to others too and that recovery is possible.
Thank you so much that you shared this story with us. I am very sorry that all this happened to you namely those times.. by this video you really help me!
Thank you for sharing, you are so relatable alot of people are going through these problems at work. I myself just been through similar last week and not looking forward to going to work next. I am only one month and new to project management and enjoying it but not the environment 🙃
Thank you for sharig the story. I can totally relate and understand. I have been following your videos and starting using templates you have mentioned and got imensed praise from all stakeholders. Please keep making such video and share your knowldoge.
Thank you so much for sharing something so painful. Unfortunately, that feeling you have will resonate with so many of us and sadly, we remember the worst bosses longer. I for one am glad you didn't give up though sorry you missed out on early years of your kiddo's life. Hope you recover from flu/covid soon and are back to your chipper self.
Thank you for your feedback, I am feeling a lot better now. I’ve been surprised at how much this story has resonated with others. A sad situation really.
I’m a PM, I’m six minutes in, and from the length of the story, I’ve been here before, we only have long stories when something has gone wrong, it’s unfortunate really, the job of PM is highly susceptible to scapegoating and you’re only as good as your organisation and leadership allows you to be
Thank you for sharing and i can see the pain you endured and i felt it wholeheartedly! I find listening to your videos helpful and keep up the good work! I wish you all the best and so glad you came out of that toxic situation even though yiu endured hard times! All i can say is Karma does come round!
I can totally relate to your story Stuart. And yes, you can only take too much kr@p before you get physically ill. bot at all healthy. Glad you've moved on from there. Money is never enough of a reason to stay in a stressful environment.
Thanks Andrew, I appreciate that. You’re right about how little it’s discussed - lots of people walking around with scars from experiences like this. Hope you’re well (and unscarred!)
Hi Sir, i really liked your honesty & i am happy to be informed the other side of Project Management. I am eager to learn new things in PM field. Do you offer any courses on practical aspects about PMO. I am working in one. So asking. Thanks
Thank you, I appreciate your message. I don’t currently offer any courses, but watch this space as I may create one later this year, and I’m setting up a mentorship program. Just as soon as I can!
Great post Stuart and such a tough time to go through. There should be a hazard warning sign for comments like ‘I’ve got your back’ and ‘Don’t worry, things have all changed now’.
I can see the pain in your face. I've just walked away from a to me a well paid job. Straight into unemployment. I mental health and family relationship with to much. I will say no mortgage helps.
For a more upbeat video that shares my appreciation for project managers working in difficult conditions, try this! th-cam.com/video/-LNPt7dw6qA/w-d-xo.html
It happens to the best of us. Sometimes, when you bring to light someone's (higher up) dirty little secret, you never recover, even if you are vindicated, as you will never be trusted again and are secretly known as "damaged".
The best you can do is acknowledge it, learn from it (if you can), and move on as fast as possible, as with any other toxic relationship.
I have learned from experience that the executive level does NOT want to be surprised by bad news without the ability to try and rectify it or control it. And especially in a joint meeting. Never never do that again. It is better to cancel the meeting than make one of the ExCos look bad. That's what I learned.
Another excellent post. For an honorable person, rolling with the punches and going with the flow is a bitter pill to swallow in toxic environments where perceptions are valued more than facts. Your reference to feeling "Terror" when seeing your child's first scan and the implied feelings of impending doom and helplessness are sobering and relatable. Passing on the methods you used for coping with this sort of thing was great. Thank you. Good on you mate.
Thank you Ken, it was tough to revisit those memories. More than I expected.
I hope it can be helpful to others.
I feel your Pain, I am living in constant terror of loosing my Job because of someones Ego...
Oh no, that’s terrible! And such a shame. I hope you can see that others have faced this situation and navigated to safety - you have better days ahead. Just make yourself ready for the opportunity.
Establish an Economic Escape Velocity
Hi Stuart,
Thank you for sharing your story!
In a sense it's a relief for me to know that I'm not alone in going through the same emotional rollercoaster during a part of my PM career.
I do look back at that time and still experience the rawness of the feelings. But I did learn a lot from it, which was great for my career's progress.
I appreciate your channel. Do keep up posting your great videos and the real PM life.
All the best!
Thank you for sharing. I left my last job as a Project Manager because it was a toxic environment. Thankfully I was able to transition into a Program Manager role at an insurance company that is infinitely better in every way.
Thank you for sharing. Toxic workplaces are hard to survive and can cause trauma that takes a long time to recover. Thanks for bravely sharing. ❤
Hi Stuart,
Glad you have recovered from your illnesses and I just wanted to say thank you for this. It's very clear from your video that this still holds raw for you, and even though it is a low point definitely made you take that rawness and move onwards and upwards and for that I commend you so much!!
I am just starting out in my PM journey having served over 25 years in the Military and there was definitely areas that I previously worked that exhibit the same kind of toxic influences that you have encountered yourself. Unfortunately for me it came in the era of 'suck it up buttercup!' Now having moved past that area onto my new line of work I hope to traverse it as well as what you have and I look forward to the future.
Mark
Thank you Mark, that’s really kind. I wish you the best of luck in your PM career and hope you get to avoid toxic environments in the future. Thanks again!
Thank you for sharing your story, Stuart! You said you didn't want to share it but I am glad you still did it. These are hard-hitting aspects of the PMO job. I too have faced some clients dumping the frustrations on PM solely and it can be soul-crushing. Your story was relatable and PMs on this channel will learn when to step away from such toxicity. Wishing you best in health and profession.
Thank you, that so kind. Sorry to hear you had some tough times too. I guess the consolation is that they normally make us stronger - but it’s horrible in the moment. Thanks again!
Thank you so much for this video. I found myself in a very similar situation and, in March of 2024, walked away from my job and Project Management without a backup plan. It was an awful experience and I still struggle every day with the anger and the pain. It's worse because my spouse still works at the organization so I am not able to make a clean break. I have some amazing accomplishments in my life and career but this experience has left me questioning everything I have ever done. What an awful feeling. I am so sorry you had to go through that, especially with a new baby. It warms my heart and gives me hope that you have been able to move past it. I sincerely thank you for the show of raw emotion and wish you and yours the best.
Thank you 🙏 it takes time, and can’t be rushed, but you’ll get past your experience just as I did. It’ll come, don’t worry 👍
Omg, this sounds like my story 5 years ago !!! So many lessons learnt from this insane experience.
Thank you for sharing that. We can all see how that still is painful to talk about. But in doing so you will have helped many others.
It's a tough story, well told. Well done!
Thanks mate. 👍
Thanks for sharing Stuart. I could see the pain in your eyes and I will say it was very courageous of you to share this dark side of a toxic work environment. Glad you were vindicated and it just goes to show that you are an awesome PM to have identified the health of the project and not cover it up. It’s sad that the director’s ego couldn’t bring him to apologize for the terrible word he used on you. Thanks for sharing once again I have learnt from this.
Thank you, that’s very kind of you. ☺️
This has happened to me, so I call out from the start that I expect the project stakeholders to not agree with assurance reports (or interim insights as you shared); and that, while challenging the findings is encouraged, shooting the messenger is not acceptable in terms of good project governance. I use the analogy of the Columbia space shuttle disaster being the result of "the culture at NASA that had led to the foam problem and other safety issues being minimized over the years", as reported by the Columbia Accident Investigation Board. With the benefit of hindsight, apart from the presentation deck, what would you do differently? I guess that's for your coaching sessions ...
One thing I've learned from the comments and the private messages I've received since publishing this video, this situation was far from unique 😣
Thank you for such a candid video, I think you framed the situation perfectly with the statement:
“There was no appetite at a senior level that the project was going to fail”.
More than once in my career, I’ve been directed to ‘fix it’ when reporting on project delays/issues/costs, because the senior management didn't want (or know how) to support a project to be successful. Instead, they expect the PM to use a magic wand / Jedi mind control to magic the problems away.
I also appreciate your recommendation of: “Be the best version of yourself”. This is without doubt one of the most powerful statements for someone to carry forward to be successful in their career.
I think I need to print that out and mount it on the wall.
Thank you for sharing and the honesty you showed. Some places and projects can just break you but you got back up. Got to love green washing on projects
Thanks for sharing this Stuart, I am sure it will resonate with many people for years to come. I do hope for you by knowing how much you'll help other people in similar situations that there is another side or light at the end of the tunnel, that it will help everyone in those situations.
I also believe that, by reflecting you gain a greater perspective on things.
Stuart, Thank you for telling your story! It was very moving and meaningful to hear it!
that you for sharing, as a young PM this is insightful
My career is mostly comprised of happy stories (with the occasional period of fear and loathing), so please don’t let this tale put you off. It’s a great career if you find the right boss and the right team.
@@InfluentialPMO no I completely understand. iv come from the construction industry being on the tools as well as many other terrible jobs in the past that have broke me down more than once. im lucky to work at an amazing company and loving what i do, but its good to see others perspectives. side note, any chance you could do a video on the APM and APM charterships? thanks
Great advice at the end, very true as someone that had similar horrible experience and still struggling to go back to work despite several trainings, it affected all areas of my life and just stuck now. Thank you for sharing
It can take a long time to shake it off, very much like how a toxic romantic relationship can ruin the next relationship. The best I can say is that there are great companies and bosses out there, and I hope at the right time you get paired up with the right people and the right environment. Meanwhile, just rebuild your confidence with little successes. You can do it
Thank you so much for sharing. You're right about toxic workplaces, it will never improve, as soon as you work out that's what's going on, the only plan is to leave as gracefully as possible.
So true!
Fascinating story mate. I’ve also worked in a toxic culture of fear and it’s utterly brutal. Good you got through it and that you learnt you’re better than that.
It’s better to be out of it, that’s for sure!
Thanks so much for this video. I went through something similar and it's still hard to think about it today. So good to see that it happened to others too and that recovery is possible.
Thank you so much that you shared this story with us. I am very sorry that all this happened to you namely those times.. by this video you really help me!
Thank you for sharing. You have saved my sanity. God bless you. I am moving on to greener pastures.
I’m glad to have been able to help! Good luck
Thank you for sharing, you are so relatable alot of people are going through these problems at work. I myself just been through similar last week and not looking forward to going to work next. I am only one month and new to project management and enjoying it but not the environment 🙃
Great video. Nice to know it can happen to anyone.
I had to listen to this twice…best video I’ve watched in 2023!
Oh thank you Mark, that’s such a nice thing to hear. Thank you!
Thank you for sharig the story. I can totally relate and understand.
I have been following your videos and starting using templates you have mentioned and got imensed praise from all stakeholders. Please keep making such video and share your knowldoge.
Hey, thank you - that’s so nice to hear. I’m glad the videos and templates are helping you. Keep going 👍
Thank you so much for sharing something so painful. Unfortunately, that feeling you have will resonate with so many of us and sadly, we remember the worst bosses longer. I for one am glad you didn't give up though sorry you missed out on early years of your kiddo's life. Hope you recover from flu/covid soon and are back to your chipper self.
Thank you for your feedback, I am feeling a lot better now. I’ve been surprised at how much this story has resonated with others. A sad situation really.
I’m a PM, I’m six minutes in, and from the length of the story, I’ve been here before, we only have long stories when something has gone wrong, it’s unfortunate really, the job of PM is highly susceptible to scapegoating and you’re only as good as your organisation and leadership allows you to be
Very true!
Hi Stuart
I wish you the best
God bless you
Thank you! Best wishes to you too.
Thank you for sharing and i can see the pain you endured and i felt it wholeheartedly! I find listening to your videos helpful and keep up the good work! I wish you all the best and so glad you came out of that toxic situation even though yiu endured hard times! All i can say is Karma does come round!
Thank you. I appreciate your kind message 😊
I can totally relate to your story Stuart. And yes, you can only take too much kr@p before you get physically ill. bot at all healthy. Glad you've moved on from there. Money is never enough of a reason to stay in a stressful environment.
You’re absolutely right 👍
Another excellent video Stuart - such a honest reflection on a world which more than often exists, and less that often discussed.
Thanks for sharing 🤝
Thanks Andrew, I appreciate that. You’re right about how little it’s discussed - lots of people walking around with scars from experiences like this. Hope you’re well (and unscarred!)
@@InfluentialPMO continually bruised, but your vids always help ;)
Hang in there!!
Thank you
Hi Sir, i really liked your honesty & i am happy to be informed the other side of Project Management. I am eager to learn new things in PM field. Do you offer any courses on practical aspects about PMO. I am working in one. So asking. Thanks
Thank you, I appreciate your message. I don’t currently offer any courses, but watch this space as I may create one later this year, and I’m setting up a mentorship program. Just as soon as I can!
@@InfluentialPMO thanks a lot
Google “P3O courses” - the foundation course might be beneficial to you 👍🏼
Great post Stuart and such a tough time to go through. There should be a hazard warning sign for comments like ‘I’ve got your back’ and ‘Don’t worry, things have all changed now’.
Thanks Graham. I love to the idea of the hazard warnings 😂
I can see the pain in your face. I've just walked away from a to me a well paid job. Straight into unemployment. I mental health and family relationship with to much. I will say no mortgage helps.
Thank you Martin. You have to put your health first, and be there for your family. No mortgage? Now you’re making me jealous!! 😉