A movie so BAD that Steven Seagal is the best thing in it | So Bad It's Good
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ก.ย. 2024
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We found it. I don't know how, but we found it. There is a movie that is so bad, that Steven Seagal actually elevates it. He is the best thing in Ticker. Let that sink in.
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GREAT Sunday treat from the best reviewers on the internet shielding us from the worst thing in the *History* of Hollywood! And the close-ups being on another set isn't impossible.. He is that lazy and worthless.
The greatest bad\GOOD Jamie Presley has been in is TORQUE a motorbike movie with a Y2K a jet turbine bike that can go over 200 mph taking 90 degree corners all with a Harley Davidson keeping up with it and the girl fight on motorbikes is chef's kiss to cinema
My hairline starts to recede and I think I'd rather be bald than wear this piece of crap Seagal calls hair.
Congrats on over 100k Jason well deserved to all u guys. I discovered you when u were at about 7k so it's cool to see u growing, hopefully much more keep up the content
Still a better Dennis Hopper movie than Super Mario 1993 but this don't say much.
'stop licking your lips'. He can't. Someone's cooking within a 5 mile radius.
Goddamn 🤣
He's like a shark: he can detect a single whiff of grease within a 5 mile radius.
To be fair, I have a similar problem when my neighbors barbecue.
Someone has Arby's in front of him.
😂🤣😂🤣
3 talents like Dennis Hopper, Jamie Presley & Tom Sizemore phoning it in to the point they make Seagal look good is something else.
Unbelievable, right?
@@JasonBrant Can't beleive this & Exit Wounds was the same year.
Also this might explain why it was such a mess.
"Albert Pyun hated this film and has publicly apologized for it several times. He stated that Nu Image suddenly cut off his funds half way through shooting before taking it from him and splicing it with archive footage from other Nu Image films before releasing it. Pyun has since made an unofficial release of his drastically different director's cut."
I don't understand how Seagal got top billing in so many films. He's always the worst part of any movie he's in. In the 90s, he had a fan base, but that no longer existed by 2003 at the latest.
@@AliceBowie He's a name, His movies post Exit Wounds (IMO his last good movie) were pretty cheap and his name would bring in enough eyes to cover the cost.
Same with Van Damme & Stallone (From 1997 - 2006)
@@Jiren261I hate thinking of Stallone as being put in with those guys. At least Tulsa King has him being seen as a real actor again.
From what I have heard. This abomination of a film was shot in 12 days and Hopper never actually met Sizemore, Pressly or Seagal during filming, even though they share scenes together.
That's so wild. They shot a movie where most of the cast never met.
I think the Director skipped a few scenes as well!
From IMDb
Albert Pyun hated this film and has publicly apologized for it several times. He stated that Nu Image suddenly cut off his funds half way through shooting before taking it from him and splicing it with archive footage from other Nu Image films before releasing it. Pyun has since made an unofficial release of his drastically different director's cut.
I have that cut. Its still crap
I think some scenes were from other productions. There were at least 4 different eras of police cars, some from the 70s. In fact, I'm willing to bet every explosion scene was not from this production.
You know it's an early 2000s action movie when you have multiple rappers and singers acting in it.
Nowadays the rappers pay extra for exclusivity!
And at least one of the actors signing in it^^
I know why Ice-T asked not to be credited.
For real.
Exactly, DMX was an OK actor. But I'm sorry, for as awesome an artist as NAS is, he's definitely NOT an actor.
Speaking of Ice T a long time ago (early 2000s) when I was sick in the ER (happens a lot) I almost yelled at him because I thought he was a loud mentally ill patient harassing everyone by constantly repeating the phrase “Life in the ER is hard work…”. The voice annoyingly repeated the phrase at least 16 times. I then got out of my bed to use the bathroom, passed by the area & looked to find Ice freaking T trying to memorize his lines for a documentary tv show about difficult jobs for TLC!
I did an actual double take because I thought I was hallucinating! He and a film crew were there at the University of Chicago hospital ER making an episode about the stress of ER Docs. Annoying line repeating aside turns out he’s a really good and approachable dude and I inadvertently wound up in the doc episode. Still can’t find the episode online but I will always associate Ice-T with the phrase “Life in the ER is hard work”! Lol
I think it’s called ticker because Seagal has a face like he’s about to have a heart attack
haha!
He walks with an air of flatulence...
God dammit... I am such a damn child. "She's going to blow city hall" "She's going to WHAT?" made me laugh way to hard.
I've never wanted to be city hall more in my life.
-EVERYONE in.. i mean.. the entire city hall? 😅
-goddammit, get down there and stop her from blowing city hall!
Clinton was the president!
7:04 "This movie had a budget."
No, I'm starting to think that a different movie had a budget, and this one just bought the footage to use in this.
Haha, I think you're right.
Definitely. The police cars shown at roughly 29:40 went out of circulation in the mid to late 80s. Those shots came from something shot over a decade before this movie came out.
Jason, I'm a guitarist of 34 years and nobody has only ONE long finger nail to play guitar.
Yep. That would be for the cocaine
Maybe you need to play for longer to meet the secret cabal of thumbnail-picking guitarists.
im pretty sure i have seen long thumbnail for guitar players and looked up online and its one there...people do it
My guitar teacher was a trained classical guitarist and all his fingernails were long on his right hand. they have to be short, of course, for the left hand if you're right handed.
I’ve been meaning to say it for a while, but that Sifu Segal intro you created is an absolute home run. Well done.
Thanks! Dave with the pipes.
"In places it has a budget"
Definitely how I'd describe my apartment, not so sure that's the one you'd want your movie to be described as too.
😂
Nice 🤣
Quality comment 👏🤣
You got me imagining Stephen Seagal playing Tigger.
“ the thing about tiggers they’re wonderful things and they sever your brain”
I could see Tigger waddling around.
@@JasonBrant the wonderful thing about waddlers are waddlers are wonderful things
@@briancoulombe4517 and mumblers that mumblers are also wonderful things
@@JasonBrant Pooh-bearing
He bounces with an air of confidence rarely seen in this day and age.
Director: Steven, I want you to lick your lips in this scene.
Seagal: What's my motivation?
Director: Try to think about all your scenes from Under Siege 2 with adolescent Katherine Heigl.
Seagal licks his lips uncontrollably.
The older cop at HQ with glasses and gray hair was Joe Spano, who was in the cop show “Hill Street Blues” in the ‘80s. Also, the black bomb squad member was in “The 40 Year Old Virgin.”
Right on!Bomb squad member is Romany Malco.
@@drs2328 I can't believe that was him in his squad. He's come a looong way since this movie. Even more surprising that this is the 4th black person I've seen in a S. Segal film. 1st is DMX (Exit Wounds), 2nd Nas (this movie), 3rd Romany (also this movie) & Chilli (this movie as well lol).
The rapper(The Black Kid who gets killed early on) is Nas and the girl playing the junkie is Chili from TLC
12:10 hey, it's the guy who played Dorian (the baddie) in The Mask.
I could not place that guy!
Finally someone pointed it out!
Also played Zed “bring out the gimp”, in Pulp Fiction.
"Zed's dead, babe."
He has played a bunch of different slimeballs, but The Mask is always the first thing l think of when l see him.
I immediately misread the movie as "Tickler", which makes it disturbing with Seagal's facial expression.
Not sure I could bring myself to watch a Seagal movie called Tickler.
Now I want that movie.
I keep seeing Tickler lmao
Would he tickle the brain stem with sexy saxophone playing in the background?
Well, Tom Sizemore thought the same thing in that last scene....
Blues Band Guitar- Steven “Slowhand” Seagal is one of the funniest unnecessary, Breen esque film credits to read! Lmao!🤣
I think they pieced together like 4 movies to make this mess.😢😂
The fact you guys are so surprised by Seagal actually sharing a screen with another human says so much about current day Sifu!
"Albert Pyun hated this film and has publicly apologized for it several times. He stated that Nu Image suddenly cut off his funds half way through shooting before taking it from him and splicing it with archive footage from other Nu Image films before releasing it. Pyun has since made an unofficial release of his drastically different director's cut."
Now it makes sense..
Albert Pyun was awesome. He made really low budget films, but they look good, and are fun to watch. Everyone who worked with him loved him, and he was great to fans, as well. He apparently had a great attitude and was fun to work with.
Always good to hear some of these guys are cool.
Man was a master of low-budget flicks. I remember having fun while watching his poor man's battle royale called Mean Guns)
No lie, he was slated to make a Spiderman movie in the 80s when New Line had the rights to Marvel movies,that they picked up for almost nothing because Marvel was going bankrupt and was selling rights off to anybody that'd give them 10 bucks lol
@@samspurgeon4222ugh, I wish that got made. He really made a little money go a long way, he didn't really sacrifice good effects and costumes like other budget film directors. Some of Pyun's films look bad, but his best work is really fun and looks good for the budget. He wasn't cynical like a lot of budget guys who just are in it for the money; Pyun tried to make movies people would actually enjoy.
@@AliceBowie true..., it's always been funny to me how directors who could deliver decent films on shoestring budgets are never given a chance, but you get the same slow motion explosions, lens flares, and incoherent stories from people like Michael Bay, Zack Snyder, and JJ Abrams.....if Directors like Pyun, Romero, and even John Carpenter were given these huge budgets, I'm betting they could have really made film magic. Guess Hollywood is all in who you know and who's arse you're willing to kiss lol
The actor who you're trying figure out is Peter Greene, he was one of the mercenaries Seagal killed in Under Siege 2
The spread eagle thing is called an Australian Reppel or Angel Jumping. It's used in the military so the person can have hands free to shoot, if needed. Just a fun fact.
This was such a wake-up call for me when I rented this back in the day. I suppose I wasn't aware of the extent of Seagal's fall by the year 2000. Hopper had been in Speed six years earlier. Sizemore had been in a bunch of big movies through the 90s.
Lifted from an interview that appeared on an "unofficial" Seagal website (!), Pyun said himself that the budget was 600k (one would assume that's excluding salaries). While he said taking on the project was one of his worst decisions (it was made in 10 days), everyone tried hard. Seagal worked 6 of the 10 days, Hopper was great in 1 day he worked and Sizemore was a pro.
He also highlighted that Seagal was on the cusp of dropping in to "the video bins" - "a tough drop for any actor, but more so to someone like Steven who has been dogged by insecurities." He was set to make another movie with Seagal (set in fifteenth century China - OMG that would have been amazing) but then "Exit Wounds" came out and Seagal thought himself to be a movie star again.
D.O.B. Devices Over Baghdad is my favourite OutKast song
“I think this movie might be a piece of shit Brian?” Lmao 🤣
And Ice T as the mercenary on the rooftop when he was doing that weird indie movie run from the late 90s into the 2000s
How was Dennis Hopper better in the 90s Mario movie than he was in this? Absolutely astounding 😵💫😂
Seagal is licking his lips because he sees the buffet table offset
Dennis Hopper was great in The Bus that Wouldn't Slow Down.
Haha!
The helicopter in the wide shots is a completely different make and model to the parascending shots. The "Action" shots are a Bell 222 or a 407, AKA Airwolf
These videos are my go to to help wind down after a long day during the work week. Thanks for all the laughs!!
Hope you dig this one!
@@JasonBrantI dig every Seagal episode, for better or for worse(but more for worse)😊
Steven Seagull on a Sunday!!! 😂 Keeping the country safe by training all SFs and making movies while being a Black Ops contractor/trainer. Why does he waddle? He carries the world on his shoulders!!!
Haha, I love that.
This budget was millions and millions.
Wiki says 600 grand, I believe that.
Those liquids were really getting ready to mix when Tom had his fingers in there.
At 9:36 the hostage is a doll lmao
Blues Band Guitar is credited as Steven Slowhand Seagal. He must call himself that when he holds a guitar. 😆
4:35 You're telling me that a helicopter can fly that close to a house, and no one figures out that they're coming in. I'm shocked shingles didn't start flying off the roof it was so close.
Good shingles nailed down properly!
"Wait, you can fly a helicopter that close without killing anyone?" John Landis shouts incredulously
Steven once visited a famous buffet joint. Nowadays it's just called a joint.
7:58 That's Chilli from TLC... they sang Waterfalls and No Scrubs.
No shit? Obviously, I wouldn't recognize any of them.
Not missing anything in all honesty as those songs are terrible, think if seagull had the power of any man and shrunk down and hopped into your ear and started singing falsetto lol.
I remember their music, but to see them I don't recognize them.
@@JasonBrant She was born in my home town.
9:53 Nas also appears in the movie
That green screen in the car was something special lol
Ticker Trivia: Steven Seagal filmed his scenes in 6 days. The entire movie was filmed in 12 days. All the expensive action footage is from other movies.
23:55 yes, giant woman filled cake is my favorite as well.
The other cop, Peter Greene, was the bad guy in The Mask, Redfoot in The Usual Suspects, and Zed in Pulp Fiction.
Also Ice-T was a helluva Albert Pyun mainstay in the late 90s/early 00s era during his "I'm putting rappers in my movies" phase lol. R.I.P. to Albert Pyun.
Lol so many actors, comedians and hip-hop artists yall didn't recognize 😂😂
From the name Ticker, I naturally assumed this movie would be about Steven Seagal's battle to stop, and failure to avoid, an inevitable heart attack.
You know you're witnessing greatness when Sifu is the "best" part of the movie!
Not one explosion or action scene was filmed for this movie. It’s all footage from like 14 other films.
The duechbag guy was also in Seagals Under Siege 2 who calls the porter "Mr Big balls".
Hilarious reaction to a truly terrible movie.
BTW I noticed nobody got kicked into a cardboard box in Last Kumite that is unforgivable 😂 😂
I requested a cardboard boxes stunt, but they wouldn't do it 🤷♂️
If it is the same douchebag guy we are thinking of, then he was also Zed in Pulp Fiction.
Probably most people remember him from either Pulp Fiction (he's Zed as in "Zed is dead") and The Usual Suspects (he plays Redfoot the diamond fence). Yeah, he plays these kinds of characters really well.
He is also the main bad guy in The Mask.
@@JoshuaBarrio yeah I forgot about that nice one 👍
You know Sifu walked on set everyday and said, "What up, My Tickers? Me wan da poonani!".😂🤣
That's Peter Greene with Tom Sizemore. Played Redfoot in The Usual Suspects
He's one of my favorite "Hey it's that guy" actors
- The Mask
- Usual Suspects
- Pulp Fiction
- Under Siege 2
The Usual Suspects and Pulp Fiction! That's where I knew him from. Kinda pissed at myself for not getting those.
@@JasonBrant He's also in another gem called 'Shadow Hours' with Peter Weller, Michael Dorn, Balthazar Getty, Rebecca Gayheart, and Brad Dourif. Not really SBIG material though. It's competently written and directed for the most part.
7am in Alaska, coffee and dabs ready to go, LET'S DO THIS!!!!
I saw this once. It hurt.
ON WIT DA FUN
It's shockingly bad.
I got some live rosin and three strains of some top shelf.
... It's too early to drink 🍻
@@samholdsworth420Same, it's like 11:30 am so too early to get sloshed.
There's like a 3/4 rosé and 9 or ten poppers in my fridge for later, though!
@@AnikMonette lol have fun 😊
8:08 that’s Chilly from the 90’s R&B group TLC. In the same scene with Nas. Some 90’s Hiphop star power there 😊
Funny how you confused Nas with some other dude when Nas’s character was already dead 😆
They also had a pretty decent early 2000s revival too. A lot of their better known, more main stream songs are from then.
@@victoriashevlin8587yeah, I know. TLC are my all time favorite R&B group (RIP Left Eye)
Yep the young woman was Rozonda ‘Chilli’ Thomas
The guy you couldn't place with the earring was also the bad guy in The Mask with Jim Carrey, and he said, "Bring out the gimp" in Pulp Fiction.
Albert Pyun also directed The Crow.
The drug addict sister that was supposed to be in rehab looked, to me at least, like Chilli from TLC.
I noticed that they used two different helicopters in the beginning lol. One looked like a Airbus H125 and the one they repelled from was a Bell 407.
I didn't notice that, but it's not surprising. This movie is a shitshow 🤣
It's all footage taken from other movies. Cheapo filmmaking 101. Don't shoot what you can just buy.
@@refinedsugar I was gonna say "reshoots" but there is no way they would spend money on that lol.
23:12 - Jeeesus. That guy was like 1 meter off the ground before the bomb went off.
IMDb says the budget was 7 million and grossed less then 400k this movie might have been the one that sent Steve to the bargain bin
Wikipedia says the budget was $600,000. I wonder if the original cost of all the stock footage this movie purchased is where the $7million figure comes from.
Albert Pyun states that Toocker was a financial success. It was in theaters in Japan and was a top 5 movie
Tom Sizemore thought he was in a reboot of Speed and supplied everyone with speed
"Just let your *SOOOOOOUUUUUULLLL GLOW BABY!!* Feelin' oh so silky smooth!" (Soul Glow does *not* endorse Segal.)
I need to rock some Soul Glo.
@@JasonBrant You do!!
pretty sure the girl is Chilli from TLC..also..usually a Coke nail is a pinky finger
Brian with some gems in this one!
"Only body count I like is the off screen body count" and "Digging around with two fingers and I still can't find it"
(Or something like that!)
The guy they thought was Nas is actually the guy in The 40 Year Old Virgin. Romany Malco is his name i believe.
Yup
And dude looks the same
Just digging knuckles deep into that device. 😆
Albert Pyoun hated this movie -the producers ripped the movie out of his hands and turned it into what it is.
And I'm so happy they did. The rare Seagal that is entertaining.
Yeah because Albert Pyun movies are usually great anyways lol
@@refinedsugar He actually made a quite competent movie called "Postmortem" with Charlie Sheen" back in 1998.
@@Hykje I've seen it. Competent might as well be another word for average. It only stands out because it's not complete junk.
At 7:45, that is the legendary rapper Nas pronounced (N•AH•S) and the girl dancing is "Chili" from the 90s R&B group TLC.
I’m gonna share something kind of personal. The cake scene and under siege was the first time I ever saw boobs. I mainly remember seeing them and my dad screaming at me to get out of the room.
this was close to my experience with Phoebe Cates in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Needless to say, I now have a strong aversion to swimming pools
I laughed, I cried, I waddled, I got drunk off my arse. %100 SBIG!
Wow when u make Sifu Seagal look good you done fu**ed up lol 😂😂
Right?
My neck still hurts from that IMMEDIATE stop of the green screen
12:05 That's Peter Greene... Zed from Pulp Fiction... "Zed's Dead".
That's where I knew him!
@@JasonBrant I knew where he was from immediately... had to look up his name though.
Casting director: Bring me EVERYBODY! (very silently: ...affordable)
@JasonBrant Another great episode of absolute crap guys. I'm as big a music freak as you are a movie freak and I can tell you the band scene had freaking Billy Preston on keyboards! 😳 Who's he? Only the guy who plays keyboards on The Beatles' last album!!!! Wow! The only credited person to ever play on a Beatles' record is in a Seagal movie! Wtf??? Keep up the good/bad work guys ❤✌️
33:57 You and Brian giggling like little school boys watching Skinamax behind your parents back had me dying laughing.😂😂😂😂
At 5:47, tell me they did not CGI a scar on the bartenders face, LMAO!!!
The bomb squad guy at @11:33 is Kevin Gage, who a few years later would appear with Tom Sizemore again, as Waingro in 'Heat'
When Segal, of all people, comes across as the most competent person in a film, you know you have one god awful movie on your hands.
The g-spot joke was 'chef's kiss'
I feel like Bryan's been stepping his game up lately with some quality jokes.
The guy Tom Sizemore hit starred in the Mask, and Pulp Fiction in the bandage scene with Ving Rhames and Bruce Willis.
Not-so-fun fact: a large chunk of the film, including all of the explosions, consists of stock footage from other Nu Image productions.
The only way the disparity between budget and end product makes any sense is if they'd set aside 80% of the film's budget for a massive coke binge, and THEN started running numbers for the actual movie.
The budget was a meager 600 000 dollars... I don't know why Jason assumed it was millions
oh geez im 8 hours late... my gf graduated and i went to her ceremony... plus mom is in town so we went to dinner. but im here now!!
My fav Peter Greene role was Redfoot in Usual Suspects.
First Space Ice and now Jason? Oh boy!
This movie came out in 2001 the same year when sifu Seagal lost some weight for Exit Wounds.
3:35 Now we need to convince someone to pay Seagal enough to star as Winnie The Pooh in a live action adaptation. A low budget, gritty action film about street criminals who stole the honey from the wrong overweight, aikidoka Pooh Bear. We could call it, "Winnie the Pooh in the Hundred Acre 'Hood"
Yeaah about that budget thing... All the explosions and action set pieces were stock footage from other Nu Image movies. Some of them are pretty awesome movies, though.
Pyun recorded a commentary track for this movie which was deleted that trashed the production company for slashing the budget in half right before filming. That might explain a lot.
The newsom part had me cracking 😂😂😂
RIP Tom. You got clean only to get the role on Saving Private Ryan and then to perish. You are missed.
"That guy" is Peter Greene and he's been in another Seagal flick. You might remember him as the main villain in The Mask. He was also Zed in Pulp Fiction, he was a bit character in Under Siege II, was in The Usual Suspects, and he was also in Judgement Night.
@T.ELE.GRAMJasonBrant1 You're right that he is one of those guys that looks the part. He really does look the part of a greasy/slimeball type bad guy.
It's got Nas and Chilli. No reason at all. Lol.
9:47. NOOOOOOO!!!!!
"Radio!!!...... Don't Die on ME!!!! 😂
The beautiful blonde lady in this film is Jamie Pressly, which looks astonishingly similar to a young Margot Robbie. Also, the gorgeous color lady was one of the TLC singers, the punched guy at 21:18 is Peter Greene, played Dorian (the bad guy) in The Mask (1994). Also, the bomb squad guy at 23:11 is Kevin Gage, one of the criminals from the legendary film Heat (1995).
Between 7:57-8:00 I thought that was Chili from the group TLC, and I was right.
I yelled OMG THATS CHILI FROM TLC…My husband who is TLC? 😮😢😂
@@paralegalerika_s6389 That is awesome!!!! Definitely play No Scrubs for your husband and see if he says 'oh I've seen this '. But don't tell him why. Just see if he recognizes the video.
Somebody rewatched Speed and said I can do that but way WORSE! Lol Poor Dennis Hopper.
Love the way you worked Segal into the sentence.
@T.ELE.GRAMJasonBrant1 eh? Sure. :)