Scientist Tara Reid battles evil orphans | So Bad It's Good
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ก.ย. 2023
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After loving House of the Dead, we had to watch another Uwe Boll movie. Tara Reid plays a scientist, or curator or whatever, in Alone in the Dark. What more needs to be said?
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I interviewed UWE BOLL a few months ago. The man might surprise some of you: th-cam.com/video/wvGuMTaaHdk/w-d-xo.html
That Interview was really needed. Uwe Boll as much as there is not to like is definitely not the Person or Character the Internet made him out to be.
Of course Uwe Boll is also infamous here in Germany for Reasons regarding Movie Funding etc. but he is definitely not that "dumb worst director who beat up Critics who don't like his Movies." as you often see repeated in TH-cam Comment Sections.
He did in fact fight a Critic but that was consensual and the Critic knew what he was getting into.
Definitely recommend your Interview with him and hope more People see it!
Prost & Cheers from Berchtesgaden in the Bavarian Alps
Is 8:04 kitchen from Terminator 2
Thank you for this Review. Like Uwe Boll I'm from Germany 🇩🇪 Danke für das Video
He was extremely kind when we spoke.
@@andreanderson8639 yes i believe it is, just checked it, some minor changes but 99% the same
At 21:52, when Brian asked, ..what is the goal of the enemy? I immediately thought Conan:
"To crush your enemies. See them driven before you. And to hear the lamentations of their women."
🤣
"When you get a novel at the beginning, you know you're in for a good time."
I would expect that from the novelist.
🤣
He has endless pockets.
That's how it works in video games. Characters can have an arsenal of weapons at their disposal, nowhere to put them but they can still carry it all.
That, or exactly four pockets, each of which can hold exactly one object like a single pen or a rocket launcher.
Yea, I thought that was an intentional gag referring to how nonsensical video game inventories are. When Halo came out and you could only carry two guns, that was revolutionary at the time. Deus Ex also attempted “realistic” inventory but you could still carry a silly amount of stuff.
I believe that concept is referred to as a “hyperspace arsenal” over at the TV Tropes website.
Christian Slater: “I’m here to protect you from the things you don’t believe in.” That was a good line.
Slater's the boss👍
Same with Stephen Dorff
There were a few good lines in there, even if the delivery was often weird.
😂 But I don’t need protection from things I don’t believe in, cos I don’t believe in them....I’m fine dude. Thanks!
Christian Slater's character has a loft apartment. I think it's mandatory for every character from a late 90s early 2000s movie to have one. 😏
and it has to have an elevator with doors made from old wood pallets that needs to be pulled closed by hand.
I think back in those days it was cheaper to turn a warehouse into loft apartments. It was the rave back then but I don’t think most were up to code
… i bet you if you turn the lights out, the apartment glows
Always cracks me up.
Since at least The Crow
It's so bizarre that the original Alone in the Dark game was a lovecraftian horror set in a haunted mansion in early 1900's. They would make an AitD game set in modern times a few years after this movie came out, so Boll's creative choices for this movie are just astounding to me.
This movie is actually a loose (very loose) adaption of the 4th aitd game that came out in 2001. That game updates to modern times and has Carnby running around in a brown trench coat. It also has some Native American folklore and a gate that needs to be kept shut as part of the story, and you can use light to your advantage in some scenarios. I think that’s it as far as similarities go.
I played the original game back in the day. It was not bad, but only a bit Lovecraftian.
@@vfxtutswithdan1893what was in the game in terms of Lovecraft creatures or bit of it?
Did the original game have mind-controlled, murderous orphans?
@@JasonBrant Ghosts, demons, monster of the black lagoon, giant wormhole of death, a litch, an enchanted armor and ghost pirate.... no orphans tho.
Tara Reid and Christian Slater together in a movie?!?? Winning combo! This movie had to have won so many awards!
😆🤣😆
it won all the oscars. even retroactively took them from every oscar winning movie of the past century cos it's just that good.
One of my all time 90'hero C. Slater (broken arrow, very bad things, robin hood..) ...let' s just say the actors deserved a better bad movie but fun movie to work with...this is painfull for everyone
Apparently, before Uwe Boll was added to the production, they wanted to make a serious low budget spooky film. Here's what the original script writer had to say:
"We tried to stick close to the H. P. Lovecraft style and the low-tech nature of the original game, always keeping the horror in the shadows so you never saw what was coming for them.
Thankfully Dr. Boll was able to hire his loyal team of hacks to crank out something much better than our crappy story and add in all sorts of terrifying horror movie essentials like opening gateways to alternate dimensions, bimbo blonde archaeologists, sex scenes, mad scientists, slimy dog monsters, special army forces designed to battle slimy CG dog monsters, Tara Reid, "Matrix" slow-motion gun battles, and car chases. Oh yeah, and a ten-minute opening back story scroll read aloud to the illiterate audience, the only people able to successfully miss all the negative reviews.
I mean hell, Boll knows that's where the real scares lie."
6:42
"We have not had boobs yet. In House of the Dead, I feel like we'd had like six pairs already..."
"...it was front-loaded!"
Well played, sir. Well played.
He nailed that one.
28:15 The DVD commentaries for Uwe Boll's movies are always gold. Here he's like "and so here is the creature's lair... or the portal to hell, or whatever it is."
Uwe Boll won't talk about Tara Reid yet, he talks about Tara Reid.
"That cab's been following us since we left the airport" is an especially funny line to anybody who's driven a cab before because you're almost always going to the same place from an airport (a nearby resort, tourist attraction, local show, etc.). You constantly see cabbies ahead and behind you and can usually entertain yourself making faces or obscene gestures at each other.
Tara Reid as a scientist is as believable as an "honest" politician.
She does look cute in glasses, but not convincing.
Still more realistic than her Sharknado movies
What about Denise Richards as a nuclear physicist?
She should play a scientist in every movie.
@@vfxtutswithdan1893Or Roger Moore as a killer spy?
Ironically enough, I actually majored in Orphan Studies at Nobody Wants Us University.
It’s weird seeing Dorf and Slater in the same movie. They were always the same person to me 😂
Steven Slater 😂
@@jasonslick9383also known as Christian Dorf
I'm a fan of them both. I've never thought of them as similar tho, Slater is amazing in the Heathers & other movies & Dorff has done some great films he's very much underrated
@@Forbes780 Deacon Frost
@@Akkatlah Yeah! Great in S.F.W. & that film he was in that Sofia Copolla Directed, i can't remember what it was called but Dorff's cool
Tara's science is the kind you are told to trust.... lol
Underrated comment
I don’t get it
@happyplace8452 lol, scientists do NOT trust sciene, they prove science. Trust is faith, science is not about faith. So anyone telling you to "trust the science " is pulling a con game on you. Science never requires trust, religion does. This is why ppl got upset during covid because they kept being told to TRUST THE SCIENCE. Any science that requires trust or faith is NOT science. Tara's science is not real science. It's fake Hollywood science, much like the science we where told to trust during covid. You will never hear actual scientists say trust their science, it just does not work that way.
So true, xister!
"once you make it down here alive, you are already dead" reminds me so much of another hilarious uwe boll quote:
"you created this all to be immortal. why?"
"to live forever!"
Uwe Boll's adaptation of Postal is gold. That's what you should check out for your next Boll flick. He was the perfect director to adapt the Postal game series to film.
I think you could pay Postal is in the same genre as Highway to Hell, or even pee wee's big adventure. Loose plot and just a ton of crazy scenes. Postal is probably one of his best movies, along with Rampage which is good, but it could be considered pro rampaging.
Oh gods, I LOVE Postal, I was laughing my a§§ off the entire time!!!! That movie is a diamond mine for laughs!!!
In the immortal words of Tara Reid, "It's not like it's ROCK SCIENCE!"
Christian Slater borrowed Batman’s utility belt.
7am in Alaska, coffee and dabs ready to go, LET'S DO THIS!!!
I actually saw this theatrically, I didn't know 😭😭😭😭😭😭
I bet that was an experience.
@@JasonBrantyou have a partial idea, lol, but I saw it on our local THX screen (remember THX?), the biggest screen in the state at the time, AND popcorn and soda. I paid way more than I ever wanted to, and I considered Boll's movies very carefully from then on, and I never saw one on the big screen ever again 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣only on dvd.
@@JasonBrantby the by, I LOVE the new icon for your channel, I about died laughing!
Uwe Boll should get an Oscar for "Best terrible director"...this guy has hit legendary status!
Thanks guys!
I'm loving his stuff so far!
lol... I so agree on that
He isn't a terrible director by any means.. There are literally a ton more terrible movies than his.
@@jamespetkwitz8737remember this, he’s known for boxing his critics
@@JasonBrant house of the dead part 2 review ? no shit that movie exists
I feel Erin's pain over that Star Trek: Next Generation episode "Conspiracy." I was seven when that episode aired and it messed with my head for months.
Another episode that gave me nightmares was "Schisms" where members of the crew were getting abducted and experimented on.
I need to watch these episodes.
Schisms was a pretty cool episode, I guess X-files was riding its peak in the early/mid 90's so the whole alien abduction thing was pretty big, but the TNG crew did alien abduction... IN SPAAAAACE! The scene where they're in the holodeck as they describe the room, chills!
When Toht saw that scene he was like "ewww...no".
Of all the episodes of TNG to watch it just happened to be Conspiracy. lol. Schisms was great too! I also liked Night Terrors because it had a existential horror vibe.
There is some method to the madness lol
The original Alone in the Dark game on MS DOS terrified me as a kid.
It was on DOS? Didn't realize it was that old.
@@JasonBrant yep I even googled to make sure I was remembering right and it came out in 92 and was on MS DOS
Carnby's profile claims that Christian Slater is 6'2" and 200 pounds. That is some bold lying right there. It also had both his date of birth and his current age, which is redundant. Loved the Tara Reid impressions, the many uses of the versatile word "Dorf," and how a Native American tribe left artifacts "around the world." Mighty Orphan Power Rangers was gold. Alone in the Dark wasn't just a survival horror game, but the very first survival horror game, as a PC game in 1992, at the dawn of PC gaming. It just got a remake this year with the sheriff from Stranger Things as Carnby. Bureau 713 shut down the doctor's project, but 713 itself was not shut down.
It would make sense that Jason is the most professional about the beer.
I pay attention to the important things.
There's nothing professional about IPAs.
@@kevinramsey417Somebody gets paid to make them. Professional.
It’s Dorphin time and might orphan power rangers had me howling. I new Jason would love this one and Erin would not. Another great episode! Enjoy the rest of your weekend
The orphan stuff was cracking me up.
They are looking for a gate, but we all know that Stephen Dorff already knows all about the gate, seeing as how that was the movie he first stared in.
8:59 10mm socket joke went over every non car guy's head.
Quick note : In the games reboot (2008), Carnby accesses his inventory via his Jacket pockets 🤣 it’s a strange design choice because when you go into the item screen the game literally shifts to him opening his jacket and you selecting an item.
I remember playing the demo a lot and thinking that was cool
Agent Paul Smecker, “ THERE WAS A FIRE FIGHT!!!!”
Guys. GUYS. I was excited for this movie when it came out. I didn't know who uwe boll was at the time. All I can say is "WOW", the disappointment was real lmao
Did you see it on the big screen?
I did.
@@megatronjenkins2473 oh my god, I'm so sorry. No I only rented it, because I never had the free time to watch anything on the big screen around that time. Guess I was lucky lol
Were you able to follow the story?
@@JasonBrant pfffft what story lol but seriously, no. It was only after watching this that I remembered his worm was dead. So how the hell did he do a backflip while lying on the ground? This movie is just insane 😂
Cheese does give you nightmares. Different cheeses give you different types of dreams.
The games were the peak of the horror/adventure/puzzle genre of their time 🤓😎 Memories ☺
I literally started watching this like a week ago and shut it off so I could watch it with anyone I could convince to sit/suffer through this with me....thanks for being there for me y'all perfect timing!
KIller timing.
If you're going to wear a full-length coat like that, your name better be MacLeod.
Best part of this movie is how during the sex scene, the song "7 Seconds" is playing.
20 orphans disappear, should we check the abandoned mine in the backyard? Nah.
after way more hype than it deserved, i saw this in the theater with a group of buddies. it's still a running joke to this day 🤣
Was this hyped? Been so long, I don't remember.
Brant, thanks for doing all of this. You bring much laughter at work.
Thanks!
"Back off. Im a scientist". Pure Gold!
No no no....not another video game movie by Uwe Boll....I'm gonna need TWO six packs for this heresy 😂
I love this title and yet no one is ever alone or in the dark lol 😂 Tara Reid as a scientist is the most believable part of this trash lol 😂😂
Tara Reid as a scientist will always make me laugh.
Love how they exactly didn't capture the dark forboding, alone and confused aspect of the video games.
Oh, I remember that one!
By the end of the movie I was rooting for the monsters - they barely had any chance.
The way you guys were not destroying it throughout made me think that it will get approval from all 3 of you guys. Damn.
I enjoy Uwe Boll's films. And recommend Rampage.
Rampage is way too competent a movie for this channel and in my opinion is Uwe Bolls best movie by far.
They don't like bad writing the way I do.
also postal. afaik the devs from rws were involved in the making.
I love this movie! Also, please, Howling 2! More Reb Brown for Halloween!
Yes, always more Reb Brown!!
I remember two things about Howling 2.
@@JasonBrant we all do!
The Replacement Killers set the record for most blanks fired.
Great Movie
The actor working on the generator also played a few roles on the Stargate shows. He was a main character in SG-u
You are genuinely one of the best finds of 2023. Ive binged so much of your content. Happy Holidays!
Excellent pick and you were all on point this episode. Great stuff.
15:31 They call those 'secretaries', Jason... :D
I think it'd be cool if you guys did Silent Hill: Revelations. It was the only movie that ever made me leave the theater genuinely angry. Lol
A Sound Of Thunder did that for me. Oh Ben Kingsley, why have you worn SO MANY TERRIBLE WIGS?!??!!?! That was one of my favorite stories growing up, and I was over the moon when I heard: movie! Then I paid to see it theatrically. I hated it for years, and now I think about it, I don't know if it's on dvd for a rewatch, I need to go look.
THREE MINUTES LATER
Found it. Time to see if 2X years has changed anything.
On the way back from Cologne to Munich from a business trip and enjoying your video. Thank you guys 😊
High school me really wanted this movie to be good because it had an accompanying "soundtrack" provided by metal label Nuclear Blast Records. And it featured a bunch of bands i loved at the time like Nightwish and Dimmu Borgir.
What band played that song featured during the shootout at Christian Slater’s home? I know of both those bands you mentioned, but I still don’t know who that particular artist was.
If Denise Richards can be a nuclear scientist, Tara has a place in science too!
"Lying sack of shit" Brian I will never tire of that.
I am looking forward to it. Your videos always cheer me up. I hope you guys are having a great weekend.
Thanks so much!
@@JasonBrant always my pleasure Jason. I’m still cross my fingers that you’ll show that shitty movie I sent you lol I’m hoping to have a special surprise ready and sent to you guys before Halloween.
Just for trivia, because you mentioned that you love the set that they used as the museum. That’s actually the aboriginal museum in Vancouver Stanley Park area. Are used to go there is a kid, Vancouver was my hometown.
I played the game back in 1993 on PC, it was a decent 3D game, probably the grandfather of resident evil games.
I can't unsee this American Pie actress. This movie is totally not alone in the dark inspired... the original story is just one character in a haunted mansion .
I think they tried to establish Tara Reid as smart but only by the glasses, but by having her share her first scene with that security guard who gave the impression that he normally wallows in his own filth.
but gave the guard the expository dialogue
@@SamnissArandeen When she opens her mouth the illusion of intelligence is shattered.
Jason...new logo...epic 💪💪
28:44
Teenage Mutant Ninja Orphans!
Teenage Mutant Ninja Orphans!
Teenage Mutant Ninja Orphans!
Heroes without parents!
Orphan power!
I was thinking “man zat is a pretty sweet duster you have on” when he was running from the taxi scene and I love that y’all confirmed it and then immediately ruined it
You're welcome🤣
I have heard rumors about this movie, but I thought it was just a legend.
Thank you for sparing us from that text scroll in the beginning.
It's dorphin time! I forgot this movie existed. Another fun episode as always.
Thanks!
Yes Jason, the trench coat is from the game Alone in the Dark New Nightmare. Edward Carnby is a paranormal researcher he also has long hair in the game. Tara Reid's character is a redhead in the game, a university professor that joins Carnby on a mission to an island.
12:00 "she got a little coke bloat going on" Lmao bro😂
Literally just watched Tara Reid in "The Big Lebowski" with my partner last night 👀
The timing tho 😅
I wonder if The Dude ever made it to the ATM.
@@JasonBrant 😂😂😂
Hey guys - here's one for you to watch, see which side of the apparently divided audience response you fall on: Shin Godzilla, 2016/17. A real Toho update of Godzilla with a real budget and SOME great CG - with so much footage of meetings you'll have to be reminded there are cool-ass Godzilla action scenes coming up.
The Space Ice fix up of this was pretty entertaining
Oh yes! About time we looked at this one 😎🥃👌
They were "shut down" but Uwe didn't want to pay for the quotation marks in the opening scroll...
Give me Bowl of Uwe! Awesome episode ... both the movie and episode get the stamp!
Thank you for another great video!
Thanks!
That security guard is like Chris Farley from Wayne's world :D
Shot in Vancouver, of course. The cool location with the indigenous artifacts is the University of British Columbia anthropology museum.
I love Tara Reid, she's not just some lady with glasses lol
This and the original Resident Evil are good memories for the old playstation 1.
Never mind. What the hell did I just watch?
Haha!
"She can be a librarian or just super smart " 😂😂 I died!!! Cause basically that means librarians are dumb lol
Fun fact. Uwe Boll's Vietnam movie Tunnel Rats has a tie-in video game made with the Unity engine with the same name.
This movie is MUCH funnier with the directors commentary track. Boll actually says "Tara Reid looks so intelligent with her glasses." At least she makes Denise Richards in The World Is Not Enough come across as slightly more credible, so ... yay?
0:29 Wow. Fine work quoting Uwe Boll there, Erin.
Ok, small correction just a couple minutes in: when the kid says that his mom claims cheese gives you nightmares, that’s not actually completely inaccurate. There really is a type of chemical (I think it might be called tyramine) found in some cheeses that can cause nightmares if you consume it before going to bed, apparently.
The guy who was making the generator was in aliens, Vasquez's friend with the SmartMinigunGun
I swear, Battlefield Earth, Barb Wire, now Alone in the Dark, you guys have been pulling off some heavy duty on Sundays lately!
You three are the gods of movie reviews on Mt. Olympus!❤❤❤
No, wait, I have an idea. Not Olympus, RUSHMORE. A lineup of the four of them, all doing the Barbarian Twins face.
@@unimpartialobserver AAAARRRRRRRRR! LOL 😁
Segal aspires to this level of quality!
Now you guys have got to watch the director's cut of Boll's first Dungeon Siege movie, In the Name of the King, starring Jason Statham.
Filmed in Vancouver, my home town! Easy to recognize many of the locations.
This is the movie they used for the Nightwish music video "I wish i had an angel"
I died laughing the moment I read "Scientist Tara Reid" that's all I needed to know to tell me this will be amazing!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Finnish metal band "Nightwish" made the end titles song "I wish I had an angel" and the music video featured footage from the film.
"Scientist Tara Reid" I died just reading that
Well, this months selections can only go up from here.
The dude from rampage as a can driver, taxi driver vibes anyone
Evil Orphan here, this movie was Taradise On Earth! Uwe Boll is worth 1000 Michael Bays, and is an International Treasure!
Tara Reid as a scientist... reminds me of the girl on the season 4 of love is Blind "I'm a scientist, but then became a teacher in a third world country, because my grades were crap, now I've got an only fans, because I'm 'empowered' " They could have just used a piece of toast instead, just as believable
2:40 Oh! I've heard that "cheese gives you nightmares" things a couple of times. I couldn't decide if it was just the weirdness of " folk knowledge" and the way it trickles down in family lore or people not understanding lactose intolerance.
Well… in around 79 or 80 my wife got smart and left me. I was looking for new living conditions.
I looked at an old warehouse and an old business down town to convert into a residence.
The warehouse was plagued by a zoning problem.
The business needed a new roof.
I bought a motorhome and slept in the city cemetery when I wasn’t working..
The warehouse makes sense if you build a place inside you can heat and cool..
Parking your car in the living area with you makes sense.. sort of..