Toddlers are assholes...what's wrong with saying it? Jennifer and Pumps are gonna say it after they get to the bottom of which fruit is the universal sign for swingers.
Yup. Dragon parents who also freak out on you for having healthy boundaries and asking them to please keep their children out of your personal sphere in public places are the worst. And the same goes for parents who lose it when you say their child doesn't have total freedom over YOUR space and belongings.
I’ve just discovered these women, and I don’t really understand as a 20 year old floridian gay man how I relate with these women so much… But I’m just gonna not worry about it all that much and just continue being a valued listener 💀
I have no idea who either of these two fabulous ladies are but I came across a reel where Jennifer said “suck the chrome off a tail pipe” and I’ve been on a mission to watch everything they have done together. I have no kids and I am from England but I have laughed so much watching them say what we are *ALL* thinking. Someone had to say it and I’m glad it’s Jennifer and Pumps!
As a married woman with No kids, I Love your impressions of ppl having babies, I enjoy motherhood through you. And am Thrilled that I dont have any kids myself. I've heard about the pineapples... But my mom loves them and would Never swing
As a mother who called my kids assholes and a former child who was called an asshole by my mom , We are just fine and learned that sometimes it is what it is and life goes on.
Ladies, ladies, ladies. A month ago, my GBF, (Gay Best Friend) of 25 years, introduced me to your podcast. He opened his introduction of you two with, "These two bitches are the spirit animals of our relationship." Then proceeded to send me your TikTok clips over the next few weeks. Every single one of them had me laughing so hard. So I decided that during our week vacation in San Diego, the whole time we wouldn't watch or listen to anything else but your podcast from start to finish. I'm in your video library, literally staring from your oldest episodes, and working my way forward to the present. The only way I know if I already watched an episode or not, is by the red progress bar at the bottom of the video. I must say that I love you both so much that I'm now going through all the video's AGAIN and making 100% sure that I'm liking every single one of them, leaving no video "un-liked." So of course, since in already here liking them, I MUST watch the episodes again. I'm as addicted to your podcast as you were to your cigarettes. Every..single..episode is like a clip from the life of "Jessika and Miguel's mid-life reunion." If you ever feel that you'd like or need a Gay and Transwoman best friends of 25 years, guests on your show, let us know. We'd both be thrilled to be on and meet you ladies. In our friendship, sometimes I'm a little bit of Jen, but I'm 99% Pumps, and Miguel is definitely 100% Jen! Miguel was absolutely correct, you two bitches are the embodiment of spirit animals or our 25 year relationship. If we were ever reincarnated as straight women, we would come back as you two. Lots of love, Jessika.
Found you ladies when you talked with Michael Cohen and have stayed current since! Like other posters in this thread, I'm lonesome for y'all and now I'm starting from the beginning to get a fix and be a better patriot. 💙❤💙
I'm clapping and laughing trying to put on makeup. I've missed you guys! I've been saying for years how wedding/baby showers were sooooo stupid! NO ONE WANTS TO BE THERE!! I only wish I'd used the term "circle jerk" when describing the "ooooo aaah" torture as the presents are opened 😀
Not sure how I stumbled upon this but SOOO glad I did! I loved your show on Bravo and never understood what happened when it disappeared. You guys are freakin hilarious!
And just like that.. Im obsessed with you both😂 I'm gonna have to binge watch all the episodes I've missed. Definitely sharing your podcast with my circle ✨🙏🏼💯
As an Okie, I love this. I saw Jennifer in an airport once. This is how friends talk to each other. By the way, I've told people that if kids aren't invited, you can't bring them anyway.
I can tolerate social gatherings but I would rather not. On my way to my mother's surprise birthday party, I told my children, "Please don't do this to me when I turn 70." Didn't have a baby shower. Thank god.
So Happy to see you ladies again!!! What a Gift!! Thank you ❤! I adore your friendship, and humor! Yasssss! Cheers to normal women and beautiful friends everywhere! :)
OMFGDJC!! [oh my f*cking god damn Jesus Christ]😂😂😂 After hearing so many of your recent podcasts for the first time, I wanted to come and see the first podcast. I AM NOT DISAPPOINTED. ☠️😂 This gaytriot loves you two.
27:45 I agree! I don’t believe in lying to give a rejection. I know it’s done out of perceived politeness because people are scared to say “no thank you” these days but I think doing so is rude actually
Oh I have missed you girls. Just found this and I'm starting from the beginning. Love that people can see us okies aren't just riding cows and stepping all over people's rights to love who they want.
Watching your first episode after having watched since the middle of last year is so funny “That wraps it up for our podcast… the best you’ve got is watermelons with seeds?” 🤣💀 These watermelons crawled so IHIP as we know it could fly 🤣
Kids deserve to win and not have to share it. It gives them confidence. Learning to lose is one of life's most important lessons. Kids are tough. For years I thought my first name was Jesus Christ😂 My mom called me names when I deserved it. It wasn't devastating. Sometimes it broke the tension like when my Mom called my brother a "son of a bitch" and he was like "yes, yes I am."
Loving you LADIES!!!! Missed you so much! Why aren't you on TV anymore?!? Also, first time hearing about the pineapple. I love pineapples and I have some decorations myself.....not a swinger. Haha!!
And the crazy thing with the baby showers is that now you get the joy 😑of being invited to every birthday party for that child for the foreseeable future…ugh
My daughter would get pissed , turn blue and pass out , so nice ! I would threaten her too , " If you pass out you are in trouble " People are like CALL CPS!!!!!!!!!! And my red head screaming at the top of his lungs , banging on the window while I am outside on the call from the National Science Lab I had waited for like 3 months !!!!! I couldn't get too far from the house since it was a portable ! Arses !
What is worse? A destination bachelorette party! Expecting the people already coughing up A LOT of money to BE in the wedding and throwing the shower, and then wanting the wedding party to fly to Nashville or Vegas....or once that I KNOW of ...IRELAND!!!, for a bachelor or bachelorette party.
Honestly I'm very opinionated (is that a word) about stuff like this, I don't like some kids and I ain't planning on having them so yes, this is true and I'm glad I found this podcast it's quite funny but nice to listen to!!
I think the story at the start exactly explains the need for the me too movement. We are so used to sexual harassment, perpetrators rely on us not calling police or "making a fuss". Especially the grope or flasher type. It's an unhealthy display of power and entitlement.
I had to tell my toddler’s teacher today “she’s a f*cking terrorist today” and the teacher smiled like thank you for stating the obvious instead of pretending she’s an angel.
My 3 year old boy ran out of the library today after I spent about an hour creating a Valentine's box for his daycare class party, into the parking lot, because the library had automatic doors. And I couldn't catch him because my hands were full. Another parent, a dad, had to catch him. I was so embarrassed, but at the same time I was just angry at my little asshole.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who can’t stand baby showers. When I taught elementary school there was a baby shower every other week. I became unpopular because I often skipped them.
My niece is the blast of my life, now she is 2 and gosh she is the worse, HOW? Berally talks and the whole world is around her...chill, kid hahahaha love my tiny one, tho but i get it
My fiance and I once invited his mom and aunt over for a wine night and *morning of* his mom asks if his aunt's granddaughter (9) can come. We ended up making up an excuse to cancel but I wish we had the balls to say no, absoLUTELY not
This reminds me of the tik tok cooks that called cps on the woman that allegedly flipped her kid off 😂 like damn they would never have survived my mother if they think that's abuse.
Its all minor until perversion increases and starts grooming young girls to get in the car with him and then does SA or S trafficking or kills. That sick sex offender most likely violated parole from priors and could have been sent back to jail. He will get another case/victim. For the females in your life make the call and if possible to stay safe take photos of car license plate and the disgusting sex offender
I’m impressed by Pumps’ knowledge of more deviant / taboo lifestyles - pineapples? Never knew! And although Mazzios clearly > than Dominos, the kid can complain at their own house or when they’re paying for it! Hope Pumps is still rockin the ice tea and Splenda in that mug - everyone deserves an indulgence! Good job! 🙏
I know for a fact my friend’s kid (she’s four now) would call me an asshole right back if I called her an asshole. She can dish it right back I know that much
As a perfume sales worker a few year back I can tell you right now. Alien was the only perfume to have a refill station in the uk 😂 I hated it but now I miss it 😢
I prefer a parent that admits when their kids are being assholes to the parent that insists their child is perfect in every way 🤮
Yup. Dragon parents who also freak out on you for having healthy boundaries and asking them to please keep their children out of your personal sphere in public places are the worst. And the same goes for parents who lose it when you say their child doesn't have total freedom over YOUR space and belongings.
Damn participation awards really pushed it downhill fast!!!!
For the flasher... roll down the window and yell, "Hey! Does that come in adult size?"
I’ve just discovered these women, and I don’t really understand as a 20 year old floridian gay man how I relate with these women so much… But I’m just gonna not worry about it all that much and just continue being a valued listener 💀
I have no idea who either of these two fabulous ladies are but I came across a reel where Jennifer said “suck the chrome off a tail pipe” and I’ve been on a mission to watch everything they have done together. I have no kids and I am from England but I have laughed so much watching them say what we are *ALL* thinking. Someone had to say it and I’m glad it’s Jennifer and Pumps!
As a married woman with No kids, I Love your impressions of ppl having babies, I enjoy motherhood through you. And am Thrilled that I dont have any kids myself. I've heard about the pineapples... But my mom loves them and would Never swing
As a mother who called my kids assholes and a former child who was called an asshole by my mom , We are just fine and learned that sometimes it is what it is and life goes on.
Ladies, ladies, ladies. A month ago, my GBF, (Gay Best Friend) of 25 years, introduced me to your podcast. He opened his introduction of you two with, "These two bitches are the spirit animals of our relationship." Then proceeded to send me your TikTok clips over the next few weeks. Every single one of them had me laughing so hard. So I decided that during our week vacation in San Diego, the whole time we wouldn't watch or listen to anything else but your podcast from start to finish. I'm in your video library, literally staring from your oldest episodes, and working my way forward to the present. The only way I know if I already watched an episode or not, is by the red progress bar at the bottom of the video. I must say that I love you both so much that I'm now going through all the video's AGAIN and making 100% sure that I'm liking every single one of them, leaving no video "un-liked." So of course, since in already here liking them, I MUST watch the episodes again. I'm as addicted to your podcast as you were to your cigarettes. Every..single..episode is like a clip from the life of "Jessika and Miguel's mid-life reunion." If you ever feel that you'd like or need a Gay and Transwoman best friends of 25 years, guests on your show, let us know. We'd both be thrilled to be on and meet you ladies. In our friendship, sometimes I'm a little bit of Jen, but I'm 99% Pumps, and Miguel is definitely 100% Jen! Miguel was absolutely correct, you two bitches are the embodiment of spirit animals or our 25 year relationship. If we were ever reincarnated as straight women, we would come back as you two. Lots of love, Jessika.
Found you ladies when you talked with Michael Cohen and have stayed current since! Like other posters in this thread, I'm lonesome for y'all and now I'm starting from the beginning to get a fix and be a better patriot. 💙❤💙
LOVE this podcast! I'm binge listening to all the episodes!
I'm clapping and laughing trying to put on makeup. I've missed you guys! I've been saying for years how wedding/baby showers were sooooo stupid! NO ONE WANTS TO BE THERE!! I only wish I'd used the term "circle jerk" when describing the "ooooo aaah" torture as the presents are opened 😀
Not sure how I stumbled upon this but SOOO glad I did! I loved your show on Bravo and never understood what happened when it disappeared. You guys are freakin hilarious!
found out about this podcast from twitter! I love yall's 'cool aunt' energy so much 🤣
And just like that.. Im obsessed with you both😂 I'm gonna have to binge watch all the episodes I've missed. Definitely sharing your podcast with my circle ✨🙏🏼💯
Makes me so happy hearing my inner most thought expressed out loud💜
I didn’t think I would see the day 😂😂😂.
So many “Rose and Dorothy moments” in this episode. LOVE IT!!!!! 😂😂😂
LOVE LOVE LOVE yalls friendship!!! 100 stars ⭐️
As an Okie, I love this. I saw Jennifer in an airport once. This is how friends talk to each other. By the way, I've told people that if kids aren't invited, you can't bring them anyway.
I can tolerate social gatherings but I would rather not. On my way to my mother's surprise birthday party, I told my children, "Please don't do this to me when I turn 70." Didn't have a baby shower. Thank god.
FANTASTIC! Hassan you know how to pick em. Can't wait for the meet.
Y’all are amazing!! My sister and I were laughing so much we were crying!! Can’t wait for next Tuesdays episode!! 😂😂🤣🤣💖💖🤩🤩
Dish Nation brought me here and your wit will keep me here. New subscriber.
So Happy to see you ladies again!!! What a Gift!! Thank you ❤! I adore your friendship, and humor! Yasssss! Cheers to normal women and beautiful friends everywhere! :)
OMFGDJC!! [oh my f*cking god damn Jesus Christ]😂😂😂 After hearing so many of your recent podcasts for the first time, I wanted to come and see the first podcast. I AM NOT DISAPPOINTED. ☠️😂 This gaytriot loves you two.
Yayyyy !! SO here for this!!! I missed y’all and especially missed y’all’s dynamic!!! 🍾 🎊 🎉
Me too and just discovered this TH-cam podcast ❤ 🎉
So excited to have you guys back in my life! 🎉 Congrats on the pod!
Had it with all the negativity in the world right now!? Need a laugh? This is your podcast! Guaranteed laughs! I was the be besties with these ladies
I’m thrilled to find out you have a Podcast! I’m a big fan of you two! 🤣😂👏👏👏👏
I’m so happy I found this! I’ve missed you both! Loved your show!
Toddlers aren't Assholes. They're drunks. Pint-sized, sloppy drunks. And Closing Time is never.
great job gals- extremely witty and funny!
I'm so glad Hasan talked about you guys. I loooove this podcast.
Blammo
I loved your show and so happy to hear your show. So happy I found this!1
27:45 I agree! I don’t believe in lying to give a rejection. I know it’s done out of perceived politeness because people are scared to say “no thank you” these days but I think doing so is rude actually
I love having you both back! Thanks for the laughs!
Oh I have missed you girls. Just found this and I'm starting from the beginning. Love that people can see us okies aren't just riding cows and stepping all over people's rights to love who they want.
Already watched/heard all episodes and am now going back to redo them all again like my favorite TV show.😂
Watching your first episode after having watched since the middle of last year is so funny “That wraps it up for our podcast… the best you’ve got is watermelons with seeds?” 🤣💀 These watermelons crawled so IHIP as we know it could fly 🤣
Omg You two are the best!! I loved your show and miss it!!! So happy to see you borh🥰
Kids deserve to win and not have to share it. It gives them confidence. Learning to lose is one of life's most important lessons.
Kids are tough. For years I thought my first name was Jesus Christ😂 My mom called me names when I deserved it. It wasn't devastating. Sometimes it broke the tension like when my Mom called my brother a "son of a bitch" and he was like "yes, yes I am."
Loving you LADIES!!!! Missed you so much! Why aren't you on TV anymore?!? Also, first time hearing about the pineapple. I love pineapples and I have some decorations myself.....not a swinger. Haha!!
And the crazy thing with the baby showers is that now you get the joy 😑of being invited to every birthday party for that child for the foreseeable future…ugh
Omg this is the duo the world NEEDS right now.
The ending 🤣 awww yous are comical, can't wait to binge from episode 1!
This is like Christmas Day having the two of you back on my screen! Toddlers are assholes and I’m cracking up!!
So glad you guys made a podcast
You ladies are hilarious 💜💜💜
Yall are funny as fuck. Need a cross over with mean girls and mother knows best on barstool. And yall need another show please ❤🎉
My daughter would get pissed , turn blue and pass out , so nice ! I would threaten her too , " If you pass out you are in trouble " People are like CALL CPS!!!!!!!!!! And my red head screaming at the top of his lungs , banging on the window while I am outside on the call from the National Science Lab I had waited for like 3 months !!!!! I couldn't get too far from the house since it was a portable ! Arses !
You still can make me laugh and smile love it keep it up please have a tubbers appearance
This is the most refreshing shit ever.
Selenium on the seeds very good for you!
This was pure GREATNESS!!! Love it!!! 👏🏼😂👏🏼
as a grandmother, i tell the grandkids all the time to not be assholes. there are 8 of them ages 3 thru 16.
What is worse? A destination bachelorette party! Expecting the people already coughing up A LOT of money to BE in the wedding and throwing the shower, and then wanting the wedding party to fly to Nashville or Vegas....or once that I KNOW of ...IRELAND!!!, for a bachelor or bachelorette party.
They're fucking spitting! 🔥
Please everyone listen to this podcast you will not be disappointed
I feel like OKC police has bigger problems than a flasher 😂
Honestly I'm very opinionated (is that a word) about stuff like this, I don't like some kids and I ain't planning on having them so yes, this is true and I'm glad I found this podcast it's quite funny but nice to listen to!!
Why am I googling Alien perfume? 😅😂
I think the story at the start exactly explains the need for the me too movement. We are so used to sexual harassment, perpetrators rely on us not calling police or "making a fuss". Especially the grope or flasher type. It's an unhealthy display of power and entitlement.
I had to tell my toddler’s teacher today “she’s a f*cking terrorist today” and the teacher smiled like thank you for stating the obvious instead of pretending she’s an angel.
Give it a rest Linda, plants produce flowers, that grow into fruits, and fruits are a vessel for seeds. No shit. ....all joking aside, I love yall!😂😂😂
I havent watched yet... so excited!!!
My 3 year old boy ran out of the library today after I spent about an hour creating a Valentine's box for his daycare class party, into the parking lot, because the library had automatic doors. And I couldn't catch him because my hands were full. Another parent, a dad, had to catch him. I was so embarrassed, but at the same time I was just angry at my little asshole.
As someone that worked as Mazzios in high school - I support that meltdown
As a young single mom with a 3 year old this is the venting I needed to hear. My toddler is such a fucking asshole.
You guys are awesome!
I work with toddlers everyday and this is sooo funny.😂
You can usually get another watermelon for free if you picked one that isn't good. Just need the receipt.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who can’t stand baby showers. When I taught elementary school there was a baby shower every other week. I became unpopular because I often skipped them.
Omg y'all are hilarious, 🎉🎉🎉🎉
The gargling sip is fine
My niece is the blast of my life, now she is 2 and gosh she is the worse, HOW? Berally talks and the whole world is around her...chill, kid hahahaha love my tiny one, tho but i get it
I'm fucking crying ☠️ Girl I LOVE Alien! 😂
My fiance and I once invited his mom and aunt over for a wine night and *morning of* his mom asks if his aunt's granddaughter (9) can come. We ended up making up an excuse to cancel but I wish we had the balls to say no, absoLUTELY not
Loved it !
I hate watermelon with seeds, it annoys me! I only get the seedless watermelon.
Upside down pineapples ~ swingers. Regular pineapples ~ welcome/aloha
you guys need to collab with trixie and katya plzzzzzzzzzzz i would die !!
Pumps I wear angel from Walgreens. I see your alien
My favvvv podcast
Toddlers ARE assholes! Toddlers in restaurants are normally assholes. My children are lucky they made it to adulthood!✌️😂💙💙💙
LOVE YOU LADIES!♥️.
This reminds me of the tik tok cooks that called cps on the woman that allegedly flipped her kid off 😂 like damn they would never have survived my mother if they think that's abuse.
coming in weeks late but i literally remember this and i was like.....they would have ARRESTED my mother if they knew lol
yes, no gurgling, please...!
I live in Hawaii near a pineapple plantation...😂
Love this!!
Its all minor until perversion increases and starts grooming young girls to get in the car with him and then does SA or S trafficking or kills. That sick sex offender most likely violated parole from priors and could have been sent back to jail. He will get another case/victim. For the females in your life make the call and if possible to stay safe take photos of car license plate and the disgusting sex offender
I’m impressed by Pumps’ knowledge of more deviant / taboo lifestyles - pineapples? Never knew!
And although Mazzios clearly > than Dominos, the kid can complain at their own house or when they’re paying for it!
Hope Pumps is still rockin the ice tea and Splenda in that mug - everyone deserves an indulgence!
Good job! 🙏
This was hilarious 😂 toddlers are assholes forsure 😂😂😂😂
I know for a fact my friend’s kid (she’s four now) would call me an asshole right back if I called her an asshole. She can dish it right back I know that much
Also, seeded watermelon tastes better!!!!
So good!!!
Love y’all
I use to wear Alien
❤
PUMPS I WOULDVE THINK THE SAME LOL ALSO SEEDS MEANS "NATURAL' IS BETTER I HAD IT WITH THE GMO'S LOL
I just want to say that I am here for seed-full watermelon hate! I ate a seedless watermelon piece yesterday and there was ONE SEED. Hated it!
As a perfume sales worker a few year back I can tell you right now. Alien was the only perfume to have a refill station in the uk 😂 I hated it but now I miss it 😢
I use to wear alien
Hahahahaha 🥰🥰