I Was Struggling with Schizophrenia Symptoms Last Night
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 ต.ค. 2024
- I just wanted to share a bit about what it's like when I am feeling more symptomatic. I was experiencing hallucinations, delusions, and paranoia last night, and in this video I share a bit about what that felt like.
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I am so glad you have a husband who will help you.
I needed to see this today.
Seriously.
My son has schizophrenia, and I watch your videos often, and I NEEDED to see this, because sometimes it seems like you dont struggle w hallucinations/psychosis and it's so daunting thinking "is it my son who's just this bad?"
I APPRECIATE THIS CONTENT especially from you Lauren! Thank you!
Does your son have many psychotic and delusional episodes?
Omg! I feel that way too. It's so hard seeing him struggle and not be able to help.
@@FM-st4yn unfortunately, he struggles with acceptance of his diagnosis being so young. He tends to go off his medicine, and that's really the issue. He'll get leveled off, then stop taking his meds and yeah it becomes harder for him & hallucinations become worse.
Nicole- it's the worse thing EVER!!
@@moonshine814 I understand. My ex was the same, so many ups and downs. Unfortunately we are no longer together. I wish you strength and hope, one thing is for certain, giving love is fundamental for recovery. May you find peace and happiness.
@@FM-st4yn I appreciate that so so much!!
I suffer with schizo-affective disorder since I was 20 and now I’m 46! I understand the difficulties of functioning, but, from where I stand I think just getting up in the morning is a success, but when you speak about your life, you beat me everyday of the week. You are in a relationship and a child! It’s great that you have a husband plus a kid and still have the drive in some capacity to be present!
We all have our own battles and goals, our own individual journeys 💚 i hope you can find Lauren’s content helpful, and not disheartening 💚💚
Could I ask what your symptoms are? I'm still trying to get my head around this disorder. My therapist is saying that I she thinks I might have it but I don't feel connected to the diagnosis. Well she hasn't diagnosed me yet but that's really important towards. That and bipolar. But what is it exactly what are the core functions and features of this disorder? At least for you?
@@harperl2 Hi Steve, I think you are too forward to be experiencing shizo affective disorder. Direct questions to someone living with schizophrenia are really difficult to take. Look at Lauren's other videos for symptoms, she has heaps, but she willing makes them. Asking someone who identifies with this disorder is pretty much a no dont do it.
You are a gem. Even in the midst of significant distress you still went on to create content of great service. Thank you and hope you have time to rest and feel better. :)
I hope you feel better, your videos help me with my schizoaffective disorder as well so it’s nice to hear about how you are doing
I just wish my mum was still here to watch this with me. She tried so so hard to be independent, and strong, and to not fall through but eventually, she just gave up. She didn't want to be a burden for me. How I wish all the information we have access today was available for me 10 years ago. Or maybe it was, but I didn't know how to look for it. I keep blaming myself, saying that I could have done better when it comes to supporting her. My therapist needs to tell me every time that I did the best I could with what I knew. I am not entirely convinced of that yet, but I try. What you do here is so, so important! Thank you for sharing your story
I'm very sorry lost her, I know Im a random but I hope you realize eventually it's not your fault
@@aaaa-jg4sm it's something that I am still trying to come to terms with. That it wasn't my fault. It's hard.
Your vulnerability in sharing so much is appreciated - hope you find yourself well as time goes on.
I have long thought that Schizophrenia is a kind of sleep disorder where the brain is stuck between sleep/awake states. Anyway, thank you for sharing Lauren. It's important.
That's insightful and makes sense to me.
As a mood disorder sufferer,i know that i feel like im a burden or would be a burden in a relationship,so tend to date less..which is a shame its amazing you found someone who is so understanding and patient...its also interesting to hear how it impacts your connection with your little one...just do your best..thats all we can do right!..🙏🏻
It is possible to find somebody who will look after you and accept you warts n all , excuse the pun lol
I really appreciate your level of openness here. I’ve never experienced psychosis, but I have bipolar disorder. This past year I experienced the worst depression of my life along with debilitating anxiety. My level of functionality felt close to zero and I was in constant, almost unendurable pain. I did 42 courses of ECT in a 6 month period, first 3 times a week, then 2, then once a week. Tried to go down to once every 2 weeks but the pain of my depression was too much to bear then, so went back to once a week. It was back in April that my psychiatrist found a medication that finally did help me and I was able to stop in the ECT in early May. Since then my mood has been improving, with starts and stops, and it’s an ongoing, gradual process and I’m not sure I’ll ever be in the promised land of full remission of depressive symptoms, but I’m feeling much more encouraged and optimistic now.
But something I’ve been talking with my psychotherapist about recently and I’ve been thinking a lot about is shame. I’ve learned I have a chronic and pervasive sense of shame. And an area in which my shame spikes the most is the expression of my own feelings. There’s something about me just being open and direct and simply stating how I feel about something that feels incredibly dangerous for me. But now that I’ve become aware of this and my mood is much better than it was, I’m trying to do this more. All of which is to say, I really appreciate how open you were in this video and I’m trying to learn how to be open as well in my own life, so thank you. I think the more I learn to share my feelings, the better off I’ll be just in general and maybe with respect to bipolar disorder as well. Anyway, I wish you health and happiness.
Peter Cohen sorry you're going through such a painful time. Glad you have a good Dr.
What a tough individual you must be- it all sounds awful, but you seem to be facing it with insight, dignity, & intelligence. Keep up the good fight!
@@tallblonde1976 yeah I’ve had to burn through a couple psychiatrists to get to the one I have now. My first psychiatrist didn’t seem up to the task of treating bipolar depression. The second was supposed to be a nation leading expert in bipolar disorder, and did prescribe things that were somewhat effective for some time although often with significant side effects. I stayed with him for 5 years after which I bailed because he didn’t seem to have any options left that I was willing to try. I also went to a psychiatrist who specialized in transcranial magnetic stimulation and ketamine, neither of which were ultimately effective for me. But now I’ve got a psychiatrist who seems smart and who I like and respect and seems pretty dynamic in his approach. He takes my concerns about various medications seriously and is willing to try things. The first few meds he put me on I was pretty doubtful would help because I’d been on similar ones in the past but then he put me on one that really had helped. I’m really very privileged that my family has good enough insurance and can pay for treatment out of pocket to be reimbursed by the insurance company later. And it’s really saddening for me to think about people like me who don’t have those tremendous advantages.
@@katiesfarmhouse please share more on how you communicate to your husband about what it is like for you at the moment you are actually going through this process of your struggles with battling to remain in reality .l need to hear how you describe it to someone else from your perspective. Just how aware are you of what is real and what is not real.
@@katiesfarmhouse Thanks. Yeah it’s easy for me to be positive and optimistic now that my mood has improved, but when my mood wasn’t so good and I looked back at the last 7-8 years of very limited functionality where I tried but failed to go to school and I tried and failed to have a job and tried and failed to get back into running (which was a big deal for me in high school) by going to physical therapy and all the while I was depressed, it was very easy for me to feel real despair and consider the real possibility that I wasn’t going to get better, that recovery was not in the cards for me. So I’m very grateful that my mental health has significantly improved and I’m aware that I’m at the mercy of forces beyond my control but I’m gonna do my best to be healthy and hopefully productive. I seem to be quite capable of writing these long TH-cam comments haha which may be why I’ve been working on an autobiographical novel and after that I want to be a child psychologist. So fingers crossed, God willing, I’ll be able to do those things. But yeah right now I’m just happy to be feeling better and capable of doing things that bring me some joy. Thank you for your kind words. I hope all is well with you.
Commenting for the algorithm, thanks for the work you do! ✌🏻💚
I really like Canadian people!! And this honest,open, n truthful person whose videos have educated me on my own diagnosis and struggles!!! Thanks 💚
We like you too. (:
Same! Thanks!!!!
Me too! Canadians are nicer than Americans, generally speaking. Of course there are plenty of nice Americans and it is likely there are mean Canadians, but overall Canadians have Americans beat in terms of politeness and measured thinking. I attribute it to their government and to their financial system. Americans are taught to compete aggressively and to do whatever it takes to make a living. We are more ruthless and have a "dog eat dog" philosophy. Canadians seem to like their government more and they support public services that level the playing field in terms of health care, infrastructure and educational opportunities. There is a darkness in American politics. Everything is a "conspiracy" and we don't care for each other like Canadians.
@@mygirldarbyPerfectly said S. Have a great day!!
I don’t have schizophrenia, but I do have some thing called depersonalization derealization disorder and the derealization for me feels like what you described, but I think the difference for me is tI’m able to have more insight than somebody who was in psychosis
Thank you, Lauren. I too struggle with schizophrenia. Remember that sometimes our struggles are because we love too much.
Thanks for sharing, Lauren. Your videos are an excellent teaching tool for family members to understand that recovery doesn’t mean that you are necessarily free of all symptoms. So crucial to remember that there can be little set backs. Glad you are feeling better. 🥰
Hello, currently I’m in the process of getting a diagnosis and my psychiatrist thinks this is the same thing I suffer from. It’s awesome being able to watch these videos and it helps me feel like a little less out of it knowing I’m not the only one who goes through these things. Thank you for sharing your experiences, these help so much.
I'm a RMN in the UK. You are a awesome person for helping others even when symptomatic. Hoping you recover from this episode very soon. Thanks for your work, but remember, if you need to rest or de-stress, that's more important than vids.
What is an RMN?
@@marywilliams9858 registered mental health nurse i believe.
Thank you for sharing! And thanks Rob for supporting
This is crazy I had a manic episode this week at night but I was so sleepy I was able to manage it but it is getting out of control I'm on abilify know God Bless You Rob And Teddy
Thank you for sharing. It is so important to share that symptoms can also be manageable. I went so long worrying about having symptoms because I felt I would be going 100% each time, but learned that sometimes they're at a good 60% and can go down with someone self compassion from myself.
I hope your day got better now. Holidays, even if you plan them, can be so stressful. The extra stimulation, although I love blasting Christmas music and the lights everywhere, can be a little overwhelming to my brain unconsciously. I try to take more do-nothing days during the holidays to help de-stimulate the mind
Don't get disappointed with your relapse. We, people with such disorder are always behind you. You are a great inspiration to all.
This is maybe the third time ive stumbled across your content, despite not looking for it. TH-cam rabbit hole working its magic I suppose.
You are an incredible human being. Blown away by what you do. Openness, bravery, understanding.
Be proud of what you do and the lives you've touched. I'm not even your target audience and just watching somebody speak about their struggle with such honesty and grace, it just warms my heart so much.
That you can make a difference in the lives of those facing similar challenges to your own is wondeful, but what you do go's beyond that. The way you carry yourself, is inspiring.
So thank you, for doing what you do.
YOUR HEART is huge. Such a condition and still working to shed light for others who have friends or relatives or coworkers with this condition.
I'm sorry to hear you had trouble last night. Talking about it probably helps people who are going through the same thing though.
I really appreciate your transparency. I live with mental illness and sometimes, the pressure to appear and/or act "normal" is enormous. It's exhausting and is also very harmful to me in the long run. Glad you shared this.
I have difficulty grounding in myself in reality sometimes, and it can be incredibly distressing. You’re so strong and amazing. I’m inspired by your words
I don’t have a diagnosis but I do have mental struggles. I am happy to have found this channel-it makes me feel more valid about my own videos and speaking on my own experiences. Thank you for sharing yours.
You're awesome and with a newborn comes with lack of sleep which disrupts one's circadian rhythm and spatial disorientation. Stay strong and with each milestone, so does your child reflection of his mother's ❤.
You are not alone, I have schizoaffective disorder, I am learning how to manage or understanding when I have a hallucination or delusion. I watch your videos to help me more with my illness
I go through struggles with schizophrenia...I like your videos as it allows me to hear someone who knows how the struggles are...hopefully we can reach remission..thank you, much love
I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. I can't imagine the fear when this happens. Thank you for sharing your journey so that others can learn.
Sorry you went through these symptoms. I hope you are doing better. Thank God I haven't had any symptoms since February 2020. I started getting injections Instead of taking pills and that seems to help me. I haven't had any auditory hallucinations since then. I hope you are doing ok.
Your not alone. I know it's not as sever but the past 3 week's my asd and socal anxity, chronic pain and gad have been rough.
Your videos are so helpful.
I suffer from Bipolar 1 disorder.
Absolute gratitude 🙏
There's a mental health saying that goes, "It's okay, not to be okay". But not many honest and vulnerable videos of being not okay. Probably because it's incredibly difficult. So thank you for doing the hard work of capturing those moments and for sharing something so personal.
Thank you for sharing it. I hope you feel better now, and if not, I know that Rob will take good care of you 😊
I experience these symptoms but always thought it was disassociation. I've also had experiences with hearing whispering. A bunch of voices all at once when I was younger. Everyone told me it was depression or trauma. I really appreciate your channel and your transparency
I had a dream I couldn’t trust what my brain was perceiving was reality, and it was terrifying. Not being able to trust your senses and what is actually real or a hallucination, seems to be very frightening. My heart is with you. My son also has schizophrenia. He’s very low functioning for the most part. It’s good to see you can recognize when you know what is happening isn’t reality, so that you can reach out for help and get help. Much love to you
The worst thing for me is that it always feels permanent when it happens. Probably won't help, but BE COOL DUDETTE! You've got a lot of friends out here in the ether.
I hope you realise how much good you do and how many people you help all around the world. I hope you're feeling better.
Thanks for sharing your experience Lauren . I’m sending you a big hug ❤️
My mum recently committed suicide and I started this channel 7 weeks ago to raise awareness and help others with mental health concerns they may have themselves and it’s channels like this that inspired me to do so…
… There is STILL not enough Mental Health awareness available to people and that is so wrong!!!
Thank you for your post.
Your experience and your knowledge about you and your illness helped you through, honey, also sharing with your partner. My lovely daughter is 24 and she had her first crisis at 17. She suffered a lot. Now she is stable and able to take care of herself, she is studding and lives with her partner 3 years now. She is very similar to you. You're helping me a lot understanding my daughter. All my love to you and your family
Hi Lauren Thank you so much for sharing 😇
My son has schizophrenia with delusions, so it is very helpful for me to understand more, you are incredibly good at communicating how you feel
Understand that you want to show people that you have bad days and, but I know that everyone has bad days both with and without diagnoses. I benefit greatly from you telling about the bad days when you have good days ❤️ So rather take care of yourself when you are very bad, do not care about those who think you only have good days, first yourself Lauren then the family 💜 the rest of us can wait 😇🙏🏼💜
Warm good thoughts to you and your family 💜
Great to see you work through the experience, know yourself, and be able to communicate it.
The video feels like it normalizes this in a really good way.
Someone without schizophrenia might think that the ability to check in with yourself is the only setting. Oh no!!! Admitting that in this and in other videos hopefully goes a long way in connecting people with to people without schizophrenia. Thanks!
Hi Lauren, praying for you for a quick recovery! I’m sorry you had to experience that last night. Thank you for sharing your experience with us and for showing us how important communication is! Love you!!! 🙏🙏💖
I'm sorry that you were struggling. Thank you for sharing with us ❤️
Struggling with symptoms now, then I scrolled through your video, Thank You
Lauren, I am in awe of you and your ability to show up for yourself. You’re an inspiration to all of us struggling with our mental health!
So glad you’re learning to cope better, congrats!!
Your honesty helps me so much
It's okay we' will still be here
If you need a break from this
I have had schizophrenia. For over twenty years now. I am in my early fifties. To me it has gotten easier. I journal one sentence every night. Just to see how my day went. It let's me see where my symptoms are. Having these symptoms for so long I am more aware of how they react.
You’re so strong for pushing through and sharing your honest thoughts and feelings during this time.. it’s so important for me to see that others struggle too and you’re appreciated for posting about it.. but I also hope that you’re doing ok and taking that extra time for self care! 💕
I love watching this channel 💜. You're unbelievably strong! Keep on with the keeping on beautiful 💜!
Thank you so very much for this video. This sort of direct-experience information is so helpful to me in understanding what my brother has been going through for decades now. I appreciate the two of you and your videos a great deal and think that your work is a huge benefit in understanding schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder.
I’m here, I care, I feel you💙 Speaking just to one challenge you are dealing with-Morherhood is the most difficult job, by far and above, of any other job I have ever done. And I can also say it is, by far and above, the most important job I ve done-and the most rewarding. Always be kind to yourself while doing the hardest, most important, most rewarding job in the world, because you are doing great and you deserve it. Not to mention the other challenges you are having to deal with on top of the motherhood challenge…it has to be said again-you are doing great!!! Thank you so much for sharing these videos. For being open and for speaking out. You are appreciated. And lady-You got this💙💙💪
Thank you for your honesty. You are ALL of humanity.
Thank you for sharing this, Lauren. And thank you for sharing your story in general. You're making a real and positive impact in the world by educating people. I've been watching your videos for a few years & when a dear friend recently experienced a break from reality, I felt much less afraid and more informed than I think I would have otherwise.
Thank you so much for sharing and being vulnerable. I have been diagnosed with ADHD and depression but there has been something else--at times a lot of obsessive thoughts and delusions, and I find that I relate when you talk about "not quite being there". Having a teeny tiny baby is certainly a challenge, but I've found that having kids (mine are now 16 and 12!) has led me to rise to that challenge, and put my focus on my family instead of inside myself. I've found (as many parents have) that I'm more capable than I thought. My wish for you is that you find the strength within you to keep growing as your family grows.
I have generalized anxiety disorder, and some times, all this catastrophic thoughts, when Im in a stressful situation, makes me wonder, if those thoughts are not in some ways categorized as sort of hallucinations? When you mentioned that is difficult to ground yourself in reality, I feel, this disruptive thoughts of tragic outcome, s are as well, a parallel reality.
My head keeps going in circles with the fact that the worst outcome is gonna imminently happen . i.ex. kids lab results coming with the worst outcomes, if a family gets sick and immediately I think is covid and they are gonna die etc etc etc........any thoughts?
Thanks Lauren! I have also been outside my normal state today. For me it's lowered mood and heightened anxiety, but I had to take similar actions to manage :) Best to you, Rob and the kids too!
Thanks for keeping it real.
❤️❤️❤️Thank you for being honest and open. Wishing safety to you and all people in their being themselves.
You are one amazing woman! A trooper, a brilliant wife and a mum to your son. I commemorate you for trying to keep strong while battling this uneasy condition every day. I struggle with depressive moods every now and again and when this happens I feel weak and powerless. I can’t begin to imagine what it’s like to live with schizophrenia on daily basis but I’m really amazed at how well you are coping. Please, don’t you ever stop fighting. I love you videos and I applaud you for being a strong woman. You are a true inspiration to many including me. Much love from the UK
Thank you so much for sharing. I have a tremendous amount of respect for you.
I don't have a schizophrenic disorder, but I struggle with depression and anxiety during periods in my life. And I can absolutely relate to the way your selfcare helps you deal with your mental condition. ..."Be extra gentle with yourself, get some rest, go out and get physically active, make sure to eat healthily, ..." That was often a powerful resource for me to support the process of getting better.
It seems to be crucial with any kind of mental health issue.
I have experienced such symptoms before. Thank you for explaining this to us. This was very helpful for me.
you're such a sweet soul. thank you for sharing with us. 💓🦋 i hope for more better days in the future for you & everyone that sees this comment. we will get thru it. 🌹
Is very refreshing listening to you articulate what i have been trying to explain for years now. This feeling that the world isnt quite right. Thanks for being open and vulnerable.
You are a blessing to people who are dealing with this disorder. Keep doing gods work.
You helped reinforce my faith in my support network. I'm glad you have a good support system, I hope your symptoms have eased since posting this.
Hi Lauren; you look awesome & i really enjoyed this message. You are doing the best you can and its hard for all newish moms & and moms with a few kids.
I had days of exhaustion and that can be from many factors. The attention to children & partner is difficult. Im glad Rob could take over for the feeds.
My grandson was born 2020 & the "experience" was distressful to my daughter as no partners were allowed in for the birth. This created alot of trauma for my daughter. The baby cried so much and so loud & even now it can be unnerving.
So we help each other.
Please only do videos if you are up to it. You are so kind. 💜🍀
Thank you for your honesty. I’m sure it isn’t easy being so vulnerable. I can only imagine how unsettling that feeling must be. I’m so glad you have a great support system in Rob and that you have learned how to talk yourself through it. I hope you felt better today, and if you didn’t, remember we are all here for you just like you support all of us. ❤️
Thanks for being so brave to share with us today. Xo
I'm glad that this was uploaded today because I also had a really hard time last night and it made me feel kind of dumb😅 I feel like for myself and many other people psychosis tends to get worse at night (I don't really know why, I think it's probably the combination of being by yourself + all the lights being off). But I hope you start feeling better soon, thank you for all your hard work.❤️
Thank you for making this video, having a bad day myself. This helped me get into a better headspace.
I find your videos so open and honest. Thank you for sharing
We are all here. We all will get better .
I just need to get through until tomorrow when I see my psychiatrist. People don’t understand that some meds don’t work or they take time to work. I friendly hello from a stranger, a hug from a loved one, or a hospitalization may help someone with schizo problems. Hospitalization didn’t work for me and made me more paranoid.
Hope you get to feeling better and glad you have your husband.
My husband also have schizophrenia so I really needed to hear this today. Its hard beeing a bystander sometimes but I cant imagine dealing with it myself. Thank you for giving me and my husband hope and strenght! ❤️
Doesn’t matter how you look.. I have had the most difficult period of my lift! I really am in a psychose right now. I had to do soo much in a very short period, that i bought something in a store, paid for it, and just “forgot” to take the product i bought… It was a bit emberancing, but i went back in the store to get the product.. And told the employee that that what happens when you have to hurry.. I hope you continue the channel, thanks!!!!
So sorry for your struggle. I'm glad you have a good partner for support. 💕
Being gentle with ones self is utmost important, totally understandable with how moods can be flat or withdrawn after those episodes or the possible hallucination that night.. glad u have great supportive husband and family surrounding u ❤️🙏 I love your videos and always look forward to watching them, thanks for helping us in the world 🌎 much appreciated ❤️
Thank you for your openness and honesty.
Thank you for sharing
Thank you. I hope you know you really are amazing. I don't know how many of us would be as composed as you if we were going something so distressing. You're an intelligent, elegant and insightful person.
Feel better soon. You know we’re ALL pulling and praying for ya!
I see you as a beautiful and graceful, strong, courageous, insightful, well-spoken woman, filled with purpose and integrity. Thank you for sharing your experiences for they connect one another with greater understanding and potential for supportive engagement. Wishing you and those you hold dear, peace and well-being.
You’re not alone Lauren ❤️❤️ love you so much! Give that baby big hugs for me
Great reads out there "Surviving Schizophrenia, A Family Manual" by Dr Fuller Torrey..head it all in his writing..human connection, compassion, choices, few restestrictiins, just humanity..ty for your vlog Dave
Sorry to hear that you had a hard night.
This is prob weird or creepy but something about your voice is just soothing to me.
Lauren, I adore you and you are such an incredible person. So much I could say, but I am just speechless. I don’t have schizophrenia, but I do have PTSD and also a rare pre-menstrual disorder. And I must say that your story and your sharing really help me feel like I’m just a human too, and it’s okay to be experiencing what I’m experiencing. That I’m not alone, and that I can have quality of life, and I deserve to have quality of life. Sending so much love to you, and you’re quite a hero of mine. Much love from Vancouver Island 🇨🇦💛 I hope you’re able to get through what you’re going through last night and today with peace and gentle hope and kindness towards yourself.
Lauren hope you will feel better soon. You're in my heart.
Stay safe and strong in the struggle , you are amazinf
You are so strong and brave. God bless you.
Thank you for being so transparent with your videos. My son has been recently diagnosed with schizophrenia, and I went to You Tube to get some information on what it’s like living with this illness. Your videos has taught me how to communicate with my son better, and how to comfort him when he is having a difficult day. Thank you and thank you 🙏
Hello Katrina! We are on the same page.
I hope you're feeling better. Xo
Hi Lauren,
I'm sorry you experienced symptoms and I'm glad you are taking care of yourself. I hope with the self care, you won't be symptomatic for long. You really seem to be a wonderful and honest person, and I wish you all the best.