"What if I want to have a mental illness for ATTENTION?" | AKA 144
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 พ.ย. 2024
- This week Kati talks about expressing anger in a healthy way, what childhood emotional neglect is, and our fight / flight / freeze response. She also walks listeners through healing from childhood sexual abuse and going on to have a happy healthy sex life. We also dig into our need for attention, what to do when we miss an old therapist, and the difference between depression with anxiety and bipolar disorder. This and so much more in this week’s episode. xoxo
Ask Kati Anything ep. 144 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT
Audience questions:
1. A few videos back, someone asked a question about anger and how they struggle to express that emotion. Your response to them was something like, 'instead of trying to feel the emotion head on, first try to understand why you have a hard time expressing it, get to the root of it'...
2. I am a little confused about emotional neglect. I am intrigued by what you said that some individuals don't get their emotional needs met and as a result they can become emotionally neglected by parents or caregivers. But how about if we try our best and we think we are still doing...
3. This is a follow up to a questioned asked a while back about sex and dealing with csa. You had said something about discovering what feels right and what maybe feels off. After you had said that I noticed that foreplay seems to be easier to stay present...
4. I’m a CSA survivor and Sa survivor from college. Also, I’ve been sober for 9 years. However, since I got sober I really haven’t been able to be physically intimate with my husband. It’s not that I don’t want to at times, but...
5. I hope you’re well! (I asked that question before, but I think you didn’t answer it so I ask it again). Is there a way to get better if you want to be mentally ill for attention? I don’t think I can stop wanting to be mentally I’ll for attention....
6. Is it possible to go into the fight/ flight/ freeze response in therapy? Is it possible to be all 3 at once? In my last therapy session I got so angry because I felt my therapist really invalidated me. When I get this angry I...
7. Can you talk about missing a therapist while seeing a new one? I miss my old therapist quite frequently. I'll remember something that we talked about in session and just think man I still wish I saw her...
8. Could I have made up my thoughts and feelings? I'm sure my feelings are real every time I feel sad, but then when I feel okay again I'm convinced that I just made those moments up and they never actually happened...
9. I was wondering if you could talk about the differences between depression with anxious distress and bipolar disorder. I have struggled with depression for several years. The anxiety portion comes in waves but is almost always in response to something very stressful...
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Timestamps!
0:57 1. A few videos back, someone asked a question about anger and how they struggle to express that emotion. Your response to them was something like, 'instead of trying to feel the emotion head on, first try to understand why you have a hard time expressing it, get to the root of it'...
9:56 2. I am a little confused about emotional neglect. I am intrigued by what you said that some individuals don't get their emotional needs met and as a result they can become emotionally neglected by parents or caregivers. But how about if we try our best and we think we are still doing...
16:16 3. This is a follow up to a questioned asked a while back about sex and dealing with csa. You had said something about discovering what feels right and what maybe feels off. After you had said that I noticed that foreplay seems to be easier to stay present...
25:20 4. I’m a CSA survivor and Sa survivor from college. Also, I’ve been sober for 9 years. However, since I got sober I really haven’t been able to be physically intimate with my husband. It’s not that I don’t want to at times, but...
29:55 5. I hope you’re well! (I asked that question before, but I think you didn’t answer it so I ask it again). Is there a way to get better if you want to be mentally ill for attention? I don’t think I can stop wanting to be mentally I’ll for attention....
33:55 6. Is it possible to go into the fight/ flight/ freeze response in therapy? Is it possible to be all 3 at once? In my last therapy session I got so angry because I felt my therapist really invalidated me. When I get this angry I...
40:42 7. Can you talk about missing a therapist while seeing a new one? I miss my old therapist quite frequently. I'll remember something that we talked about in session and just think man I still wish I saw her...
43:59 8. Could I have made up my thoughts and feelings? I'm sure my feelings are real every time I feel sad, but then when I feel okay again I'm convinced that I just made those moments up and they never actually happened...
46:51 9. I was wondering if you could talk about the differences between depression with anxious distress and bipolar disorder. I have struggled with depression for several years. The anxiety portion comes in waves but is almost always in response to something very stressful...
@anniekate76. Thank you for the timestamps as always so helpful hope you're ok and you had a good Christmas
For many years, I had trouble expressing anger. I learned that the reason was that when I tried to express it as a child, I was sent to my room until "I could be around people".
17:50 This reminds me of when my university counseling centre gave brochures titled build your sexual consent sandwich🥪 so it looks like a menu and gives you choices. (what would you like today? what are your preferences? limitations? what safety measures do you take? Any extras?) it sounds really silly but I think it was a really creative way to explore and talk about boundaries with sex
I had an amazing therapist terminate me without warning after 3 years of working together. She said she didn't have the skills to help me. That was a few years ago. I talked about it with my current therapist, but I have never truly recovered. Losing a therapist is awful.
Loved all the variety of questions from this weeks episode
Definitely will try those tips to healthy express my anger, as someone who grew up with a mom who didn’t feel comfortable with emotions I never knew how to comfort others or validate others but I’m trying to learn now
I relate to the question about using our mental illness for attention, this is what we are exploring in my therapy now. I like the idea of trying to shock my therapist because it gives me comfort knowing he cares we have discovered that I do it unintentionally because if I get worse my therapist won’t leave me (I know major attachment/ abandonment issues lol)
The last question resonates with me I believe I may have bipolar 2 because I do have extremely depressive episodes but do have these moments of extreme energy, motivation, ideas, my sleep and eating habits completely change and I feel so irritable I can be a nightmare to be around but I’m diagnosed with adhd so it could be symptoms from that diagnosis I’ve tried to talk to my psychiatrist about this but he has a god complex and thinks he knows everything and doesn’t actual listen just pushes meds so when I talk to him I always feel stupid. It is odd to explain but it feels like there are two versions of myself and when I experience these moods it’s always so intense and sudden almost like a light switch being turned on and off. I do see a therapist every two- three weeks but he can’t diagnose because he’s a social worker I think I may have had a hypomanic episode in his office I don’t even remember what I said
Are people aware when they are hypomanic? Or is it just my adhd symptoms I have heard BP 2 is often misdiagnosed as MDD or adhd.
Just my random commentary love your videos Kati I learn something new every time I watch 💕
Going to get some rest since I’m writing this a 3am right now 😂
Ty so much for question 8 I hope I can gradually accept my depression after several months of self hatred,
denial, confusion and many more fucked up emotions or mostly lack thereoff. This is geniuenly a large cause of pain and Im frequently in my own head about it. Maybe its caused by my disconnect between logic and emotion and my overall disconnect to everything.
Heyy
So I have a question:
I am scared of almost anything and it's really exhausting to me. Most of my fears are "normal", like spiders and darkness. But I'm also scared of bathrooms, doors, stairs and mirrors. It's not like I get a panic attac if I enter a bathroom, I'm just scared that something isn't like it is supposed to be. I'm scared that something is there, and if I enter a room I always look around to see if something is wrong.
Is it normal to be scared of so many things? It is getting a bit better, but now I don't feel fear anymore. I act the same, but I just don't feel fear, even if it's normal in a situation. I don't know why this is happening. Also if someone tells me about their fears, I adapt it.
And I know my fears are weird, but please still respect it.
Do you have any tips for me or know why I could have so many fears? Or maby tips how I can feel fear again? I know this is a uncommon question, but I would be happy to get tips.
Have a nice day
Kati Morton. always interested in hearing about the difference between depression and anxiety so helpful and important ❤️❤️
AKA & OTDM podcast. good morning Kati after the week and Christmas iv had and what iv been feeling glad to finally listen and watch this new AKA podcast and to see you and hear your soft calming Voice love your black pattern top looks lovely on you iv had a horrible emotional Christmas I just haven't been able to be very happy or festive this Christmas I woke up Christmas day to find and see my neighbors cat laying dead in my back garden it was very upsetting and triggered my anxiety made me very emotional all Christmas day and boxing day my family helped burry the cat on top of that I haven't been sleeping well constantly eating too Meany Christmas snacks or hardly eating lastly just been wanting to drink hope you had a good Christmas Kati ❤️❤️
hi kati! i was s*xually ab*sed by my father when i was 11years old and it continued for further 2 years until i finally resisted his actions. i haven't told anyone about this because deep down i know nobody will believe me as he's a nice person otherwise. i fear that if others get to know this dark side of him,people are probably going to hate him and i dont want that cause afterall he's my father. since the abuse ive been keeping a distance from him because of the fear of being abused again. now whenever he tries to touch me(even in a fatherly way) i tend to move away without any immediate thinking and feel extremely ashamed and disgusted. i hate it when he shows concerns for me as he acts like he hasnt done anything for me to resist his "fatherly love". so recently he has been telling my mom that ive been rude with him and my behaviour is going bad. i cant even reach out for help because of the shaming of family and society. how can i deal with this without telling it to anyone?also how should i work on myself to improve my behaviour? ive also developed resentment towards males to avoid any kind of attraction as the fear of abandonment gets the best of me. is there any solution to this? love your videos
Hello and good morning everyone here in the comments sending care love and support your way I hope you managed to get though Christmas ok and you are able to take care of your mental health and do the self -care you needed to do 😥❤️❤️
She thought her depressive thoughts, not her good moments were made up, right? Did you read it backwards? Same thing happens to me. I can feel so horrible, but later when it lifts, I wonder if I made it all up .
I thought so, too
Hi AKA & OTDM podcast. I love the questions that were answered this podcast.
Has anyone ever not connected with their therapist? How did you switch therapist without having to reexplain the trauma. I am diagnosed with PTSD, Depression, and Anxiety. Which for me personally is a reason why I’m avoiding the switch. Thanks.
I don't question that I feel bad, but I have questioned my MOTIVATIONS for feeling bad: "Am I doing it for attention? for love? to avoid success? (maybe subconsciously?)". Then I realized: it doesn't matter. All that matters is how we feel and what we do.
Nobody knows what really goes on it the deep recesses of our brains, but that we are built to be selfish and conniving there's no doubt. I believe our ability to fool ourselves conferred an evolutionary advantage. For one thing, it's the ultimate way to beat a lie detector (human or machine). Fooling yourself that you could fight someone successfully might be the game-theoretic optimal strategy, if the opponent was counting on you being rational. They might just decide it's easier to go threaten someone more reasonable (almost like Kissenger's "madman strategy")
#1!!🎉😊
I really hate that I'm leaving this comment...
but I kinda wish #3 and #4 came with some type of timestamp warning about the sexually graphic language discussing SA and CSA trauma.
My anger helped me make it home from Iraq .. now it's all I feel
I relate to this.
Stay strong brother.
No you dont. End of discussion.
Don't what?
@@pixxie__ "What if I want to have a mental illness for ATTENTION?"
Where can one submit a question?
If you’ve got a question that you would like Kati to answer look on this channel on Sundays. She normally does a post at some point in the community tab. If you get it heartened of her it will be in the video two weeks after the post. She normally heartens the questions a day after the post. I hope I said nothing wrong 😅