How to Write Description That Immerses Your Reader
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 ก.ค. 2022
- Do you struggle to write descriptions that are short, sharp, and vividly immersive? It's no small task, this thing called "writing" - taking the images and ideas in our mind and painting a picture for your readers. That's why, in today's podcast, Abbie and I share our best advice for writing description (plus a special bonus printable to help you sharpen your prose and strengthen your technique.)
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Do you enjoy writing description or loathe it? Do you enjoy reading descriptions? Give us some examples of your favorite, well-written descriptions, we would love to hear them!
I really like writing descriptions! Sometimes I write too much during the first draft even though I know I'm going to cut out half of it :D. For my current WIP, I'm trying to get through the plot and dialogue with some description so I can write the first draft a bit faster. But for the second draft, I would add most of the description. My favorite description from one of my WIPs would be from an untitled fantasy novel I gave up on a while ago.
The pungent smell of pine and dirt masked the little girl’s scent. Birds chirped, and rodents scampered along the forest’s floor. The once crunchy leaves had turned soggy from the spring showers, giving her the best opportunity to hunt silently.
I don't know why. I just liked the feeling of these three sentences! I never edited it, so I'm sure it would have turned out better if I did.
I can't stand reading descriptions. In some of my favourite books, I skim through half the page to get to the good stuff
Descriptions is my absolutely favorite thing to write! (Other than dialogue XD)
@@worthfightingfor2299 Agreed! There's just something about it. I also love reading beautiful descriptions!
Marcel Proust is the king of descriptions in my mind 😅 he's an exception to the rule of keeping your descriptions short and to the point
It was Chekov, the playwright and screenwriter, "“If in the first act you have hung a pistol on the wall, then in the following one it should be fired. Otherwise don't put it there.” Love your content! Hope this helps.
Ooooooooouh. THAT'S Chekov's Gun 🤔🤔🤔
These days I’m finally understanding what to expect out of first drafts. Make it messy, make it fun, I like that!
In a one-year writing course I attended we focused a few weeks on screenplay, because our teacher had some experience with those. And one of the things he pointed out about description in scripts was to not state the why, because that was pointless if not properly conveyed on the screen anyway.
Ordinarily one might write:
"She pulled the jacket tight against the cold."
But the better way would be:
"She pulled the jacket tighter around her."
Because the viewer can't *know* that she's doing it because of the cold, they can only *infer* it from whatever else they see on screen. Snow, frost breath, her blowing on her bluetipped fingers and stuffing them under her armpits...
It stuck with me and I've never seen this tip anywhere else, but I think it's a good thing to keep in mind to achieve a bit of subtext.
One of the big mottos in film-writing there was, "if you can see it, don't state it."
There were also a game-design class at that place and we tried our hand at writing a text-based game too. That year taught me just how interconnected all artforms (especially written) really are, and how most techniques apply across contexts.
Love your discussions❤
The gun term you mentioned is called Chekov’s Gun, for anyone who wanted to look into it :)
A great example of the whole showing the gun in act 1 and firing it in act 3 would be The Shawshank Redemption. So many details were shown at first that became pivotal details in the end: the poster Andy requests, the rock hammer, Andy's bible, the rope, Andy's description of the rock in the hayfield in Buxton, even Andy shining the warden's shoes near the end.
“More of an internal moment”
Oh wow. That’s a beautiful way to make that advice work in my brain.
This was awesome! I love writing "Character's character descriptions." Their antics and behaviors and habits. That makes a novel too. Come on. A guy who licks his plate at a formal dinner, or a boy who slurps his chicken noodle soup really grounds you in the story.
This video came out at the perfect time!! I've been having a bit of trouble with descriptions lately while I've been working on my debut novel.
This really help, it has given me an idea to find stock images online that represent each scene and then try to describe what the picture feels like, and of course, season it in as you said.
If the Tea kettle is whistling and boiling over, it could be an excellent add-on to a scene in which the main character is dealing with something internally
YES!
This video is so timely. I was stuck with a scene and this is what I needed.
Great advice, love this. As for descriptions, I love the way Tana French's descriptions make me feel. The sensory detail really pulls me into the character's experience. ...And of course, Brandon Sanderson's fight scenes feel like watching a great action movie on the big screen.
this video was so helpful! especially the tip about character voice. Thank you for doing this podcast 🙌🏽💗
The gun example that Kate gave was actually by the Russian screenwriter Anton Chekhov. He has done a couple of guides on storytelling as well.
When I first saw the screen in the background I thought, "Why do they have a microwave oven behind them?"
"Chekov's gun" is what you're talking about around 29:00
This th-ee way, 😆, I am in the middle of another round of edits and this video came at the right time. Maybe it's the season for careful seasoning, lol. Appreciate you both! #staystoked #rockon
The idea of describing through the focus and lens of the POV character was a lightbilb moment but is there ever the case for using author's for descriptions or is this actually just another character POV; the narator?
Its an event for me whenever you post, Kate. We love ur videos and abbie.
Thank you Kate & Abby! First time viewing your podcast!
Ask Abby Emmons Writer's Life.
Thanks 👍 This topic is quite tricky and hard, but you help a lot. 💙
Gals, thank you for the great tips. You seem so successful. Congratulations!
One description that I found quite striking was the opening words of "Neuromancer" by William Gibson
“The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel.”
I have heard it said that the Cyberpunk genre started with that line.
Yeah that would only work in some genres ;) in some stories it's perfect though.
Taylor Swift is such a poet who often so carefully picks what she's comparing something to, because it's so weighty and she has so few words to do it in.
Omg the way you explained the character’s misbelief here, I think it finally clicked. :o
I love your podcast (also Abby's Videos) so much! You give so on point advice and you two are the first and only ones I encountered who show so well how to actually work with the techniques! My native language that I also write in is German, and even though it is a different book market and the language works different your advice is so helpful. You really opened my eyes to so many details that change so much. Thank you ❤️
Love this! So helpful!
Yaaaay for printables!!✨✨ such good advice guys. Currently I am writing in third POV but it is very close third so the tips about character voice were very relevant and very helpful💛🌻💛
Salient details/descriptions spread through the narrative build images in the reader's mind. "Cropping everything else out," like you said.
This was soooo good!
Thank you dear ones! You are doing so much to help us!! Thank you!!!!
Loooove this! Thank you!
Amazing I did it You made my day Thank you!!
Thank you for the valuable information; I think I Grew up watching Mission Impossible. I get what you’re saying about the tension building.🙂
Great insights.
I'm practicing trying to describe you gals' facial expressions and body language. It's not as easy as I thought. Cheers!!!
I have always found it so boring to read long descriptions... I loved the "Read scripts" tip.
I wish I had that orientation. My mind likes to jump strsight into action and I struggle to know when to add description. I feel that sometimes description is just a hurdle to pass.
Maybe you can just write all the action in your scene and get it all out of your system. (Similar to what they were saying to do with description.) Then go back through it and imagine yourself in the scene, line by line. What do you see or notice? Can you pepper in little tidbits that will make the reader see what you see? ...a cobble stone path? The glint of a knife or how it sounds when it's unsheathed, the drop of dark blood that seems to slowly fall to the ground, etc.
@@stephaniedalportofantasy Thank you Stephanie! I will try to do that. :)
I've seen a lot of people say the first draft is to make it exist, the 2nd draft is to make it make sense and 3rd is to share.
The gun on the wall is called Chekoff's gun. It is from a play.
Never stop a session that is flowing naturally..
Clean up later for sure
Is becoming economical in scene description (while still trying to paint the 'vivid picture') seem more like gravitating toward screen writing? I'm so new to the process and every video helps me, leaps and bounds. TIA
So, this is for anyone who can help me answer this question. At 12:56 in the video, Abbie said something about alpha readers. I have never heard of alpha readers, I've heard of beta readers and ARC readers, but never alpha readers. What are alpha readers and what do they do? Thank you to anyone who can help!
🙏Right. In fact "Ramayana" is a detailed representation of the mantra "suryagayathri"-You can feel the attributes of Sun,from start to finish.It is focused to Sun himself.
I would say if one wants to write a screenplay, then write a screenplay. Just don't confuse it genre fiction. Otherwise, one is commercializing genre fiction.
Because if it is better to have more to work with, then a screenplay can be adapted from genre fiction, which would be better than genre fiction trying to emulate a screenplay.
Less is more in screenplays is to save time during direction of a film, to which the visuals or descriptions in film is at the discretion of the director and or creative director. Not the script writer, which is why there are also less descriptions in screenplays.
This is not the case for fictional writing, especially literary fiction. If anything, genre fiction is somewhat the middle ground between literary fiction and screenplays. Either way though, descriptions in genre fiction are at the discretion of the author, to which style does affect how descriptions are conveyed in the story.
Hey Abbie, I just tried to buy your scrivener MasterClass, but your link/page is being funny. Apple transaction went fine, but there’s no follow up email, the page didn’t change, so no link to access class. Am I missing something?
My GMS soft like a motor bike! pls tell WHAT to do ?
what if one of the major factors of the book is to describe the scene/world
Your blunt character made me think of this "When I first saw her was the first time in my life i actually thought and noticed things...everything about her was engraved in my brain."
Plot idea - a man who always jumped before he looked to a man who is ridden with anxiety and overthinking to a man who is happy and content
There was a very strange feature in this case, strange because of its extremely rare occurrence. This man had once been brought to the scaffold in company with several others, and had had the sentence of death by shooting passed upon him for some political crime. Twenty minutes later he had been reprieved and some other punishment substituted; but the interval between the two sentences, twenty minutes, or at least a quarter of an hour, had been passed in the certainty that within a few minutes he must die. I was very anxious to hear him speak of his impressions during that dreadful time, and I several times inquired of him as to what he thought and felt. He remembered everything with the most accurate and extraordinary distinctness, and declared that he would never forget a single iota of the experience. ‘About twenty paces from the scaffold, where he had stood to hear the sentence, were three posts, fixed in the ground, to which to fasten the criminals (of whom there were several). The first three criminals were taken to the posts, dressed in long white tunics, with white caps drawn over their faces, so that they could not see the rifles pointed at them. Then a group of soldiers took their stand opposite to each post. My friend was the eighth on the list, and therefore he would have been among the third lot to go up. A priest went about among them with a cross: and there was about five minutes of time left for him to live. ‘He said that those five minutes seemed to him to be a most interminable period, an enormous wealth of time; he seemed to be living, in these minutes, so many lives that there was no need as yet to think of that last moment, so that he made several arrangements, dividing up the time into portions-one for saying farewell to his companions, two minutes for that; then a couple more for thinking over his own life and career and all about himself; and another minute for a last look around. He remembered having divided his time like this quite well. While saying good- bye to his friends he recollected asking one of them some very usual everyday question, and being much interested in the answer. Then having bade farewell, he embarked upon those two minutes which he had allotted to looking into himself; he knew beforehand what he was going to think about. He wished to put it to himself as quickly and clearly as possible, that here was he, a living, thinking man, and that in three minutes he would be nobody; or if somebody or something, then what and where? He thought he would decide this question once
for all in these last three minutes. A little way off there stood a church, and its gilded spire glittered in the sun. He remembered staring stubbornly at this spire, and at the rays of light sparkling from it. He could not tear his eyes from these rays of light; he got the idea that these rays were his new nature, and that in three minutes he would become one of them, amalgamated somehow with them. ‘The repugnance to what must ensue almost immediately, and the uncertainty, were dreadful, he said; but worst of all was the idea, ‘What should I do if I were not to die now? What if I were to return to life again? What an eternity of days, and all mine! How I should grudge and count up every minute of it, so as to waste not a single instant!’ He said that this thought weighed so upon him and became such a terrible burden upon his brain that he could not bear it, and wished they would shoot him quickly and have done with it.’¹
Chekhov's gun is what theyre talking about!
I think the gun quote about using it later if shown innocently now may have been Alfred Hitchcock. Great show!
There’s a phrase, “Chekhov’s gun” and it comes from Anton Chekhov, whose advice was if you describe a gun on the mantlepiece in another scene you better have the reader’s expectation, that it will go off, be fulfilled. Ideally (iirc) in the next scene.
Although focusing on the envelope is important wouldn't the room be extremely bland if you don't describe the room to some extent?
As the reader of your story I see your character currently standing in an empty room with nothing but a piece of mail and a table until you say something else. Like you said prior, you are controlling what the reader can see and if you describe only one thing and nothing else that's the only thing that exists until you bring up other things. I can imagine the house is full of things and assume there are things in it but that's an assumption and that doesn't mean those things actually exist there. That's speculation form the reader if they make that assumption. You have to steer them toward what the room looks like.
Oh come on, what are you talking about??
You cannot possibly deduce from a screenplay to a Book! The two are completely different and separated things. You cannot write one like you would write the other, the only similarity between them is that both have written words on paper!
👍👍👍👍👍👍
@@oliviacadena2036 😍
Books for you to study descriptions from:
How to use the history of a space to describe it - "The Handmaid's Tale" by Margaret Outwood
How differentiate character voices and think up unique abstract metaphors that somehow make sense - "Shatter Me" series by Tahereh Mafi
How to slow down time and create a sense of serenity and melancholy by drawing the eye to little details, and how to describe fuzzy feelings, longing and heartache - "Fortuna Sworn" series by K. J. Sutton
How to describe majestic fairytale characters and environments with precise word choices - "The Folk of The Air" series (aka The Cruel Prince) and its spinoffs by Holly Black
How to describe art and melancholic, lived-in places - basically book by V. E. Schwab
How to describe vivid, wondrous places - "The Night Circus" and "The Starless Sea" by Erin Morgenstern
How to describe terrifyingly relatable anxiety and delicious cities - "To Bleed A Crystal Bloom" series by Sarah A. Parker
How to describe lucid dreamscapes - "Strange The Dreamer" duology by Laini Taylor
How to write demonic, monstrous, dark academy - "Alex Stern" series (aka Ninth House) by Leigh Bardugo
And finally, on our how NOT to do it list:
How to write tedious, convoluted, nebulous, woolgathering, abstract descriptions of physical sensations - "Caraval" series by Stephanie Garber
How to be way too repetitive and often repulsive in describing sex scenes - "A Court of Silver Flames" by Sarah J. Maas
How to rant over way too many unnecessary details that would make you want to skip ahead - "The Hobbit" by J. R. R. Tolkien (and probably his other books too, but I haven't read them so idk)
How to confuse your reader in general - "All The Pretty Monsters" series by Kristy Cunning