Hey everyone, in hindsight a lot of this definitely does seem like a draft and it could use some refinements, however we hope you liked our ideas for a potential rewrite! We know SQM is still a long way off from starting any official rewrites, we just thought we’d get our ideas out there. And thank you all so much for over 900 subscribers!!
Very nice! This rewrite elevated Tygren from my least favourite to most favourite villain in the series. I'm never a fan of villains in the first part of a story trilogy becoming less and less important as the story moves on, so I'm glad that Tygren remains just as important throughout. And then when you think he's becoming less important in Season 3... bam! He becomes the catalyst for the end of the Voltaris. Looking forward to what you have to say about the other characters if you decide to continue your re-write. Especially with Igneous.. one character I felt that got shafted and almost abandoned in the later seasons.
Yes I'd love an Ingressus vs Tygren dynamic, i remember when season 1 ended i was so excited to see those two interact. Small suggestion: maybe have Deltheus also get injured at the battle of meridian (specifically by Herobrine since he'd be the most scary opponent Deltheus could face) but the idea being, Deltheus is wounded because of Tygrens negligence and now he's got something to resent Tygren for too and a reason to trust Ingressus more. Idk maybe it could even lead to Deltheus and Lucidius killing eachother in the throne room
The story with Ingressus and Tygren could be so intense and interesting I love it because in panel 2 in the current script we hardly heard anything more about Tygren except for the fight in the vault
This is one of the best rewrites I’ve ever seen, I loved every single character development Ria and Senn experienced and seeing Tygren get what he deserves, chefs kiss. I can’t wait to draw the scenes :)
Certainly interesting. The rewrite is indeed a rewrite (though be it a „draft“ as you call it). My favourite character is Ingressus and when you went ahead and gave Tygren a rebellion I was like „could we not“ but things turned out how they were supposed to (at least from my perspective). As someone who spent the last two weeks working on Songs of War texture packs for Minecraft, compiling multiple packs into one, implementing Ingressus‘ Sword, Thalleous‘ Sword and Achillean‘s Staff I really appreciate it that this fandom still has active people and with the revival… who knows what might happen. Have a nice day.
Yeah, the original animators already said that spinoffs for songs of war are in the works and that they might do season 2 and 3. This might revive the series
The original script feels as though David was so caught up in writing the secondary characters (like Thalleous and Ingressus), that he forgot and rushed through writing the mains, quickly adding two mundane teenage protagonists. (I do not mean to offend anyone). I remember watching Songs of War S1 for the first time and I said to myself, "Wait... so who was supposed to be the main character???". That being said, the rewritten versions of Senn, Ria, and Tygren are fantastic -- it would incredibly interesting to explore the mentor-student relationship between Tidesinger and Ria, and I agree, it is more fitting for the Tidesinger to be the leader of KoA, instead of Ria. A conflict within the Voltaris clan would be exciting too! They definately deserve more screentime -- especially in the second season.
This is a cool video. I don't know how to write but I'd like to offer some suggestions lol Firstly, I feel like you should consider the way that the person feels about Ingressus towards the end. To me, the ending scene with Ingressus felt like a large reveal and it felt that everything in the series was leading up to it. It was built up really well, and that's what made it hit so hard. I think it's important not to reveal too much about Ingressus too early because that would take away from the impact of the big reveal. One thing that I have always thought about Ingressus is that he has acted out of reason. What would get him closer to his goals? I feel like somehow the part where he attacks Tygren should be somehow modified to reflect Ingressus's voice of reason. He has always valued the lives of his clanmates, and Tygren should be no exception, especially since pure-blooded Voltaris are in dwindling numbers at this point. In addition, I think it would be cool if also there was a ceremony for burial. I feel like it would be important for Senn's character if he decided to give a proper burial for every ardoni under the Voltaris, including Ingressus, Almrak, and Deltheus, but also the extremists such as Tygren, Lucidius, etc. I feel that this kind of proper burial could come from a place of understanding of the suffering and hardship that the Voltaris went through and how that made them the people they were. And if Senn hadn't been with good people and good company and mentorship, he would have wanted to do similar things as the people he despised. Not to mention, there are other characters that I would like to see more out of. The ardoni plotline is by far the most interesting plot line, and I feel like around the board every other character could be improved, from Lucan, Nikka, Abbigail, Pythus, Vulcannus, Xaria, Xan, Kiyoshi, etc. Especially Kiyoshi because he's supposed to be an important tragic character, according to the commentary.
Heya CK Voltaris! Its been a while! A friend of mine suggested watching your videos and I gotta say! I love what you've been cooking! Keep up the amazing work! :D
Alright I'm doing this now: 0:31 _inhales_ WE BELIEVE THAT TIME IS COMING AGAIN 1:54 not just his village, the place he was _named_ after 2:13 Senn paralleling Thalleous in the beginning is actually such an amazing idea holy songs 2:38 Rebellious teenager Senn still existing post S1 cool 3:15 MESSENGER BIRDS 4:09 Lol- 4:20 LET'S GO SENN AND RIA ACTUALLY HAVING CHARACTER ARCS 5:09 especially when you canonically pass out the first time using one, like that's just called being a sitting duck 6:13 so Senn learnt coping mechanisms? 6:44 "at first" WAIT WE GETTING TYGREN REBELLING? 7:21 oh yeah remember everyone, they're _teenagers_ 7:35 This scene is going to live in my head rent free thank you 7:58 he was going to say "wait a minute before we commit fratricide" (Ardoni consider clanmates brothers/sisters) 8:23 Ingressus: * shows mercy* Literally everyone else: * confused noises* 9:11 FORESHADOWING 9:31 as she should lol 10:10 ah yeah, the story really seems to forget that LITERAL TIME TRAVEL is part of this storyline 10:37 You're telling me that Tygren knew Deltheus and did not make the connection to Senn? (The way he taunts Senn at Meridian would imply that he never made the connection in cannon) 11:10 reverse Achillean. Tygren is scared of the _Deathisnger_ but sees _Ingressus_ as weak. Like only perspective where someone prefers DS over Ingressus 11:43 LET'S GO THE DYNAMIC THAT WOULD'VE HAD A WHOLE SPINOFF 12:01 OH MY GOODNESS THAT IS GOLDEN- 12:35 Oooo interesting 13:42 OH GOD AND ACHILLEAN TOLD AEGUS TO KILL INGRESSUS AND ACHILLEAN IS RIGHT THERE- wait it's also at Crown Peak, where Senn would later learn the truth, so his arc came literally full circle 15:14 Hubris: Ria, your spear is enchanted but not with _LOYALTY_ !!! 15:30 Literally "HOW DID YOU MISS HE WAS FIVE FEET INFRONT OF YOU???" 16:07 well if that happened that handover of Voltar would be hella awkward 16:36 ah yes, ye olde MUTUALLY ASSURED DESTRUCTION 17:06 "but one must also balance fear with respect" 18:25 LET'S GO CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT 18:39 Ah yes, that momet when Senn pulls an Ingressus and says Achillean 19:59 Cold War is funny considering, y'know they live in the mountains 20:14 Tygren: "You were playing chess while I was learning what en passant is" 21:45 Wait but wouldn't Deltheus also follow Tygren, so did he also survive Meridian 22:48 wait but Ingressus is allied with Vulcannus- WELL THAT ONE SCENE IS ABOUT TO BE ABSOLUTELY CHAOTIC 23:06 SIBLING GOALS 23:46 WAIT THE ATARAXIA SLAUGHTER BUT THE KOA IS PRESENT WHAT 24:19 WAIT THALLEOUS ALSO TOLD SENN TO RUN. PARALLEL FOUND. 24:38 Definitely Deltheus, there's no other reason to cover markings 25:03 Called it! 25:11 I LOVE HOW THIS HAPPENS EARLIER THAN IN CANON... MORE TIME FOR SENN TO HAVE DEVELOPMENT 25:25 "they're brothers, your honour" 26:05 Ria: "I was right... OH SONGS I WAS RIGHT WHY-" 27:31 "well if this ain't awkward" 28:06 You know chaos is ensuing when a man called The _Deathsinger_ is the voice of reason 28:16 love this scene 28:31 HOW DO YOU OPEN A DOOR TWICE CK? 29:04 I love how Ingressus is trying to do an interrogation and Senn's reaction is just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 30:20 ALMRAK BEING THE LEVELHEADED ONE 30:35 "Open Arms" * EPIC: The Musical flashbacks* 33:19 KALTARIA ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING RELEVANT FOR ONCE 33:45 Nestoris masters being the voices of reason 33:57 THANK YOU 34:31 NICE CONNECTION 34:36 "Huh, guess this is how Senn felt" 34:43 Called it 34:58 WAIT THEY MEET IN SENDARIA 36:10 WAIT WHAT I LOST COUNT OF THE SONGS 36:21 SIBLING GOALS 36:54 ALMRAK'S VIEW 37:00 CALLED IT 37:09 NO GO WITH HIM DON'T DIEEEEE 37:33 I can bet that Ingressus was having flashbacks to when he ran away from Aegus after Achillean intervened 37:59 HERE WE GO 38:21 WAIT SENN REPRESENTS THE VOLTARIS AND RIA THE REST OF ARDONIA 38:52 IT'S THE INGRESSUS VS ACHILLEAN BUT IT'S THEIR APPRENTICES(???) 39:35 siblingsssss 39:47 THEY PARALLEL THE VOLTARIS AND ARDONIA RELATIONSHIP, they got along well in the beginning (Pre-Exile), brought eachother to their kness (FGW & SGW) before accepting that they both messed up (Post-S3). I might be reading to deep into this 42:03 This ain't a double crossing, this is a freaking knitted scarf 42:31 OH GOD IT'S TYGREN'S FAULT NOW 43:05 DAMNIT I WAS GOING TO MAKE THAT JOKE 43:47 NICE LOREEEE 44:56 WELL IF THAT AIN'T CONFUSING CONSIDERING THAT SWORD HAS SPILT A HELL OF A LOT OF VOLTARIS BLOOD BUT I'LL DIGRESS 45:15 oh ok, GO FOR IT SENN! 46:24 honestly, this hits harder now that this isn't their second full conversation with eachother 47:22 NESTORIS MASTERS BEING THE VOICE OF REASON (ALSO BECAUSE HE PROBABLY HAD AEGUS' MEMORIES) 47:22 I've been saying this for a while, _this_ would be the scene which brings the Voltaris arc full circle, as it parallels the confrontation between Ingressus and the Old Masters at the tournament 47:24 Ingressus line spotted 47:42 and now I ask you to recall the heavily memed Thalleous line: "perhaps the truth will help you find peace", because in a way Senn did use the truth to find peace, and not just peace within himself but peace for the entire Voltaris clan 48:17 WAIT INGRESSUS AND ACHILLEAN RECONCILED THROUGH SENN AND RIA 50:03 MESSENGER BIRDS 50:08 GALLEOUS YOU DID NOT I adored this! Amazing! I probably went way too deep lol
@@CK-Voltaris I'm so proud of myself lol. But honestly, were you thinking of Senn and Ria representing the Voltaris and Ardonia or did I just look way too deep into it?
Phenomenal. Truly amazing. I love how this turns what was a very plot driven story in the unfinished S2&3 and turned it into what S1 is, a journey of our three protagonists through a world that changes very much for them. If you and your team are willing to do other characters, might I suggest Igneous and Abbigail? Igneous just felt left out in the whole of S2&3 and Abbigail for obvious reasons. Wonderful video, and great job to all those who helped make it!
I was skeptical going into this, but wow there was so much symmetry and symbolism that I absolutely loved! Ria and Senn being the redeemed versions of Tidesinger and Deathsinger is so poetic. Really really cool stuff!
This is so good! I had many of the same ideas about Tygren, but the way your rewrite executes them is chef’s kiss. I love the storyline you gave him. Ria and Senn are great too.
The moment Ingressus finally had enough of Tygren is peak. Its like the moment Abbigail lost Sam but times 1000x, Tygren hits Ingressus with a Argoblast that can litterally kill magnorites and Ingressus just walks it off due to sheer rage, It would have got hard to see Tygren eyes relize that he is absolutely fucked as Ingressus rushes like he did at Achillean in Season 1 screaming at Tygren only for tygren to barely last long and Suffer from burns kind of like Anakin in starwars after Obi wan Defeated him only except Obi Wan was blood lusted.
This is a great rewrite idea video, I also have small ideas for character details, mostly for the Tidepo... I mean Tidesinger. Like have Senn catch him fishing alone before or slightly after the Meridien battle with a fishing rod on the ground next to him and when Senn inquires about it he finds out that fishing rod was once the Deathsingers and that the Tidesinger is hoping he can close his eyes and be in Nestoria fishing with his brother Ingressus and that while the Tidesinger still sees Ingressus as his brother, but hates that the Deathsinger is making him do this. Then later after the Deathsinger kills the Tidesinger he tell Senn that very same thing, that he sees the Tidesinger as his brother but hated that Achilian made him do this and Senn throws it right back at him by saying that he (Ingressus) did it, to which Ingressus doesn't really want to that, knowing very well Senn would be right Also to add to your ideas Ingressus after he has all four primes could not start feeling safe or happy, but empty knowing all to well what it took him to get them back and that it's all on him
Having Ingressus also sitting and fishing with a second rod would make such a great gut punch if that were in there. As if the two were of the same mind despite their differences.
I like this a lot bc I was thinking the same thing, I think a few other characters like pythus, Necrolord, scorch and many should get this type of treatment, especially pythus as for the main and final villain of songs of war he came off less as a threat and more of a spoiled man child who got clowned on at every turn.
yes, especially pythus and the necrolord. pythus just up and kills the necrolord before we really know all too much about him. pythus himself seems to just let the voltaris do all the heavy lifting while he and his nether hordes sit back and watch
Fantastic. The rewriting of the best characters in this series was close to perfection. I look forward to the next rewrite. Good luck in your endeavors. :) I need to join this rewrite team. I've been away for too long for this community and I desire my silent voice to be finally heard.
I loved this rewrite video! After watching this I started to understand some characters and their goals even better. I hope Squared Media is going to use these rewrites cuz they´re just so good and I love the fact that Tygren is going against the Deathsinger and tries to earn the leadership by killing Ingressus and claiming Voltar.🙏🤩💯 Like✅ Subscribe✅ Leave a comment✅ Share✅
All of your analysis have been so great I am looking forward to see all of the rewrites you may do this rewrite has so much care into it I think squared media should definitely take some of your ideas,basically let’s just say “ITS A GOOD REWRITE!”
thaaaank you for giving tygren more of a character in the later seasons. i was really disappointed to see him sidelined and i thought that he would be frustrated with ingressus’s leadership due to how different their ideals are. i really enjoyed the video
Abigail surviving death not once, but TWICE is another thing that needs fixed. I like her character, the first time I can allow, but her surviving a second time is what gets me. Maybe in the final battle with Vulcannus and puthus, if Pythus starts destroying ender crystals, that would make the fight more intense. The Necrolord is such a cool villain, I do love the idea of the nether just killing him and taking his army, but I wish they would have used him more. I do like the rewrites you have made. Having Tygren question everything Ingressis does is interesting. Ria no longer being a mary sue, and actually caring for her knights was something very needed.
Ria is my favorite Ardonie and i love what you did with her in this re-write! the og reveal of her survival really rubbed me the wrong way in the original draft, it felt like they wanted a twist reveal so bad that they sacrificed logic, why would she go on missions on her own when she is part of a team? Why would she meet up with her team on the missions site instead of their hideout? And it makes no sense for her to be the leader while she is a literal child with barely any fighting or leadership skills, it's so much more satisfying to watch her rise up into that position over her arc. Little changes i would have made (that are probably beyond the scope of this video): -drop the 'Ardonie female are rarer' thing, it makes no sense and serve no purpose other than reasoning why Ria's father is so protective of her. which you can explain instead with the fact that he is, you know, her dad. Espessially if she is his only child, you dont have to resort to incel-style reasoning that she cant fight because she has responsibilities such as pumping out Ardonie babies in order to prevent the species and the clan from going extinct -Ria's spear get enchanted off-screan between season 1 and 2 iirc, which undermines the idea that enchanted weapons are very rare and special and you need an experienced enchater to enchanted even weapons that are made from low-grade meterials like Ria's. Instead i think it would be more intreasting to save that power-up for later in the series, maybe tie it to the Ender-knights' arc by having Saxon be the one who enchants it for her, making it the first proper weapon he manages to enchant (Saxon is the guy who got chosen to be an Ender-knight as their enchanter, he is very much in training at the point of his intruduction, and he doesnt get to grow at all because the original director of the show wanted to keep his arc for a future spinoff, but i dont think that allowing Saxon to enchant one iron weapon leaves him with no room to grow)
I frickin love listening to your thoughts. It's just amazing Uhm. Why aren't you, JesusAlex and GetScribbled a part of the scripting team? They could really use your brains :>
Oh, yes. This is beautiful. At first i like, 'Yes! I love this new direction!' and then I was like, 'Why are you revealing all of you're cards? surprises are the best way to experience a story!' then at the end i went 'Oh, you're trying to convince people to invest in it, ok' and I suppose the first creator people did kind of spoil a lot of it but ... psshh ... I don't think you had to go THIS hard... ah, whatever. if this gets the right support and creativity, the final product 'ought to be just as immersive as this was/is.... at least I hope it will be. (plus, there are still some characters from season 1 that have yet to be inter-woven into the story somewhere.)
If you added some things about how curious the voltaris were and that was why they were slaughtered, in the og script there is also nods to the possibility that the voltaris made the prime songs
I certainly like this version a lot more, great job! What I didn't like about the original script is that deathsinger never got a hold of all the prime songs. Now that he did in this version, it makes us take him seriously and recognize him as a real threat. Making deathsinger absolutely annihilate tygren is definetely on of my favourite changes. Just hearing it makes me excited, can't imagine how the actual fight scene would be I will always dislike that he dies in the final battle, but it is probably the best haha, i just love his character. Also, what happens to the prime songs in the end?
@@buddypatzbudpat5760 When Deathsinger dies, the Primes wouldve been recovered by Senn and the others, and would probably get locked up like in the script
Incorrect Quotes for this Rewrite *Somewhere in the afterlife* Dominus: Your children got into a fight with my son. And Tygren. Osivian, worried: Are they alright?! Thalleous, curious: Did they win? Lucidius: *Taps table* Tygren: *Taps table in response* Ingressus: Stop that. Lucidius: Why? Ingressus: I know you are plotting against me in morse code Tygren: Yes, that is what we are doing. In our very limited free time, we took a class on a very outdated, very unnecessary form just so we could talk about you in front of you. *Later* Tygren, to Pythus: That is… exactly what we did. Ingressus: The plan is kind of changing so we’re just going to take you with us. Senn: Am I being kidnapped? Ingressus: No, no, no. Senn: Can I leave? Ingressus: No.
Wait, this just made me realise, a lot of the voltaris seem younger than the end of the war, and for over a hundred years, Ingressus, and therefore Voltar were not available, so how did those ardoni get initiated into the clan, even if we assume that all the voltaris we see ARE that old, what about senn's siblings? Are they that much older than him?
I think Senn and his siblings are very close in age. The implications of Voltar being gone was never discussed in canon, but my theory is if both parents are from the same clan then their kids’ markings will have their clan’s colors
Ooh, I didn't think of that, that would actually resolve it fairly nicely, also, might add an element to why the other clans would be less willing to accept senn as a clanless ardoni.
Nobody: Ingressus interrupting literally everyone from hurting Senn: (This is a joke considering how this happened twice with Tygren and once with Pythus lol)
This story explained feels 10x more epic without the Felden Arc butting in every few scenes. I'm not a hater, I do like elements of it. But, I still believe it was more suited as one of the aformentioned spinoffs. It has its own good solid story, but pales in comparison to the main Ardoni plotline. Sorry for yapping, but hope I got my message across.👍
Yeah, the Felden Arc was literally stated in the S3 commentary that it was always going to be a (mostly) independent arc, but honestly, that makes the entire Felden Arc obsolete/ not much narrative value.
The only thing I would change from this, is have Ria throw her spear to kill Tygren, to not only have a parallel between thalleous and give him a moment to realize just how he lost, it'd also give Ria more growth as it'd be her way to make up for what happened in crown peak after missing the wither skeleton. That's just my thoughts.
Nice rewrites but, if you make Galleus die to the Deathsinger using a single powerblast, I think there is a lot of plot armor to Tygren surviving multiple along with falling into fire. Plus, I am sure that if this guy could even survive all of this, which is already crazy, a Netheran guard would probably notice him and cut him off there.
Peak rewrite I feel like these characters werent given much attention in sow But however, I feel like tygren is a little rational, so i dont think he would side with the person who genocides voltaris, if you get what i mean Also, some parts could be a little tweaked to make it less extreme
Not sure how much one episode would cost, but they probably would need around $300,000 to make the entire seasons 2-3 (take that number with a grain of salt, it’s just my rough estimate)
I am no animator “I’m “A Miner, butcher or a baker” I’m just a simple author who’s been writing a book designed to be a prequel to SoW. But I can say that you CK Voltaris have shown you and your companions know how to create these unfinished chronicles. 🥲
Hey everyone, in hindsight a lot of this definitely does seem like a draft and it could use some refinements, however we hope you liked our ideas for a potential rewrite! We know SQM is still a long way off from starting any official rewrites, we just thought we’d get our ideas out there.
And thank you all so much for over 900 subscribers!!
Loved it!
Why do you have under 1,000 subscribers?! You need 10K!!
Ye ye your right
this was great u could rewrite pythus or necrolord next
Adding this to my watch list for when we start talking about rewriting S2&3 early next year! Keep up the good work with the video essays. -Matt
@@SquaredMediaYT Thank you so much, it means a lot to me!
@@CK-Voltariscongrats on being noticed by SQM!
@@CK-Voltaristhat’s gotta be a big deal to get commented by The creators of songs of war!
Wow.. 😮
Yes that's what I'm talking about
Ingressus: “You were my clanmate Tygren. I loved you. I loved you all.”
Tygren: “I HATE YOU”
@@DarthIngressus
"It's over Tygren, I have the high ground"
@Zzzzzack Tygen: “you underestimate my power!”
Very nice! This rewrite elevated Tygren from my least favourite to most favourite villain in the series. I'm never a fan of villains in the first part of a story trilogy becoming less and less important as the story moves on, so I'm glad that Tygren remains just as important throughout. And then when you think he's becoming less important in Season 3... bam! He becomes the catalyst for the end of the Voltaris.
Looking forward to what you have to say about the other characters if you decide to continue your re-write. Especially with Igneous.. one character I felt that got shafted and almost abandoned in the later seasons.
Thank you Thomas, glad you liked the video!!
Yes I'd love an Ingressus vs Tygren dynamic, i remember when season 1 ended i was so excited to see those two interact.
Small suggestion: maybe have Deltheus also get injured at the battle of meridian (specifically by Herobrine since he'd be the most scary opponent Deltheus could face) but the idea being, Deltheus is wounded because of Tygrens negligence and now he's got something to resent Tygren for too and a reason to trust Ingressus more.
Idk maybe it could even lead to Deltheus and Lucidius killing eachother in the throne room
The story with Ingressus and Tygren could be so intense and interesting I love it because in panel 2 in the current script we hardly heard anything more about Tygren except for the fight in the vault
This is one of the best rewrites I’ve ever seen, I loved every single character development Ria and Senn experienced and seeing Tygren get what he deserves, chefs kiss. I can’t wait to draw the scenes :)
Certainly interesting. The rewrite is indeed a rewrite (though be it a „draft“ as you call it). My favourite character is Ingressus and when you went ahead and gave Tygren a rebellion I was like „could we not“ but things turned out how they were supposed to (at least from my perspective). As someone who spent the last two weeks working on Songs of War texture packs for Minecraft, compiling multiple packs into one, implementing Ingressus‘ Sword, Thalleous‘ Sword and Achillean‘s Staff I really appreciate it that this fandom still has active people and with the revival… who knows what might happen.
Have a nice day.
Yeah, the original animators already said that spinoffs for songs of war are in the works and that they might do season 2 and 3. This might revive the series
1:13 You can just call me Asher. And it's an honor to be part of the forging of these ideas.
The original script feels as though David was so caught up in writing the secondary characters (like Thalleous and Ingressus), that he forgot and rushed through writing the mains, quickly adding two mundane teenage protagonists. (I do not mean to offend anyone). I remember watching Songs of War S1 for the first time and I said to myself, "Wait... so who was supposed to be the main character???".
That being said, the rewritten versions of Senn, Ria, and Tygren are fantastic -- it would incredibly interesting to explore the mentor-student relationship between Tidesinger and Ria, and I agree, it is more fitting for the Tidesinger to be the leader of KoA, instead of Ria. A conflict within the Voltaris clan would be exciting too! They definately deserve more screentime -- especially in the second season.
This is a cool video. I don't know how to write but I'd like to offer some suggestions lol
Firstly, I feel like you should consider the way that the person feels about Ingressus towards the end. To me, the ending scene with Ingressus felt like a large reveal and it felt that everything in the series was leading up to it. It was built up really well, and that's what made it hit so hard. I think it's important not to reveal too much about Ingressus too early because that would take away from the impact of the big reveal.
One thing that I have always thought about Ingressus is that he has acted out of reason. What would get him closer to his goals? I feel like somehow the part where he attacks Tygren should be somehow modified to reflect Ingressus's voice of reason. He has always valued the lives of his clanmates, and Tygren should be no exception, especially since pure-blooded Voltaris are in dwindling numbers at this point.
In addition, I think it would be cool if also there was a ceremony for burial. I feel like it would be important for Senn's character if he decided to give a proper burial for every ardoni under the Voltaris, including Ingressus, Almrak, and Deltheus, but also the extremists such as Tygren, Lucidius, etc. I feel that this kind of proper burial could come from a place of understanding of the suffering and hardship that the Voltaris went through and how that made them the people they were. And if Senn hadn't been with good people and good company and mentorship, he would have wanted to do similar things as the people he despised.
Not to mention, there are other characters that I would like to see more out of. The ardoni plotline is by far the most interesting plot line, and I feel like around the board every other character could be improved, from Lucan, Nikka, Abbigail, Pythus, Vulcannus, Xaria, Xan, Kiyoshi, etc. Especially Kiyoshi because he's supposed to be an important tragic character, according to the commentary.
Great video!
@@zilleyon Thank you so much!!
Heya CK Voltaris!
Its been a while!
A friend of mine suggested watching your videos and I gotta say! I love what you've been cooking! Keep up the amazing work! :D
27:57 Tygren is the only older Ardonia male beefing with teenagers like Senn 😂
Ingressus getting interrupted every time he tries to explain himself has to be a running gag in season 2. Peak fiction.
This is great, ima sub. I can’t believe I haven’t already
Alright I'm doing this now:
0:31 _inhales_ WE BELIEVE THAT TIME IS COMING AGAIN
1:54 not just his village, the place he was _named_ after
2:13 Senn paralleling Thalleous in the beginning is actually such an amazing idea holy songs
2:38 Rebellious teenager Senn still existing post S1 cool
3:15 MESSENGER BIRDS
4:09 Lol-
4:20 LET'S GO SENN AND RIA ACTUALLY HAVING CHARACTER ARCS
5:09 especially when you canonically pass out the first time using one, like that's just called being a sitting duck
6:13 so Senn learnt coping mechanisms?
6:44 "at first" WAIT WE GETTING TYGREN REBELLING?
7:21 oh yeah remember everyone, they're _teenagers_
7:35 This scene is going to live in my head rent free thank you
7:58 he was going to say "wait a minute before we commit fratricide" (Ardoni consider clanmates brothers/sisters)
8:23 Ingressus: * shows mercy*
Literally everyone else: * confused noises*
9:11 FORESHADOWING
9:31 as she should lol
10:10 ah yeah, the story really seems to forget that LITERAL TIME TRAVEL is part of this storyline
10:37 You're telling me that Tygren knew Deltheus and did not make the connection to Senn? (The way he taunts Senn at Meridian would imply that he never made the connection in cannon)
11:10 reverse Achillean. Tygren is scared of the _Deathisnger_ but sees _Ingressus_ as weak. Like only perspective where someone prefers DS over Ingressus
11:43 LET'S GO THE DYNAMIC THAT WOULD'VE HAD A WHOLE SPINOFF
12:01 OH MY GOODNESS THAT IS GOLDEN-
12:35 Oooo interesting
13:42 OH GOD AND ACHILLEAN TOLD AEGUS TO KILL INGRESSUS AND ACHILLEAN IS RIGHT THERE- wait it's also at Crown Peak, where Senn would later learn the truth, so his arc came literally full circle
15:14 Hubris: Ria, your spear is enchanted but not with _LOYALTY_ !!!
15:30 Literally "HOW DID YOU MISS HE WAS FIVE FEET INFRONT OF YOU???"
16:07 well if that happened that handover of Voltar would be hella awkward
16:36 ah yes, ye olde MUTUALLY ASSURED DESTRUCTION
17:06 "but one must also balance fear with respect"
18:25 LET'S GO CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
18:39 Ah yes, that momet when Senn pulls an Ingressus and says Achillean
19:59 Cold War is funny considering, y'know they live in the mountains
20:14 Tygren: "You were playing chess while I was learning what en passant is"
21:45 Wait but wouldn't Deltheus also follow Tygren, so did he also survive Meridian
22:48 wait but Ingressus is allied with Vulcannus- WELL THAT ONE SCENE IS ABOUT TO BE ABSOLUTELY CHAOTIC
23:06 SIBLING GOALS
23:46 WAIT THE ATARAXIA SLAUGHTER BUT THE KOA IS PRESENT WHAT
24:19 WAIT THALLEOUS ALSO TOLD SENN TO RUN. PARALLEL FOUND.
24:38 Definitely Deltheus, there's no other reason to cover markings
25:03 Called it!
25:11 I LOVE HOW THIS HAPPENS EARLIER THAN IN CANON... MORE TIME FOR SENN TO HAVE DEVELOPMENT
25:25 "they're brothers, your honour"
26:05 Ria: "I was right... OH SONGS I WAS RIGHT WHY-"
27:31 "well if this ain't awkward"
28:06 You know chaos is ensuing when a man called The _Deathsinger_ is the voice of reason
28:16 love this scene
28:31 HOW DO YOU OPEN A DOOR TWICE CK?
29:04 I love how Ingressus is trying to do an interrogation and Senn's reaction is just
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
30:20 ALMRAK BEING THE LEVELHEADED ONE
30:35 "Open Arms" * EPIC: The Musical flashbacks*
33:19 KALTARIA ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING RELEVANT FOR ONCE
33:45 Nestoris masters being the voices of reason
33:57 THANK YOU
34:31 NICE CONNECTION
34:36 "Huh, guess this is how Senn felt"
34:43 Called it
34:58 WAIT THEY MEET IN SENDARIA
36:10 WAIT WHAT I LOST COUNT OF THE SONGS
36:21 SIBLING GOALS
36:54 ALMRAK'S VIEW
37:00 CALLED IT
37:09 NO GO WITH HIM DON'T DIEEEEE
37:33 I can bet that Ingressus was having flashbacks to when he ran away from Aegus after Achillean intervened
37:59 HERE WE GO
38:21 WAIT SENN REPRESENTS THE VOLTARIS AND RIA THE REST OF ARDONIA
38:52 IT'S THE INGRESSUS VS ACHILLEAN BUT IT'S THEIR APPRENTICES(???)
39:35 siblingsssss
39:47 THEY PARALLEL THE VOLTARIS AND ARDONIA RELATIONSHIP, they got along well in the beginning (Pre-Exile), brought eachother to their kness (FGW & SGW) before accepting that they both messed up (Post-S3). I might be reading to deep into this
42:03 This ain't a double crossing, this is a freaking knitted scarf
42:31 OH GOD IT'S TYGREN'S FAULT NOW
43:05 DAMNIT I WAS GOING TO MAKE THAT JOKE
43:47 NICE LOREEEE
44:56 WELL IF THAT AIN'T CONFUSING CONSIDERING THAT SWORD HAS SPILT A HELL OF A LOT OF VOLTARIS BLOOD BUT I'LL DIGRESS
45:15 oh ok, GO FOR IT SENN!
46:24 honestly, this hits harder now that this isn't their second full conversation with eachother
47:22 NESTORIS MASTERS BEING THE VOICE OF REASON (ALSO BECAUSE HE PROBABLY HAD AEGUS' MEMORIES)
47:22 I've been saying this for a while, _this_ would be the scene which brings the Voltaris arc full circle, as it parallels the confrontation between Ingressus and the Old Masters at the tournament
47:24 Ingressus line spotted
47:42 and now I ask you to recall the heavily memed Thalleous line: "perhaps the truth will help you find peace", because in a way Senn did use the truth to find peace, and not just peace within himself but peace for the entire Voltaris clan
48:17 WAIT INGRESSUS AND ACHILLEAN RECONCILED THROUGH SENN AND RIA
50:03 MESSENGER BIRDS
50:08 GALLEOUS YOU DID NOT
I adored this! Amazing! I probably went way too deep lol
I always enjoy reading your thoughts!! Some of what you said actually made me laugh out loud haha (i don’t know how you open a door twice either)
I love all the references you caught as well!!
@@CK-Voltaris wait... HOW MANY TIMES IS A REVOLVING DOOR OPEN? MAYBE THAT'S HOW A DOOR IS OPENED TWICE
@@CK-Voltaris I'm so proud of myself lol. But honestly, were you thinking of Senn and Ria representing the Voltaris and Ardonia or did I just look way too deep into it?
@VegaTheLyra Actually no, that was all you! It definitely fits and that makes me like that scene a whole lot more
Phenomenal. Truly amazing.
I love how this turns what was a very plot driven story in the unfinished S2&3 and turned it into what S1 is, a journey of our three protagonists through a world that changes very much for them. If you and your team are willing to do other characters, might I suggest Igneous and Abbigail? Igneous just felt left out in the whole of S2&3 and Abbigail for obvious reasons.
Wonderful video, and great job to all those who helped make it!
I was skeptical going into this, but wow there was so much symmetry and symbolism that I absolutely loved! Ria and Senn being the redeemed versions of Tidesinger and Deathsinger is so poetic. Really really cool stuff!
This is so good! I had many of the same ideas about Tygren, but the way your rewrite executes them is chef’s kiss. I love the storyline you gave him. Ria and Senn are great too.
This series is literally my childhood. One of the best animated movies in my opinion
And yeah it was a good rewriting of the story and I wish tidesinger and deathsinger lived in this rewrite
The moment Ingressus finally had enough of Tygren is peak. Its like the moment Abbigail lost Sam but times 1000x, Tygren hits Ingressus with a Argoblast that can litterally kill magnorites and Ingressus just walks it off due to sheer rage, It would have got hard to see Tygren eyes relize that he is absolutely fucked as Ingressus rushes like he did at Achillean in Season 1 screaming at Tygren only for tygren to barely last long and Suffer from burns kind of like Anakin in starwars after Obi wan Defeated him only except Obi Wan was blood lusted.
This is amazing!
Absolute cinema ✋😶🤚
Such an awesome video! Really hope SoW comes back, it was such an incredible series!
Damn sis keep up the great stuff
awesome video this idea is really cool
It's beautiful to see that songs of war is still alive
I think this video will play a big role for the return of songs of war
Nice This is exactly the type of contact I like to see when it comes to songs of war
WE CAN ALL HOPE
This is a great rewrite idea video, I also have small ideas for character details, mostly for the Tidepo... I mean Tidesinger. Like have Senn catch him fishing alone before or slightly after the Meridien battle with a fishing rod on the ground next to him and when Senn inquires about it he finds out that fishing rod was once the Deathsingers and that the Tidesinger is hoping he can close his eyes and be in Nestoria fishing with his brother Ingressus and that while the Tidesinger still sees Ingressus as his brother, but hates that the Deathsinger is making him do this. Then later after the Deathsinger kills the Tidesinger he tell Senn that very same thing, that he sees the Tidesinger as his brother but hated that Achilian made him do this and Senn throws it right back at him by saying that he (Ingressus) did it, to which Ingressus doesn't really want to that, knowing very well Senn would be right
Also to add to your ideas Ingressus after he has all four primes could not start feeling safe or happy, but empty knowing all to well what it took him to get them back and that it's all on him
Having Ingressus also sitting and fishing with a second rod would make such a great gut punch if that were in there. As if the two were of the same mind despite their differences.
That’s a great video with some amazing ideas!
ABSOLUTE FIRE
I like this a lot bc I was thinking the same thing, I think a few other characters like pythus, Necrolord, scorch and many should get this type of treatment, especially pythus as for the main and final villain of songs of war he came off less as a threat and more of a spoiled man child who got clowned on at every turn.
yes, especially pythus and the necrolord. pythus just up and kills the necrolord before we really know all too much about him. pythus himself seems to just let the voltaris do all the heavy lifting while he and his nether hordes sit back and watch
Fantastic. The rewriting of the best characters in this series was close to perfection. I look forward to the next rewrite. Good luck in your endeavors. :)
I need to join this rewrite team. I've been away for too long for this community and I desire my silent voice to be finally heard.
Great Video I love it ❤
Excellent video
GREAT VID
BANGER AS ALWAYSS AAA you and the rest of the mini team did such an amazing job!! :D
I loved this rewrite video! After watching this I started to understand some characters and their goals even better. I hope Squared Media is going to use these rewrites cuz they´re just so good and I love the fact that Tygren is going against the Deathsinger and tries to earn the leadership by killing Ingressus and claiming Voltar.🙏🤩💯
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This is quality stuff. Really wish SQM would do this
This is just as better then the actual script you made me love these characters a lot more and gave them the character arcs they deserve
Amazing work!
I always love watching these videos and they are underrated! Amazing work!
So amazing thank you for this vid 🎉
All of your analysis have been so great I am looking forward to see all of the rewrites you may do this rewrite has so much care into it I think squared media should definitely take some of your ideas,basically let’s just say “ITS A GOOD REWRITE!”
thaaaank you for giving tygren more of a character in the later seasons. i was really disappointed to see him sidelined and i thought that he would be frustrated with ingressus’s leadership due to how different their ideals are. i really enjoyed the video
Absolutely phenomenal🎉
Cool
this is perfection and exactly how s2 and 3 should go
Abigail surviving death not once, but TWICE is another thing that needs fixed. I like her character, the first time I can allow, but her surviving a second time is what gets me. Maybe in the final battle with Vulcannus and puthus, if Pythus starts destroying ender crystals, that would make the fight more intense.
The Necrolord is such a cool villain, I do love the idea of the nether just killing him and taking his army, but I wish they would have used him more.
I do like the rewrites you have made. Having Tygren question everything Ingressis does is interesting. Ria no longer being a mary sue, and actually caring for her knights was something very needed.
Ria actually cared about KoA and saddened by their deaths
Ria is my favorite Ardonie and i love what you did with her in this re-write! the og reveal of her survival really rubbed me the wrong way in the original draft, it felt like they wanted a twist reveal so bad that they sacrificed logic, why would she go on missions on her own when she is part of a team? Why would she meet up with her team on the missions site instead of their hideout? And it makes no sense for her to be the leader while she is a literal child with barely any fighting or leadership skills, it's so much more satisfying to watch her rise up into that position over her arc.
Little changes i would have made (that are probably beyond the scope of this video):
-drop the 'Ardonie female are rarer' thing, it makes no sense and serve no purpose other than reasoning why Ria's father is so protective of her. which you can explain instead with the fact that he is, you know, her dad. Espessially if she is his only child, you dont have to resort to incel-style reasoning that she cant fight because she has responsibilities such as pumping out Ardonie babies in order to prevent the species and the clan from going extinct
-Ria's spear get enchanted off-screan between season 1 and 2 iirc, which undermines the idea that enchanted weapons are very rare and special and you need an experienced enchater to enchanted even weapons that are made from low-grade meterials like Ria's. Instead i think it would be more intreasting to save that power-up for later in the series, maybe tie it to the Ender-knights' arc by having Saxon be the one who enchants it for her, making it the first proper weapon he manages to enchant (Saxon is the guy who got chosen to be an Ender-knight as their enchanter, he is very much in training at the point of his intruduction, and he doesnt get to grow at all because the original director of the show wanted to keep his arc for a future spinoff, but i dont think that allowing Saxon to enchant one iron weapon leaves him with no room to grow)
Senn's my favourite character, I'll probably write another comment about this later
I love songs of war but if you rewrite it like that it will be even more exciting. I hope it happens. I love your videos
I frickin love listening to your thoughts. It's just amazing
Uhm. Why aren't you, JesusAlex and GetScribbled a part of the scripting team? They could really use your brains :>
Oh, yes. This is beautiful.
At first i like, 'Yes! I love this new direction!' and then I was like, 'Why are you revealing all of you're cards? surprises are the best way to experience a story!' then at the end i went 'Oh, you're trying to convince people to invest in it, ok' and I suppose the first creator people did kind of spoil a lot of it but ... psshh ... I don't think you had to go THIS hard... ah, whatever. if this gets the right support and creativity, the final product 'ought to be just as immersive as this was/is.... at least I hope it will be.
(plus, there are still some characters from season 1 that have yet to be inter-woven into the story somewhere.)
"Tygren is a Terrible battle Commander"
Listening to this while drawing (^///^) Awesome sauce
If you added some things about how curious the voltaris were and that was why they were slaughtered, in the og script there is also nods to the possibility that the voltaris made the prime songs
Can we possibly see videos about Abigail, the Ender Knights, and any potential rewrites for them?
You must really want song of war s2
It was so nice to see their fulfilling arcs, especially Tygrens, since he litterally just ~disappears~
Nice
I love how tygren became more evil then pythus.
I certainly like this version a lot more, great job! What I didn't like about the original script is that deathsinger never got a hold of all the prime songs. Now that he did in this version, it makes us take him seriously and recognize him as a real threat.
Making deathsinger absolutely annihilate tygren is definetely on of my favourite changes. Just hearing it makes me excited, can't imagine how the actual fight scene would be
I will always dislike that he dies in the final battle, but it is probably the best haha, i just love his character.
Also, what happens to the prime songs in the end?
@@buddypatzbudpat5760 When Deathsinger dies, the Primes wouldve been recovered by Senn and the others, and would probably get locked up like in the script
Incorrect Quotes for this Rewrite
*Somewhere in the afterlife*
Dominus: Your children got into a fight with my son. And Tygren.
Osivian, worried: Are they alright?!
Thalleous, curious: Did they win?
Lucidius: *Taps table*
Tygren: *Taps table in response*
Ingressus: Stop that.
Lucidius: Why?
Ingressus: I know you are plotting against me in morse code
Tygren: Yes, that is what we are doing. In our very limited free time, we took a class on a very outdated, very unnecessary form just so we could talk about you in front of you.
*Later*
Tygren, to Pythus: That is… exactly what we did.
Ingressus: The plan is kind of changing so we’re just going to take you with us.
Senn: Am I being kidnapped?
Ingressus: No, no, no.
Senn: Can I leave?
Ingressus: No.
@RoseVoltaris Hahahah
I'M LAUGHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW LOL. THE MORSE CODE ONE GOT ME-
YESSS CK YES
Wait, this just made me realise, a lot of the voltaris seem younger than the end of the war, and for over a hundred years, Ingressus, and therefore Voltar were not available, so how did those ardoni get initiated into the clan, even if we assume that all the voltaris we see ARE that old, what about senn's siblings? Are they that much older than him?
I think Senn and his siblings are very close in age. The implications of Voltar being gone was never discussed in canon, but my theory is if both parents are from the same clan then their kids’ markings will have their clan’s colors
Ooh, I didn't think of that, that would actually resolve it fairly nicely, also, might add an element to why the other clans would be less willing to accept senn as a clanless ardoni.
Cinema
🔥
Nobody:
Ingressus interrupting literally everyone from hurting Senn:
(This is a joke considering how this happened twice with Tygren and once with Pythus lol)
This story explained feels 10x more epic without the Felden Arc butting in every few scenes.
I'm not a hater, I do like elements of it. But, I still believe it was more suited as one of the aformentioned spinoffs. It has its own good solid story, but pales in comparison to the main Ardoni plotline.
Sorry for yapping, but hope I got my message across.👍
Felden Arc can be a spinoff
Yeah, the Felden Arc was literally stated in the S3 commentary that it was always going to be a (mostly) independent arc, but honestly, that makes the entire Felden Arc obsolete/ not much narrative value.
The only thing I would change from this, is have Ria throw her spear to kill Tygren, to not only have a parallel between thalleous and give him a moment to realize just how he lost, it'd also give Ria more growth as it'd be her way to make up for what happened in crown peak after missing the wither skeleton. That's just my thoughts.
38:49 no please don't 😢
People are talking about this again oh Hoober jonks it might come back
Nice rewrites but, if you make Galleus die to the Deathsinger using a single powerblast, I think there is a lot of plot armor to Tygren surviving multiple along with falling into fire. Plus, I am sure that if this guy could even survive all of this, which is already crazy, a Netheran guard would probably notice him and cut him off there.
Holy peak
SoW S2-S3 2.0?
EVERYONE GO DONATE NOW
I hope senn is a little bit stronger once everything is rewritten he was kinda weak in season 2 and 3
Peak rewrite
I feel like these characters werent given much attention in sow
But however,
I feel like tygren is a little rational, so i dont think he would side with the person who genocides voltaris, if you get what i mean
Also, some parts could be a little tweaked to make it less extreme
Amazing work can you rewirte please
How much does one episode of songs of war cost
Not sure how much one episode would cost, but they probably would need around $300,000 to make the entire seasons 2-3 (take that number with a grain of salt, it’s just my rough estimate)
@@CK-Voltaris that's a lot of money
@@CK-Voltaris are they going to release season 2 and then maybe they're going to work on season 3
@@Lordpro12 The only way Squared Media would make s2-3 is if they got funding for the entire project, not just a few episodes
@@CK-Voltaris yeah I know also nice video
hello there friend the way he says maybe if money is at 500k they will try
Dabi 2.0 43:40 /j
We got scammed with the Original Songs of War Script
Haw is that Christian symbolism?
Tygren’s demise (thrown into a lake of fire) and the fall of his extremists (1/3 of the clan) mirrors the fallen angels and Satan
@ oh I get it now thanks
aura+ @CK-Voltaris
I am no animator “I’m “A Miner, butcher or a baker” I’m just a simple author who’s been writing a book designed to be a prequel to SoW. But I can say that you CK Voltaris have shown you and your companions know how to create these unfinished chronicles. 🥲