Will I ever stop be angry at Christianity for the childhood it stole from me and for all of the fear and hate that it inspires in people? And will I ever stop being judgmental of my evangelical family for their beliefs? Intellectually, I know the hypocrisy of being judgmental yet in practice, I don't know how to let go of the anger. I just want to live in peace. But perhaps it is asking too much to no longer be angry at Christianity. It's like saying we'll stop being angry at the government for corruption. The offences keep happening, there is always a just reason to feel anger. But I cannot fight every battle. I cannot singlehandedly fix the problems that religion creates in the world. So, how does one do it? How do you move on from a fixed anger when it is directed at a constant and prolific perpetrator?
@E E thanks so much for your thoughtful words. I know what you mean about not wanting to sound like a victim and in truth, those that forced us into the religion are also victims of indoctrination and perhaps to a greater degree. Yes, it is certainly time to heal. For me, it seems to come in fits, starts, and replays. But when I am struck with sudden anger I forget the progress I have made and tend to feel guilty. But we're doing great! A little "I'm okay, you're okay" hokey vibe is actually really good for lightening things up! Life isn't as heavy as they tried to tell us.
When I was 19, I got dressed up to go out dancing as I did every weekend at that age, and I came downstairs all done up, and Mom said, "Aren't you the little sexpot?"That one comment summed up her entire view of sexuality. Sometimes I think I was never sexually abused, it was just mom's negativity and shaming about it. I'm grateful she was mostly agnostic while I was growing up, though the religious indoctrination of her childhood bubbled just below the surface, and I was traumatically exposed to it on multiple occasions. She is a born again now in her 70's, and I can hardly bear to be around her. It's such a betrayal, how she sided with them, those whackos who so freaked me out and shamed me as a child.
Will I ever stop be angry at Christianity for the childhood it stole from me and for all of the fear and hate that it inspires in people? And will I ever stop being judgmental of my evangelical family for their beliefs? Intellectually, I know the hypocrisy of being judgmental yet in practice, I don't know how to let go of the anger. I just want to live in peace. But perhaps it is asking too much to no longer be angry at Christianity. It's like saying we'll stop being angry at the government for corruption. The offences keep happening, there is always a just reason to feel anger. But I cannot fight every battle. I cannot singlehandedly fix the problems that religion creates in the world. So, how does one do it? How do you move on from a fixed anger when it is directed at a constant and prolific perpetrator?
@E E thanks so much for your thoughtful words. I know what you mean about not wanting to sound like a victim and in truth, those that forced us into the religion are also victims of indoctrination and perhaps to a greater degree. Yes, it is certainly time to heal. For me, it seems to come in fits, starts, and replays. But when I am struck with sudden anger I forget the progress I have made and tend to feel guilty. But we're doing great! A little "I'm okay, you're okay" hokey vibe is actually really good for lightening things up! Life isn't as heavy as they tried to tell us.
When I was 19, I got dressed up to go out dancing as I did every weekend at that age, and I came downstairs all done up, and Mom said, "Aren't you the little sexpot?"That one comment summed up her entire view of sexuality. Sometimes I think I was never sexually abused, it was just mom's negativity and shaming about it. I'm grateful she was mostly agnostic while I was growing up, though the religious indoctrination of her childhood bubbled just below the surface, and I was traumatically exposed to it on multiple occasions. She is a born again now in her 70's, and I can hardly bear to be around her. It's such a betrayal, how she sided with them, those whackos who so freaked me out and shamed me as a child.
Thank you Dr Marlene!