Last few minutes of this interview is amazing and I don't hear enough of- ADHD isn't a superpower. It's a disorder. It affects your whole life. It is not some fun personality quirk.
@@IAmSilverlined For people diagnosed since elementary school, this new trend of people thinking its a fun thing to have and making tiktok's on it feels so insensitive and degrading. She Gets It. I wonder if the tiktokers think she/ people like us are also gate keeping diagnoses.
Same for autism/ASD honestly. Too many kids these days self-dxing and fet!shing it. Actually, it would be interesting to hear TFD's take on investing/saving/earning with autism, because from experience of Level 1/high-functioning ASD I can tell you it's just as hard and confusing and painful as doing the same with ADHD/ADD (maybe even more so tbh).
Like no shade to folks that can use it to their advantage. But it is disabling for me and I need more conversations about that. I am still trying to figure out ways to accommodate myself without needing to give up on my goals/dreams/plans. Has anyone figured out food/cooking? I want to stop ordering out, but going making food is just so hard. It's not even about cooking easier meals. Like even getting a bagel is hard for me. I wonder if a mini fridge in my room would help.
Chelsea is a financial therapist! Unlike a lot of other personal finance influencers who basically attack people for poor financial behavior, Chelsea shows a lot of understanding and compassion. ❤
Oh yes! And admitting that things are simply LESS COMPLICATED when you can finally afford what you need right now, like healthcare - so rare and so precious :)
I am so grateful for that last part, the "ADHD is my superpower" bs seems to be a major reason that it isn't taken seriously as the debilitating condition that it is. It IS a disorder, by definition, and it negatively impacts daily functioning, almost constantly. It is not fun, it is not quirky, it is a disability, plain and simple.
@@lowwastehighmelanin The way I see it is people reclaiming the label and what their disorders are doing for them, similar to the way gay pride is celebrated today when historically it was severely stigmatized. As well as understanding and accepting the ways that the disorders have made an impact on their lives. Of course it veers into toxic positivity territory as there are ways to understand the effects in both positive, negative, and neutral ways.
It's only debilitating because of capitalism. If the world was different and had space for people with different skills my ADHD wouldn't be a problem at all.
@@katp4782 I'd love to have your version of adhd, unfortunately for many of us it genuinely is a disability that impacts nearly every part of daily life. When it isn't understood as such, it's pretty difficult to get accommodations
@@kirbycobain1845 I understand that it's pretty difficult to get accommodations without it being understood as a disability - and I think this state of affairs sucks! Accommodations should be provided according to needs and not according to labels. All I was trying to say is that medical definitions do evolve, but a change of definition is not a change of reality. A lot of ADHD struggles come from lack of accommodations, but one *shouldn't have to* be classed as disabled in ordered to be deemed deserving of accommodations. Nevertheless, I am painfully aware that we don't live in a world where that's the case atm. Getting diagnosed can be anything but plain and simple. It is out of reach to some, because psychiatric services are expensive and oversubscribed in many areas. No diagnosis does not mean no ADHD or no struggles. I count myself lucky to have the formal diagnosis now, but I have been both blessed to live with undiagnosed accommodated ADHD and cursed to live with undiagnosed unaccommodated ADHD. That's why I think that pushing for changes in attitudes about providing accommodations is a priority. PS - yes, I removed my previous comment and edited this one because I inadvertently overshared. This covers both though.
I have ADHD (diagnosed, medicated, etc.) and I am only just now hearing about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria! 😮 I had no idea there was a term to describe the very real physical and emotional pain and despair that I feel whenever I feel rejected or ignored or criticized. I've tried so hard to "toughen up" and "grow a thicker skin" and "just let it go," and I really feel like I've improved a lot, but the pain is very real!
Speaking only from my personal experience. I grew up in a single parent, narcissistic mother home. My (never clinically diagnosed) internally presenting ADHD made me good in grade school. I can’t separate the home training of always competing for my source of survival’s attention and approval and the subsequent societal reward for approved behavior from Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. I was systematically trained at home and school to be a good worker and only crave head pats and gold stars while fearing disproval. When you’re told from the start that making people in power unhappy will put you on the street to starve tends to make you existentially dread rejection. 🤮
And it is physical. I feel nauseous and start sweating and shaking when the feeling of rejection hits. So far, a decade or so of therapy has made it where I can make it to the car before completely losing any and all semblance of self control.
I have ADHD and used to be very sensitive to rejection but then I did trauma therapy and that helped a lot. I think adhd can make rejection more debilitating because of hyper fixation and the lack of emotional regulation but I believe the root of my own rejection sensitivity was trauma.
The impulse to spend money that I don’t really have is strong and really tough to overcome! I spent $11 on boba tea and snacks yesterday for the feel-good chemicals, but I’m currently between jobs and only have a couple hundred dollars left, and I know I’ll be ok and finally get a job in a panic, but this cycle is really also depressing, and the combination of ADHD, impulsivity, and persistent depression make a strong hurricane that I don’t know how to shelter from, and I can’t keep finding shelter in little unnecessary purchases that add up.
Is it just me or also not having enough for the little extras translates in stress because it becomes such an easy way to get a dopamine hit? I'm also having to cut back on a lot of stuff cos I'm earning less and I'm struggling with the impulse control. Hugs and hope you find a job soon
Not sure if this helps at all, but I like reading and found that going to the library and picking out a new book to borrow made me feel like I had "bought" a book. Of course, that only works if returning on time is not an issue, otherwise the late fees add up. Maybe there are other things that can be rented/borrowed that are interesting and you don't have to feel guilty if you abandon the idea after a week. Sorry if this does not help you, and good luck!
@@Avenue_ad_AstraI actually really like this idea! And I will try it… but yeah it’s funny how I’ll occasionally go through periods of time where I don’t go to the library for awhile because I owe them money!! And while I don’t owe them money this time, i can’t check out more books right now because I do have to get a couple back from a friend’s house so I can return them. It can really be so frustrating to be so all over the place! You gotta laugh or you’re gonna cry 😂
I have Autism. 80% of us are unemployed. I've had two major stints of unemployment in my adult life. Spending money and saving are hard with neurodivergence. The unemployment rate for ADHD folks is 2.1 times higher than neurotypicals. I'm very lucky. I'm employed. I'm part of the 20% but even within that, the constant masking, the lack of consideration from neurotypicals etc makes me want to quit constantly. I hope sincerely that you're able to find some solace soon. This stuff is hard. Not spending is hard. You're doing great! Please remember to praise yourself when you hold back. That's HUGE (my wife has ADHD and we live long distance right now I celebrate every little win with her because they're all big; my daughter from a previous relationship also has ADHD, it's incredible to see her grow as well) you are self aware and that's MAJOR! Praise yourself! Do a free activity that you enjoy to celebrate! 🫶🏾
I was diagnosed ADHD as an adult, and it makes all my impulse spending make sense but I still can't seem to stop! I keep blowing my budget on compost worms
For myself, I’ve found repetitive but interesting solo work that is divided across the day works best for me. I’m a dental hygienist so my day is divided into 1hr segments, and each case/client is similar enough that I can use systems to ensure quality care, but different enough that it keeps me interested. Another benefit is the high hourly wage- this allows me to work part time and make a full time salary. I can’t keep up with a 9-5. I am happiest and at my best working 3 days per week.
Same here, physiotherapist. The full focus in a 1:1 setting with every new patient every half hour plus the job safety, that's perfect for me and my hypersensitivity/anxiety.
I have ADHD, and when it comes to finances I have two modes: spend everything on impulse buys or keep rigid control over every penny and deprive myself of ANY fun rewards. Sure, I've gotten a lot better about putting aside some money in a "Whatever TF I Want" category, but it gets spent pretty quickly at the beginning of the month and I'm left on deprivation mode for the next three weeks until I get paid again.
I have heard it described as 'planning mode' and 'doing mode', and that people with ADHD are having a hard time switching between the two. (Rumor has it that some neuro typical folks can be in between the two modes, but my brain can't comprehend what that would look like) I have a tendency to get stuck in planning mode, making all the plans but never actually getting stuff done, whereas I think the stereotype of ADHD is stuck in doing-mode, doing all of the things, but never thinking about the consequences (this is a big oversimplification of course) Edit: forgot the part that actually relates to your comment... For me rigid control = planning-mode, and spend all the money = doing-mode
At 37 and just got diagnosed last year. I’ve been in debt my entire life and would be successful at paying it down or off for a period of months or years (hyperfocus), only to get distracted by some new passion and just never finish. I am now seeing a financial therapist and hope it will help.
I saw the title and I’m like “why are they attacking me?!” 😂 honestly, I really needed this because it’s been harder to manage money lately. It’s like my ADHD has kicked in even more. Me forgetting things and buying doubles/triples, and forgetting to unsubscribe from stuff, not returning things on time, forgetting to pay things on time… it’s all killing me 😭😭😭😭 uuughhhh
The reason Autism was in that one question is possibly because the co-occurrence of ADHD and Autism is very high, estimated somewhere in the range of 60-70%. Depending on your location it may be easier to get an ADHD dx than an Autism dx, and before 2013 you couldn't get both under the DSM; consequently many ADHDers don't realise they are also Autistic (and vice versa).
For real? My son got ADHD a couple of years before his Asperger's back around the turn of the century, so I was completely unaware of this. Perhaps because one was through a psychiatrist and the other was through the school, but neither of his subsequent psychiatrists - or his psychologists - ever mentioned this to me, they just focused on treating whatever he was struggling with. Guess he got lucky. There's at least one other family member with both AS and ADHD diagnosis, but much younger, and I don't think those are his only comorbids.
I struggle so much with rejection sensitivity. I feel like every week in therapy I end up talking about being afraid of being judged/dismissed/thought less of. It feels like the root of my self-worth and social-anxiety problems. But I'm also very pragmatic and methodical like Chelsea! So it's a constant back and forth of getting frustrated with my own mind for caring so much about something that I know is unimportant.
As someone with ADHD, thank you for this episode! To control my impulse spending, I add the item to my wishlist and and give myself 24-48 hours to decide if I really want the item.
I’ve managed to combat this in the stores by taking pictures of things I would like to purchase. Because then I tell myself if I like it enough after a few days I’ll think about it, look at the photo and go back and get it. It’s almost like my brain logs it as “bought” so the impulse is gone. I’ve never bought anything I took a picture of yet and end up deleting them on the camera roll 😂 It’s baby steps but I’m so much better than I used to be. I’ve also deleted shopping apps on my phone.
Ok when she forgot the question - THAT IS ME! So many times having a good conversation, but my brain goes down a weird path it thought was related but then I forget what the question was and the thought is lost. The interview I didn't know I needed. Thank you for addressing this in such a compassionate manner 😊😊❤
30 year old mom of 2 who just got diagnosed- When she got into rejection sensitive dysphoria I felt SO KNOWN. it is literally impossible for me to let things roll off my back.
I'm so happy I made productive decisions about my finances that changed my life forever. I'm a single mother living in Canada, bought my second house in September and hoping to retire next year at 49 if things keep going smoothly for me
Congratulations beautiful lady. You're really doing well for yourself, I'm 44 and my financial life is in a mess. Any great tips would really go a long way in shaping my life. I want to buy my own house, that's really a big flex.
the best decisions one should think about right now is to have different sources of income and never depend on the govt. especially with the current economy situation in the country alot of people now invest digital with their mobile devices, i invest in crypto trading and it pays massively.
Mrs Victorias' training program has been insightful, and I must say, I'm most honoured to have been part and a full-time beneficiary of her daily signals. I have been growing & have been able to increase my portfolio from 1.5BTC to more than 5.6BTC with her daily signals.
Usually a silent viewer, but as someone who so deeply resonates with caring about EVERYTHING, I find that sometimes it can be helpful to repeatedly hear it’s okay to not care about someone else’s opinion. It is almost like a mantra. It serves as a constant reminder that me not caring about someone’s opinion doesn’t make me a bad person. And I need to hear that 👏🏼 r e g u l a r l y 👏🏼
Thank you so much for talking about this! I feel like no one takes ADHD seriously and it seriously impacts every aspect of my life! Just like Dr. Hamdani mentioned, it's everything from feeding myself to performing at work. It can be really difficult to manage and the current popular narrative makes it seem like a joke. It can be especially damaging when managing other chronic illnesses that are more physical and may require regular medication; if I can't even eat and sleep at regular intervals, how am I supposed to manage this physical illness?? Budgeting around impulsive purchases and potential job instability is also incredibly challenging and it's an added struggle that people without ADHD largely don't have to factor in. Thank you so much for bringing awareness to the struggles and challenges associated with this disorder; I hope to see a shift in the narrative around this!
My ADHD money hacks are: - Automated savings that can be liquidated easily. I presave for my taxes and in the mean time let them multiply in a savings account a bit. - create an alert on the phone to remind to pay the bills as soon as they arrive - creating on and offline folders where I horde my invoices and things for accounting. No filing system or anything just a place to put in, I deal with the sorting once a year - when deciding to save I don’t go to shopping malls only once a month, as if I’m around things I will buy them, but if I don’t see them I can go without - on online shopping I open a tab, but not buy the thing. If I remember to buy it more then 5 times I consider to buy it. But not right away. If it important enough I will remember it I hope it helps some ☺️
I'm so glad she mentioned rejection sensitive dysphoria. It's already wired in the nervous system for many with ADHD - thinking it away doesn't always work.
Thank you for this. As a older woman who was not diagnosed as a kid, family school and work life has been so difficult. I was always in gifted programs in school but my finish was always weak. I would get overwhelmed. Now as an office manager it has been a real struggle to stay on top of and ahead of things in a busy organization. I needed this!
If being an office manager is anything like being the only full-time admin in the building, it is super hard for ADHD. There's no focus time because your job is all about every one else's needs when they need it and they ask you how long for a larger project, but you have no way of knowing how many other people's last minute emergencies you will have to deal with or weird questions you will have to answer before you get the big project done. Is it like that? (I'm a mom to a 150+ adults, mostly men.)
This was great! I loved the segment about medication, and I have something to add as a layman and fellow ADHDer: Medication isn’t for everyone, as they discussed, nor does it have to be a long term solution for those who do benefit from it. It is, however, a super useful tool for a lot of people. When discussing about their successful and long breaks from medication, there was a lack of note about how medication can be used to help get a person through the rough patches of behavioral adjustments. I would wager a significant amount that medication, in both their cases, helped them reach their behavioral change goals. Just my two cents!
I had a therapist once describe medication to me as helping to raise the baseline of where I'm usually at, so that the skills and behavioral stuff I was working on would be able to make a more noticeable difference. (He was specifically talking about depression, but I think it translates to ADHD as well.)
Behavioral changes are all I have because I can't take stimulant medication for my ADHD because it messes with my heart. I have been able to adapt but it's not the easy route.
This video brings up a lot of points that are very real on a systemic level. It’s refreshing to not have financial advice that gaslights individuals in their unique democratic. And yes my mental health did improve once I fought my way to a higher tax bracket but boy was that hard work!! I can’t believe that there are people who will never know what this process is like - in both ends of the spectrum.
I really appreciated your discussion on medication. I think my doctor described it best, the end goal of the meds is to eventually not need the meds. If you need it your whole life, then you need it your whole life, but you will never be able to make the sustainable changes that need to be made while going through the daily struggle just to survive. The meds are a bridge.
That’s exactly what my optometrist told me about my glasses. You NEED the glasses, but the goal is to EVENTUALLY throw the glasses away and yet be able to walk around totally blind and not bump into things…the glasses are not a medically prescribed tool they are “just a bridge”… I mean God forbid that you would have to continue to use glasses long term… you might be seen to be “dependant”. 😂
The end goal of adhd meds is absolutely NOT that you eventually won’t need the meds. That’s not how they work, that’s not how adhd brains work. Sorry to be so harsh but your doctor doesn’t know what they’re talking about.
I have ADHD, generalized anxiety, and CPTSD. I was hesitant about meds for so long, but it got pretty bad and I needed help. Welp, the meds were so much worse. Trying to find the right med. Medical anxiety. Terrible side effects. I realized after that I really am one of the lucky ones that has a lot of tools built up over many years and I'm going to be okay without meds. I feel better than ever, as well.
I feel ridiculously valited when talking about treating the ADHD through behavioral change. I don't want to medicate (because I have A LOT of medical anxiety) but I've worked so so hard to be more functional through behavioral change (both on my own and with my therapist) and it has worked so much! I still struggle with a lot of stuff but I'm doing so much better on many things and now I'm hearing a lot of "it's surely not ADHD if you don't need medication".
Same tbh. When I start making more money, I start getting more impulsive. If I've got nothing or very little to spend, I have to reaaally think about if I need that new shirt or not (or well, if I'm being specific to me it's "Do I really need my 30th set of RPG dice to add to the collection I've built over years because ohhh this one is shiny and a slightly different shade of purple than the last one?)
I think that superpower thing might come from pediatricians. Idk exactly what she said but when my oldest son was diagnosed in 2018, she said something to that effect when she was explaining to him what it meant.
Can't watch this now but I am so excited to watch it tomorrow. I can definitely see my ADHD spending, I basically have two consumer modes research furiously for six months or full on impulse.
Oh, I can already tell this is going to be amazing and helpful for us ADHD-having and finance-loving peeps! Thanks for getting this interview, Chelsea. Excited to watch this!
Yes! I love talking about accessible financial advice! ❤ Love both you and Dr. Sasha Hamdani’s content! 💓 I got diagnosed at 26 and it’s still a little difficult to adjust, but there are so many excellent resources and perspectives available online and it’s like having a para-social support network. We’re all in this together!
My ex has ADHD and an extra tax is exactly what it felt like dating her. Not just on our money, but on our time, too. One of the reasons why it didn't work out between us. I was exhausted with her. I'm glad I was honest about how I felt no matter how offended she got, because now we are both free to meet people who are better suited for us. She told me she was diagnosed and I had read about it bit over the years, but living with someone is completely different. I truly wasn't prepared enough.
Yeah, well when you have ADHD dating someone like you is equally exhausting so she’s probably much better off without you as a millstone around her neck. The carrying the weight of a judgemental “partner” in ADDITION to everything she was managing dealing with ADHD in itself is monstrously hard. And yet, she probably carried more than her share in the relationship. Thank god she doesn’t have to deal with your sh*t any longer.
@@mildhoof You can be offended if you want. I'm just sharing my first hand experience. I'm sure there are people with ADHD who work on themselves and manage to do well despite their challenges. She wasn't one of them.
@@StorytellingHeadshots " And yet, she probably carried more than her share in the relationship." This is hilarious because she ended up losing her job and I was the one giving her money lol. Keep the assumptions coming :)
@@AB-py6jl Clearly she needed a partner with a capacity for empathy, and clearly you were lacking. I hope she finds a more supportive and compatible partner.
What saved me is that I found a partner who's really good with finances and shames whenever I buy anything. Now, my self esteem is in shambles, but my credit rating is spotless!
Omggg I also have partner who shames some of my expenses. On a bad day, I resent it but on most days, I’m grateful I haven’t been left to my own spending devices.
Hey my ADHD friend…i‘ll turn 36 in 2 weeks…and life‘s just too much for me…i just wanna live in my head, i want a world where money doesn‘t exist…i reeeaaally hope you have friends and relatives who help you…so that you can concentrate more on your creativity and empathy, of which i‘m sure you have plenty…please don‘t dispair ❤❤❤💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽 lots of love from Switzerland (i hope my English isn‘t too bad…)
My husband finally got his degree in his mid-forties. Medication and the book “Learning how to learn” were huge game changers. His bachelors took 26 years. His masters took 1 1/2 years. It can be done. You just need to find the approach that works for you.
I love her and follow her on ig for adhd and own her book! I have adhd and I always love to follow female adhd er! ❤❤❤ I got my diagnosis at 26 and it’s been really wonderful knowing able to learn about adhd and how it effects me everyday.
I read the title as the opposite of its meaning - why ADHD people make so much money. Saw it in a tech community poll like “do you need ADHD to be high achieving in tech?” and most votes were yes.
Hyper focus and programming go really well together. It’s actually kinda amazing to get lost in code. I could see people thinking you need ADHD to excel at it.
The catch is that tech has to be the subject of their ADHD hyperfocus. If it isn't, then you might as well try to rope a bull with a lasso made of dental floss and spider webs
Really glad you talked about rejection sensitivity because this is something I struggle with constantly. Logically I know what the worse case is or I tell myself someone’s opinion doesn’t matter to me, but the truth is, it does. And I think they think the worse things about me.
Chelsea, I looove your work and have recommended your channel to a lot of people close to me. I think I first saw you and then found out I was neurodiverse myself. For me finding about ADHD, has been a learning curve that just helps me understanding my brain and I have learned new pathways to work as me. I’m seeing/hearing this in my TV while looking at my Amazon account to see what’s on my cart. ✨ it’s a process!! 💀
Hi Chelsea, would you consider doing any more episodes on ADHD? I understand the doctor has a book and an app to sell, so she didn’t want to give away too many of her ‘secrets’, but there was a really frustrating lack of actionable steps in the advice she gave in this episode. I was losing my mind the second time you asked her for easy wins and she redirected to talking about her app instead.
Yes to ALL of this video! And I wish society would dispel the narrative that "everyone has ADHD..." No, they do not. For those of us that have been diagnosed with this condition, it is so destructive and debilitating. Definitely NOT a superpower.
Keep in mind an estimated 75-80% of those with ADHD are undiagnosed. It is also very expensive for most to be tested, assuming they have the “symptoms “ and believe they do have it. Agreed, not everyone has it, not even close, but even you had it before you were diagnosed. I suspect it has always been “destructive and debilitating” for you. I just want to make sure that those who are ADHD but undiagnosed are not dismissed.
Fantastic podcast and very to the point. It's 2 am, I'm tired but can't sleep, so I'm listening to this and constantly getting distracted by random thoughts, yet I still somehow managed to retain pretty much all of the points without having to rewind anything. That says a lot. 😂
Around 29:00 she mentions the first resource, I don't know if it's my ADHD but I'm not getting the name of the NGO, anyone can help clarifying please? 🤣
I definitely have the struggle side of adhd, but I also understand one viewpoint the superpower claim comes from - a pride in one's brain, and a recognition of the value of the unique ways of thinking it can bring. I do struggle daily doing stuff I *should* be doing, and with the embarrassment that comes from not behaving how a neurotypical adult is expected to behave, but I honestly don't want a different brain, nor would I choose to not have adhd if I could choose. I don't want anyone to patronize me by telling me it's a super power, but I also recognize that it has brought me an advantage in the creative fields I've worked in, and allowed me to find out of the box solutions in groups when we've been stumped by difficult problems All this is to say, I am very glad to see an expert with ADHD come on this podcast, but please keep inviting more neurodiverse people, and more disabled people, because the diversity of perspective is necessary and valuable
I loved to listen to this but I definitely missed concrete money advise for people with adhd. Or did I zone out without noticing?🙈. If so, can someone please give me a time stamp ? (Btw I did hear a few tips like taking cash money in to store but I was hoping for a whole approach).
When you live in South Florida and everybody is struggling and you have a DD and you spend your money money that you can spend you can’t have an allowance because they pay us really bad and then they expect us to pay extremely ridiculous prices for rent car insurance car payment loans less goes on. You still do it now then you find yourself like am I going to be able to survive or am I gonna get out of my house? Is somebody gonna come and take my car? It’s nice to think that you can actually give yourself an allowance even you $10 but the anxiety makes it worse when you don’t have to capability to do any of that you cannot have a treat causeyou don’t have enough money.
i totally understand that its a disorder that deeply impacts my life and causes real strugles for me, i´d never describe it as a "superpower", i think ppl that say stuff like that are being super disingenuous and i agree that it marginalizes the strugles it brings, but if asked "would you like to not have adhd?" i don't know if i'd say yes. I don't know if its because i've been diagnosed later in life and have been living like this for so long without realizing i was different to the point that it's my "normal" or if it's because it's a relativelly recent diagnosis and i still haven't 100% figured out my way to deal with my patterns and simptoms, but I feel my life and personality are way too deeply entangled in the ways i've been afected and have been dealing with my adhd over the years that i don't know how much of it i'd "loose" if i didn't have it, like, i don't know how and how much i'd change, and i'd be hesitant to take that chance. Like i said, i don't think it's a "net positive", but i do think thats a part of me and i don't know how much of my thought patterns come from my experience with adhd and how much it's really ME, and despise really strugling with it, i really like "me" at the moment.
Would be interesting to hear TFD's take on investing/saving/earning with autism, because from experience of Level 1/high-functioning ASD I can tell you it's just as hard and confusing and painful as doing the same with ADHD/ADD (maybe even more so tbh). NTs don't get it.
This was a very good piece that I did not know I needed- Dr. Sasha is well spoken and so resourceful. The conversation needs to be had in countless spaces for so many of us to know what is and is not normal. I at an early age found I had a wandering mind- and my aunt took me and is the reason I finished high school. This helps destroy some misinformation and pushes so many to get legitimate help. Where finances is concerned, having that conversation is not one that is had and to tie it with so many things and ADHD comes knocking on the door which can make it so difficult. Having this information and segment is awesome. Thank you for this video.
Im sure this is fascinating but with neither clear sections or timestamps and a ton of talking about other thinhs than what I came here for, what I needed to know, ie HOW TO HANDLE MONEY, my ADHD brain remembers exactly nothing about this entire video and just found it a complete waste of time...
Great guest, I learned so much! I want to add that Chelsea could work on being a more open + friendly host. There were times when the guest was talking and smiling and Chelsea was sitting there, just expressionless, almost mean mugging her, literally giving nothing in the form of acknowledgement to the guest. Conversations are an exchange of energy...I actually felt uncomfortable for Dr. Hamdani a few times because trying to have a conversation with someone like that can be so difficult. Kuddos to her for navigating her way through it.
Hi Chelsea, I own rental properties, I get my Social Security, and annuity. My caregiver control almost my entire life, especially my money. She goes into my accounts at Chase Bank. Being severely ADHD I don't remember what I purchased. So, my caregiver down the line of my account saying Amazon, Amazon, TEMU, TEMU, ETSY, ETSY. I told you could only buy food. She also doesn't think ADHD is real. Says ADHD is medical and pharmaceutical companies way of getting money from fools. Plus, she told me she hasn't paid my Credit cards bills since June She said I was $50grand in debt. I told her, my credit rating will be ruin. She said not my problem. This is all your problem, and I could care less what to you! I am now sad and severely depressed. I suffer from Clinical Depression. So, my question to you ladies: What do I do? My caregiver is confident there is no such thing as ADHD. I feel like this spending is my fault and I deserve to be financially ruined.
You really do need CBT with medication. But honestly, for me, I did years of CBT without medication, but the medication is what really made me normal. My ADHD is severe though. But I'm a lot more together when im on medication. My mother noticed this (the genetic source of my ADHD). Also im able to regulate anger/frustration better which is vital for my family life. People who think you can just will away a disorder are clearly misinformed and as they said just nod and let the ignorance roll of.
CBT is not effective for all neurodivergent people, especially those with both ADHD and autism. But there are many other modalities. The key is to find a therapist or coach that works for you.
For the part about talking to your employer, I think Chelsea is quite bias here because she talks from the POV of a small business and where, I assumed, has a good culture. But for the bigger setting, the culture is not about company's culture, sometimes, it's team culture. And some people/manager aren't really that empathy.
I'm not finished with this episode yet, but I feel like it would be ignorant for me to not see the upsides that my disability has. Being a creative person and who's also into spirituality while also having ADHD provides a lot of unique challenges. Even if the reality of my disability is something I can't change, who says that I can't celebrate the ways it makes me unique? Toxic positivity is an issue; I can easily recognize that, but optimism and joy is a choice. If you're privileged enough to create a life for yourself and to be happy wiith that, then take advantage of that. If you don't come from a place of privilege, then still, who says you don't have a choice? I can only speak from my own personal circumstances here.... I come from a place of privilege. I recognize that, so perhaps my views on the whole "my ADHD is a superpower" is more neutral.
Chelsea, where did you go for your audio settings? Am working on my audio setting and it's been a failure. At this rate, imma have to pay someone for some presets. Also, behavioral modification is what has been helping me with my anxiety and overthinking. My therapist recommended last week that I should create a list of all the things that I want to do because wanting to do too much is keeping me from doing anything and I wrote up a list and created goals. It was really relieving to get that focus as well as establishing goals because I always feel I have to do everything all at once or completely overload my day with stuff but my therapist said to give each goal a timeframe and to never have more than two things for the week. Her saying that was like someone taking off 100 pounds off my back.
I'm sorry Chelsea, I really want to watch this, but watching financial stuff is like trying to force myself to eat broccoli. I can manage vegetables if it's fast and over quickly, so I won't be able to finish an hour long video on the equivalent of broccoli, does anyone want to take pity on me and provide an executive summary? Or maybe timestamps of your favorite parts? Thank you!!!
Please help me find if there are scientific articles discussing the link between ADHD and hyper mobility (ie Ehlers Danlos). Especially if there is support for the anecdotal evidence of ADHD medication helping with hyper mobility and related physical issues (like arthritis). 🙏
My family and acquaintances say I'm bitter, overly concerned, and plain crazy. They are oblivious to what is going on because they are too focused with their work and daily challenges. They perceive the two-year increase in home values as usual. The rise in home prices only serves to underline how worthless the dollar has become. Because a weak currency can be a warning of an economic slowdown, I've been considering the best ways to protect myself from inflation. I've also heard that inflation is a money-eater, which has me concerned about my $230,000 in savings.
In my opinion, the impact of the rise or fall of the U.S. dollar on investments is multifaceted but learning how to grow your money has never been easier than now that you can explore and experience a truly diverse marketplace passively by using a well-performing wealth manager.
Its quite hilarious that this video is over an hour long.. considering the topic. As someone with ADHD I would love to know what to do with my money, as someone with ADHD I will never get through this video, no offence meant, but c'mon..
I feel your pain, but I get through long things like that either by watching them in chunks instead of all at once, or by listening to it while doing boring chores (I sometimes do get distracted and miss some things but when this happens I just rewind a bit or ignore it, if it's just a small part and I can still grasp the overall idea).
Chelsea, some tips for more inclusive language: instead of implying that ADHD is not "normal," recognize that it is a part of normal human variation, and you can instead say something like "a brain the world was not designed for", or "neurodistinct/neurodivergent". Also instead of "ladies and gentlemen" just use "folks"-- especially when talking about neurodivergent folks, as there is a higher incidence of gender nonconforming people in our community.
am I the only one who sees a horse in the lower left of the thumbnail? I looked at the horse looking right with a brown hair and tan chin and a halter for like 2 minutes before I saw a human looking left
I know that this isn't a possibility for everyone, but I can't express just how life-changing it has been for me to find a supervisor with whom I can be open about my ADHD and the unique struggles that come with it. I've always felt like I had to mask my ADHD at work, and I've had a lot of supervisors who tried to mold me to be what they wanted out of an employee. It was a lot of "Here's what you're doing wrong, now just stop doing that." Now that I'm able to be open with my boss about my ADHD, I have been able to say, "This is something that's hard for me, and it will always be hard for me." We're able to set goals that are realistic for me, like learning goals, and he is able to support me in the areas that I can't realistically change. He's able to assign me tasks that are compatible with my strengths, and not force me into tasks that will bore me to literal tears. He helps me determine the priority order of tasks, the amount of time I should be budgeting for certain tasks, ways to work through blocks, and set soft or hard deadlines as needed. He is able to be a liason if my RSD makes it difficult for me to communicate with colleagues, or at least work out what to say. Because of this successful working relationship, we have been able to tailor my job description to fit me, and my unique strengths, rather than trying to fit me into a pre-ordained box. I've been able to flourish and produce work that I'm proud of, without burning myself out.
Your episode topics are so interesting but the episodes are so long- especially for an adhd girly. I really want to watch this but my brain cannot handle an hour long episode 🥲
Last few minutes of this interview is amazing and I don't hear enough of- ADHD isn't a superpower. It's a disorder. It affects your whole life. It is not some fun personality quirk.
Can’t agree enough. Her visceral reaction to that hit home SO hard.
@@IAmSilverlined For people diagnosed since elementary school, this new trend of people thinking its a fun thing to have and making tiktok's on it feels so insensitive and degrading. She Gets It. I wonder if the tiktokers think she/ people like us are also gate keeping diagnoses.
Same for autism/ASD honestly. Too many kids these days self-dxing and fet!shing it. Actually, it would be interesting to hear TFD's take on investing/saving/earning with autism, because from experience of Level 1/high-functioning ASD I can tell you it's just as hard and confusing and painful as doing the same with ADHD/ADD (maybe even more so tbh).
Yeah that "superpower" shit is peak toxic positivity.
Like no shade to folks that can use it to their advantage. But it is disabling for me and I need more conversations about that. I am still trying to figure out ways to accommodate myself without needing to give up on my goals/dreams/plans.
Has anyone figured out food/cooking? I want to stop ordering out, but going making food is just so hard. It's not even about cooking easier meals. Like even getting a bagel is hard for me. I wonder if a mini fridge in my room would help.
Chelsea is a financial therapist! Unlike a lot of other personal finance influencers who basically attack people for poor financial behavior, Chelsea shows a lot of understanding and compassion. ❤
That is actually a thing, and I agree she most certainly is.
poor financial behaviour is the best accidental pun xD
@@Rosespynn?
@@lowwastehighmelanin poor as a demographic, instead of a descriptor
Oh yes! And admitting that things are simply LESS COMPLICATED when you can finally afford what you need right now, like healthcare - so rare and so precious :)
I am so grateful for that last part, the "ADHD is my superpower" bs seems to be a major reason that it isn't taken seriously as the debilitating condition that it is. It IS a disorder, by definition, and it negatively impacts daily functioning, almost constantly. It is not fun, it is not quirky, it is a disability, plain and simple.
People talk about autism that way as well. Last I checked, my ASD is why I'm still struggling at 37 but ok. "Superpower" my foot.
@@lowwastehighmelanin The way I see it is people reclaiming the label and what their disorders are doing for them, similar to the way gay pride is celebrated today when historically it was severely stigmatized. As well as understanding and accepting the ways that the disorders have made an impact on their lives. Of course it veers into toxic positivity territory as there are ways to understand the effects in both positive, negative, and neutral ways.
It's only debilitating because of capitalism. If the world was different and had space for people with different skills my ADHD wouldn't be a problem at all.
@@katp4782 I'd love to have your version of adhd, unfortunately for many of us it genuinely is a disability that impacts nearly every part of daily life. When it isn't understood as such, it's pretty difficult to get accommodations
@@kirbycobain1845 I understand that it's pretty difficult to get accommodations without it being understood as a disability - and I think this state of affairs sucks! Accommodations should be provided according to needs and not according to labels. All I was trying to say is that medical definitions do evolve, but a change of definition is not a change of reality. A lot of ADHD struggles come from lack of accommodations, but one *shouldn't have to* be classed as disabled in ordered to be deemed deserving of accommodations. Nevertheless, I am painfully aware that we don't live in a world where that's the case atm.
Getting diagnosed can be anything but plain and simple. It is out of reach to some, because psychiatric services are expensive and oversubscribed in many areas. No diagnosis does not mean no ADHD or no struggles. I count myself lucky to have the formal diagnosis now, but I have been both blessed to live with undiagnosed accommodated ADHD and cursed to live with undiagnosed unaccommodated ADHD.
That's why I think that pushing for changes in attitudes about providing accommodations is a priority.
PS - yes, I removed my previous comment and edited this one because I inadvertently overshared. This covers both though.
I have ADHD (diagnosed, medicated, etc.) and I am only just now hearing about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria! 😮 I had no idea there was a term to describe the very real physical and emotional pain and despair that I feel whenever I feel rejected or ignored or criticized. I've tried so hard to "toughen up" and "grow a thicker skin" and "just let it go," and I really feel like I've improved a lot, but the pain is very real!
Speaking only from my personal experience. I grew up in a single parent, narcissistic mother home. My (never clinically diagnosed) internally presenting ADHD made me good in grade school. I can’t separate the home training of always competing for my source of survival’s attention and approval and the subsequent societal reward for approved behavior from Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. I was systematically trained at home and school to be a good worker and only crave head pats and gold stars while fearing disproval. When you’re told from the start that making people in power unhappy will put you on the street to starve tends to make you existentially dread rejection. 🤮
Despair is a great word for it
And it is physical. I feel nauseous and start sweating and shaking when the feeling of rejection hits. So far, a decade or so of therapy has made it where I can make it to the car before completely losing any and all semblance of self control.
I have ADHD and used to be very sensitive to rejection but then I did trauma therapy and that helped a lot. I think adhd can make rejection more debilitating because of hyper fixation and the lack of emotional regulation but I believe the root of my own rejection sensitivity was trauma.
The impulse to spend money that I don’t really have is strong and really tough to overcome! I spent $11 on boba tea and snacks yesterday for the feel-good chemicals, but I’m currently between jobs and only have a couple hundred dollars left, and I know I’ll be ok and finally get a job in a panic, but this cycle is really also depressing, and the combination of ADHD, impulsivity, and persistent depression make a strong hurricane that I don’t know how to shelter from, and I can’t keep finding shelter in little unnecessary purchases that add up.
Highly relatable and I'm in a similar financial situation as you. Best wishes on the job search ❤
Is it just me or also not having enough for the little extras translates in stress because it becomes such an easy way to get a dopamine hit? I'm also having to cut back on a lot of stuff cos I'm earning less and I'm struggling with the impulse control. Hugs and hope you find a job soon
Not sure if this helps at all, but I like reading and found that going to the library and picking out a new book to borrow made me feel like I had "bought" a book. Of course, that only works if returning on time is not an issue, otherwise the late fees add up. Maybe there are other things that can be rented/borrowed that are interesting and you don't have to feel guilty if you abandon the idea after a week. Sorry if this does not help you, and good luck!
@@Avenue_ad_AstraI actually really like this idea! And I will try it… but yeah it’s funny how I’ll occasionally go through periods of time where I don’t go to the library for awhile because I owe them money!! And while I don’t owe them money this time, i can’t check out more books right now because I do have to get a couple back from a friend’s house so I can return them. It can really be so frustrating to be so all over the place! You gotta laugh or you’re gonna cry 😂
I have Autism. 80% of us are unemployed. I've had two major stints of unemployment in my adult life. Spending money and saving are hard with neurodivergence. The unemployment rate for ADHD folks is 2.1 times higher than neurotypicals. I'm very lucky. I'm employed. I'm part of the 20% but even within that, the constant masking, the lack of consideration from neurotypicals etc makes me want to quit constantly. I hope sincerely that you're able to find some solace soon. This stuff is hard. Not spending is hard. You're doing great! Please remember to praise yourself when you hold back. That's HUGE (my wife has ADHD and we live long distance right now I celebrate every little win with her because they're all big; my daughter from a previous relationship also has ADHD, it's incredible to see her grow as well) you are self aware and that's MAJOR! Praise yourself! Do a free activity that you enjoy to celebrate! 🫶🏾
I was diagnosed ADHD as an adult, and it makes all my impulse spending make sense but I still can't seem to stop! I keep blowing my budget on compost worms
Compost worms is absolutely the most wholesome thing ever to impulse spend on.
For myself, I’ve found repetitive but interesting solo work that is divided across the day works best for me. I’m a dental hygienist so my day is divided into 1hr segments, and each case/client is similar enough that I can use systems to ensure quality care, but different enough that it keeps me interested. Another benefit is the high hourly wage- this allows me to work part time and make a full time salary. I can’t keep up with a 9-5. I am happiest and at my best working 3 days per week.
Same here, physiotherapist. The full focus in a 1:1 setting with every new patient every half hour plus the job safety, that's perfect for me and my hypersensitivity/anxiety.
I have ADHD, and when it comes to finances I have two modes: spend everything on impulse buys or keep rigid control over every penny and deprive myself of ANY fun rewards.
Sure, I've gotten a lot better about putting aside some money in a "Whatever TF I Want" category, but it gets spent pretty quickly at the beginning of the month and I'm left on deprivation mode for the next three weeks until I get paid again.
I have heard it described as 'planning mode' and 'doing mode', and that people with ADHD are having a hard time switching between the two. (Rumor has it that some neuro typical folks can be in between the two modes, but my brain can't comprehend what that would look like)
I have a tendency to get stuck in planning mode, making all the plans but never actually getting stuff done, whereas I think the stereotype of ADHD is stuck in doing-mode, doing all of the things, but never thinking about the consequences (this is a big oversimplification of course)
Edit: forgot the part that actually relates to your comment...
For me rigid control = planning-mode, and spend all the money = doing-mode
jup….same…
Yes.
Same. 😢 Thanks for sharing
At 37 and just got diagnosed last year. I’ve been in debt my entire life and would be successful at paying it down or off for a period of months or years (hyperfocus), only to get distracted by some new passion and just never finish. I am now seeing a financial therapist and hope it will help.
I saw the title and I’m like “why are they attacking me?!” 😂 honestly, I really needed this because it’s been harder to manage money lately. It’s like my ADHD has kicked in even more.
Me forgetting things and buying doubles/triples, and forgetting to unsubscribe from stuff, not returning things on time, forgetting to pay things on time… it’s all killing me 😭😭😭😭 uuughhhh
Thank you for choosing to call her Dr. Hamdani! She earned it and it's important to be acknowledged :)
The reason Autism was in that one question is possibly because the co-occurrence of ADHD and Autism is very high, estimated somewhere in the range of 60-70%. Depending on your location it may be easier to get an ADHD dx than an Autism dx, and before 2013 you couldn't get both under the DSM; consequently many ADHDers don't realise they are also Autistic (and vice versa).
Yep, this.
For real? My son got ADHD a couple of years before his Asperger's back around the turn of the century, so I was completely unaware of this. Perhaps because one was through a psychiatrist and the other was through the school, but neither of his subsequent psychiatrists - or his psychologists - ever mentioned this to me, they just focused on treating whatever he was struggling with. Guess he got lucky.
There's at least one other family member with both AS and ADHD diagnosis, but much younger, and I don't think those are his only comorbids.
I struggle so much with rejection sensitivity. I feel like every week in therapy I end up talking about being afraid of being judged/dismissed/thought less of. It feels like the root of my self-worth and social-anxiety problems. But I'm also very pragmatic and methodical like Chelsea! So it's a constant back and forth of getting frustrated with my own mind for caring so much about something that I know is unimportant.
Credit cards are an ADHD person’s worst nightmare! Harsh late payment penalties. Painful automatic payment setup. Impulsive bonus offers…
As someone with ADHD, thank you for this episode! To control my impulse spending, I add the item to my wishlist and and give myself 24-48 hours to decide if I really want the item.
I’ve managed to combat this in the stores by taking pictures of things I would like to purchase. Because then I tell myself if I like it enough after a few days I’ll think about it, look at the photo and go back and get it. It’s almost like my brain logs it as “bought” so the impulse is gone. I’ve never bought anything I took a picture of yet and end up deleting them on the camera roll 😂 It’s baby steps but I’m so much better than I used to be. I’ve also deleted shopping apps on my phone.
Wishlists are a lifesaver! I use them all the time now. I feel like I’ve bought way less this year than last year.
Ok when she forgot the question - THAT IS ME! So many times having a good conversation, but my brain goes down a weird path it thought was related but then I forget what the question was and the thought is lost.
The interview I didn't know I needed. Thank you for addressing this in such a compassionate manner 😊😊❤
30 year old mom of 2 who just got diagnosed- When she got into rejection sensitive dysphoria I felt SO KNOWN. it is literally impossible for me to let things roll off my back.
' I can achieve the same results but in a different way' ❤
I'm so happy I made productive decisions about my finances that changed my life forever. I'm a single mother living in Canada, bought my second house in September and hoping to retire next year at 49 if things keep going smoothly for me
Congratulations beautiful lady. You're really doing well for yourself, I'm 44 and my financial life is in a mess.
Any great tips would really go a long way in shaping my life. I want to buy my own house, that's really a big flex.
the best decisions one should think about right now is to have different sources of income and never depend on the govt. especially with the current economy situation in the country alot of people now invest digital with their mobile devices, i invest in crypto trading and it pays massively.
my first investment with Mrs. Victoria gave me the assurance and has made me create a portfolio of thousands of usd with her
Mrs Victorias' training program has been insightful, and I must say, I'm most honoured to have been part and a full-time beneficiary of her daily signals. I have been growing & have been able to increase my portfolio from 1.5BTC to more than 5.6BTC with her daily signals.
You all should also know that a good capital is the most important key to trading, if you really want to make good cash out of it.
Usually a silent viewer, but as someone who so deeply resonates with caring about EVERYTHING, I find that sometimes it can be helpful to repeatedly hear it’s okay to not care about someone else’s opinion. It is almost like a mantra. It serves as a constant reminder that me not caring about someone’s opinion doesn’t make me a bad person. And I need to hear that 👏🏼 r e g u l a r l y 👏🏼
Thank you so much for talking about this! I feel like no one takes ADHD seriously and it seriously impacts every aspect of my life! Just like Dr. Hamdani mentioned, it's everything from feeding myself to performing at work. It can be really difficult to manage and the current popular narrative makes it seem like a joke. It can be especially damaging when managing other chronic illnesses that are more physical and may require regular medication; if I can't even eat and sleep at regular intervals, how am I supposed to manage this physical illness?? Budgeting around impulsive purchases and potential job instability is also incredibly challenging and it's an added struggle that people without ADHD largely don't have to factor in. Thank you so much for bringing awareness to the struggles and challenges associated with this disorder; I hope to see a shift in the narrative around this!
My ADHD money hacks are:
- Automated savings that can be liquidated easily. I presave for my taxes and in the mean time let them multiply in a savings account a bit.
- create an alert on the phone to remind to pay the bills as soon as they arrive
- creating on and offline folders where I horde my invoices and things for accounting. No filing system or anything just a place to put in, I deal with the sorting once a year
- when deciding to save I don’t go to shopping malls only once a month, as if I’m around things I will buy them, but if I don’t see them I can go without
- on online shopping I open a tab, but not buy the thing. If I remember to buy it more then 5 times I consider to buy it. But not right away. If it important enough I will remember it
I hope it helps some ☺️
Thank you! I have been trying the tab/cart thing too and it seems to help. Just putting it in a cart gives me the dopamine hit I need
I'm so glad she mentioned rejection sensitive dysphoria. It's already wired in the nervous system for many with ADHD - thinking it away doesn't always work.
Thank you for this. As a older woman who was not diagnosed as a kid, family school and work life has been so difficult. I was always in gifted programs in school but my finish was always weak. I would get overwhelmed. Now as an office manager it has been a real struggle to stay on top of and ahead of things in a busy organization. I needed this!
If being an office manager is anything like being the only full-time admin in the building, it is super hard for ADHD. There's no focus time because your job is all about every one else's needs when they need it and they ask you how long for a larger project, but you have no way of knowing how many other people's last minute emergencies you will have to deal with or weird questions you will have to answer before you get the big project done. Is it like that? (I'm a mom to a 150+ adults, mostly men.)
@@tinabean713 exactly!
This was great! I loved the segment about medication, and I have something to add as a layman and fellow ADHDer: Medication isn’t for everyone, as they discussed, nor does it have to be a long term solution for those who do benefit from it. It is, however, a super useful tool for a lot of people. When discussing about their successful and long breaks from medication, there was a lack of note about how medication can be used to help get a person through the rough patches of behavioral adjustments. I would wager a significant amount that medication, in both their cases, helped them reach their behavioral change goals. Just my two cents!
I had a therapist once describe medication to me as helping to raise the baseline of where I'm usually at, so that the skills and behavioral stuff I was working on would be able to make a more noticeable difference. (He was specifically talking about depression, but I think it translates to ADHD as well.)
Behavioral changes are all I have because I can't take stimulant medication for my ADHD because it messes with my heart. I have been able to adapt but it's not the easy route.
This video brings up a lot of points that are very real on a systemic level. It’s refreshing to not have financial advice that gaslights individuals in their unique democratic.
And yes my mental health did improve once I fought my way to a higher tax bracket but boy was that hard work!! I can’t believe that there are people who will never know what this process is like - in both ends of the spectrum.
I really appreciated your discussion on medication. I think my doctor described it best, the end goal of the meds is to eventually not need the meds. If you need it your whole life, then you need it your whole life, but you will never be able to make the sustainable changes that need to be made while going through the daily struggle just to survive. The meds are a bridge.
That’s exactly what my optometrist told me about my glasses. You NEED the glasses, but the goal is to EVENTUALLY throw the glasses away and yet be able to walk around totally blind and not bump into things…the glasses are not a medically prescribed tool they are “just a bridge”…
I mean God forbid that you would have to continue to use glasses long term… you might be seen to be “dependant”.
😂
The end goal of adhd meds is absolutely NOT that you eventually won’t need the meds. That’s not how they work, that’s not how adhd brains work. Sorry to be so harsh but your doctor doesn’t know what they’re talking about.
I have ADHD, generalized anxiety, and CPTSD. I was hesitant about meds for so long, but it got pretty bad and I needed help. Welp, the meds were so much worse. Trying to find the right med. Medical anxiety. Terrible side effects. I realized after that I really am one of the lucky ones that has a lot of tools built up over many years and I'm going to be okay without meds. I feel better than ever, as well.
I feel ridiculously valited when talking about treating the ADHD through behavioral change. I don't want to medicate (because I have A LOT of medical anxiety) but I've worked so so hard to be more functional through behavioral change (both on my own and with my therapist) and it has worked so much! I still struggle with a lot of stuff but I'm doing so much better on many things and now I'm hearing a lot of "it's surely not ADHD if you don't need medication".
THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME!!!
CONGRATS ON 1M TFD!
The way I control _my_ ADHD impulse buying, is by not having any money. 🧠💥😩
:((((((
I usually shame tf outta myself.
Same tbh. When I start making more money, I start getting more impulsive. If I've got nothing or very little to spend, I have to reaaally think about if I need that new shirt or not (or well, if I'm being specific to me it's "Do I really need my 30th set of RPG dice to add to the collection I've built over years because ohhh this one is shiny and a slightly different shade of purple than the last one?)
I think that superpower thing might come from pediatricians. Idk exactly what she said but when my oldest son was diagnosed in 2018, she said something to that effect when she was explaining to him what it meant.
Can't watch this now but I am so excited to watch it tomorrow. I can definitely see my ADHD spending, I basically have two consumer modes research furiously for six months or full on impulse.
I saw the title and I love the video already.
Me too, I feel so seen🥺🥺🥺
Thank you Chelsea for this. You and your guest saved my day…my future, starting tomorrow, actually…renewed hope and self-love…❤️❤️❤️😘😘😘
Oh, I can already tell this is going to be amazing and helpful for us ADHD-having and finance-loving peeps! Thanks for getting this interview, Chelsea. Excited to watch this!
i just got diagnosed like 2 months and am so excited to dive into this episode!! these are the practical discussions i need ❤❤
Yes! I love talking about accessible financial advice! ❤ Love both you and Dr. Sasha Hamdani’s content! 💓 I got diagnosed at 26 and it’s still a little difficult to adjust, but there are so many excellent resources and perspectives available online and it’s like having a para-social support network. We’re all in this together!
My ex has ADHD and an extra tax is exactly what it felt like dating her. Not just on our money, but on our time, too. One of the reasons why it didn't work out between us. I was exhausted with her.
I'm glad I was honest about how I felt no matter how offended she got, because now we are both free to meet people who are better suited for us.
She told me she was diagnosed and I had read about it bit over the years, but living with someone is completely different. I truly wasn't prepared enough.
Yeah, well when you have ADHD dating someone like you is equally exhausting so she’s probably much better off without you as a millstone around her neck.
The carrying the weight of a judgemental “partner” in ADDITION to everything she was managing dealing with ADHD in itself is monstrously hard. And yet, she probably carried more than her share in the relationship. Thank god she doesn’t have to deal with your sh*t any longer.
You sound like a horrible partner, she’s better off without your judgement.
@@mildhoof
You can be offended if you want. I'm just sharing my first hand experience.
I'm sure there are people with ADHD who work on themselves and manage to do well despite their challenges. She wasn't one of them.
@@StorytellingHeadshots " And yet, she probably carried more than her share in the relationship."
This is hilarious because she ended up losing her job and I was the one giving her money lol. Keep the assumptions coming :)
@@AB-py6jl Clearly she needed a partner with a capacity for empathy, and clearly you were lacking. I hope she finds a more supportive and compatible partner.
I’d love to see a conversation like this with Jessica from How to ADHD
They’ve tried in the past but didn’t hear back from her.
@@-natmacwhen ? That also seems like a great collab
did i miss the message in this?
i didn't hear the help about money or what to do about it.
this felt more like a general conversation about ADHD 101
What saved me is that I found a partner who's really good with finances and shames whenever I buy anything. Now, my self esteem is in shambles, but my credit rating is spotless!
Omggg I also have partner who shames some of my expenses. On a bad day, I resent it but on most days, I’m grateful I haven’t been left to my own spending devices.
@@heatherlarissaharo9166 Whenever I feel miffed, I just look at my 401k, which actually exists now! Bigger point: external support is invaluable.
Listening to this was like so therapeutic for me. Thank you for sharing this, I feel so lucky to have access to this conversation for free
Diagnosed at 35, my life has been kind of a s%*t show so far, job to job, dropped out of college. I feel like I'm so far behind in life.
Hey my ADHD friend…i‘ll turn 36 in 2 weeks…and life‘s just too much for me…i just wanna live in my head, i want a world where money doesn‘t exist…i reeeaaally hope you have friends and relatives who help you…so that you can concentrate more on your creativity and empathy, of which i‘m sure you have plenty…please don‘t dispair ❤❤❤💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽 lots of love from Switzerland (i hope my English isn‘t too bad…)
My husband finally got his degree in his mid-forties. Medication and the book “Learning how to learn” were huge game changers. His bachelors took 26 years. His masters took 1 1/2 years. It can be done. You just need to find the approach that works for you.
Ooh, thank you for this! What a great guest. Dr. Hamdani, thank you for sharing your knowledge. Great conversation.
I love her and follow her on ig for adhd and own her book! I have adhd and I always love to follow female adhd er! ❤❤❤ I got my diagnosis at 26 and it’s been really wonderful knowing able to learn about adhd and how it effects me everyday.
What a nice conversation! I really liked how this was a real conversation where both parties really listened and contributed. Thank you both!
I read the title as the opposite of its meaning - why ADHD people make so much money. Saw it in a tech community poll like “do you need ADHD to be high achieving in tech?” and most votes were yes.
Hyper focus and programming go really well together. It’s actually kinda amazing to get lost in code.
I could see people thinking you need ADHD to excel at it.
The catch is that tech has to be the subject of their ADHD hyperfocus. If it isn't, then you might as well try to rope a bull with a lasso made of dental floss and spider webs
Really glad you talked about rejection sensitivity because this is something I struggle with constantly. Logically I know what the worse case is or I tell myself someone’s opinion doesn’t matter to me, but the truth is, it does. And I think they think the worse things about me.
Chelsea, I looove your work and have recommended your channel to a lot of people close to me. I think I first saw you and then found out I was neurodiverse myself. For me finding about ADHD, has been a learning curve that just helps me understanding my brain and I have learned new pathways to work as me.
I’m seeing/hearing this in my TV while looking at my Amazon account to see what’s on my cart. ✨ it’s a process!! 💀
This was so helpful for living my life. I so appreciate all the info, and it will guide me going forward. Thank you so much!!!!
This is extremely informative, thank you. What about managing money while having bipolar disorder?
Hi Chelsea, would you consider doing any more episodes on ADHD? I understand the doctor has a book and an app to sell, so she didn’t want to give away too many of her ‘secrets’, but there was a really frustrating lack of actionable steps in the advice she gave in this episode. I was losing my mind the second time you asked her for easy wins and she redirected to talking about her app instead.
Thanks for bringing this topic to public 👍 great interview and insights!
Yes to ALL of this video! And I wish society would dispel the narrative that "everyone has ADHD..." No, they do not. For those of us that have been diagnosed with this condition, it is so destructive and debilitating. Definitely NOT a superpower.
Keep in mind an estimated 75-80% of those with ADHD are undiagnosed. It is also very expensive for most to be tested, assuming they have the “symptoms “ and believe they do have it. Agreed, not everyone has it, not even close, but even you had it before you were diagnosed. I suspect it has always been “destructive and debilitating” for you. I just want to make sure that those who are ADHD but undiagnosed are not dismissed.
Fantastic podcast and very to the point.
It's 2 am, I'm tired but can't sleep, so I'm listening to this and constantly getting distracted by random thoughts, yet I still somehow managed to retain pretty much all of the points without having to rewind anything. That says a lot. 😂
Glorious 🙌 Phenomenal 🙌 Amazing 🙌
Chelsea please never stop creating!!!
Thank you! Knowing where to start is so helpful.
Ooo I think I wanna get her book
Thos was super interesting. Best one yet
Around 29:00 she mentions the first resource, I don't know if it's my ADHD but I'm not getting the name of the NGO, anyone can help clarifying please? 🤣
I definitely have the struggle side of adhd, but I also understand one viewpoint the superpower claim comes from - a pride in one's brain, and a recognition of the value of the unique ways of thinking it can bring. I do struggle daily doing stuff I *should* be doing, and with the embarrassment that comes from not behaving how a neurotypical adult is expected to behave, but I honestly don't want a different brain, nor would I choose to not have adhd if I could choose. I don't want anyone to patronize me by telling me it's a super power, but I also recognize that it has brought me an advantage in the creative fields I've worked in, and allowed me to find out of the box solutions in groups when we've been stumped by difficult problems
All this is to say, I am very glad to see an expert with ADHD come on this podcast, but please keep inviting more neurodiverse people, and more disabled people, because the diversity of perspective is necessary and valuable
"Why ADHD makes finances hard"
*Hour long video*
I guess I'll never know
I loved to listen to this but I definitely missed concrete money advise for people with adhd.
Or did I zone out without noticing?🙈. If so, can someone please give me a time stamp ?
(Btw I did hear a few tips like taking cash money in to store but I was hoping for a whole approach).
You didn't zone out - I kept waiting for the conversation to get to money and ADHD
Loved this episode!
When you live in South Florida and everybody is struggling and you have a DD and you spend your money money that you can spend you can’t have an allowance because they pay us really bad and then they expect us to pay extremely ridiculous prices for rent car insurance car payment loans less goes on. You still do it now then you find yourself like am I going to be able to survive or am I gonna get out of my house? Is somebody gonna come and take my car? It’s nice to think that you can actually give yourself an allowance even you $10 but the anxiety makes it worse when you don’t have to capability to do any of that you cannot have a treat causeyou don’t have enough money.
i totally understand that its a disorder that deeply impacts my life and causes real strugles for me, i´d never describe it as a "superpower", i think ppl that say stuff like that are being super disingenuous and i agree that it marginalizes the strugles it brings, but if asked "would you like to not have adhd?" i don't know if i'd say yes.
I don't know if its because i've been diagnosed later in life and have been living like this for so long without realizing i was different to the point that it's my "normal" or if it's because it's a relativelly recent diagnosis and i still haven't 100% figured out my way to deal with my patterns and simptoms, but I feel my life and personality are way too deeply entangled in the ways i've been afected and have been dealing with my adhd over the years that i don't know how much of it i'd "loose" if i didn't have it, like, i don't know how and how much i'd change, and i'd be hesitant to take that chance. Like i said, i don't think it's a "net positive", but i do think thats a part of me and i don't know how much of my thought patterns come from my experience with adhd and how much it's really ME, and despise really strugling with it, i really like "me" at the moment.
I’ve never clicked so fast lol
Would be interesting to hear TFD's take on investing/saving/earning with autism, because from experience of Level 1/high-functioning ASD I can tell you it's just as hard and confusing and painful as doing the same with ADHD/ADD (maybe even more so tbh). NTs don't get it.
This was a very good piece that I did not know I needed- Dr. Sasha is well spoken and so resourceful. The conversation needs to be had in countless spaces for so many of us to know what is and is not normal. I at an early age found I had a wandering mind- and my aunt took me and is the reason I finished high school. This helps destroy some misinformation and pushes so many to get legitimate help. Where finances is concerned, having that conversation is not one that is had and to tie it with so many things and ADHD comes knocking on the door which can make it so difficult. Having this information and segment is awesome. Thank you for this video.
I feel seen
Im sure this is fascinating but with neither clear sections or timestamps and a ton of talking about other thinhs than what I came here for, what I needed to know, ie HOW TO HANDLE MONEY, my ADHD brain remembers exactly nothing about this entire video and just found it a complete waste of time...
Watch this while I have 20 plus browsers on looking how to build a catio..oh yes impulse spending is a huge deal
Great guest, I learned so much! I want to add that Chelsea could work on being a more open + friendly host. There were times when the guest was talking and smiling and Chelsea was sitting there, just expressionless, almost mean mugging her, literally giving nothing in the form of acknowledgement to the guest. Conversations are an exchange of energy...I actually felt uncomfortable for Dr. Hamdani a few times because trying to have a conversation with someone like that can be so difficult. Kuddos to her for navigating her way through it.
You’re projecting something that wasn’t there.
@@mildhoof nope. it was there.
@@frankie9953 👍
Lack of self preservation?
Hi Chelsea,
I own rental properties, I get my Social Security, and annuity. My caregiver control almost my entire life, especially my money. She goes into my accounts at Chase Bank. Being severely ADHD I don't remember what I purchased. So, my caregiver down the line of my account saying Amazon, Amazon, TEMU, TEMU, ETSY, ETSY. I told you could only buy food.
She also doesn't think ADHD is real. Says ADHD is medical and pharmaceutical companies way of getting money from fools. Plus, she told me she hasn't paid my Credit cards bills since June
She said I was $50grand in debt. I told her, my credit rating will be ruin. She said not my problem. This is all your problem, and I could care less what to you!
I am now sad and severely depressed. I suffer from Clinical Depression.
So, my question to you ladies: What do I do? My caregiver is confident there is no such thing as ADHD. I feel like this spending is my fault and I deserve to be financially ruined.
You really do need CBT with medication. But honestly, for me, I did years of CBT without medication, but the medication is what really made me normal. My ADHD is severe though. But I'm a lot more together when im on medication. My mother noticed this (the genetic source of my ADHD). Also im able to regulate anger/frustration better which is vital for my family life. People who think you can just will away a disorder are clearly misinformed and as they said just nod and let the ignorance roll of.
CBT is not effective for all neurodivergent people, especially those with both ADHD and autism. But there are many other modalities. The key is to find a therapist or coach that works for you.
What’s the name of the app she created? It sounds helpful!
I think she said Focus Genie, but it won't be out for a few more months
For the part about talking to your employer, I think Chelsea is quite bias here because she talks from the POV of a small business and where, I assumed, has a good culture. But for the bigger setting, the culture is not about company's culture, sometimes, it's team culture. And some people/manager aren't really that empathy.
7:50
I'm not finished with this episode yet, but I feel like it would be ignorant for me to not see the upsides that my disability has. Being a creative person and who's also into spirituality while also having ADHD provides a lot of unique challenges. Even if the reality of my disability is something I can't change, who says that I can't celebrate the ways it makes me unique? Toxic positivity is an issue; I can easily recognize that, but optimism and joy is a choice. If you're privileged enough to create a life for yourself and to be happy wiith that, then take advantage of that. If you don't come from a place of privilege, then still, who says you don't have a choice? I can only speak from my own personal circumstances here.... I come from a place of privilege. I recognize that, so perhaps my views on the whole "my ADHD is a superpower" is more neutral.
1:57
Chelsea, where did you go for your audio settings? Am working on my audio setting and it's been a failure. At this rate, imma have to pay someone for some presets.
Also, behavioral modification is what has been helping me with my anxiety and overthinking. My therapist recommended last week that I should create a list of all the things that I want to do because wanting to do too much is keeping me from doing anything and I wrote up a list and created goals. It was really relieving to get that focus as well as establishing goals because I always feel I have to do everything all at once or completely overload my day with stuff but my therapist said to give each goal a timeframe and to never have more than two things for the week. Her saying that was like someone taking off 100 pounds off my back.
I'm sorry Chelsea, I really want to watch this, but watching financial stuff is like trying to force myself to eat broccoli. I can manage vegetables if it's fast and over quickly, so I won't be able to finish an hour long video on the equivalent of broccoli, does anyone want to take pity on me and provide an executive summary? Or maybe timestamps of your favorite parts? Thank you!!!
Please help me find if there are scientific articles discussing the link between ADHD and hyper mobility (ie Ehlers Danlos). Especially if there is support for the anecdotal evidence of ADHD medication helping with hyper mobility and related physical issues (like arthritis).
🙏
Ditto
My family and acquaintances say I'm bitter, overly concerned, and plain crazy. They are oblivious to what is going on because they are too focused with their work and daily challenges. They perceive the two-year increase in home values as usual. The rise in home prices only serves to underline how worthless the dollar has become. Because a weak currency can be a warning of an economic slowdown, I've been considering the best ways to protect myself from inflation. I've also heard that inflation is a money-eater, which has me concerned about my $230,000 in savings.
In my opinion, the impact of the rise or fall of the U.S. dollar on investments is multifaceted but learning how to grow your money has never been easier than now that you can explore and experience a truly diverse marketplace passively by using a well-performing wealth manager.
👍👍👍
Its quite hilarious that this video is over an hour long.. considering the topic. As someone with ADHD I would love to know what to do with my money, as someone with ADHD I will never get through this video, no offence meant, but c'mon..
I feel your pain, but I get through long things like that either by watching them in chunks instead of all at once, or by listening to it while doing boring chores (I sometimes do get distracted and miss some things but when this happens I just rewind a bit or ignore it, if it's just a small part and I can still grasp the overall idea).
Adjust the speed settings! This topic is absolutely deserving of as much time as the other episodes.
I'm glad I'm not the only one! The most I can tolerate is about 5 minutes and even at 1.75 speed it won't fit into 5 minutes!
Welp here's more confirmation that I most likely am undiagnosed. 👍
Chelsea, some tips for more inclusive language: instead of implying that ADHD is not "normal," recognize that it is a part of normal human variation, and you can instead say something like "a brain the world was not designed for", or "neurodistinct/neurodivergent".
Also instead of "ladies and gentlemen" just use "folks"-- especially when talking about neurodivergent folks, as there is a higher incidence of gender nonconforming people in our community.
"Water off a ducks back". I am stealing that, thanks Chelsea!! 😂
I was expecting Rebecca watson
am I the only one who sees a horse in the lower left of the thumbnail? I looked at the horse looking right with a brown hair and tan chin and a halter for like 2 minutes before I saw a human looking left
Awesome commentary
If anyone can work as a virtual assistant kindly indicate because I'm currently hiring remotely. $2,500 monthly.
I know that this isn't a possibility for everyone, but I can't express just how life-changing it has been for me to find a supervisor with whom I can be open about my ADHD and the unique struggles that come with it. I've always felt like I had to mask my ADHD at work, and I've had a lot of supervisors who tried to mold me to be what they wanted out of an employee. It was a lot of "Here's what you're doing wrong, now just stop doing that." Now that I'm able to be open with my boss about my ADHD, I have been able to say, "This is something that's hard for me, and it will always be hard for me." We're able to set goals that are realistic for me, like learning goals, and he is able to support me in the areas that I can't realistically change. He's able to assign me tasks that are compatible with my strengths, and not force me into tasks that will bore me to literal tears. He helps me determine the priority order of tasks, the amount of time I should be budgeting for certain tasks, ways to work through blocks, and set soft or hard deadlines as needed. He is able to be a liason if my RSD makes it difficult for me to communicate with colleagues, or at least work out what to say. Because of this successful working relationship, we have been able to tailor my job description to fit me, and my unique strengths, rather than trying to fit me into a pre-ordained box. I've been able to flourish and produce work that I'm proud of, without burning myself out.
Your episode topics are so interesting but the episodes are so long- especially for an adhd girly. I really want to watch this but my brain cannot handle an hour long episode 🥲
🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿